Original subtitles

[birds chirping]

I'm Dick Strawbridge, and along with my wife Angel and our two

children, we left the U.K. for a whole new life in France and

bought this magnificent chateau.

[Angel laughs, screams]

Dick: We've gradually been making it into our home, as well

as running it as a business.

♪ ♪

That's a long way up.

But it turns out we're not alone as dozens of Brits are doing

exactly the same thing.

[child laughs]

Sometimes you have to pinch yourself to think,"I own

that."

Dick: In this series, Angel and I will reveal more about our

journey as chateau owners--

Quite a lot of scrap here; it's worth money.

Might be able to pay you this time.

--and guide these daring Brits where we can--

It's a solid old bridge, matey.

--as they renovate--

Man: This is looking good; I'm quite happy with this.

Dick:--repair--

I've never done this before, so it should be all right,

Dick:--and struggle to transform these buildings into their homes

and businesses.

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

Absolutely magnificent.

This is the glamorous chateau life that i wanted them to try.

Trying to avoid getting my face near the toilet seat.

This is not the way to make money.

Dick: But however hard the going gets, these plucky Brits can

always say they're kings and queens of their very own

castles.

Woman: Cheers, chin-chin.

♪ ♪

Dick: Today:

Hi guys!

Dick: Two rookie chateau managers struggle with their

sales pitch--

It's a lot worse than it looks.

I'm gonna turn that into a bar.

- Chris: OK. - Dick:--and each other.

I don't think it's gonna bother anyone.

It'll bother me.

♪ ♪

Dick: A couple makes some unexpected discoveries at their

chateau in the Loire Valley.

Jonathan: Wow, oh my goodness.

- Dick: Some surprising-- - Mother lode!

Dick:--others rather worrying.

Michael Halpin: Alex has found some dangerous chemicals in

there [chuckles].

Dick: And as one couple start the search for their fairy tale

chateau--

Ashley Adams: Oh, stunning.

Beauty and the Beast.

Johnny Peck: This room, it just makes me wanna twirl.

[both chuckle]

Dick:--Angel and I give them some invaluable advice.

Are you serious, you're buying a chateau?

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

♪ ♪

Dick:--walk up it, but the chickens will roost on it.

I'm Dick Strawbridge--engineer and former Lieutenant-Colonel in

the British Army.

With my wife Angela, we've been renovating our chateau into a

home and business.

♪ ♪

This is my calling in life.

Dick: It's been--not been easy.

I'm a bit too old for this.

[huffing and puffing]

But what people don't realize is the hard work starts before you

even get the keys.

What do you think, Abernathy?

Gonna go find a chateau?

Dick: Meet chateau shoppers Johnny and his American-born

partner Ashley.

He's an artist; she's a television producer,

and they want to buy their very own castle.

The dream for both of us is to find a chateau, something that's

got, obviously, history.

A lot of them are in the ruined state.

We're talking no roofs; walls are falling down.

And the beautiful thing in France, there is so many

properties like that out there.

Yeah, we're just so excited about it.

And then to just bring it back to life.

I think that's the most exciting part.

Dick: After meeting a year ago, they set up home near

Montpellier in the south of France, in a small townhouse in

the medieval town of Pézenas.

[bell chimes]

Just to live amongst history is such a dream.

In America, you don't get buildings that old, ever.

- Johnny: Hmm. - It's just so exciting.

♪ ♪

Dick: Artist Johnny has his own gallery and workshop here.

It's actually a famous time for artisans.

That's one of the reasons that we--we picked to live here.

Dick: He's got hundreds of pieces of artwork taking up

space in his gallery and their small home.

Plus, they share an addiction.

♪ ♪

Our passion is antiquing.

Johnny: We're kind of like magpies, so this, for instance,

is just probably 1% of a glimmer of our personality, right?

Things that were collected all the way around France.

Dick: So they're talking the plunge and buying something

big...very big.

So we've done the math, and I think we come out with E=MC

chateau.

- [both laugh] - Right?

Dick: They're also hoping their chateau will provide them with a

whole new business.

We want to be able to have a--a gallery and a big workshop.

Johnny: Hmm.

But also, in the future, a café.

So the more space, the better.

Johnny: Yeah.

♪ ♪

Dick: But before they start the search for their dream home,

they've asked me and Angel for some advice.

Ashley's jetted off to the States for work, but Johnny's

driven from the south of France to meet us at our place.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Johnny: Oh my god.

What a first impression, hey?

Oh, this is awesome.

Actually, I really wish that we had found this one before Dick

and Angel [laughs].

They have got a beauty here.

They really have.

[birds chirping]

Dick: Hiya, Johnny, how you doing, fella?

Johnny: Hi Dick.

How was the journey [laughs]?

It was long.

- Lovely to meet you. - Good to see you, mate.

Johnny: I'm lost for words.

Honestly, I really am.

Dick: We actually searched long and hard.

Yeah?

You know, we did--it's not a matter of you sort of turning

up, finding a chateau, and moving in.

Sure, yeah.

Dick: Do you know how big you're looking for?

Um...well, the bigger the better.

I mean, who doesn't want a big French chateau, OK?

- And-- - This is small.

[Johnny laughs]

Dick: This is classed a small chateau.

Let's go see Angela--let's go meet Angela.

Johnny: Yeah, should we do that?

♪ ♪

Johnny: Thank you.

