Original subtitles

>> [singing in Spanish]

♪

>> YO, RODRIGUEZ.

MAKE SURE YOU DON'T LEAVE NO

ORANGE FIBERS ON MY RIDE, DOG.

>> YO, MALIK.

HEY--HEY, YOU HOLLER AT KIERA

LATELY?

LIKE, IS SHE STILL MAD AT ME?

>> ARE YOU REALLY SWEATIN' OVER

ONE PIECE OF PIECE OF

SEMI-CELEBRITY ASS?

>> [scoffs]

NO, MAN.

>> HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?

ALL THIS THAT I'M SEEING ABOUT

YOU, DOG, IT'S REALLY STARTING

TO AFFECT MY ABILITY TO THROW TO

YOU.

>> OH, OOH, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING

ABOUT THROW THE BALL TO ME?

>> I DON'T KNOW, MAN.

I DON'T KNOW.

THE BALL MIGHT BE COMING YOUR

WAY, AND YOU MIGHT BE ADJUSTING

YOUR PANTY LINER OR WIPING A

SINGLE TEAR FROM YOUR EYE OR

SOME OTHER STEREOTYPICAL

BROADLIKE THINK YOU CAN DO WITH

YOUR DAMN HANDS.

>> WHOA, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

YOU GOT THE KID TWISTED, OKAY?

>> OR SAYING, "NO, NO, NO," AND

WAVING YOUR DAMN FINGERS AT ME.

DOG, YOU WERE WITH CIARA ON

DRAFT NIGHT, FOR GOD SAKES, MAN.

OKAY?

BE THAT GUY.

LIKE, THAT GUY IS COOL, MAN.

LIKE, THAT GUY, THAT'S MY GUY.

>> LOOK, I JUST WANTED TO MAKE

SURE THE GIRL WAS STRAIGHT.

THAT'S IT.

>> HUH.

OKAY, SO YOU'RE GOOD.

>> [scoffs] I'M GOOD.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

I'M GOOD SHIP LOLLIPOP.

I'M GOOD AND PLENTY.

GOODIE-GOODIE-GO--

>> OKAY, I GOT IT.

MY MAN.

YO, KIERA.

>> HEY.

>> WHAT UP?

>> HEY, HEY, ASK HER IF SHE'S

MAD AT ME.

IS SHE MAD AT ME?

>> I KNEW IT.

>> WHAT?

>> DOG, YOU GOT IT BADDER THAN I

THOUGHT, MAN.

DAMN IT.

WHAT WE GONNA DO ABOUT THAT?

OKAY, WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY

SAY.

THE BEST WAY TO GET OVER ONE

WOMAN IS TO GET UNDER ANOTHER

ONE..OR ON TOP OF HER...

OR BEHIND HER, OR WHATEVER YOUR

PREFERENCE IS.

WE'RE THROWING YOU A POONTANG

PARADE.

>> WAIT. A WHAT?

>> YO, RODRIGUEZ.

YOU WANT YOUR OWN FLOAT IN A

POONTANG PARADE?

>> SI, SEÑOR MALIK.

CLARO QUE SI.

>> SEE, HE DON'T EVEN SPEAK

ENGLISH, AND HE GOT IT.

>> YO, LOOK, I DON'T NEED TO HIT

EVERYTHING MOVING, ALL RIGHT,

JUST TO PROVE THAT I'M OVER ONE

GIRL.

>> WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST

SAY TO ME?

MAN, GET YOUR FEMININE ASS OUT

MY FACE.

GO ON BEFORE YOUR DAMN PERIOD

START.

GO.

YO, RODRIGUEZ.

NO...

[imitates spraying]

INSIDE-O.

NO...

[imitates spraying]

ON EL SEAT-O.

UH...SLIDE-ITO.

NO...EL NO.

[aggressive rock music]

♪

>> OH.

[shivering]

OH.

>> WHAT YOU DOING?

>> I'M PANNING FOR BLOOD

DIAMONDS.

WHAT'S IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING?

