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1
00:00:02,503 --> 00:00:06,213
Jason "Rock Head" Pitts.
2
00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:07,740
(guys laughing)
3
00:00:07,775 --> 00:00:10,475
Oh... my God.
4
00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:12,481
Don't try to call on
God now, Satan.
5
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:15,253
(fake British accent):
Hmm. Today on Wild Kingdom,
6
00:00:15,283 --> 00:00:16,823
an elderly lion,
Jason Pitts,
7
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:20,750
has to fend off an angry cougar
in knockoff clothing.
8
00:00:20,788 --> 00:00:22,788
(fake British accent):
Malik, I can tell in my gut
9
00:00:22,823 --> 00:00:25,063
that this cougar is
not packing a pistol, Mm.
10
00:00:25,093 --> 00:00:27,103
which rules out
illegitimate children
11
00:00:27,128 --> 00:00:29,258
and/or a faster, younger
kitten mistress.
12
00:00:29,297 --> 00:00:31,797
Mm.
(bad British accent): Top of the morning to ya.
13
00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:33,132
G'day, mate.
14
00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:34,367
What are you doing?
15
00:00:34,402 --> 00:00:35,442
'Cause that ain't
what we're doing.
16
00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:37,639
Then why the hell
haven't you returned my calls?
17
00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:39,571
You're the one who brought
the lawyers into this, Kel.
18
00:00:39,607 --> 00:00:40,767
Talk to my lawyer.
You remember Morris?
19
00:00:40,808 --> 00:00:42,238
Sharp-toothed barracuda
20
00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:43,506
about yea high.
I think...
21
00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:45,454
Yeah, I think he made you cry.
You were...
22
00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:48,349
Oh, you mean the jerk
who thought he could get custody of my daughter
23
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:50,652
right up to the moment
that I made you my bitch?
24
00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:52,154
(all gasp)
25
00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:54,386
What do you want, Kelly?
26
00:00:54,422 --> 00:00:56,522
The lease is up
on my car.
27
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:59,257
I need a new one so I can
drive your daughter to school.
28
00:00:59,293 --> 00:01:00,433
I bought you three cars, Kelly.
29
00:01:00,461 --> 00:01:01,631
You spit on them.
30
00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:03,232
You've got a job.
Get your own lease.
31
00:01:03,264 --> 00:01:04,634
I don't have any credit.
32
00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:06,295
Everything's in your name,
remember?
33
00:01:06,334 --> 00:01:08,574
God, I love myself.
34
00:01:08,602 --> 00:01:12,742
(fake accent):
Ooh, the male lion seems to be holding his ground quite well.
35
00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:14,543
Indubitably, I say.
36
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:16,105
(with Jamaican accent):
Bring it down now,
37
00:01:16,144 --> 00:01:19,684
come selectah, rewind,
buck-buck, murderer.
38
00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:22,583
Dude, what's wrong
with you?
39
00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:25,746
You mess with me, I will drop
the steroids card again,
40
00:01:25,786 --> 00:01:27,116
just like I did in arbitration.
41
00:01:27,155 --> 00:01:28,685
I will make you my bitch
right here
42
00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:30,322
in front
of all your little friends.
43
00:01:30,358 --> 00:01:31,288
You know what, Kelly?
44
00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:33,725
Either spot me or get
the hell out of my face.
45
00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:40,700
Hello!
46
00:01:40,734 --> 00:01:42,744
Can I have everyone's
attention, please?
47
00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:43,900
Guys!
48
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,907
You want to know
what your beloved
49
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,779
team captain
has been up to?
50
00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:48,808
Cross-dressing?
51
00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:49,812
Line dancing?
52
00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:50,883
Midget porn?
53
00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:52,351
(laughter)
54
00:01:52,380 --> 00:01:55,480
Jason Pitts
has been... Kelly.
55
00:01:55,516 --> 00:01:56,676
This is not cool.
56
00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:58,247
Neither is midget porn.
57
00:01:58,286 --> 00:01:59,316
Get me a frickin' car.
No.
58
00:01:59,353 --> 00:02:01,363
You're not going to come in here
and blackmail me.
