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1
00:00:01,468 --> 00:00:04,108
KELLY:
* Landlord's knocking at my door... *
2
00:00:04,138 --> 00:00:07,138
(Kelly humming tune,
vacuum cleaner whirring)
3
00:00:11,412 --> 00:00:14,182
* I'm gonna fix tomorrow, too
4
00:00:14,215 --> 00:00:16,615
* Yes, today's still a mess
5
00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:19,450
* Can you tell me,
what's the point now? *
6
00:00:19,487 --> 00:00:22,257
* It all seems
meaningless *
7
00:00:22,290 --> 00:00:23,660
(humming)
8
00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:26,491
* And breathe
9
00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:28,457
* Swallow me
10
00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:29,456
(humming)
11
00:00:29,497 --> 00:00:31,297
* Hey, hey...
12
00:00:33,434 --> 00:00:34,574
Hi, Kelly!
13
00:00:34,602 --> 00:00:36,842
(laughing)
Oh, my God!
14
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:38,710
(laughing):
Oh, that was not funny!
15
00:00:38,739 --> 00:00:41,409
Oh, I'd have to disagree
and say that it was.
16
00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:43,212
Yeah, you exploded
like a zit!
17
00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:44,484
Ehh!
Nice work, champion.
18
00:00:44,512 --> 00:00:46,812
I will see you
at the game on Saturday?
19
00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:50,177
Yeah? I want you to bring
the heat, okay?
20
00:00:50,218 --> 00:00:51,788
Booty bump.
21
00:00:51,819 --> 00:00:53,489
Love you.
22
00:00:56,124 --> 00:00:57,464
(sighs):
Ah. How was your weekend?
23
00:00:57,491 --> 00:00:58,691
It was cool.
It was good.
24
00:01:01,129 --> 00:01:02,729
Listen, uh, about
Saturday's game,
25
00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:04,773
I wanted to run
something by you.
26
00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:08,470
I'm... I'm thinking
it's time that, uh,
27
00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:10,172
Brittany met Camille.
28
00:01:11,205 --> 00:01:12,335
Why?
29
00:01:12,373 --> 00:01:13,643
Is she dying?
30
00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:15,584
Come on, Kelly,
I'm trying to be respectful
31
00:01:15,609 --> 00:01:16,779
of your feelings here.
32
00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:18,380
I appreciate that, Jason.
33
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:20,252
I'm just surprised
you'd want your daughter
34
00:01:20,281 --> 00:01:22,381
to meet some woman
you're casually dating.
35
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:25,086
Well, it's not
really that casual.
36
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:27,790
Oh.
37
00:01:29,457 --> 00:01:30,887
(laughs):
Oh, well, I'm just surprised
38
00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,894
you'd want your daughter
to meet some woman
39
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:34,496
that you're not casually dating
40
00:01:34,528 --> 00:01:36,828
before you even told her
that you're dating someone
41
00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:38,534
on the basis that's not casual.
42
00:01:38,566 --> 00:01:39,866
Weird.
43
00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:41,700
Come on, Kel,
I'm not gonna bring Bri
44
00:01:41,735 --> 00:01:42,795
around some random chick.
45
00:01:44,272 --> 00:01:45,642
I mean, not on purpose.
46
00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:47,513
I just figure
47
00:01:47,541 --> 00:01:49,341
at the soccer game it'll
be less formal, you know?
48
00:01:49,377 --> 00:01:50,407
But if you're not
comfortable with it,
49
00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:51,884
it's cool,
we don't have to do it.
50
00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:55,182
(laughs) I'm completely
comfortable with it.
51
00:01:55,216 --> 00:01:57,486
Of course!
Of course you should invite her.
52
00:01:57,518 --> 00:01:58,548
Okay.
53
00:01:58,586 --> 00:01:59,686
Hey, bring all your chicks.
54
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:00,890
All my chicks.
55
00:02:00,921 --> 00:02:02,491
There's just the one.
56
00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:03,623
We'll see you there.
57
00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:04,827
I can't wait.
58
00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:06,528
Okay.
59
00:02:30,618 --> 00:02:32,248
Mmm...
60
00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:33,916
That's easy.
(laughs)
61
00:02:33,954 --> 00:02:36,464
Strawberry.
Okay.
62
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:39,960
Want something
a little harder? Mm-hmm.
63
00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:41,603
(laughs)
64
00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:43,629
Put your tongue out.
65
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,240
Mmm...
66
00:02:49,537 --> 00:02:51,467
Honey.
67
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:52,865
Damn, you're good.
68
00:02:52,906 --> 00:02:55,376
I am good.
(laughs)
69
00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:57,279
All right.
