Original subtitles

COMING LIVE.

>> COME ON, BROTHER.

NO ONE WEARS A SUIT LIKE THAT.

>> THIS IS ACTUALLY A TWO-PART

QUESTION -- WHERE ON EARTH DID

YOU GET THAT STUPID JACKET, AND

WHY THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING IT

IN PUBLIC?

>> REALLY, JASON?

>> ALL RIGHT, "HOT SAUCE," DO

YOU HAVE THE BEST FACIAL HAIR ON

THIS TEAM?

>> I MIGHT HAVE THE BEST FACIAL

HAIR IN SAN DIEGO.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> DERWIN, "DING DONG,"

"DING-A-LING," SERIOUS

QUESTION -- ONE PLY OR TWO?

>> THREE, JASON.

>> THREE? GOOD LORD, WHY DON'T

YOU JUST USE A TOWEL?

>> I'M SO PROUD OF HIM FOR

MAKING "PEOPLE'S 50 MOST

BEAUTIFUL LATIN MEN," AND HE'S

NOT EVEN LATIN!

[ LAUGHS ]

>> IT'S THE BEARD.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> OH. MMM! MM-MMM.

>> * RACK CITY, CHICK

* RACK CITY, CHICK

>> LIL' KIM OR NICKI MINAJ?

BEYONCé OR RIHANNA?

ANGELINA OR BRAD?

>> THANKS.

I'LL CLEAR THE PATH FOR YOU INTO

THE STADIUM.

I'LL HAVE YOU THERE IN MINUTES.

>> OH, JOE, I LOVE YOU.

BUT DON'T TELL YOUR WIFE,

BECAUSE I LOVE HER.

>> * $10, $20s, AND THEM $50s

* I'M A...STAR

>> * STAR

>> * LOOK AT THE PAINT ON THE

CAR *

>> WHO'S THE VICE PRESIDENT?

>> DAWG, THIS IS SUPPOSED TO

BE MEDIA DAY, OKAY?

WHAT'S UP WITH THE SILLY

QUESTIONS?

>> YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER, DO

YOU?

>> DUDE, YEAH, THE MAN IS, UM,

SOME SILLY -- I -- YO, I CAN'T

ANSWER THE QUESTION WITH THE

MIKE IN MY FACE.

>> YEAH, YEAH.

THAT'S WHY. THAT'S WHY.

NO FURTHER QUESTIONS, KOJAK.

BEST FACIAL HAIR ON THE TEAM --

GO.

>> YOUR MOM.

>> OH, PLEASE, DON'T SAY

"HOT SAUCE."

>> [ CHUCKLES ]

[ SIGHS ]

>> WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

>> IT'S LIKE MY STOMACH GOT ITS

DANCING SHOES ON.

>> GO GET YOU SOME GINGER ALE.

>> THANK YOU, BABY.

>> DERWIN, ONE LAST QUESTION.

>> YEAH.

>> WHICH ACTOR WOULD PLAY YOU IN

YOUR LIFE STORY?

>> UH, WHICH ACTOR WOULD PLAY ME

IN MY LIFE STORY?

I WOULD SAY MERYL STREEP --

MERYL STREEP, 'CAUSE IF YOU SEEN

HER, THAT WOMAN DON'T ACT -- SHE

TRANSFORMS.

>> EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME.

I'M HERE FOR MEDIA DAY.

EXCUSE ME.

OH, WAIT.

>> YEAH, YEAH, NO.

THANK YOU, BUDDY.

>> YEAH, WHERE ARE YOU?

WHERE ARE YOU?

OH, MY GOD.

>> OKAY, LAST QUESTION.

WHAT WOULD YOUR PRO WRESTLER

NAME BE AND WHY?

>> EXCUSE ME.

>> AND, FYI, "MR. HOT POCKETS"

IS ALREADY TAKEN.

>> JUST...

HEY.

MWAH!

OKAY. NOW I'M READY.

>> YOU'RE READY?

>> YEAH.

>> WELL, WE'RE DONE -- JUST GOT

FINISHED.

THANKS FOR BEING THERE FOR ME,

THOUGH.

>> WHAT?

