Original subtitles

[birds chirping]

This is me:

Dick Strawbridge, my wife Angel, and our two children in our

glorious French chateau.

We haven't ever regretted what we've done.

It is so worth it.

We moved here three years ago to follow our dream of living life

in our very own castle.

[laughing] Oh my god.

Dick: But it's not been easy--

I think I'm a bit too old for this.

--as dozens of other Brits know only too well.

Man: Oops, floor needs replacing as well [laughs].

Dick: Because it turns out we're not the only expats who have

bought a French chateau.

Wow, absolutely love it.

Jonathan Cooke: 25-year-old Bordeaux.

Motherlode!

Dick: In this series, we'll reveal how we're running our

chateau as a business--

There's not a thing about making sausages that I don't find

humorous.

I'm still finding things that I haven't seen.

Dick:--and see how these daring Brits are running theirs--

Whoa, whoa, whoa, this place is done up.

--as they face the ups--

It's really beautiful.

This is a rare moment, but I am genuinely at peace.

Dick:--and downs--

It's a lot worse than it looks.

Dick:--of their new lives in these crumbling and magnificent

buildings.

Man: It is a bit fancy living in a French chateau.

We might have a few problems on the way, but that's part of

life, isn't it [laughs]?

Yeah.

♪ ♪

- Dick: Today: - [burner ticking]

Dick: Angel gets crafty.

What are you doing in my kitchen anyway?

Is it OK, baby, if I just use your kitchen for a minute to

make some candles?

Dick: And wedding cakes.

- What's down here? - Angel: Ta-da [laughing]!

Dick: Mm, mm, mm.

♪ ♪

Dick: One couple risk their future in France on how a big

event goes at the chateau, but--

The lift has jammed itself on the ground floor.

Dick:--there's one problem--

Jonathan: They don't think they've got any more parts like

it, because it's so old.

Dick:--after another.

Alan: I found the pipe that's leaking.

It's got a split in it.

It looks like it is the mains pipe.

Dick: And one chateau struggles to be ready in time for its

first-ever paying guests.

Steve: This is full of sand.

- [thunder rumbles] - That is very threatening.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

♪ ♪

Dick: The beautiful Chateau de Jalesnes sits in the Loire

Valley and is the home and business of couple Michael and

Jonathan.

Michael Halpin: We love the French lifestyle; we love the

French language; love the French people.

Owning a chateau is a brilliant experience.

♪ ♪

Dick: They run it as a location for holidays and weddings.

But now, they're about to make a decision on whether or not they

should continue.

Today, they're prepping for a wedding.

Jonathan: We've got everything at stake.

There's no more money.

I don't think you can put anymore into it now.

Any--I couldn't put any more hours into this; I couldn't put

any more money into it.

We haven't got any more money, and I haven't got any more time

in the day, so there's nothing more we can put into it.

♪ ♪

Dick: 45 guests are due tomorrow, and they'll be staying

for a week.

It's going to make them £30,000 if it all goes well.

Dick: I need the sol card, please, to get some iron bar.

And have you got any cash as well, please?

Dick: Stress levels are high.

And the news that the bride wants the wedding to be held in

the chateau's forest brings up new problems.

Michael: The wedding's in the forest by Jalesnes Tower.

It's changed.

So it's out there now.

Um--

So what--what are they doing with chairs?

Are they gonna carry the chairs up there, or are they gonna

stand for the ceremony?

I didn't ask the detail.

♪ ♪

Dick: And if that wasn't enough to deal with, there's a problem

with the chateau's lift.

Jonathan: The lift has jammed itself on the ground floor.

Fortunately, nobody inside it.

Door's jammed open, and we're about a foot--30 centimetres or

so--off the level of the floor, so we can't use it.

I've put in a call to the engineer.

My worry is the bride is going to have to come down from the

very top floor in her wedding dress and her wedding shoes,

down an emergency staircase.

Just don't need things like this to go wrong.

[speaking in French]

Dick: It'll take the engineer two hours to drive to the

chateau.

It gives Jonathan time to deal with another ongoing problem.

The shrine in the chateau's grounds is still missing a Jesus

figurine from its cross.

And now the bride wants her wedding outside, it needs to be

replaced.

Luckily, an antique shop owner has just been in touch about a

miniature Jesus that's just come in.

Jonathan: So fingers crossed [chuckles].

Jesus, here we come.

Jonathan: Oui, oui, oui, oui.

Wow.

- Jonathan: Merci. - [woman speaking in French]

Jonathan: I don't want it pristine, as the cross itself

isn't pristine.

But lookit, my goodness gracious, I couldn't have wished

for better.

Dick: The price is OK, but the only question for Jonathan is

the size.

I've forgotten my blooming tape measure after all that, but I

know that the distance between the nails on the cross is

my--the span of my hand.