70
00:02:57,311 --> 00:02:59,251
Open wide.
71
00:03:00,281 --> 00:03:02,421
(spits)
Complex carbs!
72
00:03:02,450 --> 00:03:03,680
That's my girl!
73
00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:05,887
You're probably gonna
wanna do a couple crunches
74
00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:08,659
to work off that honey.
Oh, yeah, mm-hmm.
75
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:11,589
Okay, no! We gotta put
things away before Brittany gets home.
76
00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:14,355
And you, mister, have
got to get out of here.
77
00:03:14,395 --> 00:03:16,455
Why can't I just hang
out and meet her?
78
00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:17,997
What's the big deal?
79
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:20,571
God, why does everyone
want to meet Brittany all of a sudden?
80
00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:22,541
She's really not
that interesting.
81
00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:25,470
Well, we've been together
longer than Jason and that reporter chick.
82
00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:26,566
Okay, well, you know what?
83
00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:28,507
Jason can do
what he wants,
84
00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:30,912
but I'm not the kind of
parent that's gonna bring
85
00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:33,984
some random, fly-by-night guy
I'm doing around my kid.
86
00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:36,254
What about me?
87
00:03:36,284 --> 00:03:38,524
(shrieks)
Come on!
88
00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:41,492
Roman, look, I promise you
I will introduce you to her
89
00:03:41,522 --> 00:03:42,662
when the time is right.
90
00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:43,560
(whispers):
Promise?
91
00:03:43,591 --> 00:03:45,361
Yeah.
Okay.
92
00:03:45,393 --> 00:03:47,333
Now, let's get
cleaned up. No...
93
00:03:47,361 --> 00:03:49,661
I gotta get this
whipped cream out of me
94
00:03:49,697 --> 00:03:51,697
before it turns to butter.
95
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,343
Will you hurry
up, Med School?
96
00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:56,568
'Cause if I don't come home
with some Loubous,
97
00:03:56,604 --> 00:03:58,344
you coming home with
some boo-boos.
98
00:03:58,372 --> 00:03:59,542
Look, I promise,
99
00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,283
I'm only gonna try
on this one dress
100
00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:03,509
and then it can be
all about you, as usual.
101
00:04:03,544 --> 00:04:05,514
That's right,
it's The Tasha Mack Show.
102
00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:07,576
All Tasha, all the time.
103
00:04:07,615 --> 00:04:09,515
You just the guest star.
104
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:10,950
(chuckles)
105
00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:12,324
Well...
106
00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:14,323
what do you think?
107
00:04:14,355 --> 00:04:15,655
(squealing)
108
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:18,759
(both squealing)
109
00:04:18,791 --> 00:04:20,691
Girl, you look beautiful.
110
00:04:20,728 --> 00:04:22,928
Now, you sure you need
to be wearing white?
111
00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:25,573
'Cause, I mean, the way you
been bed-hopping all year,
112
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,569
I think you should go
with a off-white.
113
00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:28,941
Or penicillin blue.
114
00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:32,309
So, uh, what color did you
wear to your wedding?
115
00:04:32,340 --> 00:04:34,340
Oh, wait, you never had one.
116
00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:36,875
Oh, okay, nice move,
Grasshopper.
117
00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:37,810
(both laughing)
118
00:04:37,845 --> 00:04:40,575
Let me tell you, you are
barely going to need
119
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,524
any alterations on this.
120
00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:43,650
That does not happen.
121
00:04:43,684 --> 00:04:45,724
Oh, no, no, no, no,
I'm not buying.
122
00:04:45,753 --> 00:04:46,523
Well, I mean, not today.
123
00:04:46,554 --> 00:04:49,424
This is just
kind of a trial run.
124
00:04:49,457 --> 00:04:52,387
You know, I've worked
bridal for six years,
125
00:04:52,426 --> 00:04:54,896
and for every one bride,
there is one dress,
126
00:04:54,928 --> 00:04:57,368
and that is your dress.
127
00:04:57,398 --> 00:04:58,698
Oh, God,
128
00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:00,402
it is perfect.
129
00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:03,644
But, I mean, I can't buy
the first dress I try on, right?
130
00:05:03,671 --> 00:05:06,611
I mean, plus the wedding, it
isn't until next spring, and...
131
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:07,940
I've always imagined this moment
132
00:05:07,975 --> 00:05:10,375
in some fancy
bridal salon in New York
133
00:05:10,411 --> 00:05:12,811
sipping champagne with my mom.
134
00:05:12,846 --> 00:05:13,876
Oh, she's
not your mom?
135
00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:17,894
Bitch! Do I look like I'm
old enough to be her mama?
136
00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:19,988
Look...
