All language subtitles for Escape to the Chateau DIY S01E01.720p.CBC.WEB-DL.DD2.0.H.264-BTN.English

[birds chirping]

I'm Dick Strawbridge, and along
with my wife Angel and our two

children, we left the U.K. for
a whole new life in France and

bought this magnificent chateau.

[Angel laughs, screams]

Dick: We've gradually been
making it into our home, as well

as running it as a business.

♪ ♪

That's a long way up.

But it turns out we're not alone
as dozens of Brits are doing

exactly the same thing.

[child laughs]

Sometimes you have to pinch
yourself to think,"I own

that."

Dick: In this series, Angel and
I will reveal more about our

journey as chateau owners--

Quite a lot of scrap here; it's
worth money.

Might be able to pay you this
time.

--and guide these daring Brits
where we can--

It's a solid old bridge, matey.

--as they renovate--

Man: This is looking good; I'm
quite happy with this.

Dick:--repair--

I've never done this before, so
it should be all right,

Dick:--and struggle to transform
these buildings into their homes

and businesses.

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

Absolutely magnificent.

This is the glamorous chateau
life that i wanted them to try.

Trying to avoid getting my face
near the toilet seat.

This is not the way to make
money.

Dick: But however hard the going
gets, these plucky Brits can

always say they're kings and
queens of their very own

castles.

Woman: Cheers, chin-chin.

♪ ♪

Dick: Today:

Hi guys!

Dick: Two rookie chateau
managers struggle with their

sales pitch--

It's a lot worse than it looks.

I'm gonna turn that into a bar.

- Chris: OK.
- Dick:--and each other.

I don't think it's gonna bother
anyone.

It'll bother me.

♪ ♪

Dick: A couple makes some
unexpected discoveries at their

chateau in the Loire Valley.

Jonathan: Wow, oh my goodness.

- Dick: Some surprising--
- Mother lode!

Dick:--others rather worrying.

Michael Halpin: Alex has found
some dangerous chemicals in

there [chuckles].

Dick: And as one couple start
the search for their fairy tale

chateau--

Ashley Adams: Oh, stunning.

Beauty and the Beast.

Johnny Peck: This room, it just
makes me wanna twirl.

[both chuckle]

Dick:--Angel and I give them
some invaluable advice.

Are you serious, you're buying a
chateau?

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

♪ ♪

Dick:--walk up it, but the
chickens will roost on it.

I'm Dick Strawbridge--engineer
and former Lieutenant-Colonel in

the British Army.

With my wife Angela, we've been
renovating our chateau into a

home and business.

♪ ♪

This is my calling in life.

Dick: It's been--not been easy.

I'm a bit too old for this.

[huffing and puffing]

But what people don't realize is
the hard work starts before you

even get the keys.

What do you think, Abernathy?

Gonna go find a chateau?

Dick: Meet chateau shoppers
Johnny and his American-born

partner Ashley.

He's an artist; she's a
television producer,

and they want to buy
their very own castle.

The dream for both of us is to
find a chateau, something that's

got, obviously, history.

A lot of them are in the ruined
state.

We're talking no roofs; walls
are falling down.

And the beautiful thing in
France, there is so many

properties like that out there.

Yeah, we're just so excited
about it.

And then to just bring it back
to life.

I think that's the most exciting
part.

Dick: After meeting a year ago,
they set up home near

Montpellier in the south of
France, in a small townhouse in

the medieval town of Pézenas.

[bell chimes]

Just to live amongst history is
such a dream.

In America, you don't get
buildings that old, ever.

- Johnny: Hmm.
- It's just so exciting.

♪ ♪

Dick: Artist Johnny has his own
gallery and workshop here.

It's actually a famous time for
artisans.

That's one of the reasons that
we--we picked to live here.

Dick: He's got hundreds of
pieces of artwork taking up

space in his gallery and their
small home.

Plus, they share an addiction.

♪ ♪

Our passion is antiquing.

Johnny: We're kind of like
magpies, so this, for instance,

is just probably 1% of a glimmer
of our personality, right?

Things that were collected all
the way around France.

Dick: So they're talking the
plunge and buying something

big...very big.

So we've done the math, and I
think we come out with E=MC

chateau.

- [both laugh]
- Right?

Dick: They're also hoping their
chateau will provide them with a

whole new business.

We want to be able to have a--a
gallery and a big workshop.

Johnny: Hmm.

But also, in the future, a café.

So the more space, the better.

Johnny: Yeah.

♪ ♪

Dick: But before they start the
search for their dream home,

they've asked me and Angel for
some advice.

Ashley's jetted off to the
States for work, but Johnny's

driven from the south of France
to meet us at our place.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Johnny: Oh my god.

What a first impression, hey?

Oh, this is awesome.

Actually, I really wish that we
had found this one before Dick

and Angel [laughs].

They have got a beauty here.

They really have.

[birds chirping]

Dick: Hiya, Johnny, how you
doing, fella?

Johnny: Hi Dick.

How was the journey [laughs]?

It was long.

- Lovely to meet you.
- Good to see you, mate.

Johnny: I'm lost for words.

Honestly, I really am.

Dick: We actually searched long
and hard.

Yeah?

You know, we did--it's not a
matter of you sort of turning

up, finding a chateau, and
moving in.

Sure, yeah.

Dick: Do you know how big you're
looking for?

Um...well, the bigger the
better.

I mean, who doesn't want a big
French chateau, OK?

- And--
- This is small.

[Johnny laughs]

Dick: This is classed a small
chateau.

Let's go see Angela--let's go
meet Angela.

Johnny: Yeah, should we do that?

