Original subtitles

♪ ♪

This is me, Dick Strawbridge, my wife Angel, and our two children

in our glorious French chateau.

We haven't ever regretted what we've done.

It is so worth it.

We moved here three years ago to follow our dream of living life

in our very own castle.

[laughter]

Oh my God!

But it's not been easy--

I think I'm a bit too old for this.

--as dozens of other Brits know only too well.

[clattering]

Oops.

Floor needs replacing as well.

[laughing]

Dick: Because it turns out, we're not the only expats who

have bought a French chateau.

Wow!

Absolutely love it!

25-year-old Bordeaux!

Motherlode!

Dick: In this series, we'll reveal how we're running our

chateau as a business.

There's not a thing about making sausages that I don't find

humorous.

Angel: I'm still finding things that I haven't seen.

Dick: And see how these daring Brits are running theirs.

Here's to the meeting of two like-minded couples.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

Dick: As they face the ups--

It's really beautiful.

This is a rare moment but I am genuinely at peace.

Dick:--and downs.

Um, it's a lot worse than it looks.

Dick:--of their new lives in these crumbling and magnificent

buildings.

It is a bit of a fancy, living in a French chateau.

We might have a few problems on the way but that's part of life,

isn't it?

Yeah.

[laughter]

♪ ♪

Dick: Today: I receive an SOS from some chateau neighbours.

Dick: How are we doing?

Lovely to meet you.

Dick: And wind up with a serious challenge on my hands.

Are you ready?

This isn't going to work, is it?

Dick: Out in the woods, the hunt is on for some unwanted

visitors.

We've really got to keep away from them 'cause they're quite

dangerous.

Dick: The heat is on for one chateau owner.

I don't think I could be hotter.

[scraping]

Dick: While the pressure is on another to keep up with his

rivals.

There's a lot of competition out there.

We're right in the middle of some of France's top

restaurants.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: Chateau de la Basmaignée in the Pays de la Loire was

bought just six months ago by Brit builder Billy and his

French fiancée, Gwendoline.

Why did we buy a chateau, Gwendoline?

[laughing]

'Cause we're mad as hell.

Yeah, maybe we're a bit mad.

Yeah, we fell in love with it, didn't we?

We did.

Dick: With help from Billy's older brother Michael,

this couple are working hard to restore it and turn it into an

upmarket bed and breakfast and wedding venue.

It's up to us to sort of, you know--our generation to sort of

take on places like this and have an interest in restoring

them and you know, protecting them for the future.

♪ ♪

Dick: And they've already had one set of paying customers,

a hen party who spent a long weekend at the guest house.

[talking in French]

[screaming]

♪ ♪

Dick: Their chateau is just 30 miles from ours in northwest

France.

♪ ♪

Dick: So when Billy asked for some help with something,

I was only too pleased to make the short trip.

Billy's been in touch.

He wants a hand with his lighting.

In theory, that's nice and easy.

I've got an electrical engineering background.

That's okay but it's a chateau.

[laughing]

The cables are never where you want them.

You have to put them somewhere else and getting from A to B is

difficult, never mind the height of the ceilings.

So, it's a challenge.

♪ ♪

Dick: He hasn't told me what type of lighting he needs help

with.

Something tells me there's a reason he didn't divulge that

information.

Here we go.

Quite lovely.

That is actually very special.

♪ ♪

Dick: Angela will like the gates.

It's hard to believe this place is owned by a couple in

their 20s.

♪ ♪

Dick: How are we doing?

Lovely to meet you.

Nice meeting you.

Lovely to meet you.

I'm Billy.

- It's huge! - Mm.

But because of the stone, looks in really good nick.

Billy: Yeah, we're quite liking that.

It's really, really solid, isn't it?

Gwendoline: Yeah.

You have got a project of epic proportions.

Yeah.

How far are you inside?

Um, ground floor.

Looks all right, looks really nice and tidy and clean.

- Roof? - Yeah, not too bad.

Gwendoline: There was a few leaks when we got here.

Billy: I've done a few but--

What do you mean, "I've done a few?"

I've done a few.

[laughing]

I've got up there?

How?

Do you go up with a roof ladder with little windows and things?

No, I'm lucky I've got a cherry picker.

[laughing]

Sorry, sorry.

"I've got a cherry picker."

[laughter]

♪ ♪

Dick: Okay, now I'm jealous.

Where did you get a cherry picker from?

We got it locally, didn't we?

Yeah, just second hand.

Yeah, it's a bit--bit rusty but it does the job.

♪ ♪

Dick: Billy just became my new best friend.

Next time I need a cherry picker, I know exactly who to

call.

♪ ♪

Dick: Are you guarding the house?

Gwendoline: He is.

Scared of dogs.

No, I'm not!

[Billy laughing]

Dick: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

This is done!

This place is done up!

[Gwendoline laughing]

Dick: You had this--family.

Yeah--no these are just paintings that we saw in the

store and managed to source quite cheaply.

