Original subtitles

>> [ GASPS, SCREAMS ]

>> [ GASPS, SCREAMS ] [ SHRIEKS ]

[ SHRIEKS ]

YOU KNOW, THE POLICE WILL BE

HERE ANY MINUTE, SO YOU BETTER

GET OUT OF HERE --

OR ELSE!

>> WHAT? NO, NO, NO.

HEY, MELANIE, I'M JAMEAL!

I'M DERWIN'S COUSIN!

LOOK, KNOW I CALLED HIM.

HE WASN'T PICKING UP THE PHONE,

SO I JUST THOUGHT I'D COME

THROUGH.

THROUGH. CALL HIM. HE'LL TELL YOU.

CALL HIM. HE'LL TELL YOU.

>> HEY, DERWIN, DO YOU HAVE

A COUSIN NAMED JAMAL?

>> UH, IT'S ACTUALLY JAMEAL.

I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE TO --

>> WAIT, WAIT.

SO -- SO HE'S YOUR PLAYCOUSIN?

>> YO! HEY!

TELL DERWIN THAT THIS PLACE IS

MONEY, BABY.

Y'ALL ARE EATING!

SPEAKING OF EATING, I'M HUNGRY.

I KNOW Y'ALL GOT FOOD IN THERE.

>> OH, GOD, CAN'T IT JUST WAIT

UNTIL YOU COME HOME?

OKAY, FINE, FINE.

I'LL LET HIM IN.

>> WHOO!

>> WHOO! WHAT'S U-U-U-P?!

WHAT'S U-U-U-P?!

WHAT'S U-U-U-P?! >> WOW, THAT WAS FAST.

>> WOW, THAT WAS FAST.

>> WOW, THAT WAS FAST. >> ♪♪

>> ♪♪

>> UM, SO, THESE AFRICAN?

>> YO, NINJA.

>> OH!

WHAT UP, BOY?!

D-DAY!

JAMEAL'S ON WHEELS

WITH THE DEALS!

>> YO, WHAT UP?

>> WHAT'S UP, MAN?

>> OH, MAN, IT'S GOOD TO SEE

YOU, BOY.

>> MAN, GOOD TO SEE YOU, MAN.

WHOO! D-DAY!

>> D-DAY, CAN I TALK TO YOU

FOR A SECOND?

>> YEAH, WHAT'S UP, BOO?

>> GO AHEAD AND HANDLE THAT.

I'M GONNA MAKE ME A SNACK WHILE

YOU ALL HAVE A LITTLE CHITCHAT.

>> WHAT'S UP, BOO?

>> WHO IS THIS GUY?

>> OH, THAT'S MY MAN JAMEAL FROM

WAY BACK IN THE DAY.

>> OKAY, HOW COME YOU NEVER

MENTIONED HIM TO ME?

>> WE KIND OF FELL OUT OF TOUCH.

LOOK, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK.

WE JUST HAVE DINNER WITH HIM,

AND THEN HE'LL BE ON HIS WAY.

IT'S ALL GOOD.

>> [ CLEARS THROAT ]

Y'ALL DONE GOSSIPING ABOUT ME?

>> WE AIN'T GOSSIPING.

I WAS JUST FILLING WIFEY

IN ON OUR HISTORY, IS ALL.

THAT'S IT.

>> HEY, WE PRACTICALLY RAISED

EACH OTHER, YOU KNOW.

HIS GRANDMA USED TO GIVE ME

WHUPPINGS.

MY GRANDMA USED TO GIVE HIM

HICKEYS.

HEY, SHE WAS 25, SO IT WAS COOL.

[ SNORTS ]

YO, SHE BELIEVE THAT.

LET HER KNOW HOW I DO, "D."

>> OH, MY GOD, NO, HE HAS,

LIKE, THIS CREATIVE WAY OF,

LIKE, SAYING THE SIMPLEST

THINGS.

>> HUH.

SO, UM, HOW LONG ARE YOU GONNA

BE HERE IN SAN DIEGO, JAMAL?

>> IT'S JAMEAL, FAM,

AND LOOK --

I DON'T KNOW, I PROBABLY...

I GOT A COUPLE OF JOB PROSPECTS

I GOT TO LOOK INTO.

