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>> There you go!
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Come on, shake what your mama
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gave ya.
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>> Hey, what's up, champ?
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How you doing?
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How's daddy's man, okay?
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>> Excuse me.
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Uh, is daddy interrupting our
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little Dougie, huh?
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Come here.
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>> Janay, enough with the baby
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talk, okay?
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You're stifling his language
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development, yo.
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Haven't I told you about this
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little baby mess?
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>> Okay, it's tot hop.
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And I thought I told you we
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wouldn't be done until 10:30.
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>> You--you--you did.
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You did.
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But what you didn't tell me was
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about you being engaged.
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I mean, when was you gonna tell
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me about that, huh?
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>> Freaking Melanie.
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>> Yeah.
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Just so you know, I'm not gonna
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let you go through with it.
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>> Whoa, excuse me.
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>> [laughs]
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>> [laughs]
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Since when do you
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dictate what I can and can't do?
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>> Since I dictated that baby in
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you.
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>> Oh, really?
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>> Oh, really.
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>>> What's your problem, Derwin,
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hmm?
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I don't deserve to be happy?
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>> No, no, it's--it's--you can
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be happy.
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But my problem is that you hid
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this dude from me for God knows
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how long, which means he was
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around my son.
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Okay?
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I mean, what else are you hiding
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from me?
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>> Oh, please.
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I hid this from you because I
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knew you'd act like this.
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Yeah, supposedly you don't wanna
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be with me.
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But every time I'm with someone
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else, you show your ass.
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[whispers] And it's out right
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now.
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>> Please, get over yourself,
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okay?
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I'm worried about my son, okay?
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I don't know this dude.
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I mean, come on, a black dude
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with the name Noah who writes a
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blog and loves Dave Matthews?
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>> Are you kidding me?
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>> What?
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>> After all the stunts that
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Melanie's pulled with DJ, and
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you wanna question my man?
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You should be lucky I even allow
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him around you anymore.
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>> Is everything all right?
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I have mace.
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>> It's--it's okay Tessa.
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This is just DJ's sperm donor.
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>>> Derwin Davis?
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Jackpot.
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>> What's up?
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>> I'd like to raid that
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freezer.
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>> Okay, can you give us a
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moment?
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>> Sure.
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P.S., DJ pooped himself.
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>> Look, you can hire your
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lawyers.
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You can pout.
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You can do whatever you want,
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but I'm going forward with that
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wedding.
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Yeah.
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Yeah.
>> ♪
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>> ♪
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>> Uh, I mean whoever designed
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this house obviously didn't have
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a stiletto-wearing girl in mind.
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I mean--
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>> I trip and almost break my
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neck every time I go over this,
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and I'm in flats.
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Tadaow'll take care of it.
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>> Oh, what would I do without
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you?
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>> Uh, swallow your windows in
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[unintelligible].
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>> Hey!
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I love that color.
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It matches the new paint
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perfectly.
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>> Maybe if you're one of "The
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Real Housewives of New Jersey"
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and we were decorating your
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dining room in 14K gold.
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How about this?
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>> [doorbell rings]
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>> Um, I mean, it doesn't make
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me vomit like the staircase
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banisters make me vomit.
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>> Perfect, the silk
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[unintelligible] it is.
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Tadaow wins.
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>> Oh my God.
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Janay, I didn't know you were
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coming by today.
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You're just in time to see the
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fabrics I'm picking out for my
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living room.
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What do you think?
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>> I think I was an idiot for
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trusting your baby-swabbing ass.
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>> Oh God, Janay, are we still
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on that?
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>> You swore that you weren't
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gonna tell Derwin about me and
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Noah.
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>> What?
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Oh my God, and he swore he
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wouldn't tell you.
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Damn Derwin.
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>> You know what?
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Not your fault.
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Mm-hmm.
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I had a brief moment of
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vulnerability.
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And I just opened up thinking
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maybe I would give her a chance
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to make up for all the crappy,
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back-stabbing BS you've done in
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the past.
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So you know what?
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I'm sorry.
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I'm sorry your back-stabbing,
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boozy-ash wannabe doctor trick.
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Yeah, Tasha tweets were right.
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>> Oh, is Tasha tweeting again?
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>> Look, J, I'm sorry.
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>> Mm, you are sorry.
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>> Wait!
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Wait.
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You came by today because you
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need help fixing this.
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Let me make it right.
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>> I'm so over this.
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I just wanna move on with my
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life.
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>> Okay, I have an idea.
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If I fix it, we're cool, okay?
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And if not, you can keep hating
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me.
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Look, Janay, I am not a horrible
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person.
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And I don't want you or anyone
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else thinking that I am.
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Including Tasha's followers,
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Tadaow.
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>> Oh, don't worry, honey.
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She's not tweeting about you
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today.
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Just some mess about "I'm
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balling, tell your friends."
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[sighs]
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God, I love her.
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>> I'm sorry, I didn't order
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another one.
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>> A Crown Royale for a queen.
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>> You know what?
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You have two seconds to get out
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of my face before I call the
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cops and tell them a gentleman
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wearing some cheap shoes and
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even cheaper cologne trying to
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solicit me with his penis.
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What is that?
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Is that Drakkar Noir?
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>> Yes, yes, it is.
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And I guess I deserve that.
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>> Yeah, and I deserve my three
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grand back that you tricked me
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into paying you for sex with.
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Tricky little ho.
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>> Hey, look, I can see where
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there was a bit of confusion on
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our first sexual encounter.
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But didn't nobody
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tricked nobody.
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>> No, Negro, because I was
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the trick.
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>> Mama!
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Yo, ma!
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>> Hey.
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>> Oh, look like somebody had a
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little date and didn't tell me.
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>> MALIK: Mm.
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>> Well, ain't you gonna
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introduce me?
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>> Hey, I'm Reynardo St. James.
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Man, how you doing?
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I'm a friend of your mother's?
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>> You a friend?
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What kind of friend you is to
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your mama, huh?
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What, special friend?
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[laughs] Huh?
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With benefits though?
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>> Oh, no, the only benefit I
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get is spending time with your
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mother, when she allows me.
