Original subtitles

♪ ♪

I'm Dick Strawbridge, and along with my wife Angel and our two

children, we left the U.K. for a whole new life in France

and bought this magnificent chateau.

We haven't ever regretted what we've done.

It is so worth it.

We've gradually been making it into our home, as well as

running it as a business.

That's a long way up.

But it turns out we're not alone, as dozens of Brits are

doing exactly the same thing.

♪ ♪

[kid laughs]

Sometimes you have to pinch yourself to think,

"I own that."

Dick: In this series, Angel and I will reveal more about our

journey as chateau owners--

Quite a lot of scrap here.

It's worth money.

I might be able to pay you this time.

--and guide these daring Brits where we can--

[both laugh]

It's a solid old bridge, matey.

- --as they renovate-- - Tim: This is looking good.

I'm quite happy with this.

Dick:--repair--

I've never done this before, so it should be all right.

Dick:--and struggle to transform these buildings into their homes

and businesses.

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

Absolutely magnificent.

Philip: This is the glamorous chateau life that everyone

thinks I need.

Just trying to avoid getting my face near the toilet seat.

This is not the way to make money.

Dick: But however hard the going gets, these plucky Brits can

always say they're kings and queens of their very own

castles.

Woman: Cheers.

Chin chin.

♪ ♪

Dick: Today:

It's when you need someone like Dick Strawbridge.

I mean, he'd understand something like this.

Dick: One couple's expansion plans are under threat from

hundreds of bees.

Tim: Look at that.

They're swarming.

Dick: And some tractor trouble.

[engine stalls]

Tim: Can't believe I've just done this.

An incredibly stupid thing to do.

♪ ♪

Dick: There's design disagreement at this very

ambitious renovation project.

Nicole: Can you do it with a glass roof?

Absolutely [bleeps].

Yes, we will do that.

Definitely.

[laughing] I'm actually being serious.

♪ ♪

Dick: And at our beautiful chateau, my mind's on food--

You can put cheese in here.

You know, all sorts of salamis and meats and things can go in

here.

--building a food smoker.

This is the subtle way of lighting.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: Meet Essex-born Tim and his Dutch wife Margreeth.

They own and run this imposing looking building: Chateau des

Lys.

♪ ♪

Dick: Built in the mid-19th century, it was once a boys'

school.

The couple are now into their fourth year running it as a B&B.

♪ ♪

Tim: I see this place as being a bit like a cross between sort of

The Addams Family and Fawlty Towers, you know?

I mean, it's kind of lovely.

On the other hand, you can look at it as kind of forbidding.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Dick: Before giving up everything for their new life in

France, Tim was a bassist in a successful band and Margreeth

was a teacher.

[laughter]

It's so great to do something totally new and out of your

comfort zone.

Tim: Yeah.

And in Holland, our lives were very, very separate.

He always worked weekends, evenings, holidays.

And yeah, we really like being together still.

It's amazing.

- We're very lucky. - Margreeth: Yeah.

♪ ♪

Dick: Situated in Northern France in the Picardie region,

it's a big place.

64 rooms--five of them used for bed and breakfast--and two

holiday cottages on the 14-acre grounds.

♪ ♪

Tim: I love this place, think it's great.

When we arrived, it was basically one enormous bat's

nest, actually, I have to say.

Dick: It's the start of the summer season, and they're busy

entertaining guests.

Margreeth: This is our veranda.

This is where our guests normally have their breakfast.

And we use this a lot as well.

Arguably the nicest place in the chateau to sit and just look out

the window.

And for the price of less than a house in London, you can get all

this with all the land and everything.

Dick: They're reluctant to reveal exactly how much they

paid for it, but I reckon they got a bargain.

- Margreeth: It's wow. - Tim: Yeah.

Margreeth: Still wow.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Margreeth: Of course, it costs a lot of money to live in a place

like this.

I think it works out about somewhere between 5,000 and

6,000 a month to run this place.

Margreeth: It's actually a bit more than that.

It's actually nearly 8,000.

We don't really make money here yet.

♪ ♪

Dick: At the moment, they barely break even, but this year, Tim

and Margreeth are determined to make a profit, so they've come

up with a bold idea:

Running a caravan park.

Tim: Last weekend, if we had had these things in place, we would

have earned another 1,000 euros for that week.

That's--you know, we had so much demand.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Dick: They have their first caravan booking for later in the

summer, but the park doesn't exist yet.

Their only caravan is a complete mess, and it's parked in the

wrong field.

So first up, Tim needs to tow it into place with this tiny

tractor.

Good luck, mate.