59
00:02:01,389 --> 00:02:02,589
Oh, yeah, that's right.
60
00:02:02,623 --> 00:02:04,793
I'm going to yellowmail you.
61
00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:07,155
Jason Pitts has
been using...
62
00:02:07,195 --> 00:02:09,595
All of his efforts to find
his wife the perfect car.
63
00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,230
I'm buying Kelly a car.
64
00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:13,295
(all grumbling)
JASON: I know. I know.
65
00:02:13,334 --> 00:02:15,374
(squealing
with delight) I know.
66
00:02:15,403 --> 00:02:16,743
Are you happy now?
67
00:02:16,770 --> 00:02:18,470
Ah, yes, very.
68
00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:20,766
It's a pleasure doing business
with you, Mr. Pitts.
69
00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:23,178
Oh, and I want the car
by Saturday.
70
00:02:23,211 --> 00:02:24,181
(hissing)
71
00:02:24,212 --> 00:02:26,212
Or I'll be back.
72
00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:39,358
Kelly, your new car
is adorable.
73
00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:41,803
I know, I love it.
It's eco-friendly.
74
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:43,629
I'm saving the planet
and sticking it to Jason.
75
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:44,774
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
so is that why
76
00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:46,568
you invited us over here?
77
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,600
'Cause I was about
to go to the gun range.
78
00:02:48,636 --> 00:02:50,236
No, actually, I need to talk
to you guys about Joe.
79
00:02:50,271 --> 00:02:52,371
Joe? You got a dog?
80
00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:53,866
Joe-- her boyfriend.
81
00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:56,377
Oh. Why your boyfriend
got a dog's name?
82
00:02:56,410 --> 00:02:58,480
(both laughing)
No!
83
00:02:58,512 --> 00:02:59,552
He's not my boyfriend.
84
00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:00,680
Not officially.
85
00:03:00,714 --> 00:03:01,924
We haven't done it.
86
00:03:01,949 --> 00:03:02,879
What you all been doing
87
00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:04,646
for the past two months,
playing tiddlywinks?
88
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,385
Oh, relationships aren't
only about sex, Tasha.
89
00:03:07,421 --> 00:03:09,591
Says the girl who's sleeping
with two different men.
90
00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:11,533
I'm not sleeping
with Derwin.
91
00:03:11,559 --> 00:03:13,529
We don't have to have
sex to connect.
92
00:03:13,561 --> 00:03:14,731
Does he know that?
93
00:03:14,762 --> 00:03:17,532
Intimacy is more
important than sex.
94
00:03:17,565 --> 00:03:19,265
Right, Kelly?
95
00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:20,370
Don't ask me.
96
00:03:20,401 --> 00:03:22,641
Jason and I had
unbelievable sex.
97
00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:24,570
Our sex was...
98
00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:26,765
You know what,
words don't even do it justice.
99
00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:28,677
Let me get a tape and show you.
100
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,739
Oh, get the one
from the 30th birthday party.
101
00:03:30,778 --> 00:03:32,578
The Peter Pan joint.
Uh-uh, no.
102
00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:34,653
No. No one wants
to see that again.
103
00:03:34,682 --> 00:03:35,782
We all know
how it ends.
104
00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:38,616
I just didn't want to rush
things with Joe, you know,
105
00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:40,352
because of Brittany.
106
00:03:40,388 --> 00:03:42,818
I don't want to parade some
naked guy around the house.
107
00:03:42,856 --> 00:03:44,856
Girl, just tell her
he's her uncle.
108
00:03:44,892 --> 00:03:46,962
Shoot, Malik thinks
I got 14 brothers.
109
00:03:46,994 --> 00:03:48,904
Joe hasn't even really
made a move yet.
110
00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:51,299
So, I've been thinking
of a way to show him
111
00:03:51,332 --> 00:03:52,602
I may be ready.
112
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:56,667
Fuzzy handcuffs, edible undies,
113
00:03:56,704 --> 00:03:58,514
a little duct tape.
114
00:03:58,539 --> 00:04:00,969
Who are you, Porno MacGyver?
115
00:04:01,008 --> 00:04:03,278
What? Too much?
116
00:04:03,311 --> 00:04:05,381
Jason loves this stuff.
