Original subtitles

♪ ♪

I'm Dick Strawbridge and along with my wife Angel and our two

children, we left the U.K. for a whole new life in France

and bought this magnificent chateau.

We haven't ever regretted what we've done.

It is so worth it.

We've gradually been making it into our home,

as well as running it as a business.

[banging]

That's a long way up.

But it turns out, we're not alone, as dozens of

Brits are doing exactly the same thing.

♪ ♪

[child yelling]

Sometimes you have to pinch yourself to think,

"I own that."

Dick: In this series, Angel and I will reveal more about our

journey as chateau owners.

Quite a lot of scrap here.

It's worth money.

Might be able to pay you this time.

Dick: And guide these daring Brits where we can.

It's a solid old bridge, matey.

As they renovate--

Man: This is looking good.

I'm quite happy with this.

Dick:--repair--

I've never done this before so it should be all right.

Dick:--and struggle to transform these buildings into their homes

and businesses.

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

Absolutely magnificent!

This is the glamorous chateau life that everyone thinks I

lead.

Just trying to avoid getting my face near the toilet seat.

This is not the way to make money.

Dick: But however hard the going gets, these plucky Brits can

always say they're kings and queens of their very own

castles.

Cheers...chin chin.

♪ ♪

Dick: Today, whilst a trio of chateau rookies get their home

ready to move into--

This stuff absolutely stinks!

Dick:--one of them goes AWOL.

Michael!

Michael!

Michael!

Dick: Two chateau owners find playing Cupid--

He wants to propose to his girlfriend so he's asked us to

help him.

Dick:--is easier said than done.

I need to very discreetly get the gentleman on his own,

just because of loitering in the tent.

Dick: Things fall apart for a novice builder--

Okay, gently let it down.

[boom]

Oh!

Dick:--and whilst Angel and I go bargain hunting at a brocante--

I love it!

Dick: It's so wrong.

--Angel finds it hard to stay focused.

- What do you fancy? - You.

[laughing]

Dick: You're so full of twaddle.

Come on.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: Young chateau rookies Billy, Gwendoline, and Michael,

have taken on the challenge of restoring the 18th century

Chateau de la Basmaignée.

Gwendoline: I don't really like heights.

- Especially that high. - Yeah.

[laughing]

Dick: Situated in the Pays de la Loire region of northern France,

the beautiful but neglected chateau sits in over 60 acres of

woodland.

I never imagined I'd live in a chateau, nor be renovating one.

I like it in France.

In England, it's a bit more hectic and rush everywhere and

it's better here.

We can really enjoy yourself a little bit more.

You've got more time to do things.

♪ ♪

Dick: Over the last three months, they've got the heating

up and running.

Michael: That's it.

It's drawing.

It's not smoking at all, is it?

Dick:--started decorating--

Billy: Still got to do a second coat on all the woodwork.

Dick:--and fixed the giant chimney.

Have you managed to finish it then?

- Yeah, it's all done. - Oh, brilliant.

Dick: But now, they've just a day left to make the chateau

livable so they can move in and leave their current home,

the guest house opposite, empty for their first paying guests.

♪ ♪

Even though, you know, this guest house that we're in at the

moment is really comfortable, it's not the chateau that I

thought I'd be living in.

Dick: But before this momentous move can happen, the chateau's

kitchen must be finished.

After weeks of preparation, the final phase of the work is due

to happen today, the fitting of the handmade kitchen units.

Yeah, it's very exciting.

It's--we've been talking about that kitchen for weeks.

Billy: Kitchen is really the first step of getting the house

ready so that we can actually live in it as a home.

Dick: Having paid guests staying in the guest house will be a

vital way of raising money to pay for the restoration of the

chateau.

Bonjour, Amelie.

C'est Gwendoline au Chateau de la Basmaignée.

Dick: And their first booking is a big one.

A group of 14 girls I think, for hen night.

Quite exciting.

It's going to be the very first one and for them, it has to be

like really good as well because one of them is getting married.

It has to be an amazing weekend.

She's also pregnant so they're going to throw a baby shower for

her as well.

They're coming in this house where we live at the moment so

we need to get out of it--[laughing]--and get it

ready.

♪ ♪

Dick: They've got a mountain of stuff to move before the guests

arrive tomorrow.

♪ ♪

Dick: But now something else urgently needs their attention.

Oy, kitchen's here.

♪ ♪

[van pulls up]

- Look how amazing it is. - Yeah.

It's so well-built.

Come have a look at this.

It's really gorgeous, isn't it?

I love it.

You've got it?