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>> Well, she ain't gonna allow
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ya, because my mama don't get
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down like that.
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>> Malik, you don't know
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how I get down.
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>> Tasha, ease up on him.
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He's just looking out for his
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mother.
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>> Yeah, tell her, St. James.
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>> Hey!
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Sorry I'm late.
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I had a big wing order to fill,
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but I can't say who it was.
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[whispers] Aretha Franklin.
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She wiped me all out of ranch.
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What's up, man?
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>> Hey.
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How you're doing?
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>> Who's that?
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>> This is my friend.
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This is Reynardo St. James.
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>> A word in private, Miss Mack.
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>> A word in private, Miss Mack.
>> Mm.
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>> Mm.
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>> This is James Ingram?
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If that's James Ingram, I'm
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Billy Ocean.
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>> Okay, what can I say?
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All right.
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I had on my [unintelliglble]
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goggles that night.
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>> Oh, well, hey.
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I guess beggars can't be
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choosers.
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I mean, after dating a high
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school kid and a dude who was
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pretending to die last year, I'd
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say even a fake James Ingram is
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a step up for you.
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So what's he do?
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>> He's a businessman.
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>> Oh, for real?
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What kind of business?
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>> The none-of-your-damn kind of
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business.
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All right, now come on, T.T.
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>> So, Reynardo, why don't you
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tell me a little bit about
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yourself, bro?
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Hmm?
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What you do?
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Where you from?
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What would you do for a Klondike
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Bar?
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>> Okay, Malik, what is up with
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all the damn questions?
286
00:06:00,931 --> 00:06:01,521
Come on.
287
00:06:01,517 --> 00:06:02,207
>> Tasha, Tasha.
288
00:06:02,206 --> 00:06:02,786
It's cool, baby.
289
00:06:02,793 --> 00:06:04,313
I got this.
290
00:06:04,310 --> 00:06:05,720
I'm a relationship therapist.
291
00:06:05,724 --> 00:06:06,764
I'm from Bakersfield.
292
00:06:06,758 --> 00:06:07,518
And frankly I wouldn't do a damn
293
00:06:07,517 --> 00:06:09,717
thing for a Klondike Bar.
294
00:06:09,724 --> 00:06:12,724
I prefer Whoopie Pies.
295
00:06:12,724 --> 00:06:13,344
Look, why don't we order
296
00:06:13,344 --> 00:06:14,004
something to eat?
297
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,030
My treat.
298
00:06:15,034 --> 00:06:16,284
>> Oh.
299
00:06:16,275 --> 00:06:16,995
>> Yeah?
300
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:17,620
>> All right.
301
00:06:17,620 --> 00:06:18,240
That's what's up.
302
00:06:18,241 --> 00:06:19,521
That's what's up.
I like this guy.
303
00:06:19,517 --> 00:06:22,757
I like this guy.
304
00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:23,338
>> Wait, wait.
305
00:06:23,344 --> 00:06:24,384
Look, look, you're gonna wait
306
00:06:24,379 --> 00:06:25,169
right here.
307
00:06:25,172 --> 00:06:25,792
>> Oh, really?
308
00:06:25,793 --> 00:06:26,553
>> I'm gonna get that thing you
309
00:06:26,551 --> 00:06:27,031
left.
310
00:06:27,034 --> 00:06:27,764
>> You gonna get that thing
311
00:06:27,758 --> 00:06:28,858
>> You gonna get that thing
thang.
312
00:06:28,862 --> 00:06:39,662
thang.
313
00:06:39,655 --> 00:06:41,205
>> Here you go.
314
00:06:41,206 --> 00:06:42,996
>> [laughs] Really?
315
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:43,970
A hotel towel?
316
00:06:43,965 --> 00:06:44,515
>> What?
317
00:06:44,517 --> 00:06:46,277
You used it, you bought it.
318
00:06:46,275 --> 00:06:47,025
>> Look, Tasha, if you wanted me
319
00:06:47,034 --> 00:06:47,934
to come here and spend some time
320
00:06:47,931 --> 00:06:48,691
with you, all you had to do was
321
00:06:48,689 --> 00:06:50,029
say so.
322
00:06:50,034 --> 00:06:50,834
Huh, you don't gotta lie to kick
323
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:51,997
it.
324
00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:53,210
So no little transactions, all
325
00:06:53,206 --> 00:06:54,336
right?
326
00:06:54,344 --> 00:06:57,004
We're not playing no games.
327
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,720
Unless of course you want to.
328
00:06:58,724 --> 00:06:59,594
>> Negro, look, I ain't playing
329
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:00,756
no games unless you got my
330
00:07:00,758 --> 00:07:02,028
$3,000.
331
00:07:02,034 --> 00:07:02,724
>> Uh, uh, uh, uh.
332
00:07:02,724 --> 00:07:03,724
>> Uh, uh, uh.
333
00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:04,414
>> No, no, no.
334
00:07:04,413 --> 00:07:05,103
Look, I told you I got a
335
00:07:05,103 --> 00:07:06,343
no-refund policy, all right?
336
00:07:06,344 --> 00:07:07,594
All sales are final.
337
00:07:07,586 --> 00:07:08,756
Except with damaged goods and
338
00:07:08,758 --> 00:07:10,068
with exception of the one
339
00:07:10,068 --> 00:07:11,828
missing walnut, everything else
340
00:07:11,827 --> 00:07:15,137
is in fine working condition.
341
00:07:15,137 --> 00:07:15,997
I like you.
342
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:16,790
I wanna spend some more time
343
00:07:16,793 --> 00:07:17,413
with you, Tasha.
344
00:07:17,413 --> 00:07:18,623
Come on, is that such a crime?
345
00:07:18,620 --> 00:07:19,520
>> Yes, it's called
346
00:07:19,517 --> 00:07:20,967
solicitation.
347
00:07:20,965 --> 00:07:23,335
Ask your ho friends.
348
00:07:23,344 --> 00:07:25,864
>> [laughs] Wow.
349
00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:27,212
>> [laughs] Wow.
>> Yeah.
