Original subtitles

[music playing in background]

>> I can't believe you shutting

this down, man.

>> Yup.

My rehab counselor said life

is like a tree.

Some people and some things are

your leaves.

Some are your branches and some

are your roots.

He said, "Hey, Malik, if you're

ever gonna get better, you gotta

get rid of everything except

your roots."

your roots." Tee Tee, you my roots, man.

Tee Tee, you my roots, man.

Dog, are you crying?

>> Hell, yeah.

Good God, man,

you have in-house T&A.

Why are you doing this to me?

>> Tee Tee, I'm shutting down

the strip club, man,

'cause I found her.

Jenna is my Jada.

>> Hey, do not just throw Will

and Jada's love around to prove

a point, man.

I mean, that's disrespectful.

>> Tee Tee, I wouldn't do that.

But we've been living

like pigs, dog.

>> I disagree.

>> Hey.

>> I want my change this time.

>> Tee Tee, Parker is killing

me, man.

She's messing up my

concentration on the field.

She's messing up my relationship

She's messing up my relationship with Jenna.

with Jenna.

>> Okay, do this.

Next time you're with her,

right, just record her talking

reckless.

And then you can blackmail her

into not blackmailing you.

>> Hmm... ha!

The old reverse okie-doke

Willie Lump-Lump move, baby.

Simple, yet effective.

Ugh!

That might just work, Tee Tee.

>> Yeah, well,

hopefully, it does.

Lasagna, Lasagna.

I'll never forget you.

You got a whole lot of layers

and a little bit of cheese.

and a little bit of cheese. ♪♪

♪♪

>> and drive my...

>> Oh, what's up, Miss Mack?

>> Hey.

>> Okay, so I see you trying to

get your workout on for your

boy toy, huh?

>> Um-hmm, trying to get it

right, gotta keep it tight.

>> Hmm.

>> I'm starving, though.

Give me them wings.

Extra parmesan, right?

>> Um-hmm.

Hey, you know, your lies are

almost as good as those wings,

right?

>> What the hell are you

talking about, Tee Tee?

>> Oh, nothing.

I just bumped into Dante the

other day at the truck.

See, he stopped by to get some

wings before he went to Miami,

and apparently y'all been broken

up for a minute now.

>> If you knew I was lying,

why didn't you just say so?

You didn't tell Malik, did you?

>> Nah, come on, Miss Mack,

relax, look.

If it's one thing a good wing

man knows, it's discretion.

>> Okay, I don't know what

discretion gotta do with these

wings, but I know you better

keep your damn mouth shut, hear?

>> All right, cool.

But you know you're gonna have

to tell somebody eventually,

right?

>> I ain't gotta nobody nothing,

okay, 'cause I already

got it figured out.

All I gotta do is get with one

of the men on this list,

and pssh, people gonna be like,

Dante what, Dante who?

>> All right, I'll bite.

Let me see.

[sighing]

Reggie Bush?

>> Mmm.

>> Taye Diggs?

>> Mmm.

>> Michael Jordan.

>> 23, um-hmm.

>> All right, tell you what.

You should put Barack Obama

on this list.

>> Ooh.

>> And then mail it off to

Santa Claus.

>> You know what, kiss my ass,

Billy Goat Gruff.

>> Hey, guys.

>> Hey.

>> Hello, Melanie.

You look well.

It seems that marriage is

agreeing with you.

>> Ugh, oh, come on, Tee Tee,

enough is enough.

I've been married for two years,

and you can't still have that

silly crush on me, okay?

>> Actually, yeah, I can,

but I don't, 'cause I got a new

girlfriend, all right?

And I decided long ago never to

walk in anyone's shadow.

>> Okay, okay, thanks.

Uh, Tasha, I brought some

publicity photos of Derwin for

you to look at.

>> Mmm, all right, I'ma take

care of it tonight.

>> So... a little birdie told

me Dante's 25th birthday

is coming up.

Spill, what do you have planned?

>> Oh, nothing.

We probably just gonna be here,

something real low-key

at the house.

>> What?

Miss Mack, come on.

25, that's huge in a young

boy's life.

I mean, you gotta do it big.

You gotta do it huge.

>> You know what, I told you,

don't worry about it, okay,

I got this.

>> Tasha, honestly, babe.

You're gonna lose Dante if

you're not careful.

And what a monstrous,

catastrophic, tsunami-level

tragedy that'll be.

>> Yeah, you better listen to

your girl, Miss Mack, otherwise

George Clooney might throw you

a telethon.

>> You've always been the one to

give me advice so I'm gonna give

you some.

So many women think that

when they get the man,

their work is done.

But that's when the real work

has to begin.

>> Mmm, church!