Look, you couldn't get better matched than that, so fingers

crossed.

But it's in good nick, so I'm very excited [laughs].

Oh my goodness.

Day's turning out good.

Now all I need is the lift to be fixed.

[both speaking in French]

♪ ♪

Dick: Back at the chateau, and with the lift engineer due to

arrive at any moment, Jonathan delegates the Jesus repair to

one of the volunteer workers--Alan.

Moment of truth, Alan.

You did get something then?

I did, I did.

Right, well, let's offer it up and see what we've got.

♪ ♪

Jonathan: Actually, it's too big.

Alan: No, no, leave this with me, and I'll get him attached to

the cross in a suitable manner.

- Works for me. - Cheerio then.

- See you in a minute. - All right.

♪ ♪

Dick: The lift engineer arrives on time, but there's just half a

day remaining to fix the fault in time for the wedding.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: Angela and I know all too well the challenges and costs

involved in putting on weddings at a chateau.

One service we offer the bride and groom is to provide

icing-free wedding cakes.

A naked wedding cake [chuckles].

It's a fashion in the U.K.

We're kind of celebrating Victoria sponges.

So last night, I baked these cakes.

And if you bought a cake like this, you're talking £300, £400.

♪ ♪

Dick: The ingredients for Angela's wedding cake probably

costs around £50.

Angel: I'm starting off with my first layer, and then I'm gonna

put buttercream, jam, second layer.

I'm using this little spatula because I can't find any of the

spatulas.

Remember, I'm in Dick's kitchen [chuckles].

Dick: My kitchen.

Remember that.

So he's probably filed them somewhere else, which is fine;

I just don't know about it.

OK, so second layer, strawberry jam.

Dick: Now for the tricky part.

I always dread this bit.

OK--[humming].

[laughs]

OK, here we go.

All right, lovely.

Dick: Time for a little structural engineering.

Now what's gonna happen is as I put the next layer on, it's

gonna be really, really heavy.

You can use jumbo straws or dowels to take the pressure.

I mean, it's everybody's worse nightmare, isn't it?

The wedding cake starts falling down [laughs].

Right, I'm gonna need a little board because I can't just have

the dowels.

OK, so my final tier.

OK.

♪ ♪

Angel: This is where I always decorate it with flowers,

berries, and all nice things, to make it really, really, really

appetizing.

Just using little toothpicks to just keep the berries in

position.

I'm just slowly building this up.

Just a real celebration of nature.

You know, it's berries from the garden; it's flowers from the

garden.

It's all about engineering.

I'm gonna finish this off with a little bit of caster sugar.

Ta-da!

[laughs]

I'd be happy with that at my wedding.

♪ ♪

Dick: It doesn't take long for the smell of Angela's baking to

reach me and the kids.

- What's down here? - Angel: Ta-da [laughing]!

- Arthur: Looks yummy! - [Angel laughs]

It looks like a wedding cake!

Dick: Little Arthur and Dorothy love Mom's cake.

I think we'll let them have some of this, and we'll just have to

make another.

Arthur, do you think you could do--eat all of this?

- Arthur: Yeah. - [Dick laughs]

There you go, baby.

My son's happy.

- Is it bad cake? - Mm, mm, mm.

Bite?

- Wow, very good. - Angel: Love you.

Thank you, darling.

Dick: This is the best cake, mm.

And it's the best finger dipper!

[Angel laughs]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Dick: at Chateau de Jalesnes in the Loire Valley, 45 guests for

the big wedding arrive from America in the morning.

The engineer has just a few hours left to fix the lift.

Jonathan: The lift has jammed itself, so we can't use it.

Let's hope it's not too bad.

♪ ♪

Dick: After about an hour, Jonathan is anxious for a

progress report.

Oh my god.

Jonathan: What this is, is a spring that works the whole of

the descent of the lift, and it's completely broken, and he

says he doesn't think that the part exists anymore.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Dick: Perched on a steep hillside, overlooking the

beautiful Dordogne Valley, is the 17th century Chateau Madame.

Originally built as a defensive fort, it's now owned by business

partners and life-long friends Mandy and Steve whose dream is

to run it as a holiday gîte.

♪ ♪

I think the nicest thing I like are the little towers.

For me, they give--create character of Chateau Madame from

the outside.

It's really--makes it very distinctive and--and very pretty

actually.

It's just wonderful.

Dick: The chateau sits in the heart of the Dordogne, about 100

miles east of Bordeaux.

It's one of the most popular regions of France for tourism.

And tomorrow, Steve and Mandy are due to receive their

first-ever guests.

Right now, the pressure is very, very heavy duty.

Dick: And they've been promised a swimming pool.

♪ ♪

Dick: But it's been beset with problems:

Rotten concrete, a fallen wall, complicated stonework, and a

leak.

