Original subtitles

- MY LEGS HURT.

- YOU WANT THE ROLE, DON'T YOU? STAY FOCUSED ON THE MISSION.

- MY BUTT HURTS.

- NO PAIN, NO GAIN.

- MY TEETH HURT.

- OOH, THAT'S PROBABLY BAD.

OH! HEY.

- MAKE-OUT BREAK.

- MM-MM.

- WHAT?

- YOU KNOW, GIRL, DO NOT START SOMETHING YOU CAN'T FINISH.

- [chuckles] WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

- YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT MEANS.

ONCE AGAIN MY NAME IS NOT THE ONLY THING THAT'S BLUE.

- RELAX.

I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS WHO KISS.

- WELL, IT'S BEEN THREE WEEKS.

WHAT IF I WANT TO DO MORE THAN JUST KISS?

- WELL, THEN YOU NEED TO BE MORE THAN JUST MY FRIEND.

- LOOK, YOU KNOW WE'RE MORE THAN FRIENDS.

- OH, REALLY?

WHAT WOULD YOU CALL THIS?

- I DON'T KNOW.

LOOK, I KNOW THAT I LIKE YOU, I KNOW I LIKE DOING THINGS

WITH YOU, AND I KNOW I WANT TO KEEP DOING THINGS WITH YOU.

NASTY THINGS WITH YOU.

- [laughs]

AND, SEE, NOW THAT IS WHY YOU'RE STANDING IN THE BUSHES

WITH A CHUMPY.

COME ON, LET'S GO FINISH THE MISSION.

- I NEED A MINUTE.

NAKED GRANDMA, NAKED GRANDMA, NAKED GRANDMA.

AH, THERE WE GO.

[rock music]

♪

- HEY, POOK, WHAT YOU DOING?

PLAYING WORDS WITH FRIENDS WITH YOUR PRISON WIFE?

- HA-HA, NO, BABY.

I'M WORKING ON MY NEW BUSINESS PLAN.

YO, APPARENTLY YOUR BOY RICK FOX BOUGHT A GUN,

SO HE WON'T BE NEEDING MY SECURITY SERVICES NOW.

- WHAT? - YEAH.

- AH!

DAMN THAT RICK FOX!

LORD, YOU KNOW WHAT, MAY HE JUST SHOOT HIMSELF IN THE FACE.

AMEN? [knock at door]

- YEAH, SAY A PRAYER FOR ME TOO.

BUSINESS IS SLOW DOWN HERE.

I'M GONNA HAVE TO KEEP SOME OF MY CLIENTS UP NORTH

JUST TO MAKE ENDS MEET.

- YOU GONNA BE ALL RIGHT, BABY.

- [grunts] - OKAY?

- MM-HMM.

- OH.

- HEY, GIRL. - HEY.

- WHAT'S UP, POOKIE? - WHAT UP? WHAT UP?

- SCARY MOVIE 5TIME. YOU READY?

- YEAH, LET ME JUST GET MY WEED BAG.

- YO, WEED? - I MEAN MY PURSE.

- FOR REAL?

- OKAY, AND DO NOT JUDGE ME.

YOU KNOW I HAVE GLAUCOMAS.

- YEAH, RIGHT.

- ALL RIGHT, POOKIE. - ALL RIGHT.

- LOVE YOU. - ALL RIGHT. LOVE YOU TOO.

- BYE, POOKIE. - ALL RIGHT, Y'ALL BE GOOD.

- OH, WE GONNA BE GOOD.

- ALL RIGHT.

- MM.

HEY.

- OKAY, WHAT DO YOU WANT?

- WHAT THE HELL?

SO WE NOT GONNA GO SEE SCARY MOVIE 5?

- SPOILER ALERT: GIRL, IT AIN'T BEEN FUNNY SINCE THE WAYANS.

- YOU KNOW WHAT, TASHA, THIS IS SOME B.S.

