Original subtitles

>> [ SNORING ]

>> [ DOOR OPENS ]

>> YO!

>> [ DOOR CLOSES ]

>> THE ARMENIANS FROM

THE AERO TRUCK GET HERE, TOO?

>> IT'S GARO, FOOL. OKAY?

AND YOUR BOY DONE FELL OFF

THE WAGON.

>> POSITIVE?

'CAUSE I'M IN THE MIDDLE

OF A PRETTY SERIOUS TURF

WAR WITH THESE GUYS.

>> DAMN IT, TEE TEE.

>> WELL, HOW YOU THINK I FEEL?

THEY VANDALIZED THE NAME ON THE

CLUCK TRUCK, AND I THINK YOU CAN

IMAGINE WHERE THEY WENT WITH IT.

>> LOOK, TEE TEE, I TOOK

YOUR ADVICE, AND I CHOSE MYSELF

SO I CAN GET ME A LITTLE

LOVE JONES ON WITH POOKIE.

BUT I GOT ONE LOOSE END.

YOUR BOY RIGHT HERE --

HE'S CONDEMNING ME TO

A LIFETIME OF SERVITUDE.

>> [ SNORING CONTINUES ]

>> I CAN'T BELIEVE HE GOT

THIS DRUNK.

HE WAS DOING SO GOOD.

>> I'M A SLAVE, TEE TEE. I AM.

I'M A FIELD SLAVE TO MY OWN

SON -- THE OPPRESSOR.

SON -- THE OPPRESSOR. >> HMM.

>> HMM.

>> BOY... TEE TEE!

>> SORRY.

IT'S NOT THAT OFTEN I COME

ACROSS AN UNCONSCIOUS MALIK.

TRUTHFULLY, I NEVER REALLY GOT

TO PAY HIM BACK FOR SLEEPING

WITH MY GIRL -- ALISON!

>> ALL RIGHT.

>> [ GROANS ]

>> WHAT HAPPENED TO HER, ANYWAY?

>> SHE RAN OFF WITH ONE OF

THOSE ARMENIANS.

SHE'S A SUCKER FOR SHAWARMA.

>> SHAWARMA?

GO ON AND GET ME A COLD TOWEL.

GO ON AND GET ME A COLD TOWEL. >> ALL RIGHT.

>> ALL RIGHT.

>> ALL RIGHT. >> ♪♪

>> ♪♪

>> SO, THE SUNBEAMS CAN'T

GET AN EXTRA TICKET FOR

MY SON BECAUSE HE'S LIVING

WITH HIS NEW FOSTER FAMILY?

>> MM-HMM.

>> WE GOT BRYNN A SEAT

FOR HER DUMB-ASS NANNY.

[ SCOFFS ]

>> BECAUSE MY HUSBAND DOESN'T

HAVE A SEAT ON THE BENCH.

>> I WILL GET OFF THIS COUCH.

>> CAN WE MOVE ON TO SOMETHING

IMPORTANT, LIKE WHY ALL

WE EVER HAVE IS SHRIMP

IN THE SKY BOX?

THERE ARE OTHER CRUSTACEANS,

YOU KNOW.

HELLO! CRAB.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE

ABOUT THAT DAMN SKY BOX --

IS THE SILVERWARE.

HAVE YOU SEEN THE FORKS?

THEY'RE LIKE SPEARS.

>> OH, MY GOD. ENOUGH! ENOUGH!

GOD, I MEAN, YOU DON'T LIKE

THIS, YOU DON'T LIKE THAT!

IT'S THE SAME THING EVERY

SINGLE WEEK, WITH YOUR

FREAKING TRIVIAL PROBLEMS.

AND, LINDSAY, WHAT DO YOU

CARE WHETHER THERE'S SOMETHING

BESIDES SHRIMP ON THE MENU?

I MEAN, YOU'LL STILL GO TO

THE BATHROOM AND THROW IT UP.

AND, TASHA...

>> WHAT?

>> REALLY? THE SIZE OF A FORK?

I MEAN, HAVE YOU EVER USED ONE?

>> YES. OCCASIONALLY.

SOMETIME. IT DEPENDS.

>> EXACTLY.

MY GOD, I COULD GO ON AND ON

ABOUT EACH ONE OF YOU DINGBATS,

WITH YOUR STUPID BAKE SALES

AND YOUR LAME FASHION SHOWS

AND YOUR CRAPPY HBV CARNIVALS.