Steve: There's been so many things that have happened that

have held things up.

I tried so hard to just think positive, but thinking positive

doesn't--doesn't fix things that are a disaster.

Dick: at least the pool's filled.

But he now only has a day to finish the patio.

Steve: I'm bushing down the corners to make a radius which

makes them look the right age.

But it also makes it less apparent when they're not

perfectly flat.

Dick: The roughen texture also gives the patio an anti-slip

surface.

The fear is that you get to the last possible thing and you give

it a tink, and the whole thing splits right in half, which

happens sometimes.

Dick: Deep down, Steve relishes the challenge of getting this

place looking just right.

It might seem strange, the idea of getting everything absolutely

perfect, and tuning it like a violin, but the fact is, getting

things right is an enormous pleasure, and that's really

where I get my enjoyment out of doing things.

Dick: It's the final slab of the patio.

I hope for Steve's sanity it fits.

Steve: There.

It works, fits.

♪ ♪

Dick: Now he just needs to take an inch or two off the edge.

I wonder where all that sand and dust is going to end up.

Steve: This is full of sand, OK?

That's looking disastrous, actually.

♪ ♪

Dick: All the debris has ended up in the water.

Steve: So that [inaudible] needs to reduced.

That has to be sponged out.

Dick: Steve needs to get a move on.

The margelles needs cementing, and now the pool needs cleaning.

And the first-ever guests of this place arrive tomorrow

afternoon.

This has been the most frustrating--without any

question, the most frustrating thing.

Don't do it.

Swimming pools are nice to swim in, but building them is very

difficult [sighs].

[birds chirping]

♪ ♪

Dick: After struggling to make a profit at Chateau de Jalesnes,

Jonathan and Michael have decided their biggest event of

the year--a wedding--is going to be make or break for them.

If it works out well, they'll stay.

If it goes badly, they'll throw in the towel.

Jonathan: The general look of the chateau, it could never be

more important than the next couple of days.

Or couple of days--hell, the wedding's tomorrow [laughing].

I haven't got a couple of days.

Dick: The 45 wedding guests from America will be staying for a

whole week.

Jonathan: If we don't go down well in the States, we are going

to be in trouble.

This is the first, and it can't be the last.

We can't afford for that to happen.

Dick: But a broken lift means the bride will have to use the

stairs from her third-floor suite if it isn't fixed today.

Jonathan: So we're touch and go now.

Just what a day--what a day for it all to happen.

Dick: It's August, and the lift engineer needs to find a

replacement part.

This is a time when most of France is closed for holidays.

Jonathan: Whether the lift works or not rides on this phone call.

Hello.

Looking good for the lift?

- Jonathan: No. - Oh.

It's a part about that big, a little spring that's just

snapped in half through just age, 20 years, and they don't

think they've got any more parts like it, because it's so old.

He's ringing Angers to see if his boss has got one, and if he

has, they'll come out from Angers; he'll drive towards

Angers; meet in the middle; do the swap; and--and come and do

it.

If--

Michael: It's not like an order though?

Well, don't know.

Must be able to make or do something with it.

Jonathan: Wow.

Can't just condemn a whole lift because of one small part.

Jonathan: But what are we gonna do about all the stuff that's

gotta go up and down?

- We have to do it by hand. - [Jonathan exhales]

Fantastic!

He says he'll be back here in about half an hour.

♪ ♪

Dick: While the engineer goes to pick up the spare part, Jonathan

wants to see how chateau volunteer Alan is getting on

with an essential repair job.

Ready for the cross.

Dick: He was tasked with putting Jesus back on his cross.

♪ ♪

Alan: Moment of truth.

- How does that look? - Jonathan: Wow, wow!

Fantastic!

Now that is finished off properly.

Doesn't that look spectacular?

That makes all the difference.

Having found that, he looks absolutely right on there.

He's absolutely the right colour, absolutely the right

size.

I couldn't be happier.

Good.

- Thank you, Alan. - Alan: Pleasure.

Right, come on then, Lulu.

This way.

[whistles]

♪ ♪

Dick: Michael and his team of volunteers are getting things

ready for tomorrow's wedding.

Do find that when people are having their disco in here,

they do tend to break glass.

[chuckles]

♪ ♪

Dick: The wedding planner--Janet--is having to

adapt to a last-minute idea from the bride.

The wedding was supposed to be taking place in one place

outside.

Now, they're going to get married in the forest by a

little tower, so that's a surprise for everyone, which is

a good ten-minutes' walk, if you're carrying chairs about.

Dick: The broken lift is also adding pressure to Janet's

plans.

156 bottles of wine are stuck on the top floor of the chateau.

We're hoping that we can get it to work.

If not, there will probably be 20 or 30 people lined up down

the stairs passing boxes of wine to each other so we can get it

out into the fridge this afternoon.

