Original subtitles

>> [ SIGHS ] ALL RIGHT.

SO, UH, TO BE HONEST, I WAS A

LITTLE NERVOUS COMING HERE

TODAY, YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE I FOUND

OUT ABOUT Y'ALL ON CRAIGSLIST.

YOU KNOW, LAST TIME I WAS ON

CRAIGSLIST, I ENDED UP WITH A

STALKER AND A 10-DAY

PRESCRIPTION TO DOXYCYCLINE.

>> I'VE BEEN THERE.

DONE THAT.

>> OH, OKAY.

BUT, UM, TRUTH IS, UH...

I WAS REALLY INTRIGUED ABOUT

YOUR LITTLE NYMPHO GROUP, YOU

KNOW?

>> ACTUALLY, WE CONSIDER

OURSELVES BORN-AGAIN VIRGINS.

>> OKAY.

BUT, UM...

TO BE HONEST, UH...

I HAVE HAD A STRUGGLE WITH SEX

SINCE, UH, HIGH SCHOOL.

SO THE GOOD THING ABOUT SLEEPING

WITH THE SCHOOL COUNSELOR -- I

AIN'T NEVER HAD TO TURN IN NO

HOMEWORK, RIGHT?

BUT THEN THE BAD NEWS WAS, I GOT

SUSPENDED WHEN HE FOUND OUT I

WAS SLEEPING WITH

CAFETERIA EARL.

MM!

I WAS A SUCKER FOR SOME

SALISBURY STEAK.

OH!

OOH, AND THEN HE PUT THAT LITTLE

MASHED POTATO ON THE SIDE WITH

IT. MMM!

>> BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.

>> OOH, WITH THE GRAVY, TOO!

I KNOW THESE MEETINGS ARE

SUPPOSED TO BE ANONYMOUS, Y'ALL,

SO I AIN'T GONNA SAY NO NAMES.

LET'S JUST SAY HE WAS RICH...

HE WAS HANDSOME...

AND HE WAS AN ATHLETE.

YOU KNOW, AND I JUST DIDN'T FEEL

WORTHY OF DATING HIM.

IT WAS RICK FOX, Y'ALL!

OW!

DAMN! YOU HEAR ME?!

RICK FOX!

OH, YES.

OH, YES.

AFTER THE DYING MAN AND A PARTY

PROMOTER, I STARTED SCREWING A

PROSTITUTE.

I MEAN FROM RICK FOX TO A

PROSTITUTE?

I MEAN, Y'ALL BEEN WITH A

PROSTITUTE BEFORE, TOO, RIGHT?

CAN I GET A "BEEN THERE"?

"DONE THAT"?

"AMEN" OR...?

OH, GOD.

I NEED HELP, Y'ALL.

I DONE HIT ROCK BOTTOM, HUH?

>> FORTUNATELY, THAT IS EXACTLY

WHAT THE CUPCAKES ARE HERE FOR.

WE'RE HERE TO SUPPORT YOUR

COMMITMENT TO ABSTINENCE.

AND, BELIEVE ME, WE KNOW IT

IS -- IT IS NOT AN EASY THING

TO DO.

BUT THAT'S WHY WE STARTED THIS

SUPPORT GROUP.

OKAY, IF YOU FIND YOUR CUPCAKE

IN A...COMPROMISING POSITION,

THEN YOU GIVE ONE OF US A CALL.

YOU THINK ABOUT US AS YOUR

SPONSORS -- LIKE A LIVING,

BREATHING CHASTITY BELT.

>> OKAY.

>> WE FEEL LIKE MEN NEED TO WORK

TO GET YOUR CUPCAKE.

>> THEY DO, YEAH.

>> DESSERT COMES LAST.

>> I LOVE THAT.

I DO.

I DO.

BUT HOW, Y'ALL?

OKAY?

I MEAN, I BEEN HOLDING OUT ON MY

MAN FOR THE PAST TWO WEEKS.

AND I SWEAR, I'M ABOUT READY TO

BASH IN HIS FACE WITH MY

CUPCAKE.

LOOK, I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW

THAT I MADE IT TO D.C. SAFELY...

UM, NOT THAT YOU CARE SINCE

YOU'RE PROBABLY STILL MAD AT ME

FOR LEAVING, BUT JUST IN CASE

YOU WERE CURIOUS, I'M HERE, AND

I'M SAFE.

I ALREADY SAID THAT, HUH.

