All language subtitles for The Game s05e20 Cold Swine Sucks.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:04,100 [ SHOWER RUNNING ] 2 00:00:04,100 --> 00:00:05,930 >> * POOKIE 3 00:00:05,933 --> 00:00:07,873 * POOKIE, POOKIE, POO 4 00:00:07,867 --> 00:00:09,967 >> [ LAUGHS ] 5 00:00:09,967 --> 00:00:11,797 HEY. 6 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:14,800 UM, MR. ANDREA BOCELLI, 7 00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:15,970 BREAKFAST IS HERE. 8 00:00:15,967 --> 00:00:18,167 YOU KNOW I HATE COLD SLIME. 9 00:00:18,167 --> 00:00:19,397 >> I'LL BE THERE IN A SEC. 10 00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:20,600 >> MM-HMM. 11 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:24,870 >> * POOKIE, POOKIE 12 00:00:24,867 --> 00:00:25,767 * POOKIE 13 00:00:25,767 --> 00:00:27,327 [ CELLPHONE RINGS ] 14 00:00:27,333 --> 00:00:28,003 >> POOKIE, THE PHONE! 15 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:30,000 >> * YOU MAKE THE DOVES CRY 16 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:30,970 [ RINGING CONTINUES ] 17 00:00:30,967 --> 00:00:33,567 * THAT'S 'CAUSE YOU'RE A LOVER, 18 00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:37,597 AND LOVER COULDN'T CRY, POOKIE * 19 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:41,900 * OH, SWEET, SWEET POOKIE 20 00:00:41,900 --> 00:00:46,200 * FROM MY HAIR, FROM MY FEET 21 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:46,870 >> OH. 22 00:00:46,867 --> 00:00:55,767 >> * I AM POOKIE 23 00:01:04,700 --> 00:01:05,630 >> OH! 24 00:01:05,633 --> 00:01:06,533 >> GUESS WHO'S HOME. 25 00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:09,703 >> UH, TIFFANY, RAMONA, SIDNEY? 26 00:01:09,700 --> 00:01:10,430 [ LAUGHS ] 27 00:01:10,433 --> 00:01:11,073 HOW WAS YOUR TRIP? 28 00:01:11,067 --> 00:01:12,667 >> WAIT. BEFORE YOU GET INTO 29 00:01:12,667 --> 00:01:13,797 THAT, I HAVE A LITTLE SURPRISE 30 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:14,300 FOR YOU. 31 00:01:14,300 --> 00:01:15,430 I BROUGHT BACK A SOUVENIR FROM 32 00:01:15,433 --> 00:01:15,903 D.C. 33 00:01:15,900 --> 00:01:17,070 >> IS IT SIDNEY? 34 00:01:17,067 --> 00:01:18,667 [ RAGGED BREATHING ] 35 00:01:18,667 --> 00:01:20,227 >> CLOSE. NOW JUST CLOSE YOUR 36 00:01:20,233 --> 00:01:24,603 EYES AND WAIT RIGHT THERE, OKAY? 37 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,070 I'M HUNGRY. 38 00:01:26,067 --> 00:01:28,227 BROTHER HUNGRY. 39 00:01:28,233 --> 00:01:30,073 >> [ LAUGHS ] 40 00:01:30,067 --> 00:01:32,497 OKAY. NOW OPEN THEM. 41 00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:34,300 >> OH! OH! 42 00:01:34,300 --> 00:01:35,270 [ Garbled ] THAT'S FREE FROM 43 00:01:35,267 --> 00:01:36,067 "106 & PARK"! 44 00:01:36,067 --> 00:01:36,767 >> YEAH. 45 00:01:36,767 --> 00:01:37,867 >> OH, MY GOD. HI. 46 00:01:37,867 --> 00:01:38,627 >> HI, DERWIN. 47 00:01:38,633 --> 00:01:39,703 NICE TO MEET YOU. 48 00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:40,530 I'M A BIG FAN. 49 00:01:40,533 --> 00:01:41,573 >> NICE TO MEET YOU, FREE. 50 00:01:41,567 --> 00:01:42,797 I'M A BIG FAN OF YOU. 51 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:43,830 >> YEAH, DO YOU REMEMBER -- BACK 52 00:01:43,833 --> 00:01:44,673 IN COLLEGE, YOU USED TO LOVE 53 00:01:44,667 --> 00:01:45,097 HER? 54 00:01:45,100 --> 00:01:46,100 YOU WOULDN'T TAKE CLASSES 55 00:01:46,100 --> 00:01:47,070 BETWEEN 3:00 AND 4:00. 56 00:01:47,067 --> 00:01:49,267 >> MELANIE, "106 & PARK" WAS ON 57 00:01:49,267 --> 00:01:50,697 6:00 TO 7:30. 58 00:01:50,700 --> 00:01:51,670 >> DO YOU WANT SOME OF MY 59 00:01:51,667 --> 00:01:52,127 SANDWICH? 60 00:01:52,133 --> 00:01:53,203 LIKE, IT'S TURKEY AND CHEESE 61 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:54,230 WITH SOME LETTUCE ON THERE. 62 00:01:54,233 --> 00:01:55,303 >> NO, JUST SOME WATER. 63 00:01:55,300 --> 00:01:56,070 THANK YOU. 64 00:01:56,067 --> 00:01:56,967 >> OKAY. 65 00:01:56,967 --> 00:01:57,967 [ LAUGHS ] 66 00:01:57,967 --> 00:01:59,367 THAT'S FREE RIGHT THERE. 67 00:01:59,367 --> 00:02:00,927 THAT'S FREE. THAT'S WHAT'S UP. 68 00:02:00,933 --> 00:02:01,803 >> RIGHT? 69 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:03,530 >> BUT YOU AIN'T SLICK, NOT EVEN 70 00:02:03,533 --> 00:02:06,203 A LITTLE BIT. 71 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:07,500 I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO. 72 00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:08,770 YOU'RE TRYING TO BUTTER ME UP BY 73 00:02:08,767 --> 00:02:10,067 BRINGING FREE HERE TO GET ME TO 74 00:02:10,067 --> 00:02:10,527 GO TO D.C. 75 00:02:10,532 --> 00:02:11,602 >> [ SIGHS ] OKAY. 76 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:12,170 >> YEAH. 77 00:02:12,167 --> 00:02:13,067 >> GUILTY. 78 00:02:13,067 --> 00:02:15,267 BUT NONE OF THIS MATTERS, OKAY? 79 00:02:15,267 --> 00:02:17,427 I GOT A CALL FROM JOHNS HOPKINS, 80 00:02:17,433 --> 00:02:18,603 AND THE INTERVIEW WENT GREAT. 81 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:19,770 SO MY DAD -- HE PULLED A FEW 82 00:02:19,767 --> 00:02:20,927 STRINGS, AND THERE IS EVEN A 83 00:02:20,933 --> 00:02:22,473 RESEARCH POSITION AVAILABLE. 84 00:02:22,467 --> 00:02:25,927 AND IN THE EVENT THAT THIS WHOLE 85 00:02:25,933 --> 00:02:28,173 PLAN WORKED, I TOOK THE LIBERTY 86 00:02:28,167 --> 00:02:29,497 OF PRINTING OUT SOME STATS OF 87 00:02:29,500 --> 00:02:30,970 WASHINGTON'S FOOTBALL TEAM, 88 00:02:30,967 --> 00:02:32,567 WHICH, BY THE WAY, WOULD BE A 89 00:02:32,567 --> 00:02:33,727 GREAT FIT FOR YOU. 90 00:02:33,733 --> 00:02:34,633 >> OH, YEAH? SAYS WHO? 91 00:02:34,633 --> 00:02:35,573 >> SAYS FREE. 92 00:02:35,567 --> 00:02:36,827 TELL HIM, FREE. 93 00:02:36,867 --> 00:02:38,067 >> THE WASHINGTON FOOTBALL TEAM 94 00:02:38,067 --> 00:02:38,867 IS GREAT. 95 00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:41,067 WHERE'S MY WATER? 96 00:02:41,067 --> 00:02:41,767 >> COMING. 97 00:02:41,767 --> 00:02:43,967 THANK YOU, FREE. 98 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:47,333 >> OH, DAMN, BABE. 99 00:02:48,067 --> 00:02:49,527 YOU ATE BREAKFAST WITHOUT ME? 100 00:02:49,533 --> 00:02:51,303 >> I TOLD YOU I DON'T EAT COLD 101 00:02:51,300 --> 00:02:53,500 PIG, PIG. 102 00:02:53,500 --> 00:02:56,170 >> EXCUSE ME? 103 00:02:56,167 --> 00:02:57,667 >> WHO THE HELL IS SHEIDA? 