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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,448 --> 00:00:04,688 >> OKEYDOKEY. 2 00:00:04,689 --> 00:00:07,209 LET'S SEE, THAT'S ONE FOR ME... 3 00:00:07,206 --> 00:00:08,376 ONE FOR THE LITTLE MAN WITH THE 4 00:00:08,379 --> 00:00:09,029 HOT-WING PLAN. 5 00:00:09,034 --> 00:00:09,794 >> THANK YOU, SIR. 6 00:00:09,793 --> 00:00:11,103 >> OH, AND NONE FOR THE FORMERLY 7 00:00:11,103 --> 00:00:12,453 PILL-TOPPING YET RECENTLY SOBER, 8 00:00:12,448 --> 00:00:13,518 TERMINALLY BENCH-WARMING 9 00:00:13,517 --> 00:00:16,997 SABERS QUARTERBACK. 10 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:19,070 AND, OH, NADA FOR THE 11 00:00:19,068 --> 00:00:19,898 CRANBERRY-JUICE-SIPPING, 12 00:00:19,896 --> 00:00:21,066 VAJAYJAY-WHIPPED CHURCH BOY, 13 00:00:21,068 --> 00:00:22,308 WHICH MAKES ME HAPPY I SPRUNG 14 00:00:22,310 --> 00:00:23,000 FOR THE GOOD STUFF. 15 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:23,660 >> YES, SIR. 16 00:00:23,655 --> 00:00:24,305 >> TINK. 17 00:00:24,310 --> 00:00:26,000 >> ALL RIGHT, MAN, SO, WHAT... 18 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:27,970 >> ALL RIGHT, MAN, SO, WHAT... [ GULPING ] 19 00:00:27,965 --> 00:00:31,655 [ GULPING ] 20 00:00:31,655 --> 00:00:32,965 >> [ SIGHS ] 21 00:00:32,965 --> 00:00:35,615 WHAT Y'ALL FOOLS LOOKING AT? 22 00:00:35,620 --> 00:00:37,660 >> UH, NOTHING, NOTHING. 23 00:00:37,655 --> 00:00:38,655 OKAY, WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? 24 00:00:38,655 --> 00:00:39,755 LET'S TRY TO FIGURE THIS OUT. 25 00:00:39,758 --> 00:00:40,898 ALL RIGHT? WHAT HAPPENED? 26 00:00:40,896 --> 00:00:41,926 SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUR 27 00:00:41,931 --> 00:00:42,591 GRANDMA? 28 00:00:42,586 --> 00:00:43,996 >> WHAT, IS SHE STILL SORE AT ME 29 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,340 ALLEGEDLY STEALING HER CHICKEN 30 00:00:45,344 --> 00:00:46,034 RECIPE? 31 00:00:46,034 --> 00:00:47,244 'CAUSE Y'ALL KNOW I USE PAPRIKA, 32 00:00:47,241 --> 00:00:47,931 RIGHT? 33 00:00:47,931 --> 00:00:49,171 >> GRAMS IS COOL, AND I'M 34 00:00:49,172 --> 00:00:49,862 THE FONZ. 35 00:00:49,862 --> 00:00:51,382 WHAT, A GROWN MAN CAN'T HAVE A 36 00:00:51,379 --> 00:00:52,549 BEER EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE? 37 00:00:52,551 --> 00:00:53,211 COME ON. 38 00:00:53,206 --> 00:00:54,406 COME ON, LET'S GET THIS GAME 39 00:00:54,413 --> 00:00:55,143 GOING. 40 00:00:55,137 --> 00:00:56,137 I'M GONNA TAKE YOUR MONEY. 41 00:00:56,137 --> 00:00:56,827 >> ALL RIGHT. 42 00:00:56,827 --> 00:00:57,477 >> OKAY. 43 00:00:57,482 --> 00:00:58,662 >> IF YOU INSIST. 44 00:00:58,655 --> 00:00:59,655 >> ONE OF THESE DAYS, I'M 45 00:00:59,655 --> 00:01:00,375 GONNA -- 46 00:01:00,379 --> 00:01:01,209 >> [ CLEARS THROAT ] 47 00:01:01,206 --> 00:01:03,686 >> MM-HMM. 48 00:01:03,689 --> 00:01:06,169 >> MM-HMM. MELANIE CAN'T HAVE NO BABIES. 49 00:01:06,172 --> 00:01:17,072 MELANIE CAN'T HAVE NO BABIES. 50 00:01:17,068 --> 00:01:18,828 >> DAWG, SHE CAUGHT THE 51 00:01:18,827 --> 00:01:19,477 INFERTILITY? 52 00:01:19,482 --> 00:01:20,552 >> [ SCOFFS ] 53 00:01:20,551 --> 00:01:21,551 >> IT'S NOT A DISEASE, MAN. 54 00:01:21,551 --> 00:01:22,901 IT JUST MEANS THAT EITHER A 55 00:01:22,896 --> 00:01:24,166 WOMAN CAN'T CONCEIVE OR SHE 56 00:01:24,172 --> 00:01:25,722 CAN'T CARRY A BABY TO FULL TERM. 57 00:01:25,724 --> 00:01:26,974 >> SHE CAN'T GET PREGNANT? 58 00:01:26,965 --> 00:01:28,135 >> THAT'S A BIG LOSS. 59 00:01:28,137 --> 00:01:29,827 ALTHOUGH, FINANCIALLY, HAVING A 60 00:01:29,827 --> 00:01:31,377 KID OVER HERE, BEACH HOUSE IN 61 00:01:31,379 --> 00:01:32,899 KAUAI OVER HERE -- NOT A BAD 62 00:01:32,896 --> 00:01:33,546 FALLBACK. 63 00:01:33,551 --> 00:01:34,211 KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 64 00:01:34,206 --> 00:01:35,166 >> HEY, YOU GUYS, IT'S NO BIG 65 00:01:35,172 --> 00:01:35,862 DEAL, OKAY? 66 00:01:35,862 --> 00:01:36,862 'CAUSE MELANIE AND I BOTH ARE 67 00:01:36,862 --> 00:01:37,592 WORKING ON SOME OPTIONS. 68 00:01:37,586 --> 00:01:38,236 ALL RIGHT? 69 00:01:38,241 --> 00:01:39,031 TONS OF THINGS GOING ON. 70 00:01:39,034 --> 00:01:39,724 >> MM. 71 00:01:39,724 --> 00:01:40,384 >> KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 72 00:01:40,379 --> 00:01:41,519 BUT LET'S FORGET IT, 'CAUSE 73 00:01:41,517 --> 00:01:42,717 TONIGHT, I'M GONNA HANG WITH 74 00:01:42,724 --> 00:01:43,384 MY BOYS. 75 00:01:43,379 --> 00:01:44,929 AND TEE TEE. 76 00:01:44,931 --> 00:01:45,591 [ DOORBELL RINGS ] 77 00:01:45,586 --> 00:01:46,306 >> YOU KNOW WHAT? 78 00:01:46,310 --> 00:01:47,480 YOU AND YOUR GRANDMA ARE HATERS. 79 00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:49,522 >> [ CHUCKLES ] 80 00:01:49,517 --> 00:01:50,517 >> AAH! 81 00:01:50,517 --> 00:01:51,337 >> [ BARKING ] 82 00:01:51,344 --> 00:01:52,174 >> ALL RIGHT, COOL. 83 00:01:52,172 --> 00:01:53,242 >> HEY, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 84 00:01:53,241 --> 00:01:54,241 THE CHICKENS ARE HERE. 85 00:01:54,241 --> 00:01:55,311 >> I COULD TELL YOU SOME RUMORS 86 00:01:55,310 --> 00:01:56,140 ALREADY. 87 00:01:56,137 --> 00:01:57,447 >> YOU HAVE NO IDEA OF HOW 88 00:01:57,448 --> 00:01:59,028 HUNGRY YOU ARE FOR THESE 89 00:01:59,034 --> 00:01:59,834 CHICKENS. 90 00:01:59,827 --> 00:02:01,547 >> MM-HMM. HOPE THEY GOT MY 91 00:02:01,551 --> 00:02:03,381 FAVORITE FLAVOR -- LEMON PEPPER. 92 00:02:03,379 --> 00:02:04,619 >> [ CLEARS THROAT ] 93 00:02:04,620 --> 00:02:06,280 GENTLEMEN... 94 00:02:06,275 --> 00:02:08,755 WE GOT LEGS, WE WE GOT BREASTS, 95 00:02:08,758 --> 00:02:10,658 AND CHICKEN NECKS. 96 00:02:10,655 --> 00:02:11,305 >> WHAT THE HELL? 97 00:02:11,310 --> 00:02:12,140 TEE TEE, WHAT'S GOING ON? 98 00:02:12,137 --> 00:02:13,447 >> OH, YEAH, BOY, WHEN YOU SAID 99 00:02:13,448 --> 00:02:14,618 YOUR GIRL WAS GONE FOR THE 100 00:02:14,620 --> 00:02:15,930 NIGHT, WE FIGURED THAT WAS CODE 101 00:02:15,931 --> 00:02:17,381 FOR "BRING MORE GIRLS." 102 00:02:17,379 --> 00:02:18,859 THEN YOUR LITTLE BABY SEGUE 103 00:02:18,862 --> 00:02:19,552 INTERRUPTED. 