I'M RAMBLING.

OKAY. SO I GUESS JUST CALL ME

WHEN YOU GET THIS SO WE CAN

CHAT.

I HAVE A BIG INTERVIEW AT

JOHNS HOPKINS FIRST THING IN THE

MORNING, AND I'M KIND OF

NERVOUS.

I'D REALLY LOVE TO HEAR YOUR

VOICE.

I REALLY LOVE YOU, I MISS YOU,

AND I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU.

[ BEEPS ]

>> MESSAGE DISCARDED.

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

>> ANOTHER CERVEZA, MY FRIEND?

YOU KNOW, WITHOUT YOUR WIFE

AROUND, YOU ARE NOT THE MOST

UNINTERESTING MAN IN THE ROOM.

>> HA HA!

THAT'S WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT,

DAWG.

YO, THIS IS JUST LIKE OLD TIMES,

Y'ALL -- GOOD MUSIC, GOOD

GROUPIES.

>> TEE TEE GETTING SHOT DOWN BY

ONE BROAD AFTER THE NEXT.

>> OKAY.

DON'T THINK YOU GONNA KEEP

GETTING FREE POULTRY WITHOUT

CLUCKING.

SHE'LL BE BACK.

>> Both: YEAH, RIGHT.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

>> JUST LIKE OLD TIMES, FELLAS.

[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]

>> HEY, DAWG, YOU BETTER STEP

OUTSIDE AND ANSWER THAT.

YOU KNOW, IF WIFEY HEARS ANY

AMOUNT OF NOISE IN THE

BACKGROUND, YOUR ASS IS BACK ON

PROBATION.

>> PENILE PROBATION.

>> HA!

>> HEY, Y'ALL CHILL, Y'ALL

CHILL, OKAY?

'CAUSE MELANIE'S ABOUT TO TALK

TO THE BEEP.

LOOK, SHE'S WHERE SHE WANTS TO

BE.

I'M EXACTLY WHERE I WANT TO

BE -- RIGHT HERE WITH MY NINJAS.

YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

>> THAT'S WHAT'S UP.

MY MAN.

I'LL DOUBLE FIST TO THAT.

>> OH, NEGRO, YOU'LL DOUBLE

FIST ANY DAMN THING.

>> FINE, I'LL CLUCK YOU.

>> SEE? WHAT'D I TELL YOU?

NOW STAND OVER THERE QUIETLY.

>> WOW. THAT'S HOW YOU FEEL,

TEE TEE?

BOSS DOG?

>> POOKIE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE COMING

BACK TILL THIS WEEKEND.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT, BABE?

I MISSED YOU SO MUCH.

I JUST CHANGED SOME THINGS

AROUND.

>> OH. OKAY, WELL, HOW THE HELL

DID YOU GET INTO MY HOTEL ROOM?

NOW, YOU AIN'T BACK TO BREAKING

AND ENTERING, ARE YOU?

>> RELAX.

I JUST SHARED WORDS WITH THE

MAID.

>> OH. WELL, WHAT KIND OF WORDS?

YOU KNOW SHE DON'T SPEAK NO

ENGLISH.

SO WHEN YOU START SPEAKING

SPANISH?

>> I PICKED A FEW THINGS UP IN

THE PEN, FIGHTING ALONGSIDE MY

BROWN BROTHERS.

>> OH, YEAH?

COME HERE, BABY.

>> OOH!

OOH.

THAT COLOGNE?

>> YEAH, YOU KNOW, IT'S THAT

JOHN VARVATOS.

>> UGH! OKAY, WELL, DON'T WEAR

IT NO MORE, OKAY?

'CAUSE I'M ALLERGIC TO THAT.

>> BUT, BABY, YOU BOUGHT IT.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID IS WAS YOUR

FAVORITE.

>> OKAY, IT WAS, ALL RIGHT?

IT WAS MY FAVORITE, BUT I HAVE

SINCE THEN FOUND OUT I AM

ALLERGIC TO THAT AND SOAP.

SO DO ME A FAVOR -- DON'T BATHE

FOR A WHILE, EITHER.

>> WHATEVER.

WHY DON'T YOU COME OVER HERE AND

EAT BEFORE THIS FOOD GET COLD.

HERE.

>> WOW.

>> MM-HMM.

>> OKAY.

OH, EXCUSE YOU.