I'M LATHERED IN PAIN BALM, AND

I'M TAKING AN ICE BATH.

>> WELL, WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT

HERE INSTEAD OF AT THE STADIUM

FACILITY?

>> BECAUSE I DON'T WANT THE TEAM

TO SEE ME AS WEAK.

I'M ALREADY THE OLD GUY.

I CAN'T BE THE OLD, INJURED,

ON-HIS-LAST-LEG GUY.

>> BABY, THIS IS NOT A GOOD

LOOK.

>> JUST HELP ME OUT OF THE TUB.

MY NETHER PARTS ARE NUMB,

AND I CANNOT FEEL THEM.

>> NO, I'M SERIOUS.

LIKE, HOW MUCH LONGER CAN YOU

KEEP THIS UP?

LOOK, I KNOW YOU TRYING TO GET

PAST YOUR LITTLE STEROID STUFF,

BUT ASTERISK OR NOT,

YOUR BODY CAN'T TAKE TOO MUCH

MORE.

HEY, FIRST THE CONCUSSION,

THEN YOUR ANKLES, AND NOW IT'S

THIS.

>> LOOK, IT'S ME.

THE SEASON IS ALMOST THROUGH.

I'M GONNA GET THIS CHAMPIONSHIP,

AND THEN IT'S OVER.

I PROMISE, OKAY?

AND TRUTH BE TOLD, AT THIS POINT

IN THE SEASON, EVEN AS A ROOKIE,

I'M USED TO BEING THIS BEAT UP.

SOMETIMES WORSE THAN THIS.

>> BABY, ARE YOU--

>> CHAR, CHILL.

SERIOUSLY, THIS IS MY LAST

CHANCE TO REDEEM MYSELF.

I'M NOT STOPPING, EVEN IF IT

MEANS I'VE GOT TO PLAY NUMB.

SPEAKING OF NUMB, I WAS NOT

JOKING ABOUT MY NETHER PARTS.

I'M GONNA NEED SOME HELP THAWING

THEM OUT.

YOU GOT ANY IDEAS?

>> NOPE.

[knocking]

>> WHAT'S UP?

>> NOTHING.

I JUST CAME TO SHOUT YOU OUT,

YOU KNOW, MAKE SURE YOU WAS

COOL.

YOU THINK I COULD COME IN FOR A

SECOND?

>> NOW IS NOT A GOOD TIME.

MATTER OF FACT, THERE MAY NEVER

BE ANOTHER GOOD TIME.

LOOK, KIERA, I KNOW YOU'RE

UPSET, ALL RIGHT?

AND THAT'S WHY I WANTED TO COME

IN AND TALK TO YOU.

I JUST--I WANT TO APOLOGIZE FOR

THE WAY THINGS WENT DOWN WITH

CIARA AT THE PHOTO SHOOT.

I WAS OUT OF POCKET.

>> YEAH, DAMN RIGHT YOU WERE OUT

OF POCKET.

>> WHAT'S UP, BOO?

YOU GOOD?

>> [laughs]

WHO ME?

YEAH, I'M GOOD.

I'M SO GOOD.

I'M FINE, MAN, YOU?

>> OH, YEAH.

YEAH, I'M--I'M GREAT, BRO.

SO WHAT HAPPENED?

YOU LOSE A KEY AGAIN?

>> [laughs]

>> YOU KNOW, YOU MIGHT WANT TO

GET A SPARE MADE.

>> I MEAN, IT'S GOT TO BE EASIER

THAN ALWAYS HAVING TO WASTE THAT

TIME COMING DOWN HERE, RIGHT?

BUT HEY, WHAT DO I KNOW?

KIERA, WHERE DO YOU KEEP YOUR

LOTION?

>> IT'S, UM...UM, UNDERNEATH MY

SINK.

>> COOL.

>> ARE YOU SMASHING DUDE?

REALLY?

>> IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS

WHO I'M SMASHING.

>> WOW.

WOW.

25 YEARS WITHOUT LETTING ANYBODY

HIT.