GOT A COUPLE OF CHICKEN

HEADS I GOT TO SMASH.

YOU KNOW HOW IT IS.

>> HMM. NOT REALLY.

SO, WHERE ARE YOU STAYING?

>> I DON'T KNOW.

I MEAN, IS THE DERWIN DAVIS

INN OPEN FOR BUSINESS?

'CAUSE I LOVE Y'ALL.

I MEAN, IT'S ALL GOOD, RIGHT,

MAN?

>> YEAH, MAN, IT'S ALL GOOD.

YOU WANT SOME MILK WITH THAT?

>> OH, YEAH, FOR SURE.

>> MALIK, I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU

LET THIS MAIL JUST PILE UP LIKE

THIS.

>> I'VE BEEN BUSY, MA.

>> BUSY? BUSY DOING WHAT?

HELL, YOU COULD HAVE READ THIS

AT THE GAME WHILE YOU WERE

SITTING ON THE BENCH.

>> OH, HO, HO, HO.

>> OKAY. OKAY. MY BAD.

ALL RIGHT, I KNOW THAT

WAS A LOW BLOW.

UNH-UNH.

WELL, AT LEAST YOU OPENED UP

THIS ONE.

IT'S FROM YOUR OLD STOMPING

GROUND.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I

LOVE KEEPING UP ON WHAT'S GOING

ON AT MAGIC JOHNSON ELEMENTARY.

>> I DON'T.

>> "BECAUSE OF YOUR CONTINUED

GENEROSITY, WE WOULD LIKE TO

CORDIALLY INVITE YOU TO THE

DEDICATION CEREMONY OF THE NEW

MALIK EL DEBARGE WRIGHT

LIBRARY."

MALIK, THEY NAMING A LIBRARY

AFTER YOU!

TAKE THAT, MAGIC.

[ LAUGHS ]

BOY, THIS THING IS IN TWO DAYS.

WHY THE HELL YOU AIN'T TOLD ME

ABOUT THIS?

>> MA, LOOK, I DON'T KNOW.

I GUESS IT JUST SLIPPED MY MIND

OR SOMETHING, ALL RIGHT?

>> ARE YOU TRIPPING?

THIS IS HUGE, MALIK.

OKAY, THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT WE

NEED TO REHABILITATE YOUR IMAGE.

>> I CAN'T JUST GET UP AND GO

EVERY TIME SOMEBODY WANTS TO

NAME A BUILDING AFTER ME.

[ SCOFFS ]

>> ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

PLEASE, 'CAUSE AIN'T NOBODY ELSE

TRYING TO NAME NOTHING ELSE

AFTER YOU, EXCEPT MAYBE

A DAMN DRINK.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT, MA?

YOU'RE DOING TOO MUCH RIGHT NOW.

>> OKAY, LOOK, I'M SORRY,

ALL RIGHT?

HELL, KELLY GONE.

I'M TRYING TO BE NICE

TO MELANIE.

TEE TEE -- HE DONE GOT TOO GOOD

ON HIS RETORTS.

HELL, I GOT TO HIT SOMEBODY UP.

>> MA, I JUST DON'T WANT TO GO

HOME RIGHT NOW, OKAY?

HOME RIGHT NOW, OKAY? ALL RIGHT? JUST NOT NOW.

ALL RIGHT? JUST NOT NOW.

>> MALIK?

WHAT'S GOING ON, BABY?

TALK TO ME.

OH, LORD, DID SOMEBODY

TOUCH YOU?

WAS IT AUNT GEORGE?

'CAUSE IF IT WAS, I WILL KILL

HIS ASS.

MALIK?

>> I'M SUPPOSED TO GO HOME

A HERO...AFTER THROWING

A WINNING TOUCHDOWN FOR

THE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME.

NOT NO DAMN BENCH WARMER.

I CAN'T GO BACK TO RICHMOND

NO LOSER.

>> MALIK, YOU ARE -- YOU ARE

MALIK EL DEBARGE WRIGHT.

OKAY, IF YOU DON'T SHOW UP AND

YOU DISAPPOINT ALL THOSE PEOPLE,

THENYOU WILL BE A LOSER.

>> YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND.