350
00:07:27,206 --> 00:07:37,206
>> Yeah.
351
00:07:37,206 --> 00:07:37,966
>> Okay, look.
352
00:07:37,965 --> 00:07:38,895
Do not be thinking that you're
353
00:07:38,896 --> 00:07:39,856
gonna be running things just
354
00:07:39,862 --> 00:07:41,172
because you're up in here.
355
00:07:41,172 --> 00:07:42,522
Hey, what--hey, what you doing?
356
00:07:42,517 --> 00:07:43,277
>> Trying to calm your bossy ass
357
00:07:43,275 --> 00:07:44,275
down.
358
00:07:44,275 --> 00:07:46,335
>> Say what?
359
00:07:46,344 --> 00:07:47,384
>> Mm-hmm.
360
00:07:47,379 --> 00:07:48,029
>> Ooh.
361
00:07:48,034 --> 00:07:49,764
>> Mm-hmm.
362
00:07:49,758 --> 00:07:52,378
Mm-hmm, yeah.
363
00:07:52,379 --> 00:07:53,449
Yeah, see that's normally $15
364
00:07:53,448 --> 00:07:54,898
right there.
365
00:07:54,896 --> 00:07:55,896
>> Oh.
366
00:07:55,896 --> 00:07:57,476
How you know that was my T spot?
367
00:07:57,482 --> 00:07:58,932
>> [laughs]
368
00:07:58,931 --> 00:07:59,901
'Cause it's a professional's
369
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:04,656
job to know these things.
370
00:08:04,655 --> 00:08:06,335
Listen, we don't have to go any
371
00:08:06,344 --> 00:08:06,904
further.
372
00:08:06,896 --> 00:08:10,546
We can just talk if you like.
373
00:08:10,551 --> 00:08:14,931
We can just talk if you like.
>> ♪
374
00:08:14,931 --> 00:08:24,101
>> ♪
375
00:08:24,103 --> 00:08:25,903
>> ♪
>> Mm.
376
00:08:25,896 --> 00:08:27,616
>> Mm.
377
00:08:27,620 --> 00:08:30,210
Hey.
378
00:08:30,206 --> 00:08:32,306
Hey.
Aren't you forgetting something?
379
00:08:32,309 --> 00:08:40,619
Aren't you forgetting something?
380
00:08:40,620 --> 00:08:43,620
I was talking about the money.
381
00:08:43,620 --> 00:08:45,550
I was talking about the money.
>> Last night was on the house.
382
00:08:45,551 --> 00:08:50,621
>> Last night was on the house.
383
00:08:50,620 --> 00:08:53,000
> Okay.
384
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,450
Got it.
385
00:08:54,448 --> 00:08:57,998
>> All right, man, what's up?
386
00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:01,100
Ooh.
387
00:09:01,103 --> 00:09:02,413
Do you wanna leave, boo?
388
00:09:02,413 --> 00:09:03,213
'Cause that's like the third one
389
00:09:03,206 --> 00:09:03,996
tonight.
390
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:04,720
How we gonna get through our
391
00:09:04,724 --> 00:09:05,314
meal?
392
00:09:05,310 --> 00:09:06,000
>> Mm.
393
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,210
No, we can't leave.
394
00:09:07,206 --> 00:09:08,446
>> Why not?
395
00:09:08,448 --> 00:09:09,518
>> Well, they have my favorite
396
00:09:09,517 --> 00:09:10,307
cocktail.
397
00:09:10,310 --> 00:09:11,340
And I've had one too many.
398
00:09:11,344 --> 00:09:12,594
And I really have to go to the
399
00:09:12,586 --> 00:09:14,926
bathroom.
400
00:09:14,931 --> 00:09:16,861
>> Okay.
401
00:09:16,862 --> 00:09:17,692
Are you okay?
402
00:09:17,689 --> 00:09:19,859
>> Yeah.
403
00:09:19,862 --> 00:09:20,722
>> [laughing]
404
00:09:20,724 --> 00:09:22,144
>> Mel, you're so silly.
405
00:09:22,137 --> 00:09:23,207
>> Mind if I sit down?
406
00:09:23,206 --> 00:09:23,966
>> No, man, I'm having dinner
407
00:09:23,965 --> 00:09:26,475
with my--
408
00:09:26,482 --> 00:09:28,312
freakin' Melanie.
409
00:09:28,310 --> 00:09:29,000
>> I'm not here to cause any
410
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:29,860
drama.
411
00:09:29,862 --> 00:09:33,452
All right, look...I get it.
412
00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:34,688
You're concerned about your son.
413
00:09:34,689 --> 00:09:35,659
I would be, too, if some random
414
00:09:35,655 --> 00:09:36,715
dude I've never met before all
415
00:09:36,724 --> 00:09:37,594
the sudden was gonna be a part
416
00:09:37,586 --> 00:09:39,136
of his life.
417
00:09:39,137 --> 00:09:41,027
So here's who I am.
418
00:09:41,034 --> 00:09:42,344
I've got no ex-wives, no baby
419
00:09:42,344 --> 00:09:43,794
mamas.
420
00:09:43,793 --> 00:09:44,663
I don't do drugs.
421
00:09:44,655 --> 00:09:45,995
Don't care for liquor.
422
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:46,720
With the exception of a few
423
00:09:46,724 --> 00:09:48,144
right-wing nut jobs, I'm enemy
424
00:09:48,137 --> 00:09:50,517
free.
425
00:09:50,517 --> 00:09:52,687
>> Now look here, new guy, that
426
00:09:52,689 --> 00:09:54,239
sounds all cool and the gang.
427
00:09:54,241 --> 00:09:55,001
And I don't have anything
428
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,830
against you personally.
429
00:09:56,827 --> 00:09:57,587
But understand where I'm coming
430
00:09:57,586 --> 00:09:58,206
from.
431
00:09:58,206 --> 00:10:00,376
A week ago, you did not exist.
432
00:10:00,379 --> 00:10:01,449
Now here you are in my house
433
00:10:01,448 --> 00:10:02,208
breaking bread and kicking with
434
00:10:02,206 --> 00:10:02,966
my family.