NOW I'M ABOUT TO MISS MY MOVIE

BECAUSE OF YOU AND YOUR...

VEHICULAR FREAKNIK.

- DON'T WORRY, JASON'S WIFE.

I'M NOT DOING THIS BACK-AND-FORTH ANYMORE.

TASHA, IT'S EITHER ME OR PINKIE.

- POOKIE. - WHATEVER. CHOOSE.

- LOOK, RICK, I'M TIRED OF CHEATING, TOO, OKAY?

IT AIN'T IN MY BLOOD.

GIVES ME AGITA.

LOOK, I LOVE YOU, RICK, OKAY?

AND I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT YOU.

I'M JUST GONNA HAVE TO LET PINKY GO-- POOKIE.

- REALLY? - REALLY.

- [sighs]

POOR, POOR POOKIE.

- OH, GOD. WAIT, POOKIE.

I GOT TO BREAK THE NEWS TO HIM.

- OOH, USE SPEAKERPHONE.

- NO.

COME ON, RICK, ME AND POOKIE,

WE'VE BEEN DOWN FOR EACH OTHER

SINCE WE WERE KIDS, ALL RIGHT?

I'VE ALREADY DONE ENOUGH TO HURT HIM.

JUST GIVE ME A DAY OR TWO, OKAY?

- ALL RIGHT, BABE, I GOT YOU.

- [chuckles]

- ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?

- IT'S HARD TO GET MY PANTS OFF.

- NO, NO, NO, I'M GONNA GET THESE PANTS OFF.

- YEAH, GET IT. BABY.

- OH, YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU MIGHT WANT TO HURRY UP

AND CATCH THAT MOVIE.

- YEAH, TWICE.

- WELL, WELL, WELL.

MISS SHEIBANI.

WE MEET AGAIN.

- MR. WRIGHT.

WELL, I KNOW YOU'VE CALLED MY

OFFICE SEVERAL TIMES FOR A MEETING,

BUT LIKE I TOLD YOU BEFORE,

WE'RE JUST IN DIFFERENT BUSINESSES.

NOW, IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ME, I HAVE A MEETING

WITH AN UP-AND-COMING JAPANESE TEXTILE IMPORTER,

MR. TEMPURA, AND I--

OH, GOD.

- ARIGATO.

I WAS GONNA GO WITH MR. MIYAGI,

BUT IT FELT TOO JOKEY.

NOW LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS.

- I TOLD YOU, I AM NOT

INTERESTED IN WORKING WITH YOU

UNLESS YOU ARE SERIOUS ABOUT TAKING YOUR BRAND

TO THE NEXT LEVEL.

AND YOUR BADONKADONK BURGER JOINT

DOESN'T SAY SERIOUS OR NEXT LEVEL.

IT SAYS HEART DISEASE.

- WELL, I BROUGHT ALONG 50,000 OF MY FRIENDS.

BOOM, BOOM.

THEY CAN VOUCH FOR JUST HOW SERIOUS I AM.

I WAS GONNA PUT IT IN A BRIEFCASE,

BUT IT FELT TOO JOKEY.

- GOOD-BYE, MALIK. - YOU KNOW WHAT?

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, MISS SHEIBANI.

YES, I COULD GO WITH ANOTHER BUSINESS CONSULTANT,

BUT I'VE DONE MY RESEARCH.

I LOVE THE WAY YOU DO BUSINESS.

YOU'RE YOUNG, YOU'RE FLY, YOU'RE SUCCESSFUL,

YOU'RE--YOU'RE THE FEMALE VERSION OF MALIK WRIGHT.

AND I SEE YOU SPORT THE WIDOW'S PEAK TOO.

I LOVE THAT. LOVE--

OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

MISS SHEIBANI, YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M SORRY.

IN ALL SERIOUSNESS, MY SHELF LIFE AS AN ATHLETE IS ALMOST UP.