♪ ♪

The battery's not working--[chuckles]--so I've had

to replace it with another one, except the size of the batteries

in this particular area do not correspond with the size of the

hole in the engine.

I found a battery which fits to within about 25 millimetres,

so I'm gonna have to saw off the last 25 millimetres.

Dick: Not a good idea.

Do not try this at home.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

[bleep]

That's a--that is an incredibly stupid thing to do.

I can't--I can't believe I've just done this.

Dick: Nor can I.

It's now dangerous, and it's leaking sulphuric acid.

This battery needs to be recycled.

But Tim got a sealant gun, and he's got other ideas.

It normally hardens up pretty quickly actually, so it actually

might have worked.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Except that it didn't.

Dick: Take two.

♪ ♪

- Tim: Still leaking. - [birds chirping]

Dick: I'll be gobsmacked if this ever works.

[sighs]

- It hasn't work. - Dick: No surprises there.

I'm beginning to learn Tim's not the type to give up.

Incredibly, he's decided to place the battery on its side.

I don't see a reason why it shouldn't work.

♪ ♪

Dick: It may function, but it will leak and give off dangerous

gases.

♪ ♪

Tim: Well I'll tell you what, it fits a lot better like that.

[laughs]

If I had put it like that originally, it wouldn't need

to saw anything off.

Dick: Definitely do not try this at home.

♪ ♪

Dick: Ah, a trusty universal engine starter.

[engine starts up]

Dick: Ah, the sweet sound--

- [engine stalls] - Dick:--of stalling.

♪ ♪

Dick: Sounds like you've run out of diesel.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Dick: Like Tim, there's nothing I like more than tinkering

around an old engine, or even better, building my own

invention.

♪ ♪

Dick: Luckily for me, I've got a chateau full of treasures left

behind by the previous owners.

Lookit there.

That barrel is amazing condition.

I've got a plan for one of these old barrels.

If there's one thing I love as much as engineering, it's food.

♪ ♪

Dick: I've been building my own food smokers as a hobby for

years.

It's about time I made my first one for the chateau.

I think I built my first smoker probably 30 years ago out of an

oil drum.

All you have to do is put a smokebox outside it, put some

smoke into it, and you get smoked food.

♪ ♪

Dick: Now I just need a stove for the fire.

It's another treasure hunt.

♪ ♪

Dick: I just love the fact that every time you come to the

attic, you find something.

That's almost too pretty.

♪ ♪

Dick: I'll use that probably as a stove, as opposed to a smoker.

♪ ♪

[laughs]

Dick: And this little burner should be perfect.

I reckon it's from the '20s or '30s, and looks pretty much

purpose-built.

It looks like it's meant to be smoking food.

And this is so ridiculous.

Hmm, hello.

[laughs]

It's better than that!

It opens and shuts to regulate the amount of smoke.

I thought I was gonna have to build something do that.

Way to go!

♪ ♪

Dick: I've done lots of different types of smokers.

This is a cold smoker.

I have a lovely oak barrel, and I'm going to cut it up.

Wooden barrels, oil drums, even a filing cabinet can all be

turned into cold smokers.

And there's very little heat involved.

Most materials will work, including sturdy cardboard.

Beside that, I've got my little stove, and there's a pipe going

between the two.

In the little stove, there's a little firebox, and the smoke in

there is warm.

But by the time it's moved down the pipe and into my barrel,

it'll be cool.

♪ ♪

Dick: It's simple:

Create an opening at one end of the smoker, fit a civil pipe,

and connect to some kind of a stove holding your fire.

♪ ♪

Dick: Fills this, everything in there gets smoked, and all my

excess smoke goes out the top.

You can put cheese in here.

You know, all sorts of salamis and meats and things can go in

here, and they will get smoke flavour in them without them

cooking.

♪ ♪

Dick: I fancy some French cheese as the first food into the

Strawbridge smoker.

Just half a mile down the road, there's a fromagerie who

specializes in beautiful soft cheeses.

Perfect.

[speaking in French]

[woman speaking in French]

I think they understand what's going on.

[both speaking in French]

Dick: I was thinking what we could do is keep one to the side

as a control.

- Yeah. - Smoke two.

Angel: Yeah, I'm up for that.

Dick: We're gonna be so full of cheese.

- Woman: Thank you. - Angel: Au revoir.

Au revoir, bye-bye.

Thank you.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Dick: One of the delights of smoking is experimenting with

different types of wood which will all add flavour.

I reckon the shavings from the chateau apple trees will be

lovely.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: This is the subtle way of lighting.

[window creaks]

Dick: Darling, it will be six hours of gentle smoking,

followed by 24 hours of waiting, followed by cheese.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Dick: After a frankly agonizing wait, it's the moment of truth.