I MEAN, DAMN, I DIDN'T EVEN GET

A CHANCE TO TAKE PRIDE AND

OWNERSHIP IN THE WHIP.

I DRIVE IT ONE TIME, AND YOU

JUST TURN INTO A TAXICAB.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT, BLUE?

YOU DON'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT ME

OR MY TAXICAB ASS ANYMORE,

BECAUSE WE ARE DONE WITH YOUR

CORNY ASS.

>> FINE.

[touch-tones beeping]

YO, MALIK.

>> MY MAN.

>> LET'S GET THIS POONTANG

PARADE POPPIN'.

>> HELL, YEAH.

>> GIRL, I DON'T KNOW HOW THE

HELL I'M SUPPOSED TO DELIVER ALL

OF THESE BASKETS FOR THE SAVERS

VETERAN WEEK BY MONDAY.

>> COME ON, GIRL.

YOU KNOW I GOT YOUR BACK.

>> THANK YOU, CHARDONNAY.

YOU KNOW WHAT I SHOULD HAVE

DONE?

GIRL, I SHOULD HAVE JUST

VOLUNTEERED TO SELL CANDY AND

JUST BUY THEM ALL UP LIKE I

ALWAYS DO, OKAY?

BUT I'M TRYING TO BE CHEAP AND

HEALTHY, OKAY?

BUT YOU GONNA LEARN, TASH.

YOUR ASS GONNA LEARN.

[knock at door]

WOULD YOU GET THAT?

>> I GOT IT.

OOH, YUCK.

>> HEY.

>> WELL, LOOK WHO DECIDED TO

SHOW UP.

YOU KNOW, THE BASKET COMMITTEE

LEFT ABOUT 20 MINUTES AGO.

>> YEAH, I CAME TO TELL YOU GUYS

THAT I WAS QUITTIN' THE SUNBEAMS

AND TO TURN IN MY STUFF.

>> AGAIN?

YOU KNOW WHAT?

IF I HAD A NICKEL FOR EVERY TIME

YOU QUIT THE SUNBEAMS, I'D

HAVE...HELL, I'D HAVE A $1.25.

YOU KNOW, AND MATTER OF FACT,

GIVE ME $1.25.

I'M GONNA START A SLUSH FUND.

SLUSH.

>> YEAH, WELL, I'M DONE

FOR REAL THIS TIME.

>> WELL, GOOD FOR YOU, GIRL.

GET AWAY WHILE YOU STILL CAN,

HONEY, BECAUSE IT IS HARD BEING

WITH A FOOTBALL PLAYER.

IF I KNEW THE PAIN AND SUFFERING

I HAD TO GO THROUGH WITH JASON,

I WOULD HAVE AVOIDED HIS ASS THE

WAY TASHA AVOIDS RAZORS, OKAY?

>> EXCUSE YOU, OKAY?

I GET RAZOR BUMPS.

I HAVE--YOU KNOW, IT'S A DAMN

CONDITION, ALL RIGHT?

NOW, DON'T YOU LISTEN TO THIS

BITTER BARTENDER/BRIDE OF

CRANKENSTEIN.

GIRL, I'MA TELL YOU, BABY.

YOU CANNOT RUN FROM LOVE.

I HAVE TRIED.

GIRL, I'M TELLING YOU, LOVE WILL

TRACK YOU DOWN, AND IT WILL

CHASE YOU, AND IT WILL BEAT YOUR

ASS FOR TRYING TO GET AWAY.

OKAY, I'MA TELL YOU HONEY.

IT WILL BEAT YOU LIKE YOUR

GRANDMAMA WITH A SWITCH.

HERE YOU GO, BABY.

>> UM, WELL, MAYBE, BUT, UM...

I HAVE A NEW MAN, AND I DON'T

LOVE BLUE.

>> OH, REALLY?

NOW, YOU KNOW THAT'S SOME DAMN

BULL, OKAY?