♪ ♪

Johnny: Thank you.

- Hey gorgeous!
- Oh, wow!

Angel: Morning, how are you?

Hello, darling, nice to meet
you.

Angel: Muah, muah.

Dick: If we're gonna give Johnny
a few pointers on buying a

chateau, we need to know a bit
more about what he and Ashley

are after.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Cheers.

Johnny: Thank you so much for
having me, guys.

So are you serious, you're
buying a chateau?

- You're not stupid
- [laughter]

Have you thought about this?

For us, a chateau it's--it's the
beauty of the old stone,

the architecture, it's the
history that goes into it--

Yeah.

--you know, the worn floors that
servants have walked over for

generations and generations
serving their masters--all the

family above--and just being
part of that and feeling it,

you know?

- He is that stupid.
- [laughter]

Angel: How long you been
together now?

Just over a year, actually.

I think that the commitment is
absolutely huge.

Johnny: Hmm.

If you've got the same values,
you'll get through it.

And we work our socks off, don't
we--

Dick: Mm hmm.

--building what we've got for
the children, and what have you.

Johnny: Mm hmm.

And when you've got that dream,
you put the hard work in.

Yeah, we want to do--start off
small with like a little bed and

breakfast.

Angel: Yeah.

Build it up to a bit more, um,
hotel--

Angel: Mm hmm, boutique and--

- --boutique-style hotel.
- Angel: Yeah.

But the big draw card, really,
in--is looking for a chateau

that's got outbuildings, so that
I can have my big workshop--

Angel: Mm hmm, yeah.

--so I can have my art gallery.

I think the best thing we can do
is have a look at some things

and just sort of give you a bit
of guidance as to what to look

out for and what to be scared
of.

OK, sure.

Dick: Because, you know--

♪ ♪

Dick: I'll try not to scare him,
but I don't think Johnny has a

clue how much he's bitten off
when it comes to choosing a

chateau.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

♪ ♪

Dick: Just 25 miles north of
ours is another chateau:

The 17th century Chateau
Bailleul.

♪ ♪

Dick: It has 30 rooms and sits
in six acres of land.

It lies in the Pays de la Loire
region of France and is rented

by estate agents Philip and
Angelina Baillie-Smith.

Philip: All right, home sweet
home.

Dick: Bored of the London rat
race, they moved to France where

they got married.

Now they're renting the chateau
to see if they want to make the

move and buy their own castle.

Philip: I thought let's rent
first.

We'd get to genuinely experience
the life that we're planning on

buying into.

Angelina: Try before you buy.

Philip: Yeah, something like
that.

Angelina: There you go
[chuckles]

Philip: It costs us about
40,000 euros a year to

be here.

By the time you put your heating
costs, all the rest of it.

♪ ♪

Dick: They can only afford to
live here by continuing their

estate agent business in London.

But to help make ends meet, and
decide if they want to buy their

own chateau, they are now going
to hire out the chateau for

events.

Philip: We've been in the U.K.
for three weeks.

Best turn the water back on.

[grunting] Watch yourself.

Dick: Today, they're meeting a
local English couple who have

agreed to have their anniversary
party here.

Philip: This is where the
stopcock is.

[grunts]

It's under a lot of foam, keep
it from freezing [chuckles]..

I'll glad you're doing it and
not me.

Philip: Water's on.

Dick: This will be Phil and
Angelina's first booking.

Philip: We can afford to stay in
a place like this, but it's

absolutely pointless unless
you're gonna run a business out

of it.

This event, coming up this
summer, is our dry run.

We really need to make sure it
goes off without a hitch.

♪ ♪

Dick: The couple coming today
want to discuss the finer

details of their big party.

♪ ♪

Angelina: It's always quite
stressful when I've got these

guests coming up, and I probably
got under an hour to tidy up

lots of rooms, get ready, get
the dog out of the way as well.

Lightning, come.

Good boy.

Dick: But having clean rooms and
a clean dog are the least of

their worries.

♪ ♪

Dick: The guest toilets have a
serious damp problem.

Angelina: Oh, wow.

That's--it's quite mean.

Whatever damp-proof membrane was
on this wall was holding the

water.

Angelina: You might not wanna
touch that.

♪ ♪

Dick: And the outdoors
entertainment needs a bit of

work.

- I'll turn that into a bar.
- Bar, yeah, I agree.

[birds chirping]

Look, this is my plan:

Put a tilt in this so there's a
run, and we put a roof on it.

How about a Perspex roof?

Perspex looks like it's cheap
and quick.

- If you got white canvas--
- Yeah.

--it's got the weddingy sort
of--

It's vintage, yeah.

- --shabby, chic feel to it.
- Angelina: Shabby, yeah.

And here--

I don't think it's gonna bother
anyone.

It'll bother me.

[birds chirping]

Dick: With their party clients
due to arrive at any moment,

Phil and Angelina have to focus
less on the shabby and more on

the chic.

To make their day as special as
we found our wedding here,

maybe, with a little bit of
luck, they can see through the

mess, and we're all good.

[vehicle honks]

Angelina: They're here!

Hi guys!

Dick: Retired pilot Chris and
his wife Rosanne have lived in

this part of France for 12 years
and have agreed to celebrate

their golden wedding anniversary
in Phil and Angelina's chateau.

They're joined by their son
Christian who will be the DJ on

the big day.

- So nice to see you.
- [laughter]

Chris has been away most of our
married life, flying, and we

haven't been out to celebrate
many anniversaries, so this is

going to be really special for
us.

And 50 years, it's a lifetime,
isn't it, I suppose.