Dick: The carpenter John handbuilt the cabinets and

worktops from scratch, using a combination of beech, elm, and

pine wood.

Looks like it's a really, really good quality kitchen and we're

really pleased with it so far.

Just by looking at it in pieces, it's really impressive.

All right, yeah.

Are you excited about the kitchen?

♪ ♪

Dick: With a professional carpenter on site, Michael's

happy to take a breather and escape to his own pet project,

the chateau's greenhouse.

It's definitely nice to go and get away from everything.

To have a space like this dedicated to growing fruit and

veggies is just amazing.

Dick: Whilst Michael gets back to nature, brother Billy's flat

out helping to fit the kitchen.

We're just using a laser level to get the right measurement for

the worktop because if it's not perfectly level, the windows

probably won't open.

♪ ♪

Dick: Michael's dream is to grow enough fruit and veg to make the

chateau self-sufficient.

I really enjoy it in here.

Sometimes you can spend hours in here and not realize the time's

passed.

♪ ♪

Dick: But before planting his first crop, these beds

desperately need fresh fertilizer.

Dick: Luckily, he knows a large stash nearby.

Because the loft is inhabited by hundreds of pigeons, and they've

been there for years, thankfully, we didn't throw away

all the pigeon manure and apparently, it's one of the most

amazing fertilizers that money can buy.

♪ ♪

Dick: Pigeon poo does contain masses of nitrogen which makes

it ideal for feeding plants but it's strong and it needs to be

mixed with compost.

♪ ♪

This stuff absolutely stinks.

[sprinkling]

There's a dead pigeon there.

I don't think I want to plant that.

Dick: Michael's pigeon plan has worked a treat.

♪ ♪

Dick: But in the half-fitted kitchen, there's a problem.

Man: Nine...

I'm trying to line up the units so there's not too much of a gap

at the other end.

John the carpenter is worried that once the units have been

fitted, there won't be enough room for the cooker that

Michael's ordered.

Gwendoline: You should ask him, really.

Yeah.

All right, then.

- Should we call Michael? - Call Michael.

- Michael! - Oh, like that.

Billy [yelling]: Michael!

Dick: Michael is the only one who knows how big the cooker is.

Without him checking the measurements, the kitchen can't

be finished.

Dick: But just when he's needed the most, he's heading to the

far edge of the vast estate.

Just off down to the bottom of the forest, there's a massive

pile of old leaves that are right down to the most amazing

compost.

Michael!

Michael!

Dick: With no time to spare and more than 60 acres of land to

roam, finding him could be tricky.

Gwendoline: Michael!

♪ ♪

Dick: 100 miles south, in the heart of the Loire Valley, is

Chateau La Perrière.

A stroll away on the banks of the Vienne river stands Chinon,

a medieval town steeped in history, rich with culture,

and the wines aren't bad either.

It generally does all taste good.

Dick: This is Paul Horne, proud joint owner of Chateau La

Perrière with his wife Karen.

The chateau was love at first sight.

It was.

We weren't love at first sight.

I was--

No, you didn't.

You're lying now.

[laughter]

The chateau's relatively modest.

I think it's 400 square metres, it's got eight bedrooms.

Dick: The Hornes, who live in England, bought the mid-19th

century chateau for £500,000.

Having renovated all 16 rooms, they've turned it into a luxury

holiday rental.

[children yelling]

Pool's literally just been opened and although it's only

22° you've gotta go in there 'cause you gotta make the most

of it, really.

♪ ♪

Dick: This week, there's a gap in bookings so Paul, Karen and

their kids, Katie and Tom, have a chance to enjoy the chateau

and crack on with the next stage of renovation.

♪ ♪

Dick: Paul has a plan to give the chateau a unique selling

point: A new luxury office space.

Next project we're looking to do is, one of the lovely

outbuildings is the original water tower from the 1850s.

What we're looking to do is completely strip out the first

floor and then put an office in there.

Et voilà.

All right, let's get this out.

One window down, two to go.

Dick: The first job is to remove the tower's shutters.

With a little bit of sanding up and paint, they'll be absolutely

fine.

I've always wanted to maintain old shutters.

[laughing]

Dick: Removing the shutters was easy.

A much bigger problem is the tower's massive 10,000-metre

steel water tank, which needs cutting out piece by piece with

an angle grinder, a tool Paul's never used before.

Paul: Looked it on the Internet, I've taken a few tips from

people.

And it can't be that hard to remove three tonnes of steel.

Karen: I don't think Paul has had an angle grinder.

I think seeing him use that is a little bit nerve-wracking.