EVERYBODY CAN TELL BY THE WAY

THAT YOU LOOK AT THAT MAN THAT

YOU LOVE HIM,

AND HE YOUR FIRST.

OOH, THAT'S THAT SANDWICH-MAKING

KIND OF LOVE.

>> HIS PUNK-ASS TOLD YOU ABOUT

THAT?

>> HE AIN'T GOT TO TELL ME ABOUT

IT, GIRL.

I KNOW THAT SANDWICH-MAKING

LOVE, HONEY.

THAT'S WHEN YOU GET THAT

GOOD-GOOD.

>> [laughs]

GIRL, LOOK, I HATE TO ADMIT IT,

BECAUSE I'M MAD AT HIM RIGHT

NOW, BUT JASON HAS PUMPED MANY A

A TUNA RYE OUT OF ME, OKAY?

>> GIRL, MY FIRST LOVE WAS LEROY

JENKINS.

YES.

AND HIS SANDWICH, IT WAS BOLOGNA

ON WHITE BREAD.

OH, MY GOD.

IT WAS SO GOOD, YOU KNOW,

AND IT WAS SO GOOD, BECAUSE IT

WAS FILLED MOSTLY OF THOUGHTS

ABOUT US.

>> OURS WAS A PB AND J,

AND HE LOVED IT.

>> I BET HE DID.

>> YEAH, BUT, YOU KNOW, WHO

CARES?

'CAUSE I DON'T.

SO WHEN YOU SEE BLUE,

LET HIM KNOW THAT HE'LL BE

NEEDING A NEW SUNBEAM, 'CAUSE

I'M DONE.

HELL, TELL HIM TO ASK CIARA'S

OLD DANCING ASS.

>> both: OOH.

>> HEY.

ALAN, RIGHT?

>> OH, YEAH, I'M ALAN.

I'M--I'M ALAN JOHNSON.

I LIVE AT 1438 WOOTEN LANE.

MY FAVORITE MEAL IS BAKED

CHICKEN, AND I DON'T HAVE ANY

ALLERGIES.

>> OH, OKAY.

WELL, I'M CHARDONNAY PITTS FROM

THE SUNBEAMS.

I LIVE AT 1515 TERRACE VIEW

DRIVE.

QUESADILLAS AND RANCH DRESSING

ARE TIED FOR MY FAVORITE FOODS.

AND I'M ALLERGIC TO MISTLETOE,

CHESTNUTS, AND MARIAH CAREY'S

CHRISTMAS CD.

[laughs]

DO YOU MIND IF I COME IN?

>> UH--OH, NO, NO.

COME ON.

COME ON IN.

SORRY.

>> HERE YOU GO.

>> IMPORTED PETROLEUM AND

NON-PETROLEUM PRODUCTS FELL.

THE GOVERNMENT SAID...

>> MM.

HMM.

>> OH, THAT'S RIGHT.

YOU'RE HERE TO DROP OFF

SOMETHING FOR SAVER APPRECIATION

WEEK.

>> [laughs]

>> DO YOU HAVE IT?

>> I JUST GAVE IT TO YOU.

>> OH, RIGHT.

THANK YOU. IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

SORRY.

>> UM, SO, ALAN, I HOPE I DIDN'T

CATCH YOU AT A BAD TIME.

ARE YOU PREPARING FOR SOME KIND

OF TEST OR...A MURDER?

>> WELL, I HAVE A NEUROLOGICAL

CONDITION.

I CAN'T REMEMBER STUFF FOR SO

LONG, SO I HAVE TO WRITE IT

DOWN.

SEEMS THE ONLY THING THAT STICKS

IN MY MEMORY IS I NEED TO GET

A LIQUID HAND SOAP DISPENSER.

>> OH, MY GOD.

THAT'S...THAT'S AWFUL.

>> NO, THEY'RE ONLY, LIKE, 3

BUCKS, SO...

>> WELL, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

I MEAN--

>> WELL, I'M NOT REALLY SURE.