Dick: Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Go and stand over by that picture.

Go on.

[laughter]

Dick: Look at the hand.

He does the hands automatically.

Gwendoline: Yeah.

Yeah, that could be great-nan.

- Great-great-great-nan. - Yeah.

It's the bloodline.

I can see it.

♪ ♪

[laughter]

Dick: Considering they've only been here four months,

this place is in pretty good nick.

Not only has Billy patched up the leaking roof, mended the

chimney, and fitted a new kitchen, it's also been freshly

decorated.

- Electricity. - Gwendoline: Yes.

Dick: Sockets, I assume?

Next thing you'll be telling me you have broadband.

[laughter]

- We have. - You what?

[laughter]

Dick: And they've clearly inherited some stunning period

features.

♪ ♪

That fireplace is phenomenal!

Gwendoline: It is.

It's very grand, isn't it?

Billy: It is.

That is very, very special.

You do seem to have a lot of collections of things that fit

in the chateau.

Billy: Yeah, yeah.

We've been collecting furniture for about three years now.

Yeah.

We wanted a project like this but not as big.

[Dick laughing]

But somehow we were buying the furniture and we had so much and

then we saw this place and we just fell in love with it.

Gwendoline: Yeah.

Dick: The size of this place is phenomenal.

And everywhere I look, I think I'm seeing chandeliers.

Gwendoline: Yes, you are.

Billy: There is a bit of a thing going on there, isn't there?

[laughing]

Gwendoline: Yeah.

Dick: A bit of a thing.

You can't move for chandeliers in this place.

♪ ♪

Dick: How many?

[Billy laughing]

Dick: That's one hanging.

There's another one over there and this one too.

You've got a spare there.

One, two, three...

Four, five!

You've got five chandeliers in this room alone.

What's it like living with a man with a sort of chandelier

fetish?

Well, it's good because you get nice chandeliers everywhere.

But then well, it's expensive.

It's an expensive hobby.

Every room downstairs that you want to have a chandelier has

got one.

And you've got spares.

Not at the moment.

That's why you're here.

Dick: I knew you said lights but I haven't seen a single space

for a chandelier.

On the staircase.

Dick: Oh, that's really easy.

[laughter]

♪ ♪

Dick: No wonder he never mentioned the chandelier on the

phone.

This is going to be a bit harder than screwing in a light bulb.

It looks quite substantial.

It's not going to be light.

Yeah, it probably weighs like the same as a bag of cement or

something.

♪ ♪

Dick: That's about 20 kilos of chandelier.

This should be fun.

Did you ever see the Only Fools and Horses sketch?

I have, yeah.

I'm practising my lines.

[laughter]

Billy: Come on, Grandad.

Dick: Oh!

Oh, now you're really looking for trouble!

[laughter]

Dick: Yeah, the abuse is only just started.

[laughter]

Dick: But seriously, I'd say I've got a job on my hands here.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: 120 miles south, Chateau La Perrière is a twin-towered

pride and joy of designers Paul and Karen Horne--

Paul: That is the plaster, isn't it?

Dick:--who spent the last 12 years renovating it in hope of

turning it into a profitable business.

Karen: We came here and we both fell in love with it.

It is a place to dream and it's a place where you're building

memories.

Dick: The chateau sits deep in the heart of the picturesque

Loire Valley.

But since they've been here, Paul and Karen have seen their

renovation costs spiral.

The Perrière is a bit of a fruit machine, really, isn't it?

The money goes in at the top but it doesn't come out at the

bottom.

[laughter]

One day it will come out of the bottom as well.

You never know.

♪ ♪

Dick: It's rented out as a luxury holiday home for the bulk

of the year.

♪ ♪

Dick: But in the Loire Valley, competition between holiday

homes is particularly fierce.

Their new scheme to appeal to wealthy guests is transforming

this old water tower into a luxury office.

The view is just fantastic.

There could be worse places to work.

It's nice to be able to offer to guests the ability to be able to

come on holiday with their family but still be able to have

a professional working environment.

♪ ♪

Dick: The Hornes are only visiting the chateau for a few

days to continue the renovation.

Before they leave, Karen also has a project she'd like to

finish and an original feature preserved in one of the

chateau's other bedrooms has given her the perfect

inspiration.

So we've got an original Toile de Jouy fabric wall covering

that was here when the chateau was originally built.

♪ ♪

I'm looking to use this technique in the bedroom

downstairs.

I'm using our chateau as the main scene on the wall covering.

♪ ♪

Dick: Karen wants to make her traditional wall cloth from

scratch.

This morning, she's hoping to source the fabric from the

antiques market in nearby Chinon.

Paul: There's the Burgundy chairs on the left.

♪ ♪

This is actually--that's a nice chair, actually.

What do you think?

Do you think they'll do delivery?

Paul: That's a great size for the bedroom.

Ah, that's not nice.

♪ ♪

Dick: Karen tries to barter for some fabric she's found--

Dick:--and fails miserably.