>> So I'm gonna help you

plan the biggest party Dante

and San Diego has ever seen.

>> No, Melanie, I ain't trying

to have no party!

>> No, no, no, no.

And not only is he gonna love

the party, he's gonna love you

for doing it.

Yay for Dante's birthday party.

[Melanie squealing]

>> Put me down plus two.

>> Put me down plus two. >> [mouthing]

>> [mouthing]

>> Whoa.

Parker, how the hell did you

get in my car?

>> Well, your top was down

and your door was open.

Not unlocked, but your door was

actually open.

>> All right, cool,

so what's up?

>> What's up is, um...

I've been missing this good

leather loving.

>> I'm gonna take a wild guess,

that ain't your dog's name.

>> You see, we had a deal.

And you didn't keep up your end.

I would hate if I was to

accidentally let it slip to your

girlfriend or my husband...

about us.

>> Hey, look, Parker, it's cool,

baby, a'ight, let's go, come on.

Get in, you drive me, come on.

>> Okay.

>> Yeah.

Oh, shoot, you know what?

I left my playbook in my locker.

I'm gonna run and go get it.

I'll be back, a'ight?

>> But--

>> No, no, baby, give me

two seconds.

I'll be back, I'm gonna tear

that ass that up.

[engine revving]

[engine revving] [vehicle approaching]

[vehicle approaching]

>> Yo, my man.

I need a ride real bad.

Yo...

If I get in this van, you're

gonna kill me, aren't you?

>> My arms hurt from fighting

with a hot dog vendor earlier.

with a hot dog vendor earlier. >> Oh, what the hell.

>> Oh, what the hell.

>> [laughing]

That's hot.

>> Tasha, do you know where

Dante is?

I wanna give him a gift.

>> Derwin, look, the invitation

specifically said no gifts,

baby.

>> Yeah, but I'm not that dude.

This right here special, and I

can't wait to see his face when

he opens it.

You wanna know what it is?

>> Stupid ass violin?

>> Even better.

>> Ooh.

>> Oh, yeah, but, but, I'm gonna

wait and let it be a surprise

for everyone.

>> Okay.

>> Where is he?

>> I don't know, keep looking

around here somewhere.

Go and get your look on.

>> Okay.

>> Thank you for coming, baby.

>> Um-hmm, he gonna love this.

>> Okay. Uh-oh!

You having a good time?

All right.

What?

>> Miss Mack.

>> What?

>> Come on, now, this is insane.

I mean, you gotta stop this.

It's officially gone too far.

>> Ah, see that's what you don't

understand, Leroy Jenkins,

it's never too far for me.

Now, I'll ride y'all out.

I'll ride it out till the rubber

come off the tires and I just

roll on them lying-ass rims.

I'll roll. Ha!

>> You are marvelously ignorant.

>> Mm-hmm.

>> That is not a compliment.

>> You got about 12 Malik Wright

apps.

>> Babes, you're in my seat.

>> No, baby, your seat's

right here, sit down.

>> Ooh, okay.

>> Hey, hey, get a room.

>> Oh.

>> Yo, I want that table.

>> Hey, I didn't know you were

gonna be here.

>> Hey, Malik.

>> Hey, hey.

You know my girlfriend, Jenna,

don't you?

>> Roger Keith.

>> Nice to meet you.

>> Oh, yeah, of course.

I think I saw you the other day

at the game.

>> Yeah, but Malik, I know I saw

you and I tried to say hello,

but you just ran off.

>> Oh, yeah, I mean, you know,

I-- that's...

Ooh, they got shrimp, baby.

>> Nice meeting you.

>> I guess they like shrimp.

>> I guess so.

>> See, you black and she white,

so that work, you know.

I'm light-skinned, Dante

dark-skinned so it's opposite...

>> Tasha, where have you been

all night?

If I didn't know any better,

I'd think you would have been

avoiding me.

>> Well, it's a good thing you

know better, okay?

>> The photographer wants to

take some photos of you guys.

>> Girl, we just finished taking

pictures outside, okay?

But I guess you could never have

enough pictures to really prove

you were there, huh?

>> What?

>> Huh?

>> Hey, what's up, boo-boo?

Okay, yo, listen, guys.

Like, Tash, I've looked all over

this place for the man.

I can't find him nowhere.

You sure he's here?

>> What you mean,

am I sure he's here?

It's his party, ain't it?

Okay, what, you think I'm gonna

throw a party for somebody who

ain't even here, like I'm some

crazy person?

[laughing]

Ooh, shrimp.

>> I don't know what to say,

I mean...

I mean... >> Me neither.

>> Me neither.

>> You just can't sit your ass

down, can you?

>> What?