Doesn't sound very good, does
it?

[laughter]

Shall we go in?

♪ ♪

Dick: A lot depends on how the
next few hours go.

It's not just the booking that
could be in question, but the

couple's plans for a future in
their very own chateau.

We don't get it right for these
guys and this day,

we'll probably think about
maybe this isn't for us.

I just really hope that's not
the case.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: This is the magnificent
Chateau de Jalesnes.

It's the home of British couple
Michael and Jonathan.

Located in Loire Valley, they
bought this place in 2014 for

just over £750,000.

It was the same price as our
flat in London.

That's how ridiculous it was.

We thought it was too good an
opportunity to--to miss.

♪ ♪

Dick: Back then, the place
looked very different.

The first sight of it in the
flesh, rather than the estate

agent's details, was "Wow."

♪ ♪

I think it was even more"wow"
because it was so neglected.

There was--had little trees
growing out in the moat, where

we're sitting at the moment,
and--

Oh yeah [chuckles]

--it was up here somewhere.

I mean, you could get lost in
it.

The goat [chuckles].

Jonathan: There was thorns and
thistles, ivy and trees and

ponies and donkeys and goats.

The challenge was superhuman,
and that's what appealed to the

two of us.

Dick: With the help of
investors, they've converted it

into 15 holiday apartments and a
location for weddings.

But they're struggling to make a
profit, so this year is

make-or-break.

Michael: Jon and I don't earn
anything out of this until it

starts making money.

We're now two years down the
line, and it's still not making

a profit, so we've got a year on
a very, very frugal budget to

go, and then we've gotta make
the decision: Can we still

sustain the two of us being
here?

Dick: They're doing everything
they can to keep costs down.

One way of doing that is to use
volunteers.

Michael: We have a system of
volunteers that come from all

over the world to give us a
hand.

So, these guys come along, give
us their skills that we haven't

got the aptitude to do, and then
we give them food and luncheon.

Barter works for all of us.

♪ ♪

Dick: Today, the volunteers are
going to help Michael and

Jonathan search some unexplored
caves in the chateau's dry moat.

They're hoping they might
uncover some surprises that

could make or save them some
much-needed cash.

All the stone around the moat,
et cetera, was dug out to build

this chateau, so this stone for
this building has come from

these moats and these caves.

Jonathan: And we still haven't
been in all the caves.

There's still some that are
unexplored.

We just haven't had the time
because we've been so busy with

this.

Dick: Who know what secrets lie
hidden in some of these caves?

This entrance could have been
bricked up for several decades,

perhaps even centuries.

And eventually, we hope to see
what mysteries lie behind it.

There's a lot of local rumours
about a tunnel system and

treasure.

♪ ♪

Dick: The caves they're
exploring today lie just off the

entrance tunnel to Chateau de
Jalesnes' dry moat.

Jonathan: If there's anything
dangerous, just shout out.

Don't try to deal with it.

If you find any treasure, it's
mine.

- Michael: Mine.
- [laughs]

Jonathan: Otherwise, let's have
some fun.

Does it open up?

Come on then, that's a good
start [grunting].

- OK, come on in.
- Woman: OK.

Jonathan: So, building materials
need to go into the cave next

door.

Anything that you think can be
recycled, we'll put in one pile.

Superb, let's get stuck in.

Woman: OK.

Jonathan: That's rubbish,
Michael.

[chatter]

Hey, what is...

Wow, oh my goodness.

[blows]

Michael!

Dick: They've only been working
five minutes when the cave

throws up a surprise.

Jonathan: Michael, where's that
from then?

When you see things like this,
it's often to do with the

Revolution.

The heads have been chopped off
and the hands have been chopped

off.

Dick: In 1794, when the peasants
came through this part of the

country, they vandalized any
images of nobility.

These statues were made before
then.

Jonathan believes way before
then.

We know there was a medieval
manor house on the same site of

the chateau today, and we know
that the chateau's been built

piece by piece.

The earliest bit that we've got
at the moment dates from 1530,

but this is pre that even, which
we just need to keep now.

We need to show it, display it,
get it up, so that everybody who

comes to the chateau can see it.

It's fantastic to find something
like that.

Really good.

♪ ♪

Dick: But just as things are
looking up--

Michael: Alex has found some
dangerous chemicals in there.

[chuckles]

Jonathan: How do you know
they're dangerous?

Because it's got "dangerous"
written on the bloody barrel.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Dick: Back to our place in
northwest France.

Aspiring chateau buyer Johnny
has come for some advice.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Dick: It might be a dream to own
a fairy tale castle with turrets

and towers, but buy the wrong
place, and it can turn into a

nightmare, so we've got some
simple tips.

- There are a lot of stairs.
- Johnny: Yeah.

Hold up, we've come up three
flights.

Have a look at this next bit.

Johnny: Oh, wow.

Dick: And there's another floor
above this.

You're young and--it doesn't
matter.

But if you are thinking of
having this as--as a business--

Johnny: Hmm.

Angel:--you do have to keep that
sort of thing in mind.

Keep walking upstairs.

You've had too much of a
breather.

I like to see people doing it in
a one-er.

♪ ♪

Dick: Tip number one: Don't
worry about the ceiling,

it's the roof that matters.

You see the little--the little
stainless steel clips on the

tails?

- That's new roof.
- Right, yeah.

- That is a new roof.
- Johnny: Sure.

So when you're looking around--

Johnny: Yeah.

--that has had a problem; it is
now fixed.

Johnny: Mm hmm, yeah.

And that says it's been
maintained.

Johnny: OK.

Dick: Tip 2:

Think about the heating.