THE LEAGUE WON'T LET THE DOCTORS

SAY EXACTLY WHAT THEY THINK IT

IS, BUT OFF THE RECORD, THEY

TELL ME IT'S PROBABLY WHAT ALL

OTHER FOOTBALL PLAYERS GET IT

FROM.

>> SYPHILIS?

>> [laughs]

NO, NO.

IT'S FROM TAKING TOO MANY HITS

FROM THE FASTEST, BIGGEST,

STRONGEST GUYS IN THE WORLD WEEK

AFTER WEEK.

>> DAMN.

YOU PROBABLY WOULD HAVE BEEN

BETTER OFF WITH SYPHILIS.

>> ♪ I LIKE MY KISSES DOWN LOW

♪ MAKES ME ARCH MY BACK

♪ WHEN YOU GIVE IT TO ME SLOW

♪ BABY, JUST LIKE THAT

>> ♪ SHE LIKE HER KISSES

♪ DOWN LOW

♪ MAKE HER ARCH HER BACK

♪ WHEN YOU GIVE IT TO HER SLOW

♪ BABY, JUST LIKE THAT

>> ♪ I LIKE MY KISSES DOWN LOW

♪ MAKES ME ARCH MY BACK

♪ WHEN YOU GIVE IT TO ME SLOW

♪ BABY, JUST LIKE THAT

>> WHAT'S WRONG?

>> I CAN'T DO THIS.

>> IS THIS ABOUT THAT GERBIL

RUMOR?

'CAUSE THAT WAS SO OVERLY

EXAGGERATED.

>> UM, EVEN IF THAT WAS

UNDEREXAGGERATED, YOU KNOW WHAT?

IT DOESN'T MATTER.

IT'S...

I'M SUDDENLY STARVING.

>> NOW?

LIKE--LIKE, RIGHT NOW?

>> YES, LIKE, RIGHT NOW.

I'M DYING FOR A SANDWICH.

>> RIGHT, RIGHT NOW?

OKAY, FINE.

I'LL MAKE YOU ONE.

I'M FAMOUS FOR MY GRILLED

CHEESES.

>> NO, NO, NO.

I HAVE A VERY SPECIAL SANDWICH

IN MIND, AND YOU CAN'T MAKE IT

OR BUY IT.

>> YOU SURE?

THERE'S A JEWISH-ITALIAN DELI

DOWN THE STREET.

I KNOW AT FIRST IT MAY NOT SOUND

LIKE A NATURAL PAIRING, BUT

I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU, THOSE TWO

CULTURES, THEY REALLY SEEM TO

HAVE A HANDLE ON SANDWICHES.

>> UM...

I'M SORRY, LUKE, BUT YOU SHOULD

GO.

>> WHAT, DID I DO SOMETHING

WRONG?

>> NO, IT'S NOT YOU.

IT'S ME.

>> WE CAN DO SUBWAY.

IT'S...

>> GOOD-BYE, LUKE.

>> ♪ SPEED IT UP, HEAT IT UP

♪ LET IT GO, LET IT GO

♪ LET IT GO

♪ 'TIL I GET, GET ENOUGH

♪ YOU NEVER KNOW, NEVER KNOW

>> WOW.

ANOTHER DEAD NIGHT AT THE DROP

BAR.

YO, MALIK, THIS POONTANG PARADE

IS CRAZY.

I THINK I MIGHT HAVE TO LEAVE

BEFORE SOMEBODY CALLS THE COPS.

>> HA.

YOU KNOW WHAT, YOUNG BUCK?

I LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE DOUBT ME.

>> MM.

>> MM.

>> LET IT GO.