>> You're walking around here

so that everybody can see that

spandex dress all the way up

to your hoo-ha?

>> I bought this dress because

you saw it on another woman and

said how much you liked it.

>> On her.

Why would I want my wife looking

like a two-dollar hooker.

And if I remember correctly,

you cost just a little bit more

you cost just a little bit more than that.

than that.

>> Ooh, ooh, Melanie!

Girl, Dante gonna have to

leave like right now.

>> What, why?

>> I don't know.

He-- He had that shrimp.

>> Wh-wh-wh, okay,

what's wrong with the shrimp?

>> I don't know, but you need to

talk to that shrimp guy.

>> Just-- regroup, Melanie,

regroup, um...

I'll just bring out the cake.

>> No, you ain't gonna bring out

no cake.

>> Tasha, there's no shrimp

in the cake.

Cake!

Jorge, I need the cake now!

>> Miss Mack, what are you

doing?

Look, you are like one of these

nuts on TV, right, who runs away

from the police till they run

out of gas.

And where do they think they're

going, they're caught.

>> I've gotten away from two of

them chases.

>> All right, you know what,

fine, I'm done.

No more words from me, but I'ma

tell you this much, I'm

definitely gonna record this

'cause a fall this epic

has got to be captured.

>> Okay, everyone, it's...

Sorry, hi!

It's time for Dante to cut

his cake.

Um, why don't you come up here,

Dante!

Dante?

>> Dante?!

You know he trying to make

a grand entrance, okay?

[laughing]

>> Where are you?

Come on, now, don't be shy!

>> Dante!

>> Dante! [clearing throat]

[clearing throat]

All right, look.

I just wanted everybody--

>> It's my birthday!

Yay!

Now when I say happy,

y'all say birthday.

Happy.

>> Birthday!

>> Happy.

>> Birthday!

>> Yay!

[all cheering and applause]

>> Happy birthday!

>> It is my 25th birthday.

I don't wanna feel my face

tomorrow morning, so let's get

our party on tonight.

[all cheering]

>> Hey, my man.

You had me at happy birthday.

But I got you.

Hey, opening the birthday gifts

over here, y'all!

over here, y'all! >> Thank you.

>> Thank you.

Never surrender.

>> Man, whatever!

>> All right!

Come on, y'all, we 'bout to cut

the cake!

>> Stop ignoring me.

>> Oh, I'm sorry, baby.

[exhaling]

>> Who's more important

than cake?

>> No, nobody, look, that was

just one of my homeboys from

back home.

He wanted me to send him some,

um, some cake, yeah.

He in jail.

>> Oh, so now they let people

text in jail.

>> What? Look, baby, his kids is

visiting, okay?

I should send them

some cake too.

I'm gonna go send 'em some cake,

I'll be right back, okay?

I'll be back, babe.

I'll be back, babe. I'll be back.

I'll be back.

>> Thank y'all for coming.

>> Thank y'all for coming. [sighing]

[sighing]

>> So what's your problem,

Dante?

>> Excuse me?

>> Okay, you wait until the

candles are all the way down to

the nub, right, before you make

your little entrance.

And I got my dress all tucked in

my panties, I got my ass all out

for people to see.

for people to see. >> You're welcome, Tasha.

>> You're welcome, Tasha.

>> Thanks for not making me look

>> Thanks for not making me look like Suzy Sausage Head.

like Suzy Sausage Head.

I don't even know why

I'm crying.

>> Don't cry.

You know I hate to see you--

You know, I've never seen

you cry.

>> I ain't crying, crying.

All right, it's just like my

eyes are sweating.

Why'd you do it?

Why you come back and save me?

>> 'Cause you're worth being

saved.

And hopefully, one day you'll

understand your own worth so you

can get on living your life...

And stop passing up the most

beautiful black brothers,

you know?

Well, it is still my birthday.

Before I leave, how about one

last birthday dance?

>> Ooh, unh-unh, my feet hurt.

I've been on 'em all day, I'm...

Okay, I guess this is one of

those moments I shouldn't

pass up.

>> Yes, it is.

>> All right.

>> ♪ Now we've grown

♪ So far apart

♪ Life in a space

♪ Between our hearts

♪ Can we take it back

♪ To the way it was...

♪ To the way it was... [music continues distantly]

[music continues distantly]

>> You in here?

>> See, now, that's a good boy.

I'm glad I didn't have

to make a scene.

>> Oh, whoa!

Parker Keith.

Team owner's wife.

What's your address so I can

send you something nice?

>> Oh, that's sweet.

1515 Sequoia.

>> Parker Keith.

>> Uh-huh?

>> Team owner's wife who lives

at 1515 Sequoia... mwah!