(chuckles)
137
00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:22,990
whatever your familial
relationship is,
138
00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:24,863
at this price,
139
00:05:24,892 --> 00:05:29,432
this dress will be gone
by the end of the weekend.
140
00:05:29,463 --> 00:05:31,633
(exhales)
141
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,565
All right,
Med School, look,
142
00:05:33,601 --> 00:05:35,541
maybe the little pushy
salesgirl's right.
143
00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:38,009
I mean, what if
this is your dress?
144
00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:39,768
I'm gonna
buy it for you.
145
00:05:39,807 --> 00:05:41,037
What?
Yeah!
146
00:05:41,074 --> 00:05:42,614
How much is it?
147
00:05:42,643 --> 00:05:44,753
Well, it is on sale
for $15,000.
148
00:05:44,778 --> 00:05:46,608
Ooh, okay, you know,
on second thought,
149
00:05:46,647 --> 00:05:49,517
why don't you just let your
real mama get it for you?
150
00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:51,720
All right? 'Cause this one
don't like you that much.
151
00:05:51,752 --> 00:05:54,562
So, go on,
take it off.
152
00:05:54,588 --> 00:05:55,758
All right,
scoot, scoot.
153
00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:58,759
Remember,
Tasha Mack Show.
154
00:05:58,792 --> 00:06:00,992
I can recast!
155
00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:03,102
Go, Busy Bees!
156
00:06:03,130 --> 00:06:04,500
Come on!
157
00:06:04,532 --> 00:06:05,672
Go, Brittany!
158
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,169
Get the ball!
Run! Come on!
159
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,570
Okay, okay. Okay,
you got the ball!
160
00:06:09,603 --> 00:06:10,743
Now, pass it!
161
00:06:10,771 --> 00:06:11,671
Wait, no,
162
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:12,905
not to the
other team.
163
00:06:12,940 --> 00:06:15,540
All right, good effort,
good effort.
164
00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:16,676
I think they're really
getting better.
165
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:18,180
Are we watching the same game?
166
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:20,811
Jason, you're supposed
to be supportive.
167
00:06:20,848 --> 00:06:23,048
Maybe you're too busy
entertaining your guest.
168
00:06:23,083 --> 00:06:25,723
Okay.
169
00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:27,023
I thought you were
cool with this.
170
00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:28,564
And I am.
171
00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:30,689
Kelly, you know, even though
we only got to talk
172
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,494
for just a minute
before the game,
173
00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:34,026
Brittany seems like
a very lovely girl.
174
00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:35,061
She's not that great.
175
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:37,195
Right.
176
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,170
BRITTANY:
Hey, did you see I almost scored a goal?
177
00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:41,069
Oh, my God, I saw!
Yeah, yeah!
178
00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:43,741
Wow!
Way to hustle, Brit Brat, Brit Brat.
179
00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:46,141
You do understand this
is an all-or-nothing type of situation, okay?
180
00:06:46,173 --> 00:06:48,143
So an almost-goal means
you get nothing, okay?
181
00:06:48,175 --> 00:06:49,975
Well, you get
an "A" for effort.
182
00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:52,080
And you get an
A-plus from Mommy!
183
00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:53,712
Which, sadly,
still puts zero on the scoreboard.
184
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,517
Let's not encourage failure.
185
00:06:55,549 --> 00:06:57,449
But the other team
has zero, too.
186
00:06:57,485 --> 00:06:59,745
Oh, okay, so we're okay
being a bunch of zeroes
187
00:06:59,787 --> 00:07:00,787
running around out there?
188
00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:01,921
Focus, Pitts, come on.
189
00:07:01,955 --> 00:07:03,615
CAMILLE:
You know, Brittany,
190
00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:06,157
I've interviewed David Beckham
a few times on my show.
191
00:07:06,193 --> 00:07:08,033
Oh, well, his wife
works out at my gym.
192
00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:09,101
I've seen her naked.
193
00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:10,799
Wow. you
were saying,
194
00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:11,671
Camille?
195
00:07:11,699 --> 00:07:13,599
Just that Becks told me
when he's facing
196
00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:16,544
a really tough opponent,
he focuses on looking
197
00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:18,470
for a weakness in
the other team's defense.
198
00:07:18,506 --> 00:07:20,106
Yes!
Or he fakes an injury
199
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:22,680
so he doesn't
have to play. That's what he does!
200
00:07:22,710 --> 00:07:25,110
Oh, yeah? Well, uh,
Victoria told me it makes her uncomfortable
201
00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:27,005
when people stare
at her in the shower.
202
00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:29,477
(whistle blows)
203
00:07:29,517 --> 00:07:30,717
Okay, get back
out there! Let's go!
