All language subtitles for Escape to the Chateau DIY S01E03.720p.CBC.WEB-DL.DD2.0.H.264-BTN.English

That's me, Dick Strawbridge, my
darling wife Angel, and our two

beautiful children.

[woman yelling]

Dick: Nearly three years ago, we
upped sticks for a whole new

life in France and bought this
magnificent chateau.

Angel: Oh!

Whoa!

Dick: We've been doing it up
ever since.

Woman: Oh baby, you're so
strong.

Dick: Turns out, we're not the
only ones.

Woman: Oh yeah, yeah.

[clattering]

Woman: Oops.

Dick: Dozens of Brits are taking
the plunge to rescue these

stunning buildings.

[banging]

Woman: What amazing colours!

Man: We need to get on top of
it.

Man: Get on top of the goats?

Dick: In this series, we'll
reveal more of how we're running

our chateau as a business--

Dick: Ah!

Back on dry land.

I'm still finding things that I
haven't seen.

Dick: And we'll help these
daring families run theirs.

Muah.

Here's to the meeting of two
like-minded couples.

- Yes, cheers.
- Cheers.

Dick: As they face the highs--

I'm absolutely terrified.

Dick:--and lows--

♪ ♪

Woman: It's extremely expensive.

It's financial suicide.

Dick:--of ruining these gorgeous
buildings as everything from

B&Bs to beautiful wedding
venues.

Owning a chateau isn't
glamorous.

[coughing]

Woman: Anyone who thinks it is,
is delusional.

[tree falls]

♪ ♪

Dick: Today, frustrations rise
when entertaining friends at one

chateau--

Rachel wants to have a good
breakfast.

You can't keep everybody else
waiting.

Dick: The quirks of looking for
your dream chateau.

♪ ♪

Does he stay with the house?

Dick: And I offer my skills to a
couple attempting to build an

ambitious bridge.

It's not quite a bridge yet.

It's a bit wobbly and it's a bit
bouncy.

You're looking a bit concerned,
thug.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: Chateau du Bailleul is the
home of Philip and Angelina who

are looking to swap their estate
agent jobs in England for

running a chateau here in
France.

Angelina: London is a great life
for a limited amount of time.

You know, work as hard as you
can, earn as much as you can.

Save, then get out as quickly as
you can, you know.

And it's true.

Dick: Chateau du Bailleul is in
the Pays de la Loire.

And Philip and Angelina are
renting it as an events venue

before deciding whether to buy
their own chateau.

Philip: I think my boot's
leaking.

Dick: Today, they need to build
a bridge across a moat so that

guests can cross to a marquee
for their first paid booking

here in a few weeks.

Philip: It's not just a, "Hey,
here's a big house.

Come along have a party."

There's so much stuff that goes
on with it that a venue has that

we just don't.

What most people don't realize
is the physical cost of trying

to get everything together so
you've actually got something to

sell to people as an event
venue.

[grunt]

Angelina: Yeah, something like
that.

You know, right now, we're doing
everything for the party and

there's a lot to do like for the
deadlines.

The plan right now is for me to
dig up and find as many stones

as possible.

♪ ♪

Dick: Usually, Angelina's
priority is renovating furniture

for the chateau's 30 rooms.

But today, she's upcycling five
tonnes of granite from an old

chateau wall.

It's needed for the bridge
support.

Angelina: We tend to work
separately so we, you know,

progress very quickly but at
times, we have to work together

so right now, I'm helping out
Phil.

[splash]

Do his man things you know, and
it's not that easy but great

we're putting things to use that
have been here.

God knows how long, really.

But yeah, everything that we're
doing is literally for that

party.

[Angelina screams]

Oh my God, it's a toad.

Aw, she's so cute.

Okay, I don't think I'll kiss
him.

♪ ♪

Dick: The granite is free.

But Phil had to splash out over
70 euros on the steel mesh for

the support's cage.

Philip: That's becoming really
solid down there.

It seems to be sinking in and
sort of finding its level, which

could mean it's going to work.

[laughing]

♪ ♪

Dick: When that little island is
finished, I'm going to pay them

a visit, roll up my sleeves, and
help them build the rest of the

bridge.

If all goes well, it should get
done in a day.

Currently, I am done.

That's huge amount!

Wow.

Phil: When it's settled, I can
cement the whole lot together.

We did such a huge job today.

Phil: Ah!

Dick: After unearthing all that
granite by hand, there's just

enough time for a little
breather.

Do you still think it's worth
it?

Angelina: I think I'll just have
to cross that bridge when I get

there.

[laughing]

♪ ♪

Dick: To get a bridge right
isn't easy.

If you want to cross it, maybe
you better wait for me, Phil.

Two minds are better than one.

♪ ♪

Dick: Just 2.5-hours' drive
south east is Chateau de

Jalesnes.

In 2012, couple Michael and
Jonathan moved here after paying

£764,000 for this beautiful
place in the Loire Valley.

It was the same price as our
flat in London.

That's how ridiculous it was.

Dick: They've turned it into
five-star apartments and a

luxury location for weddings but
the investors who backed them

now want to see a profit.