♪ ♪

- Oh! - Oh, man!

Yummy, yummy.

♪ ♪

Mm.

- Mm, that works, baby. - Dick: Delicious.

Just as I knew it would be.

When you sit down at a table, it's got your food on it,

and you're thinking to yourself, "Aww, life's good."

Angel: It's beautiful.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Dick: Angel and I have spent almost three years doing up our

French chateau, and we're nowhere near finished.

But that's the commitment you take on with these magnificent

buildings.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Dick: This is Chateau d'Humierès, a crumbling 18th

century castle, home to designer Nicole and her architect

boyfriend Stephan.

He's very skilled at doing the construction and pulling the

building back together.

My thing isn't that, it's more the aesthetic side of things.

I'm into old buildings.

I love old buildings.

I love the old stone.

I love this region.

And lucky.

Hectic but lucky.

[birds chirping]

Every day gives us some new challenges of going

traumatically wrong sometimes, but it's an adventure.

That's what's fun.

♪ ♪

Dick: Nicole from London has been helping Belgian Stephan

restore this 12-acre pile since they met three years ago.

Stephan: I think the castle has about--how many rooms we have?

No idea.

I don't know if I've ever counted.

No.

Dick: Situated in the Pas-de-Calais region of northern

France, Stephan originally bought this place with his

parents.

But since they passed away, he and Nicole have been turning it

into their home.

♪ ♪

Dick: But they desperately need to bring in some cash,

so they've hit on a plan to renovate the chateau's crumbling

main hall and open it as a tearoom.

We're just doing a preliminary kinda clean.

It's got years of grime on the walls, and in the corners by the

window.

And soon, it needs to stop draining money.

Nicole: Yeah.

It needs to be not generating money, but at least to be

self-financing.

Nicole: We plan to have the tearoom opening towards sometime

in August.

Now we're mid-May.

It's like no time at all.

♪ ♪

Dick: Just three months to gut this wreck, create a new

kitchen, and turn it into a tearoom.

I reckon that makes them supremely confident or a little

deluded.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Stephan: So let's have a look underneath here and see what's

happening there.

Dick: This morning, they're working on what will be the

tearoom's main entrance.

Stephan wants to get rid of the ugly flagstone paving outside

and is keen to see if there are any original features beneath.

Stephan: It's huge.

Nicole: You think it's bigger than the other one?

Stephan: It's a gigantic stone.

[chatter]

- Man: I think it's concrete. - Nicole: Oh, really?

- Stephan: My goodness. - Man: Yeah, that's concrete.

Dick: All their digging has revealed is plain concrete.

[dog barks]

Dick: Not quite the period feature they were hoping for.

Stephan: Well I'm disappointed.

♪ ♪

Dick: Never fear, designer Nicole is bound to find a way of

turning boring concrete into something beautiful.

We're going to pull up a metre 20 either sides of the step,

and then hopefully create some kind of--so sweep in.

♪ ♪

Dick: It's turning into a major excavation, but after an hour's

hard graft, Nicole's plan is already taking shape.

Nicole: That is absolutely the entrance.

Dick: And there's a surprise for Stephan.

Cobblestone.

This is a cobblestone.

♪ ♪

Stephan: Look, Nicole, they're gigantic.

Just so beautiful.

- See, I had a good idea. - [Nicole laughs]

♪ ♪

Dick: What a result.

Past the edge of the concrete, Stephan stumbled upon the

chateau's original 18th century cobblestones.

They could clean up and be a perfect entrance for the

tearoom.

Never thought we were going to find such beautiful stones under

here.

They're from the--from the first part of the castle, so from

first build of the castle.

Should be 1780s.

Dick: But now, Stephan's left with a couple of tonnes of

rubble, and no easy way to move it.

♪ ♪

Dick: Although, he thinks he may have the answer.

So this monster has been standing here I think for about

ten years.

Dick: What a magnificent beast.

But he's going to need a lot of luck if he wants to get it

started.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: Renovating a chateau is all about being resourceful and

making the best of what you've got.

Back in our place in northwest France, Angel's a bit of an

expert when it comes to seeing the potential in almost

anything.

This colour is quite fashionable, isn't it,

but I just don't like it.

[chuckles]

Paint stripper [chuckles].

Dick: Angel wants to strip away the hideous green yet still

maintain the door's original character.

The process is simple enough, but we easily have 100 doors in

this place, pretty much all in need of some kind of attention.

So we're gonna do this bit first, and then when I sort of

get to about here--[coughs]--I'll put some on

there, so it'll be a bit of a rolling effect, and I'll go down

the door.