>> * RACK CITY, CHICK

* RACK, RACK CITY, CHICK

REPRESENTATIVE.

REP-RE-SENT-A-TIVE!

OH, HI THERE.

HEY, UH, I JUST WANTED TO KNOW

IF YOU GUYS HAD ANY FIRST-CLASS

SEATS FROM SAN DIEGO TO

WASHINGTON, D.C., THIS SUNDAY.

UH, YES, I KNOW THAT THAT'S THE

DAY OF THE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME,

AND, YES, I STILL WANT YOU TO

CHECK.

YEAH, SO THE 6:00 WILL GET ME IN

AT 2:00 A.M., RIGHT?

ALL RIGHT.

THANK YOU.

OKAY, I'LL CALL RIGHT BACK.

BYE.

SO, I WILL BE ABLE TO GO TO THE

GAME FOR SURE THIS SUNDAY AND

GET TO JOHNS HOPKINS TO START MY

RESIDENCY MONDAY AND MAYBE LEAP

TALL BUILDINGS TUESDAY.

ANYWAYS, I JUST HAVE TO LEAVE

RIGHT AFTER THE GAME ON SUNDAY,

BUT I'LL BE THERE.

[ BREATHES DEEPLY ]

LOOK, DERWIN, I KNOW THAT YOU'RE

UPSET ABOUT MEDIA DAY, BUT,

TECHNICALLY, I DIDN'T MISS IT.

I MEAN, THERE WERE STILL

3 1/2 HOURS LEFT.

BUT IF YOU REALLY WANT TO GET

TECHNICAL, THERE WAS

3 HOURS AND 46 MINUTES LEFT --

I JUST ROUNDED DOWN AND DROPPED

16 MINUTES.

WHY? WHY?

BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!

[ LAUGHS ]

OHH, GOD, COME ON, DERWIN.

JUST SAY SOMETHING.

>> YOU KNOW, LAST CHAMPIONSHIP

GAME I WAS INJURED, AND YOU AND

I WAS BROKEN UP.

NOW HERE'S MY SHOT TO BE A PART

OF A CHAMPIONSHIP TEAM AND ETCH

MY PLACE IN HISTORY, AND YOU

RIGHT BY MY SIDE AS MY WIFE.

>> I KNOW. I KNOW.

THAT'S WHY I'M SITTING HERE --

>> BUT YOU WON'T BE THERE IF WE

WIN THE CHAMPIONSHIP, WILL YOU,

MEL?

>> YES, I WILL.

>> WELL, NOT TO CELEBRATE AFTER,

'CAUSE YOU'LL BE ON A PLANE,

RIGHT?

DAMN, I DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT

IF WE LOST.

WHAT IF WE LOSE?

>> YOU'RE GOING TO WIN, DERWIN.

>> BUT WHAT IF WE DON'T,

MELANIE, HUH?

YOU DON'T THINK I'M GONNA NEED

YOU THERE FOR THAT?

>> BABY, BABY, I'M TRYING.

I MEAN, THAT'S WHY I'M WORKING

SO HARD TO BE IN TWO PLACES AT

ONCE.

>> NOBODY ASKED YOU TO DO THAT,

MELANIE, AND QUITE HONESTLY,

THIS WHOLE BACK-AND-FORTH STUFF

HAS BECOME A DISTRACTION.

LIKE, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO

CONCENTRATE WHEN YOU'RE UP

THERE, FLYING AROUND, AND YOU

GOT YOUR SCHEDULE AND I'M TRYING

TO FOCUS ON ONE OF THE MOST

IMPORTANT DAYS OF MY LIFE, MEL?

>> [ SIGHS ]

DERWIN, I KNOW, AND THAT'S WHY

I'M TRYING.

>> OKAY, WELL, TRY THIS ONE ON

FOR SIZE -- IF YOU CAN'T BE

THERE FOR ME COMPLETELY, THEN

JUST BE GONE.

>> [ INDISTINCT RAPPING ]

>> SO IN CONCLUSION, DERWIN

"SHAM-A-LAMA DING DONG" DAVIS

WIPES HIS BUM WITH TOILET PAPER

THAT DOESN'T EXIST,

JAVON GLENN USED TO PURPOSELY

HAVE THE TIPS OF HIS HAIR

FROSTED.