♪ ♪

That's where the trouble
started.

[laughing]

'Cause you've got to turn it
into something which is

commercially viable.

This is massively harder than we
ever thought it would be.

It's relentless.

The thought of failure is so
ever-present and we are not

going to let it overtake us.

♪ ♪

Dick: They've managed to book a
handful of weddings but they

need to increase the amount of
holidaymakers coming to stay.

♪ ♪

Dick: So today, they're trying
out a new venture on some guinea

pigs: Michael's old college
mates who are coming for a

reunion.

It's a business proposition as
well.

It's the chance for me and
Jonathan to practice what it

would be like to go on
excursions.

So we plan to go to a market,
which is brilliant on a Saturday

morning.

We're also going to go to our
local vineyard.

Wine tasting.

So I want it to be a quality
experience.

Not just your run-of-the-mill,
escape backpacking around Europe

tour that we would have done
when we were at college.

You're now in a five-star
self-catering accommodation.

And therefore, the excursions go
with that, probably the same

quality.

[cart honking]

Dick: Part of that five-star
experience is enjoying the best

quality local produce.

Bonjour!

I'm going to get milk, which we
do every week with our bottles.

Fresh unpasteurized, straight
out of the cow.

We know by studying the market,
boutique hotels and experience

holidays are the in thing for
this year so we can offer it to

our guests as something a bit
different.

Dick: It also doesn't hurt that
the milk run is saving them

money.

[knocking]

- Bonjour!
- Bonjour.

Woman: Okay, it's
cheaper than the supermarket.

I think I pay 0.70 cents a litre
and the cheapest bottle you can

get at the supermarket is 0.84
cents, so I don't mind washing

the bottles every day.

Dick: Today, he's decided to
break the bank and get a couple

of extra bottles.

Some of it's for me.

I still like my Corn Flakes
[laughing], even though I'm in

France but the college reunion,
they need breakfast so the bulk

of this is going to become
yogurt tomorrow morning.

At least that's the idea.

- Merci.
- Merci bien.

Au revoir.

♪ ♪

Dick: Jonathan needs to
concentrate on the upcoming

excursions so to make the
yogurt, he's enlisting the help

of two of Chateau de Jalesnes'
volunteers program, Julia and

Fiona.

In return for food and lodging,
they work for free.

We spent like 8.5 hours one day
just digging up all of these

beds.

But Jonathan and Michael, they
make us feel like we're part of

the experience that happens here
because they're enthusiastic and

they want you to share that
enthusiasm.

Look at that.

Sometimes you have to pinch
yourself to think,

"I own that."

Amazing.

Jonathan: Hello!

Just who I wanted.

This is the stuff we got from
the farm.

Woman: Okay.

Here's the yogurt maker.

Fresh out of his box so
breakfast for the morning for

all the college reunion people.

Nothing like a bit of pressure.

I'm very grateful.

See you later.

Julia and Fiona: Bye!

Switching the machine on.

Plug it in.

[machine beeps]

♪ ♪

I don't know how to turn that
one off.

We're not this high tech.

We're the gardeners.

[machine beeps]

Dick: It's at times like this,
you're very grateful that people

aren't on an hourly rate.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: Over 450 miles southeast
in Pézenas, live artist Johnny

and television producer Ashley.

They want to buy a chateau.

♪ ♪

Dick: They want somewhere with
outbuildings that Johnny can

convert into a workshop and
gallery.

And three days ago, they made an
offer on a place.

This is just a dream for an
artist.

♪ ♪

Dick: But their opening bid was
150,000 below the asking price.

Difficile.

Price is very difficile.

Johnny: Yeah, oui, oui.

Dick: So whilst the owner mulls
it over, there's another chateau

to view.

So we are headed off to another
chateau.

This one has two turrets so I'm
kind of excited to see it.

And it comes with outbuildings,
right?

And it has outbuildings so it
has turrets, it has

outbuildings, so on paper,
checks a lot of boxes.

We'll see.

Dick: But then--

[phone ringing]

Dick:--a phone call.

It's Hervé.

- Oh, is it?
- Yeah.

Dick: Hervé is the agent dealing
with their offer.

Hello?

Hervé, can you hear me?

Ashley: Let me just pull over
because we are driving.

Okay, okay.

Dick: It looks like a decision's
been made.

Bonjour, Hervé.

It's Ashley, did you talk to the
owners?

Ah.

Okay, one moment.

He says 500,000 euros.

They still think 450 is too low.

Yeah.

What if we just say 480.

That's all we can do.

Johnny: Okay, babe.

Hervé?

I'm sorry, I just had to talk to
Johnny.

Please let them know that we
really love it but 480,000 euros

is really as high as we can go.

Okay, thank you.

Merci, au revoir.

Dick: Hervé has promised to give
them a final answer by this

afternoon.

Nothing else we can do.

Have to wait.

I hate it.

Hate it.

Horrible.

♪ ♪

Dick: In the meantime, they have
to refocus because there's

another chateau to view.