OKAY, I CAN PUT MY OWN NAPKIN ON

MY OWN LAP.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

AND WHAT'S UP WITH ALL THIS

DARKNESS?

I WANT TO AT LEAST SEE WHAT THE

HELL I AM ABOUT TO EAT.

I'M JUST TRYING TO CREATE THE

MOOD.

>> OKAY, WELL YOU HAVE CREATED

THE PERFECT ENVIRONMENT FOR

MOLD.

MOLD BREEDS IN DARK PLACES.

HELL, NEXT THING YOU KNOW, BOOM!

I GOT ALLERGIES AND ASTHMA.

>> WHAT...

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

>> OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

NO MORE COLOGNE.

THE LIGHTS ARE ON.

I DON'T EVEN CARE IF YOUR NAPKIN

FALLS ON THE FLOOR.

SO, IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE THAT

YOU NEED TO COMPLAIN ABOUT

BEFORE WE EAT?

>> NO.

>> OKAY.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

I HOPE YOU LIKE SPAGHETTI.

>> WITH MEATBALLS?

>> IS THERE A PROBLEM?

>> HOW BIG ARE THEY?

WHAT?

I'M GOOD.

>> OKAY.

>> WOW. THIS LOOKS GREAT.

>> AH, GOOD.

>> [ CHUCKLES ]

>> MM.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M NOT EVEN HUNGRY.

>> YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING.

>> SOMETHING'S GOING ON WITH MY

STOMACH.

JUST...

WHY DON'T WE DO SOMETHING A

LITTLE MORE LOW-KEY, HUH?

OH! YOU WANT TO WATCH A MOVIE,

BABY?

>> YEAH, FINE.

>> HUH? OH, AND HERE.

PUT YOUR SWEATER ON BEFORE YOU

CATCH HYPOTHERMIA.

FOR YOU.

>> OKAY.

"LOVE JONES" IS ON.

>> NOPE. I DONE SEEN THAT A

MILLION TIMES, OKAY?

AND I AM NOT INTO BLACK PEOPLE

DOING POETRY.

I PREFER MY BLACKS RAPPING.

OH, DO YOU KNOW WHAT?

WHY DON'T WE JUST EXPAND OUR

MOVIE-WATCHING PALATE, HUH?

>> OKAY.

>> OKAY, WE CAN STEP OUTSIDE OF

OUR BOX AND WE CAN BECOME MORE

SOPHISTICATED MOVIE-WATCHERS.

"TO WONG FOO."

>> UM, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

>> YES! YES! OH, YES!

[ TELEVISION PLAYING ]

>> YOU KNOW, TASHA, WHAT'S

WRONG?

YOU'VE BEEN ACTING REAL DISTANT

TONIGHT.

>> WHAT?

>> ARE YOU REALLY TRYING TO

AVOID ME?

>> NO!

NO.

>> OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

WELL, THEN HERE.

COME AND LAY WITH YOUR MAN.

THERE WE GO.

SEE?

THAT WASN'T THAT HARD.

MM.

[ TELEVISION PLAYING ]

>> YOU KNOW WHAT?

I CAN'T DO THIS.

IT WAS A BAD IDEA.

>> IT WASN'T MY IDEA TO WATCH

"TO WONG FOO."

>> OKAY, NO, I AIN'T TALKING

ABOUT THE MOVIE.

I'M TALKING ABOUT THE COLOGNE,

THE MEATBALLS, THE MOVIE.

LOOK, I ALREADY TOLD YOU, OKAY?

MY STOMACH'S NOT FEELING THE

BEST, ALL RIGHT?

I JUST WANT TO GO LAY DOWN FOR A

MINUTE.

ALONE.

I'LL CALL YOU, POOKIE. HERE SO N

NO, I JUST CAME HERE AFTER THE

BAR LAST NIGHT.

>> WHAT, YOU BEEN HERE SINCE

3:00 A.M.?

>> YEAH, MAN.

YOU KNOW, TRYING TO SWEAT OUT

THAT ALCOHOL.

>> [ SCOFFS ]

BRO, YOU ONLY DRANK ONE BEER,

MAN.

>> YOU KNOW, TRY TO KEEP MY EYE

ON THE PRIZE.

WE HAVE TO WIN THIS NEXT PLAYOFF

GAME, AND THEN WE HAVE TO WIN

THE DIVISION TITLE, AND THEN WE

GOT THE CHAMPIONSHIPS.

