Original subtitles

>> [pounding on door]

[pounding continues]

[pounding continues] >> OFFICER: Police. Open up.

>> OFFICER: Police. Open up.

>> What the hell is this?

>> We picked him up at a protest

rally for immigration reform.

>> What?

>> He was one of the more unruly

protestors.

>> BLUE: Unruly?

>> OFFICER: Yeah.

>> You know what?

That's just cold for "stay in

your place."

But, hell, no, my voice will be

heard, San Diego!

>> Hey!

>> BLUE: The people's voice will

be heard, San Diego!

>> Hey! Hey!

It's 9:00 p.m.

Remind your people that I have

neighbors.

>> Oh, what are they--90?

Thank...thank you.

>> She's 87.

Goes to bed at like 5:00.

>> He's all yours,

Coach--especially since we got

money on next week's game.

>> Isn't that illegal?

>> Not since we brought him here

instead of the station, right?

>> [laughing]

Touché.

Go, Sabers.

>> OFFICER: Go, Sabers.

>> OFFICER: Go, Sabers. >> [laughing]

>> [laughing]

What the hell is wrong with you?

You were supposed to be here

hours ago to review the game

footage.

You were at some damn protest

rally?

>> Yeah.

>> What? What?

Staging a walk-out and getting

suspended by the team, that's

not enough civil unrest for one

month?

>> No, and you know what?

Ever since I stood up for

the team, I realized how much

inequality and hardship there

is in the world, Jason.

Yeah, I'm just doin' my part, J.

>> Oh, my God...

>> Mm-hm. Get on the bus.

>> Okay, you know what?

That's all very idealistic

and Martin Luther King-y.

But there's another group that

needs your help.

They're called the San Diego

Sabers, Mahatma!

All that matters right now

is you get your head back in

the game, period.

the game, period. No, exclamation point!

No, exclamation point!

No, exclamation point! >> ♪

>> ♪

>> ♪ >> [remote tapping rapidly]

>> [remote tapping rapidly]

>> [remote tapping rapidly] [tapping continues]

[tapping continues]

[tapping continues] [tapping continues]

[tapping continues]

[tapping continues] [tapping continues]

[tapping continues]

>> So, are we gonna watch

>> So, are we gonna watch this game footage or what?

this game footage or what?

>> No.

'Cause you're not focused and

when a football player's not

focused, anything can happen.

You can wind up the subject of

a cartoon strip.

>> I just know kids hear you

when you talk to 'em in

street lingo, so that's all

I'm tryin' to do.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Don't you roll away from me

when I'm talkin' to you, man.

What are you--you're on my foot!

>> You're blocking me!

>> [sharp punch]

>> BLUE: Oh, my God!

Malik punched a dude in

a wheelchair?

Wait, I meant--

Of course, Malik punched a dude

in a wheelchair.

>> Oh, ho, ho, it doesn't stop

there, my friend.

>> Boy!

>> Look out!

Ah!

>> Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

>> Hey, no, man, no!

>> Yo, please do not compare me

to that dude.

>> Why?

'Cause you you two had your

Jay-Z, Solange, Beyoncé fight

in the elevator?

>> [elevator music playing]

>> [audio static]

>> Please, don't act like

the two of you weren't all

buddy-buddy once upon a time.

>> Let's go.

>> ♪ Hear that boy

♪ Hear that boy

♪ Hear that...hear that boy

♪ A hustler

♪ Hear that boy

>> Whatever, man, a'right?

I'm nothin' like him.

>> Yeah, we know, we know.

You went to Stanford, you read,

you don't party.

You sound like Malik.

With him, it's not a party.

It's...it's an experience--

so theatrical.

You know what?

I'd say he's better at throwing

parties than he is at footballs.

>> Green light!

>> ♪ A special girl

♪ A real good girl

♪ The biggest thing

♪ In my itty-bitty world

>> My time came to bark

with the big dawgs, baby.

>> BOTH: [barking]

>> Don't you...don't you

fly, boy!

>> Who you tellin'?

The Rob is killin' it.

>> Karma is a fat bitch.

Am I right, stripper?

>> Mm-hm.

>> All right, so that last one

wasn't a party.

I just wanted to point out

the guy really knows how to...

["Mafia" voice]

Entertain a guest, if you know

what I mean?

>> All right.

Well, you know what?

I'm sorry that I'm not a walking

stereotype like your third

string quarterback Malik.

>> No, you know what?

You're right. You're right.

But Malik wasn't always

a fighter and a partier.

I mean, he was also

a sensitive guy.

>> Unh-unh!

Girl, I know this is about

Derwin.

Forget him, Melanie.

Think about yourself.

You're not gonna feel good about

this in the mornin'.

>> Don't worry about my

feelings.

I'm a grown woman.

>> Girl, I'm telling you.

This is goin' down to Chinatown.