- Hey gorgeous! - Oh, wow!

Angel: Morning, how are you?

Hello, darling, nice to meet you.

Angel: Muah, muah.

Dick: If we're gonna give Johnny a few pointers on buying a

chateau, we need to know a bit more about what he and Ashley

are after.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Cheers.

Johnny: Thank you so much for having me, guys.

So are you serious, you're buying a chateau?

- You're not stupid - [laughter]

Have you thought about this?

For us, a chateau it's--it's the beauty of the old stone,

the architecture, it's the history that goes into it--

Yeah.

--you know, the worn floors that servants have walked over for

generations and generations serving their masters--all the

family above--and just being part of that and feeling it,

you know?

- He is that stupid. - [laughter]

Angel: How long you been together now?

Just over a year, actually.

I think that the commitment is absolutely huge.

Johnny: Hmm.

If you've got the same values, you'll get through it.

And we work our socks off, don't we--

Dick: Mm hmm.

--building what we've got for the children, and what have you.

Johnny: Mm hmm.

And when you've got that dream, you put the hard work in.

Yeah, we want to do--start off small with like a little bed and

breakfast.

Angel: Yeah.

Build it up to a bit more, um, hotel--

Angel: Mm hmm, boutique and--

- --boutique-style hotel. - Angel: Yeah.

But the big draw card, really, in--is looking for a chateau

that's got outbuildings, so that I can have my big workshop--

Angel: Mm hmm, yeah.

--so I can have my art gallery.

I think the best thing we can do is have a look at some things

and just sort of give you a bit of guidance as to what to look

out for and what to be scared of.

OK, sure.

Dick: Because, you know--

♪ ♪

Dick: I'll try not to scare him, but I don't think Johnny has a

clue how much he's bitten off when it comes to choosing a

chateau.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

♪ ♪

Dick: Just 25 miles north of ours is another chateau:

The 17th century Chateau Bailleul.

♪ ♪

Dick: It has 30 rooms and sits in six acres of land.

It lies in the Pays de la Loire region of France and is rented

by estate agents Philip and Angelina Baillie-Smith.

Philip: All right, home sweet home.

Dick: Bored of the London rat race, they moved to France where

they got married.

Now they're renting the chateau to see if they want to make the

move and buy their own castle.

Philip: I thought let's rent first.

We'd get to genuinely experience the life that we're planning on

buying into.

Angelina: Try before you buy.

Philip: Yeah, something like that.

Angelina: There you go [chuckles]

Philip: It costs us about 40,000 euros a year to

be here.

By the time you put your heating costs, all the rest of it.

♪ ♪

Dick: They can only afford to live here by continuing their

estate agent business in London.

But to help make ends meet, and decide if they want to buy their

own chateau, they are now going to hire out the chateau for

events.

Philip: We've been in the U.K. for three weeks.

Best turn the water back on.

[grunting] Watch yourself.

Dick: Today, they're meeting a local English couple who have

agreed to have their anniversary party here.

Philip: This is where the stopcock is.

[grunts]

It's under a lot of foam, keep it from freezing [chuckles]..

I'll glad you're doing it and not me.

Philip: Water's on.

Dick: This will be Phil and Angelina's first booking.

Philip: We can afford to stay in a place like this, but it's

absolutely pointless unless you're gonna run a business out

of it.

This event, coming up this summer, is our dry run.

We really need to make sure it goes off without a hitch.

♪ ♪

Dick: The couple coming today want to discuss the finer

details of their big party.

♪ ♪

Angelina: It's always quite stressful when I've got these

guests coming up, and I probably got under an hour to tidy up

lots of rooms, get ready, get the dog out of the way as well.

Lightning, come.

Good boy.

Dick: But having clean rooms and a clean dog are the least of

their worries.

♪ ♪

Dick: The guest toilets have a serious damp problem.

Angelina: Oh, wow.

That's--it's quite mean.

Whatever damp-proof membrane was on this wall was holding the

water.

Angelina: You might not wanna touch that.

♪ ♪

Dick: And the outdoors entertainment needs a bit of

work.

- I'll turn that into a bar. - Bar, yeah, I agree.

[birds chirping]

Look, this is my plan:

Put a tilt in this so there's a run, and we put a roof on it.

How about a Perspex roof?

Perspex looks like it's cheap and quick.

- If you got white canvas-- - Yeah.

--it's got the weddingy sort of--

It's vintage, yeah.

- --shabby, chic feel to it. - Angelina: Shabby, yeah.

And here--

I don't think it's gonna bother anyone.

It'll bother me.

[birds chirping]

Dick: With their party clients due to arrive at any moment,

Phil and Angelina have to focus less on the shabby and more on

the chic.

To make their day as special as we found our wedding here,

maybe, with a little bit of luck, they can see through the

mess, and we're all good.

[vehicle honks]

Angelina: They're here!

Hi guys!

Dick: Retired pilot Chris and his wife Rosanne have lived in

this part of France for 12 years and have agreed to celebrate

their golden wedding anniversary in Phil and Angelina's chateau.

They're joined by their son Christian who will be the DJ on

the big day.

- So nice to see you. - [laughter]

Chris has been away most of our married life, flying, and we

haven't been out to celebrate many anniversaries, so this is

going to be really special for us.

And 50 years, it's a lifetime, isn't it, I suppose.

Doesn't sound very good, does it?

[laughter]

Shall we go in?