104 00:02:57,667 --> 00:02:58,927 >> [ Laughing ] OKAY, YOU BEEN 105 00:02:58,933 --> 00:03:00,403 SNOOPING THROUGH MY PHONE, HUH? 106 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,770 >> NO, ACTUALLY, YOUR PHONE FELL 107 00:03:02,767 --> 00:03:04,827 ON THE FLOOR AFTER MY ELBOW JUST 108 00:03:04,833 --> 00:03:06,833 ACCIDENTALLY KNOCKED INTO IT. 109 00:03:06,833 --> 00:03:08,203 AND WHEN I WENT TO PICK IT UP, I 110 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:09,770 JUST ACCIDENTALLY HAPPENED TO 111 00:03:09,767 --> 00:03:11,167 SEE THAT THERE WERE SIX TEXT 112 00:03:11,167 --> 00:03:12,667 MESSAGES FROM SOME [BLEEP] NAMED 113 00:03:12,667 --> 00:03:13,097 SHEIDA. 114 00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:14,700 >> AND I GUESS YOUR FINGERS JUST 115 00:03:14,700 --> 00:03:16,770 ACCIDENTALLY UNLOCKED THE PHONE. 116 00:03:16,767 --> 00:03:17,697 >> THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT, 117 00:03:17,700 --> 00:03:18,070 OKAY? 118 00:03:18,067 --> 00:03:19,067 THE POINT IS, WHO THE HELL IS 119 00:03:19,067 --> 00:03:19,567 SHEIDA? 120 00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:22,267 >> RESHEIDA IS A LOVELY YOUNG 121 00:03:22,267 --> 00:03:23,867 LADY THAT I USED TO CASUALLY 122 00:03:23,867 --> 00:03:25,197 ENTERTAIN BEFORE YOU AND I 123 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:26,070 BECAME AN ITEM. 124 00:03:26,067 --> 00:03:27,827 >> OKAY. AND WHY DIDN'T I KNOW 125 00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:29,773 ANYTHING ABOUT THIS CASUAL FORM 126 00:03:29,767 --> 00:03:30,627 OF ENTERTAINMENT? 127 00:03:30,633 --> 00:03:32,073 >> BECAUSE SHE IS A NONFACTOR. 128 00:03:32,067 --> 00:03:33,097 I DIDN'T WANT TO BE IN A 129 00:03:33,100 --> 00:03:33,900 RELATIONSHIP. 130 00:03:33,900 --> 00:03:35,070 AND IT'S REALLY NONE OF YOUR 131 00:03:35,067 --> 00:03:35,427 CONCERN. 132 00:03:35,433 --> 00:03:36,433 >> OKAY, WELL, APPARENTLY 133 00:03:36,433 --> 00:03:37,103 SHE AIN'T SUCH A 134 00:03:37,100 --> 00:03:38,270 NON-MOTHER FREAKING-FACTOR IF 135 00:03:38,267 --> 00:03:39,327 THE TRICK IS STILL TEXTING, 136 00:03:39,333 --> 00:03:45,373 TALKING ABOUT SHE LOVE YOU. 137 00:03:45,367 --> 00:03:47,197 HELLO? 138 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:48,630 >> BABY, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, 139 00:03:48,633 --> 00:03:49,133 ALL RIGHT? 140 00:03:49,133 --> 00:03:49,703 LEAVE IT ALONE. 141 00:03:49,700 --> 00:03:50,600 I'LL HANDLE IT, OKAY? 142 00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:51,530 >> AND WHAT IF I SAY, "NO, I 143 00:03:51,533 --> 00:03:52,533 DON'T WANT TO LEAVE IT ALONE"? 144 00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:53,703 THEN WHAT? 145 00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:55,270 [ SILVERWARE CLINKS ] 146 00:03:55,267 --> 00:03:56,527 >> THEN I AM GONNA HAVE TO 147 00:03:56,533 --> 00:03:58,503 REMIND YOU HOW I USED TO MAKE 148 00:03:58,500 --> 00:03:59,870 PEOPLE DISAPPEAR FOR A LIVING. 149 00:03:59,867 --> 00:04:00,467 >> [ LAUGHS ] 150 00:04:00,467 --> 00:04:01,067 >> [ LAUGHS ] 151 00:04:01,067 --> 00:04:01,727 >> OH, REALLY? 152 00:04:01,733 --> 00:04:02,573 >> THAT'S RIGHT. 153 00:04:02,567 --> 00:04:03,097 >> OKAY. 154 00:04:03,100 --> 00:04:04,200 OH, SO, OHH, I'M SCARED. 155 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:05,270 OKAY, THAT'S A THREAT? 156 00:04:05,267 --> 00:04:06,797 OKAY, 'CAUSE YOU KNOW THREATS 157 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:08,070 ARE RESERVED FOR THE BEDROOM. 158 00:04:08,067 --> 00:04:08,597 >> MM-HMM. 159 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:09,800 >> AND SINCE WE AIN'T HAD SEX 160 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:10,930 YET, YOU NEED TO SAVE THAT 161 00:04:10,933 --> 00:04:12,133 MURDER TALK FOR SOMEONE WHO 162 00:04:12,133 --> 00:04:13,433 ACTUALLY GIVES A DAMN, LIKE 163 00:04:13,433 --> 00:04:14,973 RESHEIDA. 164 00:04:14,967 --> 00:04:16,427 [ CLATTERS ] 165 00:04:18,067 --> 00:04:18,927 >> IT'S A FACT. 166 00:04:18,933 --> 00:04:19,503 >> NO, IT -- 167 00:04:19,500 --> 00:04:20,530 >> NO, THAT'S A REAL THING. 168 00:04:20,533 --> 00:04:21,473 >> IT IS A REAL THING. 169 00:04:21,466 --> 00:04:22,696 >> THAT'S GONNA HAPPEN WHEN YOU 170 00:04:22,700 --> 00:04:23,530 PUT IT IN YOUR FACE. 171 00:04:23,533 --> 00:04:24,073 HEY, HEY! 172 00:04:24,067 --> 00:04:24,867 MELANIE! 173 00:04:24,867 --> 00:04:25,467 >> YES? 174 00:04:25,467 --> 00:04:27,627 >> HOW ARE YOU, DOLL FACE? MWAH! 175 00:04:27,633 --> 00:04:28,973 WHAT AM I DOING -- WAKING YOU UP 176 00:04:28,967 --> 00:04:30,227 FROM A LITTLE AFTERNOON BEAUTY 177 00:04:30,233 --> 00:04:30,833 REST, HUH? 178 00:04:30,833 --> 00:04:31,503 >> OH, GOD. 179 00:04:31,500 --> 00:04:32,730 I MUST STILL BE JET-LAGGED FROM 180 00:04:32,733 --> 00:04:33,433 D.C. 181 00:04:33,433 --> 00:04:35,303 >> OH, GOD, WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE 182 00:04:35,300 --> 00:04:37,500 TO LAY UP WITH NO JOB, KNOWING 183 00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:38,970 A RICH, STRAPPING ATHLETE WAS 184 00:04:38,967 --> 00:04:39,897 TAKING CARE OF MY EVERY NEED, 185 00:04:39,900 --> 00:04:40,430 HUH? 186 00:04:40,433 --> 00:04:42,073 MNH! WHERE WAS I WHEN GOD WAS 187 00:04:42,067 --> 00:04:43,197 PASSING OUT VAGINAS, HUH? 188 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:44,570 WHOO! SO, WHAT WAS SO PRESSING 189 00:04:44,567 --> 00:04:46,067 THAT THE TWO OF YOU HAD TO DRAG 190 00:04:46,067 --> 00:04:47,197 ME OUT OF MY -- AGAH! -- 191 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:48,230 KRAV MAGA LESSON? 192 00:04:48,233 --> 00:04:48,803 >> OH. 193 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:49,430 >> HERE. WATCH THIS. 194 00:04:49,433 --> 00:04:50,173 DERWIN, PUT YOUR HAND RIGHT ON 195 00:04:50,167 --> 00:04:50,627 MY SHOULDER. 196 00:04:50,633 --> 00:04:51,373 I'M GONNA SHOW YOU WHAT'S UP. 197 00:04:51,367 --> 00:04:52,127 PUT YOUR HAND ON MY SHOULDER AND 198 00:04:52,133 --> 00:04:52,903 WATCH -- LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT I 199 00:04:52,900 --> 00:04:53,400 LEARNED. 200 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:53,900 COME ON. 201 00:04:53,900 --> 00:04:54,830 NOW, JUST BE READY. 202 00:04:54,833 --> 00:04:55,673 [ BREATHES DEEPLY ] 203 00:04:55,667 --> 00:04:57,697 BE READY. 