♪ ♪

Dick: This one door will most likely take Angel two hours to

bring it to life.

Angel: Dick had to strip some of these doors at the start because

we had--we had lead paint basically.

Once we started stripping them, it was just a revelation.

They looked really good.

And it was kind of cheap.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Dick: A good wooden door can easily cost £100 new.

Multiply that by the number we've got, and you're looking at

thousands of pounds.

My pockets aren't that deep.

We can't afford to replace everything.

It's just crazy.

Love keeping the character of the house.

This is what I'm here to do.

This is my calling in life, to look after old things.

[snorts and chuckles]

I love Dick [chuckles].

There's just so many different parts to a door.

Just finding what bits works for each.

You don't scratch the door.

Dick: Deep scratches might mean the wood needs sanding down.

Or in bad cases, a squeeze of wood filler.

Extra work you don't need, so it's worth taking care.

I mean, just look how beautiful these doors are underneath.

Why did they paint them green?

I don't know.

♪ ♪

Angel: The problem is I'm always under like the time schedule

with the kids coming home soon [chuckles].

Dick: That's the problem with jobs in the chateau.

Sometimes everyday life takes over.

It was weeks later before the door could finally be hung,

but it was worth it.

♪ ♪

I was very, very surprised of how well it turned out.

Even more surprised when we put a matte varnish on to seal it.

Kind of dulled down the tones a little bit.

And I've actually got something that I really love.

♪ ♪

Dick: So far, we spent a relatively modest three years

renovating our chateau.

Check out this place that's a decade in and counting.

♪ ♪

Dick: For a thousand years, overlooking the hills of

Lautrec, astute Chateau de Brametourte.

The medieval fort is the ancestral home of the famous

painter, Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec.

Lovely view.

It's now owned by IT specialist Paul and his wife Alison--an HR

consultant--who paid £650,000 for the chateau ten years ago.

We had a list of things we were looking for, and top of the list

was that there had to be a wow factor associated with it.

This definitely had the wow factor.

♪ ♪

Alison: And also, somewhere that had lots of materials that we

could use for the restoration, that was old tiles, roofing

tiles, floor files, old doors.

Paul: Yeah.

Alison: We brought a friend to look at it, and she said,

"Do you realize there's a fine line between a renovation

opportunity and a ruin?

And I think you're really looking at a ruin here."

[Paul laughs]

♪ ♪

Dick: They've worked for over a decade to breathe new life into

this French relic and turn it into a B&B.

These windows were originally just plastic over the hole in

the wall.

We had a local craftsman make these reproduction antique

windows, certainly add to the chateau, make it feel authentic.

Dick: Located in the south of France in the Languedoc region,

the local vineyards echo with a sound of ongoing renovation

works.

Paul is making an outdoor kitchen so that this summer's

paying guests can have food and drink by the swimming pool.

As with every job, he recycles the original material from the

chateau.

Paul: So this is some old oak.

In a number of the rooms, we took out the floorboards.

But if you cut off the crumbly bits, and the bits that have

been eaten, it's really solid.

Oak has a heart, and that becomes as hard as steel over

time.

So by trimming them up and reusing them, we can make a very

rustic looking kitchen, and we've kind of restored part of

the heritage of the house.

♪ ♪

Dick: Even though they do most of the renovations themselves,

this place still costs an arm and a leg.

Alison: The budget is around 50,000 euros to run this place

each year, which means that Paul and I are doing contract work.

We just want to be here [chuckles]--

Yeah.

--because it's a fabulous place.

♪ ♪

Dick: This year, they're hoping to give up their contract work

and run the chateau full time by hosting more weddings.

Events will bring in more profit than the B&B and the small tea

parties they hold.

♪ ♪

We've gotta really plan the next few months very carefully.

We've got to make absolutely sure that the kitchen is

operational, that we've got furniture and everything

organized.

What are you doing?

- You've got your-- - I'm doing all of that.

I don't know what you're doing.

[both laugh]

♪ ♪

Dick: But there's one job that Paul has avoided all winter.

Their swimming pool is the centrepiece for the wedding

events.

It's been slowly losing water, and the decking has subsided,

making it dangerous.

Paul: This decking settled down six inches, so we've got a small

problem.

But I think also that might be the cause of why the water's

leaking, because there's a few pipes that come out here, and if

the soil settled down, it could have snapped the pipes.

So that could be the cause of the water leak, so I gotta dig

up all the side of the pool.

It's gonna be really hard to repair.

♪ ♪

Dick: They need it fixed before a big wedding in a month's time.

