Original subtitles

That's me, Dick Strawbridge, my darling wife Angel, and our two

beautiful children.

[woman yelling]

Dick: Nearly three years ago, we upped sticks for a whole new

life in France and bought this magnificent chateau.

Angel: Oh!

Whoa!

Dick: We've been doing it up ever since.

Woman: Oh baby, you're so strong.

Dick: Turns out, we're not the only ones.

Woman: Oh yeah, yeah.

[clattering]

Woman: Oops.

Dick: Dozens of Brits are taking the plunge to rescue these

stunning buildings.

[banging]

Woman: What amazing colours!

Man: We need to get on top of it.

Man: Get on top of the goats?

Dick: In this series, we'll reveal more of how we're running

our chateau as a business--

Dick: Ah!

Back on dry land.

I'm still finding things that I haven't seen.

Dick: And we'll help these daring families run theirs.

Muah.

Here's to the meeting of two like-minded couples.

- Yes, cheers. - Cheers.

Dick: As they face the highs--

I'm absolutely terrified.

Dick:--and lows--

♪ ♪

Woman: It's extremely expensive.

It's financial suicide.

Dick:--of ruining these gorgeous buildings as everything from

B&Bs to beautiful wedding venues.

Owning a chateau isn't glamorous.

[coughing]

Woman: Anyone who thinks it is, is delusional.

[tree falls]

♪ ♪

Dick: Today, frustrations rise when entertaining friends at one

chateau--

Rachel wants to have a good breakfast.

You can't keep everybody else waiting.

Dick: The quirks of looking for your dream chateau.

♪ ♪

Does he stay with the house?

Dick: And I offer my skills to a couple attempting to build an

ambitious bridge.

It's not quite a bridge yet.

It's a bit wobbly and it's a bit bouncy.

You're looking a bit concerned, thug.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: Chateau du Bailleul is the home of Philip and Angelina who

are looking to swap their estate agent jobs in England for

running a chateau here in France.

Angelina: London is a great life for a limited amount of time.

You know, work as hard as you can, earn as much as you can.

Save, then get out as quickly as you can, you know.

And it's true.

Dick: Chateau du Bailleul is in the Pays de la Loire.

And Philip and Angelina are renting it as an events venue

before deciding whether to buy their own chateau.

Philip: I think my boot's leaking.

Dick: Today, they need to build a bridge across a moat so that

guests can cross to a marquee for their first paid booking

here in a few weeks.

Philip: It's not just a, "Hey, here's a big house.

Come along have a party."

There's so much stuff that goes on with it that a venue has that

we just don't.

What most people don't realize is the physical cost of trying

to get everything together so you've actually got something to

sell to people as an event venue.

[grunt]

Angelina: Yeah, something like that.

You know, right now, we're doing everything for the party and

there's a lot to do like for the deadlines.

The plan right now is for me to dig up and find as many stones

as possible.

♪ ♪

Dick: Usually, Angelina's priority is renovating furniture

for the chateau's 30 rooms.

But today, she's upcycling five tonnes of granite from an old

chateau wall.

It's needed for the bridge support.

Angelina: We tend to work separately so we, you know,

progress very quickly but at times, we have to work together

so right now, I'm helping out Phil.

[splash]

Do his man things you know, and it's not that easy but great

we're putting things to use that have been here.

God knows how long, really.

But yeah, everything that we're doing is literally for that

party.

[Angelina screams]

Oh my God, it's a toad.

Aw, she's so cute.

Okay, I don't think I'll kiss him.

♪ ♪

Dick: The granite is free.

But Phil had to splash out over 70 euros on the steel mesh for

the support's cage.

Philip: That's becoming really solid down there.

It seems to be sinking in and sort of finding its level, which

could mean it's going to work.

[laughing]

♪ ♪

Dick: When that little island is finished, I'm going to pay them

a visit, roll up my sleeves, and help them build the rest of the

bridge.

If all goes well, it should get done in a day.

Currently, I am done.

That's huge amount!

Wow.

Phil: When it's settled, I can cement the whole lot together.

We did such a huge job today.

Phil: Ah!

Dick: After unearthing all that granite by hand, there's just

enough time for a little breather.

Do you still think it's worth it?

Angelina: I think I'll just have to cross that bridge when I get

there.

[laughing]

♪ ♪

Dick: To get a bridge right isn't easy.

If you want to cross it, maybe you better wait for me, Phil.

Two minds are better than one.

♪ ♪

Dick: Just 2.5-hours' drive south east is Chateau de

Jalesnes.

In 2012, couple Michael and Jonathan moved here after paying

£764,000 for this beautiful place in the Loire Valley.

It was the same price as our flat in London.

That's how ridiculous it was.

Dick: They've turned it into five-star apartments and a

luxury location for weddings but the investors who backed them

now want to see a profit.

♪ ♪

That's where the trouble started.