AND MALIK WRIGHT OWNS A

LEOPARD-PRINT SNUGGIE.

I'M NOT KIDDING.

GOT TO LOVE MEDIA DAY.

ALL RIGHT, FOLKS, NOW ALL WE GOT

TO DO IS WAIT FOR THE BIG

CHAMPIONSHIP GAME ON SUNDAY.

UNTIL THEN, I'M JASON PITTS...

AND YOU'RE WELCOME.

ALL RIGHT, FELLAS, THAT'S A

WRAP.

GOOD STUFF.

MICK, ARE YOU GONNA TAKE MY

MIKE?

THANK YOU.

AMATEUR HOUR, SERIOUSLY.

[ CELLPHONE RINGING ]

[ SIGHS ]

KELLY-KEL...

HEY, THANKS FOR CALLING ME BACK.

YEAH? WHAT GAVE IT AWAY?

[ CHUCKLES ]

YOU WERE ALWAYS SUCH A GOOD

LISTENER -- YOU KNOW THAT?

SO, LOOK, UM, I GOT TO TALK TO

YOU ABOUT SOMETHING.

IT'S KIND OF IMPORTANT.

I'VE BEEN DOING A LOT OF

THINKING LATELY ABOUT

RELATIONSHIPS, AND, UH, OH,

I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO -- HOW

TO START.

UM.

[ INTRO TO "HEART ATTACK"

PLAYS ]

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

>> WOW. HELLO.

>> * WHOO

TURN THE LIGHTS ON.

* OH-OH-OH-OH-OH

>> ALL RIGHT, HOLD ON.

HOLD ON. HOLD ON, LISTEN.

>> NO TALKING.

>> CHAR. CHAR.

>> NO TALKING.

>> OH, OH.

MMM.

>> * OH-OH-OH-OH-OH

>> MNH-MNH. NO.

HOLD UP. HOLD UP. HOLD UP.

>> BABY, LOOK, IF YOU NEED TO

TAKE A BLUE PILL AGAIN, IT'S

COOL.

WE CAN JUST WATCH TV UNTIL

YOU'RE READY.

I THINK "HAWTHORNE" IS ON.

>> NO, THAT'S --

>> OH, THAT'S RIGHT.

SHE GOT CANCELED. DAMN.

POOR JADA.

WE CAN WATCH "BONES."

THAT'S NEVER GETTING CANCELED.

>> CHARDONNAY, WE NEED TO TALK.

>> YOU DIRTY, BALD...

>> NOT THAT KIND OF TALK --

WE NEED TO...TALK.

>> [ SCOFFS ]

WAIT. HOLD UP. HOLD UP.

YOU WANT TO TALK, AND I'M

WEARING THIS?

OH, MY GOD.

ARE YOU GONNA TELL ME YOU WHITE?

>> WHAT? CHARDONNAY --

>> OH, MY GOD, YOU ARE.

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN WHEN YOU

CAME UP HERE WITH THEM TIGHT...

CARGO SHORTS.

>> OKAY, THEY'RE UTILITY SHORTS,

AND THEY'RE VERY FUNCTIONAL.

>> WELL, BABY, THEY WERE ABOVE

YOUR KNEE.

>> I'M NOT WHITE, ALL RIGHT?

WOULD YOU JUST --

[ SIGHS ]

OKAY, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY

THIS, SO I'M JUST GONNA SAY IT.

WE NEED TO BREAK UP.

>> YEAH, RIGHT.

THAT'S VERY FUNNY.

>> OW!

>> OHH, OHH, OHH.

BABY, I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY.

LET ME GET YOU SOME ICE.

>> NO, I DON'T NEED ICE.

I NEED YOU TO BE STILL AND SIT

DOWN AND LISTEN TO ME FOR A

SECOND, PLEASE.

>> * OH

* THE WORST PAIN I EVER HAD

>> LOOK, I WASN'T JOKING ABOUT

WHAT I JUST SAID.

THIS THING BETWEEN US STARTED

OUT AS, LIKE, A JOKE, AND THEN

IT SNOWBALLED INTO SOMETHING

ELSE REALLY QUICKLY, AND I'M --

I-I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE.