So this is a thermal store where
we store all of our hot water.

And if you can actually have an
efficient system of heating,

it's in your best interest,
anything that helps you get

cheaper energy--

Yeah.

Take somebody's arm off about
here--

- [Johnny chuckles]
- --because the bills are big.

- Johnny: Yeah.
- Dick: Tip 3:

Never underestimate the
plumbing.

This little bad boy here--the
old poop tube.

Johnny: Poop tube.

If you are in the bathroom in
the botanical suite on that

side, yeah--

Johnny: Mm hmm.

--your poo has to go over to our
septic tank over on this side.

Johnny [chuckling]: OK.

And, Angela, you didn't want any
external pipes.

- I didn't, sorry.
- Johnny: No.

So consequently, we had to find
a route through the house for

the pipes.

Johnny: Right.

And it has to drop 25 mills per
metre--

Johnny: OK.

--or an inch per yard,
basically.

- Johnny: Yeah.
- Yeah?

So, you've got a progression of
a slope down so the poop keeps

moving.

You have to think about really
boring things like gravity.

Johnny: That's the thing.

For us, the plumbing and
electric with all the piping,

with the thermal store, with the
radiators, there'll be no change

in 25 K.

- Angel: Mm hmm.
- Yeah.

I mean, thus far, all we've done
is talked about where we--you

know, cosmetic stuff, because
that's what you do; you get

excited.

You think about how it's gonna
be projected.

You think of palettes and what
linen you want.

[laughs]

But I must say [chuckles],
hearing this, you know, it's

quite scary because you do have
to think, don't you?

Angel: Yes.

Dick: I think the penny's
finally beginning to drop.

Next:

Keep an eye out for
creepy-crawlies.

- See this?
- OK.

- This is woodworm.
- Hmm.

Dick: And there's rot and
there's various things in there.

But, you know, things like this
has all been treated now.

None of this bothers me.

Further south, where you
are--there's a line, and down

below that line, there's the
things that sort of eat lots.

[chuckles] Termites, yeah?

Dick: You better believe it.

Your area, termites are
phenomenal.

♪ ♪

Dick: Woodworm is relatively
easy to treat, but if Johnny

does choose a place down south,
he'll need to check for termites

because they can be costly.

Come on, let's go down another
floor.

I just hope we haven't turned
him off about the idea of

chateau life completely.

There's lots of things that
sound like there's problems,

but in the end of the day, you
get to live somewhere that is

actually quite special.

Johnny: Yeah.

Dick: And I've got something to
show Johnny that will fire up

his imagination.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

♪ ♪

Dick: 25 miles north, Philip and
Angelina are showing Chris and

Rosanne around their chateau.

- Chris: Hello.
- Nice to see you.

Dick: They've already agreed to
have their 50th wedding

anniversary here.

Today, they're finalizing the
details.

But with more than 30 other
chateaux already up and running

as event locations within 100
miles of here, Philip and

Angelina don't want to cause
them to reconsider.

Here's an idea, right?

It's not often you get to a
50-year anniversary, are you

interested to renew your vows?

You know, there's a chapel, you
know, at the back.

[laughter]

Yeah, after 50 years of
marriage, you're allowed to

say, "No."

[laughter]

That would be good.

Something I haven't thought
about.

- Had you?
- Would I marry you again?

Yeah, of course I would.

He had his fingers crossed.

[laughter]

How about as the starting point,
you know, should we just have a

look, and we'll go from there.

- Yes.
- Philip: Yeah?

♪ ♪

Dick: First up is the entrance
hall which was used as the

dining room for Philip and
Angelina's wedding.

Philip: This room will be
lovely.

Dick: But for this anniversary
party, Philip thinks it would be

better used as a thoroughfare
into the garden.

♪ ♪

Philip: If we move one of these
tables back against the radiator

there--

Group: Yeah.

Philip:--they've got the
champagne, they grab it

themselves--

Yeah.

--and we're into the back garden
before the party starts.

You see me do a toast.

But do we actually want a toast,
hey?

- I think so.
- Philip: Yeah.

It's--you know, you're marking a
day that's special.

We're doing it in a great
setting.

- The toilet's behind there?
- Philip: Yeah.

- How many we got?
- Philip: We've got two.

However--[chuckles]..here we
go.

- After you.
- It's loo time.

- Philip: Yeah, toilets.
- Don't be shy [chuckles].

Rosanne: These are the two
toilets?

Yeah, they'll be unisex.

They're downstairs; they're easy
to get to.

Rosanne: Yeah.

It needs a little work.

Philip: It needs a little bit of
work until it's used.

It'll be--it'll be fine.

It's a lot worse than it looks,
so I don't want to scare you.

- Pretty disgusting, actually.
- Man: Yeah.

[laughter]

Is that a family loo?

You got two in there.

Philip: You both go at the same
time.

Chris: Yeah.

I'm sorry, Phil, I couldn't
invite anybody into those loos.

Philip: As I couldn't even use
them myself.

We're gonna get rid of
whatever's causing the issue,

redo the wall.

Up there, it'll probably just be
plain white.

But you can assure me they're
both going to be flushing

loos--

Philip: Yeah.

--and it's going to look a lot
prettier?

Yeah.

I look forward to seeing them
afterwards.

It'll be interesting.

It's what we do outside that
counts.

[birds chirping]

Dick: Oh, I'd get them out onto
the terrace pretty quick, Phil.

Philip: There'll be some seating
here.

We'll spread around, and I'm
gonna turn that into a bar.

Chris: OK.

Philip: Yeah, you gotta have a
bit of an imagination.