104 00:02:19,551 --> 00:02:21,071 CHARLINDA, WHAT'S UP, GIRL? 105 00:02:21,068 --> 00:02:22,308 WHAT YOU GOT FOR US? 106 00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:23,550 >> SPECIAL BROWNIES. 107 00:02:23,551 --> 00:02:25,031 >> MMM. GIRL, EVERYTHING YOU 108 00:02:25,034 --> 00:02:26,074 TOUCH IS SPECIAL! 109 00:02:26,068 --> 00:02:26,788 [ BARKING ] 110 00:02:26,793 --> 00:02:27,623 >> I KNOW. 111 00:02:27,620 --> 00:02:28,720 [ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ] 112 00:02:28,724 --> 00:02:29,864 >> WHOA, WHOA, SWEETHEART! 113 00:02:29,862 --> 00:02:31,452 WHERE'D YOU GET THAT PLATE FROM? 114 00:02:31,448 --> 00:02:32,658 MY WIFE'S GRANDMOTHER GAVE US 115 00:02:32,655 --> 00:02:33,305 THAT CHINA. 116 00:02:33,310 --> 00:02:34,380 SHE GONNA KILL ME. 117 00:02:34,379 --> 00:02:35,239 >> IT'S OKAY. 118 00:02:35,241 --> 00:02:36,591 WE CAN USE PAPER PLATES. 119 00:02:36,586 --> 00:02:38,136 >> UM, YOU KNOW WHAT? 120 00:02:38,137 --> 00:02:39,277 IT'S ALL GOOD. 121 00:02:39,275 --> 00:02:40,545 YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE, AND SOME 122 00:02:40,551 --> 00:02:41,691 NOT AT ALL. 123 00:02:41,689 --> 00:02:42,619 YOU GUYS EAT THAT CHICKEN LIKE 124 00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:43,590 IT'S YOUR LAST. 125 00:02:43,586 --> 00:02:45,166 ENJOY. 126 00:02:45,172 --> 00:02:45,902 >> THIS IS LOOKING SO CUTE. 127 00:02:45,896 --> 00:02:46,716 >> MM-HMM. 128 00:02:46,724 --> 00:02:47,934 YOU KNOW, I'M GONNA THROW MY 129 00:02:47,931 --> 00:02:48,621 WEAVE BACK IN. 130 00:02:48,620 --> 00:02:50,030 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 131 00:02:50,034 --> 00:02:51,764 >> OKAY, WHAT DO YOU THINK? 132 00:02:51,758 --> 00:02:54,548 [ MID-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ] 133 00:02:54,551 --> 00:02:56,101 >> I THINK YOU HAVE SUCCESSFULLY 134 00:02:56,103 --> 00:02:56,863 MADE ME LOOK LIKE CELIE. 135 00:02:56,862 --> 00:02:57,522 >> WHAT? 136 00:02:57,517 --> 00:02:58,617 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 137 00:02:58,620 --> 00:02:59,280 >> ROOM SERVICE. 138 00:02:59,275 --> 00:02:59,965 >> OOH. 139 00:02:59,965 --> 00:03:01,095 >> WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE 140 00:03:01,103 --> 00:03:03,033 ROOM SERVICE AT A SLUMBER PARTY. 141 00:03:03,034 --> 00:03:04,284 >> GIRL, ONE MORE RULE ABOUT 142 00:03:04,275 --> 00:03:05,475 YOUR SLUMBER PARTIES, AND I'M 143 00:03:05,482 --> 00:03:06,762 GONNA THROW YOU OUT THE EXPRESS 144 00:03:06,758 --> 00:03:07,968 ELEVATOR ON THE OTHER SIDE OF 145 00:03:07,965 --> 00:03:08,995 THAT WINDOW. 146 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,140 BESIDES, YOU'RE GONNA THANK ME 147 00:03:11,137 --> 00:03:13,967 FOR THIS. 148 00:03:13,965 --> 00:03:15,475 >> BUENAS TARDES, SEÑORAMACK. 149 00:03:15,482 --> 00:03:18,282 >> BUENAS TARDES,ERNESTO. 150 00:03:18,275 --> 00:03:19,585 ALL RIGHT. 151 00:03:19,586 --> 00:03:22,136 SAY HOLATO ERNESTO. 152 00:03:22,137 --> 00:03:23,207 >> HOLA. 153 00:03:23,206 --> 00:03:24,166 >> [ CHUCKLES ] 154 00:03:24,172 --> 00:03:25,902 >> BUENAS TARDES, SENORITA. 155 00:03:25,896 --> 00:03:27,066 >> DO YOU WANT IT HERE? 156 00:03:27,068 --> 00:03:28,208 >> [ GASPS ] 157 00:03:28,206 --> 00:03:29,096 OH. 158 00:03:29,103 --> 00:03:29,833 >> LA FRUTA. 159 00:03:29,827 --> 00:03:31,377 >> OH, Sí. 160 00:03:31,379 --> 00:03:32,449 GRACIAS. 161 00:03:32,448 --> 00:03:35,448 [ CHUCKLING ] 162 00:03:35,448 --> 00:03:37,548 HOLD IT! 163 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:39,721 UH, WON'T YOU PUT IT OVER ON -- 164 00:03:39,724 --> 00:03:40,384 ALLí. 165 00:03:40,379 --> 00:03:41,169 >> Sí, SENORA. 166 00:03:41,172 --> 00:03:42,142 >> [ CHUCKLES ] 167 00:03:42,137 --> 00:03:44,067 >> UH-HUH. HMM. 168 00:03:44,068 --> 00:03:45,858 GRACIAS. 169 00:03:45,862 --> 00:03:47,972 [ SIGHS ] 170 00:03:47,965 --> 00:03:49,475 >> [ SIGHS ] 171 00:03:49,482 --> 00:03:50,692 [ CHUCKLES ] 172 00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:52,069 >> I DON'T DO CRACKERS. 173 00:03:52,068 --> 00:03:53,028 KEEP THEM. 174 00:03:53,034 --> 00:03:54,764 [ LAUGHS ] 175 00:03:54,758 --> 00:03:55,858 >> CLARO. 176 00:03:55,862 --> 00:03:57,792 >> CLARO. >> OH, HOLD IT, HOLD IT. 177 00:03:57,793 --> 00:04:01,343 >> OH, HOLD IT, HOLD IT. 178 00:04:01,344 --> 00:04:02,314 >> [ LAUGHS ] 179 00:04:02,310 --> 00:04:03,550 >> OW! 180 00:04:03,551 --> 00:04:04,481 >> GRACIAS. 181 00:04:04,482 --> 00:04:05,662 >> UH-HUH. 182 00:04:05,655 --> 00:04:07,475 [ SPEAKING SPANISH ] 183 00:04:07,482 --> 00:04:09,452 >> ADIOS. 184 00:04:09,448 --> 00:04:10,098 >> ADIOS. 185 00:04:10,103 --> 00:04:10,833 >> ADIOS, ADIOS. 186 00:04:10,827 --> 00:04:14,517 >> OKAY. MMM, MMM, MMM. MMM! 187 00:04:14,517 --> 00:04:16,097 GIRL, IF MY BODY IS A TEMPLE, 188 00:04:16,103 --> 00:04:17,453 I WANT THAT MAN PRAYING INSIDE 189 00:04:17,447 --> 00:04:18,337 OF ME. 190 00:04:18,344 --> 00:04:19,004 >> MMM. 191 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:19,690 >> WHOO! 192 00:04:19,689 --> 00:04:21,309 >> HIS LOOKS ARE BUENO. 193 00:04:21,310 --> 00:04:22,590 VERY, VERY BUENO. 194 00:04:22,586 --> 00:04:24,166 >> MM-HMM. 195 00:04:24,172 --> 00:04:25,832 >> LATASHA, WOULD YOU REALLY DO 196 00:04:25,827 --> 00:04:27,377 IT WITH A ROOM-SERVICE WAITER? 197 00:04:27,379 --> 00:04:28,619 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 198 00:04:28,620 --> 00:04:29,860 I MEAN, AFTER ALL THAT YOU JUST 199 00:04:29,862 --> 00:04:30,522 WENT THROUGH? 200 00:04:30,517 --> 00:04:32,277 I MEAN, YOU WERE HUMILIATED BY A 201 00:04:32,275 --> 00:04:33,235 MALE PROSTITUTE. 202 00:04:33,241 --> 00:04:34,381 >> GIRL, ERNESTO CAN ONLY SPEAK 203 00:04:34,379 --> 00:04:35,589 ABOUT 10 WORDS OF ENGLISH, OKAY? 204 00:04:35,586 --> 00:04:36,616 SO I AIN'T WORRIED ABOUT MY 205 00:04:36,620 --> 00:04:37,690 BUSINESS BEING ALL OUT ON THE 206 00:04:37,689 --> 00:04:38,759 STREET... 207 00:04:38,758 --> 00:04:39,998 EXCEPT MAYBE SOUTH OF THE 208 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:40,720 BORDER. 209 00:04:40,724 --> 00:04:43,284 MMM. SOUTH OF THE BORDER. 