>> JASON: Granted--he did try to

sleep with her later.

You're actually...

you're more like Derwin--minus

the churchy thing.

I remember when I was churchy.

It lasted about a day

and a half.

Lord...

open mine eyes and I shall

behold wondrous things out

behold wondrous things out of thy law.

of thy law.

>> [whispering]

Amen.

>> Amen.

>> Amen.

>> JASON: [laughing]

Amen to that.

[laughing]

Oh...

what were we talking about?

Oh, yeah, how you're more like

Derwin than Malik.

>> No, look, I don't think I'm

anything like Derwin Davis,

either.

>> Why?

'Cause he kicked your ass at

the draft party?

Obviously, you couldn't hold on

to your position, my ninja.

>> [skulls thud]

>> JASON: No, no, no, no!

Bad!

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Come to think of it,

for a churchy guy,

Derwin could really fight.

>> [punch thuds]

>> What the...?

>> [punch thuds]

>> Oh!

>> [punch thuds]

>> Oh, but then again, there

were times where he really

didn't know how to fight.

>> DERWIN: Because I'm fighting

for love, girl.

>> Get outta here, Derwin.

>> Okay, you don't wanna

talk to me?

Fine.

Maybe you'll talk to

Dr. Grizzly.

>> I got it.

I know what you and Derwin

have in common--cheating.

You're both cheaters.

>> What?

No, I never cheated on Keira.

>> Oh, that's right.

You got cheated on.

>> [clothes ripping]

>> Oh...

>> [grunting]

>> Why wasn't I invited?

>> Why wasn't I invited? >> CHARDONNAY: [laughing]

>> CHARDONNAY: [laughing]

>> Well, I'ma tell you about

Derwin anyway because he

definitely cheated and it's

pretty damn funny.

>> Boy, that's so stupid!

You had me up in her face asking

her for an autograph--looking

like a damn fool!

Yet this whole time, you were

sleeping with her?

>> See, Mel, ain't nobody say

anything about sleeping with

nobody, baby.

>> Derwin, you look me in

the face right now and tell me

you didn't sleep with her.

>> No, I wouldn't do that

to you.

>> JASON: But, the kid got

sloppy.

Got caught with his hand in

the cookie jar.

>> Just...just calm down.

>> Don't tell me to calm down!

Church boy.

Ha.

All that falling in your knees.

Praying.

Ha.

You're a hypocrite!

>> And then his first girl,

Melinda, slept with Trey Wiggs.

>> I was tired of crying.

>> But to sleep with Trey?

Sweetie, you could have just

turned to alcohol.

>> Mmm.

Instead of getting drunk on this

champagne, she decided to get

drunk on the magic stick!

[laughing]

Look at me--I'm funny before

10:00, okay?

[laughing]

Don't give men all your power.

I did and do you see what

happened?

I'm bitter, angry, jaded.

>> Racist.

>> All I'm saying is don't

be like me.

>> [sobbing]

I don't wanna be like you.

>> And then ding-dong got

some chick pregnant...

>> Melanie, do not go there.

>> No, I'm curious to know

if you guys talked about it.

>> Would you get rid of

your baby?

>> No--because it would be

yours.

I don't want you to have

her baby!

Then there was a marching band.

>> One dinner--that's it.

>> Yeah!

>> It's no big deal.

>> To you.

>> [whistle shrills]

>> [marching band music]

>> Yes!

>> Then I believe there was

a chick named Eggs.

>> I was sayin'...

what are you doin' for the next

24 hours?

>> You tell me.

>> And, uh, that was the one

thing she could never forgive

and they never spoke again.

The end.

I think.

I don't know.

I wasn't there for most of it.

I don't really care.

Whatever.

The point is--

>> I'm nothing like Derwin.

>> I'm nothing like Derwin. >> You're nothing like Derwin.

>> You're nothing like Derwin.

>> ♪ And dip and dip

♪ And dip and dip and dip

♪ And Pitts and Pitts

♪ And Pitts

♪ And Pitts and Pitts

♪ Yes

♪ And dip and Pitts

♪ And dip and Pitts and dip

and then it reverses.

♪ And Pitts and dip

♪ Pitts dip Pitts

So--

>> What does this have to do

with anything?

>> Oh, forgive me for wanting to

show you the dance craze that

took the nation by storm.

[laughing]

>> Look, nothing you're saying

has anything to do with work

or is gettin' my head any

closer to being in the game.

As a matter of fact, my head is

further away from the game than

when I got here.

>> I swear, there is just no

getting through to you,

is there?

[laughing]

You don't get it.

Okay, this is gonna hurt me more

than it hurts you.

>> [phone ringing]

>> No.

>> Yep.

>> No.

>> We're doin' this.

>> No, Jason, no.

Do not call her.

>> [phone continues ringing]

>> Come on, man.

