Original subtitles

COLLEGE SWING

What diabolical invention is it that insults our ears?

What is your name?

Benny Goodman.

You will never achieve anything.

It is a pleasure to deliver diplomas to graduates.

They will form a line to my left.

Mr. Jenkins will remove his chair.

Mr. Webster will stop crossing his legs ... limbs.

I don't want any kind of demonstration.

Remember: It is a solemn occasion.

First of all, Miss Dorothea Rutledge.

And then Mr. Francis de León ...

Mr. Walter Martín ...

Miss Fifi Booth ...

Mr. Wellington Smith.

My friends, graduation ends here ...

highest grade in Aldentown village ...

in the year of our Lord, 1738.

Therefore, I will tell parents ...

Come on, girl. I told you not to come up here.

- You will not receive your diploma. - Why?

Because this is the ninth year you have failed the exams.

- Why? - Why did you fail?

Yes because?

Because in every area of school work ...

You are always puzzled by questions.

Oh no. They are not the questions. The answers baffle me.

Silence!

However, I can only repeat that you will not have a diploma.

Therefore, parents ...

May I suggest a suggestion?

Yes. It won't make any sense, but go ahead, girl. That?

Instead of sitting at my desk year after year ...

Wouldn't it be better if I started making paper ...

to be able to do my diploma?

Even if you were lucky enough to manage to make paper ...

your diploma would be blank because you can't write.

True, but it would be silly to have a diploma with letters on it ...

because I couldn't read it.

Silence!

Or could you read it?

Shut up, impossible girl, and listen to your grandfather.

Your grandmother and I met in this classroom.

We send our children here ...

and they sent their children here.

I see. So if I have children ...

Do you want me to bring them to this school with me?

Silly stuff!

You should be thinking about your diploma.

Your grandfather knows what he's saying.

It would be nice to have a diploma before having children.

It would be better to have a husband.

Stop it, no more chattering!

If Gracie Alden, my granddaughter, never graduates ...

I will leave all my money to this school ...

until some Alden woman graduates from her.

If no Alden woman graduated ...

the money would be the property of the school.

Oh! Oh! But when?

In accordance with her majesty's law , there must be a date.

How long do you think it will take for an Alden woman to graduate?

In all honesty, sir, I think ...

that a girl like her little Gracie ...

He couldn't graduate in 100 years.

Maybe not so soon, but I bet he would make it in 200 years.

Well, so be it. 200 years.

That would be the year 1938.

How good!

THE PREFERRED LOCATION

- Hello Betty. - Hi, Jackie.

- Hi, Skinnay. - What's up, Jackson?

Come up.

You, linda, canta.

Teacher, teacher I like to dance the swing

Ho ho, look how I dance

Teacher, teacher This is a special feature

Still don't believe too much

You will not be the master's favorite

You won't have the beat until you dance the College Swing

- Tell me what they called it - University Swing

- I don't have the rhythm - No, you don't

- I won't stay with him - You won't

- Didn't I impress them - No, sir

Oh poor me

Oh teacher, teacher show this fool

Oh tell him what's good

When he dances the University Swing

- University Swing - Tell me what you call it

They don't serve jelly at Notre Dame

Not even in the Army vs. Navy game

It is part of education

College Swing

You heard the teacher sing and shout

You know the lesson

So let's go with the musical group

College Swing

Listen to the University Swing

"If I don't answer, it 's because I'm studying ...

"If I don't answer, it 's because I'm studying ...

So please come in and wake me up

Thanks, Gracie Alden. "

My, my, students come and go ...

but the Aldens stay forever.

- Hi, Gracie. - Hi, Bud. This is hard.

Yes. I bet between the pages of these old books ...

You find many bones hard to crack.

You will say nuts!

And some nuts don't even break.

Don't worry, Gracie, the main bone is gnawed.

Forget the fun, I came on business.

- You didn't sign our contract. - How do you know?

How? Well, it doesn't have a signature.

How do you know that it was me who didn't sign?

Perhaps it was someone else who did not sign.

Gracie, this contract must be signed for me to show my good faith.

Neglect. Your word is enough for me.

Yes, but the Trust Company will not do.

¿No?

Be nice and sign here.

I don't like to sign things that I didn't write.

If you want me to write you a poem, I'll sign it.

Thanks, but it's a contract. I will explain it to you.

For $ 10,000, I'll teach you and guarantee you'll graduate.

Do not be silly. If you give me $ 10,000 ...

I don't care if I graduate or not.

I'm not the one who will give you $ 10,000 ; you will give them to me.

So the deal is $ 20,000.

Yes. I knew you would understand.

Now when the college and the money are yours ...

you will hire me as your manager and advisor ...

for a salary of 25 thousand per year plus the usual benefits.

The usual benefits? Don't change the subject.

Will you sign this contract or will I sign this contract?