117
00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:07,683
I mean, we busted this out
on our second date.
118
00:04:07,715 --> 00:04:08,675
What?
119
00:04:08,716 --> 00:04:09,676
What?
120
00:04:09,717 --> 00:04:11,587
He fed me first.
121
00:04:11,619 --> 00:04:12,589
Wait, no, he didn't.
122
00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:14,990
Oh, but in his defense,
I was full from lunch.
123
00:04:15,022 --> 00:04:18,392
Ooh, grape-flavored condoms.
124
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:21,730
Organic warming lotion?
125
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,602
Uh-uh, I don't need
no warming up.
126
00:04:23,631 --> 00:04:24,771
I'm hot enough.
127
00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:26,368
Now, if you've got
some cooling lotion.
128
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:29,270
(laughing)
Ooh, pearls. Pretty.
129
00:04:30,438 --> 00:04:32,638
Uh, those don't go there.
130
00:04:32,673 --> 00:04:34,513
Oh. Like a bracelet?
131
00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:35,812
Much cuter.
132
00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:37,877
What, what's this?
133
00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:38,881
You all been playing Mandingo?
134
00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:39,912
Ow.
135
00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:40,947
No.
136
00:04:40,981 --> 00:04:42,781
(chuckling)
Yes.
137
00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:44,646
Come on, you guys,
I need your help.
138
00:04:44,685 --> 00:04:46,685
Look, I want Joe to
know that I'm ready,
139
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,060
but he's a regular guy.
140
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:50,658
I don't want to scare him
with all my stuff.
141
00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:53,461
Okay, you plan on using
all this in one night?
142
00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:54,534
No.
143
00:04:55,729 --> 00:04:57,329
Yes.
144
00:04:57,365 --> 00:04:58,665
Come on,
you guys.
145
00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:01,399
God, things were so much easier
with Jason.
146
00:05:01,435 --> 00:05:03,365
All I had to do
was grab his goodies,
147
00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:04,914
and he was good to go.
148
00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:06,738
God, I miss that.
149
00:05:06,774 --> 00:05:09,814
Wait, Kelly, you're not trying
to rush into the sex thing (sighs)
150
00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:11,553
because you're missing Jason?
151
00:05:11,579 --> 00:05:12,679
No.
152
00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:15,924
I don't think so.
153
00:05:15,949 --> 00:05:17,419
Look, it's time.
154
00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:18,621
Says who?
155
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:20,522
Says every woman who wants
to keep her man.
156
00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:22,364
Melanie, look.
157
00:05:22,390 --> 00:05:24,690
I know Jason and I
aren't together anymore,
158
00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:26,825
but we stayed as happy
for as long as we did
159
00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:28,530
partially because of the sex.
160
00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:30,032
I mean, with all
our issues,
161
00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:33,533
the one thing I knew was that
Jason was satisfied sexually.
162
00:05:33,567 --> 00:05:35,967
Mmm. He wasn't going anywhere.
163
00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:39,413
Well, I refuse to believe
it's all about sex.
164
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:41,070
Okay, well, you keep
refusing to believe it,
165
00:05:41,108 --> 00:05:42,678
and that man
gonna cheat on you
166
00:05:42,710 --> 00:05:43,980
and have babies
by other women.
167
00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:45,081
Oh, too late.
168
00:05:45,112 --> 00:05:46,652
Sorry, girl.
169
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,680
You're just the poster child
for what not to do.
170
00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:51,017
I mean, most athletes
are notorious
171
00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:52,421
for screwing anything
that moves.
172
00:05:52,453 --> 00:05:53,423
Like Rick Fox?
173
00:05:53,454 --> 00:05:54,594
(laughing)
174
00:05:54,622 --> 00:05:55,992
I am sure Tasha's using
175
00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:57,963
every trick in the book on Rick.
176
00:05:57,991 --> 00:05:59,691
Right.
177
00:05:59,727 --> 00:06:02,857
Shoot. Y'all ain't got to worry
about Tasha Mack, okay?
178
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:05,066
'Cause I'm Houdini
up in them sheets.
179
00:06:05,098 --> 00:06:06,798
Ta-dah, bitches.