AND I REALLY WANT TO--NO, I NEED TO CREATE A FUTURE FOR MYSELF.

AND MY GUT IS TELLING ME THAT'S WITH YOU.

- I LIKED THE PART WHERE YOU CALLED ME YOUNG AND FLY.

OKAY.

IF YOU ARE AS SERIOUS AS YOU SOUND,

MEET ME AT SHEIBANI TOWERS TOMORROW, 11:00 A.M.,

SUITE 3512, OKAY?

BE THERE ON TIME OR DO NOT BE THERE AT ALL.

- I GOT IT.

I'LL BE THERE 11:00 A.M.

TOMORROW MORNING.

- OKAY, LADIES.

[bell dinging] ALL RIGHT, LADIES, LADIES.

HEIFERS! HEIFERS!

DAMN.

THANK YOU.

AS YOU KNOW, I AM YOUR NEW SUNBEAM PRESIDENT.

SO FEEL FREE TO HENCEFORTH AND FORTHWITH REFER

TO ME AS MADAM PRESIDENT.

OH, AND TO MY LATINAS, IT'S EL PRESIDENTE.

AND TO YOU HOOD RATS, IT'S THE DON-DADA.

AND SO ON AND SO FORTH.

- WHAT ABOUT LYING?

- OOH, EXCUSE YOU, NEWBIE.

OKAY, EL PRESIDENTE IS STILL HABLA-ING.

- [chuckles] - NOW, PRE-SEASON,

IT IS COMING UP ON US, OKAY?

SO I HAVE A LIST OF ACTIVITIES,

AND I'M GONNA BE NEEDING SOME VOLUNTEERS FOR IT.

SO I'M GONNA START WITH YOU ROOKIE SUNBEAMS.

- OKAY.

OOH, BAKE SALE.

GOT MY NAME WRITTEN ALL OVER THAT, LITERALLY.

CHARDONIZZAY. OKAY.

I'M JUST PLAYING.

- EW.

- YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M NOT SURE

I'M GONNA BE A SUNBEAM MUCH LONGER.

- WHY? WHAT ELSE YOU GOT TO DO?

- WELL, I'M NOT REALLY COMFORTABLE DISCUSSING

MY BUSINESS IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY.

- IS THIS SEX BUSINESS?

- I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

- OH, HELL.

ALL RIGHT, WRAP IT UP, LADIES.

[bell dinging]

KEIRA'S ABOUT TO LOSE BLUE OVER SOME SEX BUSINESS.

NOW I DON'T KNOW IF SHE FREAKY-DEAKY

OR SHE AIN'T FREAKY ENOUGH, OKAY?

BUT I WILL LET YOU KNOW WHEN WE RECONVENE.

ALL RIGHT. THAT'S IT FOR NOW, SUNBEAMS.

GO ON, LADIES. GET UP OUT OF HERE.

YOU HEARD THE BELL. [bell dings]

ALL RIGHT.

THANK YOU.

UH-UH, NOT YOU, CINDERELLA.

I DIDN'T FORGET ABOUT THAT LITTLE LIAR REMARK, OKAY?

YOUR ROOKIE BUTT, GIRL, YOU GOT CLEANUP DUTY.

- [scoffs] WHATEVER.

- GO ON. - BOSSY.

- WHAT'S THE PROBLEM, LITTLE GIRL?

- THINGS ARE JUST KIND OF GETTING OUT OF HAND

WITH ME AND BLUE.

- OH, LORD.

IF HE BEAT YOU, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

WE GOT A REAL BIG GAME THIS W--

- NO, HE DIDN'T BEAT ME.

- WELL, THEN WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

HE TOO BIG?

HE TOO SMALL?

NO, NO, HE TOO BIG, HUH?

HE GOT ONE OF THEM ELEPHANT TRUNKS, DON'T HE?

- UM, I DON'T KNOW.

I'VE NEVER SEEN IT.

- WHY NOT?