- Your. - Well, don't pretend I'll do it.

Gracie, whatever you say. Here's my pen. Sign there.

Wait. Will this be legal if I sign with your pen?

Could you keep a secret?

Sure!

It's not actually my pen.

That is even better.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

- Do you want a drink? - Of course.

I am inclined to doubt whether Mr. Brady's request is correct.

It is totally correct.

I do not ask the questions that will be in the final exam.

I never would.

As your teacher, I am interested in what will be covered in general.

I try to protect my ten thousand dollars ...

to my delicate client.

We have a letter from Mr. Hubert Dash ...

a descendant of the founder of this school ...

and an outstanding student of this university.

Hey, this Hubert Dash is kind of wacky ...

It's a bit eccentric, isn't it?

He has, or at least had, a marked phobia of women.

His fear of women led him to the jungle of South America.

And there he consoled himself when he discovered a gold mine worth 25 million.

He came back recently and I asked him ...

to prepare and carry out Alden's graduation exam.

Here is your acceptance. You see, Mr. Brady ...

none of us know what your exam will contain.

- Sorry. GeorgeJonas. - Yes, Mr. Dash's assistant.

- Mr. Ashburn? - Yes. How are you doing?

Professor Brisa, Dean Sleet ...

Dr. Lluvia, Professor Storm.

Is this a university or the meteorologist?

And Mr. Brady, Ms. Alden's teacher.

Where is Mr. Dash?

Send your apologies. You know, women.

- Women? - The usual phobia.

It got worse after being away from them for 20 years.

Mr. Dash needs bodyguards to keep the women away.

That's more or less my job.

And pushing women away seems very enjoyable.

And Ms. Alden's final exam ?

Mr. Dash prepared a list of questions.

- I'm dying to see them. - I made several copies.

- There you have them? -Yes.

How annoying these flies!

Pick up the phone, President Ashburn.

I didn't hear it ring.

Well, don't wait until the last minute.

Well, thank you, a thousand thanks.

It will not be easy.

"What element does bread contain that provides heat to the body?"

What element does bread contain that provides heat to the body?

I'll let you find out. Goodbye.

Geez, guys. Any girl but this one.

Virginia Ashburn no. I have ... I have a personal motive.

Ómicron Tau ignores personal reasons.

Your initiation dictates that you serenade the president's daughter.

Please, guys. I am in love with her.

Oh no, brother Bates. You haven't even dated her.

I know, Skinnay, but that's why.

How can I enter your life looking like this?

- We can do this? - Sure.

My friends!

Come out from behind your window

Go for a walk along the Path of Lovers

Beautiful lady I would like to talk to you

Do you want to talk to me?

With you

There you are, radiant

Tan some flower, tan always me tan Christmas night, Chanel Número 5

So amazing

How am I doing, boys?

Beautiful lady I feel the need to quote

Everything Shakespeare wrote

But oh

I can not remember anything

Oh what's as rare as a talán, talán

To be, to be or not to be The Merchant of Venice in a tree

Friends, Romans Poor Yorick, I missed my ticket

Oh tell me what am I trying to do

I don't know, and you?

What did romeo say

To Juliet

You excite me so much that I forget

What did Juliet say

To romeo

I am so captivated that I don't know

Oh i wish

Having studied Shakespeare for occasions like this

And I wish I had rehearsed a scene or two

Because what Romeo

He told Juliet

I could not tell

Oh, speak again. Speak again, bright angel.

You do not hear me? Listens.

What did Juliet say

To romeo

Oh Romeo, Romeo. Why is it you, Romeo?

I'm here.

Oh a tender sonnet

Get a kiss

So you better go home study two or three

Because what Romeo

He told Juliet

You couldn't tell me

It's Dean Sleet! Let's go!

Young man, do you consider this a joke?

No, Dean Sleet. It is...

It's ironic, it's tragic, it's strange.

He is drunk.

Nerd. No!

Good evening, Dean Sleet.

An intoxicated jester!

- Young man, your name. - What does it matter now?

His name is Martín Bates, and this is his initiation in Ómicron Tau.

His uncle is Hubert Dash ...

and his guardian is the Trust Company.

She knows me.

Oh, I remember.

I'm afraid Mr. Bates is a little ...

We'll skip it this time ...

but you better go back to your fraternity.

Yes ma'am.

I still believe that these initiations that include semi-nudity ...

they are definitely indecent.

Thank you dear.

The air currents affect me .

- Here you have. - You stuck your thumb in the soup.

Do not worry. The soup is not hot.

Don't worry me?

Can't they do better than being waiters?

So is. With this we pay for the university.

They are the worst waiters I have ever seen.

- You heard me! - What do you think? I quit.