♪ ♪

Dick: The list of lift jobs is growing, from moving wine,

to putting piles of excess chairs into storage.

45 minutes later, the lift engineer returns.

And Jonathan's earlier optimism takes a plunge.

He says it's not the same piece, but he says he's going to see if

it will work.

So, we're still up in the air with it.

Dick: I hope it works out, Jonathan, because if not, you're

going to have a lot of annoyed wedding guests on your hands.

And that's not going to be good for business.

♪ ♪

Dick

Dick: at Chateau-de-la-Motte Husson, Angel and I are always

trying out new things that could potentially help our business.

[burner ticks]

Dick: Everywhere I look, she seems to be burning scented

candles.

♪ ♪

I'm spending far too much money on candles.

If I'm really pushing the boat out, I'll spend £40 on a candle.

I know, it's absolutely daylight robbery, isn't it?

I'm giving this a go because it's really, really simple to

make.

So I've bought this soil wax, and I'm gonna melt it down.

♪ ♪

Dick: Angel picked up a kilogram bag of this stuff for just under

a tenner.

I'm gonna do it like I would heat chocolate--

Dick: She melts it on a low heat.

--so it doesn't burn it.

Dick: And five minutes later:

Angel: All right, we're nearly there.

This is good.

I might have to call my husband because I'm using his meat

thermometer.

Baby, come here.

♪ ♪

Sorry, I didn't know--am I allowed to use this?

It's not me--is this the sweet thermometer?

- Dick: Yeah. - Angel: Ahh, is it--

- Dick: [inaudible] - Angel: Huh?

Yes, it's perfect, it's 50.

Angel: I just was thinking that--

That's easier if you're using it.

Perfect, it's easier.

We've got so many thermometers in this house.

- We do? - [Angel laughs]

OK, I don't want to ask.

Obviously I'm not gonna eat any of it, when it smells like that.

No, you're not going to eat any of it.

Right.

What are you doing in my kitchen anyway?

Is it OK, baby, if I just use your kitchen for a minute to

make some candles?

Right, of course you can.

Angel: Hmm, what flavour do you fancy?

Oh that's nice.

Is that--

Dick: That was a surprise for you--

It smells like lemongrass.

Dick: I shouldn't really be in here because I've got some manly

things to do.

I just--I just have to say that although I have got some

essential oils, this is Dick's essential oil box [laughs].

Yes, that's very true [mumbles].

[both laugh]

Dick: Hopefully you can make me one.

Angel: Fancy something floral or fruity?

You see, the other way to go is the manly odour.

OK.

I'm working in the garden, that's probably--

- Go on, go on. - Darling, I don't mind.

Whatever you wanna do is lovely.

Yeah, I have to get cracking on this because it's exactly the

right temperature now, so--OK, muah, I love you.

What you do in my kitchen--

Angel: Bye-bye, bye-bye.

Dick: I'll leave her in my kitchen.

She's in my kitchen.

Look what she's doing.

Bye darling.

Angel: Have fun in the garden.

So I've got a few teacups and I've got these sort of old

French jam jars and these tins.

This seemed like a really good candle size.

♪ ♪

Dick: Angel then pours the wax into the cups and jars and adds

essential oil into each.

Bottles can be picked up for a couple of quid.

Angel: So this one's for Dick.

This one is lemongrass.

Right, and then I'm gonna--I'll put this in now.

And then I need something to kind of just like...

Dick: She's using one of my pastry brushes to hold the wick

in place.

Angel's first candle is ready to set.

Angel: That is Dick's lemongrass candle.

So here goes my special teacup.

I'm gonna have lavender because my favourite.

So I got these wicks.

I bought like 100 for--for not a lot of money.

And, right, once that's in, I'm just gonna trim it into place.

Super.

OK, they're gonna be lovely.

Oh, they smell amazing.

All right, I'm gonna go and pick the kids up, and fingers crossed

they will be set when I'm back.

We'll see.

I can't wait to set them alight [laughs].

Dick: Me too.

This could save us some cash.

Which is what Jonathan and Michael are doing in the chapel

of their chateau.

Three months ago, they found this ancient frieze in one of

their 21 caves.

Jonathan: Wow.

Oh my goodness.

Dick: They think it's over 600 years old and comes from the

manor house that stood on the site of the chateau in the

1500s.

♪ ♪

Dick: Now volunteer Alan is installing the support struts

for it in the chapel.

♪ ♪

Dick: Jonathan would like it to be ready and on show in time for

tomorrow's wedding.

The after-dinner disco will take place in here.

This is just fantastic to me.

Absolutely fantastic.

I'm really hopeful it will be a talking point for people when

they visit this--the chapel.

Dick: But Jonathan can't relax.

He needs to know how the engineer is getting on with the

broken lift.

