Original subtitles

I'm Dick Strawbridge and along with my wife Angel and our two

children, we left the U.K. for a whole new life in France and

bought this magnificent chateau.

We haven't ever regretted what we've done.

It is so worth it.

We've gradually been making it into our home,

as well as running as a business.

[banging]

That's a long way up.

But it turns out we're not alone, as dozens of Brits are

doing exactly the same thing.

[child yelling]

Sometimes you have to pinch yourself to think,

"I own that."

Dick: In this series, Angel and I will reveal more about our

journey as chateau owners.

Quite a lot of scrap here, it's worth money.

Might be able to pay you this time.

Dick:--and guide these daring Brits where we can.

That's a solid old bridge, matey.

Dick: As they renovate--

Man: This is looking good.

I'm quite happy with this.

Dick:--repair--

I've never done this before so it should be all right.

Dick:--and struggle to transform these buildings into their homes

and businesses.

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

Absolutely magnificent.

Mamma mia!

It's the curse of the accursed pool.

This is not the way to make money.

Dick: But however hard the going gets, these plucky Brits can

always say they're kings and queens of their very own

castles.

Cheers!

Chin chin.

♪ ♪

Dick: Today, there's some surprises when I go in search of

hidden booty in one chateau.

This is why people treasure hunt.

Look at the top there.

Ow!

Dick: Arguments and toilet troubles for two chateau

rookies.

Angelina: What's the point of me being here if you're not going

to listen to me.

♪ ♪

Dick: And a single mom gets more than she bargained for at her

13-bedroom mansion.

Oh, that was your hand!

Don't worry, I've for another one.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: The 17th century, baroque-style Chateau du

Bailleul sits in over six acres of land.

Philip: The festoon lights are going to go along the trees that

way.

Dick: It's home to estate agents Phil and Angelina Baillie-Smith

but they don't own the chateau.

They rented it.

This is a trial run to see if chateau life is for them.

We always said that if you're going to try to make a business

out of a place like this, you've got to go through it yourself.

You're learning if this can be your life.

Dick: They're hosting a 50th anniversary party here in the

Pays de la Loire.

I've already helped them build a bridge for it.

It's a solid old bridge, matey.

Philip: It is.

Dick: But now the event, their very first one, is closing in

fast.

Yeah, less than a month until really, the deadline.

Yeah, you gotta try to prioritize it one to ten.

Everything being one and nothing being ten.

Dick: But Phil's top priority at the moment is far from

glamorous.

He needs to sort out the toilets for the partygoers.

♪ ♪

Dick: They're directly above an old septic tank and there's

rising damp.

There's some sort of damp membrane that's retained

moisture and it's just soaked through so it's hard making it

look like something you'd actually want to use rather than

part of the horror movies.

Dick: Horror is definitely not the theme of the 50th wedding

anniversary celebration they're hosting so Phil needs to get

stuck in.

Philip: Ah, this is the glamorous chateau life that

everyone thinks I need.

Trying to avoid getting my face near to the toilet as much as

possible

Dick: Unfortunately Phil, there are no easy jobs in a chateau

but some are cleaner than others.

I'm making bath bombs for all the guests that are coming.

The difference between me and Phil is that I'm quite creative

and always done like decorating and ideas.

Little self-touches, upholstering, painting,

furnishing.

That is my strength.

Phil loves the manly job roles.

Philip: Smells wonderful.

[coughs]

Angelina: We certainly established the rules of the

household, so to speak.

Philip: Oh, glamorous.

I'm going to add rose fragrance oil.

You want to be able to throw in a bath bomb and the whole room

fills with scent to take you away to a nice and more relaxing

place.

Philip: That smells wonderful.

[sniffing]

Dick: Phil thinks he's got a solution to the damp problem.

With a little luck, a dehumidifier will solve the

issue in time for me to decorate for the party.

Let's rip it all off and see what happens.

♪ ♪

[paper ripping]

Let's add a bit of colour.

It's just a bit of fun play with the colours so it doesn't really

matter.

It's whatever the interior you're trying to match it to.

Dick: The colour scheme is the least of Phil's worries.

Philip: I might end up putting lining paper over the problem

again for a second time.

♪ ♪

I always hate when they fall apart and crumble.

But yay!

This one come out great!

Dick: Angelina's bath bombs may be good to go but with just a

few weeks before the first paid event, the toilet is anything

but.

They're a lot damper than I thought.

You can actually feel the moisture in it.

I'm a little bit worried that I won't have enough time before

the party for it to let this dry out and then be able to decorate

it properly.

Dick: There's little option but to wait and pray the damp dries

out in time.