I tried.

I tried.

[laughter]

I'm going to buy it anyway.

Merci.

She wasn't having any of it.

See if you can do better on the next one.

Oh, and I bought some trim.

You're not excited, are you?

I'm not a fabric man, you know that.

Karen: No, no.

But I like the result but I'm not a fabric man.

Karen: It's a bit like talking bikes to me really, isn't it?

It is.

Is there a bike shop?

- No. - Okay.

♪ ♪

Dick: But a few minutes later, Karen thinks she's found an even

better piece of fabric.

They would be beautiful for printing on.

But it is 30 euros so it's quite expensive, I feel.

Paul: Elle aime fabrique, le linen?

C'est possible--

Bon prix?

- Vingt? - Oui.

- Oui, ça marche. - Parfait.

Perfect, lovely.

Dick: Karen's bought three metres of 200-year-old fabric

for just over £17.

£10 off the asking price.

I'm really happy with that.

- Merci, Monsieur. - Merci.

C'est bon.

I got a bargain.

- Au revoir, merci. - Merci.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: Back at the chateau, Paul's facing a big problem with

the stonework supporting the water tower.

It's crumbling and must be patched up before any other work

can take place.

We've gotta use a lime render, which is a specific kind of

render that you've got to use with the tufa stone, otherwise

it dissolves the stone.

Dick: Tomorrow's scaffolding is going up over the entire tower

so work on the office can begin.

And we've got the platform being built so I've gotta finish it

today so we've got about three hours to learn how to do it and

do it.

We've brought in specifically some lime mortar and what I was

hoping, which is really kind of silly, bearing in mind we're in

France, is that the instructions would be in English and French.

I'm not quite sure why I thought that 'cause if we bought it in

England, they wouldn't be.

Dick: To finish the office by the end of the summer,

there's not a day to spare.

And the family needs to be out of the chateau tomorrow as their

next guests are arriving.

♪ ♪

Dick: So the pressure is on for Paul.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: I've come 30 miles down the road to Chateau de la

Basmaignée to see Billy and Gwen.

They've asked me to help hang a 20-kilo chandelier above the

staircase.

Right, so this is where I want it.

Dick: Of course it is.

Billy: Right up there.

Dick: So it's going to be quite high.

Billy: Uh hmm.

Um, what's above this?

Um, there is an empty bedroom.

I think we're going to have to go and have a look at the

floorboards in there.

Dick: On the plus side, a light fitting has been hung from this

point before.

But when it was last used is anyone's guess.

You got cable there.

Electrics.

So there's a route up there.

There's access.

Dick: There must be a way of coming from the top down.

Billy: Uh hmm.

Dick: I just hope we don't rip half the ceiling down in the

process.

One very important thing is, are you sure you want the big

chandelier?

- Definitely, yes. - Okay.

[laughter]

Had to ask.

It was worth asking.

♪ ♪

[laughter]

Dick: I'm too old for this.

Fortunately, I've got some tools outside in the car that should

make our life easier.

♪ ♪

Dick: That's the hardest light to fix in the chateau.

It's the chandelier on the highest point.

It's actually quite physical just to take a 20-kilogram

chandelier and stick it that high.

It's going to take a bit of work so I brought some pulleys and

things.

We'll see, we'll see.

♪ ♪

Dick: Our plan is to go up into the empty bedroom above the

staircase.

Reminds me of home.

Dick: And look for the point in the floor that the old light

fitting was hung from.

The centre of the room is obvious this way.

Okay, then we look down.

There's been some cutting done.

The cutting is neatly done.

Yeah.

It's not a bad job at all.

And we're going to go in and see what we find.

[laughter]

Dick: With a bit of luck, underneath here, there will be a

chandelier hook--

Billy: Yeah.

--of big solid construction on a beam that allows you to hook

your chandelier on.

Yeah.

Dick: Right.

♪ ♪

Dick: We're in luck.

Not only do we have a hole but the old fitting is still wired

up to the mains.

- Make sure this is off. - Yeah.

- It should be off. - Yeah.

Billy: I'll go and isolate it.

Right.

As long as it's not on, we'll put our cable through there,

which is our chandelier-supported cable.

Billy: Yes.

We'll attach the chandelier and then we'll get the chandelier

upstairs.

Yeah.

This is actually better than I thought.

♪ ♪

Dick: The cable I got with me can take 95 kilos so it should

be more than enough to take the strain of Billy's chandelier.

Should we use this through the hole, up and down and pull it?

Let's have a vote in the plan.

The dog agrees with me so that's how it's done.

[Billy laughing]

It'll work.

- You happy with that? - Definitely, perfect.

Dick: I'll be using a small hand winch, supported by this trestle

to winch the chandelier up into position.

♪ ♪

[cranking]

Dick: Okay, that's coming up.

The only problem we've got is that an old light bulb is

still attached to the wiring.

This is the bulb.

The hole is too small to pull it through and disconnect it.