>> My mom prints flyers that

my friends and I made for

our lemonade stand.

Brianna, I just want you to

know how proud I am of you.

You have really shown us how

mature you are.

There's mom...

>> [phone vibrating]

>> Ugh! What?

>> And a good evening to you,

Broom Hilda.

>> TASHA: Oh!

>> I wanted to inform you that

your client, Bryce "Cesar

Chavez" Westbrook was dropped

off at my house this afternoon

by two police officers for

participating in a protest

rally.

>> TASHA: Oh, hell.

>> Yeah, his head is not

in the game.

It'd be nice if his manager took

an interest.

Maybe, uh, I don't know--found

him a Sunbeam to keep him

focused.

>> No, I don't need no damn

Sunbeam!

>> TASHA: No, you need to shut

up, okay?

Everybody needs a Sunbeam

from time to time.

>> Welcome, Sabers Sunbeams.

First order of business--

Cheers!

>> SUNBEAMS: Cheers!

>> Okay, you have flowers and

balloons.

Callie, you've got over-sized

card duty.

Tasha, cupcakes.

>> The hell.

You're gonna get these mints

outta my purse 'cause I got

things to do.

When I first met you, you

didn't have a Sunbeam and

we know how that turned out.

>> Oh, my God!

>> Oh, hey, what the hell?

>> Oh, little boy blue,

come blow your horn!

>> That was not a not havin'

a Sunbeam problem.

That was a not knowin' how to

knock problem.

>> I agree with that.

>> Thank you.

>> TASHA: Yeah, well, whatever

the case, Sunbeam or not,

okay, everybody needs somebody

in they life.

>> I'll be here.

I am not leaving you, Tasha.

You know you mean more to me

that those stupid Sunbeams.

>> For real?

>> Mm-hm, for real.

>> BOTH: [sobbing]

>> Now you know you ain't never

made good decisions when it

comes to men, especially when

it comes to your son.

You know, it's okay to choose

yourself this time, Miss Mack.

>> I came here to warn you,

but you deserve whatever your

girl gives you.

>> Wait a minute.

So, what are you saying?

She has herpes?

>> No, Jethro.

She's trying to trap you

with a turkey baster.

>> [gunshot fires]

>> BOTH: [laughing]

>> Shot in the ass.

>> Oh, never use the doggy door.

>> [laughing]

I like you.

Even Malik had that one

relationship.

>> ♪ I'ma rock your body

♪ Turn around

[unintelligible lyrics]

♪ I'll put you to bed

♪ Bed bed bed

♪ So I'll put you to bed

>> I'm gonna put you to

bed, Malik.

>> JASON: [laughing]

Oh, Clay was gay.

I wonder whatever happened

to that guy?

I wonder if he's still gay?

>> Whatever.

There was never a time when

having Keira in your corner

wasn't helpful.

>> No.

>> TASHA: You're lying.

>> BLUE: What?

>> I have your pillow.

>> Edgar? I mean...

You brought my pillow.

>> JASON: Oh, yeah, yeah.

That was during training camp--

around the time we hazed you for

being a rookie.

>> ♪ My name is Blue

♪ Balls I keep a-droppin'

♪ I don't know what to do

♪ Balls they keep a-floppin'

♪ Up and down the field

>> That's not far off from what

we did to my other favorite

rookie.

[laughing]

>> Okay, you know what?

Two things.

One, I'm good with all

the Derwin stories.

And, two, I'm glad to hear

that all the relationships you

guys keep tellin' me about

ended so well, 'cause you're not

still sucking on Rick Fox's

toes, are you?

Or was that what you were doing

when we called, maybe, huh, huh?

>> Boy, who and what I suck

ain't none of your damn

business, okay?

Hell, ain't nobody sayin'

we wrote the book on love.

Everybody know every

relationship is not perfect.

It ain't, is it, baby?

>> My husband is bored with me

and my stripper pole is starting

to rust.

Do you know how painful it

is to slide down a rusty

stripper pole?

>> I love you.

>> [spits]

>> You're married to her, yet

she has your baby, but she's

dating him.

[laughing]

I just love stereotypes.

>> I'm still in love with Kelly.

>> GUESTS: [gasping]

>> [sharp smack]

>> Hey, don't give me that look.

I just couldn't get enough

of that Kelly.

[laughing]

>> [fake French accent]

Oh, Skippy?

Hold on, monsieur.

I did not realize that you

were still in here.

>> [fake British accent]

Oh, it's okay, darling.

Come on in.

[muffled speech]

>> [frustrated groan]

>> TASHA: I don't know what them

two see in your yellow ass.

>> JASON: Beep!

>> Hello? Hello?

>> I don't even know why

I called her.

>> Damn, you just hung up

on Miss Mack?

>> Oh!

What, am I supposed to be

scared of her?