Not only can I feel Philip's pain, I think I can smell it as

well.

♪ ♪

Dick: This is the magnificent Chateau de Jalesnes.

It's the home of British couple Michael and Jonathan.

Three years ago, they swapped life in London, working as a

social housing manager and a buyer, for a new life in the

Loire Valley.

We thought it was too good an opportunity to miss.

Dick: With the help of investors, they've converted it

into 15 holiday apartments and a wedding venue.

But with only a handful of weddings booked so far this

year, they haven't made a profit yet.

They've decided this year is make-or-break for them.

Jonathan: Do you know I haven't earned anything until it starts

making money.

We've got to make a decision:

Can we still sustain the two of us being here?

Dick: They're doing everything they can to keep the costs down

and attract more guests to stay at the chateau.

Recently, they explored some of the chateau's many caves,

looking for anything of value.

Jonathan: Wow, oh my goodness.

♪ ♪

Dick: They found 40 bottles of wine dating back to the 1970s--

Motherlode!

Dick:--which they plan to share with wine buffs and connoisseurs

staying at the chateau.

Jonathan: 1995.

Dick: Increasing the experience and appeal of staying at this

amazing place.

And they find a well.

We got water!

Dick: A valuable free source of water that Jonathan plans on

trying to extract later.

♪ ♪

Dick: Today, I'm going to help Jonathan search for something in

one of the sealed-up caves.

In the back of the car, I've got my tools.

We're going exploring.

[laughing]

Ah, boys will play.

That's not a small chateau.

♪ ♪

Hello, Dick.

Jonathan, hello!

Lovely to meet you!

And you, thanks ever so much for coming.

I've actually got my tools in the back of the car.

If I just grab those, can we go and have a look at some of these

caves?

Sure!

♪ ♪

Jonathan: Straight out of the gate there around the block.

Dick: The chateau's moat is over 30-feet wide, 16-feet deep, and

runs around the building for almost a quarter of a mile.

You can get a bus down here so my car's no problem.

♪ ♪

Dick: This is just sort of a playground for boys, isn't it?

The things you can do.

There's an awful lot of wear on these stones and they're

sedimentary.--they're quite soft.

You can see them crumbling around you.

Jonathan: Well, that's the effect of the water.

Dick: But it is safe, isn't it?

Well, in the main, yes.

Dick: Mm, I'll take Jonathan's word for it.

So what are we looking for then?

Jonathan: We had a Facebook message from one of the girls

who was at school here who said that she was looking out of the

windows and before the Germans left, she saw them putting the

wine into the caves and breaking them up afterwards.

Dick: The German Army occupied the chateau during the Second

World War.

And of course, if it was good enough to break up,

it was good wine.

Yeah, that's what I think.

Dick: There could be more wine, as if they haven't found enough

already.

Dick: Okay, I've got some drills, some hammer.

Jonathan: There is one, for instance, that you could get

into.

And then--

Dick: That's amazing.

Jonathan:--there's others.

Dick: Michael and Jonathan have nine breaked-up caves coming off

their moat.

Today we'll have time to search just one for the fabled hidden

wine.

Which one?

Which one?

Jonathan: Here's one.

Look.

For instance, look at this one.

The really exciting thing about it is, we've got no ideas.

Jonathan: No clue.

This is why people treasure hunt because in here, there could be

anything.

And we're going 50/50.

No.

Dick: I don't think Michael would approve that one.

No, he wouldn't.

Nor would the French government either.

Dick: Really?

No, they--we have--in our contract, it says that anything

that we discover is given over to the state so, shh.

Dick: Okay.

If we find anything, keep quiet everyone, right?

Now what we're going to do, I'm going to take this bit out over

here, go down between those bricks 'cause--[knocking].

- I've got no idea. - Jonathan: Yeah.

- Dick: You up for it? - I'm up for it.

Dick: Okay.

Smashing through this wall with a sledgehammer risks damaging

whatever goodies lie within.

Instead, I'm using my power drill for a more targeted

approach.

- You happy with that? - Yeah, I am.

[drilling]

It's going in quite easy.

That's not a bad place to choose, is it?

There we go.

[drilling]

Jonathan: How far are you in there?

Dick: Hold on.

[drilling]

Okay, so six inches, eight inches.

[Jonathan laughing]

[drilling]

Dick: This is for checking out drains and I've got it for when

we got problems with sort of the sewage.

It kind of varies on the chateau that we use it on.

Like a little camera.

It also has a light it can turn on.

This is the first light that's gone in there for we don't even

know how long.

It could be 50, it could be 100.

Case over here.

Case over here.

So you can see the screen.