So I'm simply going to have to snip it off and Billy will have

to catch it downstairs.

♪ ♪

Dick: What could possibly go wrong?

Are you ready?

This isn't going to work, is it?

Billy?

I can see it landing on my face, somehow.

Billy!

Billy!

I'm never going to catch this.

One...two...three.

Dick: I hope Billy's a good catch.

♪ ♪

Dick: 35 miles west of Dijon, L'Abbaye de la Bussière is a

former Roman Catholic Abbaye turned luxury hotel.

It's owned by English couple Clive and Tanith Cummings.

They're running it as a high-end hotel and this year, they've

been working hard to get more locals dining in their

restaurant.

We do put a lot of pressure on ourselves at times.

Sometimes you know, you think, "Am I pushing too hard?"

But you've gotta keep that momentum going in all

departments.

♪ ♪

[speaking in French]

Dick: The Abbaye's Michelin-starred restaurant is

run by head chef Guillaume.

He's a local man.

He's had experience from one, two, and three Michelin-starred

restaurants and he wants to make a name for himself now and his

own menu.

♪ ♪

Dick: Today, Guillaume and Clive are looking at ways they can

freshen up the dinner menu.

We're in the heart of Burgundy and Burgundy is very famous in

France for being the heart of gastronomy so there's a lot of

competition out there.

We're right in the middle of some of France's top

restaurants.

Two Michelin stars, three Michelin stars.

Although we've got the building and we've got the gardens,

you can't just sit back on that.

You've goto ensure that you've got something else to sell.

♪ ♪

Dick: Guillaume's got a plan to make his menu stand out from the

crowd.

D'accord.

Okay.

♪ ♪

Rather than just having just a normal menu, we're trying to

highlight very local ingredients.

♪ ♪

Dick: In fact, Guillaume wants as many of his ingredients as

possible to be sourced right here at the Abbaye.

What we would like to do is to make a--one dish served at lunch

and then one at dinner where 100% of that dish is grown here

on-site.

Dick: Tonight, Guillaume's invited two of his regular

diners to come and sample some of his brand-new dishes.

But he's not entirely sure what's currently growing so he

and Clive have come to see gardener, Rafael.

We're doing courgette here, Raf?

Courgette here, courgette here, little bit.

- With beans? - Yeah, beans.

We've got beans and we've got carrots as well.

Uh, we've got absolute bucket loads of mint.

Radishes as well.

♪ ♪

Dick: Rafael also keeps bees.

These three hives produce about 100 kilos of honey a year for

the restaurant.

♪ ♪

Dick: And Clive spotted something else in the grounds

too.

♪ ♪

Clive: I was cutting the grass only last week and I noticed

that under one of my trees, I've got lots of wild strawberries.

Look at this, look.

All the strawberries.

Look at them all.

♪ ♪

Dick: These wild strawberries, together with a handful of wild

herbs from the garden--

Dick:--are going straight back to the kitchen.

All Guillaume has to do now is come up with a new dish.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: I've been at Chateau de la Basmaignée, helping Billy and

Gwen hang a chandelier.

One...two...three.

But when I dropped the ball, I wasn't entirely sure

if Billy was ready.

Whoa!

Caught it!

[laughter]

I have no idea what happened.

I have no idea what happened!

- Did you catch it? - I did.

What a smarty pants.

Well done, matey.

[laughter]

All right, then.

Success at the first stage.

All we have to do now is attach the chandelier and hoist it

into position.

♪ ♪

It's a long way.

Makes me a bit nervous because well, if it falls, it breaks.

And it's not exactly as if we can go to the shop and buy

another one, is it?

So...

Dick: I've run the cable through the hole in the ceiling 30-feet

down to the waiting chandelier.

Okay.

To minimize the distance I have to winch this thing up,

we're bringing it up to the first landing.

♪ ♪

Dick: Now this is a bit silly.

[Billy laughing]

Dick: Whoever heard of taking a trolley with a chandelier up a

stair?

[Billy laughing]

Perfect.

You are going to guide it down when the tension is on.

Gwendoline, you are actually communications.

All right.

So if we need to stop, you have to shout because if not, we just

keep going and it'll all break and it will be your fault.

All right.

[laughter]

All I have to do is go upstairs and turn a handle.

Good luck, team!

Billy: Thanks.

Dick: Go for it.

♪ ♪

Dick: With Gwendoline at the window, there's now a direct

line of communication between Billy and I.

How we doing?

- Good. - Good!

Tell me when to start.

Gwen: Keep going!

[cranking]

Keep going!

[cranking]

Dick: But I'm still working pretty much blind.

This isn't nice, I have no idea what's going on but I can

feel the weight of the chandelier or the

chandelier and Billy.

I have no idea.

[cranking]

It's got the weight of it now.

Dick: That's the cable come through.

Right.

That's your lowest position!

Yeah, so up higher.

- Dick: Say again? - Yeah, higher, higher.

- How much higher? - Billy: Um, about a metre.