I'm sick of carrying trays and taking orders

To serve potatoes, pork and beans to what they call me slow

I'm sick of carrying trays in this place

He's sick of lugging trays in this place

I'm sick of waiting tables and serving food

Ham, bacon, fried chicken No more knives and forks

I'm sick of carrying trays in this place

I don't like fried chicken

Hallelujah

I don't care if the students keep kicking

- Oh Lord - Shut up.

Let them keep their fried chicken Let them kick

Let them keep their fried chicken Let them kick

I'm sick of being asked about the menu

Bring me the soup, bring me the meat I'm getting bunions

I'm sick of carrying trays in this place

I'm tired!

How about? Is tired.

Oh yeah? Jack, play some of that good swing.

That will lift it.

That's enough!

I'm sick of these tunes that make them dance

You try to make an effort And I'm going to tell you

- That? - I'm a freelance waiter.

- What do you mean? - Nobody gives me orders!

- You want to play, huh? - Want to play.

How are you?

Wow! That is wonderful, wonderful.

I like it.

Do you like it

What are you laughing at? Do this.

- That? - Do this.

Wait.

- You kicked my ... - This is not my cap.

- Take that. - That one is very dirty.

- Ready. That's mine. - Is it your cap?

- Give it to me. - Take it.

- That's my cap. - Is it your cap?

- Yes. - Well, gosh.

Do you want to hit my face?

Friend.

FINAL EXAM FOR MISS. ALDEN GENERAL INFORMATION

FINAL EXAM FOR MISS. ALDEN GENERAL INFORMATION

UNIVERSITY LAUNDRY

"What element does bread contain that provides heat to the body?

Starch: In the digestive process it turns into sugar ... ".

Boys! Girls! News.

The future of Alden University is going to be decided.

Gracie will take her final exam.

Look at the pole and you will know the result.

A white flag means it passed, and a black one ...

Well, he failed again. That is all.

We can not wait...

answer all these questions.

Impossible.

Hi. They are talking about me?

Miss Alden, I warn you that this is your last chance.

Don't worry and don't respond rashly ...

to Mr. Jonas's questions.

Mr. Jonas, please start.

Thank you.

The first questions: "General information".

The only general I know is General Motors.

And I couldn't give you any information about him.

Srta. Alden, "general" significa "variada".

Oh It was general the "varied" and also the "holidays".

Holidays?

Yes.

The first question.

What element does bread contain that provides heat to the body?

Let me see.

STARCH

Starch.

Right.

The next.

What is the average mental age of the US population?

Do you want the person's age before or after birth?

For example, there are 120 million men and women in the US.

What would your average age be?

SCARVES - 14

14.

Right.

Sure, and that doesn't include hand embroidery.

Hand embroidery? People or mental age?

- The tissues. - Handkerchiefs?

It will be better...

You restrict your comments to questions.

Agree.

The next. How many degrees in longitude make one hour?

According to your watch or mine?

- Whichever. - Late or early?

Does it matter if the clock is late or early?

It matters and it does not matter.

Does it matter and does it matter?

It matters if you are taking a train ...

but it doesn't matter if you cook an egg.

I do not know.

Could you answer the question please?

The next. How many degrees in longitude make one hour?

15.

Right.

It surprises me too.

The next.

Where should I travel from the Greenwich Meridian ...

to arrive an hour earlier?

Let me see.

Vests

Vest.

Vest?

Do you mean west?

Oh, how cute. Say it again. I love his accent.

- My accent? -Yes.

You say vest and I say west.

What silly things they say when they become teachers.

We can give the answer as good.

Four correct answers in a row.

It hasn't happened in 200 years. It can't go on like this.

- Thank you. - Proceed.

I bet Gracie will say all the wrong answers.

It's white! Approved!

Congratulations, Miss Alden.

The university, after 200 years, belongs to the Alden family.

It's a bit premature for me to ask you if you will make changes.

No, it is not premature. It's barely 2:45.

What changes?

I will make some changes that will not only revolutionize this university ...

but the entire university industry .

It could end universities. That is all.

- That's it? - Yes, that's it.

In other words, did you expect to pass this test?

Been here 9 years and had never approved ...

And did you expect to pass this time?

Of course. Do you think me silly?

Why is this time the exception?

Because for the first time he knew all the questions.

You mean you knew the answers.

You have said it.

Very well. What will the changes be?

The first thing I will do is make myself Dean of Men.

You mean: Dean of Women.

That is what you believe.

The dean of men is the one who cares for men.

Yes I know.

GRACIE ALDEN HEREDA UNIVERSITY

START LOOKING FOR A NEW TEACHING STAFF

Hi there?

The Morning Times newspaper?

Yes, I prepared a statement.

"Miss Alden was always annoyed that the boys ...

denied a college education ...

for not graduating from high school with enough credits.

It suppressed the entrance exams to this university. "

You heard me. And consider dropping the rest of the exams.

Ahead.

The most important is...

