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>> [ SIGHS ] ALL RIGHT.
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SO, UH, TO BE HONEST, I WAS A
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LITTLE NERVOUS COMING HERE
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TODAY, YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE I FOUND
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OUT ABOUT Y'ALL ON CRAIGSLIST.
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YOU KNOW, LAST TIME I WAS ON
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CRAIGSLIST, I ENDED UP WITH A
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STALKER AND A 10-DAY
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PRESCRIPTION TO DOXYCYCLINE.
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>> I'VE BEEN THERE.
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DONE THAT.
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>> OH, OKAY.
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BUT, UM, TRUTH IS, UH...
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I WAS REALLY INTRIGUED ABOUT
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YOUR LITTLE NYMPHO GROUP, YOU
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KNOW?
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>> ACTUALLY, WE CONSIDER
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OURSELVES BORN-AGAIN VIRGINS.
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>> OKAY.
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BUT, UM...
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TO BE HONEST, UH...
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I HAVE HAD A STRUGGLE WITH SEX
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SINCE, UH, HIGH SCHOOL.
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SO THE GOOD THING ABOUT SLEEPING
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WITH THE SCHOOL COUNSELOR -- I
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AIN'T NEVER HAD TO TURN IN NO
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HOMEWORK, RIGHT?
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BUT THEN THE BAD NEWS WAS, I GOT
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SUSPENDED WHEN HE FOUND OUT I
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WAS SLEEPING WITH
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CAFETERIA EARL.
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MM!
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I WAS A SUCKER FOR SOME
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SALISBURY STEAK.
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OH!
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OOH, AND THEN HE PUT THAT LITTLE
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MASHED POTATO ON THE SIDE WITH
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IT. MMM!
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>> BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.
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>> OOH, WITH THE GRAVY, TOO!
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I KNOW THESE MEETINGS ARE
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SUPPOSED TO BE ANONYMOUS, Y'ALL,
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SO I AIN'T GONNA SAY NO NAMES.
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LET'S JUST SAY HE WAS RICH...
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HE WAS HANDSOME...
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AND HE WAS AN ATHLETE.
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YOU KNOW, AND I JUST DIDN'T FEEL
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WORTHY OF DATING HIM.
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IT WAS RICK FOX, Y'ALL!
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OW!
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DAMN! YOU HEAR ME?!
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RICK FOX!
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OH, YES.
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OH, YES.
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AFTER THE DYING MAN AND A PARTY
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PROMOTER, I STARTED SCREWING A
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PROSTITUTE.
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I MEAN FROM RICK FOX TO A
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PROSTITUTE?
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I MEAN, Y'ALL BEEN WITH A
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PROSTITUTE BEFORE, TOO, RIGHT?
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CAN I GET A "BEEN THERE"?
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"DONE THAT"?
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"AMEN" OR...?
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OH, GOD.
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I NEED HELP, Y'ALL.
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I DONE HIT ROCK BOTTOM, HUH?
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>> FORTUNATELY, THAT IS EXACTLY
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WHAT THE CUPCAKES ARE HERE FOR.
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WE'RE HERE TO SUPPORT YOUR
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COMMITMENT TO ABSTINENCE.
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AND, BELIEVE ME, WE KNOW IT
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IS -- IT IS NOT AN EASY THING
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TO DO.
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BUT THAT'S WHY WE STARTED THIS
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SUPPORT GROUP.
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OKAY, IF YOU FIND YOUR CUPCAKE
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IN A...COMPROMISING POSITION,
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THEN YOU GIVE ONE OF US A CALL.
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YOU THINK ABOUT US AS YOUR
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SPONSORS -- LIKE A LIVING,
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BREATHING CHASTITY BELT.
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>> OKAY.
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>> WE FEEL LIKE MEN NEED TO WORK
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TO GET YOUR CUPCAKE.
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>> THEY DO, YEAH.
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>> DESSERT COMES LAST.
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>> I LOVE THAT.
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I DO.
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I DO.
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BUT HOW, Y'ALL?
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OKAY?
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I MEAN, I BEEN HOLDING OUT ON MY
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MAN FOR THE PAST TWO WEEKS.
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AND I SWEAR, I'M ABOUT READY TO
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BASH IN HIS FACE WITH MY
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CUPCAKE.
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LOOK, I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW
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THAT I MADE IT TO D.C. SAFELY...
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UM, NOT THAT YOU CARE SINCE
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YOU'RE PROBABLY STILL MAD AT ME
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FOR LEAVING, BUT JUST IN CASE
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YOU WERE CURIOUS, I'M HERE, AND
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I'M SAFE.
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I ALREADY SAID THAT, HUH.
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I'M RAMBLING.
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OKAY. SO I GUESS JUST CALL ME
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WHEN YOU GET THIS SO WE CAN
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CHAT.
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I HAVE A BIG INTERVIEW AT
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JOHNS HOPKINS FIRST THING IN THE
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MORNING, AND I'M KIND OF
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NERVOUS.
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I'D REALLY LOVE TO HEAR YOUR
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VOICE.
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I REALLY LOVE YOU, I MISS YOU,
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AND I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU.
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[ BEEPS ]
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>> MESSAGE DISCARDED.
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[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]
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>> ANOTHER CERVEZA, MY FRIEND?
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YOU KNOW, WITHOUT YOUR WIFE
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AROUND, YOU ARE NOT THE MOST
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UNINTERESTING MAN IN THE ROOM.
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>> HA HA!
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THAT'S WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT,
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DAWG.
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YO, THIS IS JUST LIKE OLD TIMES,
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Y'ALL -- GOOD MUSIC, GOOD
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GROUPIES.