>> WHAT YOU LOOKING AT ME FOR?!

>> SO HEAR THIS.

YOU WILL NO LONGER ADD

TO MY UNHAPPINESS.

THE DAYS OF ME BEING QUEEN BEE

TO A BUNCH OF "D"-LIST DESPERATE

HOUSEWIVES ARE OVER!

I QUIT!

I AM DONE WITH THE SUNBEAMS!

>> [ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

>> WAIT! WAIT!

WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!

ALL RIGHT, KIM KARDASHIAN.

>> WITH THE CARROTS.

>> YOU NEED TO LOOSEN

UP THAT BRA.

>> THANK YOU.

>> THANK YOU. OUT! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!

OUT! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!

>> MAN, TEE TEE,

IT'S CRAZY, DAWG.

THE LAST THING I REMEMBER,

I WAS EATING SOME OF YOUR

HAWAIIAN TROPIC WINGS.

THEN THE NEXT THING I KNEW,

I WAS WAKING UP TO YOU

SLAPPING ME...WHICH REMINDS ME.

TOUCH ME AGAIN, I'MA KILL YOU.

AND YOU KICK ME AGAIN,

I'MA KEEP YOUR DAMN FOOT.

YEAH.

>> WELL, LOOK, I WAS TRYING TO

DO THE MATH ON HOW YOUR NIGHT

MIGHT HAVE PLAYED OUT, RIGHT?

>> MM-HMM.

>> SEE, I READ ABOUT THIS WHEN

I WAS LOOKING THROUGH YOUR

12-STEP RECOVERY PROGRAM, RIGHT?

>> MM-HMM.

>> I THINK MY HAWAIIAN TROPIC

WINGS MAY BE THE GATEWAY

TO YOUR DRINKING.

>> THE HELL WITH THAT, TEE TEE.

>> NO, MAN, SERIOUSLY.

THINK ABOUT IT.

THE LAST TIME YOU GOT THIS

MESSED UP WAS WHEN I FIRST

PUT THAT DELECTABLE FLAVOR

ON THE MENU.

>> YEAH, BUT, NO, DAWG, THERE'S

GOT TO BE MORE TO IT THAN THAT.

I MEAN, LOOK AT ME, HOMEY.

I'M FRESH TO DEATH -- FRESH CUT,

CUSTOM-MADE SUIT.

NAH.

>> OH, OH. OKAY.

YOU SAW THE MOVIE "HANGOVER,"

RIGHT?

>> YEAH, TEE TEE, COME ON, DAWG.

YOU KNOW I WAS UP FOR

TYSON'S PART.

>> OH, YEAH. YOU GOT ROBBED.

>> YEAH. EXACTLY.

>> BUT, LOOK, REMEMBER WHEN

THEM GUYS WOKE UP ALL HUNG

OVER, THE FIRST THING THEY DID

WAS LOOK THROUGH THEIR POCKETS

AND WALLETS FOR CLUES.

>> DAMN IT, TEE TEE,

>> DAMN IT, TEE TEE, YOU'RE A GENIUS, BOY.

YOU'RE A GENIUS, BOY.

[ SIGHS ]

[ SIGHS ] THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

WHOA.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

IT'S FROM THE DROP BAR.

WHAT? I SPENT TWO Gs?!

AIN'T NO WAY IN HELL I DRUNK

ALL THAT LIQUOR BY MYSELF.

WHO WAS I WITH?

>> WELL, THERE'S ONE WAY

TO FIND OUT.

TO FIND OUT. >> YO, CHARDONNAY?

>> YO, CHARDONNAY?

YO, CHARDONNAY.

>> OH! HERE YOU GO.

HEY, GUYS.

>> HEY.

>> FOR THOSE RAINY DAYS.

>> BOY!

>> CHARDONNAY, LET ME HOLLA

AT YOU FOR A SECOND.

>> LOOK, MALIK,

IF IT'S ABOUT LAST NIGHT,

DON'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT IT.

PEOPLE TOUCH MY BOOTY ALL

THE TIME.

>> I TOUCHED YOUR BOOTY?

>> OH, YEAH, AND MY LEFT BOOB.

>> I'LL CALL YOUR LAWYER.