Ah, bonjour.

Benoît: Bonjour.

Nice to meet you, Ashley.

Nice to meet you.

Dick: They've come to see the
beautiful Chateau Le Bonne au

Caisse, which dates back to the
16th century.

Their guide is estate agent
Benoît.

This place has a very, very nice
story.

And the first owner was a
colleague of Henry IV.

- Ah.
- The king.

Ah.

That person, M. Bonne au
Caisse, de Bonne au Caisse

received the property
from Henry IV.

Okay.

And the name of the property is
Bonne au Caisse, which means

"the good house."

- All right.
- Ah.

Dick: This place oozes history
and inside, there's lots of

gorgeous period features,
including two, 300-year-old

fireplaces.

Ashley: And it works?

The fireplace is bon?

Benoît: Yeah, that's the heating
system.

Ashley: That's the heating
system.

Ah.

[laughing]

Benoît: The main heating system
is wood.

Is wood.

[Ashley laughing]

Benoît: No central heating in
the house.

Okay.

Dick: If they want to buy this
place, getting it centrally

heated will be a top priority.

Benoît: You have also an old
floor, which is from the 19th

century.

Wood.

So no termites?

Benoît: No termites for the
moment.

For the moment.

We'll have to check it again but
for the moment, no termites.

So how would you check for
termites?

There is one specialist coming.

Johnny: Okay.

He's called a diagnostiqueur and
he comes in the house.

♪ ♪

[laughing]

Monsieur...

♪ ♪

Dick: It's the owner of the
chateau who seems to be wooing

them with an impromptu
performance.

Mr. Bertrand.

[laughing]

It's beautiful music.

[laughing]

We love it, Monsieur.

He has his guitar.

And he's just given us a nice
little concerto.

How awesome is that, babe?

Ashley: It's pretty amazing.

[laughing]

Johnny: Don't get that in New
York City.

No, you don't get that in New
York City.

[laughing]

Benoît: That's part of the
ambience.

Does he stay with the house?

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: At Chateau du Bailleul in
the Pays de la Loire, Philip

Baillie-Smith needs to build a
bridge for an upcoming party.

♪ ♪

Dick: Luckily, I love a
challenge and I'm only 35

minutes down the road.

When you look at the chateau,
the roof's new.

Bit jealous of that.

Lots of double glazing.

[laughing]

Big chunky house!

Last time I spoke to Phil, he
was just about to start his

bridge.

Promised to give him a hand and
I brought my waders

Big problem is always trying to
find him.

♪ ♪

Dick: What's really nice about
visiting a neighbour is a chance

for a bit of a nosy.

Dick: It's a duck house.

I haven't got a duck house.

Ah.

Haven't got any ducks either.

I'm just following the water
because this is bridge

territory.

There he is.

[drilling]

Hey matey!

How we doing?

Philip: Not bad, you?

[laughing]

- Good to see you, Phil.
- Yeah, good to see you.

Dick: Mate, I thought I was
going to have to do some work.

That was the hard part, the
stepping stone.

That means you've moved a couple
of tonne in a day.

Yeah.

We filled up the boat with a
small amount and so we looked

like we sink it and then I just
literally lifted it in.

Are the stones held together?

I basically made the basket out
of the mild steel.

That won't last.

It won't last.

Have you actually put some of
the concrete in to hold the

granite together?

Yeah, I shutted it off as best I
could.

Really been liners and cling
film, which is, enough of it

around, it has certainly held it
in.

Cling film.

It's--hey.

- It works.
- I love it.

Have you got down to the bottom
of the silk to the actual clay?

No, but I've left it for a week.

It's as settled as it possibly
can.

You putting more weight on
there:

- Several hundred kilos.
- Yeah.

Plus bodies, okay.

But there's--it's just going to
go down.

It shouldn't.

If it moves a little bit, the
way we're making the frame is I

can always put a few bits of
wood to lift it up.

Dick: Okay.

How did you plan to get it
built?

I was simply going to walk into
one beam.

Someone hands it to me from
here.

You walk it.

I'll walk it in.

I'll stick a beam up.

Walk out.

And put three.

Then we've got enough to either
walk across or can board up to

that one.

You know, I brought more
waders, but a man my age

shouldn't be near it anyway.

That is a tub.

If we take a couple, maybe three
of the bits of wood, just set

them on there, push them out,
walk across.

Put it on the island.

We should be able to do this
without getting wet which would

be quicker because you're not...

Dick: We'll just see how it gets
on.

Phil: Should we do a beam at a
time?

Be best--they're heavy.

You're looking a bit concerned,
thug.

[laughing]

This is how they cross big
rivers in the army.

I never actually did that but...

[laughter]

But it doesn't matter.

♪ ♪

Dick: I may not feel Phil's
confidence just yet but I'm

impressed with his planning.

The weather-treated timber beams
have been cut to equal lengths

so it shouldn't matter which
side of the island they sit on.

- Look at that.
- Okay.

Dick: How much did you pay for
your wood?

Phil: I think the beams for
eight of them is just shy of

300 euros.