>> NO, YOUJUST DON'T

UNDERSTAND, OKAY?

YOU CAN'T LOOK BACK IF YOU'RE

STANDING STILL WHEN YOU'RE

TRYING TO MOVE FORWARD.

MALIK, MOST OF THOSE KIDS FROM

RICHMOND -- THEY WILL PROBABLY

NEVER HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO

PLAY PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL.

BABY, I AM NOT GONNA LET YOU

DISAPPOINT ALL THOSE KIDS

DISAPPOINT ALL THOSE KIDS BECAUSE OF YOUR DAMN EGO.

BECAUSE OF YOUR DAMN EGO.

>> OKAY.

ALL RIGHT.

I'MA GO.

>> ALL RIGHT.

>> BUT ONLY IF WE GET TO SEE

GRANDMA.

>> BOY, I AIN'T TRYING --

>> WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT THE KIDS,

MA, HUH?

THINK ABOUT THE KIDS, REMEMBER?

THE KIDS.

>> ALL RIGHT, FINE, OKAY?

WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GET YOU

THERE, ALL RIGHT?

BUT WE GONNA DIP IN AND WE

GONNA DIP OUT, ALL RIGHT?

JUST LIKE SOME FONDUE.

MOVING OUT.

MOVING OUT. >> [ SHUDDERING ]

>> [ SHUDDERING ]

>> OKAY, THAT'S NEW.

>> YOUR COUSIN IS GIVING ME A

BAD CASE OF THE HEEBIE-JEEBIES.

>> OH, SO THAT'S WHAT THAT

WAS, 'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT IT

LOOKED LIKE.

>> HE LEFT A KNIFE HE USED

TO MAKE A PEANUT-BUTTER SANDWICH

IN THE SINK -- WITHOUT

COMPLETELY RINSING IT OFF.

OH, GOD!

HE DID THE HALF RINSE, DERWIN.

>> LOOK, MELANIE, WE HAVE BIGGER

ISSUES THAN THE HALF RINSE.

>> I KNOW. RIGHT?

GOD, HE ALSO LEAVES THE FAN

ON IN THE BATHROOM.

I MEAN, WHO DOES THAT?

>> JAMEAL.

BUT TRUST, THAT'S A GOOD

THING, OKAY?

ALSO SHOWS UP UNANNOUNCED,

ASKS FOR MONEY, HUSTLES PEOPLE,

AND --

>> USES MY OLIVE FORKS TO

PICK HIS TEETH.

[ SIGHS ]

DERWIN, YOU KNOW I HATE TO

USE THE "G" WORD, BUT IT IS

SUPER GHETTO.

OH, AND THEN DURING DINNER --

>> WHOA, I HEAR YOU.

YOU'RE PREACHING TO THE CHOIR.

BUT WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

KICK MY BOY OUT?

>> YES. WHY NOT?

IT'S THE NON-GHETTO THING

TO DO.

>> UNH-UNH, I CAN'T, BECAUSE

HE'S GONNA GO BACK HOME,

TELL ALL MY PEOPLE,

"OH, DERWIN DAVIS --

HE'S TOO GOOD NOW."

>> GOOD.

LET THEM TAKE IT AS A WARNING.

"STAY AWAY."

>> MELANIE, I CAN'T DO THAT.

I DON'T WANT TO BE THAT DUDE.

>> WHAT DUDE?

>> THE DUDE WHO TURNS HIS

BACK ON HIS BOYS THE MINUTE

HE GETS RICH.

>> DERWIN, YOU'VE ALREADY

DONE THAT, BABY.

LOOK, LET ME BE THE SCAPEGOAT,

OKAY?

TELL YOUR BOY HE HAS TO LEAVE

BECAUSE YOUR WIFE IS

UNCOMFORTABLE, 'CAUSE SHE IS.

>> GLAD I CAN AMUSE YOU.

WE DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS WHEN

YOUR PEOPLE COME INTO TOWN.

>> NO, BECAUSE MY PEOPLE STAY IN

A HOTEL -- IN DIFFERENT ROOMS,

ON DIFFERENT FLOORS.

ON DIFFERENT FLOORS. GOD, I LOVE MY FAMILY.

GOD, I LOVE MY FAMILY.