>> I--

>> I'm not. Melinda wasn't.

>> 'Cause you are a bully.

Bitch!

>> [sharp smack]

>> MEL: [gasps]

>> [sharp smack]

>> TASHA: [gasps]

>> JASON: [laughs]

Kelly's not.

>> [heavy punch]

>> TASHA: [groans]

>> KELLY: Oh, my God!

Ta-da, bitch!

>> BLUE: Oh!

>> What I'm trying to say

is this...

is this... I'm hungry. Let's eat.

I'm hungry. Let's eat.

Come on, I'll make ya

a sandwich.

>> Cool.

>> Cool. [sighing]

[sighing]

>> Five, six, seven, eight!

♪ Humidity's risin'

♪ Barometer's gettin' low

♪ According to our sources

♪ The street's the place to go

♪ 'Cause tonight

♪ For the first time

♪ Just about half past ten

♪ For the first time

♪ In history

♪ It's gonna start raining men

>> The old Melanie wouldn't

dance to emphasize her point.

Now look at me.

I'm dancin' and emphasizin'

and dancin' and emphasizin'.

>> ♪ Your haircut is boring

♪ Your haircut is boring

>> ♪ There's a lotta crooks

♪ Try to steal your heart

♪ They never had luck

♪ Could never figure out

♪ How to love

>> Oh!

[unintelligible]

>> Better than Rick and Pookie?

>> Oh, ten times better.

Ten times better.

Ten times better. Powder! Oh!

Powder! Oh!

>> I hate you.

>> Oh, I hate more.

>> I hate you more.

>> I hate you, Powder!

Oh, I hate you, Powder!

[screaming]

>> Blue: Oh, stop!

What the hell?

You slept with Miss Mack?

>> Hell, no.

Seein' if you were still payin'

attention.

>> To what?

A buncha random-ass thoughts?

>> Oh, forgive me for gettin'

lost goin' down memory lane

and for havin' the voice of

an angel.

>> Well, I think I'm going to,

uh, head out--considering

tonight has been a total waste

of time.

>> I swear, I don't know what

the hell I'm gonna do with you.

Have you considered therapy?

Seriously.

I can give you a great referral.

>> Why do you think she has such

a hard time with relationships?

>> I don't know, dawg.

>> Malik, answer the question.

>> Do you want the truth?

>> Yeah, boy.

Would you stop playin'.

>> She's mean.

She belittles the men in her

life, puts their heart in

a vice.

>> You know, I'ma kill you!

>> You see?

>> Tasha and Malik went to

therapy?

>> BOTH: It didn't take.

[laughing]

>> Hey, that was cute.

Listen, I've seen a lot of great

ones come and go.

You have what it takes to be

better than all of them--

except me.

No one will ever be better

than me.

I brought the city

a championship.

I'm a nine-time all-star future

Hall-of-Famer who brought

the city a championship.

I'm Jason Pitts, future

Hall-of-Famer, brought the city

a championship.

>> "Former football player

"who brought the city

a championship."

>> JASON: One thing we do know

for certain is that I brought

the city a championship.

Boom!

I just...

I don't want you to lose focus,

wash out, and miss everything

this life has to offer.

>> ♪ I can beat the night

♪ I'm not afraid of thunder

♪ I am full of light

♪ I am full of wonder

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh

♪ I keep falling under

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh

♪ I am full of wonder

♪ Though our feet might ache

♪ The world's

♪ Upon our shoulders

♪ No way we gon' break

♪ 'Cause we are full of wonder

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh

♪ We keep falling under

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh

♪ We are full of wonder

♪ This life is contagious

♪ Go, go tell your neighbors

♪ Just reach out

♪ Pass it on

♪ Ooh yeah yeah

♪ Life is contagious

♪ Go, go tell your neighbors

♪ Just reach out

♪ Pass it on

♪ Yeah yeah

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh

♪ We keep falling under

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh

♪ We are full of wonder

♪ When everything feels wrong

♪ And darkness

♪ Falls upon ya

♪ This song is for you

♪ And you are full of wonder

>> It's all about being a team!

Now gimme some love!

>> ALL: [cheering]

>> Oh...

>> A'right, I get it.

A'right, I do.

Thanks, man.

You know, uh, no matter what

the issues I've had since I've

been here, there's no place

I'd rather be.

Let's watch some game film.

>> Mmmm...nah.

I'm kinda tired.

Yeah, a little sleepy.

I'm gonna hit the hay.

You get these dishes.

>> No.

>> Thanks, buddy.

>> What...?

J...? J...J...

>> ♪ Every Sunday

♪ Hit the field

♪ Run run run

♪ It's touchdown time

♪ You know the feel

♪ Fun fun...

♪ Fun

[imitates trumpet]

Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom!

Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Bruuuum!

Bruuuum!

Bruuuum! >> ♪

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