435
00:10:02,965 --> 00:10:04,165
>> Wait, wait, wait, wait.
436
00:10:04,172 --> 00:10:05,142
With all due respect,
437
00:10:05,137 --> 00:10:05,757
Derwin, I--
438
00:10:05,758 --> 00:10:06,518
>> And as you say, with all due
439
00:10:06,517 --> 00:10:07,337
respect, and then go say
440
00:10:07,344 --> 00:10:08,764
something disrespectful, we're
441
00:10:08,758 --> 00:10:12,168
gonna have a problem.
442
00:10:12,172 --> 00:10:14,002
>> With all due respect, I
443
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:15,410
thought this was about DJ?
444
00:10:15,413 --> 00:10:16,033
>> Careful.
445
00:10:16,034 --> 00:10:16,864
>> Okay, you think you can throw
446
00:10:16,862 --> 00:10:18,312
around this my word--my family,
447
00:10:18,310 --> 00:10:19,280
my house.
448
00:10:19,275 --> 00:10:20,925
>> I bought Janay that house.
449
00:10:20,931 --> 00:10:21,661
>> It doesn't mean you own
450
00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:24,165
Janay.
451
00:10:24,172 --> 00:10:25,552
I came here out of a respect for
452
00:10:25,551 --> 00:10:26,411
a man who's concerned for his
453
00:10:26,413 --> 00:10:28,003
son.
454
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:28,660
Now I'm starting to think
455
00:10:28,655 --> 00:10:29,655
there's more to it.
456
00:10:29,655 --> 00:10:30,405
Like maybe you still got a thing
457
00:10:30,413 --> 00:10:33,693
for Janay.
458
00:10:33,689 --> 00:10:34,789
>> Okay, my man, you need to get
459
00:10:34,793 --> 00:10:36,453
up away from my tables.
460
00:10:36,448 --> 00:10:37,138
>> There you go with the my
461
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:37,787
again.
462
00:10:37,793 --> 00:10:38,903
I'm not asking your permission
463
00:10:38,896 --> 00:10:40,616
to marry Janay.
464
00:10:40,620 --> 00:10:42,000
Okay, really, if you wanna--
465
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:42,760
>> Hold--hold on a second.
466
00:10:42,758 --> 00:10:44,928
Yo, you filming me, dude?
467
00:10:44,931 --> 00:10:46,211
>> Just doing my job, buddy.
468
00:10:46,206 --> 00:10:46,856
It sounds like a heated
469
00:10:46,862 --> 00:10:47,452
conversation.
470
00:10:47,448 --> 00:10:48,548
Lover's quarrel?
471
00:10:48,551 --> 00:10:49,311
>> Hey, look, you've got two
472
00:10:49,310 --> 00:10:50,760
seconds to turn that camera off.
473
00:10:50,758 --> 00:10:51,518
>> Oh, man, it's a free country,
474
00:10:51,517 --> 00:10:52,207
Davis.
475
00:10:52,206 --> 00:10:52,996
Haven't you heard of freedom of
476
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,000
the press?
477
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,140
>> Oh, I'm sorry.
478
00:10:55,137 --> 00:10:55,827
Haven't you heard of an
479
00:10:55,827 --> 00:10:57,617
accident.
480
00:10:57,620 --> 00:10:58,930
accident.
>> Hey.
481
00:10:58,931 --> 00:11:01,591
>> Hey.
482
00:11:01,586 --> 00:11:05,096
>> Um...thanks for that.
483
00:11:05,103 --> 00:11:07,103
>> You're welcome.
484
00:11:07,103 --> 00:11:07,833
You think we can finish our
485
00:11:07,827 --> 00:11:12,277
conversation?
486
00:11:12,275 --> 00:11:13,615
conversation?
>> Sure, why not?
487
00:11:13,620 --> 00:11:18,860
>> Sure, why not?
488
00:11:18,862 --> 00:11:22,932
>> Caleb, stop that.
489
00:11:22,931 --> 00:11:23,661
Caleb's been eating a lot of
490
00:11:23,655 --> 00:11:25,205
dirt lately.
491
00:11:25,206 --> 00:11:26,026
But I mean all kids do weird
492
00:11:26,034 --> 00:11:26,934
things, right?
493
00:11:26,931 --> 00:11:28,451
>> [phone ringing]
494
00:11:28,448 --> 00:11:29,758
>> Oh.
495
00:11:29,758 --> 00:11:31,928
Excuse me.
496
00:11:31,931 --> 00:11:33,591
Yes, Melanie?
497
00:11:33,586 --> 00:11:36,306
>> So...you...
498
00:11:36,310 --> 00:11:38,100
heard about last night?
499
00:11:38,103 --> 00:11:39,283
>> Yes.
500
00:11:39,275 --> 00:11:42,995
>> So...do you remember what you
501
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:44,690
said if I made things right?
502
00:11:44,689 --> 00:11:45,379
>> If you keep talking like
503
00:11:45,379 --> 00:11:46,969
this, I'm gonna hang up on you.
504
00:11:46,965 --> 00:11:48,585
>> I'm sorry, it's just I'm so
505
00:11:48,586 --> 00:11:49,926
excited we made a turn in our
506
00:11:49,931 --> 00:11:51,141
relationship.
507
00:11:51,137 --> 00:11:51,927
And it's just one of the quirky
508
00:11:51,931 --> 00:11:52,621
things I do.
509
00:11:52,620 --> 00:11:53,550
You'll get used to it.
510
00:11:53,551 --> 00:11:54,311
>> Yeah, well, Melanie, I've got
511
00:11:54,310 --> 00:11:55,100
to run.
512
00:11:55,103 --> 00:11:56,173
>> Oh, where you running?
513
00:11:56,172 --> 00:11:56,902
>> JANAY: I've gotta do some
514
00:11:56,896 --> 00:11:57,516
dress shopping.
515
00:11:57,517 --> 00:11:58,207
>> Oh, my God, wedding dress
516
00:11:58,206 --> 00:11:59,066
shopping?