>> * CAN'T BELIEVE THAT

WE'RE STILL SURVIVING *

>> IS THIS BECAUSE I DIDN'T TELL

YOU THAT I LOVED YOU?

'CAUSE...

>> NO. NO, I THINK YOU WERE

RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING.

I'M JUST -- I'M NOT READY.

I'M NOT.

I'M NOT READY TO BE IN A

RELATIONSHIP LIKE THIS.

IT'S TOO MUCH. I'M FREAKING OUT.

I WAS JUST GETTING MY SINGLE

LEGS AND...

>> NO. JASON, I DON'T --

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU.

I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.

REALLY?

I DON'T -- OH.

>> * IN TOO DEEP, CAN'T THINK

ABOUT GIVING IT UP *

>> HERE'S THE ANNULMENT PAPERS.

I ALREADY SIGNED MY NAME.

I JUST...NEED YOUR SIGNATURE.

>> * ...FEEL LIKE A HEART

ATTACK *

* OH, AND IT'S KILLING ME

>> I'LL LEAVE IT ON THE TABLE.

>> * IT'S KILLING ME

* SWEAR I NEVER CRIED SO MUCH

* I NEVER CRIED SO MUCH

* NEVER KNEW LOVE...

>> * WHOA-OH-OH-OH

>> * ...WOULD HURT THIS...BAD

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

* THE WORST PAIN THAT I EVER

HAD *

>> AND THIS IS GONNA MAKE YOU

FEEL SO MUCH BETTER.

MM.

>> WHAT'S IN THIS, BABY?

>> IT'S POOKIE'S LOVE.

>> REALLY?

>> MM-HMM. IT'S MY

GRANDMOTHER PEARL'S HOME REMEDY,

BUT, YOU KNOW...

>> OH, GRANDMA PEARL.

>> MM-HMM.

>> I LOVE ME SOME GRANDMA PEARL.

>> WELL, SHE LOVES YOU, TOO.

>> UH.

>> [ CLEARS THROAT ]

>> OOH, OOH, OOH.

WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE.

>> OKAY.

>> OKAY, SO, WE'RE JUST HOURS

AWAY FROM THE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME.

THE EARLY NEWS IS THAT SABER

STARTING QUARTERBACK

MALIK WRIGHT STILL HASN'T SHOWN

UP TO THE FIELD.

IS HE LOST?

IS HE KIDNAPPED?

IS HE DEAD?

WHO KNOWS?

ONE THING THAT WE KNOW FOR

CERTAIN IS THAT I BROUGHT THIS

CITY A CHAMPIONSHIP.

BOOM!

[ Laughing ] YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

>> [ SNIFFS ]

UGH.

YEAH, SHE LOVE ME ALL RIGHT.

>> [ CLEARS THROAT ]

[ CELLPHONE VIBRATING ]

>> * I'VE ASKED ABOUT YOU,

AND THEY'VE TOLD ME THINGS *

>> BABY, YOU COULD HAVE SENT A

CAR TO PICK ME UP.

TODAY IS THE BIG GAME.

>> WHAT? WOMAN, PLEASE.

THERE AIN'T NO WAY I WASN'T

GONNA BE HERE TO CELEBRATE YOUR

RELEASE FROM REHAB.

[ CHUCKLES ]

>> [ CHUCKLES ]

>> BESIDES, I'M GONNA NEED YOUR

FINE...CHEERING ME ON IN THE

SKYBOX TO VICTORY.

MWAH!

[ SHEEP BLEATING ]

[ CHUCKLES ]

>> I LOVE YOU.

>> I LOVE YOU BACK, MAMA.

[ SHEEP BLEATING ]

>> DO YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I LOVE?

>> WHAT THAT IS, BABY?

>> FREEDOM...

>> [ CHUCKLES ]

>> ...MM-HMM, THE TREES, AND THE

FLOWERS, AND FINALLY, THIS FRESH

AIR WHERE I CAN BREATHE AND

SMELL THIS --

[ SNIFFS ]

IS THAT SHEEP POO?

>> I THINK IT IS.