♪ ♪

Dick: The engineer's picked up a spare part, but it's the wrong

size.

He says it's not the same piece, but he says he's going to see if

it will work, so we're still up in the air with it.

Dick: The engineer fits the part, then he goes up in the

lift and comes back down to test it.

If the lift opens, and the lift level is the same as the floor

level, then the man has done it.

Jonathan: Merci, merci bien.

He's fixed it.

- [Michael chuckles] - I know.

Well, you're having the same reaction I had.

Can you imagine what it would have been like?

So I said we'd get him a cold drink.

And have you got some ice in there?

- Yeah-- - Jonathan: Yeah.

A really nice fresh, cold--

Yay, le fixed!

Le fixed!

Yay!

- Yay, le fix! - Man: Oh, sorry.

♪ ♪

Dick: With the lift back in action, the chairs can be

shifted.

Wouldn't fancy carrying these up and down the stairs.

♪ ♪

Dick: And the wine moved to the refrigerators.

[bottles clang]

[birds chirping]

Dick: But just as everything seems to be under control,

on the most stressful weekend of the year, Jonathan and Michael

have another problem.

Unbelievably a water pipe supplying the chateau has just

burst.

So first the lift, and now the blooming water.

Who would want to own a chateau [chuckles]?

[sighs]

Dick: The whole chateau, its 45 guests, and an excited bride and

groom face a wedding day without any running water.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Dick: Chateau Madame sits in a dramatic location, on the edge

of a steep hillside with views across a beautiful Dordogne

Valley.

It's co-owned by lifelong friends, British-born Mandy and

American Steve.

♪ ♪

Mandy and I know each other better than we know ourselves.

It's a very, very nice situation to be in.

Due to coming here and living in France and doing the chateau,

we've become much closer.

Dick: Mandy and Steve are renting this place out for the

first time to holidaymakers this season and have spent the last

three months battling to install a new pool.

Steve: They're not going to be going around with a magnifying

glass seeing the quality of the 17th century fabric we found.

They wanna come here, and they wanna relax.

And they wanna lie by a swimming pool, and that's what I'm

thinking of now.

Dick: Today's the day their first guests arrive.

The pool's been cleaned, and stonemason Didier is here to lay

the jigsaw puzzle of stones, called margelles, around the

pool's edge.

Steve: As hoped, he's great.

He's doing a fantastic job.

He makes it all look so simple.

We're really cracking along here.

I couldn't be more satisfied.

Oh boy, it looks just like a swimming pool.

[both speaking in French]

- Steve: Très bon. - Didier: Très bon.

Steve: Oui.

♪ ♪

Dick: Finally, everything seems to be going along nicely

until--

[thunder rumbles]

Now, I don't know if you can hear that.

There's more thunder.

So, I feel we're making an effect on the larger scale than

it seems.

Dick: Poor Steve.

If it rains, work will have to stop as they can't risk getting

the fresh cement wet.

That is very threatening.

I mean, that's quite a sky.

Hopefully we won't have a tornado just to really make it

exciting.

[thunder peals and rumbles]

Dick: With a sky like that approaching, Steve's not taking

any chances.

So with the help of volunteer Zeke, he's decided to lay

plastic sheets down just in case.

Steve: Let it go in the water a bit 'cause that'll hold it.

Dick: And sure enough, within 15 minutes--

[thunder rumbles]

Steve: We've got plastic ready to go on on this edge right over

there.

[thunder peals]

[thunder rumbles]

Dick: Steve and Didier have little choice but to take cover

and ride out the downpour.

- Oui, exactement. - [laughter]

Dick: But with the guests due to arrive in less than five hours,

they'd better keep everything crossed it'll pass so they can

get on with finishing the job.

[thunder rumbles]

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Dick: At Chateau de Jalesnes, it's the day before the big

summer wedding.

The guests and the bride and groom--Americans David and

Stephanie--will start to arrive any minute.

But owner Jonathan faces a crisis.

He's been called to the gardens where a water pipe has burst.

He's hoping it's not the main supply to the chateau.

I've got to be out of the equation for about an hour.

David and Stephanie are due to arrive in half an hour, and I

need to go and get cleared up.

Dick: Volunteer Alan is trying to assess the damage.

If it is the mains water supply, they may have to shut down the

pipe, leaving the chateau and all the guests without any

water.

Alan: I found the pipe that's leaking.

It's got a split in it.

It looks like it is the main's pipe.

It's one thing after another, so we're--we're here now trying to

sort out a leak.

Unfortunately, the depth that it's at means that it's the

mains pipe.

It's not one of our small irrigation pipes.

Everybody is going to start to arrive and going to be wanting

to shower and things.

And it's August; it's late in the day.

Can you imagine what that would do on the first night of a

wedding party?