♪ ♪

Alison: We're a little bit under pressure because the swimming

pool's right in front of the chapiteau, which is French for

"marquee."

It's all leaking away.

Where is it going?

We don't want our customers to disappear down the side of the

hill as the water washes the clay area away.

♪ ♪

Dick: Alison's off on a three-week business trip to

Australia and is expecting Paul to have it sorted by the time

she gets back.

Paul: It's not a job I'm looking forward to, to be honest.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Dick: Some 550 miles north, back at Tim and Margreeth's chateau

in Picardie, they're attempting to create a new caravan park to

bring in much-needed revenue.

Tim's trying to tow his caravan to its new home in the next

field, but he's having tractor trouble.

He spent hours trying to fit a new battery, but the problem is

much simpler.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Well, I've got a feeling that it's run out of petrol or

diesel [chuckles].

Dick: Ya numpty.

I told ya.

Tim: How you doing?

Suppose you could just pull the caravan.

Dick: Might be quicker at this rate.

Tim: I'm hoping that this is the problem why the engine stopped.

[engine starts up]

Dick: Success.

But very wisely, Tim's not keen on driving the tractor with acid

pouring out of his battery.

- [engine rumbling] - [laughs]

What I'm gonna do now is be very, very careful not to stall

it.

♪ ♪

Dick: Once it's been fired up, the alternator can keep the

engine ticking over without a battery, but it's not great for

the engine.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: All Tim's got to do now is hook up the caravan and tow it

away.

Good luck with that.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[Dick laughs]

Dick: I think that's what kids today call an epic fail.

Tim: I have to say it's beaten me.

This hasn't moved an inch.

That's it.

So yeah, size matters [laughs].

Dick: It sure does.

Lucky for Tim, his neighbour is willing to lend a hand with this

beauty.

Tim: He's manoeuvred it into position.

I'm gonna have to say it's brilliant bit of driving.

♪ ♪

Dick: The caravan may now be in the right place, but it still

needs a complete makeover.

It'll be spruced up, put some glass in the windows, change the

top bit, change the bottom bit, stick a new chassis on it.

Dick: Just a bit of work then.

[birds chirping]

♪ ♪

Dick: Back at Nicole and Stephan's chateau in the

Pas-de-Calais.

They've a tight deadline to turn a grand-but-derelict hole into a

high-end tearoom and terrace so the chateau can start paying for

itself.

♪ ♪

Dick: But the exciting discovery of some 18th century

cobblestones has thrown up several tonnes of heavy rubble.

Stephan's putting his faith in this rusty old digger.

So this monster has been standing here I think for about

ten years.

See if we can start it up.

Dick: Good luck with that.

♪ ♪

Dick: First, Stephan checks the battery.

Stephan: Why doesn't this want to start?

Come on.

♪ ♪

Dick: It looks like it's dead.

A crude way of testing it is to short-circuit the battery.

If the battery sparks, then there's some charge,

but it's not recommended.

- Stephan: Aha. - Dick: Bingo.

This antiquated French digger might actually start.

- [vehicle revving] - Utter madness.

[vehicle revving]

- [vehicle revving] - [engine starts up]

Dick: Unbelievably, the engine seem is to be ticking over fine.

Now, there's just the small matter of learning how to drive

it.

Meanwhile, upstairs, designer Nicole's in her element,

examining some of the chateau's old wallpaper.

Wow, that is so satisfying.

[chuckles]

There's like five or six layers of wallpaper here.

♪ ♪

Dick: She's looking for inspiration for the tearoom

décor.

Isn't that amazing?

What amazing colours.

I mean, it's so bright.

♪ ♪

Nicole: Wow.

I can't get over how stunning this is.

Dick: This could be the chateau's original wallpaper

dating back to 1780.

You know, it might be nice, to use it downstairs in the

tearoom.

♪ ♪

Dick: Back down in the gardens, it's crunch time for Stephan.

He's managed to get this old beast to the chateau, but can he

make it lift.

Stephan: What could happen now is that the hydraulic cable snap

because of the weight.

♪ ♪

Dick: Bingo!

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: So thanks to this amazing find, the rubble is soon swiftly

moved.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

So you see what you can find at a castle, huh?

[groans]

[birds chirping]

Dick: Inside, Nicole's keen to share her wallpaper discovery

and sell Stephan on her plan to bring it back to life in the

tearoom.

Stephan: Oh my goodness.

It's busy, huh?

It's very busy.

Nicole: What we'll do is copy that--

Yeah?

--and have it made into a new wallpaper.

OK.

Nicole: We've just revealed those orange cobblestones--

Stephan: Yeah, yeah, and this will go very nicely together,

yeah.