180
00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:11,771
Hocus-pocus, abracadabra,
presto-chango.
181
00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:14,413
Don't try this at home.
182
00:06:14,442 --> 00:06:16,012
Don't try it. Shoot.
183
00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:23,749
(pop song playing on radio)
184
00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:28,963
(turns off radio)
Come on, dude, hurry up.
185
00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:31,589
Oh, for God's sake,
she brought duct tape.
186
00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:33,855
Ah!
What?
187
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,064
Your bag was open.
188
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:36,355
God!
189
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:40,496
Hey, can I have some
more of that raspberry passion lip gloss?
190
00:06:42,670 --> 00:06:44,640
You know, um,
speaking of raspberry,
191
00:06:44,672 --> 00:06:47,482
there is a great
gelato place down by the beach.
192
00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:50,008
Or we could order whipped
cream from room service
193
00:06:50,043 --> 00:06:51,953
and I could
eat it off you.
194
00:06:51,979 --> 00:06:52,979
Joe.
195
00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:54,183
What? What's wrong?
196
00:06:54,214 --> 00:06:56,024
I thought you were
ready to do this.
197
00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:57,219
It's not that I'm....
198
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,050
(rapping on window)
worried about this,
199
00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:00,616
I'm just worried
200
00:07:00,654 --> 00:07:02,564
about what's gonna
happen after this.
201
00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:05,130
What's gonna happen
between us tomorrow?
202
00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:06,158
(rapping)
What do you mean?
203
00:07:06,193 --> 00:07:09,633
It's just my life is really
complicated right now.
204
00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:10,803
Well, look,
205
00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:12,131
it doesn't have to be.
206
00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:17,866
(rapping "Shave and a Haircut")
207
00:07:17,905 --> 00:07:19,935
Dude, would you chill? Oh!
208
00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:22,183
Oh!
Oh, my God!
209
00:07:22,209 --> 00:07:23,739
Jason!
210
00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:29,781
Jason... stop!
211
00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:31,217
Jason!
212
00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:33,721
Are you crazy?
Do you want to go to jail?
213
00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:35,724
Jail would be worth it
for crushing his skull.
214
00:07:35,756 --> 00:07:37,116
What the hell are you doing
with my wife, man?!
215
00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:38,657
Driving my car!
216
00:07:38,692 --> 00:07:39,932
I-I thought you guys
were divorced.
217
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,060
Is that what she told you?
218
00:07:41,094 --> 00:07:42,064
We are.
219
00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:43,255
Will be, soon.
Practically.
220
00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:44,796
Jason, what are you
even doing here?
221
00:07:44,832 --> 00:07:46,532
Oh, I should ask you
the same thing.
222
00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:47,937
You're out here looking
like some trollop
223
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:48,938
with your poofy hair.
224
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:51,069
You should be home taking care
of our daughter.
225
00:07:51,104 --> 00:07:52,114
Whoa.
226
00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:53,069
Daughter?
Okay,
227
00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:55,276
I-I probably should have
told you about her.
228
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:56,838
Brittany is at
a sleepover.
229
00:07:56,877 --> 00:07:58,677
What are you even
doing here?
230
00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:00,752
Did you hire another
private investigator?
231
00:08:00,781 --> 00:08:02,281
Oh, you're damn right I did.
232
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:03,515
Tee Tee, we're all clear.
233
00:08:03,551 --> 00:08:05,991
TEE TEE:
Cool. Uh, think I can get the rest of my money?
234
00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:07,789
Tee Tee, I'm losing you.
Ten-four.
235
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,091
So, uh...
236
00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:10,622
what-what is he, the pool guy?
237
00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:13,088
Wait a minute, wait, wait.
Did you hire a pool guy?
238
00:08:13,126 --> 00:08:14,796
I'm a club promoter...
(gasps)
239
00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:17,158
I can't believe you'd
disrespect me like this.
240
00:08:17,197 --> 00:08:18,567
"Oh, I need the car
for Brittany."
241
00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:19,929
Now you got some
douche bartender driving it?
242
00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:21,267
Club promoter.
243
00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:22,801
Dude, I will kill you.