About a metre.

Billy and Gwendoline: Yes.

Dick: I guess I'm up for it.

[cranking]

Billy: That's perfect, I think.

Gwendoline: Perfect!

♪ ♪

I heard "perfect."

You sure?

Billy: That's perfect, that's good.

- That's good! - Brilliant!

Dick: All I have to do now is connect it to the mains.

It looks good from here.

Looks beautiful.

I can't wait to see it.

- Lit up. - Yeah, lit up.

Dick: After all that, I just hope the thing works.

I give you the biggest chandelier in the worst place in

your chateau.

Whoa!

[applause]

Dick: I gotta tell you, nice soft light.

- Nice soft light. - Billy: It is, yeah.

- Well done, matey. - Thanks a lot.

How many more are you going to hang up?

All the bedrooms?

They're easy.

Dick: How many bedrooms?

20.

Dick: 19 more to buy!

[laughter]

Oh, how happy is Billy?

[laughter]

I'm busy, just so you know.

♪ ♪

Dick: I'm only kidding.

If he lets me borrow his cherry picker--

Thank you so much!

Dick:--I'll consider giving him a hand with the rest.

Oh, it's amazing.

It's finally--it finally looks as it should look.

I love it.

You've done a very good job there, darling.

You're welcome.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: Back in the Loire Valley, at Chateau la Perrière,

novice builder Paul has just a day to finish work on the

chateau's water tower.

♪ ♪

Dick: He's hoping to repair the crumbling stone work with a

traditional lime mortar mix.

But some of the ingredients are rather dangerous.

The lime is an acid so I think it settles down once you've

mixed it but while you're mixing it, it becomes quite a toxic

acid.

Although what I am seeing is also the amount of protective

head gear and glasses and gloves.

Judging from that, we might need to tog up a little bit more than

if we were doing a bit of cement mix.

♪ ♪

Dick: To stay safe, Paul's decided to wear full protective

gear, including a respirator.

I think it's probably a sensible thing to do.

Dick: But unfortunately for him, it's the hottest day of the

year.

Paul: I'm really glad we chose 30-degree afternoon to do it.

It has to be done.

Just going to have to get on.

It really is a boiler suit today.

Dick: He's got no choice but to use this lime mixture as modern

cement will damage the water tower's delicate soft

stonework.

It's early days but so far so good.

We haven't got any big things of mortar or anything so the

mixing's going quite well.

And then I've got 20 minutes to watch you all go around for a

while and we can go and do some actual proper work and go and

get the render.

And then I can take this mask off as well, which is very, very

hot.

♪ ♪

Dick: Paul chips away the old crumbling render, ready for his

new coat.

We're going to try and neaten off all this render and make it

look like a really nice Loire stone.

It's typical of the Loire Valley, really.

Well, when it's done properly, it's typical of the Loire

Valley.

We'll see what it's like when I finished it.

Hopefully mine won't come off quite as easily when I've done

it.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: Inside, Paul's wife Karen is making progress with her plan

to add a layer of luxury to the chateau's master bedroom.

Karen: Love that sand.

Dick: And putting her recently acquired screen printing skills

to the test.

♪ ♪

Karen: Wow.

We're printing the Toile de Jouy fabric, the Chateau la Perrière

version, onto the brocante fabric that we've bought.

♪ ♪

Dick: If all goes to plan, this printed cloth will be used to

cover the master bedroom wall in the classic 19th century style.

So the pictures on the fabric are all the things we love about

the chateau.

The turrets, the sign at the beginning of the road...

And the butterflies.

- And how does it look? - It looks fabulous!

♪ ♪

Dick: As Karen immortalizes the chateau, back outside,

Paul's not faring quite so well.

Ah, never had so much dust.

And grime.

♪ ♪

The hottest day of the year so far.

I think it's going up to 33 degrees and I want to be in

the pool in an hour so let's get cracking.

Dick: Paul's stonework repair is vital if work on the new

office is to stay on schedule.

Paul: The moment of truth.

Let's see how we get on.

First bit's going to be the interesting bit.

Have we got it right?

[scraping]

Dick: The mortar's not falling off the wall but the soaring

temperature is causing another problem.

It's supposed to have cooled down by now, which would help to

keep my render the same consistency at the end as it is

now.

It must be what, half past 6 and it's still incredibly hot.

I think I'm one of the hottest I've ever been.

Dick: Paul needs to wrap this job up soon before the mortar

dries out or he collapses from the heat.

♪ ♪

[exhales]

It's hot.

I'm expiring here.

I don't think I could be hotter.

[scraping]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: 150 miles north at Chateau de la Basmaignée, Billy,

Gwendoline, and Michael have spent the past six months,

making the chateau livable and getting the heating up and

running.

♪ ♪

Dick: But they've just discovered the neighbours are

unhappy about something.

Farmers are all complaining locally because the wild boar

are destroying their crops.

Unfortunately, we've got a large plot of land here and we're

probably responsible to not have them in the forest, you know.