♪ ♪

Dick: A lot depends on how the next few hours go.

It's not just the booking that could be in question, but the

couple's plans for a future in their very own chateau.

We don't get it right for these guys and this day,

we'll probably think about maybe this isn't for us.

I just really hope that's not the case.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: This is the magnificent Chateau de Jalesnes.

It's the home of British couple Michael and Jonathan.

Located in Loire Valley, they bought this place in 2014 for

just over £750,000.

It was the same price as our flat in London.

That's how ridiculous it was.

We thought it was too good an opportunity to--to miss.

♪ ♪

Dick: Back then, the place looked very different.

The first sight of it in the flesh, rather than the estate

agent's details, was "Wow."

♪ ♪

I think it was even more"wow" because it was so neglected.

There was--had little trees growing out in the moat, where

we're sitting at the moment, and--

Oh yeah [chuckles]

--it was up here somewhere.

I mean, you could get lost in it.

The goat [chuckles].

Jonathan: There was thorns and thistles, ivy and trees and

ponies and donkeys and goats.

The challenge was superhuman, and that's what appealed to the

two of us.

Dick: With the help of investors, they've converted it

into 15 holiday apartments and a location for weddings.

But they're struggling to make a profit, so this year is

make-or-break.

Michael: Jon and I don't earn anything out of this until it

starts making money.

We're now two years down the line, and it's still not making

a profit, so we've got a year on a very, very frugal budget to

go, and then we've gotta make the decision: Can we still

sustain the two of us being here?

Dick: They're doing everything they can to keep costs down.

One way of doing that is to use volunteers.

Michael: We have a system of volunteers that come from all

over the world to give us a hand.

So, these guys come along, give us their skills that we haven't

got the aptitude to do, and then we give them food and luncheon.

Barter works for all of us.

♪ ♪

Dick: Today, the volunteers are going to help Michael and

Jonathan search some unexplored caves in the chateau's dry moat.

They're hoping they might uncover some surprises that

could make or save them some much-needed cash.

All the stone around the moat, et cetera, was dug out to build

this chateau, so this stone for this building has come from

these moats and these caves.

Jonathan: And we still haven't been in all the caves.

There's still some that are unexplored.

We just haven't had the time because we've been so busy with

this.

Dick: Who know what secrets lie hidden in some of these caves?

This entrance could have been bricked up for several decades,

perhaps even centuries.

And eventually, we hope to see what mysteries lie behind it.

There's a lot of local rumours about a tunnel system and

treasure.

♪ ♪

Dick: The caves they're exploring today lie just off the

entrance tunnel to Chateau de Jalesnes' dry moat.

Jonathan: If there's anything dangerous, just shout out.

Don't try to deal with it.

If you find any treasure, it's mine.

- Michael: Mine. - [laughs]

Jonathan: Otherwise, let's have some fun.

Does it open up?

Come on then, that's a good start [grunting].

- OK, come on in. - Woman: OK.

Jonathan: So, building materials need to go into the cave next

door.

Anything that you think can be recycled, we'll put in one pile.

Superb, let's get stuck in.

Woman: OK.

Jonathan: That's rubbish, Michael.

[chatter]

Hey, what is...

Wow, oh my goodness.

[blows]

Michael!

Dick: They've only been working five minutes when the cave

throws up a surprise.

Jonathan: Michael, where's that from then?

When you see things like this, it's often to do with the

Revolution.

The heads have been chopped off and the hands have been chopped

off.

Dick: In 1794, when the peasants came through this part of the

country, they vandalized any images of nobility.

These statues were made before then.

Jonathan believes way before then.

We know there was a medieval manor house on the same site of

the chateau today, and we know that the chateau's been built

piece by piece.

The earliest bit that we've got at the moment dates from 1530,

but this is pre that even, which we just need to keep now.

We need to show it, display it, get it up, so that everybody who

comes to the chateau can see it.

It's fantastic to find something like that.

Really good.

♪ ♪

Dick: But just as things are looking up--

Michael: Alex has found some dangerous chemicals in there.

[chuckles]

Jonathan: How do you know they're dangerous?

Because it's got "dangerous" written on the bloody barrel.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Dick: Back to our place in northwest France.

Aspiring chateau buyer Johnny has come for some advice.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Dick: It might be a dream to own a fairy tale castle with turrets

and towers, but buy the wrong place, and it can turn into a

nightmare, so we've got some simple tips.

- There are a lot of stairs. - Johnny: Yeah.

Hold up, we've come up three flights.

Have a look at this next bit.

Johnny: Oh, wow.

Dick: And there's another floor above this.

You're young and--it doesn't matter.

But if you are thinking of having this as--as a business--

Johnny: Hmm.

Angel:--you do have to keep that sort of thing in mind.

Keep walking upstairs.

You've had too much of a breather.

I like to see people doing it in a one-er.

♪ ♪

Dick: Tip number one: Don't worry about the ceiling,

it's the roof that matters.

You see the little--the little stainless steel clips on the

tails?

- That's new roof. - Right, yeah.

- That is a new roof. - Johnny: Sure.

So when you're looking around--

Johnny: Yeah.

--that has had a problem; it is now fixed.

Johnny: Mm hmm, yeah.

And that says it's been maintained.

Johnny: OK.

Dick: Tip 2:

Think about the heating.

So this is a thermal store where we store all of our hot water.