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>> TEE TEE GETTING SHOT DOWN BY
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ONE BROAD AFTER THE NEXT.
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>> OKAY.
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DON'T THINK YOU GONNA KEEP
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GETTING FREE POULTRY WITHOUT
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CLUCKING.
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SHE'LL BE BACK.
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>> Both: YEAH, RIGHT.
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[ BOTH LAUGH ]
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>> JUST LIKE OLD TIMES, FELLAS.
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[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]
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>> HEY, DAWG, YOU BETTER STEP
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OUTSIDE AND ANSWER THAT.
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YOU KNOW, IF WIFEY HEARS ANY
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AMOUNT OF NOISE IN THE
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BACKGROUND, YOUR ASS IS BACK ON
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PROBATION.
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>> PENILE PROBATION.
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>> HA!
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>> HEY, Y'ALL CHILL, Y'ALL
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CHILL, OKAY?
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'CAUSE MELANIE'S ABOUT TO TALK
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TO THE BEEP.
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LOOK, SHE'S WHERE SHE WANTS TO
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BE.
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I'M EXACTLY WHERE I WANT TO
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BE -- RIGHT HERE WITH MY NINJAS.
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YOU UNDERSTAND ME?
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>> THAT'S WHAT'S UP.
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MY MAN.
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I'LL DOUBLE FIST TO THAT.
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>> OH, NEGRO, YOU'LL DOUBLE
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FIST ANY DAMN THING.
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>> FINE, I'LL CLUCK YOU.
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>> SEE? WHAT'D I TELL YOU?
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NOW STAND OVER THERE QUIETLY.
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>> WOW. THAT'S HOW YOU FEEL,
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TEE TEE?
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BOSS DOG?
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>> POOKIE.
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WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
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I DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE COMING
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BACK TILL THIS WEEKEND.
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>> YOU KNOW WHAT, BABE?
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I MISSED YOU SO MUCH.
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I JUST CHANGED SOME THINGS
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AROUND.
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>> OH. OKAY, WELL, HOW THE HELL
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DID YOU GET INTO MY HOTEL ROOM?
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NOW, YOU AIN'T BACK TO BREAKING
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AND ENTERING, ARE YOU?
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>> RELAX.
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I JUST SHARED WORDS WITH THE
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MAID.
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>> OH. WELL, WHAT KIND OF WORDS?
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YOU KNOW SHE DON'T SPEAK NO
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ENGLISH.
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SO WHEN YOU START SPEAKING
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SPANISH?
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>> I PICKED A FEW THINGS UP IN
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THE PEN, FIGHTING ALONGSIDE MY
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BROWN BROTHERS.
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>> OH, YEAH?
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COME HERE, BABY.
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>> OOH!
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OOH.
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THAT COLOGNE?
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>> YEAH, YOU KNOW, IT'S THAT
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JOHN VARVATOS.
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>> UGH! OKAY, WELL, DON'T WEAR
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IT NO MORE, OKAY?
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'CAUSE I'M ALLERGIC TO THAT.
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>> BUT, BABY, YOU BOUGHT IT.
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I THOUGHT YOU SAID IS WAS YOUR
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FAVORITE.
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>> OKAY, IT WAS, ALL RIGHT?
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IT WAS MY FAVORITE, BUT I HAVE
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SINCE THEN FOUND OUT I AM
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ALLERGIC TO THAT AND SOAP.
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SO DO ME A FAVOR -- DON'T BATHE
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FOR A WHILE, EITHER.
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>> WHATEVER.
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WHY DON'T YOU COME OVER HERE AND
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EAT BEFORE THIS FOOD GET COLD.
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HERE.
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>> WOW.
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>> MM-HMM.
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>> OKAY.
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OH, EXCUSE YOU.
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OKAY, I CAN PUT MY OWN NAPKIN ON
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MY OWN LAP.
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THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
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AND WHAT'S UP WITH ALL THIS
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DARKNESS?
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I WANT TO AT LEAST SEE WHAT THE
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HELL I AM ABOUT TO EAT.
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I'M JUST TRYING TO CREATE THE
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MOOD.
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>> OKAY, WELL YOU HAVE CREATED
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THE PERFECT ENVIRONMENT FOR
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MOLD.
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MOLD BREEDS IN DARK PLACES.
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HELL, NEXT THING YOU KNOW, BOOM!
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I GOT ALLERGIES AND ASTHMA.
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>> WHAT...
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WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
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>> OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
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NO MORE COLOGNE.
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THE LIGHTS ARE ON.
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I DON'T EVEN CARE IF YOUR NAPKIN
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FALLS ON THE FLOOR.
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SO, IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE THAT
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YOU NEED TO COMPLAIN ABOUT
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BEFORE WE EAT?
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>> NO.
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>> OKAY.
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[ CLEARS THROAT ]
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I HOPE YOU LIKE SPAGHETTI.
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>> WITH MEATBALLS?
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>> IS THERE A PROBLEM?
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>> HOW BIG ARE THEY?
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WHAT?
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I'M GOOD.
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>> OKAY.
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>> WOW. THIS LOOKS GREAT.
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>> AH, GOOD.
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>> [ CHUCKLES ]
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>> MM.
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>> YOU KNOW WHAT?
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I'M NOT EVEN HUNGRY.
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>> YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING.
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>> SOMETHING'S GOING ON WITH MY
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STOMACH.
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JUST...
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WHY DON'T WE DO SOMETHING A
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LITTLE MORE LOW-KEY, HUH?
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OH! YOU WANT TO WATCH A MOVIE,
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BABY?
269
00:06:51,467 --> 00:06:52,897
>> YEAH, FINE.
270
00:06:52,900 --> 00:06:54,470
>> HUH? OH, AND HERE.