>> WHOO!

THE NEIGHBORHOOD STILL

LOOK THE SAME.

LOOK THE SAME. >> YEP. STILL CRACK-ISH.

>> YEP. STILL CRACK-ISH.

[ SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE ]

>> [ EXHALES DEEPLY ]

ALL RIGHT, MAMA.

NOW, DON'T GO IN HERE, TALK

ABOUT MY FINANCIAL SITUATION

TO NOBODY, NOW.

I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE

TOO LONG.

>> I DON'T WANT TO, EITHER.

WE'RE GONNA GET IN, GET OUT.

>> WANT TO GET BACK AND GET SOME

REST BEFORE MY LI-BARY

DEDICATION TOMORROW.

>> MAN, THE WORD IS "LIBRARY."

THE IRONY OF THIS EVENT.

>> WELL, LOOK WHAT THE CAT

DRUG IN.

OH! MY FAVORITE GRANDBABY!

>> I MISS YOU, GRANDMA MACK.

[ SMOOCHES ]

>> HEY, TEE TEE.

[ LAUGHS ]

>> MAMA.

>> OH!

TASHA.

>> WELCOME HOME, Y'ALL.

>> WHAT'S UP, POOK?

>> WHY DON'T YOU GET IN HERE

AND GIVE YOUR PEOPLE SOME LOVE?

[ ALL CHEERING ]

>> YO!

>> YO! WOW.

WOW.

>> WHOO.

MAMA, I TOLD YOU NOT TO CREATE

SUCH A RUCKUS.

>> AIN'T NOBODY THINKING

ABOUT YOU.

IT'S FOR MY FAMOUS GRANDBABY.

>> GOSH, ALL THESE PEOPLE

SHOWING UP FOR ME?

>> IT'S ALL YOU, MALIK.

DON'T EVEN GOT NOTHING TO DO

WITH THE SLAMMIN' RIBS

GRAMMY MACK BE MAKING.

>> OH, THANK YOU, TERRENCE.

SEE, TASH, A GENUINE

FOOD-SERVICE PROFESSIONAL JUST

SAID HE LIKES MY COOKING.

YOU KNOW, TERRENCE, I WAS

TALKING TO YOUR MOTHER

JUST THE OTHER DAY.

I SAID TO HER, "TERRENCE SHOULD

HAVE HIS OWN SHOW ON THE FOOD

NETWORK AFTER 'THE NEELYS,'

'CAUSE THAT WOMAN -- SHE CAN'T

COOK HER WAY OUT OF A BAGGY."

>> THANK YOU.

OH, HOW'S MY MOM DOING?

>> OH, SHE GOOD. SHE GOOD.

>> TELL HER TO CALL ME.

>> ALL RIGHT.

>> YOU KNOW HER SAUCE IS

STORE-BOUGHT, RIGHT?

>> WHAT NOW?

>> NOTHING NOW.

>> SPEAKING OF SAUCE, WHERE IS

>> SPEAKING OF SAUCE, WHERE IS THAT FINE-ASS RICK FOX?

THAT FINE-ASS RICK FOX?

Y'ALL KNOW THAT TASHA RAN OFF

WITH THAT FINE-ASS RICK FOX,

DON'T YOU?

I AIN'T EVEN MET HIM.

>> MAMA, PLEASE, CAN WE START

A NEW CONVERSATION?

WE'VE BEEN ON THIS ONE FOR WHAT?

TWO OR THREE YEARS NOW?

>> TWO YEARS, SEVEN MONTHS,

AND THREE DAYS.

HE WAS ON "DANCING WITH

THE STARS" LONGER THAN HE WAS

WITH YOU.

CAN YOU BELIEVE, Y'ALL?

TASHA DONE RAN OFF WITH THAT

FINE-ASS RICK FOX!

WHOO!

WHOO! [ LAUGHS ]

[ LAUGHS ]

>> HEY, WHAT'S UP, MY DUDE?

>> OH, "D" TO THE DOUBLE "D."

>> WHAT'S UP, FAM?

>> YOU GOOD?

>> YOU GOOD? >> OH, YEAH.

>> OH, YEAH.

>> HEY, UH, LOOK, JAMEAL, MAN,

I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT

THE HALF-RINSE THING.