Oh, forgive me, sir ...

but they told me you were alone.

The most important thing is that you have ...

I will call later. The Normandie just docked.

How are you? Do you want a cigar?

I mean, how can I help you, Countess?

Nerd. I am not a countess. I am an ordinary woman.

Nerd. She is too charming to be ordinary.

- But no. - But yes.

But no no no no

But yeah yeah yeah yeah

Monsieur, how gallant you are. I kiss her hand for that.

- No, let me kiss your hand. - I should kiss her.

- But no. - But yes.

No, let me do it first.

Do you wash your clothes?

Sir, qué "grrraziozo" es.

- How do you spell that? - Forget it.

- No. - But yes.

- No no no. - But yes, yes, yes.

Again with that. Now, miss ...

I am Mademoiselle Therese.

Would you like to sit down, Therese?

My full name is Mademoiselle Theresa Therese.

So, sit down twice.

Why did you want to see me?

Monsieur, I heard you hire professors for the university.

Teaches?

Monsieur, I teach love.

Love?

I have Theresa Therese's love system .

Interesting.

I can't hire you just because you say so.

What is it qualified for?

As if I don't know.

Is your love system good?

And if so, would you try it on me?

Muy well, sir.

- Answer the second question. - Very well.

Stand right here. Oui?

I'll show you Theresa Therese's system.

Ahead.

¡On guard!

Contact!

How close.

Sorry, masseuse ... Monsieur. What are you trying to do?

It is my own idea.

But I'm the one who teaches the lesson. Oui?

Ah, why not "zienta"?

Come back soon.

Hey, fool! Are you okay?

Dupe? Hey, raise that curtain.

What part of Iowa are you from?

I'm from Oklahoma.

You hired so much loon that I thought of getting a job.

Why not?

Mademoiselle Theresa Therese, practical romance teacher.

- Do you hire me? - Of course.

I plan to be the teacher's favorite . And I already know that it will.

I get it.

You are just a donjuán

You are just a pirate

But I like risks

So come hold me

You got the same old answer

For every girl you meet

But here's one, cute that you haven't answered yet

Oh, how cute.

How would you like to love me? How would you like

How would you like to kiss me ?

Tell me if you could learn to split your hair like me

How about loving me cleanly

How would you like to miss me a lot

Tell me if you could spend the day thinking of me

I asked my doctor and my lawyer

Your opinion

The moment they saw you they were overjoyed

How would you like to love me and no one else

How about going to my house to meet my mother

How about having your toothbrush next to mine

What would you think? As for me, it seems fine to me

Take dictation.

How would you like to love me? There is the question

Tell me if you would like to improve my digestion

Would you dare to take care of me from a cold in May

How would you like to love me? That would be divine

Choose my ties Save my money

Tell me if it would make you angry if I won you the bathroom every day

I need a doctor, a lawyer

An accountant

A bridge couple, a babysitter and an angel who knows how to cook

How would you like to love me? It's a good idea

How about a little house by the ocean

I could let my hair down and you would use cleansing cream

What would you think? As for me, it seems fine to me

Take dictation.

- How would you like to love me - Does he mean it?

- How about kissing me? - What a mess.

You could manage to hang my photograph on your wall and leave it there

- How would you like to love me - Geez.

- How would you like to miss me - What happiness.

Would you accept to be the star that guides me

Yes!

How would you like to love me? Tell me if you listen to me

How about a license and a baptism

- A son with my mind - A daughter with a mouth like mine

What would you think? As for me, it seems fine to me

- Watch out the time! - Lunch time.

- It's eight thirty. - How good. Lunch with you?

I'll open this. I know the combination. Let me see.

- Sorry, man. - Do you know this?

Wonderful. I'm not hungry at all.

No hunger.

Hi there? If that? Is for you.

For me?

Wrong number.

- What was that? - I didn't hear anything.

STAFF REORGANIZATION AT ALDEN UNIVERSITY

GRACIE ALDEN DEAN OF MEN NEW

NEW TEACHING STAFF WILL START WORK TODAY

Girls and boys, your new economics teacher : Jasper Chinn.

Professor Chinn studied at Harvard, Princeton, Pitt ...

Notre Dame, the Southern Methodist and the Texas Christian.

- Wake up, professor. - Boys and girls...

Wait. I keep talking about you.

Professor Chinn is a very well educated gentleman .

I know we will enjoy if he talks to us ...

of everything he studied in those universities.

- I did not study anything. - How do you say?

All my life I've been in college.

I attended like everyone else.

Your children will do it just like their mothers and fathers ...

But I want to say one thing ... The situation has ...

I couldn't understand why.

So Washington would be proud that I, by myself ...

Girls and boys, I present to you another new teacher from Ms. Alden:

The doctor of music, Yascha Koloski.

As an encore, I would like to offer you my interpretation of a classic.