[laughing]

'Cause you've got to turn it into something which is

commercially viable.

This is massively harder than we ever thought it would be.

It's relentless.

The thought of failure is so ever-present and we are not

going to let it overtake us.

♪ ♪

Dick: They've managed to book a handful of weddings but they

need to increase the amount of holidaymakers coming to stay.

♪ ♪

Dick: So today, they're trying out a new venture on some guinea

pigs: Michael's old college mates who are coming for a

reunion.

It's a business proposition as well.

It's the chance for me and Jonathan to practice what it

would be like to go on excursions.

So we plan to go to a market, which is brilliant on a Saturday

morning.

We're also going to go to our local vineyard.

Wine tasting.

So I want it to be a quality experience.

Not just your run-of-the-mill, escape backpacking around Europe

tour that we would have done when we were at college.

You're now in a five-star self-catering accommodation.

And therefore, the excursions go with that, probably the same

quality.

[cart honking]

Dick: Part of that five-star experience is enjoying the best

quality local produce.

Bonjour!

I'm going to get milk, which we do every week with our bottles.

Fresh unpasteurized, straight out of the cow.

We know by studying the market, boutique hotels and experience

holidays are the in thing for this year so we can offer it to

our guests as something a bit different.

Dick: It also doesn't hurt that the milk run is saving them

money.

[knocking]

- Bonjour! - Bonjour.

Woman: Okay, it's cheaper than the supermarket.

I think I pay 0.70 cents a litre and the cheapest bottle you can

get at the supermarket is 0.84 cents, so I don't mind washing

the bottles every day.

Dick: Today, he's decided to break the bank and get a couple

of extra bottles.

Some of it's for me.

I still like my Corn Flakes [laughing], even though I'm in

France but the college reunion, they need breakfast so the bulk

of this is going to become yogurt tomorrow morning.

At least that's the idea.

- Merci. - Merci bien.

Au revoir.

♪ ♪

Dick: Jonathan needs to concentrate on the upcoming

excursions so to make the yogurt, he's enlisting the help

of two of Chateau de Jalesnes' volunteers program, Julia and

Fiona.

In return for food and lodging, they work for free.

We spent like 8.5 hours one day just digging up all of these

beds.

But Jonathan and Michael, they make us feel like we're part of

the experience that happens here because they're enthusiastic and

they want you to share that enthusiasm.

Look at that.

Sometimes you have to pinch yourself to think,

"I own that."

Amazing.

Jonathan: Hello!

Just who I wanted.

This is the stuff we got from the farm.

Woman: Okay.

Here's the yogurt maker.

Fresh out of his box so breakfast for the morning for

all the college reunion people.

Nothing like a bit of pressure.

I'm very grateful.

See you later.

Julia and Fiona: Bye!

Switching the machine on.

Plug it in.

[machine beeps]

♪ ♪

I don't know how to turn that one off.

We're not this high tech.

We're the gardeners.

[machine beeps]

Dick: It's at times like this, you're very grateful that people

aren't on an hourly rate.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: Over 450 miles southeast in Pézenas, live artist Johnny

and television producer Ashley.

They want to buy a chateau.

♪ ♪

Dick: They want somewhere with outbuildings that Johnny can

convert into a workshop and gallery.

And three days ago, they made an offer on a place.

This is just a dream for an artist.

♪ ♪

Dick: But their opening bid was 150,000 below the asking price.

Difficile.

Price is very difficile.

Johnny: Yeah, oui, oui.

Dick: So whilst the owner mulls it over, there's another chateau

to view.

So we are headed off to another chateau.

This one has two turrets so I'm kind of excited to see it.

And it comes with outbuildings, right?

And it has outbuildings so it has turrets, it has

outbuildings, so on paper, checks a lot of boxes.

We'll see.

Dick: But then--

[phone ringing]

Dick:--a phone call.

It's Hervé.

- Oh, is it? - Yeah.

Dick: Hervé is the agent dealing with their offer.

Hello?

Hervé, can you hear me?

Ashley: Let me just pull over because we are driving.

Okay, okay.

Dick: It looks like a decision's been made.

Bonjour, Hervé.

It's Ashley, did you talk to the owners?

Ah.

Okay, one moment.

He says 500,000 euros.

They still think 450 is too low.

Yeah.

What if we just say 480.

That's all we can do.

Johnny: Okay, babe.

Hervé?

I'm sorry, I just had to talk to Johnny.

Please let them know that we really love it but 480,000 euros

is really as high as we can go.

Okay, thank you.

Merci, au revoir.

Dick: Hervé has promised to give them a final answer by this

afternoon.

Nothing else we can do.

Have to wait.

I hate it.

Hate it.

Horrible.

♪ ♪

Dick: In the meantime, they have to refocus because there's

another chateau to view.

Ah, bonjour.

Benoît: Bonjour.

Nice to meet you, Ashley.