271
00:06:54,467 --> 00:06:55,627
PUT YOUR SWEATER ON BEFORE YOU
272
00:06:55,633 --> 00:06:57,503
CATCH HYPOTHERMIA.
273
00:07:06,867 --> 00:07:09,667
FOR YOU.
274
00:07:09,667 --> 00:07:11,597
>> OKAY.
275
00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:17,330
"LOVE JONES" IS ON.
276
00:07:17,333 --> 00:07:18,633
>> NOPE. I DONE SEEN THAT A
277
00:07:18,633 --> 00:07:19,703
MILLION TIMES, OKAY?
278
00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:21,300
AND I AM NOT INTO BLACK PEOPLE
279
00:07:21,300 --> 00:07:22,230
DOING POETRY.
280
00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:25,603
I PREFER MY BLACKS RAPPING.
281
00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:26,530
OH, DO YOU KNOW WHAT?
282
00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:27,773
WHY DON'T WE JUST EXPAND OUR
283
00:07:27,767 --> 00:07:28,927
MOVIE-WATCHING PALATE, HUH?
284
00:07:28,933 --> 00:07:29,433
>> OKAY.
285
00:07:29,433 --> 00:07:30,733
>> OKAY, WE CAN STEP OUTSIDE OF
286
00:07:30,733 --> 00:07:32,073
OUR BOX AND WE CAN BECOME MORE
287
00:07:32,067 --> 00:07:35,797
SOPHISTICATED MOVIE-WATCHERS.
288
00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:39,130
"TO WONG FOO."
289
00:07:39,133 --> 00:07:42,103
>> UM, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
290
00:07:42,100 --> 00:07:45,870
>> YES! YES! OH, YES!
291
00:07:45,867 --> 00:07:47,697
[ TELEVISION PLAYING ]
292
00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:05,733
>> YOU KNOW, TASHA, WHAT'S
293
00:08:05,733 --> 00:08:06,173
WRONG?
294
00:08:06,167 --> 00:08:07,627
YOU'VE BEEN ACTING REAL DISTANT
295
00:08:07,633 --> 00:08:08,303
TONIGHT.
296
00:08:08,300 --> 00:08:08,730
>> WHAT?
297
00:08:08,733 --> 00:08:09,833
>> ARE YOU REALLY TRYING TO
298
00:08:09,833 --> 00:08:10,433
AVOID ME?
299
00:08:10,433 --> 00:08:12,073
>> NO!
300
00:08:12,067 --> 00:08:12,667
NO.
301
00:08:12,667 --> 00:08:14,197
>> OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
302
00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:15,430
WELL, THEN HERE.
303
00:08:15,433 --> 00:08:17,233
COME AND LAY WITH YOUR MAN.
304
00:08:21,867 --> 00:08:22,927
THERE WE GO.
305
00:08:22,933 --> 00:08:23,503
SEE?
306
00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:26,400
THAT WASN'T THAT HARD.
307
00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:28,070
MM.
308
00:08:28,067 --> 00:08:29,967
[ TELEVISION PLAYING ]
309
00:08:37,967 --> 00:08:39,297
>> YOU KNOW WHAT?
310
00:08:39,299 --> 00:08:40,669
I CAN'T DO THIS.
311
00:08:40,667 --> 00:08:41,697
IT WAS A BAD IDEA.
312
00:08:41,700 --> 00:08:43,130
>> IT WASN'T MY IDEA TO WATCH
313
00:08:43,133 --> 00:08:44,133
"TO WONG FOO."
314
00:08:44,133 --> 00:08:45,333
>> OKAY, NO, I AIN'T TALKING
315
00:08:45,333 --> 00:08:46,133
ABOUT THE MOVIE.
316
00:08:46,133 --> 00:08:47,433
I'M TALKING ABOUT THE COLOGNE,
317
00:08:47,433 --> 00:08:49,873
THE MEATBALLS, THE MOVIE.
318
00:08:49,867 --> 00:08:50,927
LOOK, I ALREADY TOLD YOU, OKAY?
319
00:08:50,933 --> 00:08:51,903
MY STOMACH'S NOT FEELING THE
320
00:08:51,900 --> 00:08:52,500
BEST, ALL RIGHT?
321
00:08:52,500 --> 00:08:53,600
I JUST WANT TO GO LAY DOWN FOR A
322
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:54,400
MINUTE.
323
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:56,330
ALONE.
324
00:08:56,333 --> 00:08:58,233
I'LL CALL YOU, POOKIE. HERE SO N
325
00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:04,770
NO, I JUST CAME HERE AFTER THE
326
00:09:04,767 --> 00:09:05,397
BAR LAST NIGHT.
327
00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:06,500
>> WHAT, YOU BEEN HERE SINCE
328
00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:07,770
3:00 A.M.?
329
00:09:07,767 --> 00:09:08,627
>> YEAH, MAN.
330
00:09:08,633 --> 00:09:10,103
YOU KNOW, TRYING TO SWEAT OUT
331
00:09:10,100 --> 00:09:11,100
THAT ALCOHOL.
332
00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:11,700
>> [ SCOFFS ]
333
00:09:11,700 --> 00:09:12,870
BRO, YOU ONLY DRANK ONE BEER,
334
00:09:12,867 --> 00:09:14,527
MAN.
335
00:09:14,533 --> 00:09:15,903
>> YOU KNOW, TRY TO KEEP MY EYE
336
00:09:15,900 --> 00:09:16,930
ON THE PRIZE.
337
00:09:16,933 --> 00:09:18,133
WE HAVE TO WIN THIS NEXT PLAYOFF
338
00:09:18,133 --> 00:09:19,273
GAME, AND THEN WE HAVE TO WIN
339
00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:20,967
THE DIVISION TITLE, AND THEN WE
340
00:09:20,967 --> 00:09:22,767
GOT THE CHAMPIONSHIPS.