Please

Listen to me please

Make me happy please

Tell me that you love me too

Please

Let me hold hard

I could delight in your charms

Every night for the rest of my life

Your eyes show you have the soul of an angel

White as snow but

How long should I play the role

Of the gloomy Romeo

Please

Tell me you don't mean to make fun of me

Hasten the happy ending and please

Tell me that you too

Me

You love

Ms. Alden appointed a new physical education instructor.

A gentleman named Ben Volt.

Of course, I will stay here for the first session ...

just in case.

Young ladies, Professor Volt.

- How are you? - Professor Volt?

Professor, why the marathon?

It was just warming up.

Professor Volt, did you lose control?

Oh, I'll go get it.

Oh, here it is!

I design a device to answer the announcers.

I always want to contradict the announcers ...

after they make some egregious comment.

How vegetarian.

It would be very helpful to be able to answer the radio announcers ...

after a sales pitch.

How much do you plan to charge for your invention?

Oh, $ 49 cash ...

or in weekly payments.

How much weekly?

Well, that ... I'll calculate it.

They should put light in here. Now, let me see.

It would be seven payments.

49 out of seven are ...

Nine out of seven: One; I take two. 42 times seven is six.

It would be seven payments of $ 61 each.

That doesn't seem right.

Multiply 61 by seven and see if you get 49.

You are skeptical, right?

Seven by one: Seven.

Seven sixes is 42.

Seven plus two equals nine. Forty nine.

To clarify this, can I write 61 seven times and add them up?

On the contrary, go ahead.

My father used to say: "The figures don't lie ...

but liars can encrypt. "

You add them.

Sure.

Seven sixes is 42.

43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49.

Forty-nine in a straight line.

Young man, are you mastering calisthenics as well as math?

Calisthenics? Hold this.

Before starting to exercise, he was a weak man.

And now look at me.

Pure muscle.

Girls, come on. Hurry up.

Exercise, girls. That.

Now, girls, follow me.

And one and two.

Very well. And one and two.

Here I go.

The next exercise: Weightlifting.

The most important thing about the lift is the rhythm ...

muscular.

So...

The next exercise will be with these pulleys.

Everybody grab a pulley. Take a pulley.

Very well. Pull it up. Very well.

First, build your back muscles.

Open them like this. Very well.

Second, build your shoulder muscles.

I'll show you. So.

Now back up.

Now let go.

Come on, girls.

Young man, do you know anything about calisthenics? About boxing?

- Fencing? Wrestling? - Oh yeah.

What wrestling school do you prefer?

Simple wrestling.

- Which girl do you prefer? - The blonde.

She. Wrestling is the manly art of self defense.

Protects.

Here I go.

I better teach you jiu-jitsu.

This is called the arm lock.

Nobody can get away.

That. You see?

I've been robbed.

- Is this what you mean? - Ahead. Do it.

You better fight, professor.

Who's next? I will fight with whatever.

Enough wrestling.

Now, fencing. Professor Volt, choose your weapon.

I win?

I'll take the one that's left-handed. Thank you. Cute gift.

- En garde. - What happened?

Do I owe you money or something?

Should you drop out of college?

Why do you have to go?

It's horrible, isn't it?

What if you told the Trust Company ...

that you will stay here?

They are my tutors. If they tell me I have to go to Oxford ...

What else can I do?

Well, Leandro crossed the Hellespont.

I know, but I can't swim in the Atlantic on a daily basis.

I'll never forget this day.

This day is not the one I will never forget.

I fall in love with you

Everyday

I fall in love with you

In the same way

That in that first moment

A long time ago

I feel the same emotion

The same happiness

Your kiss always seems to me

Something new

And I rediscover

Your charm

And every day

Like on our first date

I fall in love

De ti

I fall in love with you

Everyday

I fall in love with you

In the same way

That in that first moment

A long time ago

I feel the same emotion

The same happiness

Your kiss always seems to me

Something new

And I rediscover your charm

And every day

Like on our first date

I fall in love

De ti

- Goodnight Mr. - Hi, Bates.

Ginna, could you put this in the mail?

I guess it's a love letter.

It's my letter of resignation.

Resignation? Dad, you can't do that. You must not.

Conditions under the authority of our crazy friend ...

they are too dangerous and humiliating for me.

It takes a tougher hand than mine.

That gives me an idea. My uncle Hubert ...

- Who? - My uncle from the gold mines.

It has millions. Promise not to quit until you talk to him.

- I don't know how ... - You're right. Promise not to quit.

I haven't spoken to Hubert Dash since I was a student.

Even so...

- Very good, young man. - Thank my Lord.

Henceforth, I will dedicate my life to protecting Virginia and you ...

Sorry. It was not my intention. I'm sorry.

Nothing happened. It's still on.

Well, good night.

I'm sorry. Goodnight.