204 00:04:57,700 --> 00:04:59,070 KRAV MAGA! 205 00:04:59,067 --> 00:05:00,327 CLOSER. 206 00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:00,933 KRAV MAGA! 207 00:05:00,933 --> 00:05:02,103 OHH! AAH! 208 00:05:02,100 --> 00:05:02,830 [ COUGHS ] 209 00:05:02,833 --> 00:05:03,433 >> YOU ALL RIGHT? 210 00:05:03,433 --> 00:05:04,133 >> YEAH, NO, I'M GOOD. 211 00:05:04,133 --> 00:05:05,133 NO, WE WERE JUST GETTING TO THAT 212 00:05:05,133 --> 00:05:05,933 PART WHEN I -- WHEN YOU GUYS 213 00:05:05,933 --> 00:05:06,333 CALLED. 214 00:05:06,333 --> 00:05:07,073 THAT WAS REALLY GOOD. 215 00:05:07,067 --> 00:05:08,767 >> NO, I JUST -- IT'S A REFLEX. 216 00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:09,527 >> THAT'S GOOD. 217 00:05:09,533 --> 00:05:10,303 >> LOOK, LOOK, LOOK. 218 00:05:10,300 --> 00:05:11,230 THE REASON WHY WE CALLED YOU 219 00:05:11,233 --> 00:05:12,733 OVER HERE, MAN... 220 00:05:12,733 --> 00:05:13,873 [ SIGHS ] 221 00:05:13,867 --> 00:05:15,427 ...IS BECAUSE WE HAVE SOME BAD 222 00:05:15,433 --> 00:05:16,973 NEWS. 223 00:05:16,967 --> 00:05:17,827 I THINK WE'RE DONE. 224 00:05:17,833 --> 00:05:18,673 >> I KNEW IT. YES! 225 00:05:18,667 --> 00:05:19,897 I WAS TELLING MY ASSISTANT ON 226 00:05:19,900 --> 00:05:20,930 THE WAY OVER -- "THEY'RE DONE. 227 00:05:20,933 --> 00:05:21,433 THEY'RE DONE." 228 00:05:21,433 --> 00:05:22,203 I MEAN, LET'S BE HONEST -- THE 229 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:23,270 ODDS WERE STACKED AGAINST YOU 230 00:05:23,267 --> 00:05:23,967 GUYS FROM THE BEGINNING -- 231 00:05:23,967 --> 00:05:24,467 AM I RIGHT? 232 00:05:24,467 --> 00:05:25,427 >> WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING 233 00:05:25,433 --> 00:05:25,903 ABOUT, MAN? 234 00:05:25,900 --> 00:05:26,770 NO, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE 235 00:05:26,767 --> 00:05:28,367 SABERS. 236 00:05:28,367 --> 00:05:29,297 >> SO, WAIT A MINUTE. 237 00:05:29,300 --> 00:05:30,300 YOU'RE NOT GETTING DIVORCED? 238 00:05:30,300 --> 00:05:31,230 >> NO. 239 00:05:31,233 --> 00:05:31,833 >> [ SIGHS ] 240 00:05:31,833 --> 00:05:32,403 >> I KNEW IT! 241 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:33,600 I KNEW YOU GUYS WERE GONNA MAKE 242 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:34,630 IT 'CAUSE YOU'RE A STRONG, 243 00:05:34,633 --> 00:05:35,633 BEAUTIFUL BLACK COUPLE -- 244 00:05:35,633 --> 00:05:36,333 >> WATCH YOURSELF. 245 00:05:36,333 --> 00:05:36,903 >> I'M BLACK. 246 00:05:36,900 --> 00:05:38,430 >> OKAY, LISTEN, WE ALL KNOW 247 00:05:38,433 --> 00:05:39,673 THAT, THIS SEASON, I WAS 248 00:05:39,667 --> 00:05:40,727 UNDERPAID AND UNDERUTILIZED. 249 00:05:40,733 --> 00:05:41,673 >> AND NOT TO MENTION 250 00:05:41,667 --> 00:05:42,327 UNDERAPPRECIATED. 251 00:05:42,333 --> 00:05:43,133 >> YEAH, AND THAT WHOLE 252 00:05:43,133 --> 00:05:44,473 KWAN KIRKLAND THING, MAN, REALLY 253 00:05:44,467 --> 00:05:45,667 LEFT A BAD TASTE IN MY MOUTH. 254 00:05:45,667 --> 00:05:46,127 >> MM-HMM. 255 00:05:46,133 --> 00:05:47,233 >> SO, WITH THAT BEING SAID, ME 256 00:05:47,233 --> 00:05:48,273 AND MEL WAS THINKING, WITH MY 257 00:05:48,267 --> 00:05:49,397 CONTRACT RUNNING OUT, THAT MAYBE 258 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:50,330 WE COULD EXPLORE SOME OTHER 259 00:05:50,333 --> 00:05:50,773 OPTIONS. 260 00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:51,867 >> AND BY "OTHER OPTIONS," WE 261 00:05:51,867 --> 00:05:52,367 MEAN "D.C." 262 00:05:52,367 --> 00:05:52,867 >> YEAH. 263 00:05:52,867 --> 00:05:54,097 >> IT'S SETTLED -- THE SABERS 264 00:05:54,100 --> 00:05:55,430 CAN GO TO HELL, 'CAUSE I'LL BE 265 00:05:55,433 --> 00:05:56,673 DAMNED IF MY CLIENT FEELS 266 00:05:56,667 --> 00:05:58,567 UNAPPRECIATED OR UNDERPAID. 267 00:05:58,567 --> 00:05:59,367 >> THAT'S WHAT'S UP, MAN. 268 00:05:59,367 --> 00:06:00,097 >> THAT'S WHAT'S UP. 269 00:06:00,100 --> 00:06:00,730 >> THANKS, IRV. 270 00:06:00,733 --> 00:06:01,633 >> NO SWEAT. OF COURSE. 271 00:06:01,633 --> 00:06:03,073 AND BY THE WAY, IF YOU GUYS DO 272 00:06:03,067 --> 00:06:04,367 DECIDE TO RECONSIDER THE WHOLE 273 00:06:04,367 --> 00:06:05,627 DIVORCE THING, MY LAWYER HAS 274 00:06:05,633 --> 00:06:06,733 SOME GREAT RATES AND HE CAN 275 00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:07,833 PROBABLY THROW IN A FEW FREE 276 00:06:07,833 --> 00:06:09,073 BROADWAY TICKETS AS PART OF THE 277 00:06:09,067 --> 00:06:10,067 WHOLE INCENTIVE PACKAGE. 278 00:06:10,067 --> 00:06:10,497 >> BYE, IRV. 279 00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:11,870 >> ALL RIGHT, GUYS, I LOVE YOU. 280 00:06:12,833 --> 00:06:14,403 >> AND FROM HERE, WE WILL COME 281 00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:16,130 UP AND INTO OUR "DOWNWARD-FACING 282 00:06:16,133 --> 00:06:16,903 DOG" POSITION. 283 00:06:16,900 --> 00:06:17,970 >> [ BREATHES SHARPLY ] 284 00:06:17,967 --> 00:06:19,367 >> TAKE A DOG TO DO A 285 00:06:19,367 --> 00:06:20,627 "DOWNWARD-DOG" POSITION. 286 00:06:20,633 --> 00:06:21,973 >> OH, YOU ARE NOT GONNA START 287 00:06:21,967 --> 00:06:22,527 THIS RIGHT NOW. 288 00:06:22,533 --> 00:06:22,933 >> MNH. 289 00:06:22,933 --> 00:06:23,803 >> NOT WHILE I'M TRYING TO GET 290 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:24,530 MY YOGA IN. 291 00:06:24,533 --> 00:06:26,203 >> OKAY. LOOK, DON'T START NO 292 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:27,500 ISH, WON'T BE NO ISH. 293 00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:29,700 >> [ GROANS ] 294 00:06:29,700 --> 00:06:31,070 NAMASTE. 295 00:06:31,067 --> 00:06:33,367 >> YOU NAMASTE. 296 00:06:33,367 --> 00:06:34,367 >> YOU KNOW, IF YOU DON'T TAKE 297 00:06:34,367 --> 00:06:35,327 THIS SERIOUS, I'M GONNA JUST 298 00:06:35,333 --> 00:06:36,233 TAKE IT IN THE BEDROOM AND 299 00:06:36,233 --> 00:06:36,673 PRACTICE. 300 00:06:36,667 --> 00:06:39,397 >> BYE. 301 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:42,070 I DON'T NEED NO DVD TO STRETCH. 302 00:06:42,067 --> 00:06:43,067 [ TELEVISION TURNS OFF ] 303 00:06:43,067 --> 00:06:45,797 I CAN YOGA BY MY DAMN SELF. 304 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:47,070 [ DOOR CLOSES ] 305 00:06:47,067 --> 00:06:49,067 [ CELLPHONE VIBRATING ] 306 00:07:00,933 --> 00:07:02,473 HELLO. 