210 00:04:43,275 --> 00:04:44,825 >> OKAY, TASHA, SO, DO YOU HAVE 211 00:04:44,827 --> 00:04:46,337 ANY IDEA HOW MANY MEN YOU'VE 212 00:04:46,344 --> 00:04:47,034 SLEPT WITH? 213 00:04:47,034 --> 00:04:48,284 >> HEIFER, OF COURSE I DO. 214 00:04:48,275 --> 00:04:49,925 >> OKAY, HOW MANY? 215 00:04:49,931 --> 00:04:52,591 >> RICK FOX. BAM. 'NUFF SAID. 216 00:04:52,586 --> 00:04:54,166 >> AND SINCE THEN? 217 00:04:54,172 --> 00:04:56,312 >> OKAY, LOOK, THERE WAS, UH, 218 00:04:56,310 --> 00:04:57,760 THERE WAS BERNARDO, THERE WAS 219 00:04:57,758 --> 00:04:59,618 BO, DANTE. 220 00:04:59,620 --> 00:05:02,100 >> OKAY, WHAT ABOUT BEFORE RICK? 221 00:05:02,103 --> 00:05:02,863 >> WELL, OH, LORD, I GOT TO 222 00:05:02,862 --> 00:05:03,522 START ALL THE WAY AT THE 223 00:05:03,517 --> 00:05:04,167 BEGINNING. 224 00:05:04,172 --> 00:05:04,862 >> OOH! 225 00:05:04,862 --> 00:05:05,832 I'LL GET A PIECE OF PAPER. 226 00:05:05,827 --> 00:05:07,027 >> OKAY, BUT, LOOK, I'M ONLY 227 00:05:07,034 --> 00:05:08,034 GONNA NEED A POST-IT. 228 00:05:08,034 --> 00:05:10,104 AND A PENCIL WITH AN ERASER. 229 00:05:10,103 --> 00:05:11,343 ALL THEM ACTS WASN'T PERFORMED 230 00:05:11,344 --> 00:05:12,794 INSIDE MY TEMPLE. 231 00:05:12,793 --> 00:05:14,313 [ CHUCKLES ] 232 00:05:14,310 --> 00:05:16,930 [ HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS ] 233 00:05:16,931 --> 00:05:18,551 >> WANT SOME CHAMPAGNE, MALIK? 234 00:05:18,551 --> 00:05:22,971 >> NO, BABY, I'M HIGH OFF LIFE. 235 00:05:22,965 --> 00:05:25,305 LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION. 236 00:05:25,310 --> 00:05:26,450 YOU'RE UP IN HERE IN THIS BIG 237 00:05:26,448 --> 00:05:27,308 OLD BEAUTIFUL HOUSE. 238 00:05:27,310 --> 00:05:28,450 I KNOW THEY GOT SOME CRYSTAL 239 00:05:28,448 --> 00:05:29,478 GLASSES, AND HERE YOU ARE, 240 00:05:29,482 --> 00:05:30,412 DRINKING OUT THE BOTTLE. 241 00:05:30,413 --> 00:05:32,003 DIDN'T YOUR MAMA TEACH YOU NO 242 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:32,690 MANNERS? 243 00:05:32,689 --> 00:05:34,139 YOU KNOW WHAT? GIVE ME THIS. 244 00:05:34,137 --> 00:05:36,447 I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A BIRD BATH. 245 00:05:36,448 --> 00:05:39,378 HA HA HA! 246 00:05:39,379 --> 00:05:40,549 NOW, PUT THAT IN THE RECYCLING 247 00:05:40,551 --> 00:05:41,551 BIN. 248 00:05:41,551 --> 00:05:43,971 OH, LOOK. 249 00:05:43,965 --> 00:05:45,545 >> WHOO! 250 00:05:45,551 --> 00:05:47,311 >> J.? 251 00:05:47,310 --> 00:05:48,240 >> EW. 252 00:05:48,241 --> 00:05:49,311 >> I'M JUST SAYIN', I GOT TO BE 253 00:05:49,310 --> 00:05:52,000 HONEST, THIS SURE BEATS A POKER 254 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:52,690 PARTY, MAN. 255 00:05:52,689 --> 00:05:53,789 >> HELL, YEAH, AND AT THE END OF 256 00:05:53,793 --> 00:05:54,903 THE NIGHT, YOU CAN JUST HAND ME 257 00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:55,926 THE $400 YOU WOULD HAVE LOST, 258 00:05:55,931 --> 00:05:56,831 SUCKER. 259 00:05:56,827 --> 00:05:59,027 >> [ LAUGHS ] I DON'T THINK SO. 260 00:05:59,034 --> 00:05:59,904 >> HEY, MAN, LOOK. 261 00:05:59,896 --> 00:06:00,686 >> WHAT? 262 00:06:00,689 --> 00:06:01,689 >> I KNOW THAT YOU AND MIRANDA 263 00:06:01,689 --> 00:06:02,999 MUST BE REALLY UPSET ABOUT THIS 264 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:04,000 WHOLE INFERTILITY THING. 265 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:04,690 >> MELANIE. 266 00:06:04,689 --> 00:06:06,379 >> WHATEVER. MY POINT IS THIS -- 267 00:06:06,379 --> 00:06:07,999 KIDS ARE OVERRATED. 268 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:08,860 OKAY? 269 00:06:08,862 --> 00:06:09,662 >> MM-HMM. 270 00:06:09,655 --> 00:06:10,305 >> ONE DAY, YOU'RE ROCKING 271 00:06:10,310 --> 00:06:11,000 THE CRADLE, THE NEXT DAY, 272 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:11,760 THEY'RE ROCKING THE INTERNET IN 273 00:06:11,758 --> 00:06:12,338 A BRA AND PANTIES. 274 00:06:12,344 --> 00:06:13,074 YOU CAN QUOTE ME ON THAT ONE, 275 00:06:13,068 --> 00:06:13,688 HOMEBOY. 276 00:06:13,689 --> 00:06:14,689 >> WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS, 277 00:06:14,689 --> 00:06:15,339 KNOWING I GOT A KID? 278 00:06:15,344 --> 00:06:16,314 REMEMBER? 279 00:06:16,310 --> 00:06:17,790 >> YEAH, HE'S MY GODSON. 280 00:06:17,793 --> 00:06:19,593 OF COURSE I REMEMBER LITTLE -- 281 00:06:19,586 --> 00:06:20,786 LITTLE, UH... 282 00:06:20,793 --> 00:06:21,483 Pbht! 283 00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:22,902 I'M GONNA SAY RAPPER? 284 00:06:22,896 --> 00:06:23,826 >> LITTLE D.J. 285 00:06:23,827 --> 00:06:24,617 >> D.J. YEAH, WHATEVER. 286 00:06:24,620 --> 00:06:25,280 I WAS CLOSE. 287 00:06:25,275 --> 00:06:27,065 >> HEY, EITHER OF YOU BOYS WANT 288 00:06:27,068 --> 00:06:28,828 ONE OF MY SPECIAL BROWNIES? 289 00:06:28,827 --> 00:06:29,827 >> UH, UNH-UNH. 290 00:06:29,827 --> 00:06:32,097 CAN'T RISK THE SIX-PACK. 291 00:06:32,103 --> 00:06:34,103 YOU UNDERSTAND? 292 00:06:34,103 --> 00:06:36,073 >> YEAH, WELL, I CAN. 293 00:06:36,068 --> 00:06:37,068 I'M RETIRED. 294 00:06:37,068 --> 00:06:38,968 >> DRINK IT IN...PITTS. 295 00:06:38,965 --> 00:06:40,615 >> MMM. YOU KNOW WHAT? 296 00:06:40,620 --> 00:06:41,550 I'LL TAKE HIS, TOO. 297 00:06:41,551 --> 00:06:42,861 >> [ LAUGHS ] 298 00:06:42,862 --> 00:06:43,832 >> PULL YOUR SHIRT DOWN, 299 00:06:43,827 --> 00:06:44,477 DINGDONG. 300 00:06:44,482 --> 00:06:46,312 PEOPLE ARE EATING. 301 00:06:46,310 --> 00:06:48,280 >> THEN THERE WAS THE GUY FROM 302 00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:49,995 THE TOURING COMPANY OF "PURLIE." 303 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:51,590 THE BIGGER THEY COME, THE HARDER 304 00:06:51,586 --> 00:06:52,616 THEY FALL. 305 00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:54,280 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 306 00:06:54,275 --> 00:06:55,065 >> SO, DOES THAT MEAN YOU DID 307 00:06:55,068 --> 00:06:55,758 HIM? 308 00:06:55,758 --> 00:06:56,788 >> YOU MIGHT WANT TO WRITE 309 00:06:56,793 --> 00:06:57,723 "'PURLIE' ONE." 310 00:06:57,724 --> 00:06:59,174 I HAD A LITTLE BOOTY CALL WHEN I 311 00:06:59,172 --> 00:07:00,522 WENT TO SEE IT ON BROADWAY. 