Wow. There is nothing so refreshing and so stimulating ...

like a cup of tea after exercise.

- Another cup? - No thanks.

No? It is my favorite tea. Chinese black tea ...

- No thanks. - You don't want tea.

Yeast rolls? I remember my days at Twickenham.

You will enjoy them in England.

I don't want to go to England, man. I love Alden University.

Do you love her?

That sounds like romance. Who is the woman after you?

- No woman is chasing me. - They all do.

They are like felines in the jungle. They sniff at a man and harass him.

They prowl, sharpen their claws and jump.

If you went to Alden, you would see that the university ...

I have no reason to go. It is full of women.

Many college girls who always cheat me.

When I least expect it, one of them will cajole me and ruin me.

I know, I'm unpacking.

- Well. I will not go. - You will not go?

Sure, if you prefer to be the laughingstock of the country ...

The laughing stock of the country? Why would they laugh at me?

For designing an exam that even silly Gracie Alden passed.

Never talk about it. Do not you dare.

I have never understood how Gracie Alden approved it.

There were goings-on. I see cunning in the air.

It is a ruse. All women are crafty.

Gracie is a woman, and therefore she is crafty.

I will face it. I will baffle her.

I will confuse her! Jonas!

Pack my suitcase. I will go.

GRACIE'S UNIVERSITY DEED IS DENIED

PROPERTY HOLDS WAITING FOR A NEW EXAM - FRAUD SUSPECTED

What is this? Here we get off? Where we are?

In his nephew's fraternity.

Here it is safe. Women are not allowed.

- How good. - Officially.

- Officially? Do they get in? - No.

- You just said ... - I was joking.

- A slight attempt to be funny. - Yes, very slight.

There is no time to be funny.

If I run into a woman, I'll get out of here.

Uncle Hubert!

- What happen? - Inside the house, quick!

With everything and the phobia, I won't go into a man's bedroom.

You are a teacher of practical romance. Can't you be practical?

What if you went into a bedroom?

It depends on the girl. Don't change the subject.

If Hubert Dash sees you, there will be no exam.

- Explain the joke. - Wait, Snow White.

If Gracie fails, we will all be unemployed.

I think someone told you about the laundry list.

I get it.

They would never have that list if I had washed my clothes by hand.

What is this goofy thing you're planning?

Tejemaneje?

Tonight, go to Omicron Tau's house . Dash will be there.

In which bedroom?

The one on the corner, the one with the pergola.

Say no more, Svengali.

You have to scare him so much that he flies to South America.

You put me up on that pergola and I'll do the rest.

Baby, come get your reward. En garde.

- Contact. - Yes, man.

You are very advanced in your lessons, eh?

- I have taken private lessons. - I get it.

- You asked for it. - Well said. Hold on.

That kiss made you swoon.

Sure. You kiss like a vacuum cleaner.

I don't like this room. I don't like this room.

Where is my nephew?

This room is not safe. All the windows face the roof of that ...

- Pergola. - Don't tell me what it is.

Any desperate woman could get in there.

Why don't you use my room?

But if it is full of photographs of artists.

I'll keep that room.

Stop smiling like that. They don't take me seriously.

Don't answer me like that. Where is my nephew?

Hi.

- And my nephew? Ah, Martin. - What happen?

I want a safe room or I'll go.

- Use mine down the hall. - On this floor?

In a corner? I will use it. Wait!

- Do you have one of those ... - Pergola.

Don't tell me what it is. Do you have it?

Let's go to see her.

- How are you? - How is it going?

What time is it? A woman in this room at this hour?

It's ridiculous! It is impossible! It is a dream.

You are adorable too, but I didn't come to tell you that.

It's Gracie Alden. Do not tell me.

Why are you here at this hour?

- I couldn't get there earlier. - You must leave immediately.

Go away! How do you think of it?

What an occurrence. A woman in my room.

What will people say? How does this look?

- Very cute. Was a present? - It's silk. I ...

A woman in my room. How awful.

That's what I came to warn you.

- It will arrive at any moment. - Who?

The woman they will send to make love to him and to commit him.

That's ridiculous. Everyone knows what I think about that.

I hate women! I do not like them.

Well, you won't like the one to come ...

because men like it whether they like it or not.

Professor Theresa! Have you been drinking?

You like tricks, don't you?

Silence. Do you want us to be thrown out of here? Expel us?

Who is going to expel me? Tell me!

Silence. Silence.

- Close the door. - It's already closed.

Yes? Hide the key.

It would be foolish to hide her because she would only have ...

to enter, find the key and open.

Yes? Sure. You think of everything.

- Get rid of the key. - That's much better.

- Now you will feel safe. - In this emotional turmoil?

I will never be the same. Look at that face. Look at those eyes.

I am changed, and it was thanks to you, Gracie Alden.

You're welcome, Hubie. You can do something for me one day.