Picture this stuff is not gonna
be here, OK.

Angelina: Yeah, we have a wine
fridge, ice machine.

Rosanne: That's a good idea.

Philip: You're gonna do the
DJing at the party.

Would you put your stuff in
here, and we have actually the

majority of the party here?

The lighting and the speakers,
it needs to be under cover,

really, so ideally, it would
need to be in the marquee.

OK, OK.

- It was in the marquee--
- Yeah?

- --it'd be brilliant.
- OK.

Can I assume all that's going to
be cleared up out there?

Philip: You mean you don't like
fallen trees as part of the

backdrop?

[Rosanne laughs]

Philip: A little bit of faith is
all I ask--

Rosanne: Yeah.

--with a little luck and a lot
of work.

- Just out of curiosity--
- Philip: Yeah?

--have we discussed food?

[birds chirping]

Philip: Uh--

When we did our 60th, we did a
barbecue in the garden.

Philip: Yeah, there's all sorts
of different options.

Chris: Barbecue.

Yeah, it depends on what you
think.

Chris: Barbecue.

I mean, my--barbecue and a
buffet style.

- If it's hot--
- Rosanne: If it's enough--

Just let us know, and then we
can have a look at what we can

do.

Rosanne: And what about tables?

Angelina: Right, should we go
and have a look in the back

garden?

See how we'll lay it out?

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Dick: In the Loire Valley sits
the magnificent Chateau de

Jalesnes.

Owned by couple Michael and
Jonathan, they and a band of

volunteers have been clearing
out one of the unexplored caves

that come off the chateau's dry
moat.

They find some medieval
statues--

It's fantastic to find something
like that.

Dick:--but a minute later, one
of the volunteers finds

something a bit more sinister.

Michael: Alex has found some
dangerous chemicals in there.

[chuckles]

Jonathan: How do you know
they're dangerous?

Michael: Because it's got
"dangerous" written on the

barrel.

♪ ♪

Dick: Michael finds a clue to
what the barrels may contain.

Michael: Someone's written on
the wall,"62 doses for 30

litres of petrol."

So, they're mixing petrol with
something, so that could explain

why we've got all these toxic
fluids back here.

What would you mix with petrol?

No idea [chuckles].

Dick: Some of the barrels
contain vegetable oil left over

from the chateau's hospital
days.

Could it be that they were
mixing it with petrol to try and

increase their stock of fuel?

Back then, engines could
tolerate less pure forms of fuel

than today.

I certainly wouldn't use that
instead of unleaded.

Jonathan: These chemicals that
you have found in these barrels,

we can't really handle them
because if it's got "dangerous"

and "toxic" on it, you have to
get a special contractor to come

in, fill in lots of paperwork,
and they have to dispose of it.

If we leave that--is there
anything else in there, Alex, or

just those?

Alex: And some wine bottles.

Hey, motherlode, we found some
wine!

[laughs]

Man: All right, stop work.

Jonathan: We've got, what, about
four or five cases of wine?

What--what are they, Alex?

- Alex: Uh--
- Jonathan: 1995.

- Look.
- Alex: Yeah, '96.

Jonathan: Côte de Beaune.

Côte de Beaune.

They're covered in dust.

Look at the label on that, how
mouldy it is.

So this is a different one then,
this is a different--this is a

Bordeaux-shaped bottle.

Chateau la Perrière.

It's 19--[blows]--1992.

My god--heavens to Betsy.

Have you seen this, Michael?

No, I heard you though.

There is a great stock of wine
there.

Look at this stuff.

25-year-old Bordeaux [laughing].

[inaudible] '92.

Jonathan: That's 25 years ago.

25-year-old bottle of wine.

Have a look.

Michael: Well, that's tonight,
so it's--

[laughter]

♪ ♪

Dick: What a result.

The statues will benefit the
chateau and make a beautiful

frieze in its entrance hall.

And the wine, if it's still in
good nick, can be the reward for

finding the statues.

I wouldn't mind trying some of
that.

♪ ♪

Dick: As Michael sets about
finding a place to store his

booty, Jonathan heads to the
other side of the dry moat where

one of the volunteers thinks
he's discovered something in

another unexplored cave.

So what--what do you think?

Have you had a look at it?

Cohen: Quite sure there's water
in there.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Dick: At mine and Angel's place
in northwest France, aspiring

chateau owner Johnny has been
getting a crash course in what

to look for when you buy a
chateau.

Before he leaves, there's one
last thing to show him.

I think you should take Johnny
outside to show him some of the

outbuildings.

Talk about studios.

Let's see what you get for free.

Johnny: Oh.

Dick: I'm thinking about it.

I know at the top of Johnny's
wish list are some outhouses for

his gallery and workshop.

So another storey up here,
right?

Dick: Yes, there's three
storeys.

Wow.

Oh, this is huge.

Oh, wow.

The problem is I would say,
is most of them have not been

used for a long time, so have
a good think and have a look

around.

This--all this wood is original.

I probably get more excited
about the outbuildings than I do

the chateau [chuckles].

Dick: Tour over, there's one
final bit of advice:

Always think long term.

We're talking commitment when
you buy a chateau, yeah?

Johnny: Hmm.

So, you know, a puppy's not just
for Christmas.

[Johnny laughs]

A chateau's not just for the
honeymoon period.

It's the long--it's the long
flog.

We looked for four,
four-and-a-half years--

OK--oh, wow.

--before we found this place.

Johnny: Yeah.

Dick: Come on, let's go and get
some air.

It's quite hot in here, isn't
it?

Johnny: They get stuffy, right?