♪ ♪

Dick: This wedding is the first big booking from the American

market.

It's a crucial part of their business plan.

Jonathan and Michael cannot afford any hiccups.

We're gonna try and do a temporary repair without turning

it off.

Dick: Volunteer Alan hopes he can maintain a semblance of

water supply to the chateau until a proper plumber can be

called out.

Alan: Just gonna try rubber gloves and cable ties initially.

And then we'll put some more stuff on it.

♪ ♪

Dick: Before Jonathan can call a plumber, he gets pulled away to

greet the bride and groom.

[everyone greeting]

- [cork pops] - Dave: All right.

- Fantastic. - Looks lovely.

So when does everyone start arriving?

- Both: Tomorrow? - Dave: Yeah, tomorrow.

Steph: Tomorrow.

Dick: Jonathan is doing his best to keep calm.

Dave: All right, well thank you so much.

Jonathan and Steph: Cheers.

You know the place now.

We can leave you to your own devices.

- Steph: Exactly. - [everyone cheering]

Dave and Steph: Yay!

Right, we'll get out of your hair, and it's now your home for

the week.

Dave: Ah, it's fantastic.

- Thank you. - Steph: OK, yay!

We'll go get your bags, bring it up to your room.

Dave and Steph: OK.

Dave: All right, well, thank you.

Smashing, good night, see you tomorrow.

Dave: See you guys, thank you.

- I love the stairwell. - Steph: I know.

♪ ♪

Dick: Finally, Jonathan can try the plumber.

♪ ♪

Dick: Meanwhile, Alan's quick fix has slowed the leak down.

Alan: We've reduced it enough that I think we can keep the

chateau on till everyone's had their showers.

Dick: But it won't last forever.

[Jonathan speaking in French]

He's not answering his phone.

It's either because he's on holiday or legitimately he's

finished work for the day, but normally, when he sees my

number, he'll pick it up.

Dick: I hope for your sake someone can come out quickly

because I wouldn't rely on that rubber glove and cable tie

holding much longer.

[birds chirping]

♪ ♪

Dick: Roughly 90 miles north of Jonathan and Michael's, Angel's

candles have had time to set.

Angel: I bought this cup, honestly, 20 years ago in a set,

and I love it.

But it cracked.

Just, you know, wear and tear.

I don't wanna chuck it away [laughs].

I was so attached to it.

Need to give it a couple of seconds more.

I hope Dick notices.

♪ ♪

Hiya.

Smells good, well done.

Very nice.

What's the scent?

- Angel: Lemongrass. - Dick: It's very good.

You're gonna mass produce these now?

Yeah.

Dick: She thinks I'm joking, but this could save us some valuable

pennies for future events we put on here.

And when your business is struggling, like Jonathan and

Michael's, every little helps.

♪ ♪

Dick: It's 10:00 a.m. the next day--the morning of

the wedding--and they're about to fork out £423 to

a couple of plumbers who have had to come out during

French holidays to make sure there's water for the chateau's

45 guests.

At least they find some.

Plumbers are here.

It's looking good because they are nine minutes early,

so that's good by French standards.

Woo, Lulu!

Dick: But while they fix it, they have to turn the water

supply to the chateau off.

Jonathan: Obviously, everybody's going to be wanting to get ready

for the wedding, and there's no water.

Everybody will be wanting breakfast; there's no water.

Lunch, there's no water.

So, it's critical we get this done like now.

Dick: It doesn't help that Jonathan gave the plumbers the

wrong pipe size.

Well, I've been a bit of a chump.

I said it was about 25 millimetres, which is about

that, I think, which is what that looks like [chuckles],

but actually it's nearer 40.

Anyway, laughing apart, I've just now cost us probably 20

minutes because they've got to now go into town to the plumbing

trade supply and pick up the correct piece of pipe.

♪ ♪

Dick: Over in the chateau forest, Michael is checking up

on the new, quickly arranged wedding location, down by a

hunting tower.

Michael: Yeah, so it's looking good.

I like the candelabras, they're cool.

Dick: And it looks like he's learned a lesson on saving money

from Angel.

Inside of spending hundreds on flowers, he's using ivy from the

forest floor.

One of the first things we did when we got to Dick and Angel's

chateau--it was to try and convince Jonathan--or Angel was

trying to convince Jonathan that we could use things like the ivy

to decorate for weddings.

And look, here we are, ivy galore [laughs].

♪ ♪

Dick: Last-minute changes are a wedding planner's nightmare.

After carting 50 chairs into the forest, wedding planner Janet

now has to check that the horse and carriage that'll carry the

bride can actually get to the tower.

I'm not sure whether we might need a cushion in the carriage

for tonight because it's a bit bumpy, but we'll--we might have

to cut a few branches down.

When I left here yesterday, the plan was that we're having the

wedding here.