244
00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:26,707
Jason, please. Please.
245
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:28,280
Jason, come on, man,
we don't want any trouble.
246
00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:29,478
Look, I'm
a big fan... Now,
247
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:32,109
you are this close to seeing
the inside of your own ass.
248
00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:33,005
Do you understand me?
249
00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:34,576
Do you understand me?
Jason, Jason...
250
00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:36,115
What are you gonna do,
beat him up?
251
00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:37,779
Kill him?
252
00:08:37,818 --> 00:08:39,818
They're calling the cops.
253
00:08:39,852 --> 00:08:41,092
Is it really worth
it to you
254
00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:43,291
to lose everything?
255
00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:45,233
Just go, Jason.
256
00:08:46,259 --> 00:08:47,329
Fine.
257
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,960
Fine.
258
00:08:49,897 --> 00:08:52,127
Get the hell out of my way.
259
00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:54,735
What are
you doing?
260
00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:56,138
(engine starting)
What are you doing?
261
00:08:56,169 --> 00:08:58,069
I'm taking what's mine.
262
00:08:58,105 --> 00:09:00,165
You two have a good night.
Jason...
263
00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:01,977
Jason!
264
00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:03,309
(horn beeps twice)
265
00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:04,753
You all right?
266
00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:06,278
Yeah, I'm fine.
I'm fine!
267
00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:07,583
I am so sorry.
268
00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:08,715
You should be.
269
00:09:08,749 --> 00:09:10,279
You could've given
me the heads up
270
00:09:10,317 --> 00:09:12,117
that you have some
crazy stalker husband.
271
00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:14,762
I told you, my life
is complicated! Whatever.
272
00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:16,218
Look, if you don't
get that car back,
273
00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:17,726
you owe me two
Bon Jovi CDs.
274
00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:19,728
Can we get a
couple taxis?
275
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:22,030
TV ANNOUNCER:
You've been watching Titanic.
276
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,902
Romance month continues
on Platinum Cinema Classics
277
00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:26,332
with The English Patient.
278
00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:28,736
Oh, Titan is still
my favorite movie.
279
00:09:28,769 --> 00:09:29,969
It's so romantic.
280
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:31,173
(laughs):
Yeah, I guess.
281
00:09:31,204 --> 00:09:33,074
I mean, the guy only
gets to hit once,
282
00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:34,306
and then he
freezes to death.
283
00:09:34,341 --> 00:09:35,911
Yes.
284
00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:38,053
Well, come on, Derwin,
isn't it romantic?
285
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:40,308
I mean, doesn't it
remind you of us?
286
00:09:40,347 --> 00:09:42,177
Two people from different worlds
287
00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:44,175
who get together
despite the odds?
288
00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:46,617
How about I hit once
and then I decide?
289
00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:50,619
You know, I was just
telling the girls today
290
00:09:50,658 --> 00:09:51,888
how even though
you and I
291
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:54,055
haven't been having sex,
we're still connected.
292
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:56,764
Am I wrong?
293
00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:00,331
Well, if I say no,
can we have sex?
294
00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:02,297
No, Derwin!
295
00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:04,265
Oh, come on.
296
00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:05,914
All right, all right,
I'm sorry.
297
00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:07,779
It's just that
I'm a man. Damn!
298
00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:09,338
Like, why aren't
we having sex?
299
00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:12,206
Okay, I just don't want
to end up like Kelly and Jason.
300
00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:14,645
I mean, all they had
in common was sex.
301
00:10:14,682 --> 00:10:15,952
Now look at them.
302
00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:18,093
So this is about
Kelly and Jason?
303
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:20,848
Wow! I know we got
a lot going on,
304
00:10:20,888 --> 00:10:24,658
but we have always had a lot
more in common than just sex.
305
00:10:25,693 --> 00:10:26,833
Like?
306
00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:28,700
Like...
307
00:10:28,729 --> 00:10:30,729
like... um...
308
00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:31,974
Mm-hmm?
like we...
309
00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:33,829
we just watched
a movie together.
310
00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:35,067
Mm.
311
00:10:35,102 --> 00:10:38,842
We-we both live
in San Diego.
312
00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:41,142
We both like...