>> OKAY, LOOK, CHARDONNAY,

I DO NOT KNOW WHAT HAPPENED

LAST NIGHT, ALL RIGHT,

AND I'M SORRY I DON'T REMEMBER

YOUR BOOTY.

WHAT A NICE BOOTY IT IS.

I SHOULD REMEMBER IT.

BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, PLEASE

DON'T TELL JASON, ALL RIGHT?

WE'RE IN A REALLY GOOD PLACE

RIGHT NOW.

>> LOOK, MALIK, YOU WERE

DRUNK, OKAY? IT'S COOL.

JAVIER, HERE, HE MAY THINK

DIFFERENTLY, 'CAUSE HE DAMN NEAR

BLEW HIS BACK OUT TRYING TO GET

YOU TO YOUR ROOM 'CAUSE

YOU WERE SO DAMN DRUNK.

>> WHAT A CRAPPY NIGHT.

>> IT SEEMED LIKE YOU AND

THE OWNER OF THE SABERS

WAS HAVING A GREAT TIME.

>> ROGER?

>> MM-HMM.

>> WHY WAS I DRINKING

WITH ROGER?

>> HEY, MAYBE Y'ALL WAS

CELEBRATING, LIKE MAYBE HE

GAVE YOU A RAISE OR SOMETHING.

>> OH, I DON'T THINK SO,

BECAUSE IF HE WOULD HAVE GIVEN

HIM A RAISE, HE WOULD HAVE GIVEN

CHARDONNAY A BETTER TIP.

BESIDES, YOU DIDN'T START

DRINKING UNTIL AFTER HE LEFT.

>> I DID?

>> YOU RAN UP THAT TAB ALL BY

YOURSELF AND ONLY TIPPED ME 5%.

>> I WAS DRINKING BY MYSELF?

>> MM-HMM.

>> YO, WHAT IF YOU GOT FIRED?

>> MAYBE THAT'S WHY HE DIDN'T

GIVE ME A BETTER TIP.

>> DAMN, GIRL, HERE! LORD!

>> YES, MALIK. THANK YOU.

>> YES, MALIK. THANK YOU. >> [ SIGHS ]

>> [ SIGHS ]

>> SO, YOU READY FOR

ANOTHER ONE, DEAR?

>> SURE.

OH, AND, UH, I'LL TAKE YOUR

HEART, TOO.

>> OKAY.

>> I'M SERIOUS.

I DON'T SEE A RING

ON YOUR FINGER.

>> HONEY, THE ONLY RING

I GOT IS THE ONE I CAN'T

GET OUT OF THIS GLASS, OKAY?

>> [ WHISTLES ]

>> HI. VODKA TONIC?

>> YEAH, SURE.

>> MM-HMM.

DON'T WORRY, I'M GONNA BE

PUTTING THIS ON YOUR TAB.

>> SO, IT'S KIND OF CRAZY

IN HERE TONIGHT, HUH?

>> YEP.

>> CHARDONNAY...

WHAT'S UP, BABY?

DON'T FORGET ABOUT YOUR

BOY OVER HERE.

>> OKAY.

>> SORRY, THAT'S MY CUE.

>> YEAH, THAT'S MY CUE, TOO.

>> WHAT'S UP?

>> NOTHING, SO I THINK I'M

GONNA TRUST YOU THIS TIME.

>> HOW ABOUT DARK AND SEXY?

>> LET'S DO DARK AND SEXY.

>> I CAN TAKE IT FROM THERE.

>> I CAN TAKE IT FROM THERE. >> GO AHEAD, GIRL.

>> GO AHEAD, GIRL.

>> WHAT THE HELL?

>> [ CHIP CRUNCHING ]

>> I'LL WORK OUT TOMORROW

MORNING.

>> YOU QUIT THE SUNBEAMS?

>> OH, THAT?

WELL, NOW I ACTUALLY HAVE TIME

TO WORK OUT TOMORROW MORNING.

>> MELANIE, HOW CAN YOU DO THAT

WITHOUT TALKING TO ME, HUH?

I THOUGHT WE WERE A TEAM.

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO MAKE DECISIONS

TOGETHER, REMEMBER?

>> UH, I REMEMBER HAVING A TEAM

MEETING WHERE I TOLD YOU

YOU CAN DRESS UP LIKE A BACKUP

DANCER.

>> [ SIGHS ] GEEZ...