- BECAUSE WE'VE NEVER DONE IT.

AND I'M NOT EVEN SURE I WANT HIM TO BE MY FIRST.

- FIRST WHAT?

FIRST FOOTBALL PLAYER?

- NO.

- YOUR FIRST BLACK MAN?

'CAUSE, YOU KNOW WHAT, I READ ABOUT YOU AND THAT McCULKIN.

- NO.

- WELL, DAMN, YOU CAN'T MEAN

THAT YOU AIN'T NEVER HAD SEX BEFORE.

- A VIRGIN?

GIRL, WAIT A MINUTE. AIN'T YOU ABOUT 25?

- IT'S NOT THAT BIG A DEAL.

I JUST HAVEN'T MET THE GUY THAT

I WANT TO GO THERE WITH.

YOU KNOW, ALL THE GUYS I MEET

ARE ACTORS OR DIRECTORS OR SOME BALLERS

AND JUST GUYS THAT WANT

TO RUN THROUGH A BUNCH OF CHICKS LIKE MALIK.

NO OFFENSE.

- NONE TAKEN. GIRL, MY SON IS DISGUSTING.

- DISGUSTING.

- I KNOW WHERE YOU COMING FROM,

BUT IF I WOULD HAVE BELIEVED

EVERYTHING I HEARD ABOUT FOOTBALL PLAYERS,

I NEVER WOULD HAVE GOT WITH JASON.

I THINK EVERYBODY DESERVES A BLANK CANVAS.

- PSSH, BUMP A BLANK CANVAS. OKAY, LOVE IS MESSY.

IT AIN'T EVER BEEN A PRETTY PICTURE.

I MEAN, SOMETIMES IT'S MUSCULAR,

STOCKY, WITH TWO STRIKES.

OTHER TIMES IT'S BIG, DUMB, WITH JOHNNY MATHIS HAIR.

SO WHAT YOU GONNA DO?

WHAT, YOU JUST GONNA WALK THROUGH LIFE WITH WHITE WALLS?

NO, YOU NEED SOMEBODY TO COME IN THERE

AND JUST BANG THEM WALLS OUT, JUST... [growls]

- UH, OKAY, I APPRECIATE THE MOTHERLY ADVICE.

BUT I'M GOOD. I'M JUST GONNA STICK TO MY LIST,

AND WHEN I MEET THE GUY THAT LIVES UP TO IT,

THEN MAYBE I'LL THINK ABOUT LETTING MY WALLS COME DOWN.

- WELL, GIRL, WHAT'S ON YOUR LIST?

- [chuckles]

- WELL, "A," SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T THINK

WINING AND DINING ME IS GONNA GET THEM IN MY PANTS.

I CAN PAY FOR MY OWN FOOD, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

- YES. - MM, OKAY.

WHAT ELSE YOU GOT?

- "B," SOMEONE WHO HAS MY BACK FOR A CHANGE.

I'M TIRED OF BEING SOMEONE'S ARM CANDY.

IT'D BE NICE TO, YOU KNOW,

HAVE SOMEONE CARE ABOUT MY CAREER.

- MM-HMM. - ANYTHING ELSE, PRINCESS.

- SOMEONE WHO CAN MAKE ME LAUGH EVEN WHEN THINGS ARE BAD.

- AW.

- GIRL, I'M GETTING READY TO DO IT RIGHT NOW.

JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE AIN'T NO SHARP OBJECTS UP IN HERE.

OKAY, 'CAUSE YOU KNOW HE GOT TWO STRIKES.

I AIN'T TRYING TO GET TO THREE.

OKAY?

ALL RIGHT, I'LL CALL YOU LATER, BABY.

BYE.

- HEY, BABE.

- HEY. - HUH?

JUST GOT MY INTERNATIONAL FLYING PAPERS.

AND I'M HEADED TO JUAREZ WITH 2 CHAINZ.