If a woman walked in, think what a disgrace it would be ...

for people to hear her scream, "I love you! I love you!"

- Full throttle. - I have chills thinking about it.

And then, get that door slammed ...

and they will find her hugging him ...

and covering him with kisses, like this.

- How? - So.

Kiss Fifi goodbye.

Please. Monsieur, I ...

¡Betty!

Please! Please!

He likes to play, huh?

Monsieur, how shameful this is.

You cannot do this.

Where does it take me?

Silence.

- Hi there? It's Martin. - That?

Do you want to talk to Ginna after what you did?

Ginna doesn't want to talk to you!

Hi there? Hi there?

Monsieur, give me a call sometime.

I will call you!

¡Caray!

Hi. Yes, this is George Jonas.

Who? The manager of the Cafe La Pantufla Azul?

That? He is mad. Mr. Dash never goes to nightclubs.

Seriously? And is a woman with him?

They left 5 minutes ago. Yes, without paying the bill.

He told me that you would pay for it. The bill is $ 85.

¿Hubert?

- Don't you think I am pretty? - Yes, Gracie.

You're right.

You know? Your shoulder is nice, comfortable and wide.

Did the car include it or was it separate?

Gracie, let's not talk. Let's not say anything.

Let's sit here to drink the morning air.

You drank it too fast, Hubie.

Look at that sky, look at the sun, and those trees and flowers.

Why is nature so beautiful at this hour?

Everything makes me think of love, Gracie.

What are you thinking about?

In clams.

Are they not beautiful? I hope I didn't remind you.

No. I was just thinking that ...

if we were clams, we wouldn't take our shoes off.

Wouldn't that be wonderful?

Yes, I guess so.

But, Gracie, leave the clams for a minute ...

I want to ask you for something.

Something that I have never asked of any woman.

- Gracie, would you accept ... - Yes, Hubert.

- Could you ... - Yes, Hubert.

- You think you could ... - It would be my pleasure, Hubert.

Sing me a love song?

You have an innate talent

You definitely own it In a world ...

Please wait. I forgot the lyrics. Please start over.

You have an innate talent

You definitely own it

In a Clark Gables world I found you

You came straight from the sky

Like a lucky number

In a world full of fables you became reality

The moment you passed me

I told myself, I told myself

He is the man who qualifies

Satisfies the conditions Fills my eye

Because you have an innate talent

An innate talent

So naturally I would like to reach

To the altar just one more risk

Naturally with you

To!

They applaud.

BOBA IN CHAIN

GRACIE'S EXAM IN NATIONAL CHAIN

Good Morning. I'm surprised to see it here.

Naturally. It's my office.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

Good Morning.

Number, please.

It is haunted. What did I come for?

Oh yeah. Look at my latest invention.

A combination of handbag and radio.

Have you ever heard of Marconi?

From Marconi? Yes, but the bag was my idea.

Put your feet up. Long.

Go west, young man, go west.

- Where did that come from? - It's my invention.

- This thing? -Yes.

A difficult step, right?

Good.

The new models in women's underwear ...

... should be changed every 1500 km.

- It's a little crazy. - And it's still missing. Wait.

These are hearing aids, designed to be worn on your face.

Here you go.

- Tell me, do you hear something? - Hey, it's very good.

I really think ...

Wait. This could help me!

- Professor, he's a genius. - You can tell me "Geni".

Ms. Gracie Alden organized some of the staff ...

to demonstrate your ideas in education.

The first demonstration will be the practical romance ...

de Mademoiselle Theresa Therese...

and the physical education teacher ...

Ben Volt.

We were a very caramel couple

We danced very intimately

But since we started dancing that thing called Rumba

In a way, I lost you

I knew as soon as that rhythm started

That soon we would part

And now look at us

I am here You are there

You never hold me for a second

Why did the Cubans come up with

See what a Rumba does to romance

I go north you go south

But don't forget to write and tell me how the weather is

I understand that we dance together

See what a Rumba does to romance

Ay, tell me why can't they play a fox-trot

A good fox-trot

This dance is the loneliest

I am here You are there

We have to scream the tender words

It's like you're my little brother

It's like I'm in France

That's what a Rumba does to romance

Come here!

That's what a Rumba does to romance

- You wanted to see me? - What if I want to see you?

More than anyone in the whole world.

And I thought you didn't even care.

Linda, this is important.

See this bag and these glasses? You know that they are?

I'd say this is a bag and those are glasses.

They are for the exam tonight.

This is a radio.

These are headphones and this is a microphone.

All you have to do is wear the glasses ...

and I will transmit the answers to you through this microphone.

Now ladies and gentlemen ...

Miss Alden's all- important exam .

Miss Alden, this is Mr. Hubert Dash.

Wow. Hi, Hubie.

Now, we will begin.