>> SAY WHAT?

>> THE HALF-RINSE THING WITH

THE -- WITH THE KNIFE.

MY GIRL'S NOT HAVING IT.

>> OH, MY BAD.

I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE IT WAS

AN ISSUE.

I MEAN, Y'ALL GOT A MAID.

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT SHE

WASHED DISHES.

>> NO, I KNOW.

I MEAN, SHE DOESN'T.

BUT MELANIE IS STILL KIND OF --

>> HMM?

>> LOOK, BRO, OKAY, MY GIRL BE

TRIPPING, OKAY?

>> CHICKS BE TRIPPING!

>> YEAH. YEAH.

EXACTLY. RIGHT. OKAY.

LET ME JUST TELL YOU SOMETHING.

DON'T GET MARRIED.

GIRLS -- THEY WILL CUT YOUR

JEWELS OFF, MAN, AND HANG THEM

AROUND THEIR NECK LIKE A CHARM.

YOU FEEL ME?

LOOK, BRO, IF IT WAS UP TO ME,

YOU CAN RINSE THAT KNIFE OFF

HOWEVER YOU WANT.

HELL, YOU CAN EAT THE PEANUT

BUTTER OUT THE JAR, FOR ALL

I CARE -- LIKE ALL OF THAT.

OKAY?

IF IT WAS UP TO ME,

YOU COULD STAY HERE FOREVER,

'CAUSE WE BOYS.

>> YEAH. YEAH.

>> AND YOU KNOW I'M THAT NINJA.

>> UH-HUH.

>> MAKE SURE YOU TELL MY

GRANDMA.

>> NO DOUBT.

>> AS FAR AS MY GIRL --

>> THE OLD LADY.

>> YEAH, THE BALL AND CHAIN.

SHE IS A NIGHTMARE, OKAY?

SHE GOT A GRIP SO TIGHT,

SHE GOT A GRIP SO TIGHT, LIKE A VICE.

LIKE A VICE.

CAN YOU SAVE ME?

>> LOOK, HEY, I DIDN'T EVEN

REALIZE, MAN.

FIRST OF ALL, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU

WAS GONNA MARRY HER.

I MEAN, ALL THE CHICKS YOU

USED TO GET BACK IN THE DAY.

AND I TOLD THE FELLAS.

I WAS, LIKE, "LOOK, DERWIN

IS A PIMP."

YOU GOT A MEAL TICKET AND YOU

RIDING IT OUT, BROTHER.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

BUT FAR BE IT FROM ME TO COME IN

HERE AND MESS UP YOUR SITUATION,

'CAUSE YOU MY BROTHER.

BUT I'M A LITTLE SAD BECAUSE

I HAD A HELL OF A HOOK-UP

FOR YOU, MAN.

>> WELL, HEY, WITH THAT BEING

SAID, I APPRECIATE IT.

>> DID YOU SAY "HOOK-UP"?

>> HEY, BABY.

UM, YEAH. HE --

>> YEAH, I GOT "D" THIS LITTLE

GIG TONIGHT AT CLUB BULLETPROOF,

BUT I DIDN'T THINK --

>> YOU DIDN'T THINK WHAT?

YOU DIDN'T THINK THAT HIS WIFE

WOULD BE SUCH A CONTROLLING

SHREW?

>> EXACTLY. I'M SAYING --

>> NO, I THINK JAMEAL KNOWS

THAT MY WIFE HAS --

>> YOUR JEWELS IN MY PURSE?

>> ACTUALLY, IT'S JEWELS ON

A CHAIN.

IF YOU SAY "JEWELS ON

A PURSE," IT DON'T MAKE SENSE.

>> BE THAT AS IT MAY,

I THINK THAT CLUB BULLET HOLE --

>> NO, NO. BULLETPROOF.

MELANIE, YOU DON'T NEED TO GO NO

FURTHER -- OKAY? -- 'CAUSE I

KNOW -- WE KNOW IT'S GONNA BE

GHETTO AND YOU DON'T LIKE

THE GHETTO THING.

>> WELL, SOME MIGHT CALL IT

GHETTO, BUT I CALL IT FUN.

I THINK YOU SHOULD DO IT.