I'm gonna send you something

nice 'cause at one point in

time, we had a mutual affair

and now it's more like

a one-sided coerced affair.

>> Hmm, yeah.

>> Whoa.

>> [clearing throat]

Hmm.

Nice try.

Now, let's get this started.

>> Look, Parker--

>> What?

>> I can't do this anymore.

>> Well, that's too bad because

you really don't have a choice.

>> Look, I heard the way your

husband was talking to you

out there.

And as messed up as you've been

to me, you deserve better than

that.

Yo, your issues aren't with me,

they're with him.

>> Oh, so now you know what my

issues are?

>> Look, you are so

unappreciated, Parker, that you

don't even realize what you're

doing to take away the pain.

>> Wow.

That's an astute assessment for

someone who didn't know about

the Gulf oil spill or

that President Obama's first

name isn't Obama.

>> Hmm, okay, see, look at you.

Just using jokes to divert

from the truth.

Parker, it's not funny.

I used to do the same damn thing

when I was in rehab.

Only difference is, you're using

my Johnson instead of jokes,

Parker.

You deserve better than this.

Yo, just... be honest with

everybody around you.

And most importantly, Parker,

And most importantly, Parker, just be honest with yourself.

just be honest with yourself.

>> Well, I don't really know

what to say, so...

I'm embarrassed.

>> Look, come here.

Don't be embarrassed.

Just do me a favor and promise

me that you gonna look deep

within yourself and you're

gonna be honest.

>> You're right.

>> You're right. Promise.

Promise.

Thank you.

[keys clinking]

[footsteps fading]

[footsteps fading] [door opening and closing]

[door opening and closing]

>> Jenna.

>> Malik?

>> Uh, Jenna, I--

>> So was this your plan?

Try to ambush me in the bathroom

for some quick party sex, hm?

>> Yeah, yeah, yes.

>> Yes, I love when you're bad.

>> Yo, baby.

You know, you're the best thing

that's ever happened to me,

right?

>> Wow, your life must be a lot

crappier than it looks.

>> Okay, no, look, wait, no.

I'm serious.

Baby, I love you.

Hell, I'm in love with you.

Hell, I'm in love with you. >> Come here.

>> Come here.

>> And I changed my mind.

[both chuckling]

Not here.

The love of my life deserves

better, let's go.

better, let's go. >> Okay.

>> Okay.

>> To Mel.

When Dante asks to marry him,

I don't have to be your

maid of honor, okay?

But I at least have to be--

Oh, bump that.

I'm your maid of honor.

>> Girl, put your glass down.

Dante broke up with me.

Really?

>> It was the sushi.

I knew it.

Never trust sushi on a Sunday.

I am so sorry.

>> Girl, will you calm down?

This ain't got nothing to do

with no damn sushi.

>> Oh, my God.

Was it your age?

>> Okay, you know what, uh-uh.

Stop talking, okay?

It happened weeks ago.

>> What?

How come you didn't tell me

anything?

>> Well, because Dr. Melanie,

right now you're living your

perfect little life, okay?

I didn't feel like having you

judge me.

>> Well, yes, Tasha, of course

I would've judged you.

That's what I do.

But you're still my girl.

And as far as my life being

perfect goes, when we leave

here, me and Derwin have to pick

up DJ from the Arby's

parking lot.

[laughing]

>> Damn!

>> Yeah.

>> You know what it is,

I guess I'm just not used to

opening up myself to you.

You know, I always dump all my

drama on Kelly.

>> Well, Kelly's not here like

that anymore.

So we have to be there for each

other, okay?

>> Okay.

>> So just out of curiosity,

how would have Kelly made you

feel better?

>> She would have took me to the

bar and got me drunk.

>> So guess what we're doing

tomorrow?

>> Hey!

[laughing]

>> ♪ She sparkles

♪ And she gleams

♪ More or less a fantasy

♪ I've been sweating

♪ For too long

♪ Just let it flow downstream

>> Disgusting, decrepit,

impotent bastard!

I've allowed you to lower my

self-esteem.

God, because of you, because of

you, I've done things

I'm ashamed of.

Yeah, I allowed myself to

lower my standards and sleep

with a low-life like that.

You know what? I'm done.

I'm done being your punching

bag.

You can keep your money

and your credit card.

and your credit card. I'm through.

I'm through.

>> All right--

>> Yo, dog.

Back it up--

[gunshots]

[woman shrieking]

>> Malik, you good?

>> Yeah, yeah, I'm good.

>> You're in for a world of

hurt, Wright.

A world of hurt!

Open the door.

Come on, open the door!

>> Where's Jenna?

>> Where's Jenna? >> Come here, dog.

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