Dick: Yeah.

♪ ♪

Dick: Johnny and Ashley are at
the beginning of an amazing

chateau-buying adventure.

- How are yous?
- They are awesome.

Dick: I have to admit I don't
envy them.

Don't be scared.

We haven't ever regretted what
we've done.

It is so worth it.

We're happy, darling, aren't we?

Yeah.

Johnny, good luck.

Oh, thank you so much for your
advice and everything.

I really appreciate it.

Dick: And don't forget, you've
got the roof, the windows, the

plumbing.

- [laughter]
- Johnny: Nice one.

Dick: Have a nice shop, fella.

I'll keep you posted.

Dick: Cheers, matey.

Angel: Yeah, make sure you do.

Thanks, guys.

♪ ♪

Dick: I hope we've taught him a
thing or two today, and I can't

wait to see what he and Ashley
settle on.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

♪ ♪

Dick: At Chateau Bailleul in
Gorron in northern France, Phil

and Angelina are finalizing the
arrangement for Chris and

Rosanne's 50th wedding
anniversary celebrations.

♪ ♪

Philip: We'll just cut around
here, OK?

Rosanne: OK.

Angelina: This is a really long
walk just to go for a dance.

♪ ♪

Dick: Phil has agreed to erect a
marquee for the party.

He wants to place it at the back
of the grounds, next to the

moat, to give the best view of
the chateau from the marquee

entrance.

Chris: So the marquee go where,
Phil?

Philip: I'm thinking the marquee
goes length ways here.

Dick: But Chris and Rosanne want
it closer to the chateau.

Why not here?

I--see, I was hoping it was
gonna be right there.

Philip: OK.

Chris: That's a wonderful little
spot over there.

Philip: Yeah.

They're gonna sit over there,
and they're gonna drink over

there.

Dick: Phil is worried there
won't be enough room for the

guests if it's too close.

It's the summer.

Most people are gonna be in
front of the marquee.

And if it's a great day--

You're adding enough room for
them to be outside?

Well--[sighs]--I was just
thinking it was convenient.

Philip: It is your day.

Why don't we have it somewhere
in the middle?

♪ ♪

This is kind of the fake line
for the back of it.

That's your space.

- Angelina: Or--
- Philip: Yeah?

Angelina:--or would you rather
it be this, the back of it,

so it's closer?

No, 'cause you've got too little
space at the front.

Angelina: This is the shortest
distance.

Rosanne: Yes, I agree with you.

- That's a good idea.
- Chris: Yeah.

- Philip: Yeah, OK.
- Yes, thank you.

Rosanne: Good girl, good girl.

I was right.

♪ ♪

Dick: The tour is over, but Phil
is worried.

Philip: I think we've done
enough today, but anyone can

walk away and change their mind
afterwards.

If I'm honest, given the
condition of the house, I

wouldn't blame them, I just hope
that they can see through the

mess, we can deal with the
problems, and we're all good.

♪ ♪

Dick: So he's cooked up a treat
to win them over.

Philip: The French don't really
do a Sunday roast.

You can't go out and have one.

No one else in Europe
understands a Sunday roast apart

from the English, so why not
play on that.

And hopefully, that'll seal the
deal.

Let's not say anything too
positive in case I jinx it.

So hungry.

Where would you like me to sit?

- Anywhere you like.
- Rosanne: Anywhere.

Dick: As with all Sunday roasts,
timing is everything.

♪ ♪

Dick: Unfortunately, Phil is
cooking in two kitchens at

either end of the chateau.

♪ ♪

Yeah, OK.

Is that Phil?

Where's Phil?

Angelina: He's coming; I can
hear him.

Dinner.

[Philip sighs]

They say to get 10,000 steps a
day.

It's not a problem in a house
like this [laughs].

So I'm running between a kitchen
on one side of an 8,000-square

foot house to the other to try
to cook the meat, the potatoes,

the rest of it, because the oven
here, the glass has fallen out

as I've tried to use it this
morning.

But you know what, it's great
experience for how things go

wrong on an event and on a day,
isn't it?

So, it doesn't really matter.

♪ ♪

Dick: Trying to impress his
guests could backfire on Phil.

If he can't deliver a dinner for
five on time, how's he going to

cope with catering for more than
50?

You know the food's gonna be
absolutely delightful.

It's been a long time coming
[chuckles].

Dick: But Phil knows how to keep
his clients on board.

Angelina: You need help?

- Just keep them entertained.
- Angelina: Yeah.

Philip: Keep the flow of
conversation.

Ply them with alcohol, keep 'em
happy.

Ten minutes late, we'll survive.

We're all good.

Thankfully the wine's flowing,
so everyone will be all right,

so.

Hot stuff coming through!

Dick: Just 25 minutes late,
dinner is finally served.

Philip: OK.

Everyone's had plenty of drinks,
so they are well--

Philip: They're ignoring the
fact it's late?

- OK, good, good.
- Angelina: Yes, great.

Thank you.

♪ ♪

Philip: Enjoy your food.

Sorry it's late.

All: Here's to life!

Chris: Lovely.

♪ ♪

Rosanne: Pork is so sweet.

It's lovely.

British roast in a French
chateau.

Chris: Very, very good.

Dick: The meal's a hit.

But did the rather amateur
chateau tour change their

neighbour's minds?

Rosanne: The only mistake he
made was having the marquee

right at the back of the garden.

It was--it was a long way away
from everything.

So persuading him now to do it
closer to the chateau,

it's going to be good.

If Phil comes up with what he
says he's going to do, with the

backdrop which we've got here,
it's gonna be magnificent.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Dick: Jonathan, Michael, and
their volunteers are exploring

just a few of the 30 caves at
the chateau.