Nice to meet you.

Dick: They've come to see the beautiful Chateau Le Bonne au

Caisse, which dates back to the 16th century.

Their guide is estate agent Benoît.

This place has a very, very nice story.

And the first owner was a colleague of Henry IV.

- Ah. - The king.

Ah.

That person, M. Bonne au Caisse, de Bonne au Caisse

received the property from Henry IV.

Okay.

And the name of the property is Bonne au Caisse, which means

"the good house."

- All right. - Ah.

Dick: This place oozes history and inside, there's lots of

gorgeous period features, including two, 300-year-old

fireplaces.

Ashley: And it works?

The fireplace is bon?

Benoît: Yeah, that's the heating system.

Ashley: That's the heating system.

Ah.

[laughing]

Benoît: The main heating system is wood.

Is wood.

[Ashley laughing]

Benoît: No central heating in the house.

Okay.

Dick: If they want to buy this place, getting it centrally

heated will be a top priority.

Benoît: You have also an old floor, which is from the 19th

century.

Wood.

So no termites?

Benoît: No termites for the moment.

For the moment.

We'll have to check it again but for the moment, no termites.

So how would you check for termites?

There is one specialist coming.

Johnny: Okay.

He's called a diagnostiqueur and he comes in the house.

♪ ♪

[laughing]

Monsieur...

♪ ♪

Dick: It's the owner of the chateau who seems to be wooing

them with an impromptu performance.

Mr. Bertrand.

[laughing]

It's beautiful music.

[laughing]

We love it, Monsieur.

He has his guitar.

And he's just given us a nice little concerto.

How awesome is that, babe?

Ashley: It's pretty amazing.

[laughing]

Johnny: Don't get that in New York City.

No, you don't get that in New York City.

[laughing]

Benoît: That's part of the ambience.

Does he stay with the house?

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: At Chateau du Bailleul in the Pays de la Loire, Philip

Baillie-Smith needs to build a bridge for an upcoming party.

♪ ♪

Dick: Luckily, I love a challenge and I'm only 35

minutes down the road.

When you look at the chateau, the roof's new.

Bit jealous of that.

Lots of double glazing.

[laughing]

Big chunky house!

Last time I spoke to Phil, he was just about to start his

bridge.

Promised to give him a hand and I brought my waders

Big problem is always trying to find him.

♪ ♪

Dick: What's really nice about visiting a neighbour is a chance

for a bit of a nosy.

Dick: It's a duck house.

I haven't got a duck house.

Ah.

Haven't got any ducks either.

I'm just following the water because this is bridge

territory.

There he is.

[drilling]

Hey matey!

How we doing?

Philip: Not bad, you?

[laughing]

- Good to see you, Phil. - Yeah, good to see you.

Dick: Mate, I thought I was going to have to do some work.

That was the hard part, the stepping stone.

That means you've moved a couple of tonne in a day.

Yeah.

We filled up the boat with a small amount and so we looked

like we sink it and then I just literally lifted it in.

Are the stones held together?

I basically made the basket out of the mild steel.

That won't last.

It won't last.

Have you actually put some of the concrete in to hold the

granite together?

Yeah, I shutted it off as best I could.

Really been liners and cling film, which is, enough of it

around, it has certainly held it in.

Cling film.

It's--hey.

- It works. - I love it.

Have you got down to the bottom of the silk to the actual clay?

No, but I've left it for a week.

It's as settled as it possibly can.

You putting more weight on there:

- Several hundred kilos. - Yeah.

Plus bodies, okay.

But there's--it's just going to go down.

It shouldn't.

If it moves a little bit, the way we're making the frame is I

can always put a few bits of wood to lift it up.

Dick: Okay.

How did you plan to get it built?

I was simply going to walk into one beam.

Someone hands it to me from here.

You walk it.

I'll walk it in.

I'll stick a beam up.

Walk out.

And put three.

Then we've got enough to either walk across or can board up to

that one.

You know, I brought more waders, but a man my age

shouldn't be near it anyway.

That is a tub.

If we take a couple, maybe three of the bits of wood, just set

them on there, push them out, walk across.

Put it on the island.

We should be able to do this without getting wet which would

be quicker because you're not...

Dick: We'll just see how it gets on.

Phil: Should we do a beam at a time?

Be best--they're heavy.

You're looking a bit concerned, thug.

[laughing]

This is how they cross big rivers in the army.

I never actually did that but...

[laughter]

But it doesn't matter.

♪ ♪

Dick: I may not feel Phil's confidence just yet but I'm

impressed with his planning.

The weather-treated timber beams have been cut to equal lengths

so it shouldn't matter which side of the island they sit on.

- Look at that. - Okay.

Dick: How much did you pay for your wood?

Phil: I think the beams for eight of them is just shy of

300 euros.

It's painfully expensive, isn't it?

Phil: That's yours, this is mine.