Nicole: You walk in, it'll be brilliant, yeah?

Stephan: Yeah, yeah, I see what you mean.

Very special--

It's really nice, don't you think?

Stephan: This is fantastic.

It's a great discovery.

♪ ♪

Dick: Back down in Languedoc in the south of France...

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Dick:..Paul and Alison are desperate to give up their

contract work and make a full-time living from their

chateau by hosting more weddings.

Before they can open their doors this summer, Paul needs to fix

the leaking swimming pool and subsiding terrace pronto.

♪ ♪

Dick: With his wife in Australia, he's busy planning

the repairs in his workshop.

This is the workshop, and it used to be the water tank for

the chateau.

And when the water mains were laid, we thought wouldn't it be

a great idea to turn this into a workshop?

♪ ♪

Dick: Perfect for all the renovations and work around the

chateau, like fixing the swimming pool.

In previous summers, they've turned the pool area into a

wedding venue with a marquee overlooking the valley.

But in his man cave, Paul has another project he'd rather get

on with.

We found this when we bought the chateau.

It was hidden away in the basement, and it's a Solex,

a very traditional French bicycle that they stuck a

petrol engine on the top of.

So, this petrol engine's got a little rubber wheel, and it

turns the front wheel, and you start the engine, and you push

it forward.

It connects to the front wheel.

You zoom along, and you can get a good 20 kilometres an hour out

of it.

So, that'll be great if I can get that going.

Yeah, perfect for popping into town and getting a baguette in

the morning.

♪ ♪

Dick: Not sure Alison will be happy to come home and found you

spent your time fiddling with that bike.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: At the opposite end of the country, back at Tim and

Margreeth's B&B in northern France, the summer season may

already be underway, but they need to find ways to bring in

more cash.

The plan:

A caravan park.

But they have another idea too, starting a co-ownership scheme

on their holiday gîtes.

Basically, it's costing them 25,000 euros, which is a one-off

payment, and that gives you--for 25 years, that gives you five

weeks.

So someone will have five weeks of the year, which is a sort of

rotation thing, a little bit like a timeshare.

And you can do whatever you like with it.

You can rent it out or whatever.

♪ ♪

Dick: But there's a spanner in the works.

They can't lease the gîtes, unless they fix a problem:

A bee colony in one of the chimneys.

It's when you need someone like Dick Strawbridge.

I mean, he'd understand something like this.

Dick: Sadly, those bees have to go.

Otherwise, no one will want to stay there.

[bees buzzing]

They're in a chimney.

It's in a family gîte, so there'll be people going in and

out of it, and so I have to deal with this.

It breaks my heart, but unfortunately, there's no way of

getting rid of them without actually having to kill them,

so on with the beekeeping outfit.

I don't actually have a beekeeping outfit, so I'm gonna

improvise and make one.

Dick: In this case, using a tree surgeon's helmet, bin bags, and

plenty of gaffer tape.

♪ ♪

So what we're doing here is we're sealing up this bit here

to stop bees getting in.

Make it as big as possible, so that gives me a bit of

protection.

♪ ♪

Tim: Good.

How much does a beekeeping outfit cost?

You got any idea?

Probably about 10 euros or something.

Margreeth: It's worth--

Tim: Pretty cheap than a roll of gaffer tape.

Dick: You can get one online for around £20.

OK, you've never looked better.

- Tim: I never has. - Well done.

♪ ♪

Dick: Ridiculous outfit?

Check.

Equipment?

Check.

Man walking towards certain death?

Let's hope not.

- OK, good luck. - Tim: Thank you.

♪ ♪

Tim: I don't feel very safe doing this, I have to admit.

Dick: Bee careful, Tim.

Sorry.

Sorry about that.

♪ ♪

He normally comes down whole, so let's just trust that that will

happen again this time.

[birds chirping]

[bees buzzing]

Tim: The little bees are very, very busy.

The good--good thing about that is I can see where they're going

in and out.

They should be fairly easy to close.

♪ ♪

Dick: Like his suit, Tim's plan is a bit slapdash.

First, he tries to get the bees out with insect spray.

Tim: OK, here goes nothing.

[bees buzz]

Tim: There they go.

Look at that, they're swarming.

Dick: Next, he tries to block up all the gaps.

Tim: There are a lot more bees than I thought there were.

Be careful, Tim.

Hold on.

♪ ♪

Tim: Oh, there we go.

There's a big hole there.

So, I'm just gonna fill this hole up.

There's a really great big front door around the other side that

I can't get to.

Dick: Unbelievably, it seems his ridiculous beekeeping suit is

working.