It's painfully expensive, isn't
it?

Phil: That's yours, this is
mine.

Yeah.

There you go.

We're going to?

- Look at that.
- Okay.

- How does that feel?
- Pretty good.

Dick: Walk across nice and
steady.

Phil: Do...

Dick: Trust your Uncle Dick.

I'm going to be testing in a
minute.

You think you're worried.

Onto the island.

Look at you!

I quite like it.

I'm in the middle of a moat.

I'm stepping on a build.

Boys like playing on water.

It doesn't matter what age you
are.

What you want to do now is get
right on your lawnmower.

[laughing]

That was a no.

Okay.

Dick: Phil, on his own, would
probably struggle to complete

this bridge in a few days.

There we go.

What I suggest we do is take the
boat now, walk him around, take

it over there.

When you've got them in place
then, you've got the ability to

sort of start building.

Yeah.

Why get wet for the sake of it?

In there, it's a quagmire and
it's actually quite physical to

wade around in it.

So to make our life easy and
build it from the top, it's

gotta be a way forward.

You're a country boy aren't you,
Phil?

Grew up in Cornwall.

Okay, that's the end of the
country boy.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

♪ ♪

Dick: With my help and the right
approach, we could have it all

done in a matter of hours.

And nobody's had to get wet?

- Whoa, no!
- Let me get in.

Dick:--so far.

Phil: All right.

Dick: Okay, Brit.

Just leave that there.

That's good.

Looks like you did it on
purpose.

[laughing]

Dick: As well as making the
island, Phil has put concrete

footings to stop the tube beam
sinking into the ground on each

of the two banks.

Dick: Okay, just put it down
there.

Yeah.

Dick: Next one.

Leave a gap in.

Dick: In just 20 minutes, we've
reached the other side.

♪ ♪

Your first heavy load.

I'm coming through.

Phil: I have faith.

Dick: Look at that.

Congratulations.

Philip: We've reached the other
side.

It all looks very different on
this side.

Philip: It's a view you don't
ever get because of how

difficult it is to get to it.

It's either waders, or about a
mile around and sneaking through

farmer's land.

Which is why it's worth building
the bridge.

It's not quite a bridge yet.

It's a bit wobbly and it's a bit
bouncy but now it's a matter of

making it, isn't it?

It is.

Dick: Even though the beams can
take the weight of two,

well-grown men, we still need
to turn it into a load-bearing

structure.

Otherwise, the summer wedding
party might end up rather wet.

♪ ♪

Dick: 520 miles south, having
increased their offer on their

favourite chateau, Johnny and
Ashley are keeping their options

open by viewing the lovely 16th
century chateau, Le Bonne au

Caisse.

I have itchy fingers because I'm
just waiting for the call.

If we don't get it, I think I'll
be crushed so it's

nerve-wracking.

Dick: While they wait, they
check out the quirky features.

This place is the old bank of
the house.

That's where they used to put
the money to hide it.

- In the turret.
- In the turret.

How cool is that?

Yeah, I mean that makes sense,
right?

Yes.

[laughing]

Okay.

♪ ♪

Dick: Upstairs, there are six
bedrooms and two bathrooms.

So I think that in this room,
there is one thing that you're

going to keep, is this bathtub.

Which is quite nice.

Very heavy.

But I think from the--maybe from
the 19th century.

Okay.

Benoît: It's very nice and it's
not very easy to find them.

Johnny: No, no, no.

Ashley: Yes.

Be a good little project.

Johnny: Yeah, no it's nice.

It's very cute.

♪ ♪

Dick: This place has bags of
potential, inside and out.

But as ever, this couple have
one thing on their minds.

♪ ♪

Ashley: Should we look at the
outbuildings?

Benoît: Yes, let's go.

Ashley: Okay.

Dick: There are 650 square
metres of outbuildings here.

Not as much as the chateau
they've made an offer on.

But it should be more than
enough for Johnny.

♪ ♪

So this is the attic.

Johnny: Okay.

Ashley: He wants a workshop.

He's an artist.

Ah, you're an artist?

The idea is to use a building
like this for atelier.

- Okay.
- Workshop and gallery.

This will be great.

Johnny: Yes, it's beautiful, but
we've recently viewed one a

little time ago and it was very,
very, very expansive.

- Yes.
- Very grand, oui.

See now I'm spoiled, 'cause
after seeing that place--

I know.

--this looks tiny.

Where initially, this would look
big to me.

Ashley: Yes.

[dog barking]

Oh.

Ah, he bit me!

- Did he bite you?
- Yes.

Oh no, we've got our first
casualty of the day.

[laughing]

Dick: Poor Ashley.

That's not a good omen.

Maybe he's trying to tell me
something, babe.

Ashley: He very well might be.

What are you trying to tell us,
Abernathy?

Johnny: Is it too small for
Daddy?

Is it too small?

Dick: The last outbuilding they
saw also had a brand-new roof

and double-glazed windows.

This place is a little more
rustic.

It becomes clear that Johnny's
heart's just not in this at all.