313
00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:42,984
to tickle each other...
314
00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:43,980
What?
315
00:10:44,011 --> 00:10:45,351
You suck.
316
00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:48,917
Oh, wow.
317
00:10:48,949 --> 00:10:50,979
Well, you don't.
318
00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:52,888
Okay.
319
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:54,250
You...
320
00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:56,417
need your mouth
washed out.
321
00:10:58,759 --> 00:11:00,289
Okay.
322
00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:02,397
That makes two of us.
(gasps)
323
00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:07,995
Okay, there.
324
00:11:08,035 --> 00:11:09,335
Oh. Okay.
325
00:11:10,470 --> 00:11:11,840
Oh!
326
00:11:11,872 --> 00:11:13,012
(giggles)
327
00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:15,140
Oh, you want a
wet T-shirt contest!
328
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:18,175
(laughing, squealing)
Okay.
329
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:19,481
Ow! God, Derwin,
330
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:21,012
my eye!
Oh!
331
00:11:21,048 --> 00:11:22,148
Mel, baby, I'm sorry...
332
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,322
Oh!
(laughing)
333
00:11:26,787 --> 00:11:28,757
No!
334
00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:31,019
(laughing)
335
00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:33,928
TV ANNOUNCER:
And now, The English Patient.
336
00:11:33,961 --> 00:11:35,961
(music playing on TV)
337
00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:38,327
Please?
338
00:11:41,301 --> 00:11:44,041
You're lucky I love you.
339
00:11:44,071 --> 00:11:46,311
(exhales)
340
00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:48,879
(laughing)
341
00:11:48,909 --> 00:11:50,339
Mm...
342
00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:52,907
What the...?
343
00:11:52,946 --> 00:11:54,076
Hey, dude.
344
00:11:54,114 --> 00:11:55,284
What's up?
345
00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:56,215
Uh, you tell me, Jason.
346
00:11:56,249 --> 00:11:58,349
What the hell is this
car doing in my spot?
347
00:11:58,385 --> 00:11:59,885
I don't know. It was here.
348
00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:01,390
It was here when I got here.
349
00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:02,921
Ooh... shiny.
350
00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:04,286
Malik, can I have it?
351
00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:06,934
Didn't I just buy
you that slushie?
352
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,030
Yeah.
Okay.
353
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:09,931
Be grateful.
(chuckles)
354
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,371
(doorbell buzzes)
Tell me... I don't know, man.
355
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,470
I-I-I was impressed, 'cause
I thought maybe you...
356
00:12:15,502 --> 00:12:18,342
Right.
357
00:12:18,371 --> 00:12:19,911
Oh...
358
00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:21,240
You-you probably
shouldn't get that.
359
00:12:21,274 --> 00:12:23,214
I'm-I'm just... I'm
just gonna leave.
360
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:24,983
Tell me you didn't kill Kelly--
'cause I am not
361
00:12:25,012 --> 00:12:26,452
in the mood to pull
an Al Cowling, Jason.
362
00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:27,819
No, Kelly's fine, man.
363
00:12:27,848 --> 00:12:28,948
Who's Al Cowling?
364
00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:30,452
O.J.'s friend.
365
00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:31,793
O.J. who?
366
00:12:33,020 --> 00:12:35,060
I'm gonna need to see
some ID, 'kay?
367
00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,218
(elevator whirring)
Chop chop.
368
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:37,956
A-And you...
Yo...
369
00:12:37,991 --> 00:12:39,161
Don't...
Shh. Shh.
370
00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:44,055
Evening, officers.
371
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:46,197
Evening, Mr. Wright.
We're looking for Jason Pitts.
372
00:12:46,233 --> 00:12:48,343
Sorry to bother you,
sir, but we have
373
00:12:48,368 --> 00:12:49,838
a report of a disturbance
374
00:12:49,870 --> 00:12:51,910
outside the Hotel
San Juan Capistrano
375
00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:54,239
resulting in an assault
and grand theft auto.
376
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,514
Yikes. I don't know.
377
00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:57,982
I don't... I don't know
anything about it.
378
00:12:58,011 --> 00:12:59,951
The car's right there,
Mr. Pitts.