341
00:09:22,767 --> 00:09:23,927
>> YOU WORRIED ABOUT PROVING
342
00:09:23,933 --> 00:09:25,073
YOURSELF TO THE TEAM, DAWG,
343
00:09:25,067 --> 00:09:25,897
DON'T.
344
00:09:25,900 --> 00:09:27,570
NOBODY TRIPPING OVER THAT KWAN
345
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:28,067
MESS.
346
00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:29,297
>> NO. NO, MAN.
347
00:09:29,300 --> 00:09:30,400
AIN'T WORRIED ABOUT KWAN.
348
00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:31,500
I'M TRYING TO BRING HOME MY
349
00:09:31,500 --> 00:09:33,330
SECOND CHAMPIONSHIP RING, BABY.
350
00:09:33,333 --> 00:09:34,073
FEEL ME?
351
00:09:34,067 --> 00:09:34,897
SO, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?
352
00:09:34,900 --> 00:09:35,900
WE GONNA SIT HERE YAP ALL DAY,
353
00:09:35,900 --> 00:09:36,870
OR YOU GONNA GET DRESSED, TOSS
354
00:09:36,867 --> 00:09:37,897
THE ROCK, AND HELP ME BRING THIS
355
00:09:37,900 --> 00:09:38,930
TEAM TO THE TOP?
356
00:09:38,933 --> 00:09:40,433
COME ON, LET'S GO.
357
00:09:40,433 --> 00:09:41,603
COME ON!
358
00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:43,330
>> OKAY, LADIES, FIRST OF ALL, I
359
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:44,773
JUST WANT TO THANK YOU FOR
360
00:09:44,767 --> 00:09:46,267
COMING OUT TO THIS EMERGENCY
361
00:09:46,267 --> 00:09:47,127
MEETING.
362
00:09:47,133 --> 00:09:49,203
MY MAN IS IN TOWN, AND MY
363
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:50,200
CUPCAKE IS IN DANGER.
364
00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:51,830
>> WELL, I AM PROUD OF YOU FOR
365
00:09:51,833 --> 00:09:53,673
MOVING YOURSELF FROM A DANGEROUS
366
00:09:53,667 --> 00:09:55,297
SITUATION, AND ALTHOUGH IT SEEMS
367
00:09:55,300 --> 00:09:57,070
THAT ANYTHING THIS GUY DOES SETS
368
00:09:57,067 --> 00:09:58,597
YOU OFF, IT'S ALSO IMPORTANT TO
369
00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:00,200
REMOVE ANY OTHER SEXUAL TRIGGERS
370
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,370
YOU HAVE AROUND YOUR HOUSE.
371
00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:02,627
FOR INSTANCE, ALCOHOL.
372
00:10:02,633 --> 00:10:03,433
THAT'S A NO GO.
373
00:10:03,433 --> 00:10:04,703
AND THE SEX TOYS.
374
00:10:04,700 --> 00:10:06,130
AND THIS IS AN ADJUSTABLE
375
00:10:06,133 --> 00:10:07,903
SHOWER HEAD WITH A LOW-PRESSURE
376
00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:08,530
ATTACHMENT.
377
00:10:08,533 --> 00:10:09,003
AM I RIGHT?
378
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:09,430
>> YEAH.
379
00:10:09,433 --> 00:10:10,873
>> YEAH.
380
00:10:10,867 --> 00:10:11,897
>> WHOA.
381
00:10:11,900 --> 00:10:13,730
HEY, I'M SORRY FOR INTERRUPTING,
382
00:10:13,733 --> 00:10:14,403
LADIES.
383
00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:15,170
>> HEY, POOKIE.
384
00:10:15,167 --> 00:10:16,297
WHAT THE HELL YOU DOING HERE?
385
00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:17,530
I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO GO PLAY
386
00:10:17,533 --> 00:10:18,203
IN THE STREETS.
387
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:19,530
>> BUT, BABE, I BROUGHT YOU SOME
388
00:10:19,533 --> 00:10:20,473
SOUP FOR YOUR STOMACH.
389
00:10:20,467 --> 00:10:21,427
>> OH.
390
00:10:21,433 --> 00:10:23,433
>> WHAT IS ALL THIS?
391
00:10:23,433 --> 00:10:25,273
>> UM, JUST A FEW GIRLFRIENDS.
392
00:10:29,733 --> 00:10:32,203
>> YOU GONNA INTRODUCE ME?
393
00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:33,430
>> CUPCAKES -- POOKIE.
394
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:34,833
POOKIE -- CUPCAKES.
395
00:10:34,833 --> 00:10:36,973
>> CUPCAKES.
396
00:10:36,967 --> 00:10:38,227
WHAT IS THIS, SOME SORT OF
397
00:10:38,233 --> 00:10:39,533
BAKING CLUB OR SOMETHING?
398
00:10:39,533 --> 00:10:40,933
>> [ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]
399
00:10:40,933 --> 00:10:41,873
>> NO.
400
00:10:41,867 --> 00:10:43,297
WE'RE A CELIBACY SUPPORT GROUP
401
00:10:43,300 --> 00:10:44,470
FOR WOMEN WHO HAVE BEEN
402
00:10:44,467 --> 00:10:45,597
CONSISTENTLY ABUSED IN
403
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:47,000
RELATIONSHIPS.