And after a few surprises--

Jonathan: 25-year-old Bordeaux
[laughing].

Motherlode!

Hoo, hoo, hoo!

Dick:--one of the
volunteers--Cohen--thinks he's

found another one.

Cohen: Quite sure there's water
there.

- You are?
- Yeah.

Jonathan: Really?

♪ ♪

Dick: Jonathan's right to be
excited.

A free water source for a
chateau this size could be worth

thousands of pounds.

See, we thought this was a coal
shoot.

We thought that they delivered
the coal here.

It dropped down the bottom, and
you just pulled it out.

So can you tell if I drop a
stone how deep it is?

Cohen: Well, I can make a guess,
but--

Is that all right?

Do you want to plop--plop away
then, Cohen?

Yeah.

OK.

♪ ♪

It's the moment of truth
[chuckling].

[rock plunges into water]

Whoa, a lot of stuff falls in
over.

That's fantastic.

So what we want, a bucket and a
rope, find out how deep it is

and what the water looks like
that comes up.

- Yeah.
- Jonathan: OK?

This is the answer to our prays.

[laughter]

You cannot believe how--how
important this is--

Yeah.

--because the formal gardens are
just at the top.

We just have to go to the top
here, and then we can feed just

one pipe straight out there, and
we can water the whole blooming

lot.

- Cohen: That's great.
- Fantastic.

I can't tell you how made up I
am.

♪ ♪

Dick: Jonathan and Michael
currently spend over £6,000 a

year simply watering the garden.

Jonathan: The garden has been
laid out in the old French

style, and takes a lot of
water to keep the grass all

green.

The business relies on it
because brides need bright green

grass, and the guests want
flowers and the vegetable patch,

the fruit trees, and need I go
on?

This is such an important find.

I cannot tell you how
excited--[sniffles]--how excited

I am about it.

It's just a lifesaver, really,
bills-wise.

OK, I'll feed it through.

So she's the Girl Guides.

Is that what you've done?

All right [chuckles]

Oh yes, we've--we've created our
makeshift bucket, and we'll see

if we can find some water down
in this well here.

OK, off you go.

- All right, go all ahead.
- OK.

Woman: I'm not the well expert.

Do you need to put a stone in
the bottom of it so that it

actually goes under the water, I
think.

- Woman: Yeah--
- Jonathan: We've got one.

Cohen: Going pretty deep.

- Is that it?
- Cohen: Yeah.

OK, I think I have some water.

Jonathan: Superb.

Cohen: Yeah, there's the water.

Jonathan: What colour is it?

Wow, that's not bad, actually.

That's clear.

For--considering that water's
been down there for I don't know

how long, that's fantastic.

We got water!

♪ ♪

Dick: This could be a big
money-saver.

Make no mistake, the chateau has
its own water.

You better tell Michael the good
news.

- Yes?
- Don't say it like that.

This could--I could now make
your day, make your--

- Michael: Whole week?
- Yes, exactly.

Now, you know this coal shoot
behind me here?

Michael: Yeah, is there any coal
in there?

Well, it isn't a coal shoot.

Michael: What is it then,
Batman?

- It's a well.
- Is there water in it?

It's a well, and it's full of
water, and it's right next to

the back garden.

Do you reckon we can get it up
from there to the garden?

Yeah, you get a pump.

So how much did we spend on
water last year, just for the

garden?

7,500 euros or something like
that?

7,500.

So how pleased are you?

Yeah, that's pretty good news.

I think I can sort of say--think
I can take you out for dinner.

- All right [laughs].
- Michael: Great news.

If we can get that pump up here,
yeah, the math would save--save

about 7,000, brilliant.

Fantastic.

Dick: It's been a good day for
Michael and Jonathan.

But even if this well can
provide enough water to cut down

their bills, the only way to
ensure the business doesn't sink

is to secure a big wedding
booking this summer.

♪ ♪

Just to break even this year, we
would need 13 weddings.

We're currently at five.

♪ ♪

Dick: Brit Johnny has been to
see me and Angel for some

chateau shopping tips.

570 miles away, down in the
south of France, he and his

American partner Ashley are
starting the search for their

perfect castle at Chateau de
Jottes.

It is a massive one built in the
16th century.

It looks like it needs a lot of
work, but it's exciting.

♪ ♪

Dick: It's on the market for a
fairly steep 520,000 euros..

But this is the south of France
where the warm climate and glam

location means prices are high.

Even places like this that need
a fair bit of work.

♪ ♪

- Johnny: Oh, wow.
- Ashley: That's nice.

- It's huge.
- Johnny: Oh my god.

♪ ♪

- Johnny: Oh babe.
- [Ashley chuckles]

Dick: The 20-room chateau comes
with a separate three-bedroom

house, five holiday rentals, and
plenty of outbuildings for

Johnny's workshops.

It's 170,000 over their
350,000 budget, but they're

hoping they can get the price
down.

- Bonjour.
- Stéphanie.

It's Johnny.

It's Stéphanie, oui?

- Nice to meet you.
- Bonjour, je suis Ashley.

Stéphanie.

♪ ♪

[door creaks]

Johnny: Here we go, babe
[chuckles]

Wow, babe.

Look at how big this is.

Look at that.

- Ashley: Oh, fire?
- Fire.

Johnny: Ah, wow, what a shame.

♪ ♪

Dick: I knew they're up for a
project, but I worry this might

be a little too much, especially
with the state of that roof.

♪ ♪

Babe, look up here.