517
00:11:59,068 --> 00:11:59,828
>> JANAY: Yeah, I haven't even
518
00:11:59,827 --> 00:12:01,067
started yet.
519
00:12:01,068 --> 00:12:01,968
And when you find one, it takes
520
00:12:01,965 --> 00:12:03,235
six to eight weeks.
521
00:12:03,241 --> 00:12:04,621
>> I'd love to.
522
00:12:04,620 --> 00:12:05,900
>> Uh, you'd love to what?
523
00:12:05,896 --> 00:12:06,586
>> Well, I'd love to go with
524
00:12:06,586 --> 00:12:07,136
you.
525
00:12:07,137 --> 00:12:07,967
I mean, that's what you're
526
00:12:07,965 --> 00:12:09,025
getting to, right?
527
00:12:09,034 --> 00:12:09,974
>> Sure.
528
00:12:09,965 --> 00:12:12,095
Uh...meet me at La Fleur Bridal
529
00:12:12,103 --> 00:12:13,003
at 4.
530
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,930
>> Okay, I'll see you there.
531
00:12:14,931 --> 00:12:15,621
>> JANAY: Melanie.
532
00:12:15,620 --> 00:12:16,720
>> JANAY: Melanie.
>> Okay, I'll see you then.
533
00:12:16,724 --> 00:12:19,484
>> Okay, I'll see you then.
534
00:12:19,482 --> 00:12:21,002
>> All right.
535
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:24,520
>> ♪
536
00:12:24,517 --> 00:12:26,997
>> Courtesy of the young lady.
537
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,170
>> Nah.
538
00:12:29,172 --> 00:12:30,172
>> Hey.
539
00:12:30,172 --> 00:12:30,862
>> Ma.
540
00:12:30,862 --> 00:12:31,792
>> I know, baby, mama's so sorry
541
00:12:31,793 --> 00:12:33,073
she's late, honey.
542
00:12:33,068 --> 00:12:33,998
Whoo, I just had a kink in my
543
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:36,030
neck that I could not work out.
544
00:12:36,034 --> 00:12:37,004
I had to go down there and get a
545
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,210
masseuse come up to the room,
546
00:12:38,206 --> 00:12:39,136
get me one of them full-body
547
00:12:39,137 --> 00:12:39,857
"Shih Tzus".
548
00:12:39,862 --> 00:12:40,452
>> Shiatsu.
549
00:12:40,448 --> 00:12:41,448
>> Now what now?
550
00:12:41,448 --> 00:12:42,448
>> Shih Tzu's a little squeaky,
551
00:12:42,448 --> 00:12:43,478
barky-ass dog, kinda like your
552
00:12:43,482 --> 00:12:45,002
boy.
553
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:45,690
>> Malik, what you talking
554
00:12:45,689 --> 00:12:46,339
about?
555
00:12:46,344 --> 00:12:49,624
>> Peep your boy, ma.
556
00:12:49,620 --> 00:12:50,620
Got some damn nerve bringing her
557
00:12:50,620 --> 00:12:51,900
up in our hotel.
558
00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:53,066
This bar is practically our
559
00:12:53,068 --> 00:12:53,688
kitchen.
560
00:12:53,689 --> 00:12:54,659
That bathroom practically our
561
00:12:54,655 --> 00:12:55,755
bathroom.
562
00:12:55,758 --> 00:12:56,898
This waitress is damn near our
563
00:12:56,896 --> 00:12:58,206
maid.
564
00:12:58,206 --> 00:12:59,966
Clean that up.
565
00:12:59,965 --> 00:13:00,655
>> Come on.
566
00:13:00,655 --> 00:13:01,515
Malik, I think we should go,
567
00:13:01,517 --> 00:13:02,237
baby.
568
00:13:02,241 --> 00:13:02,971
>> Oh hell no.
569
00:13:02,965 --> 00:13:03,715
We ain't going nowhere until you
570
00:13:03,724 --> 00:13:04,974
step to that little black oompa
571
00:13:04,965 --> 00:13:05,615
loompa.
572
00:13:05,620 --> 00:13:06,310
Come on.
573
00:13:06,310 --> 00:13:07,550
>> Malik, we don't--
574
00:13:07,551 --> 00:13:09,101
>> Get--
575
00:13:09,103 --> 00:13:10,143
>> Get--
Come on.
576
00:13:10,137 --> 00:13:12,207
Come on.
577
00:13:12,206 --> 00:13:14,826
Well, well, well.
578
00:13:14,827 --> 00:13:15,477
Look who escaped from the
579
00:13:15,482 --> 00:13:17,382
chocolate factory.
580
00:13:17,379 --> 00:13:18,209
>> What's up, Malik?
581
00:13:18,206 --> 00:13:19,306
>> Get that out of my face.
582
00:13:19,310 --> 00:13:20,070
I know where that hand has been.
583
00:13:20,068 --> 00:13:20,898
I know it ain't been where it's
584
00:13:20,896 --> 00:13:22,136
supposed to be.
585
00:13:22,137 --> 00:13:23,657
I shouldn't have said that.
586
00:13:23,655 --> 00:13:24,715
>> Reynardo, this was supposed
587
00:13:24,724 --> 00:13:25,624
to be my time.
588
00:13:25,620 --> 00:13:26,790
>> No the hell it ain't, woman.
589
00:13:26,793 --> 00:13:27,523
It's supposed to be my mama's
590
00:13:27,517 --> 00:13:28,167
time.
591
00:13:28,172 --> 00:13:29,312
Her twilight years.
592
00:13:29,310 --> 00:13:30,760
You know how long it has taken
593
00:13:30,758 --> 00:13:31,858
my mama to recover?
594
00:13:31,862 --> 00:13:32,902
Failed relationship after failed
595
00:13:32,896 --> 00:13:34,656
relationship?
596
00:13:34,655 --> 00:13:36,585
Coach T, Rick Fox, little
597
00:13:36,586 --> 00:13:38,206
underage man child, the dude who
598
00:13:38,206 --> 00:13:40,136
lied and said he was dying just
599
00:13:40,137 --> 00:13:40,857
so he could get some ass.