It will be an oral exam. You will not need glasses.

If I didn't have these glasses on ...

I couldn't see anything you say.

It could be that he saw with his nose.

So is.

- See with your nose? - I see what perfume I like.

Miss Alden?

That is an easy question. I'm Miss Alden.

Ask me a more difficult one.

In literature, who spearheaded transcendentalism?

Theodore Parker, Bronson Alcott...

Theodore Parker...

Bronson Alcott, Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Right.

We get many of our words from Danish .

Name six.

Watch out. To call. Boy. Husband. Sister. To die.

Right.

I am correct because I gave the appropriate answer.

If I was wrong, it would be wrong.

Did you hear that?

He answered the other two correctly.

I doubt I can write "cat."

Oh yeah? So, you ask him some questions.

Of course, if that's okay with you.

Of course. Ask me anything.

Why don't you ask me about the laws of gravity?

What does vitamin C contain?

What runs on the ground like a little fish?

Wait!

What runs on the ground like a little fish?

It has feathers?

What if it has feathers?

Does it hang from the ceiling and whistle?

What hangs from the ceiling and whistles?

- I give up. - Do you give up?

You have the most difficult riddles of all.

I give up.

I do not want to play.

A few questions on US history.

In what year did the state of Texas ...

By the way, say the capital of Texas.

Austin.

In what year was Texas admitted to the Union?

1845.

Miss Alden, you're getting hoarse.

Take a throat lozenge .

- Mr. Dash, can I have one? - Of course.

Oh, it's the last one in the box.

- You can take this one. - Thank you. What is it from?

It is menthol.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

Miss Alden, I want you to pay close attention.

I'll ask you about natural sciences.

Say the three divisions of the Earth ...

according to physiography.

Lithosphere ...

Right. The next.

Mineralogy, oceanography, petrology and meteorology ...

are the divisions of what general science?

Right.

She did not say anything.

Don't tell me you didn't say anything.

- I did not say that. - Of course.

And it bothers me. I have a very good ear.

I heard her clearly with a hoarse voice.

Did you say something in a hoarse voice?

No, because I couldn't hear the answers.

The glasses!

Gracie, put your glasses on.

- That? - The glasses.

Ah, my glasses. Yes.

Something extraordinary happened. I still don't know what it is ...

- I know it. - Inform the public.

I'm too busy to take over a university.

It interferes with my education.

I know Alden University is a beauty ...

But I can't wear it to a dance, can I?

Answer me. Or if?

- I do not know what is he talking about. - Sure, anyway.

Alden University has always been a burden to me.

The only thing I want to carry is a pearl necklace.

I've been here for many years.

An ancestor of mine founded the university.

She established? Well, you can keep her for being honest.

- Keep it? - Whoever covers it, keeps it.

Silence please!

Sr. Dash, ¿me permite?

No more questions, professor. And it's not that I'm worried about the exam.

I can answer any question Bud might hear.

You see, this is a radio and these are the headphones.

Bud has many books in his office.

Every time you ask a question, he looks for it ...

and transmits the answer to me.

It is a wonderful system.

They will use it soon in all the good universities.

There is Bud.

Oh no. You will not leave. Come here, duckling.

Gracie's comments sure gave them the impression ...

that there was a hoax.

And he would like to explain ... if possible.

We don't need explanations. Miss Alden ...

He gave the university back to those of us who worship it.

- Thank you. - Thanks to you.

But what about the monetary promise you made me?

Monetary promise?

Yes. How I pay for my services ...

You promised me a fairly large amount .

Of course not. I promised you 25 thousand dollars. Here's the check.

- It's good? - I think so.

Not every day you get $ 25,000.

Wait. Here's a bug.

This check is for Mrs. Mabel Brady.

25 thousand dollars!

This is wonderful!

Let's go!

Ginna, let me explain. Would you leave me ...

Ginna, we can tell you now.

I went up to Martín's bedroom by mistake.

He wanted to get into Hubert Dash's.

And if you don't believe me, ask George Washington.

Ask me anything.

- Bobo. - You think much.

- Contact. - En garde.

- That's. Come, princess of the jungle. - I'm coming, Turangi.

From now on, no matter what they say, I will be authentic ...

because when I am, I look more like myself than anyone.

But if you are half as cute as you are ...

you'll be twice as cute as who you are ...

when you're not authentic

Hubie, were you serious what you said last night?

Last night? What happened last night?

- It was before we were married. - We married?

Of course. Do you think this is candy?

Of course! Sure, Jonas.

That's right, we got married. That's what he couldn't remember.

Mrs. Dash.

Dime Gracie.

They don't serve jelly at Notre Dame

Not even in the Army vs. Navy game

It is part of the Swing University education

Oh dance the College Swing

You heard the teacher sing and shout

You know the lesson

So let's go with the musical group

College Swing

Listen to the University Swing

END