Walking around here I mean, I
kind of feel like I'm a bit on a

museum tour, if I must be
honest.

You know, I'm just not
interested.

I'm just not.

[laughing]

Yeah, I just can't get the other
place and the other offer out of

my mind.

Dick: But as Johnny rejoins
Benoît downstairs, Ashley gets a

phone call.

Will it be the answer they're
waiting for?

Bonjour, hello?

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: About 600 miles away in
the Pays de la Loire, at Chateau

de Jalesnes, owner Michael is
expecting some old college

friends for a reunion and wants
everything to be perfect.

Michael: None of them have seen
it before and you want your

friends to like where you live.

Show the chateau off at its
best.

And saying, "Right, this is how
we make it."

Dick: But to Jonathan, they're
going to be guinea pigs to test

out local excursions for future
paying guests.

I know it's a jolly for them but
for us, it's about business.

You have to give people added
values.

We have to visit places to see
whether or not we can weave them

into this sort of chateau
experience.

What you reckon?

Quite a place you got here.

Man: It's just like when we were
students.

[laughing]

Amazing.

Dick: 400 years ago, the chateau
was used by Marquis and Marquise

de Jalesnes to impress the élite
and powerful.

Now Michael gets to impress his
old college mates.

Michael: Do you want me to tell
the history of the staircase.

The Infante of Spain came here,
the pretender to the throne of

Spain.

So they brought the opera, they
brought old comedians from

Paris.

They put the staircase in for
him.

He left, went to live in
England, and the servants nicked

all the silverware and left the
Marquis bankrupt.

Michael: And OK, the chapel.

Dick: The chateau chapel was
built in 1862.

Louis-Ferdinand Ackerman, a rich
merchant and perspective buyer,

insisted that some original
features were removed.

The crypt is down there.

The Marquis and Marquise were
originally buried in there and

when Ackernman bought the
chateau, he said, "I'm buying

the building but I'm not buying
the bodies.

You gotta get rid of the
bodies."

So the bodies are down in the
village now.

And when he came as well, he put
the balcony in.

He said, "I don't like to go to
mass with the common people,"

so he used to go
to mass up there.

It takes your breath away.

There's no words, really.

Amazing.

It's the girls' room.

[chattering]

It's the biggest apartment.

Everyone's gone to the kitchen.

Bedroom there, bedroom there.

Oh!

Woman: It's fantastic!

Woman: Wow!

Michael: You can see the garden
from yours.

Those were fields when we bought
it.

Michael: We had two horses, a
donkey, and four goats.

Oh God, this really is
beautiful.

♪ ♪

[cork pops]

All: Yay!

Michael: It's great having them
here because they're going to be

the ones to tell us what it's
really like when we have guests

in.

They'll tell you, "Yeah, it's
amazing, it's fantastic,"

but you know, they might leave
and say, "God, what are they

doing there?"

So it's really important that
they leave here, telling us it's

a brilliant place.

All: Cheers!

Tomorrow we're going to show
them the market and my favourite

vineyard and caves.

See if we can paint the town red
again, even orange.

I really hope they get a good
night's sleep tonight.

[laughter]

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Dick: Volunteers Fiona and Julia
are moving on.

Hopefully I won't need my rain
jacket when we're in the south

of France.

It's bittersweet to leave it
behind but it's also cool that

we actually have something to
contribute.

♪ ♪

Jonathan: It's been fantastic.

Thank you so much.

Not only for the work but also,
you've been great company.

Jonathan:Give us a hug.

And this is for the bloody
garden.

♪ ♪

Jonathan: It's always sad.

If you work so closely with
them, you've got a real bond

going.

[sniffs]

Of course I'm emotional.

I don't think it's wrong for men
to show their emotions these

days.

[birds chirping]

Dick: Michael's college friends
have spent their first night in

the chateau.

Jonathan: Morning!

How did you sleep?

Jonathan: It will be the farm
dog.

Gee bugger.

Dick: After catching up on old
times, some of the group have

managed to make it down for
breakfast.

Man: Need coffee.

Rachel's not even out of bed.

Dick: Jonathan wants to get
everyone out of the chateau and

off on his carefully planned
day trip.

♪ ♪

Man: He's getting more and more
wound up.

Always me standing by the door,
tapping my foot.

Woman: Do you want a homemade
yogurt?

Dick: Hopefully Julia and
Fiona's homemade yogurt will

help to start the day off well.

♪ ♪

Well, it's yogurt.

It's a bit on the sour side,
I think we'll have to put

some jammy stuff in
it to make it work.

Michael: So how are you feeling
this morning?

Fresh as a daisy.

[laughing]

There are two of us missing, I
suppose.

[laughter]

Those beds are gorgeous.

Dick: But Jonathan is worried
that his schedule is slipping

behind.

We're an hour late already.

We're supposed to leave at 10.

The market finishes at 11.

Two of them aren't even up yet.

[laughter]

I'm just getting more and more
wound up.

And I'll get more and more wound
up as the day goes on.

So we're going to go to the
supermarket today, which is the

free market.

The bloke where we buy the red
wine from said he'd open his

personal cellar so we're going
into his cave.