312 00:07:00,517 --> 00:07:02,897 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 313 00:07:02,896 --> 00:07:03,786 >> OKAY, OKAY, I'LL WRITE 314 00:07:03,793 --> 00:07:04,663 "'PURLIE' NUMBER ONE" AND 315 00:07:04,655 --> 00:07:05,475 "'PURLIE' NUMBER TWO." 316 00:07:05,482 --> 00:07:06,142 >> OKAY. 317 00:07:06,137 --> 00:07:07,517 ALL RIGHT, SO, HOW MANY IS THAT? 318 00:07:07,517 --> 00:07:08,477 >> LET'S SEE. 319 00:07:08,482 --> 00:07:11,032 83. 320 00:07:11,034 --> 00:07:12,004 >> YOU'RE LYING! 321 00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,450 GIRL, YOU MUST HAVE MISCOUNTED! 322 00:07:13,448 --> 00:07:14,408 >> NO! 323 00:07:14,413 --> 00:07:17,103 TASHA, POST-ITS DON'T LIE. 324 00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:18,593 >> OH, LORD, GIRL, I DONE BARELY 325 00:07:18,586 --> 00:07:19,786 SCRATCHED THE MILLENNIUM. 326 00:07:19,793 --> 00:07:22,033 OH, LORD. 327 00:07:22,034 --> 00:07:23,214 ALL THIS TIME, I'VE BEEN CALLING 328 00:07:23,206 --> 00:07:25,546 EVERYBODY ELSE A HO, AND I'M THE 329 00:07:25,551 --> 00:07:26,861 BIGGEST HO OF THEM ALL. 330 00:07:26,862 --> 00:07:28,242 >> OH, TASHA, IT'S OKAY. 331 00:07:28,241 --> 00:07:30,341 YOU'RE NOT A H-- WELL, YOU'RE IN 332 00:07:30,344 --> 00:07:31,724 THE VICINITY OF HO AND 333 00:07:31,724 --> 00:07:33,244 DEFINITELY STROLLING HO BLOCK, 334 00:07:33,241 --> 00:07:34,721 BUT IT'S OKAY. 335 00:07:34,724 --> 00:07:35,764 EVERYBODY'S DONE SOMETHING WE'RE 336 00:07:35,758 --> 00:07:36,518 ASHAMED OF. 337 00:07:36,517 --> 00:07:37,827 >> OKAY, SO, YOU GONNA TELL ME 338 00:07:37,827 --> 00:07:38,997 THAT YOU SLEPT WITH 83 GUYS? 339 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:39,790 >> OH, HELL, NO. 340 00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:40,693 I'VE BARELY SLEPT WITH A 341 00:07:40,689 --> 00:07:41,379 HANDFUL. 342 00:07:41,379 --> 00:07:42,659 >> [ SCOFFS ] 343 00:07:42,655 --> 00:07:43,545 [ Sarcastically ] WOW. 344 00:07:43,551 --> 00:07:44,621 THAT MAKES ME FEEL BETTER. 345 00:07:44,620 --> 00:07:47,660 [ PAGES FLIPPING ] 346 00:07:47,655 --> 00:07:49,995 >> [ SIGHS ] 347 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,450 OKAY, WELL... 348 00:07:52,448 --> 00:07:54,168 BECAUSE I HAD AN ABORTION WITH 349 00:07:54,172 --> 00:07:56,722 ONE OF THEM... 350 00:07:56,724 --> 00:07:58,214 DERWIN AND I MAY NEVER BE ABLE 351 00:07:58,206 --> 00:07:59,826 TO HAVE A BABY. 352 00:07:59,827 --> 00:08:02,787 TO HAVE A BABY. >> WHAT? 353 00:08:02,793 --> 00:08:07,623 >> WHAT? 354 00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:09,070 >> I MEAN, WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED 355 00:08:09,068 --> 00:08:12,138 TO DO, HAVE TREY WIGGS' BABY? 356 00:08:12,137 --> 00:08:14,517 I WAS STILL IN LOVE WITH DERWIN. 357 00:08:14,517 --> 00:08:16,237 THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE END OF 358 00:08:16,241 --> 00:08:17,001 THAT DREAM. 359 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:18,520 >> YOU DID WHAT YOU THOUGHT WAS 360 00:08:18,517 --> 00:08:19,277 RIGHT. 361 00:08:19,275 --> 00:08:20,025 >> [ SCOFFS ] 362 00:08:20,034 --> 00:08:22,794 AND LOOK WHAT IT GOT ME. 363 00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:23,763 [ Voice breaking ] I PROBABLY 364 00:08:23,758 --> 00:08:24,688 NEVERWILL BE ABLE TO GET 365 00:08:24,689 --> 00:08:26,309 PREGNANT OR CARRY A CHILD. 366 00:08:26,310 --> 00:08:28,310 >> YOU DON'T KNOW THAT. 367 00:08:28,310 --> 00:08:29,070 >> [ SIGHS ] 368 00:08:29,068 --> 00:08:30,378 >> THE ABORTION MAY NOT HAVE 369 00:08:30,379 --> 00:08:31,789 ANYTHING TO DO WITH THAT. 370 00:08:31,793 --> 00:08:32,863 >> WHATEVER. 371 00:08:32,861 --> 00:08:33,691 [ SIGHS ] 372 00:08:33,688 --> 00:08:35,378 IT WILL ALWAYS BE MY FAULT. 373 00:08:35,379 --> 00:08:36,659 >> OKAY, YOU STOP. 374 00:08:36,655 --> 00:08:38,095 YOU STOP THAT. 375 00:08:38,102 --> 00:08:38,972 COME ON, NOW. 376 00:08:38,965 --> 00:08:39,755 >> [ SNIFFLES ] 377 00:08:39,758 --> 00:08:40,788 >> GIRL, THIS MIGHT BE A 378 00:08:40,793 --> 00:08:42,453 BLESSING IN DISGUISE. 379 00:08:42,448 --> 00:08:43,968 LOOK, YOU AND DERWIN, YOU GUYS 380 00:08:43,965 --> 00:08:45,135 HAVE THE REST OF YOUR LIVES 381 00:08:45,137 --> 00:08:45,897 TOGETHER. 382 00:08:45,896 --> 00:08:47,446 Y'ALL CAN SPEND CHRISTMAS IN 383 00:08:47,448 --> 00:08:49,408 PARIS.... 384 00:08:49,413 --> 00:08:50,523 INSTEAD OF BEING AT HOME, TRYING 385 00:08:50,517 --> 00:08:51,687 TO PUT TOGETHER A DAMN PEDAL CAR 386 00:08:51,689 --> 00:08:52,719 THAT YOUR KID GONNA BREAK IN 387 00:08:52,724 --> 00:08:54,214 10 MINUTES. 388 00:08:54,206 --> 00:08:54,966 >> STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL 389 00:08:54,965 --> 00:08:55,615 BETTER. 390 00:08:55,620 --> 00:08:56,480 >> NO, IT'S THE TRUTH. 391 00:08:56,482 --> 00:08:57,522 I'M TELLING YOU, KIDS -- THEY 392 00:08:57,517 --> 00:08:58,477 AIN'T NOTHING BUT TROUBLE. 393 00:08:58,482 --> 00:08:59,662 WHAT YOU DO, YOU RAISE THEM 394 00:08:59,655 --> 00:09:00,995 RIGHT, YOU TEACH THEM HOW TO 395 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:02,970 THROW A BALL... 396 00:09:02,965 --> 00:09:03,965 YOU GET THEM OUT THE HOOD. 397 00:09:03,965 --> 00:09:04,855 AND THEN WHAT THEY DO? 398 00:09:04,862 --> 00:09:05,792 THEY GO MAKE A NAME FOR 399 00:09:05,793 --> 00:09:06,553 THEMSELVES, BUILD A 400 00:09:06,551 --> 00:09:07,721 MULTIMILLION-DOLLAR HOUSE, LOSE 401 00:09:07,724 --> 00:09:08,974 ALL THEY MONEY, AND END UP RIGHT 402 00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:10,855 BACK WHERE THEY STARTED -- 403 00:09:10,862 --> 00:09:13,282 PUBLIC HOUSING. 404 00:09:13,275 --> 00:09:14,965 [ SIGHS ] 405 00:09:14,965 --> 00:09:16,925 WE GONNA NEED SOME MORE WINE. 406 00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:18,341 >> WE'RE GONNA NEED SOMETHING 407 00:09:18,344 --> 00:09:20,624 STRONGER THAN THAT. 408 00:09:20,620 --> 00:09:23,660 >> TEQUILA IT IS. 409 00:09:23,655 --> 00:09:26,925 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 410 00:09:26,931 --> 00:09:28,621 >> OH, I LOVE YOU, CELIE. 