307 00:07:02,467 --> 00:07:03,867 LOOK, DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT WHO 308 00:07:03,867 --> 00:07:04,227 THIS IS. 309 00:07:04,233 --> 00:07:06,103 WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? 310 00:07:06,100 --> 00:07:07,270 LOOK, WHY THE HELL YOU KEEP 311 00:07:07,267 --> 00:07:09,297 CALLING MY MAN? 312 00:07:09,300 --> 00:07:10,700 SAY WHAT? 313 00:07:10,700 --> 00:07:12,070 Y'ALL LIVE TOGETHER? 314 00:07:12,067 --> 00:07:13,627 YEAH, BUT HE IN MY BEDROOM RIGHT 315 00:07:13,633 --> 00:07:15,203 NOW DOWNWARD-DOGGING, 316 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:16,470 UPWARD-DOGGING, AND 317 00:07:16,467 --> 00:07:17,727 SIDE-DOGGING, OKAY? 318 00:07:17,733 --> 00:07:19,073 SO I GUESS HE ALREADY DECIDED ON 319 00:07:19,067 --> 00:07:20,867 WHO HE WANT TO BE WITH. 320 00:07:20,867 --> 00:07:23,167 WELL, FINE. FINE. 321 00:07:23,167 --> 00:07:24,767 LOOK, BRING YOUR LITTLE SELF ON 322 00:07:24,767 --> 00:07:26,667 DOWN HERE, OKAY, AND HE CAN DUMP 323 00:07:26,667 --> 00:07:27,727 YOUR TRIFLING...IN PERSON. 324 00:07:27,733 --> 00:07:29,233 I'M GONNA GIVE YOU MY E-MAIL, 325 00:07:29,233 --> 00:07:30,903 PHONE NUMBER, ADDRESS, AND SKYPE 326 00:07:30,900 --> 00:07:32,500 INFORMATION -- HOW ABOUT THAT? 327 00:07:32,500 --> 00:07:33,570 [ DOORBELL RINGS ] 328 00:07:33,567 --> 00:07:34,927 >> ROSIE, CAN YOU DO ME A FAVOR? 329 00:07:34,933 --> 00:07:35,773 CAN YOU GET THAT? 330 00:07:35,767 --> 00:07:36,827 >> ON THE COUNTDOWN, AND 331 00:07:36,833 --> 00:07:37,403 LISTEN... 332 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:38,070 >> THANK YOU. 333 00:07:38,067 --> 00:07:39,427 >> TERRENCE, ROCSI! 334 00:07:39,433 --> 00:07:41,103 GUYS, CAN YOU JUST LET ONE VIDEO 335 00:07:41,100 --> 00:07:42,230 PLAY IN ITS ENTIRETY? 336 00:07:42,233 --> 00:07:43,873 DANG. 337 00:07:43,867 --> 00:07:45,497 >> OH, YO, MAID LADY, TAKE THIS 338 00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:46,070 CHAMPAGNE. 339 00:07:46,067 --> 00:07:46,767 GIVE ME TWO GLASSES. 340 00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:47,397 THAT'S BE GREAT. 341 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:47,870 DERWIN! 342 00:07:47,867 --> 00:07:48,397 >> WHAT'S UP? 343 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:49,070 >> WHAT'S UP, BUDDY? 344 00:07:49,067 --> 00:07:49,827 ALL RIGHT, LISTEN, TAKE YOUR 345 00:07:49,833 --> 00:07:50,203 ARM. 346 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:50,900 POP ME IN A CHOKE HOLD. 347 00:07:50,900 --> 00:07:51,330 >> HUH? 348 00:07:51,333 --> 00:07:52,073 >> NO, SERIOUSLY, COME ON. 349 00:07:52,067 --> 00:07:52,927 JUST PUT ME IN A LITTLE -- PUT 350 00:07:52,933 --> 00:07:53,673 ME IN A LITTLE CHOKE HOLD. 351 00:07:53,667 --> 00:07:54,267 NOW JUST BE READY. 352 00:07:54,267 --> 00:07:54,767 >> LET'S GO. 353 00:07:54,767 --> 00:07:55,327 >> YOU READY?! 354 00:07:55,333 --> 00:07:55,973 >> YEAH. 355 00:07:55,967 --> 00:07:56,967 >> [ BREATHING SHARPLY ] 356 00:07:56,967 --> 00:07:59,427 KRAV MAGA! 357 00:07:59,433 --> 00:08:01,133 AAH! 358 00:08:01,133 --> 00:08:01,873 AAH! 359 00:08:01,867 --> 00:08:03,197 KRAV MAGA! 360 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:04,400 [ GRUNTING ] 361 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:05,500 >> IS THIS IT? 362 00:08:05,500 --> 00:08:06,100 >> UNCLE. 363 00:08:06,100 --> 00:08:07,100 >> OH, DAMN! 364 00:08:07,100 --> 00:08:09,530 >> [ COUGHING ] 365 00:08:09,533 --> 00:08:10,173 >> YOU ALL RIGHT? 366 00:08:10,167 --> 00:08:12,527 >> YEAH. 367 00:08:12,533 --> 00:08:13,303 ARE YOU OKAY? 368 00:08:13,300 --> 00:08:14,400 >> I'M -- I'M FINE. 369 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:15,670 >> OH, GOOD. I'M OKAY. 370 00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:16,867 YOU'VE OBVIOUSLY STUDIED THE 371 00:08:16,867 --> 00:08:17,827 WAYS OF KRAV MAGA. 372 00:08:17,833 --> 00:08:18,903 >> NO, I HAVEN'T, BUT IF THAT'S 373 00:08:18,900 --> 00:08:19,970 WHAT YOU LEARNED IN YOUR CLASS, 374 00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:20,967 MAN, YOU NEED TO GET YOUR MONEY 375 00:08:20,967 --> 00:08:21,327 BACK. 376 00:08:21,333 --> 00:08:21,803 >> NO, NO. 377 00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:23,500 I REP...THE ISRAELI WRESTLER. 378 00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:24,600 HE HAD THAT WHOLE DOPING SCANDAL 379 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:25,470 IN THE 2000 OLYMPICS. 380 00:08:25,467 --> 00:08:25,867 >> MM. 381 00:08:25,867 --> 00:08:27,597 >> HIS FATHER WAS PART OF THAT 382 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:28,470 MUNICH THING. 383 00:08:28,467 --> 00:08:30,297 HIS KID TEACHES ME FOR FREE. 384 00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:31,370 >> WHAT'S UP WITH THE CHAMPAGNE, 385 00:08:31,367 --> 00:08:31,767 MAN? 386 00:08:31,767 --> 00:08:32,667 WE CELEBRATING SOMETHING? 387 00:08:32,667 --> 00:08:33,767 >> WELL, I, IN FACT, AM 388 00:08:33,767 --> 00:08:35,167 CELEBRATING MY NEWLY FINALIZED 389 00:08:35,167 --> 00:08:36,467 DIVORCE FROM MY OVER-THE-HILL 390 00:08:36,467 --> 00:08:37,697 MAIL-ORDER BRIDE SVETLANA. 391 00:08:37,700 --> 00:08:38,230 >> OH. 392 00:08:38,232 --> 00:08:40,232 >> AND YOU, MY FRIEND, ARE 393 00:08:40,232 --> 00:08:41,972 CELEBRATING YOUR NEW CONTRACT 394 00:08:41,967 --> 00:08:43,497 FOR... 395 00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:44,800 $50 MILLION! 396 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:46,730 HOLLA! 397 00:08:46,733 --> 00:08:47,733 >> ARE YOU SERIOUS -- 398 00:08:47,733 --> 00:08:48,473 $50 MILLION, IRV?! 399 00:08:48,467 --> 00:08:49,597 >> AS SERIOUS AS THE JUDGE WHO 400 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:50,800 ORDERED ME TO GIVE HALF MY MONEY 401 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:51,700 TO THE UKRAINIAN SKANK. 402 00:08:51,700 --> 00:08:52,070 >> WHOO! 403 00:08:52,067 --> 00:08:52,867 >> WHOO! 404 00:08:52,867 --> 00:08:53,867 >> D.C. WASN'T PLAYING. 405 00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,127 THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! 406 00:08:55,133 --> 00:08:55,573 >> NO, NO. 407 00:08:55,567 --> 00:08:56,397 D.C. IS HISTORY, BUDDY. 408 00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:57,330 THIS OFFER'S FROM THE SABERS. 