No way.

Funny 'cause we're really ready
for a drink, aren't we?

[laughter]

Michael seems to be happy just
drifting along but we are

scheduled.

Here he comes.

She's going to catch up with us
later and Rachel wants to have a

good breakfast.

You can't keep everybody else
waiting.

♪ ♪

Dick: Jonathan's day of
activities has got off to a bad

start.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: At Chateau du Bailleul in
the Pays de la Loire, somewhere

in its six-acre estate, I'm
helping Philip Baillie-Smith to

build a bridge.

♪ ♪

Dick: We've placed six beams
from one side to the other but

now we've gotta turn it into a
load-bearing frame.

♪ ♪

Dick: I'll just take a little
seat on the island.

Philip [laughing]: Good, you
good?

Dick: You really just go for it.

Phil: Okay.

Dick: Be out of the way, Phil's
done it.

He's done all the hard work.

We've got five pieces to make
half a bridge.

If he's got it wrong then it
becomes much more important.

But at this place in time, he's
over there trying to squeeze

bits in, the floors are waiting.

Phil: The seal of approval will
come from the boss.

- Angelina?
- Yeah, oh, yeah.

[laughing]

♪ ♪

Dick: Phil has bought some
galvanized coach bolts for the

frame.

The zinc coating prevents it
from rusting.

This will stop the bridge from
falling apart if we can get them

in.

♪ ♪

Dick: This bolt head has to go
further in.

Philip: Okay.

Dick: Bring out your lump
hammer; bring it here.

Let me see your socket and we'll
just have a little go at this.

I'm not happy for you decking on
that, really, because when we

try and put the two together,
you're going to have to undo it,

yeah?

Yeah.

Phil may have done that end but
he's got to screw this in.

He's got the piece of kit that
does it and--

[laughter]

Not frightfully stable so if he
gets across here, that means

we're going to stay dry all day.

Dick: Let's get the hammer on
it.

- Yeah.
- Let's get it tapped.

[hammer tapping]

Phil: Couple of inches.

Dick: Try that one.

Try putting that one in there.

See with that.

Dick: I think Phil's idea of
renting the chateau before

deciding whether or not to buy
one is a great way to test the

water before making full
commitment to chateau life.

The chance to have a try before
you buy.

You must have been really chuff
with that, mate.

From a business point of view,
you wouldn't decide to set up a

shop in a place you didn't know,
setting an item you didn't know,

to a market you didn't know and
invest vast sums of money.

That's all I'm doing here.

If you're about to lose hundreds
of thousands, you end up putting

stress on a marriage that, you
know.

Especially a young one.

Basically, you're nearly halfway
through your trial period.

Yeah.

Is that a yes or is it a no?

Do you know yet?

From my point of view, it's a
yes and I would even go as far

to say is that this party
coming up, for me, it's

kind of a make-or-break as
in, "Will it work?"

I enjoy it so much here, I would
take the financial risk to try

one more after that.

But that would be me holding
onto something rather than it

being a sensible choice.

From my wife's point of view, if
this party doesn't work, we're

done.

We're going.

Angelina is a townie, isn't she?

She's a city girl.

Yeah, she keeps busy here with
the amount of stuff we've got to

do when she sees a deadline and
a chance to make money and make

it all worthwhile.

And as nice as the setting is,
I'm kind of reminded, I'm a bit

scared because I don't want to
give it up and she will.

But I won't think about that
right now.

I'll think about a bridge and
hope for the best.

In fact, when you finish, you'll
be spending more time over there

chilling out, won't you?

Philip: Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

It's not a bad setting, is it?

Dick: The end of the bridge will
need to sit squarely on the two

concrete bases.

If its measurements are wrong,
the bridge will not be standing

on firm foundations.

You're right against the edge.

What you need to do, if you can
take it a couple of inches the

other way.

Philip: Yeah.

Dick: And lift that one or ease
it this way.

That could be that way.

Philip: Okay.

Dick: With a leg on the side of
the post, this way towards me.

Gently.

Dick: Little bit more.

Philip: We're squeezing it.

Dick: That's just the way it
should be.

Philip: Yay.

Philip: You know the way they
built the Channel Tunnel.

And they did the whole, you
know, hands-through bit.

That's--this is the miniature
version.

I'm really happy with this one.

♪ ♪

Dick: As well as the £260 he
spent on the tempered beams,

he spent another 40 on decking.

Which we have to screw on to the
base, of course.

Phil: Oh I like that.

I mean, I can get on either
side.

Dick: I saw a smile there.

Like this.

[laughter]

- You stay ahead of me.
- Yeah.

- I'll be pushing you.
- Okay, yeah.

[drilling]

Dick: Add that to the cost of
the island and this bridge will

come to about £400.

Not bad, really.

[drilling]

Dick: Need a little gun to do
these screws automatically,

you know.

You feed them in a belt.

[drilling]

Now it's just a matter of
screwing on.

He doesn't actually need me.

He does it himself with a big
smile.

Get moving faster, you!