MELANIE, IT'S ONE THING WHEN

YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT YOUR

UNHAPPINESS AND BEING CRAZY

AT HOME.

IT'S ANOTHER THING WHEN YOU'RE

AIRING OUR DIRTY LAUNDRY AND --

AND BEING CRAZY OUT TO

THE PUBLIC.

>> YEAH, BUT I'M FED UP

WITH THOSE GIRLS, DERWIN.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I GO

THROUGH DAY IN AND DAY OUT

WITH THEIR PETTY NONSENSE.

>> NO, NO, NONE.

NONE. I DON'T KNOW.

>> BUT, DERWIN, I'M UNHAPPY.

>> YEAH, YOU SAID THAT, MELANIE.

YOU SAID THAT, LIKE,

1,005 TIMES.

>> [ SIGHS ]

LOOK, I WANT TO GO BACK TO

JOHNS HOPKINS AND COMPLETE

MY RESIDENCY AND FINISH WHAT

I STARTED AND BECOME

A PRACTICING DOCTOR.

>> ARE YOU SERIOUS?

>> YES, AS SERIOUS AS THE CANCER

I'D LIKE TO DIAGNOSE ONE DAY.

>> GOD, YOU ARE SO SELFISH.

DON'T YOU KNOW THAT MY CAREER IS

BASED HERE IN SAN DIEGO AND THAT

MY SON IS HERE IN SAN DIEGO?

>> BUT NOT FOR LONG.

HE'LL BE IN NEW YORK.

>> SO, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO

JUST UP AND LEAVE BECAUSE

OF YOUR LATEST WHIM?

I HAVE ONE TIME TO CONCENTRATE

ON MY CAREER AND MY SON, OKAY?

I MEAN, YOU WANT TO GO

TO SCHOOL.

CAN'T YOU JUST WAIT TILL

MY CAREER IS WINDING DOWN OR

D.J. GRADUATES FROM COLLEGE?

>> SO, GREAT -- D.J. IS GONNA

FINISH SCHOOL BEFORE I DO.

>> I DON'T KNOW.

MAYBE YOU GUYS CAN GO TO SCHOOL

TOGETHER.

[ SIGHS ]

I-I DON'T KNOW.

I-I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW.

>> OHH.

IS THERE A PROBLEM, JASON?

>> N-N-N-OPE.

>> THEN YOU ACTING LIKE YOU

DON'T WANT TO BE BOTHERED

WITH ME.

>> OH, I'M THE ONE WHO

DOESN'T WANT TO BE BOTHERED?

YESTERDAY AT THE BAR, YOU GAVE

ME LIKE TWO SECONDS OF YOUR TIME

'CAUSE YOU WERE TOO BUSY

FLIRTING WITH THOSE DRUNKEN

DOUCHE BAGS.

>> [ SCOFFS ]

>> YOU WERE ALSO TOO BUSY

WEARING A SHIRT THAT WAS

TOO TIGHT.

>> BABY, IT WAS A TANK TOP.

>> PLEASE, A TANK TOP'S NOTHING

BUT A HOOKER'S DRESS SHIRT.

>> WOW.

>> AND I OVERHEARD ONE OF THOSE

GUYS ASK IF YOU WERE MARRIED.

YOU DIDN'T CLAIM ME.

YOU DIDN'T TELL HIM ABOUT ME --

ABOUT ME.

I MEAN, I'M ME -- JASON PITTS.

>> DON'T YOU DARE SAY

YOU BROUGHT THIS CITY

A CHAMPIONSHIP.

>> WELL, I DID.

>> BABY, LOOK.

CHARDONNAY IS THE HOT BARTENDER,

OKAY, AND A PART OF MY STEEZ

IS CREATING A FANTASY FOR THESE

MEN -- AN ILLUSION TO MAKE THEM

FEEL LIKE THEY ARE THE MOST

IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD

AT THAT VERY MOMENT.

>> THAT SOUNDS MORE LIKE

THE HOT STRIPPER.

>> HELL, NO, BUT I'M GONNA

TELL YOU LIKE THIS.