- See the screen? - Yeah, yeah.

Feel a bit queasy.

Feel like one of those doctors.

[laughing]

I think your horse has definitely got a problem.

Arthroscopy.

Here we go.

Watch, watch, watch, watch.

It's your cave, it opens up.

So we don't know where we can see.

That looks like there's light reflecting off things there,

doesn't it?

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: In the heart of France, proudly stands Chateau du

Masgelier.

Dating back to 1174, the medieval castle has had many

noble owners, including the Knights Templar and King Louis

XIV.

Now, it's home to this nine-year-old Louis and his mom

Fiona.

Fiona: I think my interest in period properties started as a

child.

I used to play in a very big country house and I always used

to think, "Yeah, I'm going to get myself one of these one

day."

♪ ♪

I spent 30 years in the U.K. in property development so

to buy the castle, it seemed very logical to me that it

would be the next biggest challenge to take.

♪ ♪

Dick: Located in the Limousin region of France, it's got 13

bedrooms, a 14-bed coach house, a chapel, and some medieval

dungeons.

Similar chateaux are on the market for about £900,000 at the

moment.

Most people would admit that they do have that fantasy, that

notion.

"Wouldn't it be lovely to have a castle?'

Dick: Yeah, very romantic in theory.

Fiona's had to put in a bucketload of work to get this

840-year-old relic looking like it does now and there's still

plenty more to do.

I remember arriving and sitting on my bed that night just

crying, thinking, "Oh my God, what have you actually done?"

Dick: She started by converting the servants' quarters for her

and Louis into an apartment with all mod cons.

It's five years on.

He loves the castle.

Wouldn't want to live anywhere else.

Dick: The long-term plan is to rent out some of the chateau's

13 bedrooms as a B&B but there's still a lot of work to do before

that's possible.

♪ ♪

Dick: Fiona's been working almost entirely singlehandedly,

all paid for by using life savings from her past property

developments.

♪ ♪

I'm doing it on my own because it gives me a sense of

achievement at this stage of my life.

This is kind of going to be my baby.

This is kind of the haul.

Dick: But there's a catch:

There's a limited time each year Fiona can get the work done.

There are certain works that you can only really do when the

weather is very, very warm because castles generally are

very, very cold and coal.

So the painting, wallpapering, once it hits, I'd say, October,

you can forget that right through to March and because the

wallpaper will not take so it's a total waste of time.

So more pressure's on because you know--[gasps]--it won't be

until the following year that you can really get works done.

Dick: Fiona's been having ongoing problems with the

electrics.

Some of the floors have not been updated for maybe 30 years.

Dick: This is one job Fiona can't tackle herself.

She's called her mate, electrician Pete, to try and fix

the issue once and for all.

So every time I turn on the electricity box, it works for a

while and then it's just tripping out.

Okay.

And at times, it's taking the other levels out as well at the

same time.

Yesterday, it did work.

It was fine, it was running.

It was fine all day?

Fiona: All day and then today, it's been very temperamental.

Dick: First, Pete has to find the fuse box where the problem

is.

Trial and error, basically.

Dick: Eventually, he finds it on the first floor.

♪ ♪

Pete:OK, t's actually down there that's giving us problems.

Dick: Unfortunately, now he has to go through all the lights

from the first floor to find the fault.

If he can't find the problem, Fiona can end up having to

rewire this whole section of the chateau, a cost of thousands she

just doesn't have the budget for.

Trying to find problems in a place this size gotta be a real

nightmare.

It just feels never ending and the money's going out and

nothing's coming in and you just see this bank balance going down

and down and down.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: A 200-mile drive northwest of Fiona's, I'm hunting for a

stash of wine, supposedly hidden by the Germans in one of

Jonathan and Michael's sealed-up caves and we've spotted

something shiny.

Do you know what we could do?

We could put another hole a couple of inches lower down.

Jonathan: Uh hmm.

Maybe six or four inches lower down and then we've got some

light coming in the top hole.

Maybe shine a torch in the top.

Jonathan: You want some material.

Here we go.

[drilling]

Dick: Right, we're going in again.

See if we get any more light.

Here we go.

♪ ♪

Hey, hey, hey!

What's that?

Jonathan: That's glass.

That's a bottle.

That's a [bleep] bottle!

It's a bottle!

[Jonathan laughing]

Jonathan: It is, isn't it?

That's the neck of a bottle.

It's more than one bottle, mate.

- Jonathan: Yes, it is. - Dick: It's confirmed!

We have a positive sighting.

Even a lower-end bottle of wine from the 1940s could be worth as

much as 100 quid.

Jonathan, if you're up for it, I'm going to put a couple more

holes in here.