404
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,970
WE PROMOTE SELF-CONTROL AND
405
00:10:48,967 --> 00:10:51,227
EMPOWERMENT BY TEACHING WOMEN TO
406
00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:53,233
CONTROL THEIR CUPCAKE SO THAT
407
00:10:53,233 --> 00:10:55,373
THEIR CUPCAKE DOES NOT CONTROL
408
00:10:55,367 --> 00:11:02,927
THEM.
409
00:11:02,933 --> 00:11:04,103
>> SO IS THIS WHY YOU'VE BEEN
410
00:11:04,100 --> 00:11:05,070
TRIPPING ON ME LATELY?
411
00:11:05,067 --> 00:11:06,327
>> POOKIE, AIN'T NOBODY TRIPPING
412
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:07,633
ON NOBODY, DAMN IT.
413
00:11:07,633 --> 00:11:08,973
OKAY? STOP TRIPPING.
414
00:11:08,967 --> 00:11:10,327
>> YOU KNOW WHAT?
415
00:11:10,333 --> 00:11:13,273
THIS CONCEPT SEEMS INTRIGUING.
416
00:11:13,267 --> 00:11:14,567
WOULD YOU MIND IF I SIT QUIETLY
417
00:11:14,567 --> 00:11:15,727
IN THE BACK AND OBSERVE THE
418
00:11:15,733 --> 00:11:16,233
MEETING?
419
00:11:16,233 --> 00:11:17,603
>> NO, THE CUPCAKE CLUB IS
420
00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:18,830
RESERVED FOR WOMEN ONLY.
421
00:11:18,833 --> 00:11:20,933
>> AN ALL-GIRLS CELIBACY CLUB.
422
00:11:20,933 --> 00:11:21,833
>> MM-HMM.
423
00:11:21,833 --> 00:11:22,403
>> OH.
424
00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:24,130
SOUNDS A LITTLE DISCRIMINATORY,
425
00:11:24,133 --> 00:11:27,273
DON'T YOU THINK?
426
00:11:27,267 --> 00:11:29,267
WHAT, A MAN CAN'T BE CELIBATE?
427
00:11:29,267 --> 00:11:30,297
>> FINE. STAY.
428
00:11:30,300 --> 00:11:30,930
WHATEVER.
429
00:11:30,933 --> 00:11:32,073
BUT NO CUPCAKES FOR YOU.
430
00:11:32,067 --> 00:11:33,967
YOU HAVE NOT EARNED ONE.
431
00:11:41,433 --> 00:11:42,633
2:00 IN THE AFTERNOON, MAN.
432
00:11:42,633 --> 00:11:43,303
>> NO, NO, NO!
433
00:11:43,300 --> 00:11:44,400
YOU CAN HAVE ANOTHER DRINK WITH
434
00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:44,830
ME.
435
00:11:44,833 --> 00:11:46,073
JAVI, CAN WE GET MALIK ONE OF
436
00:11:46,067 --> 00:11:47,167
THOSE NONALCOHOLIC THINGS YOU
437
00:11:47,167 --> 00:11:47,597
GAVE HIM?
438
00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:48,730
AND I'LL TAKE ANOTHER BEER.
439
00:11:48,733 --> 00:11:50,473
>> MM, TWO BEERS IN ONE DAY.
440
00:11:50,467 --> 00:11:51,397
FIRST, IT'S TWO, THEN IT'S
441
00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:52,400
THREE, THEN IT'S CRACK, DAWG.
442
00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:53,070
I'M TELLING YOU.
443
00:11:53,067 --> 00:11:54,067
>> YEAH, YOU WOULD KNOW, HUH,
444
00:11:54,067 --> 00:11:54,397
CRACKY?
445
00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:55,630
>> REALLY?
446
00:11:55,633 --> 00:11:56,273
>> MY BAD.
447
00:11:56,267 --> 00:11:57,527
I WAS OUT OF LINE.
448
00:11:57,533 --> 00:11:58,633
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME WANTING TO
449
00:11:58,633 --> 00:11:59,733
SPEND A LITTLE QUALITY TIME WITH
450
00:11:59,733 --> 00:12:00,273
MY BOY?
451
00:12:00,267 --> 00:12:00,697
HUH?
452
00:12:00,700 --> 00:12:02,270
MY BESTEST FROM THE WESTEST?
453
00:12:02,267 --> 00:12:04,167
>> PLEASE SAY IT'S CRACK.
454
00:12:04,167 --> 00:12:05,497
>> OKAY, IT'S CRACK.
455
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:06,530
PSYCH.
456
00:12:06,533 --> 00:12:07,633
LISTEN TO ME -- YOU WANT THE
457
00:12:07,633 --> 00:12:08,733
TRUTH, SINCE YOU BEAT IT OUT OF
458
00:12:08,733 --> 00:12:09,073
ME?
459
00:12:09,067 --> 00:12:09,367
>> NO.
460
00:12:09,367 --> 00:12:10,397
>> OH, I'M GONNA TELL YOU.
461
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:11,500
LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO GO HOME,
462
00:12:11,500 --> 00:12:12,370
MAN.
463
00:12:12,367 --> 00:12:13,397
IT'S NOT THE SAME WITH MELANIE
464
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:13,830
NOT THERE.
465
00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:14,933
I HAVEN'T BEEN BACK TO THE HOUSE
466
00:12:14,933 --> 00:12:15,903
SINCE SHE LEFT TWO DAYS AGO.
467
00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:16,930
>> MM.
468
00:12:16,933 --> 00:12:17,903
SO YOU AIN'T ON CRACK.
469
00:12:17,900 --> 00:12:18,900
YOU ON YOUR PERIOD.
470
00:12:18,900 --> 00:12:19,730
[ LAUGHS ]
471
00:12:19,733 --> 00:12:20,973
DAWG, ENJOY YOUR HALL PASS
472
00:12:20,967 --> 00:12:22,367
BEFORE YOU TAKE YOUR ASS BACK TO
473
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:22,927
DETENTION.