BEING ATTENTIVE TO THOSE MEN

IS HOW I MAKE MY LIV--

I MEAN, IT'S HOW I GET MY TIP--

I MEAN, THOSE TIPS IS GONNA

ONE DAY LEAD TO ME OPENING UP

SPADONNAY, DAMN IT, AND UNTIL

I GET THE MONEY TO DO THAT, YOU

GONNA HAVE TO DEAL WITH ME --

>> DEAL WITH YOU BEING

A STRIPPER, YEAH.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT?

IF YOU DON'T WATCH YOUR MOUTH,

YOU CAN GO SOUTH.

>> WHY WOULD I GO SOUTH?

I-I LIVE NORTH OF YOU.

>> I DON'T CARE WHERE YOU LIVE.

BUH-BYE.

>> OKAY, FINE.

HAVE FUN ON THE POLE.

>> WELL, I WON'T BE HAVING

FUN ON YOUR POLE TONIGHT,

NOW, WILL I?

NOW, WILL I? BYE!

BYE!

BYE! >> [ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

>> [ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

>> OH!

WELL, WELL, WELL,

IF IT ISN'T EFFIE.

>> AND WHO ARE YOU,

THE RUN-AWAY SURROGATE?

>> [ DOOR CLOSES ]

>> LOOK, I'M SORRY.

I JUST HAVE A LOT GOING ON.

OHH, DERWIN, HE CALLED ME

"SELFISH."

>> OOH, STOP THE PRESSES.

>> OKAY, I DIDN'T WANT TO GO

HERE WITH YOU, BUT YOU'RE

THE ONE WHO PUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

BEFORE MY MOTHERHOOD, SO WHO'S

REALLY THE SELFISH ONE HERE?

>> NO, I WAS BEING SELFISH

GOOD, OKAY?

AND I'M SURE YOU WERE BEING

SELFISH BAD, BUT LET'S AGREE

TO DISAGREE, ALL RIGHT?

SO, WHAT'S YOUR THING?

>> [ SIGHS ]

SO, I TOLD DERWIN THAT

I WANTED TO FINISH MY RESIDENCY

AT JOHNS HOPKINS, AND THEN

HE CALLED ME "SELFISH."

SO, YOU AGREE WITH HIM?

>> HELL, YES, I AGREE WITH HIM.

LITTLE GIRL, THE TRUTH IS,

YOU'RE A SPOILED, SELFISH, RICH,

LITTLE GIRL WHO AIN'T NEVER HAD

ANY REAL PROBLEMS IN HER LIFE

EXCEPT FOR MAYBE A BUM UTERUS.

YOU'RE MARRIED TO A RICH,

SUCCESSFUL, AND SOME MIGHT

EVEN SAY HANDSOME FOOTBALL

PLAYER, OKAY?

STILL, YOU FIND SOMEHOW,

SOME WAY TO BE UNSATISFIED.

>> HMM?

>> MM-HM, WHILE YOU'RE INSIDE

YOUR LITTLE WARM, COMFY HOUSE,

YOU KNOW, AND YOU'RE PREPARING

YOUR MEALS AND YOU'RE ACTING

LIKE MAMMY, THE REAL WORLD --

THEY'RE OUT THERE IN THE FIELD

PICKING COTTON -- OH, YEAH --

AND TRYING TO FIGURE OUT A WAY

HOW TO FEED THEIR FAMILIES AND

KEEP THEIR SONS OFF THE SAUCE.

>> OH, GOD, ENOUGH WITH

THE SLAVE TALK, TASHA.

SO, WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT THINKING

ABOUT MY OWN WANTS AND NEEDS

IS WRONG?

YOU DID IT.

YOU RENEGED ON OUR FERTILITY

AGREEMENT.

YOU SAID THAT IT WAS TIME FOR

YOU TO PUT YOURSELF FIRST.

SO, WHY CAN'T I DO THE SAME?

>> ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

HEIFER, DAMN, LOOK AT YOU --

YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION!

I LIKES THAT!

LIKE THAT.

OKAY, WELL, LOOK HERE.

ALL RIGHT, NOW, YOU CANPUT

YOURSELF FIRST, OKAY, BUT YOU

GOT TO MAKE A CHOICE, MEL.

I MEAN, COME ON.

I COULDN'T HAVE YOUR BABY

AND HAVE A LIFE WITH POOKIE.

ALL RIGHT, SO IF YOU WANT YOUR

CAREER, YOU GONNA HAVE TO GIVE

UP SOMETHING ELSE.