[drilling]

Boy, this is now--we're hammering it out.

This is the same as a hammer chisel.

[drilling]

Jonathan: Or a knife in butter.

Dick: Whoa, that is so soft.

I have to be careful.

I don't want to bring down any stone in there.

♪ ♪

[drilling]

You're not through, are you?

- You are. - I am through.

Dick: There's more in the back.

Hold on, we don't want any of that to fall inwards, do we.

Reach over--ow!

[laughter]

Can you help me?

Ow.

I'll tell you why "Ow."

Dick: That's what we saw.

That's champagny type stuff, you know, or brandy.

Dick: Champagne doesn't last as well as wine but one unspoiled

bottle could be worth between 100 and 200 pounds.

Jonathan: Oh, wow.

It goes right--I should--right up the back.

Dick: There's an awful lot of broken glass in there.

Are there any still in one piece?

Jonathan: And there's one sitting right within tantalizing

distance.

It's still got the neck on it.

I bet that's the champagne bottle.

Is it now?

And one's got a stopper in.

- No way! - Yes, yes, yes, yes.

- No way. - Yes, yes, yes.

Let me have a turn too.

I think--it's very dark--I think there's one in there that's

still got the cap on top of it.

So...

Ready?

Oh!

♪ ♪

Dick: Oh, no.

Oh man, that's just--

I'm parched just looking at it.

Dick: So sad.

It's a beautiful bottle.

I thought it was going to be this one.

Dick: Well, it's frustrating but this has been fascinating.

These bottles could have been hidden by the Germans at the

tail end of the Second World War.

But the cave's sandstone is constantly being eroded by water

and unfortunately, over the years, it's fallen down and

smashed Chateau de Jalesnes' precious cargo.

But I'll tell you what.

I have got a bottle of that 1979 we found, if you fancy having a

glass.

Okay.

[laughter]

Dick: This is a wine Jonathan and Michael find before.

I hope it survived the 38 years.

♪ ♪

Dick: Just over 100 miles northwest at Chateau du

Bailleul--

[Philip grunts]

Dick:--it promises to be another busy day for Phil and Angelina.

Beautiful, having lots of space for obviously, events and stuff.

There's a downside sometimes.

When you get to the end of the day, you look at your phone and

your step count is up to like 30,000 and you actually haven't

gone anywhere.

You've just been walking around with some wood.

Dick: They're hosting their first-ever paid event in just

over a week.

While Phil waits for the toilets to dry out, he's making a start

on the other part of his master plan.

The outdoor bar he's promised the party clients.

There's never been anything particularly simple at this

house.

This is the bar.

Dick: They need to make this 50th wedding party a success to

prove to themselves they have the mettle to run a permanent

chateau business.

[banging]

Philip: Careful.

Hi!

The event is extremely close now and I'm pretty nervous.

I'll say it.

When Angelina isn't here, my worries that if we don't make

this event a success, I could handle that but I don't think

Angelina could.

Angelina's tolerance for making a success about this place is a

lot lower than mine.

I don't know what we'll do if this fails.

I think we'll have to rethink whether we can make it, you

know.

Are we good at this and we'd have to go back to England and

resume our lives and go to normal, you know, day jobs that

are not as exciting as this.

Not, you know, having adventure of, you know, looking after,

you know, great big old chateau.

♪ ♪

Dick: The outdoor bar was a key part of Phil's sales pitch for

the party.

It's taking shape.

It's looking like a bar.

♪ ♪

Dick: On the night, this bar will be serving up to 60 people.

Oh...

The bend in the wood.

[grunting]

[banging]

Philip: I can see it!

It's going to happen!

Ah!

I think we've done it.

♪ ♪

Philip: One last thing.

Dick: With the bar furnishings in place, Phil's ready for his

first customer.

Wow!

What do you think?

Some lighting, bunting, you know.

It will be stunning.

Philip: Yeah, I'm really glad you're envisaging all of these

things 'cause once I finish building it, that's what you're

doing.

Can you pour me a drink then?

Angelina [gasps]: I love it!

You come prepared!

[laughing]

- It's wine or wine? - Wine will be fine.

♪ ♪

- Cheers. - To the bar.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: I'm at Chateau de Jalesnes, about to taste one of

the 40 bottles of wine Jonathan and Michael found in one of

their caves.

♪ ♪

Dick: It's glorious up here, isn't it?

Jonathan: It is.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

That's our escape.

Can't shake this at all, can you?

Jonathan: No.

Wow, 1979.

Dick: '79 isn't generally regarded as a good year in

France but I'll tell you what.