204
00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:32,251
Kick some
Lady Bug butt! Let's go!
205
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:33,245
Whoo!
206
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,656
(laughs)
207
00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:37,019
Okay.
208
00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:38,257
I think you need
209
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,731
to chill out just
a little bit.
210
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:40,760
KELLY: What?
I'm chillin'.
211
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:41,964
I'm so chill, I'm icy.
212
00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:42,955
You cut
Camille off,
213
00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:44,796
like, five times.
214
00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:46,572
She has a talk show;
she's used to it.
215
00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:47,840
Hey,
216
00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:48,838
Kel-Bop.
217
00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:51,809
So, what's the score?
218
00:07:58,546 --> 00:07:59,976
(sighs):
Ah...
219
00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:01,883
Hey.
220
00:08:04,952 --> 00:08:06,752
(clears throat softly)
221
00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:13,758
Ooh, that one has got
to be your daughter. Roman,
222
00:08:13,794 --> 00:08:15,064
what are you doing here?
223
00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:16,825
Well, I was just
in the neighborhood,
224
00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:18,004
and I thought
I'd stop by.
225
00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:19,231
Oh.
226
00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:20,896
Go, Brittany!
227
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:22,204
Whoa!
Yeah!
228
00:08:22,235 --> 00:08:24,565
You just happened to have
that sign in your car?
229
00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:26,935
Well, you know, I
like to travel with a piece of cardboard
230
00:08:26,974 --> 00:08:28,114
and a few extra Sharpies.
231
00:08:28,141 --> 00:08:29,241
That way you're
always prepared
232
00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:30,836
in case you wanna
cheer or protest
233
00:08:30,878 --> 00:08:32,878
or pick up a little
extra spending money
234
00:08:32,913 --> 00:08:34,283
at the bottom of
the freeway ramp.
235
00:08:34,313 --> 00:08:35,923
(laughing)
236
00:08:35,948 --> 00:08:37,248
Oh! Hey, bro...
237
00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:39,854
Remember me?
I'm Roman.
238
00:08:39,886 --> 00:08:41,756
Yeah, dude, I remember you.
239
00:08:41,789 --> 00:08:44,629
I think last time I saw
you, you were humping
240
00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:46,958
the mother of my child
in a bathroom?
241
00:08:46,994 --> 00:08:48,964
Was that the taco stand
or the gas station?
242
00:08:48,996 --> 00:08:50,896
I'm talking about
Malik's, man.
243
00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:52,901
Oh, yeah.
(sighs)
244
00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:55,843
A gas station
bathroom, Kelly?
245
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:58,269
Oh.
At least you're keeping it classy.
246
00:08:58,305 --> 00:09:00,105
Hey, don't judge me!
247
00:09:00,140 --> 00:09:01,880
Oh, so, what? So,
it's okay for you
248
00:09:01,909 --> 00:09:03,879
to invite "Captain Caveman"
to the game, but I gotta
249
00:09:03,911 --> 00:09:04,851
clear it with you
to bring Camille?
250
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,848
You heard him--
he was in the neighborhood!
251
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,180
He had spare cardboard.
252
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:09,845
(mimics Roman):
Oh, I'm sure he did.
253
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:12,893
Too bad there's not
a JumboTron for y'all to do it on.
254
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:13,920
Oh, God.
255
00:09:13,954 --> 00:09:15,124
Yeah, I know, right?
256
00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:17,155
Um, hello? Oh!
Brittany's got the ball!
257
00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:18,760
She's going for it!
Oh!
258
00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:21,362
(Kelly screams)
259
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:22,704
(cheering)
260
00:09:22,730 --> 00:09:24,160
Goal...!
Oh, my God!
261
00:09:24,197 --> 00:09:25,367
They won! They won!
262
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,198
JASON:
Come on, bring it in!
263
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:28,904
That's my baby!
(yells)
264
00:09:28,936 --> 00:09:31,766
Thanks for the tip.
265
00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:33,135
Once I saw that
the other team's fullback
266
00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:34,883
was too busy picking
a wedgie from her butt,
267
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:36,038
I just blew right past her.
268
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,336
Way to capitalize--
just make sure
269
00:09:37,377 --> 00:09:38,847
when you shake
the other team's hands
270
00:09:38,879 --> 00:09:40,379
she doesn't slip you
the stink palm.
271
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,383
I like you-- you're
always thinking.
272
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:43,875
That's right.
273
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:45,947
MAN:
Your daughter's awesome!
274
00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:47,016
That's my daughter.
275
00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:48,894
Come on,
Brittany.
276
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,392
Mommy's gonna take you
out to celebrate.
277
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:52,763
Yeah! Uh, for some victory
ice cream-- my treat!