Yeah.

There you go.

We're going to?

- Look at that. - Okay.

- How does that feel? - Pretty good.

Dick: Walk across nice and steady.

Phil: Do...

Dick: Trust your Uncle Dick.

I'm going to be testing in a minute.

You think you're worried.

Onto the island.

Look at you!

I quite like it.

I'm in the middle of a moat.

I'm stepping on a build.

Boys like playing on water.

It doesn't matter what age you are.

What you want to do now is get right on your lawnmower.

[laughing]

That was a no.

Okay.

Dick: Phil, on his own, would probably struggle to complete

this bridge in a few days.

There we go.

What I suggest we do is take the boat now, walk him around, take

it over there.

When you've got them in place then, you've got the ability to

sort of start building.

Yeah.

Why get wet for the sake of it?

In there, it's a quagmire and it's actually quite physical to

wade around in it.

So to make our life easy and build it from the top, it's

gotta be a way forward.

You're a country boy aren't you, Phil?

Grew up in Cornwall.

Okay, that's the end of the country boy.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

♪ ♪

Dick: With my help and the right approach, we could have it all

done in a matter of hours.

And nobody's had to get wet?

- Whoa, no! - Let me get in.

Dick:--so far.

Phil: All right.

Dick: Okay, Brit.

Just leave that there.

That's good.

Looks like you did it on purpose.

[laughing]

Dick: As well as making the island, Phil has put concrete

footings to stop the tube beam sinking into the ground on each

of the two banks.

Dick: Okay, just put it down there.

Yeah.

Dick: Next one.

Leave a gap in.

Dick: In just 20 minutes, we've reached the other side.

♪ ♪

Your first heavy load.

I'm coming through.

Phil: I have faith.

Dick: Look at that.

Congratulations.

Philip: We've reached the other side.

It all looks very different on this side.

Philip: It's a view you don't ever get because of how

difficult it is to get to it.

It's either waders, or about a mile around and sneaking through

farmer's land.

Which is why it's worth building the bridge.

It's not quite a bridge yet.

It's a bit wobbly and it's a bit bouncy but now it's a matter of

making it, isn't it?

It is.

Dick: Even though the beams can take the weight of two,

well-grown men, we still need to turn it into a load-bearing

structure.

Otherwise, the summer wedding party might end up rather wet.

♪ ♪

Dick: 520 miles south, having increased their offer on their

favourite chateau, Johnny and Ashley are keeping their options

open by viewing the lovely 16th century chateau, Le Bonne au

Caisse.

I have itchy fingers because I'm just waiting for the call.

If we don't get it, I think I'll be crushed so it's

nerve-wracking.

Dick: While they wait, they check out the quirky features.

This place is the old bank of the house.

That's where they used to put the money to hide it.

- In the turret. - In the turret.

How cool is that?

Yeah, I mean that makes sense, right?

Yes.

[laughing]

Okay.

♪ ♪

Dick: Upstairs, there are six bedrooms and two bathrooms.

So I think that in this room, there is one thing that you're

going to keep, is this bathtub.

Which is quite nice.

Very heavy.

But I think from the--maybe from the 19th century.

Okay.

Benoît: It's very nice and it's not very easy to find them.

Johnny: No, no, no.

Ashley: Yes.

Be a good little project.

Johnny: Yeah, no it's nice.

It's very cute.

♪ ♪

Dick: This place has bags of potential, inside and out.

But as ever, this couple have one thing on their minds.

♪ ♪

Ashley: Should we look at the outbuildings?

Benoît: Yes, let's go.

Ashley: Okay.

Dick: There are 650 square metres of outbuildings here.

Not as much as the chateau they've made an offer on.

But it should be more than enough for Johnny.

♪ ♪

So this is the attic.

Johnny: Okay.

Ashley: He wants a workshop.

He's an artist.

Ah, you're an artist?

The idea is to use a building like this for atelier.

- Okay. - Workshop and gallery.

This will be great.

Johnny: Yes, it's beautiful, but we've recently viewed one a

little time ago and it was very, very, very expansive.

- Yes. - Very grand, oui.

See now I'm spoiled, 'cause after seeing that place--

I know.

--this looks tiny.

Where initially, this would look big to me.

Ashley: Yes.

[dog barking]

Oh.

Ah, he bit me!

- Did he bite you? - Yes.

Oh no, we've got our first casualty of the day.

[laughing]

Dick: Poor Ashley.

That's not a good omen.

Maybe he's trying to tell me something, babe.

Ashley: He very well might be.

What are you trying to tell us, Abernathy?

Johnny: Is it too small for Daddy?

Is it too small?

Dick: The last outbuilding they saw also had a brand-new roof

and double-glazed windows.

This place is a little more rustic.

It becomes clear that Johnny's heart's just not in this at all.

Walking around here I mean, I kind of feel like I'm a bit on a

museum tour, if I must be honest.