I'll just be amazed if this 38-year-old wine hasn't spoiled

and if it hasn't, it will be a good indication that the other

39 bottles could be in good nick too.

I really feel very privileged.

This was actually bottled the year I became a second

lieutenant in the British Army.

[cork pops]

Oh.

- Got it? - Oh my, Jonathan!

Doesn't smell vinegary, does it?

No, that's good!

We're all right.

That's not corked at all.

Jonathan: Huh.

That's actually very special.

Yeah.

That really surprised the hell out of me.

Yeah, look at the lovely colour.

Dick: Jonathan decants it to separate out any sediment and

let the wine breathe.

Jonathan: I'm going to put a bit of air in it now.

For a bit.

Dick: That's fine.

So this is the thing to do.

What a cracking way to end the way.

Thank you, sir!

Cheers.

♪ ♪

Hey!

[laughing]

That is surprisingly good.

♪ ♪

Wow.

That is amazing.

Actually, the second gulp is even better.

That is decidedly good.

It was worth it, wasn't it?

Life in a chateau is not too terrible, is it?

Not at moments like these.

Dick: It's been a good day for Jonathan.

So the hoard of hidden German wine didn't survive.

But if the wine I tasted today is anything to go by, the other

bottles could attract Chateau de Jalesnes wine-loving guests.

♪ ♪

Dick: Just under 200 miles southeast, Fiona Jones has spent

the last five years renovating her gorgeous 12th century

chateau.

This summer, she's been tackling its ground floor.

She already rents out rooms to guests in the estate's

three-bedroom gîtes and eventually wants to do the same

with rooms in the 13-bedroom chateau.

Today, Pete, her trusted electrician, is trying to find

the faulty circuit that's causing the fuses to blow on all

four floors of the chateau.

Pete: It might be a loose cable somewhere which is sad because

it's an itty problem and it could all circuit out.

Dick: Meanwhile, Fiona's getting on with decorating the dining

room.

It hasn't been used as a dining room for forever.

The whole wall's been plastered now in a nice English plaster so

that needs sealing and painting for defore or papering.

Originally, the room would have had this panelling from the

floor to the ceiling.

Dick: Fiona finds some of the wood panels hidden behind a

false wall.

Others have been turned into doors.

She's bringing the treasures back to their original home

here.

That's going to look really nice once that's stained and

varnished.

Dick: It's a two-person job so she's called in builder Dave to

help.

She just needs to decide which panel she wants where.

Fiona: Hold on, that's damaged.

We won't use that one.

We'll use the damaged one at the far end where it doesn't show so

much.

Fiona: Ready?

Go.

Thank you.

That one's a bit taller as well, isn't it?

Fiona: Okay, move it along.

We'll try another one.

[gasping]

Nearly.

Oh!

Nearly.

Fiona: Okay, that's not going to work either, is it?

Dave: That's what I'm getting at.

Fiona: It's Laurel and Hardy, isn't it?

Dave: Just a little bit, yeah.

♪ ♪

Dick: Fiona's already under pressure to get this work done

before the winter hits and it's too cold for plaster, paint and

wallpaper to hold.

But she's made other plans that are adding to the stress.

I'm going to host an event at the end of July.

The mayor is going to attend.

He's very interested in seeing what I've been doing up here.

I do at least need to have the dining room complete so then

with the event, I can show everybody the whole of the

ground floor.

So the pressure's on.

Dick: It's a lot of work to finish in just nine weeks.

Dave: Small ones together, bigs together.

Fiona: No, looks awful.

Dave: Looks awful?

Fiona: Yeah, no, I don't like it.

Small big, small big, small big.

We'll hire a domestic now.

Dick: Looks like sparks are starting to fly here and are

hopefully about to upstairs 'cause Pete thinks he's solved

the problem of the tripping electrics.

Pete: Problem is here.

You've got a bad connector on the neutral and it's touching

this and that's what's causing the problem.

♪ ♪

Dick: Something as simple as two bare wires touching each other

has been tripping the whole chateau on and off for the past

five years.

All Pete needs to do is replace the wires, a two-minute job.

Quick job.

Okay, that's a job done.

Everything's done.

Dick: That quick fix has potentially saved Fiona

thousands of pounds.

Hey, give me five, Pete!

Hey!

Dick: She counts herself lucky that she's found a top team to

work with over here.

It's purely coincidental that the few people that I do and

have come in to work with me are English expats.

It wouldn't matter to me.

You could be French, English, any nationality, as long as you

get my electricity all sorted.

That's all I care about but I can cook.

Dick: And she's finally happy with the order of the panelling.

Dave's supposed to be fixing it to the wall.