278
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:53,933
Yay!
279
00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:55,931
Wait. Who's he?
280
00:09:55,963 --> 00:09:58,403
Oh, baby, um, this is
Mommy's friend, Roman.
281
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:00,231
Hi.
He just happened to stop by.
282
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:02,367
Hey, as long as
he's paying, I'm good.
283
00:10:02,402 --> 00:10:03,602
Okay.
284
00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:07,072
Later, Dad.
Good job, baby girl. I'm proud of you.
285
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,043
Oh, bye, Chamomile.
286
00:10:11,078 --> 00:10:12,678
Bye.
It's Camille.
287
00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:14,883
Her name's...
It's Cami...
288
00:10:14,915 --> 00:10:17,785
BOTH (chanting):
Roman! Roman! Roman! Camille!
289
00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:18,948
Roman!
290
00:10:18,986 --> 00:10:20,386
ROMAN:
All right!
291
00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:22,160
Whoo!
Roman!
292
00:10:25,826 --> 00:10:27,826
(sighs)
293
00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:47,982
May I help you?
Oh... (laughs)
294
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:49,415
Uh, no, thanks, I'm fine.
295
00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:52,189
I was actually just,
um, checking the tulle
296
00:10:52,219 --> 00:10:54,049
on the dresses back here.
297
00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:56,287
Very nicely tulle'd.
298
00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,693
I remember you.
299
00:10:58,726 --> 00:11:01,696
You were here the other
day trying on...
300
00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:05,334
...this dress.
301
00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:08,335
Well, that might've been
the dress, but quite frankly,
302
00:11:08,368 --> 00:11:11,198
it's hard for me to tell
one white from another.
303
00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:15,135
Gown. One white gown
from another.
304
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,905
Ah.
305
00:11:16,944 --> 00:11:20,914
Well, if you'll excuse me,
I have customers to assist.
306
00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:23,378
Wait, wait, wait, well,
I might be a customer.
307
00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:26,946
I mean, I'm just
not at the "buying a dress" stage. Yet.
308
00:11:26,987 --> 00:11:30,017
See, we're still on the
"nailing down a date" stage.
309
00:11:30,057 --> 00:11:31,357
Mmm.
Which is going to happen right after
310
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:35,761
the "My fiancé has
his baby" stage.
311
00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:38,096
It's complicated.
312
00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:41,471
Well, complicated doesn't
cover my car payment,
313
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:43,371
so... I'll see you.
314
00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:44,743
Please don't
take the dress.
315
00:11:44,772 --> 00:11:46,242
WOMAN:
Excuse me, miss,
316
00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:49,083
can you help me,
please?
317
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:09,363
Dawg, I told you the men's
joint is down, not up.
318
00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:11,456
I pressed down.
No the hell you didn't!
319
00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:13,968
Got me up in some girly-
ass department store.
320
00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:16,801
Boy, I'm itching to drop two
large on some Ferragamo Nettos.
321
00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:19,107
Uh, uh, four, please.
Hold up!
322
00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:21,409
Look at Bridezilla over there
rocking a wedding gown.
323
00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:22,781
What you talking about?
324
00:12:22,810 --> 00:12:23,980
Uh, four, please.
325
00:12:24,011 --> 00:12:26,151
Woman, didn't I tell
you to hold on?! Damn!
326
00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:28,079
Oh, God!
327
00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:30,175
Dawg, look at girl
Melanie over there.
328
00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:31,347
What a sad sight.
Melanie?
329
00:12:33,386 --> 00:12:36,016
She getting her hopes
all up on a dress she knows she can't afford.
330
00:12:36,056 --> 00:12:37,386
How do you know
what we can't afford?
331
00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:39,994
Boy, please! Okay?
Look at the ring you bought her.
332
00:12:40,027 --> 00:12:41,057
Y'all broke, bro.
333
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:42,004
And trust me, man,
334
00:12:42,029 --> 00:12:43,959
I know what it's like
to be broke, okay?
335
00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:46,227
I remember back in the day,
all I could do was window shop.
336
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:49,040
Ding Dong,
look at her.
337
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:50,899
OLD LADY:
Excuse me!
338
00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:52,438
Don't you hear us having
a conversation?!
339
00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:54,112
Maybe we should just
take the stairs.
340
00:12:54,141 --> 00:12:55,311
No. Like hell
you will.
341
00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:57,182
You've been interrupting
me this whole time,
342
00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:58,850
now you're going to
the fourth floor.
343
00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:00,309
Push the button.
I voted for Obama!
344
00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:02,217
I don't give a damn
about that, woman!
345
00:13:02,249 --> 00:13:04,379
I'm rich! I ain't
for all them taxes.