And if you can actually have an efficient system of heating,

it's in your best interest, anything that helps you get

cheaper energy--

Yeah.

Take somebody's arm off about here--

- [Johnny chuckles] - --because the bills are big.

- Johnny: Yeah. - Dick: Tip 3:

Never underestimate the plumbing.

This little bad boy here--the old poop tube.

Johnny: Poop tube.

If you are in the bathroom in the botanical suite on that

side, yeah--

Johnny: Mm hmm.

--your poo has to go over to our septic tank over on this side.

Johnny [chuckling]: OK.

And, Angela, you didn't want any external pipes.

- I didn't, sorry. - Johnny: No.

So consequently, we had to find a route through the house for

the pipes.

Johnny: Right.

And it has to drop 25 mills per metre--

Johnny: OK.

--or an inch per yard, basically.

- Johnny: Yeah. - Yeah?

So, you've got a progression of a slope down so the poop keeps

moving.

You have to think about really boring things like gravity.

Johnny: That's the thing.

For us, the plumbing and electric with all the piping,

with the thermal store, with the radiators, there'll be no change

in 25 K.

- Angel: Mm hmm. - Yeah.

I mean, thus far, all we've done is talked about where we--you

know, cosmetic stuff, because that's what you do; you get

excited.

You think about how it's gonna be projected.

You think of palettes and what linen you want.

[laughs]

But I must say [chuckles], hearing this, you know, it's

quite scary because you do have to think, don't you?

Angel: Yes.

Dick: I think the penny's finally beginning to drop.

Next:

Keep an eye out for creepy-crawlies.

- See this? - OK.

- This is woodworm. - Hmm.

Dick: And there's rot and there's various things in there.

But, you know, things like this has all been treated now.

None of this bothers me.

Further south, where you are--there's a line, and down

below that line, there's the things that sort of eat lots.

[chuckles] Termites, yeah?

Dick: You better believe it.

Your area, termites are phenomenal.

♪ ♪

Dick: Woodworm is relatively easy to treat, but if Johnny

does choose a place down south, he'll need to check for termites

because they can be costly.

Come on, let's go down another floor.

I just hope we haven't turned him off about the idea of

chateau life completely.

There's lots of things that sound like there's problems,

but in the end of the day, you get to live somewhere that is

actually quite special.

Johnny: Yeah.

Dick: And I've got something to show Johnny that will fire up

his imagination.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

♪ ♪

Dick: 25 miles north, Philip and Angelina are showing Chris and

Rosanne around their chateau.

- Chris: Hello. - Nice to see you.

Dick: They've already agreed to have their 50th wedding

anniversary here.

Today, they're finalizing the details.

But with more than 30 other chateaux already up and running

as event locations within 100 miles of here, Philip and

Angelina don't want to cause them to reconsider.

Here's an idea, right?

It's not often you get to a 50-year anniversary, are you

interested to renew your vows?

You know, there's a chapel, you know, at the back.

[laughter]

Yeah, after 50 years of marriage, you're allowed to

say, "No."

[laughter]

That would be good.

Something I haven't thought about.

- Had you? - Would I marry you again?

Yeah, of course I would.

He had his fingers crossed.

[laughter]

How about as the starting point, you know, should we just have a

look, and we'll go from there.

- Yes. - Philip: Yeah?

♪ ♪

Dick: First up is the entrance hall which was used as the

dining room for Philip and Angelina's wedding.

Philip: This room will be lovely.

Dick: But for this anniversary party, Philip thinks it would be

better used as a thoroughfare into the garden.

♪ ♪

Philip: If we move one of these tables back against the radiator

there--

Group: Yeah.

Philip:--they've got the champagne, they grab it

themselves--

Yeah.

--and we're into the back garden before the party starts.

You see me do a toast.

But do we actually want a toast, hey?

- I think so. - Philip: Yeah.

It's--you know, you're marking a day that's special.

We're doing it in a great setting.

- The toilet's behind there? - Philip: Yeah.

- How many we got? - Philip: We've got two.

However--[chuckles]..here we go.

- After you. - It's loo time.

- Philip: Yeah, toilets. - Don't be shy [chuckles].

Rosanne: These are the two toilets?

Yeah, they'll be unisex.

They're downstairs; they're easy to get to.

Rosanne: Yeah.

It needs a little work.

Philip: It needs a little bit of work until it's used.

It'll be--it'll be fine.

It's a lot worse than it looks, so I don't want to scare you.

- Pretty disgusting, actually. - Man: Yeah.

[laughter]

Is that a family loo?

You got two in there.

Philip: You both go at the same time.

Chris: Yeah.

I'm sorry, Phil, I couldn't invite anybody into those loos.

Philip: As I couldn't even use them myself.

We're gonna get rid of whatever's causing the issue,

redo the wall.

Up there, it'll probably just be plain white.

But you can assure me they're both going to be flushing

loos--

Philip: Yeah.

--and it's going to look a lot prettier?

Yeah.

I look forward to seeing them afterwards.

It'll be interesting.

It's what we do outside that counts.

[birds chirping]

Dick: Oh, I'd get them out onto the terrace pretty quick, Phil.

Philip: There'll be some seating here.

We'll spread around, and I'm gonna turn that into a bar.

Chris: OK.

Philip: Yeah, you gotta have a bit of an imagination.

Picture this stuff is not gonna be here, OK.