Dick: But first, he needs to get the angle grinder started.

Paul: Where's Neil?

Neal: I'm here Paul, I'm here.

In or out?

Dick: Thankfully, he's got professional help.

Neil: I just want to swivel this around to the other side now.

Dick: The chateau's handyman Neil, who looks after the estate

when the family are away.

When you're ready to start, tell me.

Plug yourself in.

The plug is around that side.

Right, okay.

Start around that side and we'll fire the fan up.

It's going to be very loud and very smelly in a minute.

[whirring]

[bang]

Dick: Ooh, classic rookie error.

Never start the grinder when it's already touching the metal.

Neil: You need to have the blade spinning before you put it in

the crack.

[grinding]

Dick: The tank is three metres tall and weighs over

three tonnes.

[grinding]

Dick: Cutting through half-inch-thick metal is

hard work.

Karen: Have you worked out how long it's going to take to

actually get this whole thing out 'cause it

looks quite lengthy.

[grinding]

About that much left to go.

First panel.

[grinding]

[banging]

Wow!

Oh!

There you go.

That was pretty easy, wasn't it?

First bit, first bit.

Dick: If Paul continues cutting at this rate, he'll still be

there in a week.

But the chateau's next paying guests arrive in just three days

and Paul's angle grinder isn't going to help the ambiance.

Oh, you'll fly through it this afternoon.

Now you got experience.

Got confidence.

♪ ♪

Haven't you?

Dick: Whilst Paul butters the water tank, Karen and Tom are

also busy.

Karen: Oh, look at all these bugs.

Too many.

Karen: This shutter has probably been on that water tower 200

years and it's still in very good shape.

Dick: Restoring these shutters will provide a cheap but

charming original feature.

Karen: Where possible, it's really nice to be able to

recycle.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Oh, wow.

Dick: Renovating a chateau is a never-ending job and every penny

counts.

Off you eat, Matey.

Dick: Grandma's chicken soup.

Dick: So we're no strangers to a spot of upcycling.

- It's nice and warm. - It feels cold.

- Is that a loo? - I did think that.

Dick: We love scouring reclamation yards like this one

at La Gravelle, 20 miles from our chateau.

And no one can spot a bargain like my Angel.

We haven't got very long but we're looking for a birthday

present.

Lots of old stuff.

It's my birthday.

47.

[Angel laughing]

Dick: So we're galloping around to have a quick look, see what

we can find.

[Angel laughing]

Dick: What do you fancy?

You.

Dick: You're so full of twaddle.

Come on.

You want a fountain, don't you?

Yeah, I do.

Look how ridiculous that is.

Where?

Where, where, where?

Keep looking, keep looking.

- Oh, I love it! - It is so wrong.

[laughter]

Angel: But it's not a water feature.

- It is. - Is it?

[Angel laughing]

I quite like all of these like just wonky things.

♪ ♪

Dick: When on a salvage hunt, spotting a diamond in the rough

can take a while.

Dick: There's lots of nice stuff here.

Angel: Oh!

Dick: Amidst a sea of rust, Angel's spotted something.

Dick: Double ended?

Angel: Aha!

Hmm.

Dick: This old bath has real potential and is a 10th of the

price of a fully restored one.

I gotta tell you, that is not a bad bath.

Yeah, I know.

It's a deep bath.

Seems quite good nick, actually.

You see outside it's very--

Dick: No, but the outside's dead easy.

Yeah.

You wire brush that off and then you can--

Yeah.

You can come right down any way you want.

But this bit here, the surprising bit is--

Angel: It's not a bad nick, is it?

Dick: No, it isn't.

Dick: Restored, this would be perfect for our chateau.

Time to close the deal on this cast iron bargain.

Dick: Bonjour, madame.

Dick: We also find a second very promising bath at the same

brocante with a combined price tag of less than £350,

including home delivery.

Already restored, these baths could easily cost over £1,000

each.

♪ ♪

I think that re-enamelling and sanding the side down and

painting is going to bring this bath back to life.

We could be saving quite a lot of money.

I'm very, very excited about it.

If we get these back to life, they are going to be just part

of this whole big adventure and journey.

They're going to be a bit of a talking point.

And I just think they'll be a bit soulful than something new.

♪ ♪

Dick: But to get these rusty baths ship shape--

Angel: I don't like these things.

[gasping]

Dick:--Angel's got her work cut out.

They'll make great composts if you can't get them back to life.

[spraying]

Dick: This is Abbaye de la Bussière, a monastery for 900

years.

It's now owned and run as a hotel by Brits, Clive and Tanith

Cummings.