You know, I'm just not interested.

I'm just not.

[laughing]

Yeah, I just can't get the other place and the other offer out of

my mind.

Dick: But as Johnny rejoins Benoît downstairs, Ashley gets a

phone call.

Will it be the answer they're waiting for?

Bonjour, hello?

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: About 600 miles away in the Pays de la Loire, at Chateau

de Jalesnes, owner Michael is expecting some old college

friends for a reunion and wants everything to be perfect.

Michael: None of them have seen it before and you want your

friends to like where you live.

Show the chateau off at its best.

And saying, "Right, this is how we make it."

Dick: But to Jonathan, they're going to be guinea pigs to test

out local excursions for future paying guests.

I know it's a jolly for them but for us, it's about business.

You have to give people added values.

We have to visit places to see whether or not we can weave them

into this sort of chateau experience.

What you reckon?

Quite a place you got here.

Man: It's just like when we were students.

[laughing]

Amazing.

Dick: 400 years ago, the chateau was used by Marquis and Marquise

de Jalesnes to impress the élite and powerful.

Now Michael gets to impress his old college mates.

Michael: Do you want me to tell the history of the staircase.

The Infante of Spain came here, the pretender to the throne of

Spain.

So they brought the opera, they brought old comedians from

Paris.

They put the staircase in for him.

He left, went to live in England, and the servants nicked

all the silverware and left the Marquis bankrupt.

Michael: And OK, the chapel.

Dick: The chateau chapel was built in 1862.

Louis-Ferdinand Ackerman, a rich merchant and perspective buyer,

insisted that some original features were removed.

The crypt is down there.

The Marquis and Marquise were originally buried in there and

when Ackernman bought the chateau, he said, "I'm buying

the building but I'm not buying the bodies.

You gotta get rid of the bodies."

So the bodies are down in the village now.

And when he came as well, he put the balcony in.

He said, "I don't like to go to mass with the common people,"

so he used to go to mass up there.

It takes your breath away.

There's no words, really.

Amazing.

It's the girls' room.

[chattering]

It's the biggest apartment.

Everyone's gone to the kitchen.

Bedroom there, bedroom there.

Oh!

Woman: It's fantastic!

Woman: Wow!

Michael: You can see the garden from yours.

Those were fields when we bought it.

Michael: We had two horses, a donkey, and four goats.

Oh God, this really is beautiful.

♪ ♪

[cork pops]

All: Yay!

Michael: It's great having them here because they're going to be

the ones to tell us what it's really like when we have guests

in.

They'll tell you, "Yeah, it's amazing, it's fantastic,"

but you know, they might leave and say, "God, what are they

doing there?"

So it's really important that they leave here, telling us it's

a brilliant place.

All: Cheers!

Tomorrow we're going to show them the market and my favourite

vineyard and caves.

See if we can paint the town red again, even orange.

I really hope they get a good night's sleep tonight.

[laughter]

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Dick: Volunteers Fiona and Julia are moving on.

Hopefully I won't need my rain jacket when we're in the south

of France.

It's bittersweet to leave it behind but it's also cool that

we actually have something to contribute.

♪ ♪

Jonathan: It's been fantastic.

Thank you so much.

Not only for the work but also, you've been great company.

Jonathan:Give us a hug.

And this is for the bloody garden.

♪ ♪

Jonathan: It's always sad.

If you work so closely with them, you've got a real bond

going.

[sniffs]

Of course I'm emotional.

I don't think it's wrong for men to show their emotions these

days.

[birds chirping]

Dick: Michael's college friends have spent their first night in

the chateau.

Jonathan: Morning!

How did you sleep?

Jonathan: It will be the farm dog.

Gee bugger.

Dick: After catching up on old times, some of the group have

managed to make it down for breakfast.

Man: Need coffee.

Rachel's not even out of bed.

Dick: Jonathan wants to get everyone out of the chateau and

off on his carefully planned day trip.

♪ ♪

Man: He's getting more and more wound up.

Always me standing by the door, tapping my foot.

Woman: Do you want a homemade yogurt?

Dick: Hopefully Julia and Fiona's homemade yogurt will

help to start the day off well.

♪ ♪

Well, it's yogurt.

It's a bit on the sour side, I think we'll have to put

some jammy stuff in it to make it work.

Michael: So how are you feeling this morning?

Fresh as a daisy.

[laughing]

There are two of us missing, I suppose.

[laughter]

Those beds are gorgeous.

Dick: But Jonathan is worried that his schedule is slipping

behind.

We're an hour late already.

We're supposed to leave at 10.

The market finishes at 11.

Two of them aren't even up yet.

[laughter]

I'm just getting more and more wound up.

And I'll get more and more wound up as the day goes on.

So we're going to go to the supermarket today, which is the

free market.

The bloke where we buy the red wine from said he'd open his

personal cellar so we're going into his cave.