474
00:12:22,933 --> 00:12:26,073
[ CELLPHONE VIBRATING ]
475
00:12:26,067 --> 00:12:26,467
REALLY?
476
00:12:26,467 --> 00:12:27,727
FOR SOMEBODY WHO CLAIM THEY MISS
477
00:12:27,733 --> 00:12:28,873
THEIR GIRL, YOU'RE DAMN SURE
478
00:12:28,867 --> 00:12:30,127
SENDING HER TO VOICEMAIL A LOT.
479
00:12:30,133 --> 00:12:31,503
>> ME AND MELANIE ARE IN A TOUGH
480
00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:32,530
PLACE RIGHT NOW.
481
00:12:32,533 --> 00:12:33,803
QUITE HONESTLY, I DON'T REALLY
482
00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:34,800
KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO HER.
483
00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:35,870
SHE WANT TO D.C. KNOWING I
484
00:12:35,867 --> 00:12:37,067
DIDN'T WANT HER TO GO, AND NOW
485
00:12:37,067 --> 00:12:38,367
SHE'S MENTIONING UPROOTING OUR
486
00:12:38,367 --> 00:12:39,467
LIFE TO GO BACK TO D.C. TO
487
00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:40,827
FINISH HER RESIDENCY AT THAT
488
00:12:40,833 --> 00:12:41,533
HOPKINS PLACE.
489
00:12:41,533 --> 00:12:42,933
WHY DO GIRLS GOT TO BE SO
490
00:12:42,933 --> 00:12:43,633
DIFFICULT?
491
00:12:43,633 --> 00:12:45,073
>> 'CAUSE SHE'S A DAMN WOMAN,
492
00:12:45,067 --> 00:12:45,627
OKAY?
493
00:12:45,633 --> 00:12:47,273
GOD PUT WOMEN HERE TO MAKE OUR
494
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:48,827
LIVES MORE DIFFICULT, SO WE CAN
495
00:12:48,833 --> 00:12:50,073
BE STRONGER MEN, HOMEY.
496
00:12:50,067 --> 00:12:51,467
THINK ABOUT IT, DAWG -- SAMSON
497
00:12:51,467 --> 00:12:52,797
AND DELILAH, ADAM AND EVE...
498
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,230
>> JEZEBEL AND AHAB.
499
00:12:54,233 --> 00:12:55,533
>> HMM?
500
00:12:55,533 --> 00:12:57,073
>> I STUDY THEOLOGY WHEN I'M NOT
501
00:12:57,067 --> 00:12:57,627
BARTENDING.
502
00:12:57,633 --> 00:12:58,433
>> OH.
503
00:12:58,433 --> 00:12:59,403
>> WOW.
504
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:01,070
JAVI, MY MAN, BOY.
505
00:13:01,067 --> 00:13:02,267
I PEGGED YOU AS A HEATHEN,
506
00:13:02,267 --> 00:13:02,667
HOMEY.
507
00:13:02,667 --> 00:13:04,067
>> AREN'T YOU THE POT CALLING
508
00:13:04,067 --> 00:13:04,797
THE KETTLE BACK.
509
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:06,070
>> THE POINT IS, WOMEN IS
510
00:13:06,067 --> 00:13:06,767
WRETCHED.
511
00:13:06,767 --> 00:13:07,427
>> WRETCHED.
512
00:13:07,433 --> 00:13:08,803
>> EXACTLY, WHICH IS WHY I'M
513
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:09,670
NEVER GETTING MARRIED.
514
00:13:09,667 --> 00:13:10,797
>> WHAT THE HELL YOU TALKING
515
00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:11,130
ABOUT?
516
00:13:11,133 --> 00:13:12,403
YOU WAS MARRIED TO ROBIN GIVENS.
517
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:13,530
>> WHICH IS WHY I'M NEVER
518
00:13:13,533 --> 00:13:15,173
GETTING MARRIED AGAIN.
519
00:13:15,167 --> 00:13:16,227
BEHIND EVERY GOOD MAN'S
520
00:13:16,233 --> 00:13:17,533
DOWNFALL, DAWG -- I'M TELLING
521
00:13:17,533 --> 00:13:18,933
YOU -- IS A WOMAN WITH A WEDDING
522
00:13:18,933 --> 00:13:19,503
RING.
523
00:13:19,500 --> 00:13:20,830
>> HE AIN'T LYING, THOUGH.
524
00:13:20,833 --> 00:13:21,773
>> AMEN, BROTHER!
525
00:13:21,767 --> 00:13:23,167
>> NO, NO, NOT MY MELANIE.
526
00:13:23,167 --> 00:13:24,667
OKAY, WE GOT MARRIED WHEN I WAS
527
00:13:24,667 --> 00:13:26,167
AN AGENT SCRUB ON THE BENCH, AND
528
00:13:26,167 --> 00:13:27,767
OUT OF ALL PEOPLE, YOU KNOW THAT
529
00:13:27,767 --> 00:13:29,067
MY SUCCESS CAME AFTER I GOT
530
00:13:29,067 --> 00:13:29,967
MARRIED.
531
00:13:29,967 --> 00:13:31,197
>> WOW.
532
00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:32,730
>> ADAM DIDN'T EVEN GIVE EVE
533
00:13:32,733 --> 00:13:33,733
THAT MUCH CREDIT.
534
00:13:33,733 --> 00:13:35,273
>> MM! EXACTLY.
535
00:13:35,267 --> 00:13:36,497
YOU HEAR THAT, DAWG?