>> SO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO

CHOOSE BETWEEN MY MARRIAGE

AND MY CAREER?

>> WELL, DON'T ACT LIKE YOU JUST

ALL OF A SUDDEN DON'T KNOW WHAT

ALL OF A SUDDEN DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU SIGNED UP FOR.

THE HELL YOU SIGNED UP FOR.

>> OKAY, LADIES,

HERE'S THE DEALIO.

ACCORDING TO THE GUISE OF

THE MELTDOWN/MENSTRUAL CYCLE

CLAUSE, I'D LIKE TO FORGET

THAT YESTERDAY'S EVENTS EVEN

TRANSPIRED AND BE REINSTATED

AS SUNBEAM PRESIDENT.

OKAY, COOL AGAIN.

SO, FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS.

>> I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY.

>> YOU'LL BE PRESIDENT

OVER MY DEAD BODY!

>> [ GULPS ]

>> I WAS GOING TO SAY THAT IT

WAS YOUR OPEN ADMISSION TO

BEING UNHAPPY THAT INSPIRED

ME TO EVALUATE MY OWN LIFE.

>> OH, OKAY.

WELL, PLEASE CONTINUE.

>> I PURCHASED THE WRONG HOUSE,

AND I AM SICK OF TELLING

YOU ALL HOW AMAZING IT IS.

>> WOW.

>> I'M UNHAPPY, TOO...

WHICH IS WHY I HAVE THE EATING

DISORDER, BUT THAT'S JUST

BECAUSE I'M A CLOSET LESBIAN.

>> I AM, TOO!

UNHAPPY, NOT A LESBIAN.

DON'T GET EXCITED.

SHOOT, I'M TIRED OF WEARING

THESE BIG-ASS HEAVY EARRINGS.

SHOOT, I'M JUST TIRED OF

PUTTING UP A FRONT.

SHOOT, I'M JUST TIRED OF

SAYING "SHOOT."

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT MY BIGGEST

PROBLEM IS?

JUVON AIN'T THE MAN

I REALLY WANTED.

I JUST BEEN LYING TO MYSELF

THIS WHOLE TIME.

THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY IS DERWIN.

>> ANYBODY ELSE BEFORE

I KILL JAS?

>> OKAY, FINE. I ADMIT IT.

DAMN IT, I'M UNHAPPY, TOO.

YOU KNOW, DESPITE MY

BACK-BREAKING EFFORTS, WORKING

ON MY SON'S BEHALF, HE CHOOSES

TO PISS HIS LIFE AWAY OUT THERE

DRINKING WHILE I'M OUT THERE

DRINKING WHILE I'M OUT THERE PICKING COTTON IN THE HOT SUN.

PICKING COTTON IN THE HOT SUN.

>> I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS, MAN.

>> TEE TEE, I DIDN'T GET NO

SLEEP LAST NIGHT THINKING

ABOUT THIS WHOLE ROGER THING.

MAN, COME ON, DAWG.

I GOT TO KNOW.

>> FINE. ALL RIGHT.

>> FINE. ALL RIGHT. STUPID.

STUPID.

UH, HELLO.

UH, THIS IS TASHA MACK...

A.K.A. TASHA THE MACK-NIFICENT!

UH, YEAH.

NOW, LOOK HERE.

UH, I WANT TO SPEAK

TO ROGER KEITH.

NOW, WHAT NOW?

MAN, WHAT THE HELL YOU MEAN

THIS AIN'T TASHA MACK?!

HELLO? HELLO?

THEY AIN'T BUY IT, MAN.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I FORGOT TO SAY "POW, POW, POW,"

DIDN'T I?

>> YEAH, THAT'S WHAT IT WAS,

DUMB-ASS.

LOOK, MAN, IT IS WHAT IT IS,

MAN, YOU KNOW?

GUESS I'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT

TILL TOMORROW TO FIND OUT WHAT

HAPPENED.

HELP ME CLEAN UP THIS STUFF,

TEE TEE.

>> WHAT HAPPENED TO

YOUR MAID SERVICE?

>> WELL, LET'S SAY I SCREWED

MYSELF OUT OF CLEAN SHEETS,

TEE TEE.

>> WELL, HEY, YOU MAY HAVE

TURNED YOUR MOM INTO A SLAVE,

BUT I'M DONE CLEANING UP

YOUR MESSES.