♪ YEAH

♪ DON'T MAKE MY GOONS

♪ GO STUPID, GO STUPID

♪ GO STUPID

♪ YEAH

♪ 'CAUSE MY HOMIES STILL

>> ♪ PUMP THAT BASS

♪ PUMP THAT BASS

♪ PUMP THAT BASS

>> ♪ YEAH, MY HOMIES STILL

>> ♪ PUMP THAT BASS

♪ PUMP THAT BASS

>> ♪ HA-HA

♪ MY HOMES STILL

>> ♪ PUMP THAT BASS

♪ PUMP THAT BASS

>> ♪ YEAH, MY HOMIES STILL

>> ♪ PUMP THAT BASS

♪ PUMP THAT BASS

>> ♪ DON'T MAKE MY GOONS

♪ GO STUPID, GO STUPID

♪ GO STUPID

♪ YEAH

♪ DON'T MAKE MY GOONS

♪ GO STUPID, GO STUPID

♪ GO STUPID

♪ YEAH

>> ♪ BOY

>> ♪ OKAY

♪ MY GIRLS AND CARS

♪ BOTH SKIRT OFF

♪ I LIKE A [...] SO WET

♪ THAT I CAN SURF OFF

♪ IN A HOT SPOT 'CAUSE A [...]

♪ NEVER CHILLIN'

♪ I DO IT FOR MY [...]

♪ I JUST DO IT TO THESE [...]

♪ BOY, I OVERGRIND

♪ OVERSHINE

♪ AIN'T ANOTHER [...]

♪ OVER SEAN

♪ I'M GETTING PAID

♪ IT'S OVERTIME

♪ I'M ROLLIN' PINE

♪ I'M SO DIVINE

♪ I'M WEST SIDE, WEST SIDE

♪ DARK GLASSES ON LIKE

♪ I'M GOIN' BLIND

♪ LOOKING LIKE EAZY-E

♪ IT'S JUST ME

♪ AND LIL' WEEZY WEE

♪ GET OFF MY [...]

>> ♪ PUMP THAT BASS

♪ PUMP THAT BASS

>> ♪ YEAH, MY HOMIES STILL

>> ♪ PUMP THAT BASS

♪ PUMP THAT BASS

>> ♪ HA-HA

♪ MY HOMIES STILL

>> ♪ PUMP THAT BASS

♪ PUMP THAT BASS

>> ♪ YEAH, MY HOMIES STILL

>> ♪ PUMP THAT BASS

♪ PUMP THAT BASS

>> OH, GOD ♪

>> ♪ DON'T MAKE MY GOONS

♪ GO STUPID, GO STUPID

♪ GO STUPID

♪ YEAH

♪ DON'T MAKE MY GOONS

♪ GO STUPID, GO STUPID

♪ GO STUPID

♪ YEAH

>> ♪ WHOA, OH, GOD

♪ >> I'M EAST SIDE

♪ AT THEM HATERS

♪ 90 GOING WEST

♪ MY [...] PUMPIN'

♪ SO MUCH BASS

♪ MOTHER[...] GOING DEAF

♪ WEEZY F., I'M EAST SIDE

♪ THEM HATERS 90 GOING WEST

♪ MY [...] PUMPIN'

♪ SO MUCH BASS

>> ♪ PUMP THAT BASS

>> ♪ PUMP THAT BASS

>> ♪ BOY, THIS HERE IS WHAT

♪ I DO DO

♪ GOT YOUR SISTER DANCING

♪ NOT THE KIND THAT'S IN

♪ A TUTU

♪ GOT ME IN CONTROL

♪ NO STRINGS ATTACHED

♪ THAT'S THAT VOODOO

♪ SHE SAY CAN'T NOBODY DO IT

♪ BETTER

♪ I TELL HER TRUE, TRUE

♪ YEAH, TRUE, TRUE

♪ MY, MY, MY BRO-BRO SAY

♪ THESE [...] AIN'T [...]

♪ I GOT THE GIRL

♪ YOU CAME WITH

♪ AND THE GIRL SHE CAME WITH

♪ BOY I GET IT

♪ MY HOMIES STILL

>> ♪ PUMP THAT BASS

♪ PUMP THAT BASS

>> ♪ YEAH, MY HOMIES STILL

>> ♪ PUMP THAT BASS

♪ PUMP THAT BASS

>> OH, GOOD MORNING, WISEY-POO.

>> [laughs]

>> YOU GOT HOME LATE YESTERDAY.