409 00:08:57,333 --> 00:08:57,873 >> SAY WHAT? 410 00:08:57,867 --> 00:08:59,067 >> THAT'S RIGHT -- SABERS FOR 411 00:08:59,067 --> 00:09:00,427 LIFE, BABY! 412 00:09:00,433 --> 00:09:01,373 >> NO, IRV. I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 413 00:09:01,367 --> 00:09:02,297 I THOUGHT WE TOLD YOU THAT WE 414 00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:03,070 WERE INTERESTED IN D.C. 415 00:09:03,067 --> 00:09:04,097 >> NO, I KNOW. I KNOW. 416 00:09:04,100 --> 00:09:05,500 BUT ONCE THE SABERS FOUND OUT 417 00:09:05,500 --> 00:09:06,930 THAT D.C. WAS INTERESTED, THEY 418 00:09:06,933 --> 00:09:08,233 CALLED ME ON THE PHONE AND TOLD 419 00:09:08,233 --> 00:09:09,603 ME HOW BADLY THEY WANTED TO STEP 420 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:10,670 UP TO THE PLATE AND SHOW 421 00:09:10,667 --> 00:09:12,667 DERWIN DAVIS THE APPRECIATION HE 422 00:09:12,667 --> 00:09:13,797 DESERVES, HUH? 423 00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:16,070 OH! HUH? COME ON. 424 00:09:16,067 --> 00:09:16,967 >> NO, IRV, NO. 425 00:09:16,967 --> 00:09:17,797 THAT'S A GREAT OFFER. 426 00:09:17,800 --> 00:09:18,900 DON'T GET IT TWISTED, ALL RIGHT? 427 00:09:18,900 --> 00:09:20,070 BUT, LIKE, YO, ME AND MELANIE 428 00:09:20,067 --> 00:09:21,097 WERE SERIOUS ABOUT WANTING TO 429 00:09:21,100 --> 00:09:21,670 EXPLORE D.C. 430 00:09:21,667 --> 00:09:22,397 >> YEAH, NO, NO, NO. 431 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:23,470 D.C. IS HISTORY, BUDDY, OKAY? 432 00:09:23,467 --> 00:09:24,267 THAT AIN'T HAPPENING. 433 00:09:24,267 --> 00:09:25,297 I TOLD THEM TO GO SCREW 434 00:09:25,300 --> 00:09:26,530 THEMSELVES AFTER THEY 435 00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:28,073 DISRESPECTED YOU WITH A MEASLY 436 00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:31,067 $30 MILLION OFFER. 437 00:09:31,067 --> 00:09:32,527 NOW, MELANIE, ON THE OTHER 438 00:09:32,533 --> 00:09:34,933 HAND -- SHE'S FREE TO GO. 439 00:09:34,933 --> 00:09:36,303 OOH. 440 00:09:36,300 --> 00:09:38,530 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 441 00:09:38,533 --> 00:09:40,203 >> WHAT'S UP, MALIK? 442 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:42,070 >> POOKIE, YOU MAY ENTER. 443 00:09:42,067 --> 00:09:43,267 >> OKAY. 444 00:09:43,267 --> 00:09:44,727 HEY, BABY. 445 00:09:44,733 --> 00:09:51,573 >> POOKIE...HAVE A SEAT, PLEASE. 446 00:09:51,567 --> 00:09:52,467 >> [ SIGHS ] 447 00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:53,967 >> POOKIE, THE REASON WE ARE ALL 448 00:09:53,967 --> 00:09:55,127 GATHERED HERE TODAY IS BECAUSE 449 00:09:55,133 --> 00:09:56,833 MY MOTHER, TASHA MACK, HAS 450 00:09:56,833 --> 00:09:58,803 SOMETHING SHE WANTS TO CONFRONT 451 00:09:58,800 --> 00:09:59,400 YOU WITH. 452 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:00,670 PROCEED WITH THE CONFRONTATION, 453 00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:01,397 MAMA. 454 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:02,400 >> THANK YOU, SON. 455 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:03,000 >> MM-HMM. 456 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:04,200 >> SO, I SPOKE TO YOUR LITTLE 457 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:05,470 CONCUBINE. 458 00:10:05,467 --> 00:10:06,327 OH, YEAH. 459 00:10:06,333 --> 00:10:07,433 AND SHE TOLD ME ALL ABOUT YOUR 460 00:10:07,433 --> 00:10:08,303 LITTLE DALLIANCE. 461 00:10:08,300 --> 00:10:08,900 >> [ GASPS ] 462 00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:10,300 >> TASHA, I TOLD YOU TO BACK OFF 463 00:10:10,300 --> 00:10:11,770 THAT SITUATION AND I WILL HANDLE 464 00:10:11,767 --> 00:10:12,797 IT WHEN I GOT TO RICHMOND. 465 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:13,870 >> OKAY, AND I TOLD YOU THAT 466 00:10:13,867 --> 00:10:14,967 THAT WAS NOT GONNA WORK, DIDN'T 467 00:10:14,967 --> 00:10:15,297 I? 468 00:10:15,300 --> 00:10:16,470 SO I FIGURED, WHY WAIT? 469 00:10:16,467 --> 00:10:16,897 >> MM. 470 00:10:16,900 --> 00:10:18,170 >> MALIK, WOULD YOU DO THE 471 00:10:18,167 --> 00:10:19,027 HONORS, PLEASE? 472 00:10:19,033 --> 00:10:20,333 >> ABSOLUTELY, TASHA MACK. 473 00:10:20,333 --> 00:10:27,373 UNH! COME ON OUT, RESHEIDA! 474 00:10:27,367 --> 00:10:28,997 >> HELLO, POOKIE. 475 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:29,970 >> YOU SAID YOU WERE GONNA 476 00:10:29,967 --> 00:10:31,897 HANDLE IT, SO HANDLE IT. 477 00:10:31,900 --> 00:10:32,770 >> NOT NOW, TASHA. 478 00:10:32,767 --> 00:10:34,167 NOT LIKE THIS. 479 00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:35,467 >> WHAT THE HELL YOU MEAN "NOT 480 00:10:35,467 --> 00:10:35,867 NOW"? 481 00:10:35,867 --> 00:10:37,267 WHAT THE HELL YOU STALLING FOR, 482 00:10:37,267 --> 00:10:37,627 HUH? 483 00:10:37,633 --> 00:10:39,003 WHAT? YOU SAID Y'ALL AIN'T 484 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,100 TOGETHER, RIGHT? 485 00:10:40,100 --> 00:10:40,930 >> NO, NO, NO. 486 00:10:40,933 --> 00:10:42,433 I SAID WE WERE NOT OFFICIALLY 487 00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:44,133 TOGETHER...YET. 488 00:10:44,133 --> 00:10:45,203 >> UH, OOH, OOH. 489 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:47,570 MALIK, YOU NEED TO MEDIATE THAT. 490 00:10:47,567 --> 00:10:49,897 >> RESHEIDA, I'M NOT GIVING YOU 491 00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:51,770 PERMISSION TO SPEAK YET, OKAY? 492 00:10:51,767 --> 00:10:53,067 >> LOOK, THIS IS RIDICULOUS. 493 00:10:53,067 --> 00:10:54,867 LOOK, POOKIE, I KNOW THAT WHEN 494 00:10:54,867 --> 00:10:56,767 YOU LET ME MOVE IN WITH YOU, YOU 495 00:10:56,767 --> 00:10:58,327 WERE DOING ME A FAVOR AS A 496 00:10:58,333 --> 00:10:58,773 FRIEND. 497 00:10:58,767 --> 00:10:59,297 >> RIGHT. 498 00:10:59,300 --> 00:11:01,070 >> BUT WHEN WE STARTED HAVING 499 00:11:01,067 --> 00:11:01,667 SEX... 500 00:11:01,667 --> 00:11:02,397 >> [ GASPS ] 501 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,830 >> ...I FELL FOR YOU, AND THEN, 502 00:11:04,833 --> 00:11:06,073 WHEN I HEARD THAT YOU WERE 503 00:11:06,067 --> 00:11:08,797 MOVING OUT AND MOVING ON TO THIS 504 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:10,870 WOMAN, WELL, I DECIDED I WAS NOT 505 00:11:10,867 --> 00:11:13,867 GONNA GIVE UP WITHOUT A FIGHT. 506 00:11:13,867 --> 00:11:17,067 >> [ BREATHES DEEPLY ] 507 00:11:17,067 --> 00:11:18,227 [ CLEARS THROAT ] OKAY. 508 00:11:18,233 --> 00:11:20,703 UH. 509 00:11:20,700 --> 00:11:23,470 THIS IS NOT THE IDEAL SITUATION 510 00:11:23,467 --> 00:11:24,697 TO HAVE THIS TYPE OF 511 00:11:24,700 --> 00:11:25,500 CONVERSATION. 