>> WHAT?!

>> YEAH!

>> NO, MELANIE, 'CAUSE, LIKE,

I-I-I KNOW HOW YOU WORRY ABOUT

THAT STUFF.

>> YO, YO, SON, WHAT'S THERE

TO WORRY ABOUT?

LOOK, WE GOT BOTTLE SERVICE ALL

NIGHT, OKAY?

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

WE GOT THE DRINKS, AND YOU

GETTING PAID $20,000.

MAYBE $16,000, 'CAUSE I NEED MY

20% COMMISSION.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

THAT'S A FAMILY DISCOUNT,

BY THE WAY.

>> OKAY, LISTEN, LISTEN.

'CAUSE, YOU KNOW, MELANIE AND

I BOTH KNOW THAT BULLETPROOF

SOMETIMES GETS OUT OF CONTROL

AND THEIR SECURITY IS A LITTLE

SUSPECT, AND YOU KNOW HOW

DANGEROUS THAT COULD BE FOR

ME, SO --

>> I'M TELLING YOU, I GOT YOU.

I ALREADY TOOK CARE OF

THE WHOLE SITUATION.

WE GOT BODYGUARDS.

WE GOT BULLETPROOF VESTS,

COURTESY OF CLUB BULLETPROOF.

I GOT THE WORKS, MAN.

>> OKAY, MELANIE --

>> WHAT'S THE MATTER, DAWG?

>> WHAT'S THE MATTER, DAWG? HE GOT YOU.

HE GOT YOU.

>> LIKE I ALWAYS SAY, POOK,

PARENTS ARE ALWAYS BETTER WITH

A TEQUILA CHASER.

>> [ CHUCKLES ]

JUST LIKE OLD TIMES.

>> YEAH, EXCEPT YOU AIN'T

PREGNANT AND YOU AIN'T IN

PRISON.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT, MAMA?

>> TASH.

>> NO, NO, NO, NO.

I'M SORRY. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

MAMA, IT'S BEEN 27 YEARS.

WHEN YOU GONNA GET OVER THE FACT

THAT I HAD A BABY AT 15?

>> OH, AND DON'T FORGET --

IT WAS OUT OF WEDLOCK.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT?

I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF

THIS, MAMA.

THIS, MAMA. >> I'M GONNA GO GET SOME PIE.

>> I'M GONNA GO GET SOME PIE.

>> LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING,

LITTLE GIRL.

JUST BECAUSE YOU LIVE IN SOME

HIGHFALUTIN' HOTEL WITH SERVANTS

WAITING ON YOU HAND AND FOOT

DON'T MEAN YOU CAN COME UP IN

HERE AND ACT LIKE YOU

THE QUEEN OF SHEBA.

SO DON'T YOU EVER FORGET TO SHOW

YOUR RESPECT WHEN YOU COME UP

IN MY HOUSE.

>> WHICH I PAID FOR AND

REMODELED.

>> WITH MY GRANDBABY'S MONEY.

>> WHO I GAVE BIRTH TO.

>> WHO I GAVE BIRTH TO. >> AT 15!

>> AT 15!

[ SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE ]

>> I'M -- I'M SORRY.

OKAY?

I'M SORRY THAT I GOT PREGNANT

BEFORE ALL YOUR GIRLFRIENDS'

DAUGHTERS GOT PREGNANT, OKAY?

AND I'M SORRY I DIDN'T BREAK

THE CHAIN OF TEENAGE PREGNANCY

IN OUR FAMILY, AND I'M SORRY

THAT WHAT I BECAME -- IT AIN'T

ENOUGH FOR YOU.

ENOUGH FOR YOU. BUT I RESPECT YOU, MAMA.

BUT I RESPECT YOU, MAMA.

I JUST WISH YOU DID THE SAME

I JUST WISH YOU DID THE SAME FOR ME.

FOR ME.

FOR ME. [ ALL CHEERING ]

[ ALL CHEERING ]

>> YO, I DID NOT KNOW THAT MANY

PEOPLE WAS GONNA SHOW UP.

"J," THIS IS CRAZY.

>> MAN, HIRING THAT SKY

WRITER -- BAD IDEA.