346
00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:05,917
Push the button!
347
00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:07,123
Yo, yo, chill out, Angry Smurf.
348
00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:09,094
I'm gonna call her
and see what's up.
349
00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:10,092
Why are you gonna call her?
350
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:12,093
It's embarrassing enough
the girl can't afford
351
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:13,155
the dress she want, Derwin.
352
00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:20,902
See? Man, she's over it.
353
00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:21,904
She's putting it back.
354
00:13:21,935 --> 00:13:23,135
It's just a dress, man.
355
00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:25,110
Dawg, this is pitiful.
356
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,838
I might just drop a 20
right here in the elevator
357
00:13:27,875 --> 00:13:30,935
and just pray to God the girl
finds it on her way out.
358
00:13:34,281 --> 00:13:36,551
All right, come on,
Brittany, push through.
359
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:38,853
That-a-girl.
All right!
360
00:13:38,886 --> 00:13:41,046
Done!
Now a couple fat burners and it'll be like
361
00:13:41,088 --> 00:13:42,288
you never had that
ice cream at all.
362
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:45,132
Hey, baby, why don't
you run upstairs and hop in the shower?
363
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:46,458
I'll be up
in a minute.
364
00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:48,163
Thanks for
the ice cream, Ro.
365
00:13:48,195 --> 00:13:50,155
You're welcome,
sweetie. Anytime.
366
00:13:50,197 --> 00:13:51,967
(whispers):
Anytime.
367
00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:54,529
I think somebody's
a fan of Roman's.
368
00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:55,897
Did you hear that?
369
00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:57,096
She called me "Ro."
370
00:13:57,137 --> 00:14:00,037
You know, Roman,
now that we're alone,
371
00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:01,943
I'd like for you
to explain to me
372
00:14:01,975 --> 00:14:03,875
why you would show up
at Brittany's game
373
00:14:03,911 --> 00:14:06,611
when I told you that I wasn't
ready for you to meet her?
374
00:14:06,646 --> 00:14:08,046
Oh, easy, sweet cheeks.
375
00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:09,321
What are you
stressing for?
376
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:10,479
Everything went great.
377
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:12,187
She loves me.
378
00:14:12,219 --> 00:14:14,589
Now, let's break out some
strawberries and play... No,
379
00:14:14,621 --> 00:14:16,161
there's no more strawberries.
380
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:17,619
I don't want her to love you.
381
00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:21,257
I don't even want her to know
you until I know how I feel...
382
00:14:21,294 --> 00:14:23,504
and know where this
thing with us is going.
383
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,170
Or not.
384
00:14:26,599 --> 00:14:28,269
(clears throat)
Listen, Kel,
385
00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:31,071
we've been seeing each other
for some time now, okay?
386
00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:33,474
We've worked out together,
slept together...
387
00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:35,306
we've worked out
while we slept together.
388
00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:38,382
I mean, I don't know about you,
but... I felt the burn.
389
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:41,281
Roman, I'm not
ready to make this
390
00:14:41,314 --> 00:14:43,554
a committed relationship.
391
00:14:43,583 --> 00:14:45,493
Well, I think it's
a little late for that.
392
00:14:45,518 --> 00:14:47,248
I mean, I have feelings for you,
393
00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:49,157
and I thought you
had feelings for me.
394
00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:50,659
Especially after what
happened in the bathroom
395
00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:52,490
at the engagement party--
I mean, come on.
396
00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:54,555
I'm not saying that
I didn't enjoy that, but...
397
00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:56,034
But what?
398
00:14:56,063 --> 00:14:58,203
Oh, but that was about
making your ex jealous?
399
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,601
'Cause if that's what this
is about, you are playing
400
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:02,943
with the wrong dude.
This isn't about Jason.
401
00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:04,170
Really, Kel-Bop?
'Cause I'm thinking it does.
402
00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:06,044
Will you please stop
calling me that?
403
00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:07,373
That's why you've been
giving me the runaround,
404
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,107
and unless I'm burning calories,
I don't run--
405
00:15:09,142 --> 00:15:10,182
especially for some chick!
406
00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:12,050
Oh, now I'm just "some chick"?
407
00:15:12,079 --> 00:15:14,979
Roman, I'm not
giving you the runaround.
408
00:15:15,015 --> 00:15:17,345
I'm just... not
feeling it between us.
409
00:15:17,384 --> 00:15:19,554
Huh, you seemed to be feeling it
when I was giving it to you
410
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:20,716
in the Porta Potti
at Paco's Tacos.
411
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,293
You know what, Roman?
412
00:15:22,322 --> 00:15:23,262
I'd like you to leave.