- OKAY, SO, WAIT, SO YOU HEADED TO MEXICO,

BUT YOU GONNA LEAVE MY HOUSE LOOKING LIKE LIKE TIJUANA

AFTER THE CARTEL DONE RAN THROUGH IT?

SOMETHING GOT TO GIVE, POOK.

- OH, WELL, WAIT A MINUTE.

THIS--THIS IS A SIDE EFFECT OF THE "CHANGE," ISN'T IT?

- HOW DARE YOU?

OKAY, THE ONLY THING NEEDS TO "CHANGE" UP IN HERE IS YOU.

HELL, YOU'RE SMOTHERING ME, POOK, DAMN.

I NEED SOME SPACE.

- TASHA, WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

- LOOK, I'M SAYING, I'M TIRED

OF LOOKING AT YOUR MESS, OKAY?

I'M TIRED OF LOOKING AT YOUR SOCKS.

TIRED OF LOOKING AT YOUR BOOKS.

TERRY MCMILLAN, TOM CLANCY,

YOU'RE ALL OVER THE PLACE.

PICK A DAMN GENRE.

OH, AND REALLY?

WHAT IS THIS?

- [stammers]

- OH, OH, OKAY, WHAT, A DIAMOND PINKIE RING?

SO WHAT THE HELL, YOU DOING A BLAXPLOITATION MOVIE NOW?

- NO, IT'S AN EMERALD-SHAPED DIAMOND.

THE SAME ONE JAMES DEBARGE GAVE TO JANET JACKSON.

SAME ONE THAT YOU SAID THAT YOU

WANTED WHEN YOU SAW THEM ON SOUL TRAIN

WHEN WE WERE LITTLE KIDS, HMM?

- OH, GOD, POOK.

- LOOK, LATASHA MACK, WILL YOU MARRY ME?

- YES.

YES!

YES. YES!

- THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, BABY.

both: OH.

- OOH.

- YO, MY MAN.

WHAT'S UP WITH THE ELEVATORS?

- OH, THEY'LL BE BACK UP IN 15 MINUTES.

- DAMN.

MAN, I GOT A MEETING ON THE 35TH FLOOR AT 11:00.

- IT'S ONLY 10:52, MAN.

YOU'RE GOOD.

- THE MEETING AIN'T WITH BLACK PEOPLE.

- OH, YOU SCREWED, BRO.

[cell phone rings]

- HELLO. - SHUT UP.

I'M ENGAGED TO POOKIE.

- ENGAGED?

THOUGHT YOU WAS ABOUT TO BREAK UP WITH POOKIE?

- I KNOW, GIRL. I TRIED.

I PICKED A FIGHT WITH HIM AND EVERYTHING.

BUT INSTEAD, GIRL, HE GAVE ME THE JANET RING.

[singsong] A JANET RING.

[chuckles]

GIRL, WHEN POOKIE PUT THIS RING ON MY FINGER,

HONEY, MY WHOLE LIFE WITH US,

IT JUST FLASHED BEFORE MY EYES.

MM-HMM.

I SAW US RETIRING IN RICHMOND.

GIRL, WE HAD A WHITE CHAIN-LINKED FENCE,

AND WE HAD A YARD FULL OF PIT BULLS.

IT WAS NICE.

- HOLD UP.

WHAT HAPPENED TO "RICK, I LOVE YOU,

"YOU THE ONLY MAN FOR ME,

"AND LET'S DO IT ALL UP AND THROUGH CHARDONNAY'S CAR

"WITHOUT EVEN HAVING THE DECENCY

OF GETTING IT DETAILED AFTERWARDS, RICK"?

- WHO YOU TALKING TO?

- OOH, GOT TO GO.

HUH?

- YOU SAID RICK.

WERE YOU JUST TALKING TO RICK FOX?

- UM, MM-HMM.

HE WANTS TO COME TO SPADONNAY

AND GET A CONSULTATION, A HAIR CONSULTATION.