[drilling]

Fiona: That's my hand there.

Oh, that was your hand!

Don't worry, I've got another one.

Sorry.

[laughing]

Sorry.

[drilling]

Dick: But there's still a lot to get done before Fiona's ready

for her big party reveal.

This wall needs to be plastered and then would have to be sealed

with paints and then wallpapered as well and then it's just the

flooring that's left.

God, I've got so much decorating to do.

You have.

[Fiona laughing]

♪ ♪

Dick: At Chateau de Jalesnes in the Loire Valley, after

previously discovering a well in one of their caves, Jonathan and

volunteers Cohen and Thomas are trying to test how easily they

can extract water from it.

It's costing us 7,000 euros a year to water the back garden.

That equates to the profit from 210 guests so we have to have

210 people here before we've even been paid to water the

garden.

Dick: Jonathan has hired the biggest submersible water pump

he could find.

We discovered the well but we don't know quite how much

water's in there.

So we need to jack up a pump, dangle it down into the well so

that we can test how much is coming out.

I'm hoping it's going to be like an American oil gusher.

Dick: It's certainly a big pump, bigger than they probably need

for this job.

It's a serious bit of kit.

I mean, that's even bigger than a fireman's hose.

Is that going to go through that hole?

- We measured it so... - Jonathan: Okay.

♪ ♪

Don't put yourself at risk.

Whatever you do, let the thing go, all right?

It's going down!

Jonathan: Don't risk yourself.

Okay, all right.

Good luck, guys.

I'm going up to turn the machine on.

See you in a bit.

Cross your fingers.

We're ready.

Dick: A big pump needs a big generator.

Hopefully, Jonathan can operate it.

So I'm just trying to remember what they told me this morning.

[laughing]

How to start up.

"Don't do this, don't do that and whatever you do, don't do

the other."

I can't remember this, that, or the other.

[laughing]

So, in for a penny.

Come on.

[motor whirring]

Yes!

Yes, turn it on.

Now the moment of truth.

I'm going to belt like the clappers 'cause I want to see it

coming out the other end.

Ready?

I'm off!

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[water gushing]

Jonathan: Oh my God!

All right.

Dick: It's going great until...

It's going down.

I don't really know what to make of it.

Starting to get--starting to get mixed feelings as to whether

it's actually going to work or not.

♪ ♪

Dick: Is this all the water that's down there or does the

answer lie with the humongous pump they're using?

Meanwhile, back at Chateau Bailleul, Phil and Angelina have

just a week left before hosting their first-ever paid event:

a 50th wedding anniversary party.

Pressure's mounting because we're very, very close and the

toilets are the most important thing that I've actually had to

do here and I still haven't done them.

Dick: Severe damp in the toilet is refusing to dry out.

♪ ♪

This wall needs to be completely scraped off and ideally, at that

point, you plaster it, you paint it.

Don't have any time for that so I've got to hide it for the

party.

♪ ♪

Dick: Phil's quick fix is to stretch fabric over the toilet's

unsightly walls.

We have to stretch material over the top and I'm just looking at

the measurements.

And then, wood panel up to here which we're faking with a bit of

ply.

Dick: Meanwhile...

Whee!

Awesome, this is fun.

Dick: Upstairs, Angelina's putting her design skills to

good use.

Phil is relying on me to find the best fabrics suitable for

the toilet.

We're pretty limited on time now.

There's only, you know, a few days left so I'm trying to do

this as quickly as possible, hand it over to Phil, Phil then

completes that job and make it look great.

'Cause this is important.

You can't just walk into that toilet.

You'll be shock horrified, you know.

They'll be known as the worst toilets alive, you know.

Dick: Angelina's fabric will cover the top half of the walls

above new wooden panels that Phil is constructing.

He's aiming for an old-style look with modern materials.

♪ ♪

If we can use this, put a little square in the middle of it, when

it's painted, to a quick glance, it will look like it's some

original wood panelling and hopefully, no one will realize

I've put a little bit of ply and some decorative beading.

[staples punching]

[sighs]

Philip: Come on.

It's a fraction off level but they are toilets, after all,

not an art gallery.

- Angelina: Here you go. - Philip: You think?

Angelina: That's really lovely.

Going to be actually in keeping with the character of the

chateau.

I'm really pleased with that.

Feeling quite positive and hopefully that's going to be a

quite quick turnaround.

I think it will be, anyways.

♪ ♪

Dick: It seems an end to their toilet trauma could be in sight.

Angelina: I could have ironed this.

Philip: Yeah, well, you could have done lots of things.

Dick: Or maybe not.

Angelina: Are you planning on stapling this?