Tim: The good news is they seem to be going for the foam rather

than me.

I'll be glad when it's over.

It's scary seeing him up there.

Tim: I'm done the job because I can see that the bees can't get

in or out.

♪ ♪

Tim: Oh, man, it's nice to get out of that.

- Margreeth: Well done. - Thank you [chuckles].

♪ ♪

Tim: Just have to wait and see what happens with the bees

and--

Margreeth: Yeah, just give it a couple of days.

It's done.

- It's chateau life, isn't it? - Well done.

♪ ♪

Dick: Getting rid of these bees is vital.

Leasing out the gîtes means a cash injection of 25,000 euros.

But for now, Tim and Margreeth have other things on their

mind--

♪ ♪

Tim: Lots of people coming in.

It's a full chateau.

And these are the last-minute preps before people turn up.

Dick:--preparing for the arrival of 30 guests tomorrow.

Tim: Panicking.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: Back down in the Languedoc in the south of France, Paul's

finally got around to trying to repair the swimming pool.

♪ ♪

Dick: It's a visual focus for their weddings which are crucial

to increase their profits.

- [Champers growls] - Paul: Champers, no!

- [Champers growls] - [Paul chuckles]

Dick: With the help of his friend Grant, he's hoping to

find out why the pool is losing water and make the decking safe

for guests.

Paul: So what we do, I think, Grant, is take the wooden

flooring off, dig down, have a look, fix the repair, fill it

up, check it's all working, and then job done.

OK.

Paul: If we get a push on, we'll be done today.

- Grant: Optimistic. - [both chuckle]

♪ ♪

Dick: Paul's wife Alison is away working--

Grant: And we sort of need to know which end is which.

Paul: Yeah, I'll write it all on the right-hand end.

Dick:--and wants it sorted before she gets back.

Paul: We've got a real problem.

We've really got to find out what's happened and why it's

leaking; otherwise, we could have a disaster like this when

we've got customers here in the summer.

The outer edge of reinforced concrete, that has also managed

to sink down.

- How deep are they? - Paul: Half a metre.

We just have to carry on taking these things off, right?

♪ ♪

Dick: It's taken the best part of ten years to turn the terrace

into a fantasy wedding venue, and just over six hours for Paul

and Grant to turn it into a building site.

[drilling]

There's nothing you can't solve with a sledgehammer, eh?

Dick: Paul's convinced the leak is coming from a pipe that

connects the pool to the pump, but that's buried under 18

inches of clay.

Paul: Get the dog, shouldn't we?

They're good at helping digging.

♪ ♪

I don't see any obvious.

I'll put the pool pump on, create more pressure in that

circuit, and we can see if it's dripping out then.

Dick: It's possible that by increasing the pressure in the

pump, water will be forced out of the leak revealing where it

is.

Paul: What do you think?

- Is it leaking? - Grant: Not yet.

Paul: It's as dry as a bone.

Dick: But running the pump has revealed why the pool level has

been falling.

There isn't a leak after all.

Some equipment in the pool house was draining a bit of water out

of the pool when we didn't notice.

Dick: Now they can get on with fixing the dangerous subsiding

decking.

And Paul has a solution for that.

We have lots of wood we've used in other projects, so we're

using some oak and Douglas pine.

Wood that's not gonna rot.

♪ ♪

Grant: Going straight?

Paul: Yeah, that's pretty good, isn't it?

It's good as new.

♪ ♪

Dick: So that's the edging done.

Just another 75 boards to put back.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

♪ ♪

Dick: Back north in the Pas-de-Calais, at Nicole and

Stephan's dream chateau, they're turning their attention to their

crumbling tower--the only surviving, just about, feature

of the 18th century fortifications.

They aren't yet sure what they're going do with it,

but it urgently needs to be made safe.

Stephan: See, that's actually the entire roof that's collapsed

on this floor.

You see the rafters of the roof lying there and all the bricks.

Dick: All that fallen debris, plus years of weed, need to be

cleared off the internal beams so Stephan can make the tower

more stable.

[chainsaw revving]

Dick: As they work down the tower, more problems crop up.

Some of the wooden joists are rotten and need to be removed.

I'd like to keep this one intact.

And as soon as possible, replace the holes with new ones.

♪ ♪

Dick: After four-hours' graft, Stephan's still got a lot to do

just to make this thing safe, but designer Nicole is way ahead

of him.

Yeah.

Maybe we just make this like a little extra space?

Maybe we have a rectangular table in here.

So when are we going to aim to do this by?

We have to do this by August as well, do we?

We can have like a really lovely old chandelier hanging down

there.

We've got--can you get electrics to here?