536
00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:37,630
THIS IS COMING FROM A MAN OF
537
00:13:37,633 --> 00:13:39,533
GOD/BARTENDER!
538
00:13:39,533 --> 00:13:40,173
AH!
539
00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:42,067
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
540
00:13:42,067 --> 00:13:44,467
>> AT THE END OF THE DAY...
541
00:13:44,467 --> 00:13:45,967
ALL I WANTED WAS HIM TO TAKE
542
00:13:45,967 --> 00:13:49,727
CARE OF ME AND LOVE ME AND...
543
00:13:49,733 --> 00:13:51,233
MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I WAS THE
544
00:13:51,233 --> 00:13:52,973
SMARTEST, MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN
545
00:13:52,967 --> 00:13:55,567
IN THE WHOLE WORLD...
546
00:13:55,567 --> 00:13:57,597
JUST LIKE MY FATHER.
547
00:13:57,600 --> 00:13:59,200
[ CLAPPING ]
548
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:00,330
>> THANK YOU.
549
00:14:00,333 --> 00:14:01,773
THANK YOU, CUPCAKES, FOR YOUR
550
00:14:01,767 --> 00:14:03,197
BRAVE STORIES OF TRIUMPH AND
551
00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:03,900
DEFEAT.
552
00:14:03,900 --> 00:14:05,500
AND, SYDNEY, WE WILL ALL PRAY
553
00:14:05,500 --> 00:14:07,070
FOR A FULL RECOVERY IN YOUR
554
00:14:07,067 --> 00:14:10,227
UPCOMING FEMININE REJUVENATION.
555
00:14:10,233 --> 00:14:11,533
WELL, SINCE I'M HOLDING THE
556
00:14:11,533 --> 00:14:13,073
MARQUEE CUPCAKE, I MIGHT AS WELL
557
00:14:13,067 --> 00:14:14,867
GO AHEAD AND SHARE, RIGHT?
558
00:14:14,867 --> 00:14:16,797
AS MOST OF YOU KNOW, IT'S BEEN
559
00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:18,900
ALMOST TWO YEARS SINCE I TOOK MY
560
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:20,870
OATH OF CELIBACY OR BEEN IN A
561
00:14:20,867 --> 00:14:22,327
RELATIONSHIP, AND I'VE GOT TO BE
562
00:14:22,333 --> 00:14:23,973
HONEST WITH YOU -- I HAVE NEVER
563
00:14:23,967 --> 00:14:26,667
FELT STRONGER, HAPPIER, OR MORE
564
00:14:26,667 --> 00:14:27,427
ALIVE!
565
00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:28,473
HA!
566
00:14:28,467 --> 00:14:30,967
>> AND WHAT ABOUT ALONE?
567
00:14:30,967 --> 00:14:32,627
>> I BEG YOUR PARDON?
568
00:14:32,633 --> 00:14:35,873
>> LOOK, I AM NOT A RELATIONSHIP
569
00:14:35,867 --> 00:14:37,267
EXPERT.
570
00:14:37,267 --> 00:14:39,467
BUT I CAN TELL YOU ONE THING.
571
00:14:39,467 --> 00:14:41,367
ALL THIS TALK ABOUT HOW THIS MAN
572
00:14:41,367 --> 00:14:43,197
IS DOING THIS AND HOW LONG YOU
573
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:44,900
CAN HOLD OUT WITHOUT GIVING UP
574
00:14:44,900 --> 00:14:46,700
YOUR CUPCAKE AIN'T HELPING YOU
575
00:14:46,700 --> 00:14:49,570
LADIES AT ALL.
576
00:14:49,567 --> 00:14:50,797
WHY ARE YOU DODGING YOUR
577
00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:52,130
BOYFRIEND'S CALLS?
578
00:14:52,133 --> 00:14:53,473
>> BECAUSE HE HASN'T PROPOSED TO
579
00:14:53,467 --> 00:14:54,067
ME.
580
00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:55,127
IT HAS BEEN ALMOST TWO YEARS.
581
00:14:55,133 --> 00:14:56,173
>> OH.
582
00:14:56,167 --> 00:14:57,427
THEN WHY DON'T YOU PROPOSE TO
583
00:14:57,433 --> 00:14:59,603
HIM YOURSELF?
584
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,230
>> I DON'T KNOW.
585
00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:02,703
CAN I DO THAT?
586
00:15:02,700 --> 00:15:04,270
>> WHY NOT?
587
00:15:04,267 --> 00:15:06,197
YOU ARE A STRONG, EMPOWERED
588
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:07,870
WOMAN IN CONTROL.
589
00:15:07,867 --> 00:15:09,597
AND IF HE SAYS NO, THEN DUMP HIS
590
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:11,370
ASS AND FIND SOMEBODY WHO REALLY
591
00:15:11,367 --> 00:15:13,067
WANTS TO BE WITH YOU.
592
00:15:13,067 --> 00:15:13,797
>> OKAY.
593
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:15,700
>> OKAY.
594
00:15:15,700 --> 00:15:17,570
>> AND YOU.
595
00:15:17,567 --> 00:15:18,867
CAN YOU HONESTLY SAY THAT
596
00:15:18,867 --> 00:15:20,367
THERE'S SOMEBODY ELSE AT FAULT
597
00:15:20,367 --> 00:15:22,567
BESIDES YOURSELF FOR DATING A
598
00:15:22,567 --> 00:15:24,427
MARRIED MAN?
599
00:15:24,433 --> 00:15:25,433
>> HIS WIFE?
600
00:15:25,433 --> 00:15:26,533
>> HIS WIFE.
601
00:15:26,533 --> 00:15:27,603
[ LAUGHING ]
602
00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:28,970
YOU SEE?