I think a lot of the locals probably looked at it as like

being a hostile takeover.

Les anglais have arrived.

Dick: They gave up life in Sussex to start the hotel,

which is nestled in lush Burgundy countryside,

close to the region's capital Dijon and where competition

for guests is especially fierce.

Tanith: It's basically very up and down.

We can have a really good year and then the next year, for

reasons that are very hard to pinpoint, it can be not so busy.

Dick: And with the huge overheads of running a luxury

hotel, for Clive and Tanith, every summer is make or break.

- We're up to four loans? - I think so.

Four loans with our French bank.

It is very, very seasonal.

So we have to make our money in that very short space of time.

Still very much a work in progress and we have to be

really, really tight with everything.

♪ ♪

Dick: Clive and Tanith's exclusive resort hosts everyone

from Hollywood stars to Porsche owners' clubs.

I'm a bit of a petrolhead myself so I do like seeing nice cars.

♪ ♪

Welcome, bonjour, bienvenue.

Thank you.

Envy, Porsche envy.

Dick: Today, a VIP guest has made a romantic request.

Clive: Right.

He wants to propose to his girlfriend so he's asked us to

help him try and find a way of making it really special and do

something really lovely that she's not going to forget.

So they're flying in by helicopter, which is going to be

an amazing start.

So we're just trying to find somewhere that would just make

it really romantic and not somewhere where every hotel has

and not many hotels have a crypt so this could make it really

special.

Dick: For centuries, this crypt was used as a burial vault and a

place for the monks to store holy relics.

But Clive and Tanith reckon that by tomorrow, it will be the

perfect place to propose marriage.

♪ ♪

Tanith: I would have as many candles as possible.

'Cause I think that would just make it really romantic.

The idea will be that, he will take her for a nice walk

around the garden, they'll discover the crypt so he'll go,

"Let's have a look in here."

And then he'll bring her in and then he'll pop the question.

Fingers crossed she'll say yes and there will be champagne and

then they're going to have a private dinner up in the lounge

and just make it as romantic as possible.

Like me when I did my romantic proposal to you.

You never did a romantic proposal.

[laughter]

I don't think you--you do it for other people but you're not very

good at doing it for yourself.

[laughter]

♪ ♪

Dick: The guests' helicopter is expected in about 20 minutes.

It's general manager Michael's job to make sure the landing

goes smoothly.

I don't know too much about them.

Very important VIP from the United States.

She's got no tables and chairs out here.

We've taken the parasols down so everything is safe.

Minute by minute until he lands, we're here, watching them in.

[helicopter flying above]

Michael: Here we go.

Okay Michael, move back now.

Dick: With their VIP guest expecting the perfect venue for

a proposal, Clive and his staff must keep their heads.

You never approach until the blades have actually totally

stopped.

Just wait for him, Mike.

Just duck your head.

I don't want you to bump your head.

[laughter]

Dick: As the big moment draws nearer, the pressure's on for

Clive and Tanith.

Michael: Good morning.

♪ ♪

Dick: 350 miles west in our chateau, my wife Angel is

tackling a less romantic problem.

Angel: These are the two baths that we picked up in the

brocante.

I love the feet.

They are feet that you just don't find on new baths now.

They're just amazing.

♪ ♪

Dick: Fixing up both baths ourself instead of buying them

fully restored could save us over £1,500.

But there's several tricky stages.

♪ ♪

Oh man, it's been a hell of a lot of work.

Lots of sanding.

Definitely had a couple of my nails.

[laughing]

I'd like to say I've done it all myself but--[laughing]--"Dick!"

He's helped out a bit.

I mean, you sand--you can sand forever.

Dick: It's the crucial moment.

Angel's applying an even undercoat.

But you know what, we'll get there.

We will get to a bath that looks good in the end.

Dick: And whilst the primer dries on the first bath, Angel

turns her attention to the one she painted earlier.

Right, oh!

Getting there.

Legs on?

Angel: No, it's--I'm just putting them on.

I just wondered if you would help me lift the bath.

[clattering]

Angel: He's always got a tool for everything.

Baby, oh, you're so strong.

That is heavy.

Right, where do I need to go to--

Nowhere.

Not yet.

Not until I get on this side.

Angel: Now for the enamelling.

Dick: To get this scratched old tub looking like new again,

Angel needs to re-enamel it.

I don't think that's going to be an easy job.

Dick: This special paint will set into a hard brilliant white

finish.

Angel: Feels very runny.

Dick: This is the tricky part.

Angel needs to roll the enamel on thickly, without leaving any

run marks.