379
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:02,550
(chuckles):
Oh. Oh, no.
380
00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:05,392
Yeah, no, I can explain
that, officers. Um...
381
00:13:05,418 --> 00:13:08,358
I bought my wife this car,
and then, you know...
382
00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:11,258
things just kind of got
a little out of control.
383
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,431
Wait, are you guys
gonna arrest him?
384
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:14,430
(forced laughter)
385
00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:16,301
MALIK:
Silly girl.
386
00:13:16,329 --> 00:13:17,599
Finish your slushie.
387
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:20,030
Obviously, this is
a misunderstanding.
388
00:13:20,067 --> 00:13:21,267
Uh, look, Mr. Pitts...
No.
389
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:22,541
Jason.
390
00:13:22,569 --> 00:13:23,539
Really?
391
00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:24,910
Come on. Absolutely.
392
00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:26,138
Uh, okay.
393
00:13:26,173 --> 00:13:28,383
Well, Jason, uh...
(clears throat)
394
00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:29,878
we're big fans
of you and Malik...
395
00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:31,280
Ah. Mr. Wright.
396
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,211
Yes. Of course.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
397
00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:34,876
OFFICER:
Um, you know what?
398
00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:36,215
We're gonna get
out of your hair,
399
00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:38,149
but, seriously,
just give the car back.
400
00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:39,585
Yeah, these broads
aren't worth it.
401
00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:41,419
Who you telling?
You know what, guys?
402
00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:43,594
Y'all want to come
to the game on Sunday?
403
00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:45,363
Yeah? Yeah?
We gonna have Yeah.
404
00:13:45,392 --> 00:13:47,592
two tickets for y'all
waiting at the box office.
405
00:13:47,627 --> 00:13:49,557
And if you ever want
to shoot my gun...
406
00:13:49,596 --> 00:13:51,966
Uh, Tommy.
I told you about that.
407
00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:53,099
Sorry.
408
00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:54,333
But you can.
409
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:55,967
(clicks tongue)
Gotcha.
410
00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:57,373
Hey, y'all be safe.
411
00:13:57,404 --> 00:13:58,444
All right?
"Protect and serve," man.
412
00:13:58,471 --> 00:14:00,111
You're doing
y'all job.
413
00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:02,510
I appreciate it.
Oh, that's quite a grip you got there.
414
00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:04,112
Low crime rate in this area.
415
00:14:05,112 --> 00:14:06,512
Dude, what the hell
416
00:14:06,546 --> 00:14:07,946
is going on with you?
417
00:14:07,981 --> 00:14:09,421
You seriously
are becoming O.J.
418
00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:11,349
Who is this O.J.?
419
00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:16,193
Jason, this is some
lose-your-career mess, man.
420
00:14:16,223 --> 00:14:17,963
Everything you done
worked hard for--
421
00:14:17,991 --> 00:14:19,991
your squeaky clean image,
your endorsements--
422
00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:21,927
and now, what,
your shoulder's strained?
423
00:14:21,962 --> 00:14:23,662
Uh, no...
424
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,566
You gonna let
a woman ruin you?
425
00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:26,568
I know, brother.
426
00:14:26,599 --> 00:14:28,969
I almost did the same thing
messing with Robin.
427
00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:30,542
But you're about
to retire soon, Jason.
428
00:14:30,570 --> 00:14:32,440
Do you want to go
out early, man?
429
00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:36,342
(radio turns on)
* It's a sad reality
430
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:38,376
* When the one you love...
431
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:39,911
Sorry.
432
00:14:39,947 --> 00:14:41,407
(radio turns off)
433
00:14:41,448 --> 00:14:44,348
(sighs)
434
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,224
Man, don't go out
like this.
435
00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:47,353
I hear you, man.
436
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,687
You're... you're
right, you're right.
437
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:50,862
Thank you.
All right, brother.
438
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:54,290
I-I don't know how those
cops knew I was here. Well...
439
00:14:54,327 --> 00:14:56,657
Yeah, yeah, Tommy,
I'm looking forward to shooting your gun.
440
00:14:57,965 --> 00:14:58,925
I want all my money.