512 00:11:25,500 --> 00:11:26,630 >> MNH-MNH. 513 00:11:26,633 --> 00:11:28,503 >> TRUST ME -- I WOULD HAVE 514 00:11:28,500 --> 00:11:30,870 NEVER WANTED IT TO HAPPEN THIS 515 00:11:30,867 --> 00:11:34,297 WAY, BUT, OBVIOUSLY, I DON'T 516 00:11:34,300 --> 00:11:37,070 HAVE A CHOICE, SO I'M GONNA JUST 517 00:11:37,067 --> 00:11:40,327 SAY IT. 518 00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:41,873 UNFORTUNATELY, I'M IN LOVE WITH 519 00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:43,367 TASHA. 520 00:11:43,367 --> 00:11:45,297 >> UNFORTUNATELY? 521 00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:46,230 WHAT THE HELL YOU MEAN -- 522 00:11:46,233 --> 00:11:49,503 "UNFOR--" 523 00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,970 OH, MY GOD. 524 00:11:51,967 --> 00:11:53,467 POOKIE, DID YOU JUST SAY YOU IN 525 00:11:53,467 --> 00:11:54,527 LOVE WITH ME? 526 00:11:54,533 --> 00:11:56,503 >> TASHA, I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU, 527 00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:56,930 OKAY? 528 00:11:56,933 --> 00:11:57,533 >> OH, MY GOD. 529 00:11:57,533 --> 00:12:00,703 >> I LOVE YOU. 530 00:12:00,700 --> 00:12:03,070 >> [ BREATHES SHARPLY ] 531 00:12:03,067 --> 00:12:04,497 I WIN. 532 00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:06,500 OH, MY GOD. POOKIE. 533 00:12:06,500 --> 00:12:07,170 >> COME HERE. 534 00:12:07,167 --> 00:12:08,427 >> POOKIE, I LOVE YOU, TOO. 535 00:12:08,433 --> 00:12:09,733 I DO. 536 00:12:09,733 --> 00:12:17,733 I...LOVE...YOU. 537 00:12:17,733 --> 00:12:21,073 I'M SORRY. 538 00:12:21,067 --> 00:12:22,467 YOU OKAY? 539 00:12:22,467 --> 00:12:24,297 >> I'M FINE. 540 00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:26,470 >> I MEAN, I-I DID NOT WANT 541 00:12:26,467 --> 00:12:28,867 THINGS TO GO DOWN THIS WAY. 542 00:12:28,867 --> 00:12:29,867 I MEAN, WELL, THAT'S A LIE, YOU 543 00:12:29,867 --> 00:12:30,867 KNOW, 'CAUSE I DID WANT POOKIE 544 00:12:30,867 --> 00:12:33,297 TO CHOOSE ME, BUT, GIRL, I HAVE 545 00:12:33,300 --> 00:12:35,300 BEEN WHERE YOU ARE, OKAY? 546 00:12:35,300 --> 00:12:36,770 AND I'M SORRY THAT I ALLOWED ALL 547 00:12:36,767 --> 00:12:39,567 OF MY INSECURITIES TO, UH, PUSH 548 00:12:39,567 --> 00:12:40,767 YOU TO A PLACE OF FEELING 549 00:12:40,767 --> 00:12:41,397 INSECURE. 550 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:42,530 >> I AM NOT INSECURE. 551 00:12:42,533 --> 00:12:44,403 >> BUT YOU WILL BE. 552 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:46,830 ALL OF THESE HEARTBREAKS AND 553 00:12:46,833 --> 00:12:49,503 LETDOWNS -- GIRL, THEY GONNA ADD 554 00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:50,200 UP. 555 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:51,170 AND THEN, ONE DAY, YOU'RE GONNA 556 00:12:51,167 --> 00:12:52,967 FIND YOURSELF IN A CLOSET WITH 557 00:12:52,967 --> 00:12:54,797 SOME RANDOM GIRL WHO'S 20 YEARS 558 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:55,800 YOUNGER THAN YOU, AND YOU'RE 559 00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:58,900 GONNA BE WONDERING, "OHH, DOES 560 00:12:58,900 --> 00:13:00,670 MY WARDROBE NEED TO BE UPDATED?" 561 00:13:00,667 --> 00:13:05,967 >> UM, YES. 562 00:13:05,967 --> 00:13:09,827 >> RESHEIDA, LOOK -- BOTTOM LINE 563 00:13:09,833 --> 00:13:11,873 IS YOU'RE GONNA FIND YOUR 564 00:13:11,867 --> 00:13:14,697 PRINCE CHARMING. 565 00:13:14,700 --> 00:13:15,730 >> YEAH, MAYBE. 566 00:13:15,733 --> 00:13:16,833 >> NO, YOU ARE, HONEY. 567 00:13:16,833 --> 00:13:18,573 IT MIGHT TAKE YOU 40-SOME-ODD 568 00:13:18,567 --> 00:13:20,567 YEARS AND, YOU KNOW, A COUPLE OF 569 00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:22,627 POLYESTER SUITS AND MAYBE EVEN A 570 00:13:22,633 --> 00:13:23,673 LITTLE SPANDEX. 571 00:13:23,667 --> 00:13:25,327 [ CHUCKLES ] 572 00:13:25,333 --> 00:13:27,473 YOU'RE GONNA FIND HIM. 573 00:13:27,467 --> 00:13:28,497 AND WHEN YOU DO, YOU'RE NOT 574 00:13:28,500 --> 00:13:30,500 GONNA HAVE TO BEG HIM TO CHOOSE 575 00:13:30,500 --> 00:13:32,500 YOU. 576 00:13:33,733 --> 00:13:34,503 [ DOOR OPENS ] 577 00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:34,970 >> OH. 578 00:13:34,967 --> 00:13:35,827 >> [ HUMMING ] 579 00:13:35,833 --> 00:13:37,073 >> HEY, BUBBY. 580 00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:37,827 >> HEY, WHAT'S UP? 581 00:13:37,833 --> 00:13:39,503 OH! WHY DON'T YOU CALL ME FROM 582 00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:40,430 THE CAR TO HELP YOU WITH THE 583 00:13:40,433 --> 00:13:40,833 BAGS? 584 00:13:40,833 --> 00:13:41,933 I DON'T WANT TO YOU TO STRAIN 585 00:13:41,933 --> 00:13:42,703 YOUR BACK OR NOTHING. 586 00:13:42,700 --> 00:13:44,930 >> OKAY, WHAT IS ALL OF THIS? 587 00:13:44,933 --> 00:13:46,103 I JUST BOUGHT SOME STUFF TO MAKE 588 00:13:46,100 --> 00:13:46,630 DINNER. 589 00:13:46,633 --> 00:13:47,333 >> NO, NO. 590 00:13:47,333 --> 00:13:48,603 IT'S ABOUT TIME WE SHARE IN THE 591 00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:49,700 BURDEN OF THESE HOUSEHOLD 592 00:13:49,700 --> 00:13:50,370 RESPONSIBILITIES. 593 00:13:50,367 --> 00:13:52,527 TONIGHT WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A 594 00:13:52,533 --> 00:13:54,603 PASTA MOSTA-CAT-CCIOLI, 595 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:56,770 COURTESY OF YOUR BOY, 596 00:13:56,767 --> 00:13:59,197 CHEF BOYAR-DOUBLE-D-ZEE, WHICH 597 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:00,130 IS ME-ZEE. 598 00:14:00,133 --> 00:14:02,273 >> OKAY. IT'S MOSTACCIOLI. 599 00:14:02,267 --> 00:14:03,267 >> WHAT YOU SAID. 600 00:14:03,267 --> 00:14:05,127 HERE. I NEED YOU TO SIT DOWN. 601 00:14:05,133 --> 00:14:06,703 TAKE A LOAD OFF 'CAUSE WHAT I 602 00:14:06,700 --> 00:14:08,200 DID WAS I RECORDED ALL YOUR 603 00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:10,100 FAVORITE REALITY SHOWS, SO YOU 604 00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:12,670 CAN KEEP ME COMPANY WHILE I MAKE 605 00:14:12,667 --> 00:14:13,767 YOU DINNER. 606 00:14:13,767 --> 00:14:14,967 >> "HOARDERS"? 607 00:14:14,967 --> 00:14:15,397 >> YEP. 608 00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:16,530 >> "MY SECRET PREGNANCY"? 