That was OK.

But the horse and carriage was going to come up this alley to

my right here, which is quite wide, and take a sweep around

and go out on the next alleyway that way.

The bride's now changed her mind because when the chairs are in

place, it doesn't work, so now we're hoping that the horse and

carriage can come down this alley here, which was going to

be the carpark, and go out of the alley that he was supposed

to be coming in on.

Now, if we do it that way, we've got to find somewhere to park

all the cars because we don't want them down there because

they'll be in the photographs.

So that's my next challenge is to find a carpark in the middle

of a forest.

Dick: Meanwhile, the chateau is still without water.

But at least the plumber's back from the shop.

It's not been the best start to the day, but think what the

bride must be feeling.

Jonathan: We're getting some dirty looks as we walk around.

We've already had the bride out to say, you know,

"How long is it really going to be?

Don't just keep saying five minutes, five minutes."

So, they're obviously getting a bit het up, which is not what we

wanted.

♪ ♪

Dick: Michael and Jonathan's future as luxury chateau wedding

hosts rests on how well today goes.

And so far, some of the guests aren't entirely happy.

Some people have gone off without showering, so they're

not gonna be best pleased.

[sighs] Hey-ho.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

♪ ♪

[thunder rumbles]

Dick: Back at Chateau Madame, it's been raining for more than

an hour, stopping Steve and his stonemason Didier from finishing

the pool.

But with the first guests due to arrive in a few hours, Steve's

decided not to waste a single second, so he gets on with

seeding the lawn.

Steve: The sky says it's time to plant grass.

♪ ♪

Dick: Obviously, the lawn won't be ready for Chateau Madame's

first-ever paying guests.

They'll just be happy to get a pool.

♪ ♪

Dick: After two hours, the sky begins to clear.

The Dordogne sun comes out, and Mandy arrives for the final push

before the guests arrive.

I see that the house is being cleaned, and, well, it's looking

pretty amazing.

♪ ♪

Dick: As is the pool, which is finally finished.

Mandy: Wow, look at that.

- Brilliant. - This is fantastic.

- It's really--merci. - Didier: No, no, no.

- [Steve speaking in French] - Didier: No.

Dick: When the grass grows over the next few months, it'll look

even better.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: The storm costs them precious time, and now the heat

is on to get Chateau Madame ready for its guests.

It's 6:30.

I think they're supposed to be here between 7:00 and 8:00.

Dick: You'd better pull your finger out, Steve.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: Just over 200 miles north at Chateau de Jalesnes in the

Loire Valley, Michael and Jonathan are coming to the end

of a stressful couple of days.

Broken lift, a missing Jesus, a last-minute change of location

for the wedding have all been sorted.

And now, thanks to two French plumbers, the burst water mains

has been fixed as well.

That's job well done.

Um...[exhales].

It's a relief [chuckling].

♪ ♪

Dick: 45 guests have now arrived, and the wedding begins

in half an hour.

Janet: Can I give you these, please, if you wouldn't mind

just lighting the candles for me.

I'll give you a spare in case one of them doesn't work.

- Jonathan: OK, will do. - Michael: OK, off we go.

- Janet: I'll see you later. - See you out there.

- Janet: Bye-bye, thank you. - [Michael laughs]

Dick: To make the most of the French late-summer sun, it'll be

an evening wedding.

Jonathan and Michael want to make sure everything from now on

goes without a hitch.

Jonathan: How we doing for time?

Well, it's just gone--coming up to 8:00.

Really?

The guests will be arriving there about 8:00, but the bride

isn't going to be there until about half 8:00, so we just need

to light about 30 candles, and then scoot out of the way.

♪ ♪

Michael: Angel will be proud.

Look at all these ivy.

It's tumbling all over the place.

Jonathan: Well, it's the in thing at the moment, to make it

look old decay grandeur.

♪ ♪

Dick: See, everyone loves a candle or two at a wedding.

Jonathan: That's to keep the mozzies at bay, but I fear that

that's not gonna be enough for 45 people [chuckles].

♪ ♪

Dick: The special moment is almost here.

The guests are arriving.

Have Michael and Jonathan got everything ready in time?

Man: Anywhere but the front row.

Woman: Yeah.

♪ ♪

Dick: at Chateau Madame, Mandy and Steve's first-ever paying

guests are due to arrive any minute.

Mandy: Looks nice now--[chuckles]--now that all

the cement's covered.

Steve: Guys, help.

If it rains, then the roof hasn't got a gutter, so all the

water will run chuk straight down into my--my little garden

here.

Steve: You guys should get--get everything you have and get it

out of the house, and put it in Mandy's.

ASAP.

Don't worry about how it goes; you just have to get it out of

there.

We've got minutes.

Mandy: The pool area looks fantastic.

Bravo, he did it.