Angel: It's covering it.

That's a good start, isn't it?

Dick: And it set quickly.

So she has to apply the coat as fast as possible to stop the

roller getting stuck to the bath.

Angel: I'm definitely expecting to do two coats of this.

♪ ♪

Angel: I'm liking this paint.

It's like you know, Tipp-Ex.

[laughing]

♪ ♪

I'm sweating.

It's hard work.

Dick: One coat down, one to go.

♪ ♪

Angel: Quietly confident that I wouldn't mind bathing in it

myself.

♪ ♪

Angel: I'm super happy.

I think that looks quite good.

These baths new are around £1,000.

We paid £150 and £185.

So yeah, we've probably saved quite a lot of money.

Dick: Saving money is always nice.

♪ ♪

Dick: Especially when the finished product looks as good

as this.

Angel: Super, super happy with the bath.

I love it!

I've bathed the kids in this.

It was quite a lot of work but we saved a lot of money.

And it looks great.

So you can say I'm a bath expert.

Said very tongue in cheek.

I've even had a couple of people send me pictures of themselves

in the bath.

[laughing]

And not dirty pictures.

Like you know, just really beautiful like romantic

pictures.

♪ ♪

[laughter]

♪ ♪

Dick: Back at Chateau de la Basmaignée's 60-acre estate,

keen to get his greenhouse up and running, Michael's deep in

the woods, searching for the perfect compost.

This stuff is absolutely amazing.

I mean, if you have a look, it's got a beautiful crumbly texture

and it's perfect for what I need.

Michael!

Dick: He's blissfully unaware Gwendoline is searching for him.

Michael!

Michael!

Oy!

Did you hear that?

A woodpecker.

There's one that lives in the cedar.

Michael!

Michael!

It's a really nice sound hearing things like that in here.

You know, in the countryside.

You don't hear things like that in the city.

So...

[cart drives away]

He's needed right now and he's not here.

Never here when he needs to be.

♪ ♪

Dick: They've got just hours left to move into the chateau

and out of the adjacent guest house where their first paying

guests, a hen party of 14, are due to stay in the morning.

[scrubbing]

Dick: All this depends on finishing the chateau's kitchen.

But without Michael's measurement for the new cooker,

work has ground to a halt.

♪ ♪

Michael: Oh, Gwendoline.

- You're needed in the chateau. - I'm needed in the chateau.

- Yeah. - What for?

Because they need to know what size exactly, like how wide is

the Aga going to be--

Michael:Aga--oh, right.

--so they can have the proper measurement where to put the

units

Where to cut and all.

Right, okay.

Do you want to get on or are you all right walking back?

[laughing]

Michael: All right, here we go.

♪ ♪

We need to take the habit of taking the walkie-talkies with

us everywhere we go.

Michael: Oh right, yeah.

Right, I'll see you in a minute.

Gwendoline: Finish.

Get on with things.

♪ ♪

Dick: To save money, the cooker Michael's bought is a reclaimed

cast iron one which is still in pieces but will it actually fit

in the new kitchen?

It's 70 but the handrail pokes out to 75 and that's slightly

below the height of the worktop.

So I don't know if this cupboard door is going to open.

Let's just check.

Brought my hand up here so it's up here.

So the door will open under the handle brackets without any

problems.

John: No problem, yeah.

So it's perfect.

Bit touch and go there, yeah.

I thought the cooker wasn't going to fit.

I mean, that would mean we would have to find a whole new cooker.

And that would have been no good so yeah, everything's fine.

No worries.

Yeah.

Dick: Crisis averted.

Work on the kitchen can resume but to get it finished, there's

still many more hours of work.

♪ ♪

[sawing]

[birds chirping]

Dick: After a very long night, the bespoke kitchen worktop is

finally going on.

- You've got that there, John? - Yeah, I got it.

- Oh, my hand. - Yeah.

Dick: But in just two hours, a hen party's arriving to stay in

the guest house where Billy, Gwen, and Michael have been

living.

♪ ♪

Dick: So they're facing a packing nightmare.

I don't know how many pair of shoes I've got.

Too many, probably.

Dick: With 14 paying guests expecting flawless

accommodation--

[bleep]

Dick:--all their belongings must be moved to the chateau where

they'll now be living.

I'll have time to organize it all later.

♪ ♪

Dick: With a mountain of mess to sort out, Gwen's badly in need

of furniture for the empty chateau.

And some help from the boys.

Is it heavy?

- Oh [bleep], it is heavy. - Really heavy.

We'll have to carry it without.