>> [ CHUCKLES ]

[ SHEEP BLEATING ]

[ CELLPHONE VIBRATING ]

>> WHO'S MARGOT?

>> HUH?

OH, JUST -- SHE A FRIEND, BABY.

SHE PROBABLY CALLING TO SEE IF

I'M GONNA MAKE IT BACK TO THE

GAME ON TIME.

YO, YOUR MAN'S PHONE'S BEEN

BLOWING UP ALL DAY.

IT'S KILLING ME.

[ CHUCKLES ]

>> [ CHUCKLES ]

YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO PICK ME UP.

>> I KNOW I DIDN'T HAVE TO PICK

YOU UP -- I WANTED TO PICK YOU

UP.

>> DO YOU PICK UP YOUR FRIEND,

TOO?

>> WHAT FRIEND? WHO?

WHAT -- MARGOT?

>> NO, YOU KNOW,

THE TOOTH FAIRY.

YES, MARGOT.

WHAT IS SHE -- YOUR NEW

GIRLFRIEND?

>> JENNA, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

I JUST DROVE OUT OF MY WAY TWO

HOURS THROUGH SOME BACKWOODS

HICK TOWN TO PICK YOU UP, SO

YOU'RE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING

IN MY LIFE.

CLEARLY, YOU'RE MORE IMPORTANT

THAN ME MAKING IT TO MY

CHAMPIONSHIP GAME ON TIME.

YOU'RE GONNA SIT UP HERE AND

QUESTION ME ABOUT SOME WHACK...

CHICK THAT I RAN THROUGH AFTER A

FASHION SHOW?

>> YOU HAD SEX WITH HER?

>> YEAH, AFTER YOU GAVE ME THE

GREEN LIGHT, OKAY?

WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THESE

SHEEP?!

[ HORN HONKS ]

>> SO THIS SIDE CHICK IS YOUR

GIRLFRIEND NOW?

>> [ SIGHS ]

NO, SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND.

>> DON'T LIE.

>> AIN'T NOBODY LYING TO YOU.

>> HOW MANY GIRLS HAVE YOU BEEN

WITH?

>> WHAT? I DON'T KNOW.

WHAT YOU MEAN -- LIKE, EVER?

>> NO, LIKE, SINCE I'VE BEEN IN

REHAB!

>> JENNA, MAYBE A -- A FEW,

OKAY?

I-I DON'T KNOW, ALL RIGHT?

WHY ARE YOU TRIPPING RIGHT NOW?

>> TRIPPING.

>> WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

YO, WHERE YOU GOING?

>> YOU'RE GONNA -- YOU'RE GONNA

SEE WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME.

YOU READY?

>> GIVE ME MY PHONE AND GET --

YOU JUST THREW MY PHONE ACROSS

THE STREET!

>> SO?

>> "SO"?

SO THAT'S MY DAMN PHONE, JENNA.

>> WHAT -- ARE THERE NAKED

PICTURES OF MARGOT IN IT?

>> YEAH, DUH.

>> DUH!

>> WHAT THE -- SEE, YOU KNOW

WHAT?

SEE, THAT'S HOW STUFF GET

STARTED.

DON'T BE PUTTING YOUR HANDS ON

NOBODY, WOMAN.

WHAT YOU DOING?

>> WHAT YOU GONNA START?

>> GIVE ME MY KEYS.

>> WHAT YOU GONNA START?

>> GIVE ME MY KEYS!

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH

YOU?!

>> MM. NOW, THAT'S TRIPPING.

>> WHY YOU GETTING BACK IN THE

CAR?

WE CAN'T GO NO-DAMN-WHERE.

>> 'CAUSE I WANT TO.

>> YOU'RE SMART.

YOU'RE VERY SMART.

YOU DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THAT, DID

YOU?

>> YO, WHAT UP, Y'ALL?

YOU KNOW WHO YOU REACHED.

AT THE BEEP, SAY SOMETHING.

[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]

>> HEY, BABY, MELANIE'S HERE.

>> TELL HER I'M ASLEEP.

>> SHE'S ASLEEP.

>> OH, MY GOD.

YOU LOOK AWFUL.

>> I'M SICK, DAMN IT.