Yes, put it corner to corner and yes.

Just a couple of holes, start from the middle and you work

your way up.

I need to be able to see how it's hanging.

Angelina: This isn't stretched but yeah.

Phil: Yeah well, can you lean over and do that while I'm

holding up?

Angelina: Oh my God, it's too hot.

Philip: Yes, I'm well aware.

Philip: Fingers move.

Not that close to my finger.

No higher than--

Philip: Fingers away.

I'm not moving my finger.

[Philip sighs]

[staples punching]

Angelina: Confined space, halogen bulb, two people,

horrendous smell.

Dick: And that rising temperature is causing rising

tempers.

Same thing you do here.

You're supposed to do the middle and then the sides.

Philip: Why--

Angelina: Because you already started on the corner and it's

at an angle which I can see.

It's like this.

What's the point of me being here if you're not going to

listen to me?

That's at an angle.

I can see it.

[drops stapler]

♪ ♪

Now I have to waste my time and wait for him to come back.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: 270 miles southeast, for Fiona, sometimes chateau

renovations have to take a back seat to normal everyday life.

We're just going to go and collect Louis now.

Dick: Fiona's little boy gets dropped off by the school bus,

which also very conveniently acts as Fiona's personal courier

service.

Merci, thank you.

The coach driver's kindly dropped off the delivery of

emergency paint for the dining room.

That's very, very common in this small little community.

Everybody kind of helps each other.

Dick: Fiona also needs the paint for an 18th century staircase

that she's renovating in the north wing.

The size of the staircase, and just for the use for the

servants demonstrates how rich the family actually was.

Dick: These days, all it demonstrates is how damp and

rotten it is after years of neglect.

And you can see on the old lights here, all of the red dust

from the spores, from the wet rot and the dry rot.

Dick: As well as causing structural damage, some damper

mould can cause skin irritation and breathing problems.

Fiona: I'm just getting the majority of the fungus removed

and then a nice rough sandpaper will clean this up completely.

Dick: Then Fiona will use a chemical treatment to stop it

returning.

But next for today, ripping out the old door.

Fiona: This wall was put up to separate the staff when it was

run as an equestrian centre in the 1980s.

Dick: One of my favourite things about chateaux are the constant

surprises.

Some pleasant, some just plain weird.

This did have a tongue-and-groove wall,

but they've kind of filled in a gap with hundreds of pairs

of socks just used as tuck of insulation.

♪ ♪

This has gotta be my first--of all of my renovation jobs for 30

years, I've never seen anyone use socks as insulation.

♪ ♪

I've saved you some socks.

Saved me some, great.

Fiona: What size shoe are you?

I've heard you're size 2.

Ladies size.

[Dave muttering]

Dave: Never mind.

Dick: Dave removes the rest of the wooden beams that supported

the old wall and ceiling above the door.

Dave: You're asking me to come out.

♪ ♪

Dave: I'll pass that to you, Fiona?

Do mind the nails.

[sawing]

♪ ♪

Dave: All righty.

All done, all right.

Dave: Phew!

It's very nice to see it gone.

I think that's been enclosed for about 40 years.

It will be beautiful.

I keep telling myself that.

[laughing]

- Dave: It will. - Dick: Fingers crossed.

♪ ♪

Dick: At Chateau du Bailleul, Philip and Angelina have made up

over the toilet.

We can get away with just one toilet for the day.

Angelina: I don't think so.

Dick: Angelina finishes hanging the cloth that will hide the

toilet-stained walls.

Philip: Spent the entire day in a toilet, comes in and swoops in

for the glory.

[staple punches]

Angelina: Yay!

I'm really, really pleased.

I'm actually really good at this.

[laughing]

Living in a chateau, you imagine it's going to be a fairy tale

but the mountain of work that goes with it, along with

starting a business, it takes its toll.

We're both sensible enough to know there's a bigger picture,

you know.

Small arguments now for a better life in the future is not a

problem.

Yeah.

Philip: We're on the home stretch.

I'll have a working toilet downstairs.

[staple punches]

Angelina: This is how it was before and this is how it is

now.

The fabric has covered everything that's horrid and

lurking behind it.

It's better than a wallpaper or paint because it's actually

letting the wall breathe through the fabric so the longer it

stays on, the longer it will dry out.

Dick: With the fabrics hung and panels in place, that's one

guest toilet nearly ready.

It's going to look better than I think I expected.

I can see the end result.

Need to finish off some finer details, actually for the

toilet.

Dick: With one toilet patched up and the bar built, it's been a

productive few days.

That is something to drink to celebrate.

Today's been a tough day.