>> SEE, "J," THIS RIGHT HERE

IS WHY I STOPPED MESSING WITH

YOUR BEHIND.

>> WHAT?! THIS IS FOR US.

>> BUT WE IN A UTILITY CLOSET.

STUFF LIKE THIS IS WHY

I DON'T CALL YOU NO MORE.

>> OKAY, THERE IT IS.

>> NO, NO, NO.

THIS IS HOW IT BE.

THE LAST TIME I EVER GOT IN

TROUBLE OR GOT ARRESTED,

I WAS WITH YOU.

>> HOW MANY TIMES YOU WANT ME

TO APOLOGIZE ABOUT LEAVING THAT

WEED IN YOUR CAR, DERWIN?

HALLMARK DON'T MAKE CARDS FOR

THAT, OKAY?

>> KNOW WHAT? IT'S A WRAP, MAN.

YOU AIN'T MY COUSIN.

YOU AIN'T MY BOY.

LOSE MY NUMBER!

>> REALLY? REALLY?

IT'S LIKE THAT?

YOU THAT DUDE NOW?

>> NO. NO.

THAT'S JUST IT.

I'M NOT A DUDE.

I'M A GROWN MAN WITH A WIFE

AND A SON AND A JOB.

>> I GOT A JOB.

>> OKAY, WHAT'S YOUR JOB, HUH?

'CAUSE IF IT'S GETTING MY ASS

IN TROUBLE, YOUR BEHIND

IS FIRED.

>> YOU CAN'T FIRE ME. I QUIT.

NOW, HOW ABOUT THAT, HUH?

LOOK, I MIGHT NOT BE SOME

BIG-TIME FOOTBALL PLAYER --

OKAY? -- BUT I'M GOOD WITH MY

DECISIONS, ALL RIGHT?

I DON'T NEED NOTHING

FROM YOU, MAN.

[ GUNSHOTS IN DISTANCE ]

>> GET DOWN!

>> OH, MY -- OKAY.

ALL RIGHT.

OKAY, MAN, THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN

A BAD DECISION -- THAT ONE.

>> YEAH, YOU THINK? YOU THINK?

>> LOOK, CUZ, CUZ.

>> WHAT?

>> LISTEN TO ME, MAN.

I SWEAR TO YOU, LOOK,

I DIDN'T KNOW NONE OF THIS

WAS ABOUT TO HAPPEN, MAN.

I SWEAR ON MY GRANDMA, MAN.

LOOK AT ME.

>> I'M LOOKING AT YOU!

>> I WOULD NEVER PUT YOU IN A

DANGEROUS POSITION ON PURPOSE,

DAWG.

>> OKAY, LISTEN, JUST BECAUSE

YOU DON'T DO IT ON PURPOSE

DOESN'T MAKE IT RIGHT, OKAY?

YOU'RE MY MAN.

YOU'RE MY COUSIN.

I'VE KNOWN YOU SINCE I WAS 5,

BUT NEXT TIME YOU COME TO

SAN DIEGO, YOU'RE STAYING IN

A HOTEL.

>> AND I HEAR PEOPLE TALKING,

SAYING HOW I DON'T COME AROUND

NO MORE.

I DON'T COME AROUND

'CAUSE OF THAT.

I'M TELLING YOU, I'M DONE, POOK.

I MEAN, WHO SHE THINK SHE'S

FOOLING?

SHE GOT THAT LITTLE

WEDDING RING ON.

SHE AIN'T SEEN NO PARTS

OF A MAN IN 40 YEARS.

>> LISTEN...

LISTEN...

DON'T TELL YOUR MAMA THIS,

BECAUSE SHE'LL WHUP ME

WITH MY BELT.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

>> MM-HMM.

>> TRUST ME WHEN I TELL YOU.

>> WHAT?

>> ANYTIME YOU AIN'T AROUND,

THAT'S ALL SHE EVER DOES

IS BRAG ABOUT MALIK AND YOU.

>> REALLY?

>> REALLY. YEAH.

SHE GOT HUSHED IN CHURCH JUST

LAST WEEK FOR DOING THE SAME

THING.

"HALLELUJAH.

MY DAUGHTER'S ON THE COVER OF

ESSENCE.

PRAISE THE LORD.