600
00:13:40,862 --> 00:13:42,002
Do you remember him, mama?
601
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:42,790
I remember him.
602
00:13:42,793 --> 00:13:43,623
He had her running up and down
603
00:13:43,620 --> 00:13:44,450
the street naked.
604
00:13:44,448 --> 00:13:45,238
The only thing left for my mama
605
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:46,861
to do is become a lesbian.
606
00:13:46,862 --> 00:13:47,972
>> Oh.
607
00:13:47,965 --> 00:13:48,715
>> Mama, you ain't been playing
608
00:13:48,724 --> 00:13:50,724
in the cat box, have you?
609
00:13:50,724 --> 00:13:51,384
>> Why don't you take him,
610
00:13:51,379 --> 00:13:51,999
honey?
611
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:52,790
You obviously need him more than
612
00:13:52,793 --> 00:13:55,793
I do.
613
00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:56,933
>> Gloria?
614
00:13:56,931 --> 00:13:59,241
>> Mm-hmm.
615
00:13:59,241 --> 00:13:59,971
>> Tasha, you need to check
616
00:13:59,965 --> 00:14:00,585
yourself.
617
00:14:00,586 --> 00:14:01,586
>> What, boy?
618
00:14:01,586 --> 00:14:03,686
No, my mama needs to check you.
619
00:14:03,689 --> 00:14:04,859
Here, handle your business, ma.
620
00:14:04,862 --> 00:14:05,552
>> Malik, what the hell am I
621
00:14:05,551 --> 00:14:06,241
supposed to do with this?
622
00:14:06,241 --> 00:14:06,901
>> Throw it at his face.
623
00:14:06,896 --> 00:14:07,656
That's what girls do to me when
624
00:14:07,655 --> 00:14:08,615
they catch me here.
625
00:14:08,620 --> 00:14:09,380
>> [whispers] Malik, I can't do
626
00:14:09,379 --> 00:14:09,899
that.
627
00:14:09,896 --> 00:14:11,066
>> Yes, you can, man up, mama.
628
00:14:11,068 --> 00:14:11,828
>> Tasha, you're not gonna do
629
00:14:11,827 --> 00:14:12,207
anything?
630
00:14:12,206 --> 00:14:12,966
>> Mama, you're ain't gonna do
631
00:14:12,965 --> 00:14:13,825
nothing, huh?
632
00:14:13,827 --> 00:14:14,897
'Cause if I do it, it's gonna be
633
00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:15,856
a bottle upside his head, not
634
00:14:15,862 --> 00:14:16,482
that drink.
635
00:14:16,482 --> 00:14:17,762
that drink.
What's up?
636
00:14:17,758 --> 00:14:22,548
What's up?
637
00:14:22,551 --> 00:14:24,311
>> Oh.
638
00:14:24,310 --> 00:14:25,620
>> Mm-hmm.
639
00:14:25,620 --> 00:14:27,310
Yeah, homie, cheers.
640
00:14:27,310 --> 00:14:29,030
Drink's on your, dawg.
641
00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:30,524
Come on, ma, let's go.
642
00:14:30,517 --> 00:14:31,307
Go, ma.
643
00:14:31,310 --> 00:14:32,690
Go, ma.
>> Okay.
644
00:14:32,689 --> 00:14:34,789
>> Okay.
645
00:14:34,793 --> 00:14:36,283
>> Hey, girl.
646
00:14:36,275 --> 00:14:37,065
I've been trying to reach you
647
00:14:37,068 --> 00:14:38,168
for the past half hour.
648
00:14:38,172 --> 00:14:38,832
I thought we were going
649
00:14:38,827 --> 00:14:39,657
shopping.
650
00:14:39,655 --> 00:14:40,655
>> Oh, my gosh, Melanie, I am so
651
00:14:40,655 --> 00:14:41,895
sorry.
652
00:14:41,896 --> 00:14:42,756
Vibrate.
653
00:14:42,758 --> 00:14:43,408
>> Uh.
654
00:14:43,413 --> 00:14:44,173
>> Girl, my bad.
655
00:14:44,172 --> 00:14:44,932
I meant to call you earlier to
656
00:14:44,931 --> 00:14:45,591
cancel.
657
00:14:45,586 --> 00:14:46,856
Totally slipped my mind.
658
00:14:46,862 --> 00:14:47,692
I decided to go shoe shopping
659
00:14:47,689 --> 00:14:48,379
with my friends at the last
660
00:14:48,379 --> 00:14:49,789
with my friends at the last
minute.
661
00:14:49,793 --> 00:14:53,073
minute.
662
00:14:53,068 --> 00:14:55,548
>> I see what this is.
663
00:14:55,551 --> 00:14:56,481
I smooth things over between
664
00:14:56,482 --> 00:14:58,102
Derwin and Noah.
665
00:14:58,103 --> 00:14:58,903
But now that things are cool,
666
00:14:58,896 --> 00:14:59,826
you just wipe your hands clean
667
00:14:59,827 --> 00:15:00,927
and you're done with me.
668
00:15:00,931 --> 00:15:02,141
>> No.
669
00:15:02,137 --> 00:15:02,967
[laughs] Well, let's not act
670
00:15:02,965 --> 00:15:04,965
like you're doing me any favors.
671
00:15:04,965 --> 00:15:05,685
You were cleaning up your own
672
00:15:05,689 --> 00:15:07,139
mess.
673
00:15:07,137 --> 00:15:07,997
>> Ha.
674
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,790
I was doing this for you.
675
00:15:09,793 --> 00:15:10,833
I was trying to fix this because
676
00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:12,097
I wanted you and your man to be
677
00:15:12,103 --> 00:15:13,383
cool with Derwin.
678
00:15:13,379 --> 00:15:14,029
I'm just trying to be your
679
00:15:14,034 --> 00:15:14,764
friend.
680
00:15:14,758 --> 00:15:15,718
>> Let's be honest.
681
00:15:15,724 --> 00:15:16,414
The only reason you're so
682
00:15:16,413 --> 00:15:17,863
preoccupied with me and my man
683
00:15:17,862 --> 00:15:19,002
being cool is that I won't be a
684
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,520
threat to you and your man.