WHAT YOU GOT ON TV?

>> AGAIN THIS NEWS

IS JUST COMING --

>> YO, MALIK, COME CHECK

THIS OUT, MAN.

>> KWAN KIRKLAND WILL HAVE

REHABILITATIVE SURGERY ON HIS

RIGHT KNEE AND MISS THE REST

OF THIS SEASON.

SO, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

FOR SABERS' FANS?

WELL, WITH THE TEAM NOW ON PATH

FOR A CHAMPIONSHIP, THE SEASON

NOW LIES IN THE HANDS OF

MALIK WRIGHT -- WRIGHT, COMING

BACK FROM ALCOHOL REHAB.

>> YO! THAT'S WHAT I'M

TALKING ABOUT, MAN!

WE ON OUR WAY TO A CHAMPIONSHIP.

HEY, MALIK, WHAT YOU DOING, MAN?

>> I'M HAVING A DRINK.

>> NO, WAIT, WAIT.

STOP FOR A MINUTE.

LOOK, ROGER MUST HAVE TOLD YOU

ABOUT KWAN, AND THAT'S WHY YOU

GOT TWISTED.

>> [ CHUCKLES ]

>> DUDE, YOU'RE DRINKING

TO NUMB THE PRESSURE.

>> SO IT'S NOT YOUR WINGS.

>> HEY, HEY, COME ON, NOW.

LOOK, BEFORE YOU TAKE THAT

DRINK, MAN, JUST THINK ABOUT IT.

ARE YOU REALLY WILLING TO THROW

AWAY EVERYTHING YOU'VE BEEN

WORKING FOR, ALL BECAUSE YOU

SCARED OF HAVING EVERYTHING

SCARED OF HAVING EVERYTHING YOU ALWAYS WANTED?

YOU ALWAYS WANTED?

YOU ALWAYS WANTED? >> NAH, NOT TODAY.

>> NAH, NOT TODAY.

>> YOU BELIEVE ME WHEN I TELL

YOU HOW PRETTY YOU ARE?

>> OH, WELL, FOR THAT ONE,

YOU GET ONE ON THE HOUSE.

>> DOES YOUR HUSBAND GET

ONE ON THE HOUSE, TOO?

>> WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU'RE -- YOU'RE MARRIED?

TO JASON PITTS?

>> HAPPILY, HOMEY.

>> WOW.

>> AND I THOUGHT HE LIKED

WHITE CHICKS.

>> OH. OH. OH!

>> WHAT THE HELL, JASON?

A THOUSAND DOLLARS JUST

WALKED OUT THAT DOOR.

>> IN HAIR PLUGS, MAYBE.

>> YOU KNOW I'M NOT GOING TO

MAKE MY GOAL THIS MONTH, RIGHT?

>> NOT WITH THAT ATTITUDE.

LOOK, LISTEN, LISTEN, YOU'RE

GONNA MAKE ALL THE MONEY

YOU NEED TO MAKE, OKAY?

YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?

TONIGHT...I'M PAYING MY BILL.

>> WHAT?!

>> HUH?

>> YOU PAYING THE BILL?

>> YEP.

>> JASON "I BROUGHT THIS CITY

A CHAMPIONSHIP, EVERYTHING

SHOULD BE ON THE HOUSE" PITTS?

>> YEP AND -- WAIT FOR IT,

WAIT FOR IT -- I'M LEAVING

A TIP.

EXCUSE ME?

>> JASON "EUROPE GOT IT RIGHT

WITH THE NO TIP THING" PITTS?

YEAH!

>> I BEEN THINKING ABOUT OUR

CONVERSATION EARLIER, AND I GET

IT NOW, OKAY, AND I'M SORRY.

I COMPLETELY RESPECT AND SUPPORT

THE FACT THAT YOU'RE A HARD-

WORKING WOMAN.

I DO. I DO.

SO, LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU GO

AHEAD, SET UP A COUPLE OF

TABLES FOR ME AND SOME OF MY

CO-WORKERS, BECAUSE TONIGHT...

I'M GETTING BOTTLE SERVICE.

>> WELL, BOTTLE SERVICE STARTS

AT 5 GRAND.

>> NO, I GET IT. LOOK.

MAYBE I'M A JERK FOR INTERFERING

WITH YOUR CUSTOMERS, OKAY?