[laughter]

Dick: So nearly done but is the
bridge going to do the job?

♪ ♪

In the Loire Valley at Chateau
de Jalesnes, the excursion

planned by Jonathan is already
25 minutes behind schedule.

It might have a little bit to do
with the champagne but can't

bother to get out of bed.

It's too comfortable.

[laughing]

Too warm and too cozy and nice.

Dick: Michael's old college
friends are ready to go but

there's still someone missing.

Sod's law when I'm the one
complaining and yet I'm the one

last here.

[door closes]

♪ ♪

Dick: The first stop is the
nearby town of Saumur that sits

aside France's longest river,
the Loire.

♪ ♪

Jonathan: Fancy large sausage?

Dick: They've come to sample the
Saturday morning market that

sells the finest food from the
region.

Bonjour.

- Ça va?
- Ça va.

Anchovies and olives.

I have never had it at this time
in the morning but it tastes

fantastic.

Amazing.

What have you got?

Bois et chocolat.

Michael: Oh.

While the friends are having
fun, Jonathan is still watching

the clock.

If you had asked me to come
shopping with some friends, I'd

have it down to, "Right, we've
got 30 minutes, off you go."

All I'm thinking of is chivvying
them on.

There's only so much fish and
olives you can do in one day.

It's hard to chill.

It's not in my nature.

We were very fond of tarts at
college.

We can get this big by not
eating tarts.

[laughter]

But that works.

We both know who's going to be
the more suitable for the task

at hand.

♪ ♪

Dick: This next up for these
guinea pigs should be right up

Michael's street then.

This is the vineyard where we
buy our wine that we serve in

the chateau.

I got here within a minute of
the time that I was meant to.

Dick: This vineyard is called
Caves du Plessis and is owned by

Stéphane Renou.

His family's been making wine
here for 120 years.

♪ ♪

A special tour with our own
vigneron.

That's what sells holidays and
that's what going to get the

people to come.

Look at the size of that key for
heaven's sake.

[laughter]

Dick: Jonathan has persuaded
Stéphane to open up the private

caves for an exclusive tour.

Look at it; look at the ceiling.

Man: They're bats.

[laughter]

Dick: The Renou family cover
their bottles in old sods of

moss to keep the wine at a
constant temperature.

As the wine ages, so does the
moss.

Man: That's mould on top of it.

Jonathan: He has chosen one
specifically for us to try.

Man: Merci bien.

Jonathan: Stéphane's going to
play a little game with us.

He won't tell us which year it
is.

We're going to have to try to
guess, by smelling it,

by looking at the colour,
the brown of the colour.

It's starting to get older and
older.

Shall we put up a prize,
Michael?

I've got two euros left in my
pocket so two euros to the

person who gets the closest.

Oh!

Wow!

Did you--are you getting that?

It's like chocolate.

[chattering]

It's so nice.

It's amazing.

2003.

2002.

2010.

1996.

2001.

2001.

2002.

[laughter]

[cheers]

Thank you very much.

Dick: It's been a great day for
Michael's old college mates.

Woman: This is absolutely the
highlight of the whole trip.

You don't see this stuff at
home, no.

[laughter]

Not in Nottingham, no.

We were laughing on the plane
saying all we're going to do is

drink but we have actually
learned so much here.

It has actually been educational
as well.

It's a unique experience.

Can't get it anywhere else.

It's just so you want to see
people really enjoying it and

saying they got this experience
because they came to Chateau de

Jalesnes and we introduced them
to something unique.

Dick: Michael and Jonathan will
soon discover the results of

their day trip experiment once
the guests have returned to the

chateau.

They seem pleased enough right
now but that could just be the

wine talking.

♪ ♪

Dick: in just half a day, Philip
Baillie-Smith and I have nearly

completed his most ambitious
engineering project at the

rented chateau.

We're nearly on dry land.

Come on.

Nearly there.

Phil: Quite excited.

It's a bridge, mate.

Last one's yours, fella.

Last one.

[drilling]

♪ ♪

Dick: That's a 10-metre expanse.

Well done!

By the time the edges are on,
it's 10.5, I think.

[laughing]

I nearly did you out of half a
metre there.

Phil: Yeah.

Dick: Doesn't matter how you
look at it, that's a decent off

span.

First man to cross the bridge.

I'm not testing it.

[laughter]

You get a wedding party in
there.

Do you know what?

It takes two of us as well.

No deflection whatsoever.

In the middle.

Look.

That's a proper test.

I'm over the moon, actually.

Mate, well done.

- Thanks for the help.
- My pleasure.

Now you just make it look pretty
now.

Yeah!

[laughing]

Dick: But it's not quite
finished yet.

You do need this.

There's one more test I need to
see before I go.

♪ ♪

[lawn mower motor]

Dick: How many bridges have you
built before you bought your

chateau?

Phil: One when I was about 10.

It might be an X across the
streams.

What happens is as you get
older, your house gets a lot

bigger and you go from BMX
across the stream to your ride

on mower across a moat.

♪ ♪

[laughing]

Dick: They say the grass is
always greener on the other side

and now it's shorter too.