411 00:09:28,620 --> 00:09:30,210 >> [ GASPS ] 412 00:09:30,206 --> 00:09:31,656 >> YEAH, I USED TO HAVE A 413 00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:33,165 BIG-ASS MANSION AND ALL THE 414 00:09:33,172 --> 00:09:33,862 TOYS. 415 00:09:33,862 --> 00:09:35,242 SHOOT. ONCE YOU START OWNING 416 00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:36,861 THAT STUFF, IT STARTS TO OWN 417 00:09:36,862 --> 00:09:37,552 YOU. 418 00:09:37,551 --> 00:09:38,721 HAD TO PULL THE STAKES UP. 419 00:09:38,724 --> 00:09:39,764 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? 420 00:09:39,758 --> 00:09:40,408 [ CHUCKLES ] 421 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:41,453 NOW I'M CRIBBING AT THE 422 00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:42,478 EASTERN HOTEL. 423 00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:43,142 YEP. 424 00:09:43,137 --> 00:09:46,067 >> THIS HERE IS A HOTEL? 425 00:09:46,068 --> 00:09:47,898 >> GIVE ME THE BOTTLE. 426 00:09:47,896 --> 00:09:48,786 >> OH. 427 00:09:48,793 --> 00:09:49,793 >> GIVE ME THE BOTTLE. 428 00:09:49,793 --> 00:09:50,663 WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST 429 00:09:50,655 --> 00:09:51,335 GLASSES? 430 00:09:51,344 --> 00:09:53,314 GLASSES. 431 00:09:53,310 --> 00:09:55,030 WILL YOU GUYS PLEASE TELL ME I 432 00:09:55,034 --> 00:09:56,724 WAS NOT THAT DAMN IGNORANT 433 00:09:56,724 --> 00:09:58,244 BEFORE MY SOBRIETY. 434 00:09:58,241 --> 00:09:59,791 >> SHH, SHH. SHUT YOUR MOUTH. 435 00:09:59,793 --> 00:10:02,073 I'M REASSEMBLING THE CHICKEN. 436 00:10:02,068 --> 00:10:03,308 >> WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH 437 00:10:03,310 --> 00:10:04,140 YOU? 438 00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:04,927 >> "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG 439 00:10:04,931 --> 00:10:05,591 WITH YOU?" 440 00:10:05,586 --> 00:10:06,516 THAT'S HOW YOU SPEAK TO A 441 00:10:06,517 --> 00:10:07,407 PALEONTOLOGIST? 442 00:10:07,413 --> 00:10:08,833 >> [ LAUGHS ] 443 00:10:08,827 --> 00:10:10,717 >> YOU GONNA EAT ALL THAT 444 00:10:10,724 --> 00:10:11,864 CHICKEN BY YOURSELF? 445 00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:13,522 >> [ Chuckling ] DUDE. 446 00:10:13,517 --> 00:10:14,547 DINGDONG TOLD ME IT WERE GOOD. 447 00:10:14,551 --> 00:10:16,101 HE DIDN'T TELL ME HOWGOOD, 448 00:10:16,103 --> 00:10:17,793 HOWCRISP, HOWFLAVORFUL, 449 00:10:17,793 --> 00:10:18,973 HOW... 450 00:10:18,965 --> 00:10:20,785 DELICATE. 451 00:10:20,793 --> 00:10:21,663 THEY'RE DELICATE. 452 00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:22,475 I'M JUST SAYING. 453 00:10:22,482 --> 00:10:23,662 THEY'RE THE PERFECT COMBINATION 454 00:10:23,655 --> 00:10:25,475 OF SALT AND SPICE, STYLE AND 455 00:10:25,482 --> 00:10:27,452 SUBSTANCE, ASHFORD AND SIMPSON. 456 00:10:27,448 --> 00:10:28,588 [ CHUCKLES ] 457 00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:29,756 >> [ LAUGHS ] 458 00:10:29,758 --> 00:10:31,658 WHAT IS THAT, PAPRIKA?! 459 00:10:31,655 --> 00:10:33,235 TEE TEE, YOU'RE A WARLOCK. 460 00:10:33,241 --> 00:10:34,551 >> [ CHUCKLES ] 461 00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:35,831 >> DAWG, DID YOU HAVE SOME OF 462 00:10:35,827 --> 00:10:36,687 THOSE BROWNIES, JASON? 463 00:10:36,689 --> 00:10:37,379 >> WHAT? 464 00:10:37,379 --> 00:10:38,549 >> DID HAVE YOU SOME OF THE 465 00:10:38,551 --> 00:10:39,551 BROWNIES, JASON? 466 00:10:39,551 --> 00:10:40,691 >> YEAH, HAD ABOUT FOUR OR FIVE 467 00:10:40,689 --> 00:10:41,719 OF THEM, BUT THAT WAS BEFORE I 468 00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:42,764 WAS LIFTED TO THE HIGHEST 469 00:10:42,758 --> 00:10:43,618 HEIGHTS... 470 00:10:43,620 --> 00:10:45,970 ON THE ANGELIC WINGS OF CHICKEN. 471 00:10:45,965 --> 00:10:47,855 [ CLUCKING ] 472 00:10:47,862 --> 00:10:48,862 >> WHAT ABOUT YOU, DAWG? 473 00:10:48,862 --> 00:10:50,072 YOU HAVE SOME OF THE BROWNIES? 474 00:10:50,068 --> 00:10:51,308 >> WHAT?! 475 00:10:51,310 --> 00:10:52,340 >> DINGDONG, DID HAVE YOU SOME 476 00:10:52,344 --> 00:10:53,004 BROWNIES? 477 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,900 >> NINJA, ARE YOU CRAZY? 478 00:10:54,896 --> 00:10:55,896 WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU SEEN 479 00:10:55,896 --> 00:10:57,066 THIS BODY, MAN? 480 00:10:57,068 --> 00:10:58,278 I DON'T PUT NOTHING IN IT THAT'S 481 00:10:58,275 --> 00:10:59,205 NOT NUTRITIOUS. 482 00:10:59,206 --> 00:11:03,026 YOU UNDERSTAND ME? 483 00:11:03,034 --> 00:11:04,834 MATTER OF FACT, I WANT TO POUR 484 00:11:04,827 --> 00:11:06,857 SOME OUT FOR MY HOMIES THAT ARE 485 00:11:06,862 --> 00:11:08,002 NOT HERE, ESPECIALLY MY FROZEN 486 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:09,860 EMBRYOS... 487 00:11:09,862 --> 00:11:13,522 DUKE, TERESA, LUCA, 488 00:11:13,517 --> 00:11:17,687 CHARLIE, SHEEN, MARA, CELINE, 489 00:11:17,689 --> 00:11:19,619 ICE CUBE. 490 00:11:19,620 --> 00:11:20,550 >> DINGDONG, THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL, 491 00:11:20,551 --> 00:11:23,481 MAN. 492 00:11:23,482 --> 00:11:24,312 >> YOU KNOW WHAT, DAWG? 493 00:11:24,310 --> 00:11:26,240 OKAY, LOOK, SIT DOWN, DAWG. 494 00:11:26,241 --> 00:11:27,661 SIT YOUR ASS -- OKAY, SIT DOWN. 495 00:11:27,655 --> 00:11:28,855 >> YOU DON'T HAVE TO GRAB. 496 00:11:28,862 --> 00:11:30,072 >> SIT YOUR ASS DOWN, DAWG. 497 00:11:30,068 --> 00:11:30,898 >> [ CHUCKLES ] 498 00:11:30,896 --> 00:11:32,236 >> AND, YOU, THE BROWNIES THAT 499 00:11:32,241 --> 00:11:33,311 YOU ATE GOT SOMETHING EXTRA IN 500 00:11:33,310 --> 00:11:34,000 THEM. 501 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:34,830 >> WHAT WAS IT, PEANUTS? 502 00:11:34,827 --> 00:11:35,477 >> NO. 503 00:11:35,482 --> 00:11:36,172 >> YOU KNOW I'M ALLERGIC TO 504 00:11:36,172 --> 00:11:36,832 PEANUTS. 505 00:11:36,827 --> 00:11:37,997 I'M ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS! 506 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:38,660 >> JASON -- 507 00:11:38,655 --> 00:11:39,925 >> I'M ALLERGIC TO PEANUTS! 508 00:11:39,931 --> 00:11:41,311 LISTEN UP, PEOPLE. 509 00:11:41,310 --> 00:11:42,660 WHO HAS AN EpiPen? 510 00:11:42,655 --> 00:11:43,305 WE NEED A MEDIC! 