609 00:14:16,533 --> 00:14:17,403 >> YEP. 610 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:19,300 >> "I'M PREGNANT AND SECRETLY 611 00:14:19,300 --> 00:14:19,800 HOARD"? 612 00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:20,600 >> YEP, YEAH. 613 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:23,500 >> [ LAUGHS ] YES! 614 00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:24,330 WAIT A MINUTE. 615 00:14:24,333 --> 00:14:25,533 WHAT'S GOING ON? 616 00:14:25,533 --> 00:14:27,533 WHY ARE YOU BEING NICE TO ME ALL 617 00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:28,073 OF A SUDDEN? 618 00:14:28,067 --> 00:14:29,327 >> I'M ALWAYS NICE TO YOU. 619 00:14:29,333 --> 00:14:30,103 >> NO, DERWIN. 620 00:14:30,100 --> 00:14:31,230 THE LAST TIME WE WATCHED A 621 00:14:31,233 --> 00:14:32,673 REALITY SHOW TOGETHER, YOU THREW 622 00:14:32,667 --> 00:14:33,627 THE REMOTE AT THE TV. 623 00:14:33,633 --> 00:14:34,573 >> THAT'S BECAUSE THAT 624 00:14:34,567 --> 00:14:35,867 BACHELORETTE CHOSE WRONG. 625 00:14:35,867 --> 00:14:38,327 [ DOORBELL RINGS ] 626 00:14:38,333 --> 00:14:39,873 THERE'S MY SURPRISE DINNER GUEST 627 00:14:39,867 --> 00:14:40,597 FOR YOU. 628 00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:42,070 CLOSE YOUR EYES. 629 00:14:42,067 --> 00:14:44,197 CL-- JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES, MEL. 630 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:47,470 >> [ SIGHS ] 631 00:14:47,467 --> 00:14:50,767 [ DOOR OPENS ] 632 00:14:50,767 --> 00:14:52,097 OH, COME ON, DERWIN. 633 00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:56,430 >> I'M COMING. 634 00:14:56,433 --> 00:14:58,503 OPEN YOUR EYES. 635 00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:02,200 SURPRISE. 636 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:03,770 >> SCREECH. 637 00:15:03,767 --> 00:15:05,897 >> IT'S ACTUALLY DUSTIN. 638 00:15:05,900 --> 00:15:08,870 >> MM. CAN YOU EXCUSE US FOR A 639 00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:10,497 MOMENT, DUSTIN? 640 00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:11,130 >> YEAH. SURE. 641 00:15:11,133 --> 00:15:13,673 NO PROBLEM. 642 00:15:13,667 --> 00:15:15,497 >> [ SIGHS ] 643 00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:17,270 DERWIN, WHAT THE HELL IS SCREECH 644 00:15:17,267 --> 00:15:18,297 FROM "SAVED BY THE BELL" DOING 645 00:15:18,300 --> 00:15:18,700 HERE? 646 00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:20,170 >> LISTEN, DUSTIN'S MY GIFT TO 647 00:15:20,167 --> 00:15:20,567 YOU. 648 00:15:20,567 --> 00:15:21,627 I REMEMBER, BACK IN COLLEGE, YOU 649 00:15:21,633 --> 00:15:22,633 USED TO ALWAYS WATCH RERUNS OF 650 00:15:22,633 --> 00:15:23,373 "SAVED BY THE BELL." 651 00:15:23,367 --> 00:15:24,397 YOU USED TO GO ON AND ON ABOUT 652 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:25,470 SCREECH, LIKE HE WAS YOUR DUDE. 653 00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:26,067 >> NO, NO, NO. 654 00:15:26,067 --> 00:15:27,067 I USED TO HATE SCREECH BECAUSE 655 00:15:27,067 --> 00:15:27,967 HE WAS ALWAYS HITTING ON THAT 656 00:15:27,967 --> 00:15:29,297 ONE BLACK CHICK, LISA TURTLE. 657 00:15:29,300 --> 00:15:31,070 IT WAS PRINCIPAL BELDING THAT I 658 00:15:31,067 --> 00:15:32,127 LOVED. 659 00:15:32,133 --> 00:15:33,303 >> OH, REALLY? 660 00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:34,070 >> [ SCOFFS ] 661 00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:35,527 EW, REALLY? 662 00:15:35,533 --> 00:15:37,073 OKAY. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? 663 00:15:37,067 --> 00:15:39,097 I KNOW SOMETHING IS UP, OKAY? 664 00:15:39,100 --> 00:15:40,430 IT'S NOT EVERY DAY THAT YOU 665 00:15:40,433 --> 00:15:42,273 BRING HOME A '90s CHILD STAR FOR 666 00:15:42,267 --> 00:15:43,127 DINNER. 667 00:15:43,133 --> 00:15:44,673 >> FINE. 668 00:15:44,667 --> 00:15:46,467 FINE. 669 00:15:46,467 --> 00:15:47,627 I WASN'T SURE HOW TO BREAK THE 670 00:15:47,633 --> 00:15:50,233 NEWS TO YOU, SO I'M JUST GONNA 671 00:15:50,233 --> 00:15:50,933 COME OUT AND SAY IT. 672 00:15:50,933 --> 00:15:52,073 >> OKAY. 673 00:15:52,067 --> 00:15:53,697 >> SCREECH, TELL HER. 674 00:15:53,700 --> 00:15:55,070 >> UH. UH, OKAY. 675 00:15:55,067 --> 00:15:56,427 IT -- IT'S DUSTIN. 676 00:15:56,433 --> 00:15:57,073 >> MM-HMM. 677 00:15:57,067 --> 00:15:57,967 >> ALL RIGHT. 678 00:15:57,967 --> 00:15:59,727 UM, TODAY, IRV CAME BY WITH A 679 00:15:59,733 --> 00:16:01,673 $50 MILLION CONTRACT OFFER 680 00:16:01,667 --> 00:16:03,597 FROM -- WAIT FOR IT -- 681 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:04,630 THE SABERS. 682 00:16:04,633 --> 00:16:05,433 >> BAM! 683 00:16:05,433 --> 00:16:05,873 >> RIGHT? 684 00:16:05,867 --> 00:16:07,067 >> IT SOUNDS SO MUCH BETTER WHEN 685 00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:08,067 SCREECH SAYS IT. 686 00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:09,427 >> WELL, MAYBE THE FACT THAT 687 00:16:09,433 --> 00:16:10,873 THE SABRES ARE SO INTERESTED 688 00:16:10,867 --> 00:16:13,697 MIGHT EVEN SPARK MORE INTEREST 689 00:16:13,700 --> 00:16:15,070 WITH D.C. 690 00:16:15,067 --> 00:16:16,197 SO THIS IS GREAT. 691 00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:17,930 >> TALK TO HER, SCREECH. 692 00:16:17,933 --> 00:16:19,133 >> OKAY. HERE'S THE THING -- 693 00:16:19,133 --> 00:16:20,633 THERE IS NO D.C. 694 00:16:20,633 --> 00:16:21,603 THEY'RE OFFERING TO PAY DERWIN 695 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:22,800 LIKE $20 MILLION LESS. 696 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:23,530 >> OHH, GOD FORBID. 697 00:16:23,533 --> 00:16:24,573 WE CAN'T BUY THAT EXTRA ISLAND 698 00:16:24,567 --> 00:16:24,897 NOW. 699 00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:25,800 LOOK, COME ON, SCREECH. 700 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:26,730 WHO CARES ABOUT AN EXTRA 701 00:16:26,733 --> 00:16:27,703 20 MILLION BUCKS? 702 00:16:27,700 --> 00:16:28,330 WE'RE RICH. 703 00:16:28,333 --> 00:16:29,533 >> THAT'S NOT THE POINT. 704 00:16:29,533 --> 00:16:30,933 THIS TYPE OF CONTRACT OFFER IS 705 00:16:30,933 --> 00:16:31,973 UNHEARD OF. 706 00:16:31,967 --> 00:16:33,067 HE'LL BE THE HIGHEST-PAID 707 00:16:33,067 --> 00:16:34,227 RECEIVER IN THE LEAGUE. 