YEAH, HE WAS LIKE, "SO DO I ROCK THE CURLS,

"DO I KEEP IT LOW, GO ALL GRAY?"

YOU KNOW, I'M LIKE A DOCTOR.

- RIGHT, RIGHT, WELL, I HOPE

YOU TOLD HIM TO ROCK THE GRAY.

- PSSH, YOU KNOW I DID.

- [chuckles]

- HEY!

- UH, IT'S OKAY, LYNN.

- YEAH, LYNN, WE'RE GOOD.

THANK YOU. SHE'S A SWEETHEART.

OKAY, WE CAN START THE MEETING NOW.

- THERE IS NO MEETING.

- NO, NO, NO, NO, I MADE IT, GIRL.

I GOT, LIKE, A MINUTE TO SPARE.

COME ON, NOW.

- THERE WAS NEVER A MEETING, MALIK.

THIS WAS A TEST.

I REALLY WANTED TO SEE HOW SERIOUS YOU WERE,

SO I HAD THE ELEVATOR SHUT DOWN.

AND I HAVE TO SAY, I'M IMPRESSED.

- WELL, I HAVE TO SAY YOU A DIRTY, MANIPULATIVE SNOB.

AND YOU CAN KISS MY SWEATY,

STINKY BLACK BUTT.

- ARE YOU FINISHED? - HELL, NO, I AIN'T FINISHED.

CAN YOU VALIDATE MY PARKING?

- OF COURSE, BUT BEFORE YOU GO,

THERE ARE A FEW IMPORTANT

GENTLEMEN THAT I WOULD REALLY LIKE YOU TO MEET.

SEND THEM IN, LYNN.

THESE GENTLEMEN ARE LOOKING FOR A SPOKESMAN AND PARTNER

FOR THEIR NEW LINE OF ENERGY DRINK.

THIS COULD BE HUGE.

I MEAN, NEXT LEVEL HUGE, OKAY?

THINK 50 CENT AND VITAMIN WATER.

BUT THERE'S NO VITAMINS AND WE'RE STILL WAITING TO HEAR

FROM THE FDA IF WE CAN ACTUALLY CALL IT WATER.

- WE'RE EXCITED TO BE IN BUSINESS WITH YOU, MALIK.

A MAN WHO CAN RUN UP 35 FLIGHTS OF STAIRS IN 7 MINUTES?

PERFECT FACE FOR OUR BRAND,

BASICALLY WATER.

- SO THE NAME OF THE PRODUCT IS "BASICALLY WATER"?

- I KNOW. I KNOW.

FEELS JOKEY, RIGHT?

- NO, NO, NO, MM-MM.

NOT TO ME.

- WELL, THEN CONGRATULATIONS, PARTNER.

- [chuckles]

- WELCOME ABOARD.

- THANK YOU. THANK YOU. I APPRECIATE IT.

[cell phone buzzing]

- DAMN.

HEY, RICK.

- SO DID YOU DO IT?

- OH, YEAH.

I DID IT ALL RIGHT.

- OH, HI.

- OH, I SEE YOU'RE STILL ALIVE. WHEW.

- SORRY. I'VE BEEN TRYING TO LEARN THESE LINES.

- OH, I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN AVOIDING ME

AFTER OUR RUN THE OTHER DAY.

- NO. [chuckles]

NO. NO.

BUT, YOU KNOW, I--THIS AUDITION

IS TOMORROW, AND I JUST, YOU KNOW, I GOT TO NAIL IT.

- WELL, YOU STILL GOT TO EAT.

I'LL WHIP YOU UP SOMETHING.

OOH, COBWEBS.

- EXCUSE YOU.

THERE IS PLENTY IN THERE.

TOP SHELF, CHAMPAGNE.

BOTTOM SHELF, HALF CAN OF TUNA.

AND IN THE CUPBOARD YOU HAVE SALTINES.

BOOM.

- HA. SWEET.