Dick: Wild boar have become a menace in France over the past

decade.

They cause about £45 million worth of damage to farmers'

crops every year.

And if they've taken up residence in the woods here,

it's little wonder the neighbouring farmers are

worried.

The forest is completely surrounded by farmland and that

is where they live, we think, in the forest.

So we need to find out if they're in the forest and if we

can find they're there, maybe we can do something about it.

♪ ♪

Dick: The ultimate plan will be to drive the boar back into the

larger forest of Mayenne, five miles away, and far from the

farmers' crops.

Wild boar are incredibly shy creatures and because they're

largely nocturnal, neither Billy, Gwen, nor Michael have

actually seen one here.

This is getting exciting.

[laughter]

Put her there a minute and then she'll take the steering wheel.

[laughter]

♪ ♪

Dick: In a bid to see if there are any boar on their land,

Billy set up a motion sensor camera two days ago and now he's

off to collect it.

Billy: Here we are.

This is where I put the camera.

Michael: Ah, brilliant.

Right, let's have a look.

There you go.

Dick: If wild boar have been roaming around this part of the

woods, they should have set it off.

Let's go and see if there's any footage on this thing.

All right, then.

♪ ♪

Well, there's quite a lot of videos.

Oh.

What are they?

Are they horses?

Dick: Either those are very big boar or Billy's horses have

escaped.

Let me just see if our horses are still there.

♪ ♪

It seems that our horses that were in the field or meant to be

in the field were in the forest last night.

Yeah, the horses are still there so they must have escaped last

night and sort of done a bit of wandering in the night.

Well, that's very interesting, isn't it?

What horses get up to when you're not looking.

[laughing]

Dick: But the horses aren't the only creature caught on camera

last night.

Michael: What's that?

That's a fox, isn't it?

Michael: It's got a limp, isn't it?

It's not a very healthy fox.

Billy: That's a very unhealthy fox.

♪ ♪

- There's a stag. - It's a stag.

It's got antlers on it.

- Massive. - Wow.

Bit of a wildlife hot spot that area, isn't it?

Yeah.

- But no boar. - Not yet anyway.

Dick: Time to place the camera in a different corner of the

woods.

Dick: And Billy thinks he knows just the place.

Pigs, they love rolling in mud to get rid of ticks and lice and

things like that so this is probably definitely the best

spot.

♪ ♪

Dick: Whilst they await their next batch of footage,

Michael's itching to get started on a restoration job at the

chateau's chapel.

We really need to have a look at this stained glass window.

It's literally about to collapse.

It's about to fall out of the window frame.

And if we don't save it, we're going to lose the window.

It's very fragile.

There's lots and lots of pieces of glass that make it up and you

know, if we don't save it, the chapel is going to lose one of

its nice features.

♪ ♪

Dick: The stained glass has been here since the chapel was built

150 years ago.

Michael: So we need to be really delicate with this.

Whoa.

It's really, really fragile at the moment.

These pieces are really loose.

I mean, I'm really worried that when we try and move it, it's

going to collapse.

So we need to be very, very careful with this.

- Right, Billy. - Yeah.

Are you supporting it?

Yeah, you just sort of edge it slightly.

Mainly from the top at first.

Careful.

'Cause it's actually embedded in the concrete.

Right, have you got the weight of it here?

Yeah.

Oh.

Dick: Billy and Michael have a delicate job on their hands,

getting the window out safely.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: 350 miles away, at Abbaye de la Bussière, Clive has a

challenge on his hands: To work with chef Guillaume to devise a

new dish using fresh produce from the Abbaye's grounds.

Oh, ça sent bon.

Très bien.

Clive: Lovely, very nice.

Don't want to eat too much of them 'cause there's not a lot.

I'd rather sell than eat them.

Dick: Out in the restaurant, tonight's guinea pigs are Brits,

Laura and Simon.

Merci.

They've been living in this part of France for nearly 20 years

and are regular diners here.

Laura: Merci.

Dick: To go with the vegetables, herbs, and flowers picked from

the Abbaye, Guillaume's serving them local goats' cheese,

followed by smoked duck from the neighbouring farm.

Merci.

Merci.

- Where to start. - That's fantastic.

If I can grow that sort of thing in my garden, I'd be very happy.

Just imagine a chef out there in the morning, foraging for his--

Stripped to his waist, naked.

Yeah.

Laura: In the garden.

Delicious.

♪ ♪

Dick: So far so good.

Back in the kitchen, dessert is nearly ready.

♪ ♪

Those little white strawberries that we saw in the garden,

that's what's going on the plate here.

♪ ♪

S'il vous plaît, service.

Laura: Merci.

They're beautiful.

♪ ♪

Dick: The dinner's been a hit.

But Clive's not resting on his laurels and is already plotting

his next culinary adventure.

Tomorrow night, we've got 50 live trout going into our little

basin outside so not quite sure what our guests will think when

they see a chef with a fishing net taking the trout out.