708 00:16:34,233 --> 00:16:35,703 YOU CAN'T JUST SKIP PAST THAT. 709 00:16:35,700 --> 00:16:36,730 I MEAN, IT'S HUGE. 710 00:16:36,733 --> 00:16:37,433 >> HUGE. 711 00:16:37,433 --> 00:16:38,733 >> AND SO IS GOING TO 712 00:16:38,733 --> 00:16:40,203 JOHNS HOPKINS AND DOING THIS 713 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:41,070 RESEARCH POSITION. 714 00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:41,867 >> FIRST OF ALL, YOU CAN'T EVEN 715 00:16:41,867 --> 00:16:42,497 COMPARE THOSE TWO. 716 00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:43,130 >> YEAH. 717 00:16:43,133 --> 00:16:44,473 >> WHY -- BECAUSE MY NEEDS ARE 718 00:16:44,467 --> 00:16:45,367 LESS IMPORTANT THAN YOURS? 719 00:16:45,367 --> 00:16:45,767 >> NO. 720 00:16:45,767 --> 00:16:46,867 HOW CAN YOU EVEN SAY THAT? 721 00:16:46,867 --> 00:16:48,227 THIS DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE, ALL 722 00:16:48,233 --> 00:16:48,703 RIGHT? 723 00:16:48,700 --> 00:16:50,300 >> EASY, EASY. HOLD ON. HOLD ON. 724 00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:51,630 STILL MY WIFE. BRING IT DOWN. 725 00:16:51,633 --> 00:16:52,703 >> LOOK, MELANIE, I'M SORRY 726 00:16:52,700 --> 00:16:53,830 THINGS WENT DOWN THE WAY THEY 727 00:16:53,833 --> 00:16:55,733 HAVE, BUT LIFE HAPPENS, OKAY? 728 00:16:55,733 --> 00:16:57,173 AND THIS DECISION HAS ALREADY 729 00:16:57,167 --> 00:16:57,867 BEEN MADE. 730 00:16:57,867 --> 00:16:59,467 WE'D JUST LOVE IT IF YOU'D GET 731 00:16:59,467 --> 00:17:00,367 ON BOARD WITH IT. 732 00:17:00,367 --> 00:17:02,367 >> [ CLICKS TONGUE ] 733 00:17:02,367 --> 00:17:04,527 >> WELL, THAT WON'T BE POSSIBLE 734 00:17:04,532 --> 00:17:05,972 BECAUSE I'VE ALREADY MADE MY 735 00:17:05,967 --> 00:17:08,197 DECISION, TOO. 736 00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:09,530 I'M GOING TO D.C. 737 00:17:09,532 --> 00:17:10,532 >> REALLY? 738 00:17:10,532 --> 00:17:11,602 >> REALLY. 739 00:17:11,599 --> 00:17:14,869 REALLY. 740 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,127 [ FOOTSTEPS ] 741 00:17:16,133 --> 00:17:16,933 >> [ SIGHS ] 742 00:17:16,933 --> 00:17:22,073 [ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ] 743 00:17:22,067 --> 00:17:23,667 HEY. 744 00:17:23,666 --> 00:17:29,496 SO...SHE GONE? 745 00:17:29,500 --> 00:17:32,130 >> OHH. YEAH. 746 00:17:32,133 --> 00:17:34,073 PUT THE POOR GIRL IN A CAB AND 747 00:17:34,067 --> 00:17:35,567 SENT HER OFF TO THE AIRPORT. 748 00:17:35,567 --> 00:17:38,567 >> MM. DO NOT ACT LIKE I'M THE 749 00:17:38,567 --> 00:17:39,697 ONLY ONE RESPONSIBLE FOR 750 00:17:39,700 --> 00:17:40,930 SCREWING THAT POOR GIRL OVER, 751 00:17:40,933 --> 00:17:41,633 OKAY? 752 00:17:41,633 --> 00:17:42,773 >> NO, I WAS JUST SCREWING HER, 753 00:17:42,767 --> 00:17:45,067 BUT YOU -- YOU SCREWED HER OVER. 754 00:17:45,067 --> 00:17:45,527 >> WHAT?! 755 00:17:45,533 --> 00:17:45,933 >> YES. 756 00:17:45,933 --> 00:17:47,233 >> NO, YOU WERE THE ONE THAT WAS 757 00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:48,273 SLEEPING WITH HER, KNOWING YOU 758 00:17:48,267 --> 00:17:49,327 DIDN'T HAVE NO DAMN FEELINGS FOR 759 00:17:49,333 --> 00:17:49,703 HER. 760 00:17:49,700 --> 00:17:50,430 >> WAIT A MINUTE. 761 00:17:50,433 --> 00:17:51,503 >> AND THAT AIN'T COOL, FOOL. 762 00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:52,230 >> WAIT A MINUTE. 763 00:17:52,233 --> 00:17:52,673 >> WHAT? 764 00:17:52,667 --> 00:17:53,827 >> ALL RIGHT, NOW, RESHEIDA IS A 765 00:17:53,833 --> 00:17:54,633 GROWN...WOMAN... 766 00:17:54,633 --> 00:17:55,073 >> MM-HMM. 767 00:17:55,067 --> 00:17:56,097 >> ...A GROWN...WOMAN THAT 768 00:17:56,100 --> 00:17:58,430 INITIATED SEX WITH ME OFTEN. 769 00:17:58,433 --> 00:18:00,173 >> OKAY. WELL, BUT WHAT THE HELL 770 00:18:00,167 --> 00:18:01,197 SHE SUPPOSED TO THINK? 771 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:02,400 COME ON, YOU SLEEPING WITH HER. 772 00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:02,830 >> RIGHT. 773 00:18:02,833 --> 00:18:03,773 >> OKAY, NOT TO MENTION THAT 774 00:18:03,767 --> 00:18:04,667 YOU'RE SHACKING UP WITH THE 775 00:18:04,667 --> 00:18:05,167 GIRL, OKAY? 776 00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:06,127 OF COURSE SHE GONNA THINK IT'S 777 00:18:06,133 --> 00:18:07,603 MORE THAN FRIENDSHIP. 778 00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:10,100 IF IT WALKS LIKE A DUCK, IT HAS 779 00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:14,170 SEX LIKE A DUCK, IT'S A DUCK. 780 00:18:14,167 --> 00:18:15,827 >> BUT IF YOU COOK IT WELL 781 00:18:15,833 --> 00:18:16,503 ENOUGH... 782 00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:17,100 >> UH-HUH? 783 00:18:17,100 --> 00:18:20,070 >> ...IT TASTES LIKE CHICKEN. 784 00:18:20,067 --> 00:18:22,197 >> [ LAUGHS ] 785 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:23,770 >> SEE, BUT THE PROBLEM IS, YOU 786 00:18:23,767 --> 00:18:25,327 GIVE A WOMAN AN INCH AND THEY 787 00:18:25,333 --> 00:18:27,903 TAKE A DAMN MILE. 788 00:18:27,900 --> 00:18:30,670 >> IS THAT WHAT I'M DOING? 789 00:18:30,667 --> 00:18:31,897 AM I TAKING A MILE? 790 00:18:31,900 --> 00:18:33,530 NO, I MEAN SERIOUSLY. 791 00:18:33,533 --> 00:18:35,633 AM I ASSUMING THAT THIS 792 00:18:35,633 --> 00:18:36,873 RELATIONSHIP IS MORE THAN WHAT 793 00:18:36,867 --> 00:18:38,567 IT IS? 794 00:18:38,567 --> 00:18:39,827 I AIN'T TRYING TO BE NO COOKED 795 00:18:39,833 --> 00:18:41,733 DUCK. 796 00:18:41,733 --> 00:18:46,533 >> I LOVE YOU. 797 00:18:46,533 --> 00:18:48,233 OKAY? 798 00:18:48,233 --> 00:18:49,373 THAT'S WHY I AIN'T NEVER TRIED 799 00:18:49,367 --> 00:18:51,867 NOTHING ON YOU. 800 00:18:51,867 --> 00:18:53,597 >> SO THAT'S WHY WE AIN'T 801 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:54,470 DUCKING? 802 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:58,067 >> [ CHUCKLES ] 803 00:18:58,067 --> 00:19:00,927 YOU, GIRL, YOU -- NO, YOU SOME 804 00:19:00,933 --> 00:19:03,073 REAL CHICKEN. 805 00:19:03,067 --> 00:19:03,927 >> REAL CHICKEN? 806 00:19:03,933 --> 00:19:04,703 >> YOU'RE REAL CHICKEN. 807 00:19:04,700 --> 00:19:05,400 >> I'M CHICKEN? 808 00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:06,070 >> MMM. 809 00:19:06,067 --> 00:19:06,867 >> BAKED OR FRIED? 810 00:19:06,867 --> 00:19:08,397 >> MMM.LUCK! 811 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:13,100 >> MM. 812 00:19:13,150 --> 00:19:17,700 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 49237

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