Put it--

- In our bedroom. - There's no room.

Billy: Oh there will be--

All right, if you want.

Gwendoline: But it's to put towels and--

Billy: I thought it would be good for my clothes.

Oh, whatever.

Gwendoline's difficult.

Gwendoline: I'm not being difficult.

I'm trying to find room for everything at the moment.

Oh, it's better now.

It's not as heavy.

♪ ♪

Billy: Right.

Just plunk it down here for now.

[grunt]

Until the boss tells us where to put it.

Dick: With lots still to do, will Gwen, Billy, and Michael

be ready for their first-ever guests?

We're kind of almost running out of time.

♪ ♪

Dick: Back at Chateau Perrière, the idyllic calm of the Loire

Valley is still being punctuated by Paul's angle grinder.

[grinding]

Dick: After five hours cutting the giant water tank, Paul and

his helper Neil have removed several large sections.

Paul: Nice one.

I finally made friends with the angle grinder and we're going

quite well now.

Dick: Cutting out the three-tonne tank is the first

stage of transforming this outbuilding into a new

office retreat.

Watching somebody angle grinding, the novelty wears off

real quick.

- It does, doesn't it? - Yeah.

[grinding]

Dick: Paul needs the noisy metal work finished before the next

paying guests arrive in just two days.

♪ ♪

Dick: In the chateau, Karen also has a project she's rushing to

complete.

My intention is to screen print some fabric to make some blinds

for our guests' bedroom so our guests don't have to wake up at

the same time that the sun rises.

♪ ♪

Dick: But making the stencil of the screen printer blinds is a

long and tricky process.

The motion is being applied in a very messy fashion.

[laughing]

So I have my negative prints.

These are clear of the areas where the ink should go through.

That is of course, if I've done it correctly.

Dick: To burn this design onto the light-sensitive screen--

Karen: Going to go where it's nice and bright.

Dick:--Karen exposes it to direct sunlight for three

minutes.

We'll see.

Dick: Now for the moment of truth.

Okay now, I'm getting worried.

You know what I've done.

I've actually done the reverse to what I actually wanted.

Dick: Poor Karen's got her template wrong.

This screen will print the area outside her pattern,

not the pattern itself.

I've done it the wrong way around.

I laid at night worrying that I've done this.

Dick: And with just a day to finish the blinds, it's back to

the drawing board.

Paul: So now we've done the easy bit.

We're going to do the hard bit.

We're going to get the roof down.

Outside, Paul and handyman Neil have reached the last and most

dangerous part of removing the tank.

We want to rotate it around so that this is pointing towards

the doorway.

Hopefully not acting like a guillotine at the same time.

Man: Steady, steady.

Right, I'm going to go outside the door then.

- You ready? - Yeah.

Don't stand there. Kate.

Neil: Just bear with me for a minute.

Neil: Okay, gently lift it down.

[crash]

Oh, so scary.

[crash]

If I hadn't lost the end of my finger already, I may well have

done just then.

[laughing]

You should have put the other one in.

Could have got a matching pair.

Yeah, we're down.

'Cause I've got really dusty throughout now, obviously, being

inside.

I think I got slightly soiled underwear as well after that.

[laughter]

♪ ♪

Dick: The top of the water tank may be vanquished.

I'm just seeing if it's attached to anything.

Dick: But with time running out, Neil and Paul still need to

remove the base.

♪ ♪

Dick: 100 miles north at Chateau de la Basmaignée,

Billy, Gwendoline, and Michael's first guests, a hen party of 14,

are due in just two hours.

♪ ♪

Dick: And their accommodation, the guest house, is still not

ready.

The whole building's got to be completely cleaned and prepared

for the guests.

It's a bit rushed.

Bit last minute but we're going to get it done.

♪ ♪

Dick: Whilst Billy and Gwen concentrate on the guest house,

Michael's discovered something outside that may not be of help.

Billy: Picking up dog poo.

Right, you're going in here for the day.

♪ ♪

Dick: With this messy problem sorted, it's time for the final

push.

Michael: How many men does it take to change a light bulb?

Two.

[laughing]

Lovely.

We're kind of almost running out of time now.

The guests are going to be here really soon.

[motor running]

♪ ♪

[scrubbing]

♪ ♪

Dick: And with that, with just minutes to spare, the guest

house is finally ready.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: The guests are due to arrive at any minute.

[blow drying]

♪ ♪

I'm going to hide out of the way because Gwendoline is probably

best suited for the job of greeting the guests.