Maybe we can do a pick your own.

Yeah, that would be quite fun, wouldn't it?

[laughter]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: At Chateau de la Basmaignée, Billy and Michael

are still struggling with a 150-year-old stained glass

window that Michael wants to repair.

♪ ♪

Okay yeah, I've got it.

Right well, the middle part doesn't look too bad.

It just seems to be the top and round the bottom and round the

edges.

Billy: Yeah.

Michael: You can see the joins and the soldering.

Well, success.

We've got the window out.

Um, but that was the easy part because now I've gotta repair

it.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: With the glass safely transported to the chateau's

grand salon, Michael's figured out exactly what he needs to do

to bring it back to life.

Right, so the first piece I need to re-create is this piece.

So I mean, this piece would normally go here, here, here,

and here.

So I need to make three of these.

So I'm going to have a go at scoring it and see if I can make

a few more.

♪ ♪

Dick: Stained glass windows are an ancient art form and

repairing and restoring them usually requires the skills of a

highly qualified craftsman.

Dick: Michael hasn't studied any art at all since A level.

I've never cut glass before.

Certainly never, you know, attempted to repair a stained

glass window but I've watched a few videos on the Internet and

I've got the basic idea of how it works so just going to have a

go at cutting some pieces of glass.

[cutting]

Dick: Naughty, naughty, Michael.

Where's your protective eyewear?

What I need to do now is try and break this as cleanly as

possible.

[cracking]

Oh, okay.

[cracking]

That wasn't too bad, actually.

So right now, is the last break.

It's this line here.

The difficult thing is to try and break this piece from here

without snapping this piece.

Here goes.

I really don't want to do this.

I'm really scared it's going to break.

Dick: If he carries on like this, Michael's in danger of

losing his fingers.

♪ ♪

[crack]

Michael: Oh, that's not too bad, is it?

That's a really, really good result.

I'm really surprised with that.

Um, I didn't think it would be as easy as that but it's gone

really well.

I mean, if you put that piece next to that piece, it is almost

the same.

Dick: Good work!

Traditionally, the glass on a stained glass window would have

been coloured whilst it was still in its molten state by

adding metallic powders to the mix.

♪ ♪

Dick: But Michael's decided a quick lick of paint will do the

job just fine.

I mean, I think it gives a similar effect.

The main thing is that it has been repaired and it is still,

you know, a stained glass window that could be, you know,

enjoyed.

♪ ♪

Dick: The last stage is gently baking the glass in the oven to

preserve the coat of paint.

Once I bake them, I can cut some more pieces.

Once I've got all the pieces of glass, I can then have a go at

putting them together.

♪ ♪

Dick: Billy's motion-sensor camera has been keeping watch

over a swampy area in the woods for the past two days.

♪ ♪

Dick: He's looking for evidence of wild boar here, as local

farmers have complained that boar have been destroying their

crops.

♪ ♪

[rustling]

What was that?

[laughing]

Dick: It looks like Billy's persistence has paid off.

Billy: We've got boar.

[laughing]

We've got loads of boar.

Um, it's not good news.

It isn't.

I wonder if you can make bacon out of them.

[laughing]

♪ ♪

Dick: A man after my own heart.

- Gwendoline! - Yeah.

Billy: Come have a look at this.

My God, look at them.

Oh my God.

How many of them is there?

There's about six.

Maybe a bit more.

Gwendoline: There's loads of them.

Look at this, Michael.

Wow!

- They're in the lake. - Yeah.

Before the lake, yeah.

I think they probably like the damp ground and stuff.

Especially when it's hot.

Yeah.

Gwendoline: Didn't really expect to see so many of them.

We're going to have to do something about it.

We should probably call the gamekeeper to get him to find

a solution for us because it isn't good, is it?

Gwendoline: Yeah.

Dick: They've got to keep the neighbouring farmers happy.

I fear the gamekeeper solution will be drastic and this family

of wild boar will be gone quicker than you can say,

"bacon sandwich."

♪ ♪

Dick: 120 miles away, at Chateau la Perrière, the heat is on.

4.5 hours later and we're nearly there.

Dick: Paul's rushing to finish repairing the stonework before

the lime mortar dries out.

Paul: Put the trowel in there.

Dick: Or sun stroke sets in.

We can see the finishing line now.

And the mortar's actually proving to be the right

consistency.

[scraping]

I'm actually relatively pleased.

I think it's successful.

Done it.

Result.

Never been so happy to finish job.

I picked the hottest day.

It's been 33 degrees and there is only one thing left for it

now.

Swim and a glass of rosé.

Dick: The water tower stonework has survived for 150 years.

♪ ♪

Dick: Not only will Paul's lime mortar repair protect it for

generations to come, it's kept the office project on schedule.

Oh!

[splashing]

Dick: As Paul cools off, Karen's plan to add an authentic layer

of luxury to the chateau's master bedroom--

Neil: Keep going.

Dick:--is reaching the critical point.