>> WELL, IS YOUR FACE SICK, TOO?

I'M JUST SAYING -- YOU LOOK

REALLY, REALLY BAD.

>> I'M GONNA GO CHECK ON MALIK.

>> ALL RIGHT, KEEP CALLING HIM,

POOKIE.

>> ALL RIGHT.

>> [ SIGHS ]

SO, THE LATEST BETWEEN DERWIN

AND I --

>> NO, MELANIE.

NO, NOT TODAY, OKAY?

I GOT PROBLEMS OF MY OWN, ALL

RIGHT?

AND THERE AIN'T NO ROOM IN THERE

FOR NO MELANIE AND DERWIN MESS,

OKAY?

THAT'S ALL YOU EVER SEEM TO TALK

ABOUT ANYMORE.

THAT'S THE ONLY REASON WHY YOU

EVER COME OVER HERE.

AND I SWEAR, IF I HEAR ONE MORE

TIME ABOUT HOW AND YOU DERWIN

AIN'T SEEING EYE TO EYE, I HOPE

THIS NEXT COUGH I GOT HAS A GUN

IN IT SO I CAN JUST SHOOT

YOUR...

>> SO, DERWIN TOLD ME NOT TO

BOTHER COMING TO THE GAME

BECAUSE I'M LEAVING RIGHT AFTER

FOR D.C.

>> WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU CHOOSE

THE DAY OF THE CHAMPIONSHIP TO

LEAVE TOWN?

IT'S A NATIONAL HOLIDAY,

MELANIE.

>> TASHA, I'M A DOCTOR.

>> OKAY, SO WHAT THE HELL I GOT?

>> LOOK, THE POINT THAT I'M

TRYING TO SAY IS, IS THAT

DOCTORS AREN'T SOME

MONDAY-THROUGH-FRIDAY,

9:00-TO-5:00.

IT'S SO MUCH BIGGER THAN THAT.

>> MM.

>> I MEAN, I AM THE BRINGER OF

LIFE.

I'M NOT SAYING THAT I'M GOD OR

ANYTHING, BUT IF HE WAS TO HAVE

A DAUGHTER, IT WOULD BE THIS

GIRL.

>> [ LAUGHS ]

GIRL, SHUT YOUR STUPID...UP,

OKAY?

LOOK, THE ONLY THING THAT YOU

NEED TO BE RIGHT NOW IS

DERWIN DAVIS' WIFE, OKAY?

AND STOP BRINGING TROUBLE INTO

YOUR DAMN RELATIONSHIP.

COME ON, MEL.

THAT'S FOOTBALL WIVES 101,

ESPECIALLY ON GAME DAY.

>> WELL, EVERYTHING IS ABOUT THE

GAME.

>> YEAH, WHEN YOU MESSING WITH

MY MONEY, IT IS.

SHOOT!

>> WELL, WHAT ABOUT MY LIFE?

SHOOT!

>> I SHOULD HAVE JUST HAD THAT

DAMN BABY OF YOURS, MM-HMM, SO

YOU COULD JUST SHUT THE HELL UP.

>> OH, MY GOD.

WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK THAT

THIS BABY IS THE CURE-ALL, HUH?

>> MNH-MNH.

>> OF COURSE I WANT TO HAVE A

BABY, BUT I ALSO WANT TO HAVE A

HUSBAND AND I WANT TO HAVE A

CAREER.

I WANT IT ALL, TASHA, AND I JUST

NEED A LITTLE HELP GETTING

THERE.

I NEED MY SUNBEAMS.

>> GIRL, THEM LAZY TRICKS AIN'T

GONNA HELP YOU.

>> I MEANT MY VERSION OF

THE SUNBEAMS, MY SUPPORT GROUP.

>> MELANIE, THE ONLY THING YOU

NEED IS TO GET YOUR...TO THE

GAME, OKAY?

NOW, I DON'T KNOW WHY THE HELL

YOU WANT TO HAVE KIDS, ANYWAY.

ALL THEY GONNA DO IS JUST SEND

YOUR...CRAZY.

"WMD." WHAT MALIK DOING?

>> OHH.

>> WHAT THE HELL IS MALIK DOING?