685
00:15:20,517 --> 00:15:22,377
>> [laughing]
686
00:15:22,379 --> 00:15:23,409
Now why would you
687
00:15:23,413 --> 00:15:25,313
be a threat to me and my man?
688
00:15:25,310 --> 00:15:26,590
>> Are you serious?
689
00:15:26,586 --> 00:15:27,476
You know damn well as long as I
690
00:15:27,482 --> 00:15:28,452
have Derwin's baby and you
691
00:15:28,448 --> 00:15:30,308
don't, I will always have one up
692
00:15:30,310 --> 00:15:32,280
on you.
693
00:15:32,275 --> 00:15:34,095
>> I'm not worried about you.
694
00:15:34,103 --> 00:15:35,793
I'm the one who had his heart.
695
00:15:35,793 --> 00:15:36,553
>> And apparently that's all you
696
00:15:36,551 --> 00:15:38,101
>> And apparently that's all you
can have.
697
00:15:38,103 --> 00:15:40,623
can have.
698
00:15:40,620 --> 00:15:41,620
Oh, I'm sorry.
699
00:15:41,620 --> 00:15:42,550
That--that was too far.
700
00:15:42,551 --> 00:15:43,411
>> No, no, you said what you had
701
00:15:43,413 --> 00:15:44,073
to say.
702
00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:44,998
>> No, but I didn't mean--
703
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,310
>> No.
704
00:15:46,310 --> 00:15:48,030
I get it.
705
00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:50,104
I get it.
>> [sighs]
706
00:15:50,103 --> 00:15:52,553
>> [sighs]
707
00:15:52,551 --> 00:15:56,281
>> [knocking at door]
708
00:15:56,275 --> 00:15:56,995
>> See there?
709
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,480
See, this is exactly why I
710
00:15:58,482 --> 00:15:59,342
didn't wanna mess with your
711
00:15:59,344 --> 00:16:01,034
whore ass in the first place.
712
00:16:01,034 --> 00:16:01,724
Coming up in my place of
713
00:16:01,724 --> 00:16:02,664
residence and embarrassing me in
714
00:16:02,655 --> 00:16:03,715
front of my people.
715
00:16:03,724 --> 00:16:04,284
>> Embarrassing you?
716
00:16:04,275 --> 00:16:04,965
>> Yes.
717
00:16:04,965 --> 00:16:05,965
>> Tasha, you just gave me a
718
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,275
Hennessy bath.
719
00:16:07,275 --> 00:16:08,235
I--I can't be near an open flame
720
00:16:08,241 --> 00:16:09,381
for the next hour.
721
00:16:09,379 --> 00:16:10,209
>> Well I should take out my
722
00:16:10,206 --> 00:16:11,476
lighter and puff, puff, pass on
723
00:16:11,482 --> 00:16:13,242
your ass.
724
00:16:13,241 --> 00:16:13,971
>> Tasha, look, I like you,
725
00:16:13,965 --> 00:16:14,585
okay?
726
00:16:14,586 --> 00:16:15,336
I really--
727
00:16:15,344 --> 00:16:16,104
>> You know what, look, please,
728
00:16:16,103 --> 00:16:17,103
I don't wanna hear no sweet
729
00:16:17,103 --> 00:16:17,793
talk, all right?
730
00:16:17,793 --> 00:16:18,553
I don't wanna hear about how
731
00:16:18,551 --> 00:16:19,621
much you like me, how much you
732
00:16:19,620 --> 00:16:21,070
care about me, how different I
733
00:16:21,068 --> 00:16:22,068
am than "the rest of your
734
00:16:22,068 --> 00:16:23,758
tricks."
735
00:16:23,758 --> 00:16:24,408
Look, let's get something
736
00:16:24,413 --> 00:16:25,213
straight, all right?
737
00:16:25,206 --> 00:16:26,616
You the ho, okay?
738
00:16:26,620 --> 00:16:28,070
And I'm the john.
739
00:16:28,068 --> 00:16:28,998
All right, now let's not confuse
740
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,000
things here.
741
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,000
Now the problem is I can't just
742
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,000
have your ho ass just running--
743
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:33,660
>> Can you please not call me a
744
00:16:33,655 --> 00:16:34,475
ho?
745
00:16:34,482 --> 00:16:37,102
I'm somebody's child.
746
00:16:37,103 --> 00:16:38,033
>> I cannot having you running
747
00:16:38,034 --> 00:16:39,104
around, turning tricks and
748
00:16:39,103 --> 00:16:41,103
embarrassing me in my town.
749
00:16:41,103 --> 00:16:43,033
I'm boss.
750
00:16:43,034 --> 00:16:44,284
>> Mm-hmm.
751
00:16:44,275 --> 00:16:44,995
>> Now how 'bout I put you on
752
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,900
retainer for exclusivity for the
753
00:16:46,896 --> 00:16:48,966
entire San Diego area?
754
00:16:48,965 --> 00:16:49,755
And you want some variety,
755
00:16:49,758 --> 00:16:50,518
you're just gonna have to take
756
00:16:50,517 --> 00:16:51,237
your little ass on out to
757
00:16:51,241 --> 00:16:52,591
Carlsbad.
758
00:16:52,586 --> 00:16:53,166
>> Say what?
759
00:16:53,172 --> 00:16:56,282
>> TASHA: Mm-hmm.
760
00:16:56,275 --> 00:16:57,025
>> Are you saying that you
761
00:16:57,034 --> 00:16:58,834
wanna pay me...
762
00:16:58,827 --> 00:17:00,097
to be your full-time lover?
763
00:17:00,103 --> 00:17:00,833
>> No.
764
00:17:00,827 --> 00:17:01,547
I'm paying you to be my
765
00:17:01,551 --> 00:17:06,211
full-time...escort.
766
00:17:06,205 --> 00:17:07,065
Okay, that's what you people
767
00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:08,998
like to be called, right?
768
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:09,690
Okay.