Dick: But with less than a week before the party, there's still

a huge amount to do.

It's all or nothing.

If we don't get it right, we really have to evaluate if we're

capable of doing this moving forward.

It's like make-or-break to the life that you really want.

It's just life, I guess.

It's our life.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: At Chateau de Jalesnes, Jonathan was using a powerful

pump to extract a free source of water from a well, potentially

saving him 7,000 euros a year in water bills for their 20-acre

garden when it stopped.

I was very excited because it came gushing out.

We'll have to look down the well now and see what's left.

Dick: Volunteer Cohen is still hopeful.

Hmm, there is still some water.

- There is? - Yeah, yeah.

Dick: The big pump wasn't pushed far enough into the well.

We reposition the pump.

Jonathan: Okay.

So we think we're going to give it another try.

Jonathan: Superb.

I'll go back up.

Let me know when you want it turned on.

Good luck.

♪ ♪

Okay.

Whew.

All right, we can give it another go.

♪ ♪

Cohen: Here it comes.

[water gushing]

Dick: The pump pulls up the last of the water.

There was enough there to water their 7-acre garden at least

once.

But nothing to check that the water replenishes itself.

Otherwise, this well is useless.

Because the real test is: Does the thing refill so we know

whether we got a go or not?

Dick: They'll come back after a coffee to find out.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: Back in central France, Fiona's been restoring a

300-year-old staircase.

She's putting up some ugly felt left over for in this part of

the chateau was home to a caretaker who clearly kept a lot

of cats.

There's got to be over 100 steps here so all of this is literally

been soaked in cat urine.

That's why it smells so bad.

It's actually making my eyes sting at the moment.

Dick: Fiona's vision is to re-create how the staircase

would have looked in its prime in the 1700s.

Fiona: Only 99 steps to go.

I want to try and preserve all of the wood.

I don't want to carpet it.

I just want to make it look as best--as original as possible.

Dick: Take note, people.

Everyday chateau life definitely isn't always living like kings

and queens.

Sometimes the reality is more Cinderella.

Fiona: There's mouse poo on that as well.

[ripping]

Fiona: Big cobwebs under there.

It's a good job I'm not scared of spiders, isn't it?

The spiders in the castle are so huge, you hear them running

across the floor like they've got boots on.

♪ ♪

Dick: After an hour of graft, that's just one flight of stairs

cleared.

There's three more and months of work before the staircase is

restored.

All of the steps are going to need to be sanded and then also,

we're talking about each landing as well.

Dick: Seems to me Fiona's taking on an awful lot.

Let's hope she finishes it in time for the mayor's visit in

nine weeks.

♪ ♪

Dick: At Chateau de Jalesnes, Jonathan and volunteers Cohen

and Thomas are waiting to see if the well refills with water.

Yeah, it's definitely filling up.

You absolutely sure?

Yeah, it's bubbling.

Jonathan: That's great news.

That means we've got a constant supply.

The only thing that we did wrong here was that we've got a pump

that's far too big for the amount of water that we've got

in the well.

I think we get a smaller pump, you have a very good supply of

water.

I couldn't be happier.

[laughter]

Jonathan: Thanks, guys.

Thank you.

Dick: It's official.

Jonathan and Michael have just secured a saving of 7,000 euros

a year.

♪ ♪

Why isn't this coming up?

It should be coming up.

That's if they can get that oversized pump back out again.

[grunting]

♪ ♪

Is it still full of water.

Dick: As well as being a tight squeeze, the pump weighs a hefty

50 kilos.

Jonathan: Can we attach it to the car and then pull it out

with the car?

We could have a disaster because if both ropes snap then we've

lost the pump down there.

Dick: Ideally, you'd use a four-wheel drive with a winch

and metal cable for this job.

Jonathan has a Renault People Carrier and what looks like a

clothesline.

[beeping]

Cohen: Slow.

♪ ♪

- How far is it? - Couple of metres.

Cohen: Stop, stop!

Stop the engine.

Dick: Phew!

This free water supply has been a great find.

It's surprises like these that can make all the difference when

running a chateau.

It's part of what makes it enjoyable.

[laughing]

Dick: Next time: Stop it!

Get away!

Dick: Jonathan and Michael deal with the arrival of the

chateau's investors.

I wasn't expecting quite the backlash.

Dick: It's a mad rush for Phil and Angelina to set up the

anniversary party at their chateau.

Angelina: Loads of nails fell into that sink.

Philip: That's okay.

Just exhausted, really.

Dick: And Fiona struggles to get her chateau ready for the

mayor's visit.

Fiona: I'm rushing, thinking about Louis.

Grab a tea, stay.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