No way.

Funny 'cause we're really ready for a drink, aren't we?

[laughter]

Michael seems to be happy just drifting along but we are

scheduled.

Here he comes.

She's going to catch up with us later and Rachel wants to have a

good breakfast.

You can't keep everybody else waiting.

♪ ♪

Dick: Jonathan's day of activities has got off to a bad

start.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: At Chateau du Bailleul in the Pays de la Loire, somewhere

in its six-acre estate, I'm helping Philip Baillie-Smith to

build a bridge.

♪ ♪

Dick: We've placed six beams from one side to the other but

now we've gotta turn it into a load-bearing frame.

♪ ♪

Dick: I'll just take a little seat on the island.

Philip [laughing]: Good, you good?

Dick: You really just go for it.

Phil: Okay.

Dick: Be out of the way, Phil's done it.

He's done all the hard work.

We've got five pieces to make half a bridge.

If he's got it wrong then it becomes much more important.

But at this place in time, he's over there trying to squeeze

bits in, the floors are waiting.

Phil: The seal of approval will come from the boss.

- Angelina? - Yeah, oh, yeah.

[laughing]

♪ ♪

Dick: Phil has bought some galvanized coach bolts for the

frame.

The zinc coating prevents it from rusting.

This will stop the bridge from falling apart if we can get them

in.

♪ ♪

Dick: This bolt head has to go further in.

Philip: Okay.

Dick: Bring out your lump hammer; bring it here.

Let me see your socket and we'll just have a little go at this.

I'm not happy for you decking on that, really, because when we

try and put the two together, you're going to have to undo it,

yeah?

Yeah.

Phil may have done that end but he's got to screw this in.

He's got the piece of kit that does it and--

[laughter]

Not frightfully stable so if he gets across here, that means

we're going to stay dry all day.

Dick: Let's get the hammer on it.

- Yeah. - Let's get it tapped.

[hammer tapping]

Phil: Couple of inches.

Dick: Try that one.

Try putting that one in there.

See with that.

Dick: I think Phil's idea of renting the chateau before

deciding whether or not to buy one is a great way to test the

water before making full commitment to chateau life.

The chance to have a try before you buy.

You must have been really chuff with that, mate.

From a business point of view, you wouldn't decide to set up a

shop in a place you didn't know, setting an item you didn't know,

to a market you didn't know and invest vast sums of money.

That's all I'm doing here.

If you're about to lose hundreds of thousands, you end up putting

stress on a marriage that, you know.

Especially a young one.

Basically, you're nearly halfway through your trial period.

Yeah.

Is that a yes or is it a no?

Do you know yet?

From my point of view, it's a yes and I would even go as far

to say is that this party coming up, for me, it's

kind of a make-or-break as in, "Will it work?"

I enjoy it so much here, I would take the financial risk to try

one more after that.

But that would be me holding onto something rather than it

being a sensible choice.

From my wife's point of view, if this party doesn't work, we're

done.

We're going.

Angelina is a townie, isn't she?

She's a city girl.

Yeah, she keeps busy here with the amount of stuff we've got to

do when she sees a deadline and a chance to make money and make

it all worthwhile.

And as nice as the setting is, I'm kind of reminded, I'm a bit

scared because I don't want to give it up and she will.

But I won't think about that right now.

I'll think about a bridge and hope for the best.

In fact, when you finish, you'll be spending more time over there

chilling out, won't you?

Philip: Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

It's not a bad setting, is it?

Dick: The end of the bridge will need to sit squarely on the two

concrete bases.

If its measurements are wrong, the bridge will not be standing

on firm foundations.

You're right against the edge.

What you need to do, if you can take it a couple of inches the

other way.

Philip: Yeah.

Dick: And lift that one or ease it this way.

That could be that way.

Philip: Okay.

Dick: With a leg on the side of the post, this way towards me.

Gently.

Dick: Little bit more.

Philip: We're squeezing it.

Dick: That's just the way it should be.

Philip: Yay.

Philip: You know the way they built the Channel Tunnel.

And they did the whole, you know, hands-through bit.

That's--this is the miniature version.

I'm really happy with this one.

♪ ♪

Dick: As well as the £260 he spent on the tempered beams,

he spent another 40 on decking.

Which we have to screw on to the base, of course.

Phil: Oh I like that.

I mean, I can get on either side.

Dick: I saw a smile there.

Like this.

[laughter]

- You stay ahead of me. - Yeah.

- I'll be pushing you. - Okay, yeah.

[drilling]

Dick: Add that to the cost of the island and this bridge will

come to about £400.

Not bad, really.

[drilling]

Dick: Need a little gun to do these screws automatically,

you know.

You feed them in a belt.

[drilling]

Now it's just a matter of screwing on.

He doesn't actually need me.

He does it himself with a big smile.

Get moving faster, you!

[laughter]

Dick: So nearly done but is the bridge going to do the job?