CHAMPAGNE TUNA CASSEROLE COMING UP.

YOU KNOW, I COULD HELP YOU WITH YOUR LINES IF YOU WANT.

I'VE DONE THREE COMMERCIALS.

- MM.

- YOU KNOW WHAT, LET ME SEE YOUR SIDES.

WHAT? THAT'S ACTOR SPEAK.

- I KNOW, BUT THIS IS A SCRIPT.

- OH.

EXCUSE ME.

- IT'S AN INDIE, AND I PLAY A GROCERY STORE CLERK

WHO'S FROM THE WRONG SIDE OF TOWN

WHO FALLS IN LOVE WITH THE OWNER'S SON.

- LET'S GO.

"THE SHIPMENT OF EGGS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE BY NOW.

MY DAD IS GONNA KILL ME."

- "YOU?

"I'M PROBABLY GONNA GET FIRED.

I NEED THIS JOB TO PAY FOR MY MOM'S OPERATION."

- "DON'T WORRY.

WHATEVER HAPPENS, I HAVE YOUR BACK."

WHAT?

IT SAYS HERE WE'RE SUPPOSED TO KISS.

- FORGET IT. THIS IS STUPID.

- OKAY, I'LL JUST GO BACK TO MY TUNA CASSEROLE SURPRISE.

- I JUST CAN'T TURN IT ON.

IT'S YOU, AND IT'S ME.

IT'S WEIRD.

YOU KNOW IT'S WEIRD, RIGHT?

- OKAY, SO I'M NOT ME, AND YOU'RE NOT YOU.

- OKAY.

- YOU KNOW WHAT?

WHEN I HAD TO DO THOSE SANDWICH COMMERCIALS,

EVEN AFTER FIVE TAKES OF FIVE FOOT-LONGS,

I STILL HAD TO ACT LIKE I WAS HUNGRY.

I HAD TO CHANNEL MY EMOTIONS.

YOU KNOW WHAT I HAD TO DO?

- HMM?

- I HAD TO REMEMBER WHEN I WAS A KID, HOME ALONE,

AND BOTH MY PARENTS WERE DEPLOYED,

AND, YOU KNOW, I HAD TO MAKE DINNER

OUT OF WHATEVER WAS IN THE FRIDGE.

HENCE...

CHAMPAGNE TUNA SURPRISE WAS BORN...

AND TURKEY NOODLE KETCHUP AMBUSH...

AND SWEET POTATO AVOCADO MEDLEY.

THE LIST JUST GOES ON.

- YEAH, I SEE. - MM-HMM.

- ♪ DUH-DUH-DUH

IT'S ACTUALLY KIND OF GOOD.

- YEAH, THANK YOU.

- [chuckles]

- "THAT SHIPMENT OF EGGS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE BY NOW.

MY DAD IS GONNA KILL ME."

- "YOU?

"I'M PROBABLY GONNA GET FIRED.

AND I NEED THIS JOB TO PAY FOR MY MOM'S OPERATION."

- "DON'T WORRY.

WHATEVER HAPPENS, I HAVE YOUR BACK."

[Emeli Sande's River]

- ♪ FOLLOW ME

♪ I'LL BE YOUR RIVER, RIVER

♪ I'LL DO THE RUNNING FOR YOU

♪ FOLLOW ME

♪ I'LL BE YOUR RIVER, RIVER

♪ I'LL MOVE THE MOUNTAINS

♪ FOR YOU

♪ FOLLOW ME

♪ I'LL BE YOUR RIVER, RIVER

♪ I'M HERE

♪ TO KEEP YOU FLOATING

♪ FOLLOW ME

♪ I'LL BE YOUR RIVER, RIVER

♪ I'M HERE

♪ TO KEEP YOU FLOATING

♪ FOLLOW ME

♪ I'LL BE YOUR RIVER, RIVER

♪ RIVER, RIVER, YEAH

♪ FOLLOW ME

♪

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