603
00:15:28,967 --> 00:15:30,797
ALL OF YOU WOMEN ARE MISPLACING
604
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:32,630
YOUR ANGER ON SOMEONE ELSE WHEN
605
00:15:32,633 --> 00:15:34,303
YOU REALLY SHOULD BE BLAMING
606
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:35,330
YOURSELF.
607
00:15:35,333 --> 00:15:37,373
INSECURE.
608
00:15:37,367 --> 00:15:40,127
LOW SELF-ESTEEM.
609
00:15:40,133 --> 00:15:42,133
DADDY ISSUES OVER HERE.
610
00:15:42,133 --> 00:15:43,833
AND YOU.
611
00:15:43,833 --> 00:15:45,433
WELL, YOU JUST NEED TO GET BROKE
612
00:15:45,433 --> 00:15:48,103
OFF A.S.A.P.
613
00:15:48,100 --> 00:15:49,100
>> WHAT?
614
00:15:49,100 --> 00:15:50,830
>> YEAH.
615
00:15:50,833 --> 00:15:55,303
AND LAST, BUT NOT LEAST, YOU.
616
00:15:55,300 --> 00:15:59,100
LATASHA SOJOURNER MACK.
617
00:15:59,100 --> 00:16:01,400
NOW, SEE, SHE'S SCARED FROM
618
00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:03,700
OPENING HERSELF UP TO BEING
619
00:16:03,700 --> 00:16:05,100
HURT.
620
00:16:05,100 --> 00:16:06,470
DESPITE THE FACT THAT SHE'S
621
00:16:06,467 --> 00:16:07,697
ALWAYS JUMPING FROM ONE
622
00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:09,400
MEANINGLESS RELATIONSHIP TO THE
623
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:13,430
NEXT WITH MEN THAT SHE KNOWS SHE
624
00:16:13,433 --> 00:16:15,933
CAN NEVER HAVE A FUTURE WITH.
625
00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:17,503
BUT WHY?
626
00:16:17,500 --> 00:16:21,470
BECAUSE IT'S SAFE.
627
00:16:21,467 --> 00:16:24,167
WELL, YOU SEE ME?
628
00:16:24,167 --> 00:16:25,427
I'M NOT SAFE.
629
00:16:25,433 --> 00:16:27,503
BECAUSE SHE KNOWS THAT THERE'S
630
00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:29,630
A POSSIBILITY THAT THIS THING
631
00:16:29,633 --> 00:16:31,833
RIGHT HERE...
632
00:16:31,833 --> 00:16:33,673
IT CAN REALLY HAPPEN.
633
00:16:42,567 --> 00:16:44,067
AND I KNOW THAT SCARES THE CRAP
634
00:16:44,067 --> 00:16:45,867
OUT OF YOU.
635
00:16:49,700 --> 00:16:52,970
DOESN'T IT?
636
00:16:52,967 --> 00:16:55,667
>> NO.
637
00:16:55,667 --> 00:16:57,497
>> OH, GOD.
638
00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:11,270
OKAY.
639
00:17:11,267 --> 00:17:13,127
WHAT WE GOT HERE?
640
00:17:52,067 --> 00:17:54,797
HEY, MEL.
641
00:17:54,800 --> 00:17:58,470
WHAT'S UP?
642
00:17:58,467 --> 00:17:59,427
I'M -- I'M SORRY.
643
00:17:59,433 --> 00:18:00,533
I'M SORRY, BUT IT'S JUST BEEN
644
00:18:00,533 --> 00:18:01,773
REALLY, REALLY BUSY.
645
00:18:01,767 --> 00:18:04,097
I JUST BEEN, LIKE, NONSTOP.
646
00:18:04,100 --> 00:18:04,930
CRAZY.
647
00:18:04,933 --> 00:18:06,433
UM, LOOK, THE REASON WHY I WAS
648
00:18:06,433 --> 00:18:07,773
CALLING IS BECAUSE I WAS
649
00:18:07,767 --> 00:18:10,327
WONDERING, THE MEALS LABELED FOR
650
00:18:10,333 --> 00:18:12,703
FRIDAY, IS THAT OKAY TO COOK IT
651
00:18:12,700 --> 00:18:16,600
FOR MONDAY?
652
00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:21,370
ALL RIGHT, COOL.
653
00:18:21,367 --> 00:18:25,167
SO, HOW'S D.C.?
654
00:18:25,167 --> 00:18:28,797
OH, WORD?
655
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:30,300
THAT'S WHAT'S UP.
656
00:18:30,300 --> 00:18:33,930
OKAY.
657
00:18:33,933 --> 00:18:35,433
YEAH.
658
00:18:35,433 --> 00:18:37,903
YEAH, I MISS YOU, TOO.
659
00:18:37,900 --> 00:18:38,870
IT'S NOT THE SAME WITHOUT YOU
660
00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:39,367
HERE.
661
00:18:39,367 --> 00:18:40,897
HOUSE FEELS REALLY COLD AND
662
00:18:40,900 --> 00:18:43,670
EMPTY.
663
00:18:43,667 --> 00:18:47,427
NO! IT'S NOT FILTHY.
664
00:18:47,433 --> 00:18:52,103
ONLY A LITTLE BIT.
665
00:18:52,100 --> 00:18:55,130
UM, MELANIE...
666
00:18:55,133 --> 00:19:00,833
ABOUT THE WHOLE MOVE TO D.C.,
667
00:19:00,833 --> 00:19:02,773
WHAT'D YOU HAVE IN MIND?
668
00:19:06,133 --> 00:19:08,973
>> * AND JUST LIKE THEM OLD
669
00:19:08,967 --> 00:19:10,067
STARS *
670
00:19:10,117 --> 00:19:14,667
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