WAS IT A BUSY NIGHT AT THE

WEAVERY?

>> ACTUALLY, NO.

I HAD TO HELP TASHA DELIVER SOME

BASKETS FOR SAVERS VETERANS

WEEK.

>> OH, MY GOD.

THEY'RE LETTING TASHA PUT

TOGETHER THE GIFT BASKETS?

LET ME CHECK THE FINANCIAL

SECTION.

AND I'M SURE THE HOT CHEETOS

STOCK WENT THROUGH THE ROOF.

>> JASON, I DROPPED ONE OFF TO

THIS GUY, REALLY NICE GUY,

ALAN JOHNSON.

DO YOU REMEMBER HIM?

>> ALAN JOHNSON.

BIG WHITE DUDE?

OH, YEAH.

I REMEMBER ALAN JOHNSON.

>> WELL, HE DOESN'T REMEMBER

YOU.

>> WHO CARES IF HE DOESN'T

REMEMBER ME?

WHO REMEMBERS ALAN JOHNSON?

SERIOUSLY, THOUGH, HE SAID HE

DIDN'T REMEMBER ME?

>> YEP, HE DID, 'CAUSE HE

DOESN'T REMEMBER ANYTHING.

HE GOT HIT TOO MANY TIMES,

AND NOW HIS MEMORY IS SHOT.

>> OH, MY GOD.

HERE WE GO WITH THIS AGAIN.

>> I'M SERIOUS.

THIS MAN HAS TO USE A LEGAL PAD

JUST TO REMEMBER TO TELL HIMSELF

TO TAKE A SHOWER.

>> [laughs]

>> THAT'S NOT FUNNY.

>> THAT'S A LITTLE FUNNY.

>> LOOK, AFTER SEEING WHAT

FOOTBALL HAS DONE TO HIM, I

CANNOT WATCH THAT HAPPEN TO YOU.

>> CHAR, HOW MANY TIME--

YOU'RE BEING RIDICULOUS.

>> I'M NOT.

>> THE DUDE IS OLD.

HE PROBABLY PLAYED WITH A

LEATHER HELMET.

MATTER OF FACT, MY DAD

INTRODUCED ME TO THAT GUY BACK

IN THE DAY.

HIS NICKNAME: LEGAL PAD.

>> REALLY?

>> I GET IT NOW. IT MAKES SENSE.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU'RE NOT GONNA JOKE YOUR WAY

OUT OF THIS ONE, JASON.

AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT.

KELLY, SHE MIGHT HAVE SAT AROUND

AND BIT HER TONGUE WHILE YOU GOT

KNOCKED UNCONSCIOUS AND INJECTED

YOURSELF WITH POISON,

BUT CHARDONNAY CAN'T DO THAT.

>> WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

>> THAT MEANS THAT IF YOU

CONTINUE TO PLAY FOOTBALL,

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO DO IT

WITHOUT ME.

>> YOU DO NOT WANT ME TO CHOOSE

BETWEEN YOU AND FOOTBALL.

TRUST ME.

>> [scoffs]

>> YO, WHAT THE--WHAT THE HELL,

MAN?

>> JUST LISTEN.

>> YOU'RE AN ASS[...].

THAT'S JUST THE DEAL.

BUT ONE THING I CAN'T DENY IS

THAT NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS WITH

US, I CAN'T GET YOU OUT OF MY

MIND, AND TRUST ME, I TRY.

>> OH, YEAH?

LIKE WITH YOUR BOY LUKE.

>> YEAH, I DID WANT HIM TO HELP

ME GET OVER YOU, BUT IT DIDN'T

WORK.

HE JUST WASN'T WORTHY OF MY PB

AND J.

>> OKAY, I GET WHAT THE "P" AND

"B" ARE, BUT WHAT DOES THE "J."

STAND FOR?

>> IT DOESN'T MATTER.

>> REALLY?

BECAUSE HE WAS IN YOUR HOUSE

FIRST THING IN THE MORNING IN A

TOWEL.