- I am speechless. - [chuckles]

Nicole: Can you do it with a glass roof?

- [Stephan chuckles] - Nicole: So we can--

Absolutely [bleep].

Yes, we will do that, definitely.

It's done.

Just come back in August; it'll be finished.

[laughing] I'm actually being serious.

- It would look amazing. - I'm very serious actually.

It would look amazing, but I think there's no way that that's

ever going to happen.

[Nicole chuckles]

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Dick: When it comes to interior design, I get the impression

Nicole doesn't joke.

Back inside, she's been work on replicating the 18th century

wallpaper to use in the tearoom.

♪ ♪

What we've decided to do is to see if we can create our own

version of this wallpaper.

♪ ♪

Nicole: So, what would be nice is to have some areas more faded

than others so that it looks perhaps like it's been there for

a very long time.

♪ ♪

Dick: With a bespoke wallpaper design complete with aged

effect, it's at least one job less.

Nicole: You've done it there.

That's better.

Dick: But they only have three months to get the tearoom ready

for the summer season, and the floor is currently an unseemly

mix of unfinished concrete and replica tiles.

This needs replacing and could take weeks.

To save time, Stephan's come up with a shortcut: installing a

modern resin flooring.

Stephan: This is the idea I would like to achieve over here

in the castle.

We just put a nice coat of resin over the existing concrete.

It's easy to install; it's quickly done.

It just dries and it's finished.

♪ ♪

Dick: Typically found in airports and hospitals, I have

to say it's a bold choice for an 18th century castle.

Stephan: I think it's just gonna look brilliant because it's

gonna be so modern in such an old place.

♪ ♪

Nicole: Come on in, David.

Dick: This morning they're meeting David--a resin flooring

specialist from London.

You've got quite a task on your hands, haven't you?

Nicole: We talked about having a resin floor.

Ah, so it's been designed to replace vinyl, if you like.

So, it's like a liquid vinyl.

It has flexibility to it.

Dick: The aim is to create a seamless floor throughout the

tearoom.

They just need to decide on the colour.

Nicole: That colour works really nicely.

It looks like it's perfect.

I think it looks fab, all of that together.

They do look good.

And that's quite a find, isn't it, really?

Such a find.

[birds chirping]

Dick: David leaves with instructions for Nicole and

Stephan to check if there is solid concrete beneath the old

tiles, as resin flooring must be laid on a dry, solid base.

- Nicole: It's just earth. - Stephan: Very peculiar.

♪ ♪

Dick: It's bad news.

With no concrete base, their plan for the tearoom floor is in

tatters.

The thing is that in order to put the resin floor down, it has

to be free of moisture below it.

Otherwise, it can bubble.

What we've discovered is all this kind of clay-like

substance, sand, that's got a very high-moisture content.

It's kind of a nightmare.

Dick: It's a blow to their hopes of opening the tearoom on time

and starting to bring in some much-needed cash.

[birds chirping]

♪ ♪

Dick: Down in the south of France, things are looking much

brighter for Paul.

The swimming pool and decking are all fixed.

He can now return to the love of his life.

[rattling]

Paul: That shouldn't be rattling.

Dick: He found it in the chateau when he first moved in.

It's an S2200, so it'll be interesting to see what year

that's from.

Crikey, it's from 1961.

So, it'll be great if I can get that going.

♪ ♪

Dick: My guess is the warranty has expired, but Paul's eager to

try and get it running again and tour the French countryside at a

heady 20 kilometres per hour.

Paul: No weights on it.

There's no spark or there's no petrol.

Dick: He's a novice at swimming pool maintenance, but he's got

years of experience with engines.

Paul: My next-door neighbour, his dad ran a garage.

I used to play around and tinker with motorbikes and cars.

Let's try.

Dick: Paul hasn't seen his wife Alison for three weeks.

Paul: I'm going to get it going now.

Dick: She's been working in Australia, earning money to help

cover the chateau's running costs, and today she's come

home.

Alison [shouting]: Paul?

Paul?

Paul?

Where is he?

♪ ♪

Dick: It looks to me like he's off to get some baguettes.

♪ ♪

[engine rumbling]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: Next time:

There are shocks in store at Paul and Alison's as they

renovate their dungeon.

Man 1: Think about it.

Man 2: Oh yeah, we'll think about it, yeah.

Dick: Tim and Margreeth may have bitten off more than they can

chew with a full chateau of guests.

We've got 14 people coming in to have 28 fried eggs.

Panicking.

♪ ♪

Dick: And Angel has a surprise for Nicole.

Ta-da.

There you go.

You have been knighted [laughs].

Brilliant!

This is so cool.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