I CAN BE A LITTLE BIT

CONTROLLING.

AT THE END OF THE DAY, I'M JUST

A MAN WHO DOESN'T WANT OTHER MEN

GETTING HIS -- HIS WIFE'S

ATTENTION.

>> OH, WELL, IT'S FUNNY HOW ALL

OF A SUDDEN I'M YOUR WIFE 'CAUSE

YOU FEEL A LITTLE THREATENED.

BUT I'M GONNA LET THAT SLIDE

'CAUSE YOU JUST A MAN IN LOVE.

>> EXCUSE ME? WHAT?

I DON'T -- I'M --

YOU, UH, YOU HEARD WHAT I SAID

WHEN I SAID WHAT I SAID ABOUT

THE "I" AND THE "LOVE"

AND THE "YOU"?

>> YES, I HEARD YOU TELL ME

YOU LOVE ME THE OTHER NIGHT

YOU LOVE ME THE OTHER NIGHT ON THE BUS, JASON.

ON THE BUS, JASON.

>> IS THERE ANYTHING YOU'D

LIKE TO SAY BACK?

>> NO.

>> REALLY?

>> JASON, YOU KNOW WE BOTH DO

THINGS IN OUR OWN TIME,

AND IF AND WHEN I'M READY

TO SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT

TO YOU, I WILL LET YOU KNOW

IN MY OWN WAY.

>> OKAY. OKAY.

I'M COOL, I'M COOL.

>> MEL.

BOO, YOU ARE KILLING ME.

>> OH, GOD. WHAT NOW?

>> THE AFTERMATH OF YOUR LAST

SUNBEAM MEETING --

IT'S SPREADING LIKE WILDFIRE.

WHAT'S GOING ON, MELANIE? HUH?

HALF THE TEAM DIDN'T SHOW UP

FOR PRACTICE TODAY BECAUSE

THEY'RE DEALING WITH THEIR

HOME LIVES.

LINDSAY'S A LESBIAN?

>> WHO CARES?

>> HER HUSBAND, MELANIE,

THAT'S WHO.

SO CONGRATULATIONS.

YOU MANAGED TO BRING EVERYONE

DOWN WITH YOUR ALLEGED

UNHAPPINESS.

>> MY UNHAPPINESS IS REAL,

DERWIN, NO MATTER HOW BRAVE

A FACE I PUT ON.

MY PAIN IS REAL, AND I AM

GENUINELY UNHAPPY...DERWIN.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM

IS, MELANIE?

YOU DON'T HAVE ANY FAITH.

YOU LACK THE SPIRITUAL

FOUNDATION.

YOU'RE PROBABLY GONNA ROAM

AIMLESSLY THROUGH LIFE

SEARCHING FOR SOMETHING

TO GIVE IT MEANING.

WHAT DO YOU CARE ABOUT?

GUCCI, CHANEL?

>> GOD MADE GUCCI AND CHANEL,

BY THE WAY.

BUT MY RELATIONSHIP WITH

HIM IS A PERSONAL ONE.

AND F.Y.I., I'VE PRAYED

ABOUT THIS.

>> YOU -- YOU PRAYED ABOUT IT?

I WOULD HAVE PAID A MILLION

DOLLARS TO SEE THAT.

>> THE GOD THAT I BELIEVE IN

SPEAKS TO MY HEART, AND MY HEART

WANTS ME TO GO TO JOHNS HOPKINS.

>> I GOT IT THE FIRST TIME, MEL.

>> WELL, YOU SHOULD GET

THIS, TOO.

AS MUCH AS I'D LOVE FOR YOU TO

COME WITH ME AND SUPPORT ME,

I'M WILLING TO GO ALONE.

>> ♪ AND THERE'S NO MORE BLUE

>> HOLD ON A SECOND.

>> ♪ WE ARE FADING AWAY

>> [ SIGHS ]

>> ♪ WE'RE FADING AWAY

♪ WE'RE FADING TO SOMETHING...

>> I GUESS YOU GOT TO FOLLOW

YOUR HEART THEN, RIGHT?

>> ♪ FADING TO BLACK

>> ♪ FADING TO BLACK >> ♪ OH, WHOA, OH ♪

>> ♪ OH, WHOA, OH ♪

>> ♪ OH, WHOA, OH ♪ >> ♪

>> ♪

>> ♪ ♪♪

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