>> HE HAD A LONG SHOOT.

HE DROVE ME HOME, SLEPT ON THE

COUCH, TOOK A SHOWER.

THAT'S IT.

>> RIGHT.

>> [sighs]

LOOK, IF YOU DON'T FEEL THE SAME

WAY I DO, IT'S COOL.

I'M NOT GONNA BE SOME STAGE FIVE

CLINGER.

I JUST WANTED TO COME UP HERE

AND BE HONEST WITH YOU WITH HOW

I FELT FOR ONCE, AND WHATEVER

YOU DECIDE, THAT'S ON YOU.

>> BUT WHAT IF I DO FEEL THE

SAME WAY?

>> THEN YOU CAN GET THE PINK

SLIP BACK TO MY WHIP, AND NO ONE

WILL EVER DRIVE IT AGAIN.

>> YEAH?

NO MORE TAXICABBING IT?

>> SHUT UP.

[laughs]

UH.

I'M SORRY.

AM I INTERRUPTING SOMETHING?

>> NO, THAT--UM...IT'S NOT WHAT

IT LOOKS LIKE.

SEE, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU WERE

GONNA BE...

>> WHOA.

>> UM, WE'RE STARVING.

DID YOU WANT A SANDWICH?

>> NO. WILL YOU GO?

>> WOW. OKAY.

>> OH, HEY, HEY.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

NO, KIERA, YOU ARE NOT LEAVING,

ALL RIGHT?

'CAUSE IF YOU LEAVE, WE'RE GONNA

DO THE SAME STUPID

BACK-AND-FORTH WE ALWAYS DO.

LOOK, I DO FEEL THE SAME WAY YOU

DO, AND I WANT YOUR WHIP

TO BE MY WHIP.

>> REALLY?

BECAUSE THERE'S A WHOLE LOT OF

CARS IN THERE.

>> OKAY, THAT...THAT WAS A

MISTAKE.

BUT FROM NOW ON, I'M NOT BACKING

DOWN FROM ANYTHING I WANT, AND I

WANT YOU THE MOST...

AND A CHAMPIONSHIP...

AND THE KEYS TO THE CITY.

>> OKAY, I GET IT.

AND YOU'RE RIGHT.

NO MORE RUNNING AWAY.

AS FAR AS ALL OF THAT GOES,

TAKE THE DAY, GET IT OUT OF YOUR

SYSTEM, BECAUSE TOMORROW YOU

BELONG TO ME.

AND WHEN YOU'RE READY FOR A REAL

SANDWICH, YOU KNOW WHERE TO COME

GET IT.

[light airy music]

♪

>> ♪ TELL ME YOU LOVE ME

♪ TELL ME YOU WANT ME

♪ EVEN THOUGH IT'S NOT TRUE

♪ I WANT TO HEAR IT FROM YOU

♪ YEAH, MY HUSBAND WENT

♪ AROUND AND AROUND AND AROUND

♪ AND AROUND AND AROUND

♪ IT'S HARD TO THINK

♪ ABOUT LEAVING TOMORROW

♪ WHEN I NEED YOU NOW

♪ BECAUSE THE TRUTH HURTS

♪ I'D RATHER LIVE

♪ IN A BEAUTIFUL LIE

>> I DIDN'T NEED A DAY TO GET IT

OUT OF MY SYSTEM.

>> YOU BETTER HAD BROUGHT YOUR

ASS DOWN HERE.

>> ♪ THAT YOU NEED ME

♪ TO BREATHE

♪ YEAH, TELL ME YOUR FAITHFUL

♪ AND THAT THERE WILL NEVER BE

♪ ANOTHER GIRL

♪ I'LL PLAY MY PART

♪ INSIDE A MADE-UP WORLD

>> OH, HELL.

COME IN HERE.

>> ♪ IT'S HARD TO THINK

♪ ABOUT LEAVING TOMORROW

♪ WHEN I NEED YOU NOW

♪ BECAUSE THE TRUTH HURTS e ro]

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