♪ ♪

In the Loire Valley at Chateau de Jalesnes, the excursion

planned by Jonathan is already 25 minutes behind schedule.

It might have a little bit to do with the champagne but can't

bother to get out of bed.

It's too comfortable.

[laughing]

Too warm and too cozy and nice.

Dick: Michael's old college friends are ready to go but

there's still someone missing.

Sod's law when I'm the one complaining and yet I'm the one

last here.

[door closes]

♪ ♪

Dick: The first stop is the nearby town of Saumur that sits

aside France's longest river, the Loire.

♪ ♪

Jonathan: Fancy large sausage?

Dick: They've come to sample the Saturday morning market that

sells the finest food from the region.

Bonjour.

- Ça va? - Ça va.

Anchovies and olives.

I have never had it at this time in the morning but it tastes

fantastic.

Amazing.

What have you got?

Bois et chocolat.

Michael: Oh.

While the friends are having fun, Jonathan is still watching

the clock.

If you had asked me to come shopping with some friends, I'd

have it down to, "Right, we've got 30 minutes, off you go."

All I'm thinking of is chivvying them on.

There's only so much fish and olives you can do in one day.

It's hard to chill.

It's not in my nature.

We were very fond of tarts at college.

We can get this big by not eating tarts.

[laughter]

But that works.

We both know who's going to be the more suitable for the task

at hand.

♪ ♪

Dick: This next up for these guinea pigs should be right up

Michael's street then.

This is the vineyard where we buy our wine that we serve in

the chateau.

I got here within a minute of the time that I was meant to.

Dick: This vineyard is called Caves du Plessis and is owned by

Stéphane Renou.

His family's been making wine here for 120 years.

♪ ♪

A special tour with our own vigneron.

That's what sells holidays and that's what going to get the

people to come.

Look at the size of that key for heaven's sake.

[laughter]

Dick: Jonathan has persuaded Stéphane to open up the private

caves for an exclusive tour.

Look at it; look at the ceiling.

Man: They're bats.

[laughter]

Dick: The Renou family cover their bottles in old sods of

moss to keep the wine at a constant temperature.

As the wine ages, so does the moss.

Man: That's mould on top of it.

Jonathan: He has chosen one specifically for us to try.

Man: Merci bien.

Jonathan: Stéphane's going to play a little game with us.

He won't tell us which year it is.

We're going to have to try to guess, by smelling it,

by looking at the colour, the brown of the colour.

It's starting to get older and older.

Shall we put up a prize, Michael?

I've got two euros left in my pocket so two euros to the

person who gets the closest.

Oh!

Wow!

Did you--are you getting that?

It's like chocolate.

[chattering]

It's so nice.

It's amazing.

2003.

2002.

2010.

1996.

2001.

2001.

2002.

[laughter]

[cheers]

Thank you very much.

Dick: It's been a great day for Michael's old college mates.

Woman: This is absolutely the highlight of the whole trip.

You don't see this stuff at home, no.

[laughter]

Not in Nottingham, no.

We were laughing on the plane saying all we're going to do is

drink but we have actually learned so much here.

It has actually been educational as well.

It's a unique experience.

Can't get it anywhere else.

It's just so you want to see people really enjoying it and

saying they got this experience because they came to Chateau de

Jalesnes and we introduced them to something unique.

Dick: Michael and Jonathan will soon discover the results of

their day trip experiment once the guests have returned to the

chateau.

They seem pleased enough right now but that could just be the

wine talking.

♪ ♪

Dick: in just half a day, Philip Baillie-Smith and I have nearly

completed his most ambitious engineering project at the

rented chateau.

We're nearly on dry land.

Come on.

Nearly there.

Phil: Quite excited.

It's a bridge, mate.

Last one's yours, fella.

Last one.

[drilling]

♪ ♪

Dick: That's a 10-metre expanse.

Well done!

By the time the edges are on, it's 10.5, I think.

[laughing]

I nearly did you out of half a metre there.

Phil: Yeah.

Dick: Doesn't matter how you look at it, that's a decent off

span.

First man to cross the bridge.

I'm not testing it.

[laughter]

You get a wedding party in there.

Do you know what?

It takes two of us as well.

No deflection whatsoever.

In the middle.

Look.

That's a proper test.

I'm over the moon, actually.

Mate, well done.

- Thanks for the help. - My pleasure.

Now you just make it look pretty now.

Yeah!

[laughing]

Dick: But it's not quite finished yet.

You do need this.

There's one more test I need to see before I go.

♪ ♪

[lawn mower motor]

Dick: How many bridges have you built before you bought your

chateau?

Phil: One when I was about 10.

It might be an X across the streams.

What happens is as you get older, your house gets a lot

bigger and you go from BMX across the stream to your ride

on mower across a moat.

♪ ♪

[laughing]

Dick: They say the grass is always greener on the other side

and now it's shorter too.