413
00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:26,230
You want me to leave
your life or your house?
414
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:27,129
Both.
415
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,500
(chuckles) This is
how you treat a guy
416
00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:32,269
who shells out his hard-earned
cash and breaks his diet
417
00:15:32,299 --> 00:15:34,069
for your spoiled
little bratty kid?
418
00:15:34,101 --> 00:15:36,271
Get out of my house.
No, you don't just dump me.
419
00:15:36,303 --> 00:15:38,513
Let go of my arm!
God, why are you being such an ass?!
420
00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:39,968
Why are you being such a bitch?!
421
00:15:41,308 --> 00:15:42,378
What the hell's going on?
422
00:15:42,409 --> 00:15:44,339
Oh, hey, we're just
having ourselves
423
00:15:44,377 --> 00:15:46,147
a little private
conversation.
424
00:15:46,179 --> 00:15:48,049
Really? That's not
what my daughter said.
425
00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:50,151
Yeah, well, screw your daughter.
426
00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:51,423
(grunt)
(Brittany screams)
427
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,091
BRITTANY:
Daddy!
428
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:54,550
Come on, Pitts!
Get up!
429
00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:56,087
Oh, my nose!
430
00:15:56,123 --> 00:15:59,333
Get the hell out
of my house, man!
431
00:15:59,359 --> 00:16:01,389
Get the hell out of my house, or
I swear to God, I will kill you!
432
00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:03,358
This isn't over!
433
00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:09,037
Are you okay?
Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
434
00:16:09,069 --> 00:16:10,269
I'm good,
everything's good.
435
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:13,413
(panting):
You did the right thing calling me, Brittany.
436
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,080
Baby, I am so sorry.
437
00:16:15,108 --> 00:16:16,378
Jason, thank you.
438
00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:17,879
Look, I'm gonna go
make sure he's gone.
439
00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:20,510
You guys lock up the house
and turn on the alarm just in case, all right?
440
00:16:20,547 --> 00:16:21,547
Okay.
But, Daddy,
441
00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:23,651
what if he comes back to get us?
442
00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:25,793
Baby, he is
not coming back.
443
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:28,358
Please, Daddy! Please!
444
00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:30,588
Please, don't go.
Look, it's okay.
445
00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:33,193
I'm not... Okay, I'm not
going anywhere. All right?
446
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,200
Hey!
447
00:16:42,235 --> 00:16:43,365
Hey!
448
00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:44,603
Baby girl,
449
00:16:44,637 --> 00:16:46,507
you are right on time,
450
00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:48,379
'cause dinner is almost ready.
451
00:16:48,408 --> 00:16:51,638
Okay, well, since you're
doing the "cooking,"
452
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,778
how about I set the table?
453
00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:55,583
No, no, no,
no, no. Mm-mm.
454
00:16:55,615 --> 00:16:59,085
I see my fiancée's all tired
from a long week of studying,
455
00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:01,289
so tonight is on me.
456
00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:03,621
Oh.
In fact...
457
00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:06,726
why don't you take
yourself into the bedroom,
458
00:17:06,759 --> 00:17:08,829
slip off that fine-ass dress,
459
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,431
(laughs)
and get comfortable?
460
00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:11,763
Okay.
461
00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:15,068
Well, it ain't the dress
that makes this ass fine.
462
00:17:15,102 --> 00:17:16,342
Ah, don't hurt 'em.
463
00:17:18,338 --> 00:17:20,538
(radio playing song)
Oh, my God!
464
00:17:20,573 --> 00:17:22,313
(squeals)
465
00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:24,482
Derwin?!
466
00:17:24,511 --> 00:17:26,111
How did you know?
467
00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:27,776
Did... did
Tasha tell you?
468
00:17:27,814 --> 00:17:29,284
Tasha?
Yeah?
469
00:17:29,316 --> 00:17:31,216
Girl, please, ain't nobody
talking to no Tasha.
470
00:17:31,251 --> 00:17:32,691
Me and Malik was
in the store today
471
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:34,789
when we saw you
fall in love with that dress.
472
00:17:34,821 --> 00:17:36,561
So, I waited
till you were gone
473
00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:39,459
and I swooped in
for the sale.
474
00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:40,592
(laughs)
475
00:17:40,627 --> 00:17:42,297
Derwin...
476
00:17:42,329 --> 00:17:44,859
that is the sweetest,
477
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:47,267
most generous thing
in the world.
478
00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:48,440
(laughs)
479
00:17:48,468 --> 00:17:49,798
Baby, I love you.
480
00:17:49,836 --> 00:17:52,336
Mwa. And...
481
00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:54,172
I love this dress.