♪ ♪

Dick: Outside may be tidy, but inside's another story.

Steve: They're supposed to be here starting right now, and I

haven't even got my stuff out of the room.

- Man: Do you need help? - Steve: Yes, desperately.

Dick: As Steve disappears inside to collect his things...

Mandy: Bonjour!

Dick:--the guests arrive.

[Mandy laughs]

Steve: We're so glad you're here.

Man: So are we.

Steve: It's nice and cool in here.

Man: Wow.

♪ ♪

Dick: Fortunately, they seem as enchanted by this lovely old

chateau as Steve and Mandy are, despite the fact that Steve's

still not quite finished.

Steve: My clothes are still up on the top floor, so if you'll

be a little patient with me.

[laughter]

Mandy: They are in love with it.

Very happy.

The little boy is thrilled to pieces.

He wants to go, you know, knights and castles and god

knows what else.

So for him, it's magic.

Dick: But how does Steve feel?

And when you back away from the great clouds of stone dust, it's

pretty nice.

The pool is finished, the margelles are on.

All the problems are taken care of and solved and are in the

process of being forgotten.

I have to say I'm a little tired, but the bottom line is

it's a complete success.

Dick: Well done, Steve, well done, Mandy.

After the troubles you went through with that pool, you

deserve a rest.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Man: Anywhere but the front row.

Dick: Back at Chateau de Jalesnes, the guests are

arriving, and the initial reaction is a good one.

Oh my god, this is gorgeous.

Oh, so pretty.

Man: See, isn't this a good venue, Mom?

Michael: Looks beautiful, doesn't it?

Yeah.

Really, really lovely.

After all the traumas and tribulations of this week of

getting the last-minute things happening, it's all come

together.

- It's looking pretty good. - Yeah.

It looks really beautiful.

It just makes everything else pale into insignificance.

All that hard work, all that drama, all that running around

like headless chickens, and it just looks beautiful.

- Shall we leave them to it? - Michael: Yeah.

Looks like it's all in order.

- Job well done. - [Michael chuckles]

Come on.

- [Michael exhales] - Jonathan: Massive relief.

Dick: Back at the chateau, the bride is on her way, and she

doesn't even have to watch her step.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Officiant: Stephanie and David, you're now together in the bonds

of matrimony.

I pronounce you husband and wife.

And may I be the first to congratulate you both.

- Both: Thank you. - [cheering, applauding]

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

♪ ♪

Dick: As the sun sets at Chateau de Jalesnes, and the wedding

party's about to go into full swing, three floors up on the

chateau terrace Michael and Jonathan find a moment to relax.

But it's decision time.

After all the hard work and the fiery investor's week, are they

going to stay on here?

Michael: We won't be going from three or four weddings in a

summer; we'll be going to 18, 19 weddings, and bringing that to

loads of people, rather than just one or two.

So, this is gonna be a successful business that's gonna

bring joy and happiness to all the people who come and have

their wedding, their birthday, their anniversary, at Chateau de

Jalesnes.

Dick: Fighting words.

And there's more than just themselves to consider.

If you think about how much money this is bringing to the

economy here, with all these guests staying for a

week--they're hiring kayaks; they're hiring cars; they're

doing their shopping in the local shops, the local

boulangerie.

And this is the sort of thing that invigorates a village

community.

This is not shut off from the world; it's not a stuffy museum;

it's a living, vibrant space.

And we're so proud--so proud that with our partners and with

all the investors that we've been able to bring this chateau

to life.

It's great.

And the more things like this that we can have here, the more

life we can breathe back into the old girl.

Onwards and upwards.

- What do you say? - Who ordered the song?

[laughs]

♪ ♪

Dick: Fantastic news.

I don't doubt yours and Chateau de Jalesnes' future is going to

be a rosy one.

I'm hungry, let's go and have some food.

Come on, Lulu.

Off you go, merry on.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: Next time:

We meet a whole new raft of Brits with a whole new set of

chateau problems.

When two new parents face a mammoth task trying to get the

chateau ready for a holiday season--

I don't know if we can get everything done in time.

Dick:--they call in support.

I was up at 4:00 in the morning.

I didn't know I was gonna be moving paving slab all day.

[woman laughs]

Dick: Or at least they thought they had.

We don't actually know if he's ever really done a full day's

work in his life before.

Dick: One chateau couple gambles everything on a new menu for

their guests.

Colette: It's not going fantastically well.

Dick: Things start to get heated.

- [Patrick winces] - Colette: It's really hot.

Dick: And when I get a call to help one woman search for some

buried chateau booty--

Dick, come and find the treasure for me [laughing].

Dick:--we find ourselves a bit tangled up.

- You wanna go further in? - Donna: This way!

- Now I'm in the trees! - [both laugh]

- Hold on. - [birds chirping]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