♪ ♪

It's a solid old bridge, matey.

Phil: It is-I'm happy with that!

♪ ♪

Dick: In Bordeaux, while Johnny is checking the outbuildings of

a perspective chateau, girlfriend Ashley takes a call

from the estate agent of a chateau they put an offer on

last week.

Bye-bye.

Guess what?

They accepted the offer!

I can't wait to tell Johnny.

It's amazing, I'm speechless.

I don't even know what to say.

I really didn't expect it.

I didn't expect it at all.

Our dream chateau is now ours.

We're going to get the keys to the castle.

♪ ♪

Dick: It's great news.

But they still have to finish their current viewing of another

chateau with estate agent, Benoît.

See you have a very nice point of view on the--

--on the two turrets.

Ben, thank you so much.

It's a pleasure.

Thank you, my friend.

Thank you, bye.

- Have a good day. - Bye.

♪ ♪

Ashley: We got news.

All right so he called back?

Yeah.

Okay, and?

- Guess what? - What.

They accepted our offer.

- No way! - Yes way.

- Seriously? - Yeah.

Oh my God--we're in--

Oh my God!

Oh babe, I can't believe it.

Wow, now we're going to be the new guardians of a beautiful

chateau with amazing outbuildings.

Everything we want--I want to scream, babe.

Scream.

[laughter]

Whoa!

♪ ♪

Dick: Since they met and fell in love a year ago, getting the

keys to their very own slice of French history has been Johnny

and Ashley's dream.

[inaudible] I'm so happy.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: And six weeks on from having their offer accepted--

Ashley: Chateau de Lomenie, here we come.

Johnny [laughing]: Give us a jingle.

So we have the keys and we're moving in today to our chateau

and it's surreal.

I mean, we've been waiting so long and we looked at so many.

And I can't even believe it, honestly.

It's--it's so exciting.

Johnny [laughing]: Here we are, babe.

There's our new baby.

♪ ♪

Johnny: In you go, Booboo.

In you go.

Come here, baby.

[Ashley laughing]

Dick: And it was all going so well.

Johnny: Come here, baby.

In we go.

Straight in.

Ah sweetie, give me a hug.

Dick: This chateau, with its huge cavernous outbuilding is

perfect for their needs.

Ashley: Is this going to be the workshop?

Johnny: I think so.

Workshop downstairs.

Dick: The brand-new roof and heating system mean they can

start living in it immediately.

Ashley: That's good.

Johnny: It does work.

Dick: But there's still plenty of renovation work needed to get

this place up and running as a business.

I want to knock through this wall.

Johnny: Yeah.

Ashley: And connect it to the bathroom behind it.

Dick: Today marks the beginning of the next stage of the chateau

adventure.

This is where the hard work really starts.

♪ ♪

Ashley: Now we get to actually start doing the fun stuff.

Johnny: Yeah, that's awesome.

Yeah.

Now we're mega, mega excited.

We really are.

Look at this, Booboo.

How nice is this?

[laughing]

♪ ♪

Dick: At Chateau de Jalesnes, it's time for Michael's old

college friends to go home.

Thank you for making the effort to come.

Thank you.

[chattering]

Woman: For us, it was definitely not an effort.

Thank you very much for being the guinea pigs as well.

Dick: The guests all spent time filling in the visitor's book

about the activities they've experienced whilst staying at

the chateau and Jonathan and Michael are keen to read them.

Michael: Getting your friends out to visit your new house is

always quite a laugh.

A bit of show off but big house, show off.

[laughing]

Most importantly though, you are going to leave a critique.

If you are overly brutal, it helps because we can pull back

from that.

If we can get groups here, that's the better business for

us, rather than individuals.

♪ ♪

Having a look at the visitors book or the livre d'or, the

golden book, as they call it in France.

"Words fail us.

An amazing experience.

With so many laughs and a couple of kisses."

So, "Yes, an unforgettable trip.

The wine caves were a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

- Back soon!" - Yeah.

I think we might have hit on something that's going to do the

business a world of good.

Onwards and upwards.

♪ ♪

Dick: It's a good result for Michael and Jonathan who hope

that by laying on these activities, they'll attract more

paying guests to the chateau.

But until then, they need to find other sources of revenue.

♪ ♪

Dick: Next time: I help Jonathan search for some hidden booty.

This is why people treasure hunt.

Let me have a go.

Let me have a turn too.

Ow!

Dick: And Jonathan gets to work on his money-saving discovery.

We discovered the well but we don't know quite how much

water's in there.

Dick: There are arguments and toilet troubles for Phil and

Angelina.

What's the point of me being here if you're not going to

listen to me?

♪ ♪

Dick: And a single mom gets more than she bargained for when

renovating.

That was your hand.

Don't worry, I've got another one.

This is literally being soaked in cat urine.

It's actually making my eyes sting.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