511 00:11:43,310 --> 00:11:44,210 >> IT IS NOT PEANUTS, MAN. 512 00:11:44,206 --> 00:11:44,896 >> I CAN FEEL MY THROAT 513 00:11:44,896 --> 00:11:45,586 CLOSING IN. 514 00:11:45,586 --> 00:11:46,306 POKE IT WITH A PEN. 515 00:11:46,310 --> 00:11:47,000 >> COME HERE. 516 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:48,000 >> WE GOT TO POKE IT WITH A PEN. 517 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,410 >> COME HERE. 518 00:11:49,413 --> 00:11:50,453 IT AIN'T PEANUTS. 519 00:11:50,448 --> 00:11:51,098 >> HUH? 520 00:11:51,103 --> 00:11:53,243 >> OKAY? 521 00:11:53,241 --> 00:11:54,761 SOMETHING HERBAL, ALL RIGHT? 522 00:11:54,758 --> 00:11:55,998 NOW, JUST ENJOY THE LITTLE 523 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,450 ROLLER COASTER YOU'RE ON AND 524 00:11:57,448 --> 00:11:58,378 JUST RELAX, OKAY? 525 00:11:58,379 --> 00:11:59,029 JUST CHILL. 526 00:11:59,034 --> 00:12:00,794 >> CHILL?! CHILL? 527 00:12:00,793 --> 00:12:02,343 HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CHILL? 528 00:12:02,344 --> 00:12:04,034 HUH? 529 00:12:04,034 --> 00:12:05,214 [ CHUCKLES ] 530 00:12:05,206 --> 00:12:06,276 WHAT WAS I JUST TALKING ABOUT? 531 00:12:06,275 --> 00:12:06,965 >> UH... 532 00:12:06,965 --> 00:12:07,895 >> WHAT AM I DOING? 533 00:12:07,896 --> 00:12:09,096 LOOK AT THE MESS I'VE MADE OF 534 00:12:09,103 --> 00:12:09,793 MY LIFE. 535 00:12:09,793 --> 00:12:12,903 I WAS A HORRIBLE HUSBAND. 536 00:12:12,896 --> 00:12:13,716 I'M A HORRIBLE FATHER. 537 00:12:13,724 --> 00:12:14,524 AM I A HORRIBLE FATHER? 538 00:12:14,517 --> 00:12:15,167 >> YES. 539 00:12:15,172 --> 00:12:15,902 >> OF COURSE I'M A HORRIBLE 540 00:12:15,896 --> 00:12:16,546 FATHER. 541 00:12:16,551 --> 00:12:17,481 I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON. 542 00:12:17,482 --> 00:12:18,662 I'M A HORRIBLE, LIGHT-SKINNED 543 00:12:18,655 --> 00:12:19,515 BLACK PERSON. 544 00:12:19,517 --> 00:12:21,027 HORRIBLE ROLE MODEL. 545 00:12:21,034 --> 00:12:23,174 I -- I - I CHEAT ON MY TAXES. 546 00:12:23,172 --> 00:12:24,662 I HAVE A FAKE HANDICAP PLACARD. 547 00:12:24,655 --> 00:12:28,235 I DID STEROIDS. 548 00:12:28,241 --> 00:12:30,451 >> I KNEW YOU DID STEROIDS. 549 00:12:30,448 --> 00:12:32,028 >> [ LAUGHS ] 550 00:12:32,034 --> 00:12:33,664 I MEAN, I -- I KNEW. 551 00:12:33,655 --> 00:12:34,615 I KNEW YOU DID STEROIDS. 552 00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:35,760 LIKE YOU -- YOU DID STEROIDS. 553 00:12:35,758 --> 00:12:36,658 >> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, 554 00:12:36,655 --> 00:12:37,305 STEROIDS? 555 00:12:37,310 --> 00:12:38,310 WHO SAID I DID STEROIDS? 556 00:12:38,310 --> 00:12:41,030 >> JASON? 557 00:12:41,034 --> 00:12:43,004 >> NO ONE SAID I DID STEROIDS. 558 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,310 >> NO ONE SAID YOU DID STEROIDS? 559 00:12:45,310 --> 00:12:48,550 >> [ MUTTERING ] 560 00:12:48,551 --> 00:12:52,001 [ HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS ] 561 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:53,860 >> HEY, GIRL. 562 00:12:53,862 --> 00:12:55,592 SO, UH, RUMOR HAS IT THAT 563 00:12:55,586 --> 00:12:56,856 SOMEBODY IN HERE DID STEROIDS. 564 00:12:56,862 --> 00:12:57,972 YOU HEAR ABOUT THAT? 565 00:12:57,965 --> 00:12:59,235 >> NO. 566 00:12:59,241 --> 00:13:02,971 >> BOOGIE ON, REGGAE WOMAN. 567 00:13:02,965 --> 00:13:04,755 SAY, MAMA. 568 00:13:04,758 --> 00:13:06,788 SO, UH, WORD ON THE STREET IS 569 00:13:06,793 --> 00:13:07,623 THAT SOMEONE IN HERE IS ON THE 570 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:08,620 JUICE. 571 00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:09,550 >> THE JUICE? 572 00:13:09,551 --> 00:13:10,551 WHAT KIND OF JUICE? 573 00:13:10,551 --> 00:13:11,551 GIN AND JUICE? 574 00:13:11,551 --> 00:13:13,761 GIN AND JUICE? >> BOOGIE ON, REGGAE WOMAN. 575 00:13:13,758 --> 00:13:15,828 >> BOOGIE ON, REGGAE WOMAN. 576 00:13:15,827 --> 00:13:17,067 OKAY, MAKE IT STOP. 577 00:13:17,068 --> 00:13:18,858 PLEASE MAKE IT STOP. 578 00:13:18,862 --> 00:13:20,762 [ BREATHING DEEPLY ] 579 00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:22,858 [ BREATHING DEEPLY ] [ HUMMING ] 580 00:13:22,862 --> 00:13:26,662 [ HUMMING ] 581 00:13:26,655 --> 00:13:28,275 >> TASHA, YOU THINK GOD IS 582 00:13:28,275 --> 00:13:29,965 PUNISHING ME FOR HAVING AN 583 00:13:29,965 --> 00:13:30,715 ABORTION? 584 00:13:30,724 --> 00:13:32,864 >> GIRL, THE LORD IS TOO BUSY TO 585 00:13:32,862 --> 00:13:34,692 BE WORRIED ABOUT YOU, OKAY? 586 00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:37,309 HE BLOWING OUT VOLCANOS AND 587 00:13:37,310 --> 00:13:39,930 PICKING SUPER BOWL WINNERS. 588 00:13:39,931 --> 00:13:41,661 >> JUST BEEN SO HARD, NOT HAVING 589 00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:43,065 ANYONE TO TALK TO, ESPECIALLY 590 00:13:43,068 --> 00:13:43,758 DERWIN. 591 00:13:43,758 --> 00:13:44,478 >> MM. 592 00:13:44,482 --> 00:13:45,762 >> I MEAN, HE KNOWS THAT IT WAS 593 00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:47,448 MY FAULT, BUT HE DOESN'T SAY IT, 594 00:13:47,448 --> 00:13:49,308 AND THAT I APPRECIATE, BUT I 595 00:13:49,310 --> 00:13:50,450 KNOW HE'S STILL THINKING IT. 596 00:13:50,448 --> 00:13:52,308 >> OR MAYBE HE ISN'T. 597 00:13:52,310 --> 00:13:53,520 OKAY, HONEY? 598 00:13:53,517 --> 00:13:55,027 WE HAVE ALL DONE THINGS IN OUR 599 00:13:55,034 --> 00:13:56,344 PAST THAT WE ARE NOT PROUD OF. 600 00:13:56,344 --> 00:13:58,034 OKAY? I'VE DONE 83 AND COUNTING. 601 00:13:58,034 --> 00:13:59,314 >> [ CHUCKLES ] 602 00:13:59,310 --> 00:14:00,310 >> I'M JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT 603 00:14:00,310 --> 00:14:01,480 HOW TO DEAL WITH IT. 604 00:14:01,482 --> 00:14:02,622 I JUST MAY HAVE TO CLOSE UP 605 00:14:02,620 --> 00:14:03,590 SHOP. 606 00:14:03,586 --> 00:14:05,786 >> WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 607 00:14:05,793 --> 00:14:07,103 >> I'M GONNA ROLL UP THAT 608 00:14:07,103 --> 00:14:07,933 WELCOME MAT. 609 00:14:07,931 --> 00:14:08,831 >> [ LAUGHS ] 610 00:14:08,827 --> 00:14:10,477 >> I AM, AND I'M GONNA PUT A 611 00:14:10,482 --> 00:14:11,832 SIGN RIGHT THERE THAT'S GONNA 612 00:14:11,827 --> 00:14:13,687 SAY, "AFTER 26 YEARS OF SERVICE, 613 00:14:13,689 --> 00:14:16,239 THIS FACTORY IS NOW CLOSED." 