Karen: Wait, I'm on the wood now.

Don't push it on the wood.

We're in the final stages now of putting the stretched fabric

that we've printed on the back of this wall.

Fingers crossed it's all going to come together and it's going

to look amazing.

[drilling]

Dick: Live-in handyman Neil is making the wooden frame for

Karen's printed fabric.

I'm going to turn the top over and then staple through.

Paul: You're not finished yet?

Down there with your shorts?

Just been by the pool.

I'm nervous that I'm going to cut the fabric--

Don't do it.

Karen:--and cut it in the wrong place.

You go in through there, Karen.

Up close and personal to my cloth.

Neil: And that wants to go right up against the ceiling, yeah?

- You need two people. - Two people.

Karen: Paul?

Neil: Stay there, Karen.

Right, Paul.

You hold that there.

- Got it? - Uh hmm.

I'm going to put one right in the middle there, yeah?

Karen: Yeah.

[staple]

Neil: Okay, you happy with that?

Karen: Yeah.

[staple]

Karen: Getting really excited now.

I am!

[laughing]

I'm just concerned this is the most excited she's been in our

bedroom for a long time.

I'm really excited!

[laughing]

[stapling]

Impressive, good job.

I think our guests are going to be quite pleased with that.

♪ ♪

Dick: It's been a good day but with a chateau, just as

something goes right, you can bet something else is about to

go wrong.

The Internet has been a struggle.

We've finally managed to get a half-decent line in here and

what we do need to do now is get it out of the chateau across to

the water tower.

Dick: You can't have an office without Internet.

Problem is, it's a mystery where the Internet cable is located.

♪ ♪

Karen: Do we know what this cable is, Neil?

Neil: Doesn't appear to go outside of the wall.

You know, I think it does but I think it's been rendered in.

Fantastic.

♪ ♪

Just what we need.

[laughing]

♪ ♪

Dick: Back at Chateau de la Basmaignée, Billy's determined

to get rid of the family of wild boar he caught on camera.

We've got a bloke coming today and he's bringing a dog and he's

going to sort of walk his dog around and it's probably a big

smelly dog that's going to leave a bit of a scent.

And hopefully it sort of deters the wild boars.

Gwendoline: Oui.

[Gwendoline laughing]

Gwendoline: D'accord.

♪ ♪

Dick: Boars hate the scent that hounds leave behind.

So Fanny's presence should be enough to drive the boar to the

bigger forest of Mayenne five miles away.

We've got to stay behind him or at least where he is but not go

in front of the dog 'cause otherwise it takes away the

smell for the dog.

She can smell some boars but nothing too fresh so far.

Dick: Wild boar aren't just a menace to farmers, there are so

many of them in France, it's estimated they're responsible

for around 25,000 car crashes a year.

Sometimes you see them on the motorway and it's really, really

dangerous.

I've seen them in the countryside as well so when

you're driving about, you sort of come across them in the

summer.

Big families of them.

Little ones and the big mother but you've really got to keep

away from them 'cause they're quite dangerous.

Dick: After 15 minutes, the signs are promising.

He showed us some tracks left by deers and he said that his dog

doesn't care about the deer smell but when she smells boars

though, she knows like, right now.

She can smell some.

Dick: Bingo.

Gwendoline: D'accord.

Gwendoline: So this is when they've been rolling.

After they come here and like rub against the trees to get rid

of all the parasites that have been left.

♪ ♪

Dick: It's a different part of the forest to where Billy caught

them on camera.

♪ ♪

Dick: Which suggests the problem is even bigger than they

thought.

♪ ♪

Dick: But after just an hour's tracking, Chantiro is satisfied

his hound scent has done the trick.

Montez.

Très bien, merci.

♪ ♪

[car starts]

Gwendoline: What they want is for the boars to go in the big

forest of Mayenne--

Yeah.

Where they've got like loads and loads of room to like be there

as boars.

Hopefully what he's done will sort the problem out but if not,

he might have to come back again.

Maybe with a bigger dog--

Gwendoline: Yeah or more dogs.

Or smellier dog.

Gwendoline: Yeah.

[laughing]

[snort]

♪ ♪

Dick: Next time: Angel helps Michael with some interior

renovations.

Michael: See that's already looking much better.

[laughter]

Angel: I've only just started.

[laughter]

Dick: While outside--

It's quite daunting.

Dick: Brother Billy and their dad struggle with a patio.

[banging]

Billy: Dad, there's nothing underneath that corner.

Dad: [inaudible]

Billy: I would have sacked him by now, if I was paying him.

♪ ♪

Dick: A troublesome wall causes a pile-up for Clive and his dad.

It's a 32-tonne truck and it's a very, very old bridge.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

That's his new lorry.

185,000 euros.

Dick: And there are little jobs--

Put that up so it stands up.

Oh.

Flatten your--

[sawing]

Dick:--and big jobs for Karen and Paul.

I suppose there's no going back now, is there?

Oh, god!

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