769
00:17:09,689 --> 00:17:12,859
All right, so...take off my
770
00:17:12,862 --> 00:17:14,282
stilettos and commence to
771
00:17:14,275 --> 00:17:15,335
tickling my heels, 'cause your
772
00:17:15,344 --> 00:17:19,524
services start right now, Negro.
773
00:17:19,517 --> 00:17:20,857
>> [humming]
774
00:17:20,862 --> 00:17:21,932
Hey, you.
775
00:17:21,931 --> 00:17:22,691
>> Hey.
776
00:17:22,689 --> 00:17:23,519
Where are you going?
777
00:17:23,517 --> 00:17:24,337
>> Oh, me and Noah's ark is
778
00:17:24,344 --> 00:17:26,004
gonna grab a biz-ite.
779
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:26,830
>> Noah's ark?
780
00:17:26,827 --> 00:17:27,587
>> Yeah, it's like the nickname
781
00:17:27,586 --> 00:17:28,546
I give Noah.
782
00:17:28,550 --> 00:17:29,340
And, boo, you was right.
783
00:17:29,344 --> 00:17:31,414
That cat is hella cool.
784
00:17:31,413 --> 00:17:32,143
You want me to bring you
785
00:17:32,137 --> 00:17:32,997
something back?
786
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,720
>> Of course, after one dinner,
787
00:17:34,724 --> 00:17:37,004
and now you two are besties.
788
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:38,000
[sighs]
789
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,380
[sighs]
Whatever.
790
00:17:39,379 --> 00:17:41,239
Whatever.
791
00:17:41,241 --> 00:17:42,241
>> Okay.
792
00:17:42,241 --> 00:17:44,071
I gotta be honest.
793
00:17:44,068 --> 00:17:44,828
I'm not feeling like you meant
794
00:17:44,827 --> 00:17:45,757
that.
795
00:17:45,758 --> 00:17:46,448
Something happened on the
796
00:17:46,448 --> 00:17:47,278
shopping trip with you and
797
00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:48,685
Janay?
798
00:17:48,689 --> 00:17:50,239
Hey, [unintelligible], something
799
00:17:50,241 --> 00:17:51,381
happened on the shopping trip
800
00:17:51,379 --> 00:17:53,029
with you and Janay.
801
00:17:53,034 --> 00:17:53,764
Did something happen on the
802
00:17:53,758 --> 00:17:54,408
shopping trip with you and
803
00:17:54,413 --> 00:17:57,413
Janay?
804
00:17:57,413 --> 00:18:00,283
>> Derwin...I don't have any
805
00:18:00,275 --> 00:18:02,335
friends.
806
00:18:02,344 --> 00:18:04,664
I mean, am I such a horrible
807
00:18:04,655 --> 00:18:05,545
person that no one wants to be
808
00:18:05,551 --> 00:18:07,071
my friend?
809
00:18:07,068 --> 00:18:08,278
>> Hey, no.
810
00:18:08,275 --> 00:18:10,755
Hey, stop that.
811
00:18:10,758 --> 00:18:11,858
Come on, cheer up, Charlie.
812
00:18:11,862 --> 00:18:12,552
You're just going through a
813
00:18:12,551 --> 00:18:13,171
rough patch.
814
00:18:13,172 --> 00:18:16,102
Everybody goes through 'em, boo.
815
00:18:16,103 --> 00:18:17,933
>> I'm sorry.
816
00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:20,521
I don't wanna ruin your evening.
817
00:18:20,517 --> 00:18:21,277
I'm getting tear stains all over
818
00:18:21,275 --> 00:18:22,785
your blouse.
819
00:18:22,793 --> 00:18:23,593
>> [laughs]
820
00:18:23,586 --> 00:18:25,276
>> Why don't you and, um, Noah's
821
00:18:25,275 --> 00:18:26,995
ark enjoy--
822
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,310
>> No, stop that.
823
00:18:28,310 --> 00:18:29,620
Stop that.
824
00:18:29,620 --> 00:18:30,900
Stop that.
Hold on a second.
825
00:18:30,896 --> 00:18:34,896
Hold on a second.
826
00:18:34,896 --> 00:18:36,206
Hey, Noah, what's up, man?
827
00:18:36,206 --> 00:18:37,516
It's Derwin.
828
00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:40,277
I gotta take a bullet tonight.
829
00:18:40,275 --> 00:18:41,855
Yeah, it's all good.
830
00:18:41,862 --> 00:18:43,032
It's all good.
831
00:18:43,034 --> 00:18:44,214
All right, man, I get with you.
832
00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:46,656
Peace.
833
00:18:46,655 --> 00:18:47,335
Boo, it doesn't even matter.
834
00:18:47,344 --> 00:18:48,284
I wasn't really in the Noah kind
835
00:18:48,275 --> 00:18:50,445
of mood anyway.
836
00:18:50,448 --> 00:18:51,278
You know, why don't you go
837
00:18:51,275 --> 00:18:52,025
upstairs and get your
838
00:18:52,034 --> 00:18:53,034
toothbrush.
839
00:18:53,034 --> 00:18:53,974
>> Toothbrush?
840
00:18:53,965 --> 00:18:54,545
>> Yeah.
841
00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:56,071
'Cause I wanna take my bestie to
842
00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:57,448
Vegas tonight.
843
00:18:57,448 --> 00:18:57,998
>> What?
844
00:18:58,000 --> 00:18:58,620
>> Yes!
845
00:18:58,620 --> 00:18:59,860
Go get your toothbrush.
846
00:18:59,862 --> 00:19:01,102
We going to Vegas.
847
00:19:01,103 --> 00:19:01,763
>> Okay.
848
00:19:01,758 --> 00:19:02,758
>> No, no, just get the purse,
849
00:19:02,758 --> 00:19:03,478
forget your toothbrush.
850
00:19:03,482 --> 00:19:04,862
forget your toothbrush.
We going dirty.
851
00:19:04,862 --> 00:19:14,622
We going dirty.
852
00:19:14,620 --> 00:19:20,410
We going dirty.
>> ♪
853
00:19:20,460 --> 00:19:25,010
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