SHE OWNS GATORADE."

[ CHUCKLES ]

WHY CORRECT HER?

>> WELL, THAT HELPED...

EVEN IF YOU ARE LYING.

>> WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.

NOW, I'VE DONE A LOT OF THINGS

IN MY LIFE, BUT THAT,

I HAVE NOT.

>> YOU'RE RIGHT.

I'M SORRY.

YOU HAVE NEVER LET ME DOWN,

EITHER, POOK.

YOU ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I EVER

TOLD YOU THIS, BUT...

THANKS FOR ALWAYS BEING THERE

FOR MALIK.

YOU TAUGHT HIM HOW TO BE

YOU TAUGHT HIM HOW TO BE A REAL MAN.

A REAL MAN.

>> A REAL MAN KNOWS HOW TO HOLD

UP HIS HEAD AND FACE ADVERSITY.

BUT I THINK YOU TAUGHT HIM THAT.

>> [ CHUCKLES ]

>> WHERE MY BABY AT?

WHERE MY BABY AT?

>> [ LAUGHING ]

>> WHERE MY BABY AT?

>> SO, HOW WAS IT?

SUPER FUN?

>> WE WAS CRACKING.

YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE.

I KNOW I'M NOT A DRINKER,

BUT WE GOT BOTTLE SERVICE

AND THE DEEJAY -- HE WAS DOING

THIS THING LIKE...

I WAS LIKE, "DERWIN KILLING

HIM, DERW--"

>> AH. "DERWIN DAVIS CAUGHT

IN THE CROSS FIRE."

>> DAMN, BLACK PEOPLE KNOW

THEY BE BLOGGING.

[ SIGHS ]

OH, YOU WAS RIGHT ABOUT JAMEAL.

>> MM-HMM.

>> [ SMOOCHES ]

[ SIGHS ]

>> DERWIN, TRUTH MOMENT?

>> I WAS COUNTING ON ONE.

>> WE'RE A TEAM, RIGHT?

>> YEAH, OF COURSE.

>> OKAY. ALL RIGHT.

SO, IN THE FUTURE, TEAMMATE,

IF I HAVE A CONCERN ABOUT

SOMETHING, I NEED TO KNOW THAT

YOU HAVE MY BACK AND YOU'RE NOT

GONNA THROW ME UNDER THE BUS.

I MEAN, ALL I WANTED WAS

THE KNIFE TO BE RINSED PROPERLY

SO THE DISHWASHER DIDN'T HAVE

SO THE DISHWASHER DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THE EXTRA WORK...

TO DO THE EXTRA WORK...

AND I BECAME A --

>> A WITCH.

>> A WHAT?!

>> HUH?

YOU WAS RIGHT.

YOU WAS RIGHT.

>> [ CHUCKLES ]

I KNOW.

GOOD NIGHT.

[ SMOOCHES ]

>> GOOD NIGHT, BOO-BOO.

YOU KNOW...

I THINK I COULD SHOW YOU

A GOOD NIGHT.

>> HEY! SWEET DREAMS, Y'ALL!

>> OKAY, BABY STEPS, MELANIE.

BABY STEPS.

>> YOU KNOW, I ALMOST DIDN'T

EVEN COME HERE TODAY, 'CAUSE

I WAS WORRIED ABOUT WHAT Y'ALL

MIGHT THINK ABOUT ME.

THOUGHT Y'ALL MIGHT LAUGH

AT ME BECAUSE OF MY RECENT

MISHAPS AND --

[ SIGHS ]

TODAY, UH, I LEARNED A LESSON.

TODAY, I LEARNED THAT YOU GUYS

HAVE BEEN AND ALWAYS ARE THERE

FOR ME...

EVEN WHEN THE REST OF THE WORLD

WENT CHECKING FOR MALIK WRIGHT.

>> WE LOVE YOU, MALIK.

>> MAN, I LOVE Y'ALL, TOO.

Y'ALL AIN'T NEVER SLIPPED ON

MALIK WRIGHT AND FOR THAT, MAN,

I LOVE YOU GUYS, MAN.

I APPRECIATE YOU.

I APPRECIATE YOU. THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU. >> ♪

>> ♪

>> ♪ ♪♪

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