>> YOU WORRIED ABOUT PROVING

YOURSELF TO THE TEAM, DAWG,

DON'T.

NOBODY TRIPPING OVER THAT KWAN

MESS.

>> NO. NO, MAN.

AIN'T WORRIED ABOUT KWAN.

I'M TRYING TO BRING HOME MY

SECOND CHAMPIONSHIP RING, BABY.

FEEL ME?

SO, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

WE GONNA SIT HERE YAP ALL DAY,

OR YOU GONNA GET DRESSED, TOSS

THE ROCK, AND HELP ME BRING THIS

TEAM TO THE TOP?

COME ON, LET'S GO.

COME ON!

>> OKAY, LADIES, FIRST OF ALL, I

JUST WANT TO THANK YOU FOR

COMING OUT TO THIS EMERGENCY

MEETING.

MY MAN IS IN TOWN, AND MY

CUPCAKE IS IN DANGER.

>> WELL, I AM PROUD OF YOU FOR

MOVING YOURSELF FROM A DANGEROUS

SITUATION, AND ALTHOUGH IT SEEMS

THAT ANYTHING THIS GUY DOES SETS

YOU OFF, IT'S ALSO IMPORTANT TO

REMOVE ANY OTHER SEXUAL TRIGGERS

YOU HAVE AROUND YOUR HOUSE.

FOR INSTANCE, ALCOHOL.

THAT'S A NO GO.

AND THE SEX TOYS.

AND THIS IS AN ADJUSTABLE

SHOWER HEAD WITH A LOW-PRESSURE

ATTACHMENT.

AM I RIGHT?

>> YEAH.

>> YEAH.

>> WHOA.

HEY, I'M SORRY FOR INTERRUPTING,

LADIES.

>> HEY, POOKIE.

WHAT THE HELL YOU DOING HERE?

I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO GO PLAY

IN THE STREETS.

>> BUT, BABE, I BROUGHT YOU SOME

SOUP FOR YOUR STOMACH.

>> OH.

>> WHAT IS ALL THIS?

>> UM, JUST A FEW GIRLFRIENDS.

>> YOU GONNA INTRODUCE ME?

>> CUPCAKES -- POOKIE.

POOKIE -- CUPCAKES.

>> CUPCAKES.

WHAT IS THIS, SOME SORT OF

BAKING CLUB OR SOMETHING?

>> [ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]

>> NO.

WE'RE A CELIBACY SUPPORT GROUP

FOR WOMEN WHO HAVE BEEN

CONSISTENTLY ABUSED IN

RELATIONSHIPS.

WE PROMOTE SELF-CONTROL AND

EMPOWERMENT BY TEACHING WOMEN TO

CONTROL THEIR CUPCAKE SO THAT

THEIR CUPCAKE DOES NOT CONTROL

THEM.

>> SO IS THIS WHY YOU'VE BEEN

TRIPPING ON ME LATELY?

>> POOKIE, AIN'T NOBODY TRIPPING

ON NOBODY, DAMN IT.

OKAY? STOP TRIPPING.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT?

THIS CONCEPT SEEMS INTRIGUING.

WOULD YOU MIND IF I SIT QUIETLY

IN THE BACK AND OBSERVE THE

MEETING?

>> NO, THE CUPCAKE CLUB IS

RESERVED FOR WOMEN ONLY.

>> AN ALL-GIRLS CELIBACY CLUB.

>> MM-HMM.

>> OH.

SOUNDS A LITTLE DISCRIMINATORY,

DON'T YOU THINK?

WHAT, A MAN CAN'T BE CELIBATE?

>> FINE. STAY.

WHATEVER.

BUT NO CUPCAKES FOR YOU.

YOU HAVE NOT EARNED ONE.

2:00 IN THE AFTERNOON, MAN.

>> NO, NO, NO!

YOU CAN HAVE ANOTHER DRINK WITH

ME.

JAVI, CAN WE GET MALIK ONE OF

THOSE NONALCOHOLIC THINGS YOU

GAVE HIM?

AND I'LL TAKE ANOTHER BEER.

>> MM, TWO BEERS IN ONE DAY.

FIRST, IT'S TWO, THEN IT'S

THREE, THEN IT'S CRACK, DAWG.

I'M TELLING YOU.

>> YEAH, YOU WOULD KNOW, HUH,

CRACKY?

>> REALLY?

>> MY BAD.