I'll be standing there a bit like a lemon, going,

"Bonjour, bonjour, bonjour," and that'd be it.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: Whilst the chateau's first paying guests begin to let their

hair down--

[screaming]

♪ ♪

Oh what's that you got?

Oh we need to celebrate. don't we.

- Oh, lovely. - Yeah.

I fancy a little bit of that.

Dick: Gwendoline, Billy, and Michael can now toast two

life-changing moments.

[cork pops]

Hey!

Dick: Getting their business off the ground and even better,

their first day living in the chateau itself.

In the chateau now.

Cheers.

We're here.

The guests are in the guest house.

And to our future in the chateau.

- Yeah. - Cheers.

♪ ♪

Dick: With the tiles done, the cooker in, their beautiful

bespoke kitchen is now ready to use.

♪ ♪

Dick: But they've still got 39 more rooms to go.

We'll get 'em in the end.

- Not today. - Not today, no.

No.

- Lunch? - Yeah.

Eat something.

Dick: So that's one new chateau finally open for business.

♪ ♪

Dick: 400 miles away in Dijon--

Rose petals on the floor?

That would just give it a nice bit of colour as well.

Experienced hoteliers Clive and Tanith are ready to welcome a

high flier.

- Good morning! - Hello.

How are you?

Welcome to the Abbaye.

- Nice to finally meet you. - And you too.

- How are you, welcome. - Pleasure.

Yeah, so come on through, come on through.

Let me take you in.

Dick: Their VIP guest Frank has told Clive he wants to propose

to his girlfriend Tammy before dinner this evening.

♪ ♪

Dick: At Clive's suggestion, he's popping the question in the

Abbaye's crypt.

But Frank's never actually been here before so he doesn't know

the layout of the grounds.

I need to very discreetly get the gentleman on his own so I

can show him where the crypt is.

Just in case they're loitering now.

Loitering with intent, as I keep saying.

I'm just going to hang around and wait.

Hopefully, he might need to go to the toilet.

When he does need to go to the toilet, I'll quickly lead him

over to the crypt, show him the crypt and I need to know the

time as well.

That's important for me so I can get the candles lit and the

champagne.

♪ ♪

Dick: Clive just needs a couple of minutes alone with Frank.

I'll bet she catches me sneaking a peek.

♪ ♪

Dick: But he's got to be discreet.

Nearly.

Why risk it?

I'll stay inside and wait.

Dick: But an hour-long lunch comes and goes without a single

trip to the bathroom.

I'm sat here patiently waiting for one of them to move and

they've both moved.

So they've both now gone for a walk.

♪ ♪

Clive: Dush, dush, dush, dush, dush.

Loitering, loitering, loitering.

♪ ♪

Dick: Clive and Tanith can't risk the couple stumbling across

the crypt when it's not proposal-ready, so they're

going ahead with the finishing touches.

We're just going to try to make it really pretty and really

romantic so we've got lots of red rose petals.

Obviously, some nice bouquet of roses which she'll be able to

take away with her and then just lots of candles but I sort of

got vanilla ones that have a nice smell as they walk in so it

might give them a good hour before they're due in so

hopefully it'll give a nice, nice smell.

You can never have too many candles.

The more candles, the better as well.

I haven't been able to get him alone so we're lighting the

candles a little bit premature at the moment.

So we're just hoping that he does find it 'cause it's a

little bit tucked away but we couldn't really say anything in

front of her so we're just going to have to cross our fingers and

hope he finds it.

♪ ♪

Fingers crossed it will go as according to plan.

Should we have a trial run?

No?

Okay.

See, I did offer her.

- Good. - Let's go.

Tanith: Happy with that.

Dick: The crypt is ready.

All they need now is the couple.

Shall we go and hide?

They're coming through that way?

Yeah.

Tanith: Need to go for a wee.

Dick: And 90 minutes later, the big moment arrives.

Clive: Nice dress.

Nice dress she's got.

Clive: In they go.

We could be standing here for a long time.

[cork pops]

Oh. there goes the cork.

That wasn't the cork.

That was the cork.

♪ ♪

[laughing]

Yes!

[applause]

Clive: Congratulations!

Well done.

Congratulations!

Good.

[laughter]

He did well.

Clive: Fantastic, fantastic.

We're going to leave you in peace with the champagne.

[clinking glass]

Ah.

Good day's work.

It's a happy day for both of us.

Happiest days of our lives.

Muah.

- I love you. - I love you.

♪ ♪

Dick: 250 miles west in the Loire Valley, at Chateau

Perrière, with guests arriving in the morning and renovation

work behind schedule, the whole Horne family are pitching in.

I've gotta get all the toiletries out and in the

cupboard.