Angelina: Yeah, we have a wine fridge, ice machine.

Rosanne: That's a good idea.

Philip: You're gonna do the DJing at the party.

Would you put your stuff in here, and we have actually the

majority of the party here?

The lighting and the speakers, it needs to be under cover,

really, so ideally, it would need to be in the marquee.

OK, OK.

- It was in the marquee-- - Yeah?

- --it'd be brilliant. - OK.

Can I assume all that's going to be cleared up out there?

Philip: You mean you don't like fallen trees as part of the

backdrop?

[Rosanne laughs]

Philip: A little bit of faith is all I ask--

Rosanne: Yeah.

--with a little luck and a lot of work.

- Just out of curiosity-- - Philip: Yeah?

--have we discussed food?

[birds chirping]

Philip: Uh--

When we did our 60th, we did a barbecue in the garden.

Philip: Yeah, there's all sorts of different options.

Chris: Barbecue.

Yeah, it depends on what you think.

Chris: Barbecue.

I mean, my--barbecue and a buffet style.

- If it's hot-- - Rosanne: If it's enough--

Just let us know, and then we can have a look at what we can

do.

Rosanne: And what about tables?

Angelina: Right, should we go and have a look in the back

garden?

See how we'll lay it out?

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Dick: In the Loire Valley sits the magnificent Chateau de

Jalesnes.

Owned by couple Michael and Jonathan, they and a band of

volunteers have been clearing out one of the unexplored caves

that come off the chateau's dry moat.

They find some medieval statues--

It's fantastic to find something like that.

Dick:--but a minute later, one of the volunteers finds

something a bit more sinister.

Michael: Alex has found some dangerous chemicals in there.

[chuckles]

Jonathan: How do you know they're dangerous?

Michael: Because it's got "dangerous" written on the

barrel.

♪ ♪

Dick: Michael finds a clue to what the barrels may contain.

Michael: Someone's written on the wall,"62 doses for 30

litres of petrol."

So, they're mixing petrol with something, so that could explain

why we've got all these toxic fluids back here.

What would you mix with petrol?

No idea [chuckles].

Dick: Some of the barrels contain vegetable oil left over

from the chateau's hospital days.

Could it be that they were mixing it with petrol to try and

increase their stock of fuel?

Back then, engines could tolerate less pure forms of fuel

than today.

I certainly wouldn't use that instead of unleaded.

Jonathan: These chemicals that you have found in these barrels,

we can't really handle them because if it's got "dangerous"

and "toxic" on it, you have to get a special contractor to come

in, fill in lots of paperwork, and they have to dispose of it.

If we leave that--is there anything else in there, Alex, or

just those?

Alex: And some wine bottles.

Hey, motherlode, we found some wine!

[laughs]

Man: All right, stop work.

Jonathan: We've got, what, about four or five cases of wine?

What--what are they, Alex?

- Alex: Uh-- - Jonathan: 1995.

- Look. - Alex: Yeah, '96.

Jonathan: Côte de Beaune.

Côte de Beaune.

They're covered in dust.

Look at the label on that, how mouldy it is.

So this is a different one then, this is a different--this is a

Bordeaux-shaped bottle.

Chateau la Perrière.

It's 19--[blows]--1992.

My god--heavens to Betsy.

Have you seen this, Michael?

No, I heard you though.

There is a great stock of wine there.

Look at this stuff.

25-year-old Bordeaux [laughing].

[inaudible] '92.

Jonathan: That's 25 years ago.

25-year-old bottle of wine.

Have a look.

Michael: Well, that's tonight, so it's--

[laughter]

♪ ♪

Dick: What a result.

The statues will benefit the chateau and make a beautiful

frieze in its entrance hall.

And the wine, if it's still in good nick, can be the reward for

finding the statues.

I wouldn't mind trying some of that.

♪ ♪

Dick: As Michael sets about finding a place to store his

booty, Jonathan heads to the other side of the dry moat where

one of the volunteers thinks he's discovered something in

another unexplored cave.

So what--what do you think?

Have you had a look at it?

Cohen: Quite sure there's water in there.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: At mine and Angel's place in northwest France, aspiring

chateau owner Johnny has been getting a crash course in what

to look for when you buy a chateau.

Before he leaves, there's one last thing to show him.

I think you should take Johnny outside to show him some of the

outbuildings.

Talk about studios.

Let's see what you get for free.

Johnny: Oh.

Dick: I'm thinking about it.

I know at the top of Johnny's wish list are some outhouses for

his gallery and workshop.

So another storey up here, right?

Dick: Yes, there's three storeys.

Wow.

Oh, this is huge.

Oh, wow.

The problem is I would say, is most of them have not been

used for a long time, so have a good think and have a look

around.

This--all this wood is original.

I probably get more excited about the outbuildings than I do

the chateau [chuckles].

Dick: Tour over, there's one final bit of advice:

Always think long term.

We're talking commitment when you buy a chateau, yeah?

Johnny: Hmm.

So, you know, a puppy's not just for Christmas.

[Johnny laughs]

A chateau's not just for the honeymoon period.

It's the long--it's the long flog.

We looked for four, four-and-a-half years--

OK--oh, wow.

--before we found this place.

Johnny: Yeah.

Dick: Come on, let's go and get some air.

It's quite hot in here, isn't it?

Johnny: They get stuffy, right?

Dick: Yeah.