I WAS OUT OF LINE.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME WANTING TO

SPEND A LITTLE QUALITY TIME WITH

MY BOY?

HUH?

MY BESTEST FROM THE WESTEST?

>> PLEASE SAY IT'S CRACK.

>> OKAY, IT'S CRACK.

PSYCH.

LISTEN TO ME -- YOU WANT THE

TRUTH, SINCE YOU BEAT IT OUT OF

ME?

>> NO.

>> OH, I'M GONNA TELL YOU.

LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO GO HOME,

MAN.

IT'S NOT THE SAME WITH MELANIE

NOT THERE.

I HAVEN'T BEEN BACK TO THE HOUSE

SINCE SHE LEFT TWO DAYS AGO.

>> MM.

SO YOU AIN'T ON CRACK.

YOU ON YOUR PERIOD.

[ LAUGHS ]

DAWG, ENJOY YOUR HALL PASS

BEFORE YOU TAKE YOUR ASS BACK TO

DETENTION.

[ CELLPHONE VIBRATING ]

REALLY?

FOR SOMEBODY WHO CLAIM THEY MISS

THEIR GIRL, YOU'RE DAMN SURE

SENDING HER TO VOICEMAIL A LOT.

>> ME AND MELANIE ARE IN A TOUGH

PLACE RIGHT NOW.

QUITE HONESTLY, I DON'T REALLY

KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO HER.

SHE WANT TO D.C. KNOWING I

DIDN'T WANT HER TO GO, AND NOW

SHE'S MENTIONING UPROOTING OUR

LIFE TO GO BACK TO D.C. TO

FINISH HER RESIDENCY AT THAT

HOPKINS PLACE.

WHY DO GIRLS GOT TO BE SO

DIFFICULT?

>> 'CAUSE SHE'S A DAMN WOMAN,

OKAY?

GOD PUT WOMEN HERE TO MAKE OUR

LIVES MORE DIFFICULT, SO WE CAN

BE STRONGER MEN, HOMEY.

THINK ABOUT IT, DAWG -- SAMSON

AND DELILAH, ADAM AND EVE...

>> JEZEBEL AND AHAB.

>> HMM?

>> I STUDY THEOLOGY WHEN I'M NOT

BARTENDING.

>> OH.

>> WOW.

JAVI, MY MAN, BOY.

I PEGGED YOU AS A HEATHEN,

HOMEY.

>> AREN'T YOU THE POT CALLING

THE KETTLE BACK.

>> THE POINT IS, WOMEN IS

WRETCHED.

>> WRETCHED.

>> EXACTLY, WHICH IS WHY I'M

NEVER GETTING MARRIED.

>> WHAT THE HELL YOU TALKING

ABOUT?

YOU WAS MARRIED TO ROBIN GIVENS.

>> WHICH IS WHY I'M NEVER

GETTING MARRIED AGAIN.

BEHIND EVERY GOOD MAN'S

DOWNFALL, DAWG -- I'M TELLING

YOU -- IS A WOMAN WITH A WEDDING

RING.

>> HE AIN'T LYING, THOUGH.

>> AMEN, BROTHER!

>> NO, NO, NOT MY MELANIE.

OKAY, WE GOT MARRIED WHEN I WAS

AN AGENT SCRUB ON THE BENCH, AND

OUT OF ALL PEOPLE, YOU KNOW THAT

MY SUCCESS CAME AFTER I GOT

MARRIED.

>> WOW.

>> ADAM DIDN'T EVEN GIVE EVE

THAT MUCH CREDIT.

>> MM! EXACTLY.

YOU HEAR THAT, DAWG?

THIS IS COMING FROM A MAN OF

GOD/BARTENDER!

AH!

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

>> AT THE END OF THE DAY...

ALL I WANTED WAS HIM TO TAKE

CARE OF ME AND LOVE ME AND...

MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I WAS THE

SMARTEST, MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN

IN THE WHOLE WORLD...

JUST LIKE MY FATHER.

[ CLAPPING ]

>> THANK YOU.

THANK YOU, CUPCAKES, FOR YOUR

BRAVE STORIES OF TRIUMPH AND

DEFEAT.

AND, SYDNEY, WE WILL ALL PRAY

FOR A FULL RECOVERY IN YOUR

UPCOMING FEMININE REJUVENATION.

WELL, SINCE I'M HOLDING THE

MARQUEE CUPCAKE, I MIGHT AS WELL

GO AHEAD AND SHARE, RIGHT?