614 00:14:16,241 --> 00:14:18,481 >> YOU DO NOT MEAN THAT. 615 00:14:18,482 --> 00:14:20,282 >> YES, I DO! 616 00:14:20,275 --> 00:14:21,475 GIRL, WHY DO YOU THINK I MOVED 617 00:14:21,482 --> 00:14:22,792 TO THIS HOTEL? 618 00:14:22,793 --> 00:14:24,143 OKAY, I MEAN, YEAH, I WANTED TO 619 00:14:24,137 --> 00:14:25,377 FOCUS ON MALIK'S CAREER, BUT, 620 00:14:25,379 --> 00:14:27,239 GIRL, I'M SO TIRED OF COMING 621 00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:29,001 HOME TO THAT BIG OLD LONELY 622 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:29,720 HOUSE. 623 00:14:29,724 --> 00:14:31,004 IT WAS, LIKE, EVERY NIGHT, IT 624 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,450 WAS JUST A CONSTANT REMINDER OF 625 00:14:32,448 --> 00:14:33,658 WHAT A FAILURE I AM WHEN IT 626 00:14:33,655 --> 00:14:34,375 COMES TO LOVE. 627 00:14:34,379 --> 00:14:36,169 >> Tsk. YOU ARE NOT. 628 00:14:36,172 --> 00:14:37,862 >> YES, I AM. 629 00:14:37,862 --> 00:14:38,902 OKAY, YOU KNOW WHO HELPED ME 630 00:14:38,896 --> 00:14:39,686 PICK OUT THAT HOUSE? 631 00:14:39,689 --> 00:14:41,309 RICK. 632 00:14:41,310 --> 00:14:42,830 FAILURE. 633 00:14:42,827 --> 00:14:43,997 YOU KNOW WHO I TRIED TO FILL 634 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:44,720 THAT HOUSE WITH? 635 00:14:44,724 --> 00:14:45,904 DANTE. 636 00:14:45,896 --> 00:14:46,546 FAILURE. 637 00:14:46,551 --> 00:14:48,281 >> YEAH, TASHA, BUT THAT WAS IN 638 00:14:48,275 --> 00:14:48,965 THE PAST. 639 00:14:48,965 --> 00:14:50,375 YOU CAN STILL FIND LOVE. 640 00:14:50,379 --> 00:14:52,279 AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO PAY FOR IT 641 00:14:52,275 --> 00:14:53,895 OR CALL ROOM SERVICE FOR IT. 642 00:14:53,896 --> 00:14:55,756 >> PLEASE. I AM DONE. 643 00:14:55,758 --> 00:14:57,068 OKAY? 644 00:14:57,068 --> 00:14:59,618 I'M GONNA DIE A DRIED-UP 645 00:14:59,620 --> 00:15:01,660 OLD LADY LIVING IN A HOTEL, BUT 646 00:15:01,655 --> 00:15:03,135 AT LEAST A MAID WILL FIND MY 647 00:15:03,137 --> 00:15:03,827 BODY. 648 00:15:03,827 --> 00:15:04,927 AND I'M GONNA TIP HER IN 649 00:15:04,931 --> 00:15:06,211 ADVANCE, TOO, SO SHE CAN MAKE 650 00:15:06,206 --> 00:15:07,546 SURE I HAVE ON MY SUNDAY WEAVE 651 00:15:07,551 --> 00:15:08,971 AND I AIN'T GOT NOTHING STUCK IN 652 00:15:08,965 --> 00:15:09,895 MY TEETH. 653 00:15:09,896 --> 00:15:11,206 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 654 00:15:11,206 --> 00:15:12,406 >> WELL, I GUESS I'LLPUT UP A 655 00:15:12,413 --> 00:15:13,413 SIGN, TOO. 656 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:16,073 MINE WILL SAY, "FOR RECREATIONAL 657 00:15:16,068 --> 00:15:17,518 PURPOSES ONLY." 658 00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:20,097 >> [ LAUGHS ] 659 00:15:20,103 --> 00:15:21,143 >> YOU KNOW, WE EVEN TRIED 660 00:15:21,137 --> 00:15:22,207 IN VITRO FERTILIZATION. 661 00:15:22,206 --> 00:15:24,026 >> MM-HMM. Y'ALL WAS TRYING TO 662 00:15:24,034 --> 00:15:25,724 HAVE EIGHT BABIES AT ONCE. 663 00:15:25,724 --> 00:15:27,144 >> TASHA, YOU DON'T HAVE TO 664 00:15:27,137 --> 00:15:28,337 IMPLANT EIGHT EMBRYOS. 665 00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:29,624 YOU CAN DO ONE OR TWO. 666 00:15:29,620 --> 00:15:31,790 HERE, LET ME SHOW YOU. 667 00:15:31,793 --> 00:15:32,833 THOUSANDS OF WOMEN DO THIS 668 00:15:32,827 --> 00:15:33,857 ALL THE TIME WITHOUT HAVING 669 00:15:33,862 --> 00:15:34,762 MULTIPLE BIRTHS. 670 00:15:34,758 --> 00:15:35,898 >> MM-HMM. 671 00:15:35,896 --> 00:15:36,716 >> OKAY. 672 00:15:36,724 --> 00:15:38,004 SO... 673 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:38,660 [ CHIME RINGS ] 674 00:15:38,655 --> 00:15:39,855 WAIT A MINUTE. 675 00:15:39,862 --> 00:15:42,172 WHY DO I HAVE LIKE 12 NEW SOCIAL 676 00:15:42,172 --> 00:15:43,002 ALERTS? 677 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:43,860 >> MNH-MNH MNH. 678 00:15:43,862 --> 00:15:45,142 >> PEOPLE KEEP ON MESSAGING 679 00:15:45,137 --> 00:15:46,547 ABOUT A PARTY. 680 00:15:46,551 --> 00:15:48,001 LET'S SEE. MM. 681 00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:51,480 "HEY MELANIE, THANKS FOR NOT 682 00:15:51,482 --> 00:15:52,932 INVITING US TO YOUR PARTY. 683 00:15:52,931 --> 00:15:54,071 NICE PHOTO PICS." 684 00:15:54,068 --> 00:15:58,138 >> MM. 685 00:15:58,137 --> 00:15:59,827 >> [ LAUGHS ] 686 00:15:59,827 --> 00:16:01,997 OH, WOW. 687 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,930 TEE TEE IS POSTING PHOTOS OF A 688 00:16:03,931 --> 00:16:04,901 PARTY. 689 00:16:04,896 --> 00:16:05,826 [ SNICKERS ] 690 00:16:05,827 --> 00:16:06,687 WAIT A MINUTE. 691 00:16:06,689 --> 00:16:07,619 ISN'T THAT MYHOUSE? 692 00:16:07,620 --> 00:16:08,280 >> MM-HMM. 693 00:16:08,275 --> 00:16:10,065 >> ISN'T THAT MYCOUNTERTOP? 694 00:16:10,068 --> 00:16:12,208 >> MM-HMM. [ LAUGHS ] 695 00:16:12,206 --> 00:16:14,066 >> THAT SKANK IS STANDING ON MY 696 00:16:14,068 --> 00:16:15,098 KITCHEN COUNTERTOP! 697 00:16:15,103 --> 00:16:16,003 WAIT A MINUTE! 698 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,000 ISN'T THAT MY GRANDMOTHER'S 699 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:17,900 CHINA?! 700 00:16:17,896 --> 00:16:18,786 THESE PEOPLE ARE EATING THEIR 701 00:16:18,793 --> 00:16:20,623 GREASY CHICKEN AND BISCUITS ON 702 00:16:20,620 --> 00:16:22,590 MY BEAUTIFUL FAMILY HEIRLOOM! 703 00:16:22,586 --> 00:16:23,786 >> SEE, THAT'S WHY YOU NEED TO 704 00:16:23,793 --> 00:16:24,903 GET YOU ONE OF THEM CHINA 705 00:16:24,896 --> 00:16:25,926 HUTCHES, AND YOU CAN JUST 706 00:16:25,931 --> 00:16:27,101 LOCK UP ALL YOUR GOOD STUFF AND 707 00:16:27,103 --> 00:16:28,283 JUST BUY YOU SOME CHINET. 708 00:16:28,275 --> 00:16:29,685 >> TASHA, THERE'S A RAGING PARTY 709 00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:30,659 GOING ON AT MY HOUSE. 710 00:16:30,655 --> 00:16:31,785 THIS ISN'T THE TIME TO TALK 711 00:16:31,793 --> 00:16:32,593 ABOUT DINNERWARE! 712 00:16:32,586 --> 00:16:33,376 >> I'M JUST SAYIN'! 