482
00:17:54,207 --> 00:17:55,637
But too bad I
can't keep it.
483
00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:56,805
What?!
484
00:17:56,843 --> 00:17:58,653
Baby... you've seen it.
485
00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:00,478
I mean, that's bad luck.
486
00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:02,553
I'm not taking any chances
487
00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:05,192
losing the love of my life.
488
00:18:05,218 --> 00:18:07,218
Come on, baby girl,
you're not gonna lose me!
489
00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:08,794
Well, not if I don't
wear this dress.
490
00:18:08,821 --> 00:18:10,491
(sighs)
Derwin,
491
00:18:10,523 --> 00:18:12,863
just the fact
that you did this,
492
00:18:12,892 --> 00:18:14,432
that's why I love you.
493
00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:15,731
(laughs)
494
00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:19,126
Come on, I mean, don't
look so disappointed.
495
00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:21,296
Honestly, I mean,
honestly,
496
00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:22,804
I really wasn't ready
to buy a dress.
497
00:18:22,835 --> 00:18:24,735
I mean, I really
wanted to take my time
498
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:28,181
and go shopping with my mom
like I've always dreamed.
499
00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:29,438
So, see?
500
00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:30,606
You're my hero!
Ow!
501
00:18:30,643 --> 00:18:31,843
Kimbo Slice!
502
00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:34,448
Fine, I'll take it back.
503
00:18:34,481 --> 00:18:36,451
All right, but you are
gonna take the money
504
00:18:36,483 --> 00:18:38,423
that I get, and you're gonna
buy yourself something nice.
505
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:40,791
'Cause I don't want you making
anymore sacrifices for me, okay?
506
00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:41,920
Okay.
507
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,294
Promise me?
508
00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:44,593
I promise.
509
00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:47,234
That's my girl.
510
00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:48,430
(sighs):
Damn.
511
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:50,431
This must be my lucky day.
512
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:53,833
I mean, first I find a 20
in the elevator, and now this?
513
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:56,466
Everything's coming up Melanie!
(laughs)
514
00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:58,513
Up top!
515
00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:00,438
You are such a dork.
516
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:02,483
All right, give me a kiss.
517
00:19:02,509 --> 00:19:03,879
Okay, always.
518
00:19:03,910 --> 00:19:05,380
Oh, God, I love you.
519
00:19:05,412 --> 00:19:06,512
I got your favorite.
520
00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:11,219
(grunts)
521
00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:14,392
How'd you sleep?
522
00:19:14,421 --> 00:19:16,691
That bed in the guestroom
is a chiropractor's dream.
523
00:19:16,723 --> 00:19:18,433
I know. Remember you got it
524
00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:20,488
so no one would wanna
stay very long.
525
00:19:20,527 --> 00:19:22,857
I am an evil genius.
(laughs)
526
00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:26,265
I, um, made you this shake
to take to the gym.
527
00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:28,569
Thank you.
528
00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:30,601
What the hell is this thing?
529
00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:31,637
Hey!
530
00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:37,507
Perfect, as always.
531
00:19:40,347 --> 00:19:43,517
Hey, um, thank you
for last night. Come on.
532
00:19:43,550 --> 00:19:44,920
Um... don't worry about it.
533
00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:46,421
(clears throat)
534
00:19:47,454 --> 00:19:49,524
Well, I gotta go.
The guys are waiting
535
00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:51,556
for me at the gym, so...
Are you sure
536
00:19:51,591 --> 00:19:52,931
you don't want to stay
for some breakfast?
537
00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:54,359
I don't know, what you got?
538
00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:55,534
(cell phone rings)
Oh, hold on.
539
00:19:58,431 --> 00:20:00,231
Jason Pitts.
540
00:20:00,267 --> 00:20:02,637
Hey, Camille.
541
00:20:02,669 --> 00:20:05,469
No, I'm sorry I didn't get
a chance to call you, baby.
542
00:20:05,505 --> 00:20:07,565
It was, uh, um,
it's a long story.
543
00:20:07,607 --> 00:20:09,277
I'll tell you later.
544
00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:10,479
Okay. I gotta...
545
00:20:10,510 --> 00:20:12,450
Yeah.
546
00:20:12,479 --> 00:20:14,679
No, I gotta go to the gym.
547
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:17,624
If I don't go,
I'm gonna get a fine.
548
00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:19,690
Are you gonna make it
worth my while?
549
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:21,619
(laughs):
You're stupid.
550
00:20:21,654 --> 00:20:23,364
(laughs)
551
00:20:23,390 --> 00:20:26,290
Okay. All right.
552
00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:28,796
(Jason chuckles, door closes)
553
00:20:28,846 --> 00:20:33,396
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