♪ ♪

Dick: Johnny and Ashley are at the beginning of an amazing

chateau-buying adventure.

- How are yous? - They are awesome.

Dick: I have to admit I don't envy them.

Don't be scared.

We haven't ever regretted what we've done.

It is so worth it.

We're happy, darling, aren't we?

Yeah.

Johnny, good luck.

Oh, thank you so much for your advice and everything.

I really appreciate it.

Dick: And don't forget, you've got the roof, the windows, the

plumbing.

- [laughter] - Johnny: Nice one.

Dick: Have a nice shop, fella.

I'll keep you posted.

Dick: Cheers, matey.

Angel: Yeah, make sure you do.

Thanks, guys.

♪ ♪

Dick: I hope we've taught him a thing or two today, and I can't

wait to see what he and Ashley settle on.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

♪ ♪

Dick: At Chateau Bailleul in Gorron in northern France, Phil

and Angelina are finalizing the arrangement for Chris and

Rosanne's 50th wedding anniversary celebrations.

♪ ♪

Philip: We'll just cut around here, OK?

Rosanne: OK.

Angelina: This is a really long walk just to go for a dance.

♪ ♪

Dick: Phil has agreed to erect a marquee for the party.

He wants to place it at the back of the grounds, next to the

moat, to give the best view of the chateau from the marquee

entrance.

Chris: So the marquee go where, Phil?

Philip: I'm thinking the marquee goes length ways here.

Dick: But Chris and Rosanne want it closer to the chateau.

Why not here?

I--see, I was hoping it was gonna be right there.

Philip: OK.

Chris: That's a wonderful little spot over there.

Philip: Yeah.

They're gonna sit over there, and they're gonna drink over

there.

Dick: Phil is worried there won't be enough room for the

guests if it's too close.

It's the summer.

Most people are gonna be in front of the marquee.

And if it's a great day--

You're adding enough room for them to be outside?

Well--[sighs]--I was just thinking it was convenient.

Philip: It is your day.

Why don't we have it somewhere in the middle?

♪ ♪

This is kind of the fake line for the back of it.

That's your space.

- Angelina: Or-- - Philip: Yeah?

Angelina:--or would you rather it be this, the back of it,

so it's closer?

No, 'cause you've got too little space at the front.

Angelina: This is the shortest distance.

Rosanne: Yes, I agree with you.

- That's a good idea. - Chris: Yeah.

- Philip: Yeah, OK. - Yes, thank you.

Rosanne: Good girl, good girl.

I was right.

♪ ♪

Dick: The tour is over, but Phil is worried.

Philip: I think we've done enough today, but anyone can

walk away and change their mind afterwards.

If I'm honest, given the condition of the house, I

wouldn't blame them, I just hope that they can see through the

mess, we can deal with the problems, and we're all good.

♪ ♪

Dick: So he's cooked up a treat to win them over.

Philip: The French don't really do a Sunday roast.

You can't go out and have one.

No one else in Europe understands a Sunday roast apart

from the English, so why not play on that.

And hopefully, that'll seal the deal.

Let's not say anything too positive in case I jinx it.

So hungry.

Where would you like me to sit?

- Anywhere you like. - Rosanne: Anywhere.

Dick: As with all Sunday roasts, timing is everything.

♪ ♪

Dick: Unfortunately, Phil is cooking in two kitchens at

either end of the chateau.

♪ ♪

Yeah, OK.

Is that Phil?

Where's Phil?

Angelina: He's coming; I can hear him.

Dinner.

[Philip sighs]

They say to get 10,000 steps a day.

It's not a problem in a house like this [laughs].

So I'm running between a kitchen on one side of an 8,000-square

foot house to the other to try to cook the meat, the potatoes,

the rest of it, because the oven here, the glass has fallen out

as I've tried to use it this morning.

But you know what, it's great experience for how things go

wrong on an event and on a day, isn't it?

So, it doesn't really matter.

♪ ♪

Dick: Trying to impress his guests could backfire on Phil.

If he can't deliver a dinner for five on time, how's he going to

cope with catering for more than 50?

You know the food's gonna be absolutely delightful.

It's been a long time coming [chuckles].

Dick: But Phil knows how to keep his clients on board.

Angelina: You need help?

- Just keep them entertained. - Angelina: Yeah.

Philip: Keep the flow of conversation.

Ply them with alcohol, keep 'em happy.

Ten minutes late, we'll survive.

We're all good.

Thankfully the wine's flowing, so everyone will be all right,

so.

Hot stuff coming through!

Dick: Just 25 minutes late, dinner is finally served.

Philip: OK.

Everyone's had plenty of drinks, so they are well--

Philip: They're ignoring the fact it's late?

- OK, good, good. - Angelina: Yes, great.

Thank you.

♪ ♪

Philip: Enjoy your food.

Sorry it's late.

All: Here's to life!

Chris: Lovely.

♪ ♪

Rosanne: Pork is so sweet.

It's lovely.

British roast in a French chateau.

Chris: Very, very good.

Dick: The meal's a hit.

But did the rather amateur chateau tour change their

neighbour's minds?

Rosanne: The only mistake he made was having the marquee

right at the back of the garden.

It was--it was a long way away from everything.

So persuading him now to do it closer to the chateau,

it's going to be good.

If Phil comes up with what he says he's going to do, with the

backdrop which we've got here, it's gonna be magnificent.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Dick: Jonathan, Michael, and their volunteers are exploring

just a few of the 30 caves at the chateau.