AS MOST OF YOU KNOW, IT'S BEEN

ALMOST TWO YEARS SINCE I TOOK MY

OATH OF CELIBACY OR BEEN IN A

RELATIONSHIP, AND I'VE GOT TO BE

HONEST WITH YOU -- I HAVE NEVER

FELT STRONGER, HAPPIER, OR MORE

ALIVE!

HA!

>> AND WHAT ABOUT ALONE?

>> I BEG YOUR PARDON?

>> LOOK, I AM NOT A RELATIONSHIP

EXPERT.

BUT I CAN TELL YOU ONE THING.

ALL THIS TALK ABOUT HOW THIS MAN

IS DOING THIS AND HOW LONG YOU

CAN HOLD OUT WITHOUT GIVING UP

YOUR CUPCAKE AIN'T HELPING YOU

LADIES AT ALL.

WHY ARE YOU DODGING YOUR

BOYFRIEND'S CALLS?

>> BECAUSE HE HASN'T PROPOSED TO

ME.

IT HAS BEEN ALMOST TWO YEARS.

>> OH.

THEN WHY DON'T YOU PROPOSE TO

HIM YOURSELF?

>> I DON'T KNOW.

CAN I DO THAT?

>> WHY NOT?

YOU ARE A STRONG, EMPOWERED

WOMAN IN CONTROL.

AND IF HE SAYS NO, THEN DUMP HIS

ASS AND FIND SOMEBODY WHO REALLY

WANTS TO BE WITH YOU.

>> OKAY.

>> OKAY.

>> AND YOU.

CAN YOU HONESTLY SAY THAT

THERE'S SOMEBODY ELSE AT FAULT

BESIDES YOURSELF FOR DATING A

MARRIED MAN?

>> HIS WIFE?

>> HIS WIFE.

[ LAUGHING ]

YOU SEE?

ALL OF YOU WOMEN ARE MISPLACING

YOUR ANGER ON SOMEONE ELSE WHEN

YOU REALLY SHOULD BE BLAMING

YOURSELF.

INSECURE.

LOW SELF-ESTEEM.

DADDY ISSUES OVER HERE.

AND YOU.

WELL, YOU JUST NEED TO GET BROKE

OFF A.S.A.P.

>> WHAT?

>> YEAH.

AND LAST, BUT NOT LEAST, YOU.

LATASHA SOJOURNER MACK.

NOW, SEE, SHE'S SCARED FROM

OPENING HERSELF UP TO BEING

HURT.

DESPITE THE FACT THAT SHE'S

ALWAYS JUMPING FROM ONE

MEANINGLESS RELATIONSHIP TO THE

NEXT WITH MEN THAT SHE KNOWS SHE

CAN NEVER HAVE A FUTURE WITH.

BUT WHY?

BECAUSE IT'S SAFE.

WELL, YOU SEE ME?

I'M NOT SAFE.

BECAUSE SHE KNOWS THAT THERE'S

A POSSIBILITY THAT THIS THING

RIGHT HERE...

IT CAN REALLY HAPPEN.

AND I KNOW THAT SCARES THE CRAP

OUT OF YOU.

DOESN'T IT?

>> NO.

>> OH, GOD.

OKAY.

WHAT WE GOT HERE?

HEY, MEL.

WHAT'S UP?

I'M -- I'M SORRY.

I'M SORRY, BUT IT'S JUST BEEN

REALLY, REALLY BUSY.

I JUST BEEN, LIKE, NONSTOP.

CRAZY.

UM, LOOK, THE REASON WHY I WAS

CALLING IS BECAUSE I WAS

WONDERING, THE MEALS LABELED FOR

FRIDAY, IS THAT OKAY TO COOK IT

FOR MONDAY?

ALL RIGHT, COOL.

SO, HOW'S D.C.?

OH, WORD?

THAT'S WHAT'S UP.

OKAY.

YEAH.

YEAH, I MISS YOU, TOO.

IT'S NOT THE SAME WITHOUT YOU

HERE.

HOUSE FEELS REALLY COLD AND

EMPTY.

NO! IT'S NOT FILTHY.

ONLY A LITTLE BIT.

UM, MELANIE...

ABOUT THE WHOLE MOVE TO D.C.,

WHAT'D YOU HAVE IN MIND?

>> * AND JUST LIKE THEM OLD

STARS *

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