713 00:16:33,379 --> 00:16:34,689 OKAY, CHINET GOT SOME BEAUTIFUL 714 00:16:34,689 --> 00:16:35,339 STUFF, GIRL. 715 00:16:35,344 --> 00:16:36,594 THEY GOT ALL DIFFERENT KIND OF 716 00:16:36,586 --> 00:16:37,376 COLORS, HONEY. 717 00:16:37,379 --> 00:16:38,519 THEY EVEN GOT THEM MATCHING 718 00:16:38,517 --> 00:16:39,407 SPORKS YOU CAN USE. 719 00:16:39,413 --> 00:16:40,073 >> OH, MY GOD. 720 00:16:40,068 --> 00:16:41,278 DERWIN SAID THAT HE WAS JUST 721 00:16:41,275 --> 00:16:42,825 HAVING A SMALL POKER 722 00:16:42,827 --> 00:16:43,997 GET-TOGETHER. 723 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:44,900 NOW, WHY WOULD HE DO THIS, 724 00:16:44,896 --> 00:16:46,446 ESPECIALLY NOW?! 725 00:16:46,448 --> 00:16:48,548 >> OKAY, MELANIE, HONEY, CALM 726 00:16:48,551 --> 00:16:49,411 DOWN. 727 00:16:49,413 --> 00:16:50,073 OKAY? 728 00:16:50,068 --> 00:16:51,408 IT'S PROBABLY JUST A PART OF HIS 729 00:16:51,413 --> 00:16:52,283 PROCESS, ALL RIGHT? 730 00:16:52,275 --> 00:16:53,475 YOU GOT TO ALLOW THAT MAN TO 731 00:16:53,482 --> 00:16:58,382 GRIEVE IN HIS OWN WAY. 732 00:16:58,379 --> 00:16:59,099 >> MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT. 733 00:16:59,103 --> 00:17:00,173 >> DAMN IT, I KNOW I'M RIGHT, 734 00:17:00,172 --> 00:17:00,862 OKAY? 735 00:17:00,862 --> 00:17:01,902 JUST THE SAME WAY THAT YOU'RE 736 00:17:01,896 --> 00:17:03,096 HANDLING YOURS. 737 00:17:03,103 --> 00:17:04,553 TALKING ABOUT PUTTING YOUR EGGS 738 00:17:04,550 --> 00:17:05,760 IN SOMEBODY ELSE'S UTERUS. 739 00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:06,898 >> I'M NOT PUTTING MY EGGS IN 740 00:17:06,896 --> 00:17:07,686 SOMEONE ELSE'S UTERUS. 741 00:17:07,689 --> 00:17:08,339 >> MM-HMM. 742 00:17:08,344 --> 00:17:09,594 >> NO, I DON'T THINK I CAN GO 743 00:17:09,586 --> 00:17:10,856 THROUGH HIRING SOME STRANGER TO 744 00:17:10,862 --> 00:17:12,142 CARRY THE MOST PRECIOUS THING IN 745 00:17:12,137 --> 00:17:13,957 OUR LIVES FOR NINE MONTHS. 746 00:17:13,964 --> 00:17:15,794 >> THEN WHAT ABOUT A RELATIVE? 747 00:17:15,792 --> 00:17:17,452 WHAT ABOUT THAT LITTLE SKINNY 748 00:17:17,448 --> 00:17:18,858 COUSIN OF YOURS -- JOAN? 749 00:17:18,862 --> 00:17:20,382 >> SHE HATES ME BECAUSE I DIDN'T 750 00:17:20,378 --> 00:17:21,758 INVITE HER TO OUR WEDDING. 751 00:17:21,758 --> 00:17:22,958 I'D HAVE LESS OF A CHANCE WITH 752 00:17:22,964 --> 00:17:24,174 HER THAN I WOULD WITH YOU TO ASK 753 00:17:24,172 --> 00:17:24,962 TO CARRY OUR BABY. 754 00:17:24,964 --> 00:17:26,524 "HEY, TASHA, WOULD YOU MIND IF I 755 00:17:26,517 --> 00:17:27,927 THROW MY EGGS IN YOUR RUSTY OLD 756 00:17:27,931 --> 00:17:28,591 SKILLET?" 757 00:17:28,586 --> 00:17:30,306 >> GIRL, YOU'D BE LUCKY TO USE 758 00:17:30,310 --> 00:17:32,140 MY ALL-CLAD COOKWARE TO INCUBATE 759 00:17:32,137 --> 00:17:33,237 YOUR EGGS, HONEY. 760 00:17:33,241 --> 00:17:37,211 MY CALPHALON, MY LE CREUSET. 761 00:17:37,206 --> 00:17:41,546 MY COOCHIE SPIT OUT STARS. 762 00:17:41,551 --> 00:17:42,861 >> OH, MY GOD. 763 00:17:42,862 --> 00:17:44,482 OH, MY GOD, THAT'S IT! 764 00:17:44,482 --> 00:17:45,762 >> WHAT'S WHAT? 765 00:17:45,758 --> 00:17:47,688 >> TASHA, CAN DERWIN AND I USE 766 00:17:47,689 --> 00:17:49,519 YOUR LE CREUSET TO COOK OUR 767 00:17:49,517 --> 00:17:50,237 BABIES? 768 00:17:50,241 --> 00:17:52,791 >> HELL, NO. 769 00:17:52,793 --> 00:17:54,213 PLEASE, I'M WITH JOAN ON THAT. 770 00:17:54,206 --> 00:17:55,476 >> BUT YOU SAID YOU WERE GIVING 771 00:17:55,482 --> 00:17:56,412 UP SEX ANYWAY, RIGHT? 772 00:17:56,413 --> 00:17:57,663 IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA USE YOUR 773 00:17:57,655 --> 00:17:58,785 GIRLY PARTS, MAYBE WE CAN BORROW 774 00:17:58,793 --> 00:17:59,483 THEM. 775 00:17:59,482 --> 00:18:01,212 ONCE YOU POP THE BABY OUT, YOU 776 00:18:01,206 --> 00:18:02,406 CAN RETIRE FOR GOOD. 777 00:18:02,413 --> 00:18:04,143 IT'LL BE LIKE GIVING YOUR UTERUS 778 00:18:04,137 --> 00:18:08,137 THE LAST HURRAH. 779 00:18:08,137 --> 00:18:09,657 >> IT WOULD BE NICE TO SEE ALL 780 00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:11,065 OF THIS DOWN HERE GO OUT IN A 781 00:18:11,068 --> 00:18:13,998 BLAZE OF GLORY. 782 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,070 I COULD DO SOMETHING MEANINGFUL 783 00:18:16,068 --> 00:18:17,518 INSTEAD OF SOMETHING I MIGHT 784 00:18:17,517 --> 00:18:19,337 INSTEAD OF SOMETHING I MIGHT REGRET THE NEXT MORNING. 785 00:18:19,344 --> 00:18:22,314 REGRET THE NEXT MORNING. 786 00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:24,310 OKAY. 787 00:18:24,310 --> 00:18:26,520 I'LL DO IT. 788 00:18:26,517 --> 00:18:27,787 I'LL BE YOUR SKILLET. 789 00:18:27,793 --> 00:18:29,763 >> OH, MY GOD, TASHA, THANK YOU! 790 00:18:29,758 --> 00:18:30,688 OH! 791 00:18:30,689 --> 00:18:32,659 THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! 792 00:18:32,655 --> 00:18:34,895 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 793 00:18:34,896 --> 00:18:35,826 OH, MY GOD! 794 00:18:35,827 --> 00:18:36,897 NOW ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS 795 00:18:36,896 --> 00:18:37,616 CONVINCE DERWIN. 796 00:18:37,620 --> 00:18:38,790 >> [ Sighing ] OKAY. 797 00:18:38,793 --> 00:18:40,103 >> OH, MY GOD. 798 00:18:40,103 --> 00:18:42,073 WE'RE HAVING A BABY! 799 00:18:42,068 --> 00:18:45,898 [ LAUGHS ] 800 00:18:45,896 --> 00:18:46,996 >> YEAH, CAN I SPEAK TO JENNA, 801 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,690 PLEASE? 802 00:18:49,689 --> 00:18:52,239 WHAT'S UP, BABY? 803 00:18:52,241 --> 00:18:53,551 [ CHUCKLES ] 804 00:18:53,551 --> 00:18:55,551 WHAT YOU DOING? 805 00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:57,001 YEAH? 806 00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,030 HOW WAS REHAB? 807 00:18:59,034 --> 00:19:00,524 [ FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING ] 808 00:19:00,517 --> 00:19:01,857 [ CHUCKLES ] 809 00:19:01,862 --> 00:19:04,692 YEAH, HANGING OUT HERE WITH 810 00:19:04,689 --> 00:19:05,859 THESE DRUNK FOOLS MAKES ME 811 00:19:05,862 --> 00:19:07,452 THESE DRUNK FOOLS MAKES ME MISS IT. 812 00:19:07,502 --> 00:19:12,052 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 49339

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