I need to reply to the email from the people that are coming

tomorrow and need to pack and we need to cook.

Karen: I think it might be a late night.

♪ ♪

Paul: See if we can fold this down.

Ready?

Dick: In the outbuilding, Paul's angle grinding marathon is

almost at an end.

♪ ♪

Man: Whoa, big hole.

Dick: The final challenge for him and handyman Neil is to cut

out the water tank's base.

[grinding]

Dick: In the chateau, despite her disastrous first attempt,

Karen's persevering with her screen printing.

Voilà.

Perfect.

That's exactly what we want.

Dick: She's created a new design template and this time, it's the

right way around.

I'm happy.

Although it is really blotchy.

[blow drying]

Dick: Karen hopes to screen print her pattern on to a set of

blinds and hang them in a guest bedroom.

But she's going to have to wait.

It's still very wet.

And I'm not sure I've got any hope in this drying anytime

soon.

Dry a bit quicker.

Probably end up with a disaster as well.

Dick: While her troublesome template dries, Karen goes to

inspect Paul and handyman Neil's work in the new office.

Just going to try and cut up the last bit of the floor of the

water tank.

[grinding]

[grinding stops]

Neil: You survived the disk cutter experience.

Mate, well done.

Karen: God, it's enormous.

I can't believe--

I can't believe you've done it.

I know.

- Two days. - Yeah.

That's impressive, isn't it?

Bet you didn't think that when you started.

No, I thought I'd be here for a week.

[birds chirping]

The view is just fantastic.

There could be worse places to work.

Karen: It looks fab.

Dick: With Karen suitably impressed--

Man: Oh!

Dick:--the boys get on with removing the floor.

Man:--that corner rips.

Dick: After slicing through over three tonnes of steel,

Paul certainly mastered the angle grinder.

Now this one is heavy.

Ooh.

Dick: But with new masonry, plumbing, and electrics all

still to do, he's got a lot more to learn before the office is

finished.

So that's the original valve for the water tank for the whole of

the chateau in a stay.

That'll definitely be polished off and put in the office just

to remind me of my angle grinding days.

♪ ♪

Dick: It's been a long day and there's still one job left to

do.

It's now Karen's last chance to get the screen printing right on

her blinds.

I only have one piece and it's exactly the right size for my

window and I don't have anymore.

I've only got tonight to get it finished and printed so there's

a lot counting on me not making any mistakes.

♪ ♪

Karen: I'm really nervous.

[exhales]

Okay, here we go.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- Voilà. - Wow!

That's amazing!

Doesn't that look beautiful?

I love the mottling.

I love it.

Absolutely love it!

That's so beautiful.

♪ ♪

Dick: Magnificent.

A finish to be proud of.

Karen: This fabric will be unique because it's not

digitally printed so every one is slightly different.

And that's what is the beauty of printing by hand.

[sewing]

Just sewing the last few seams together so that I can get on

and actually hang these blinds.

It's a little bit stressful as I am running out of time.

[sewing]

Dick: All that's left is to get the blinds hung, ready for

tomorrow's guests.

Paul: High up on the ceiling?

Karen: Can you come down a little bit?

[drilling]

Karen: Wow.

Let's see what these beauties look like.

Karen: I think the guests are going to love it because I think

it adds a little bit of warmth to the room: I love the idea of

reusing fabrics.

♪ ♪

It just adds a quality you can't buy.

Dick: It's been a productive trip and the family can now

enjoy their final evening in the chateau before their guests move

in.

What do you think, Tom?

Tom: It's delicious.

Dick: But there's still a huge amount of work to do on the

office.

And with the chateau booked out for most of the summer,

there are only a few free days to do it.

So cheers.

Enjoy the meal.

'Cause in half an hour, we'll be packing and finishing and

getting ready for the guests tomorrow.

Karen: You've ruined it for me.

We're not there yet.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

To La Perrière.

♪ ♪

Dick: Next time, I receive an SOS from some chateau

neighbours.

How are we doing?

Lovely to meet you.

Dick: And wind up with a serious challenge on my hands.

Are you ready?

This isn't going to work, is it?

Dick: Out in the woods, the hunt is on for some unwanted

visitors.

You really gotta keep away from them because they're quite

dangerous.

Dick: And in the Loire Valley, the heat is on to repair a

crumbling wall.

♪ ♪

It's hot.

I'm expiring here.

I don't think I could be hotter.

♪ ♪

Dick: Plus: Michelin-star food sourced from the back garden.

Look at this.

Look.

All the strawberries, look at them all.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