And after a few surprises--

Jonathan: 25-year-old Bordeaux [laughing].

Motherlode!

Hoo, hoo, hoo!

Dick:--one of the volunteers--Cohen--thinks he's

found another one.

Cohen: Quite sure there's water there.

- You are? - Yeah.

Jonathan: Really?

♪ ♪

Dick: Jonathan's right to be excited.

A free water source for a chateau this size could be worth

thousands of pounds.

See, we thought this was a coal shoot.

We thought that they delivered the coal here.

It dropped down the bottom, and you just pulled it out.

So can you tell if I drop a stone how deep it is?

Cohen: Well, I can make a guess, but--

Is that all right?

Do you want to plop--plop away then, Cohen?

Yeah.

OK.

♪ ♪

It's the moment of truth [chuckling].

[rock plunges into water]

Whoa, a lot of stuff falls in over.

That's fantastic.

So what we want, a bucket and a rope, find out how deep it is

and what the water looks like that comes up.

- Yeah. - Jonathan: OK?

This is the answer to our prays.

[laughter]

You cannot believe how--how important this is--

Yeah.

--because the formal gardens are just at the top.

We just have to go to the top here, and then we can feed just

one pipe straight out there, and we can water the whole blooming

lot.

- Cohen: That's great. - Fantastic.

I can't tell you how made up I am.

♪ ♪

Dick: Jonathan and Michael currently spend over £6,000 a

year simply watering the garden.

Jonathan: The garden has been laid out in the old French

style, and takes a lot of water to keep the grass all

green.

The business relies on it because brides need bright green

grass, and the guests want flowers and the vegetable patch,

the fruit trees, and need I go on?

This is such an important find.

I cannot tell you how excited--[sniffles]--how excited

I am about it.

It's just a lifesaver, really, bills-wise.

OK, I'll feed it through.

So she's the Girl Guides.

Is that what you've done?

All right [chuckles]

Oh yes, we've--we've created our makeshift bucket, and we'll see

if we can find some water down in this well here.

OK, off you go.

- All right, go all ahead. - OK.

Woman: I'm not the well expert.

Do you need to put a stone in the bottom of it so that it

actually goes under the water, I think.

- Woman: Yeah-- - Jonathan: We've got one.

Cohen: Going pretty deep.

- Is that it? - Cohen: Yeah.

OK, I think I have some water.

Jonathan: Superb.

Cohen: Yeah, there's the water.

Jonathan: What colour is it?

Wow, that's not bad, actually.

That's clear.

For--considering that water's been down there for I don't know

how long, that's fantastic.

We got water!

♪ ♪

Dick: This could be a big money-saver.

Make no mistake, the chateau has its own water.

You better tell Michael the good news.

- Yes? - Don't say it like that.

This could--I could now make your day, make your--

- Michael: Whole week? - Yes, exactly.

Now, you know this coal shoot behind me here?

Michael: Yeah, is there any coal in there?

Well, it isn't a coal shoot.

Michael: What is it then, Batman?

- It's a well. - Is there water in it?

It's a well, and it's full of water, and it's right next to

the back garden.

Do you reckon we can get it up from there to the garden?

Yeah, you get a pump.

So how much did we spend on water last year, just for the

garden?

7,500 euros or something like that?

7,500.

So how pleased are you?

Yeah, that's pretty good news.

I think I can sort of say--think I can take you out for dinner.

- All right [laughs]. - Michael: Great news.

If we can get that pump up here, yeah, the math would save--save

about 7,000, brilliant.

Fantastic.

Dick: It's been a good day for Michael and Jonathan.

But even if this well can provide enough water to cut down

their bills, the only way to ensure the business doesn't sink

is to secure a big wedding booking this summer.

♪ ♪

Just to break even this year, we would need 13 weddings.

We're currently at five.

♪ ♪

Dick: Brit Johnny has been to see me and Angel for some

chateau shopping tips.

570 miles away, down in the south of France, he and his

American partner Ashley are starting the search for their

perfect castle at Chateau de Jottes.

It is a massive one built in the 16th century.

It looks like it needs a lot of work, but it's exciting.

♪ ♪

Dick: It's on the market for a fairly steep 520,000 euros..

But this is the south of France where the warm climate and glam

location means prices are high.

Even places like this that need a fair bit of work.

♪ ♪

- Johnny: Oh, wow. - Ashley: That's nice.

- It's huge. - Johnny: Oh my god.

♪ ♪

- Johnny: Oh babe. - [Ashley chuckles]

Dick: The 20-room chateau comes with a separate three-bedroom

house, five holiday rentals, and plenty of outbuildings for

Johnny's workshops.

It's 170,000 over their 350,000 budget, but they're

hoping they can get the price down.

- Bonjour. - Stéphanie.

It's Johnny.

It's Stéphanie, oui?

- Nice to meet you. - Bonjour, je suis Ashley.

Stéphanie.

♪ ♪

[door creaks]

Johnny: Here we go, babe [chuckles]

Wow, babe.

Look at how big this is.

Look at that.

- Ashley: Oh, fire? - Fire.

Johnny: Ah, wow, what a shame.

♪ ♪

Dick: I knew they're up for a project, but I worry this might

be a little too much, especially with the state of that roof.

♪ ♪

Babe, look up here.