>> [ SIGHS ]

>> DOES ANYBODY REMEMBER THAT

IGNORANT SLOGAN MALIK HAD

EARLIER IN THE SEASON -- "WMD,"

"WHAT MALIK DOING"?

OKAY, IF ANYBODY KNOWS THE

ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION RIGHT

NOW, PLEASE CALL THE NUMBER ON

THE BOTTOM OF THE SCREEN.

SERIOUSLY, CALL THE NUMBER.

IT'S TOLL-FREE -- OR MAYBE IT'S

NOT TOLL-FREE -- WHATEVER.

IT DOESN'T MATTER.

JUST CALL, SERIOUSLY.

NOW, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE ALL

THINKING -- "FOOTBALL'S A TEAM

SPORT.

HOW CAN I IDENTIFY MYSELF?"

>> HEY, OVER HERE.

HEY, YEAH, I'VE BEEN WAITING ON

A DRINK FOR LIKE FIVE MINUTES

NOW.

>> SIR, I'M GONNA BE WITH YOU IN

A SECOND, OKAY?

>> YEAH, HOW ABOUT YOU BE WITH

ME RIGHT NOW?

>> SIR, I NEED A SECOND.

>> MA'AM, I NEED A DRINK, OKAY?

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT -- WHY DON'T

I FIND YOUR MANAGER AND MAYBE HE

CAN LIGHT A FIRE UNDER THAT

BOOTY OF YOURS?

HOW ABOUT THAT?

>> EXCUSE ME?

YOU DON'T KNOW CHARDONNAY LIKE

THAT.

YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR MOUTH.

>> YOU DON'T KNOW ME.

>> WHAT'S GOING ON?

>> CHUCK.

>> LISTEN, CHUCK, YOUR -- YOUR

BARTENDER HERE -- SHE'S REFUSING

MY SERVICE, AND ON TOP OF THAT,

SHE'S BEING RUDE.

SHE'S GIVING ME THE -- THE WAGGY

SISTER FINGER ACT, THE WHOLE --

THE WHOLE...

>> YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT WHAT

HAPPENED, SIR.

WHY YOU LYING?

HE'S LYING, CHUCK.

HE WAS TALKING ABOUT MY BOOTY.

>> YOU THINK EVERYBODY'S TALKING

ABOUT YOUR BOOTY.

LISTEN, I'M SORRY.

I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE.

IT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME -- DAMN

SURE WON'T BE THE LAST TIME.

I NEED YOU TO GO.

YOU'RE OUT.

>> WHAT?!

>> CLEAR YOUR LOCKER...NOW.

>> FINE, FINE, FINE!

FINE.

YOU WANT...

[ GLASS SHATTERING ]

>> * MONEY BE THE TOPIC

>> [ SINGING INDISTINCTLY ]

>> OOP.

>> ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

>> [ SIGHS ]

I'M SORRY.

DRINKS ON THE HOUSE. ALL RIGHT?

>> HEY, TASHA, ARE YOU READY?

>> ALL RIGHT, HERE I COME.

>> OKAY.

>> OHH.

HEY.

HOW DO I LOOK, BABY?

>> OH, MY GOD.

UM. OH, MY GOD, BABY, YOU KNOW,

YOU -- YOU LOOK FLY.

>> ARE YOU SURE?

'CAUSE I WAS -- I WASN'T SURE.

>> YOU KNOW, YOU LOOK BETTER

THAN YOU EVER LOOKED.

YOU EVEN LOOK BETTER THAN WHEN

YOU WERE WEARING THAT ONE-PIECE

SWIMSUIT IN THE

WRECKX-N-EFFECT'S VIDEO.

>> BETTER THAN THAT

"RUMP SHAKER" SUIT?

>> MM-HMM.

>> POOKIE, YOU'RE MESSING WITH

ME, AIN'T YOU?

>> NO, NO.

>> YES, YOU IS.

>> NO, BABY.

>> WHAT?

>> BUT YOU ARE CONTAGIOUS, OKAY?

SO I THINK, JUST FOR THAT SIMPLE

REASON ALONE, THAT YOU SHOULD

PROBABLY SIT THIS ONE OUT.

>> WHAT? I CAN'T.