♪ ♪

It's a solid old bridge, matey.

Phil: It is-I'm happy with that!

♪ ♪

Dick: In Bordeaux, while Johnny
is checking the outbuildings of

a perspective chateau,
girlfriend Ashley takes a call

from the estate agent of a
chateau they put an offer on

last week.

Bye-bye.

Guess what?

They accepted the offer!

I can't wait to tell Johnny.

It's amazing, I'm speechless.

I don't even know what to say.

I really didn't expect it.

I didn't expect it at all.

Our dream chateau is now ours.

We're going to get the keys to
the castle.

♪ ♪

Dick: It's great news.

But they still have to finish
their current viewing of another

chateau with estate agent,
Benoît.

See you have a very nice point
of view on the--

--on the two turrets.

Ben, thank you so much.

It's a pleasure.

Thank you, my friend.

Thank you, bye.

- Have a good day.
- Bye.

♪ ♪

Ashley: We got news.

All right so he called back?

Yeah.

Okay, and?

- Guess what?
- What.

They accepted our offer.

- No way!
- Yes way.

- Seriously?
- Yeah.

Oh my God--we're in--

Oh my God!

Oh babe, I can't believe it.

Wow, now we're going to be the
new guardians of a beautiful

chateau with amazing
outbuildings.

Everything we want--I want to
scream, babe.

Scream.

[laughter]

Whoa!

♪ ♪

Dick: Since they met and fell in
love a year ago, getting the

keys to their very own slice of
French history has been Johnny

and Ashley's dream.

[inaudible] I'm so happy.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: And six weeks on from
having their offer accepted--

Ashley: Chateau de Lomenie, here
we come.

Johnny [laughing]: Give us a
jingle.

So we have the keys and we're
moving in today to our chateau

and it's surreal.

I mean, we've been waiting so
long and we looked at so many.

And I can't even believe it,
honestly.

It's--it's so exciting.

Johnny [laughing]: Here we are,
babe.

There's our new baby.

♪ ♪

Johnny: In you go, Booboo.

In you go.

Come here, baby.

[Ashley laughing]

Dick: And it was all going so
well.

Johnny: Come here, baby.

In we go.

Straight in.

Ah sweetie, give me a hug.

Dick: This chateau, with its
huge cavernous outbuilding is

perfect for their needs.

Ashley: Is this going to be the
workshop?

Johnny: I think so.

Workshop downstairs.

Dick: The brand-new roof and
heating system mean they can

start living in it immediately.

Ashley: That's good.

Johnny: It does work.

Dick: But there's still plenty
of renovation work needed to get

this place up and running as a
business.

I want to knock through this
wall.

Johnny: Yeah.

Ashley: And connect it to the
bathroom behind it.

Dick: Today marks the beginning
of the next stage of the chateau

adventure.

This is where the hard work
really starts.

♪ ♪

Ashley: Now we get to actually
start doing the fun stuff.

Johnny: Yeah, that's awesome.

Yeah.

Now we're mega, mega excited.

We really are.

Look at this, Booboo.

How nice is this?

[laughing]

♪ ♪

Dick: At Chateau de Jalesnes,
it's time for Michael's old

college friends to go home.

Thank you for making the effort
to come.

Thank you.

[chattering]

Woman: For us, it was definitely
not an effort.

Thank you very much for being
the guinea pigs as well.

Dick: The guests all spent time
filling in the visitor's book

about the activities they've
experienced whilst staying at

the chateau and Jonathan and
Michael are keen to read them.

Michael: Getting your friends
out to visit your new house is

always quite a laugh.

A bit of show off but big house,
show off.

[laughing]

Most importantly though, you are
going to leave a critique.

If you are overly brutal, it
helps because we can pull back

from that.

If we can get groups here,
that's the better business for

us, rather than individuals.

♪ ♪

Having a look at the visitors
book or the livre d'or, the

golden book, as they call it in
France.

"Words fail us.

An amazing experience.

With so many laughs and a couple
of kisses."

So, "Yes, an unforgettable trip.

The wine caves were a
once-in-a-lifetime experience.

- Back soon!"
- Yeah.

I think we might have hit on
something that's going to do the

business a world of good.

Onwards and upwards.

♪ ♪

Dick: It's a good result for
Michael and Jonathan who hope

that by laying on these
activities, they'll attract more

paying guests to the chateau.

But until then, they need to
find other sources of revenue.

♪ ♪

Dick: Next time: I help Jonathan
search for some hidden booty.

This is why people treasure
hunt.

Let me have a go.

Let me have a turn too.

Ow!

Dick: And Jonathan gets to work
on his money-saving discovery.

We discovered the well but we
don't know quite how much

water's in there.

Dick: There are arguments and
toilet troubles for Phil and

Angelina.

What's the point of me being
here if you're not going to

listen to me?

♪ ♪

Dick: And a single mom gets more
than she bargained for when

renovating.

That was your hand.

Don't worry, I've got another
one.

This is literally being soaked
in cat urine.

It's actually making my eyes
sting.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