- That's water, isn't it?
- Ashley: Yeah.

- So water, fire?
- [laughter]

OK.

♪ ♪

- Ashley: Oh, stunning.
- Stéphanie: Big windows.

Some... Beauty and the Beast
[laughs].

Stéphanie: Yes.

Johnny: This room, it just makes
me wanna twirl.

[both laugh]

♪ ♪

Johnny: How long has the
property been vacant?

Empty?

- Ten?
- Johnny: Ten?

- Yes.
- Johnny: Oui.

Torch time.

We need a miner's hat.

- Johnny: Oh, restaurant.
- Stéphanie: Yes.

- Johnny: Oui.
- Ashley: Oh.

Johnny: And then there was a
fire.

♪ ♪

Here we have some he's and
her's.

This is quite nice here.

The tap doesn't work.

The toilet roll.

Oh, look, there's a view there.

♪ ♪

Johnny: Broken doors and empty
bells.

Ashley: Or baby shoes.

Look.

"Mama."

"Mom."

Bobo, what you think?

Oh, that's very creepy, right?

Ashley: That's very creepy
[laughs].

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Ashley: The room goes on and on
and on.

Stéphanie: More rooms.

Ashley: Oh my goodness.

I mean, my gosh, everything
would have to come out.

That was one hell of a fire, eh?

Ashley: Yeah.

Johnny: Roared right through.

Dick: Fire damage, water damage.

This chateau is riddled with
structural issues.

I thought our place needed a lot
of work.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Look at this, this could be a
nice big workshop.

Oh, wow.

- It's deep, right?
- Yeah.

♪ ♪

If it was 300,000, even
350,000, I would say let's do

it.

Johnny: Yeah?

- But 520,000--
- Johnny: Yeah.

--with all of the work, I
just--I don't know.

Johnny: Mm hmm.

You're thinking no, right, kinda
vibes I'm getting?

- I'm thinking no.
- Yeah.

- I love it--
- Johnny: OK.

--but it's just too much work.

Johnny: Sure.

Ashley: We can't do that work by
ourselves.

I mean, it's missing floors.

- [both laugh]
- Yeah, OK.

Yeah, no, I think you're right.

Maybe not on this one.

I think we'll let this one go.

♪ ♪

Dick: I think it's the right
decision.

There's way too much to fix
here, and potentially hundreds

of thousands to spend.

♪ ♪

We'll find our dream chateau.

We will; we'll keep looking.

- [both laugh]
- [insects buzz]

Johnny: It's not just finding a
home; it'll be the first place

that we've bought together,
laying down roots, and just

getting something beautiful
that's a monument, really, to

France.

Does it phase us?

Yes [laughs].

No, absolutely, it does.

We're not naive.

We know that it's gonna be a
really arduous journey.

Dick: He's not wrong.

With thousands of chateaux out
there, this task is going to be

far from a simple one.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Dick: In the Pays de la Loire,
Philip and Angelina are already

on their chateau adventure.

They've just secured their first
booking--a large anniversary

party in two months' time, and
have started the massive task of

getting the place ready.

Philip: It's got lots of trees
here which obviously, once upon

a time, had live-in gardeners to
deal with.

Unfortunately, I appear to have
filled the role of the live-in

gardener.

I had high hopes for sitting on
the patio, sipping wine at--with

a newspaper.

I was sorely mistaken.

♪ ♪

Dick: Inside, Angelina has made
a start on the interiors.

She is upcycling second-hand
furniture bought for next to

nothing.

Angelina: It cost me a third of
the price than what it'll cost

me to buy new.

And that's the only way I can
afford to furnish each room.

I always use chalk paint because
it's what the room needs.

It needs to be lighter so it
does bounce a lot more light and

feels more airy and spacious.

Not that the room isn't--I mean,
it's pretty huge--[laughs]--but

it's quite a dark room, so I
think this is exactly what I

wanted to--to achieve.

That French chic look.

Exactly how you expect a chateau
to be.

Phil will absolutely love it
when he sees it.

♪ ♪

[birds chirping]

Dick: With the grounds to clear,
an outdoor bar to build from

scratch, and a serious damp
problem in the guest toilets,

Phil's got more on his plate
than a ham and cheese panini.

It could be me being a little
bit tired, a little bit grumpy

from being out in the cold, but
I don't think there's enough

physical time between now and
this party.

What I'm bothered about is how
much stuff I've got to do.

Yeah.

And you've got your own stuff.

I can't keep on asking you.

And some of the stuff, you can't
do anyway.

OK, if you're about to cry,
kinda prep me for that.

- I might think about it.
- [chuckles]

Philip: You get to the end of
the day, and you just wonder why

you did it all because you're
seeing pictures on social media

of your friends out having a
party or--"Oh yeah, I

remember."

[laughs]

Back in the day when I had a
life.

But if it's worth doing, it's
not easy, is it?

Feel confident.

It'll all come together.

Someone's gotta be strong
[chuckles].

♪ ♪

Angelina: Oh, yeah, yeah.

Dick: Next time:

Go!

Dick: Caravanning Phil and
Angelina style.

Rope snapped!

Dick: Johnny and Ashley view
their next chateau--

Oh, babe, this is what we want,
right?

Dick:--but discover it's already
occupied.

Johnny: Oh, Dick will have a
field day with this.

Dick: And Angel tries to help
Michael and Jonathan cut down

their bills.

Angel: Michael had a quote for
flowers.

I nearly spat out my tea
[chuckles].

Dick: But will it be enough to
save their business?

Jonathan: If we don't break even
this year, it would

be--[sighs]--it would be a
disaster.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