I-I GOT TO GO TO THE GAME.

I GOT TO FIND MALIK.

>> I ALREADY TOLD YOU I'LL PUT

THE WORD OUT ON THE STREET,

OKAY?

NOW, COME ON.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO RELAX?

>> HOW AM I GONNA RELAX, HUH?

AND I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS.

I MEAN, HE COULD BE LAYING UP IN

A DITCH SOMEWHERE.

HE COULD BE HELD UP AT A

CRACK HOUSE.

HELL, HE COULD BE LOST AT

WALMART.

>> I HOPE IT AIN'T WALMART.

HEY, OKAY.

OKAY. IT'S OKAY.

YOU KNOW, IT WAS JUST A LITTLE

THROW-UP, OKAY?

JUST A LITTLE THROW-UP, ALL

RIGHT?

NOTHING TO BE EMBARRASSED ABOUT.

YOU KNOW, I BEEN TO THE PEN,

BABY.

I'VE SEEN EVERYTHING, OKAY?

MNH. NOW, THAT'S NEW.

>> DON'T JUDGE ME.

>> OKAY, I'M NOT GONNA.

>> DON'T JUDGE ME.

OHH, OHH, OHH!

OHH! OHH!

>> DAMN!

>> SO IF YOU CAN PLEASE JUST

SEND YOUR "MALIK WRIGHT,

IN MEMORY OF" GIFTS TO THE

ADDRESS ON OUR WEBSITE...

BECAUSE AT THIS POINT, IF HE'S

NOT DEAD, I'M -- I'M GONNA KILL

HIM.

>> SEE, I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD

WRITE THE PART ABOUT YOU'RE

DOING THIS TO SAVE YOUR

MARRIAGE.

>> EXCUSE ME?

>> YEAH, SEE, I'D SAY SOMETHING

MORE LIKE, "IF I DON'T GO TO

WASHINGTON, I'M AFRAID I'LL

RESENT YOU FOR THE REST OF MY

LIFE."

>> UM, THANK YOU, BUT I GOT

THIS.

>> I JUST READ THAT E-MAIL,

SWEETIE.

YOU ABSOLUTELY DON'T GOT THIS.

>> WHY AREN'T YOU AT THE GAME?

>> WOULD YOU MIND YOUR DAMN

BUSINESS?

>> * YOU HATE BEING ALONE

* YOU AIN'T THE ONLY ONE

* THE ONLY ONE

* YOU HATE THE FACT THAT...

>> DAMN IT, THE GAME STARTS IN

TWO FREAKIN' HOURS!

>> WELL, YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT

ABOUT THAT BEFORE YOU BETRAYED

ME.

>> DAMN IT, JENNA, PLEASE!

>> WHAT -- ARE YOU GONNA SAY,

"THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU

DATE AN ATHLETE"?

>> NO. I'M GONNA TELL YOU TO

SHUT THE HELL UP OR HELP ME FIND

MY DAMN KEYS, PREFERABLY BOTH,

BUT IF I GOT TO CHOOSE, I'LL

TAKE ONE OR THE FREAKING OTHER.

>> SHUT UP.

>> YOU SHUT UP.

>> FOUND THEM.

>> THANK GOD.

>> OH, DON'T THANK HIM YET.

>> WHAT? YO, GIVE ME MY KEYS.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

>> WHY? SO YOU CAN GO RUN OFF

WITH PARKER OR MARGOT OR ONE

OF THOSE SHEEP?

[ SIREN CHIRPS ]

I SAW HOW YOU WERE LOOKING AT

THEM.

BAAA!

GET OFF OF ME!

>> WOMAN, GIVE ME MY KEYS BEFORE

I KILL YOU!

>> GET YOUR HANDS OFF HER!

>> GET OFF OF ME!

>> COME ON WITH US.

>> YO, THIS IS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS

LIKE.

>> SHUT THE HELL UP!

>> MAN, IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS

LIKE!

>> OFFICERS, THIS IS A

MISUNDERSTANDING.

HE IS AN...BUT THIS IS A

MISUNDERSTANDING.

[ HANDCUFFS CLICK ]

>> * ...BY SOMEONE ELSE

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