- That's water, isn't it? - Ashley: Yeah.

- So water, fire? - [laughter]

OK.

♪ ♪

- Ashley: Oh, stunning. - Stéphanie: Big windows.

Some... Beauty and the Beast [laughs].

Stéphanie: Yes.

Johnny: This room, it just makes me wanna twirl.

[both laugh]

♪ ♪

Johnny: How long has the property been vacant?

Empty?

- Ten? - Johnny: Ten?

- Yes. - Johnny: Oui.

Torch time.

We need a miner's hat.

- Johnny: Oh, restaurant. - Stéphanie: Yes.

- Johnny: Oui. - Ashley: Oh.

Johnny: And then there was a fire.

♪ ♪

Here we have some he's and her's.

This is quite nice here.

The tap doesn't work.

The toilet roll.

Oh, look, there's a view there.

♪ ♪

Johnny: Broken doors and empty bells.

Ashley: Or baby shoes.

Look.

"Mama."

"Mom."

Bobo, what you think?

Oh, that's very creepy, right?

Ashley: That's very creepy [laughs].

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Ashley: The room goes on and on and on.

Stéphanie: More rooms.

Ashley: Oh my goodness.

I mean, my gosh, everything would have to come out.

That was one hell of a fire, eh?

Ashley: Yeah.

Johnny: Roared right through.

Dick: Fire damage, water damage.

This chateau is riddled with structural issues.

I thought our place needed a lot of work.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Look at this, this could be a nice big workshop.

Oh, wow.

- It's deep, right? - Yeah.

♪ ♪

If it was 300,000, even 350,000, I would say let's do

it.

Johnny: Yeah?

- But 520,000-- - Johnny: Yeah.

--with all of the work, I just--I don't know.

Johnny: Mm hmm.

You're thinking no, right, kinda vibes I'm getting?

- I'm thinking no. - Yeah.

- I love it-- - Johnny: OK.

--but it's just too much work.

Johnny: Sure.

Ashley: We can't do that work by ourselves.

I mean, it's missing floors.

- [both laugh] - Yeah, OK.

Yeah, no, I think you're right.

Maybe not on this one.

I think we'll let this one go.

♪ ♪

Dick: I think it's the right decision.

There's way too much to fix here, and potentially hundreds

of thousands to spend.

♪ ♪

We'll find our dream chateau.

We will; we'll keep looking.

- [both laugh] - [insects buzz]

Johnny: It's not just finding a home; it'll be the first place

that we've bought together, laying down roots, and just

getting something beautiful that's a monument, really, to

France.

Does it phase us?

Yes [laughs].

No, absolutely, it does.

We're not naive.

We know that it's gonna be a really arduous journey.

Dick: He's not wrong.

With thousands of chateaux out there, this task is going to be

far from a simple one.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Dick: In the Pays de la Loire, Philip and Angelina are already

on their chateau adventure.

They've just secured their first booking--a large anniversary

party in two months' time, and have started the massive task of

getting the place ready.

Philip: It's got lots of trees here which obviously, once upon

a time, had live-in gardeners to deal with.

Unfortunately, I appear to have filled the role of the live-in

gardener.

I had high hopes for sitting on the patio, sipping wine at--with

a newspaper.

I was sorely mistaken.

♪ ♪

Dick: Inside, Angelina has made a start on the interiors.

She is upcycling second-hand furniture bought for next to

nothing.

Angelina: It cost me a third of the price than what it'll cost

me to buy new.

And that's the only way I can afford to furnish each room.

I always use chalk paint because it's what the room needs.

It needs to be lighter so it does bounce a lot more light and

feels more airy and spacious.

Not that the room isn't--I mean, it's pretty huge--[laughs]--but

it's quite a dark room, so I think this is exactly what I

wanted to--to achieve.

That French chic look.

Exactly how you expect a chateau to be.

Phil will absolutely love it when he sees it.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Dick: With the grounds to clear, an outdoor bar to build from

scratch, and a serious damp problem in the guest toilets,

Phil's got more on his plate than a ham and cheese panini.

It could be me being a little bit tired, a little bit grumpy

from being out in the cold, but I don't think there's enough

physical time between now and this party.

What I'm bothered about is how much stuff I've got to do.

Yeah.

And you've got your own stuff.

I can't keep on asking you.

And some of the stuff, you can't do anyway.

OK, if you're about to cry, kinda prep me for that.

- I might think about it. - [chuckles]

Philip: You get to the end of the day, and you just wonder why

you did it all because you're seeing pictures on social media

of your friends out having a party or--"Oh yeah, I

remember."

[laughs]

Back in the day when I had a life.

But if it's worth doing, it's not easy, is it?

Feel confident.

It'll all come together.

Someone's gotta be strong [chuckles].

♪ ♪

Angelina: Oh, yeah, yeah.

Dick: Next time:

Go!

Dick: Caravanning Phil and Angelina style.

Rope snapped!

Dick: Johnny and Ashley view their next chateau--

Oh, babe, this is what we want, right?

Dick:--but discover it's already occupied.

Johnny: Oh, Dick will have a field day with this.

Dick: And Angel tries to help Michael and Jonathan cut down

their bills.

Angel: Michael had a quote for flowers.

I nearly spat out my tea [chuckles].

Dick: But will it be enough to save their business?

Jonathan: If we don't break even this year, it would

be--[sighs]--it would be a disaster.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