441
00:14:58,966 --> 00:15:00,366
Wow.
442
00:15:13,213 --> 00:15:15,723
Uh... Tasha, I don't think
I'm feeling this.
443
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:19,148
(muffled, lisping):
What? You don't think this is sexy?
444
00:15:19,186 --> 00:15:20,286
No.
445
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:22,090
Come on, Rick.
446
00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:24,422
I just wanted to try
something new.
447
00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:25,557
Why?
448
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:26,692
Well...
449
00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:29,526
I was talking
with the girls, and...
450
00:15:29,562 --> 00:15:31,332
I don't know, I think
I might have whipped out
451
00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:32,734
my best sex tricks
too soon.
452
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,695
I don't want you
to get bored.
453
00:15:34,734 --> 00:15:37,944
Uh, Tasha, the one
thing I will never be with you is bored.
454
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,205
Scared, maybe.
455
00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:42,010
I just know you been with
so many different women--
456
00:15:42,042 --> 00:15:43,642
beautiful ones,
freaky ones... Uh, Tasha,
457
00:15:43,676 --> 00:15:46,276
don't tell me you have
Ugly Girl Syndrome.
458
00:15:46,313 --> 00:15:48,983
Oh, my God.
Are you saying I'm ugly?
459
00:15:49,016 --> 00:15:51,546
I'm hideous. I'm an animal.
Don't look at me, Rick.
460
00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:53,154
Tasha, don't be crazy.
461
00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:54,486
You're beautiful.
462
00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:55,761
I'm just saying,
463
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,518
you're acting like you
got that syndrome,
464
00:15:57,557 --> 00:15:58,657
where you're
so insecure,
465
00:15:58,691 --> 00:16:00,491
you'll do anything
to please your man.
466
00:16:00,527 --> 00:16:02,427
Well, what do you expect?
467
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:03,632
What? You're Rick Fox.
468
00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:05,133
Rick... Fox.
469
00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:06,625
And you're Tasha Mack.
470
00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:09,296
Tasha... Mack.
471
00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:12,366
If anyone needs to step
their game up, it's me.
472
00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:15,635
Look, I'm not the guy
everybody thinks I am.
473
00:16:15,675 --> 00:16:19,105
I mean, yeah, I've
had a wild life.
474
00:16:19,146 --> 00:16:22,716
But the truth is,
I'm tired, Tasha.
475
00:16:22,749 --> 00:16:25,549
Look, now...
476
00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:28,255
I just want to watch
TV and cuddle and...
477
00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:30,558
have lazy sex
like everyone else.
478
00:16:31,558 --> 00:16:32,528
In a bed.
479
00:16:32,559 --> 00:16:35,029
Okay, so now I'm supposed
to be the bored bitch?
480
00:16:35,062 --> 00:16:37,162
No.
481
00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:39,397
You're supposed
to be my woman.
482
00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:43,338
That's it?
483
00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:44,800
That's it.
484
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,807
Know what?
485
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:48,439
You're right.
486
00:16:48,475 --> 00:16:51,105
Shoot, I am Tasha Mack.
487
00:16:51,144 --> 00:16:52,314
Tasha... Mack.
488
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:54,275
Look at all this
fire and desire.
489
00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:56,054
Okay, you know what?
490
00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:57,553
I'm burning up, baby.
491
00:16:57,584 --> 00:17:00,054
So what you gonna
do about it? Hmm?
492
00:17:00,087 --> 00:17:01,387
Uh, uh, um...
493
00:17:01,421 --> 00:17:03,561
my toe's been
in your mouth.
494
00:17:03,590 --> 00:17:04,790
Oh.
495
00:17:04,824 --> 00:17:06,794
I'm gonna go
brush my teeth. Yeah.
496
00:17:06,826 --> 00:17:08,396
(laughing)
497
00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:09,658
And rinse.
498
00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:10,795
Ooh!
499
00:17:10,829 --> 00:17:12,599
Ooh! (growls)
500
00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:15,072
(mellow pop music plays)
501
00:17:17,470 --> 00:17:19,470
(door closes)
502
00:17:23,109 --> 00:17:26,649
* It's a sad reality
503
00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:29,579
* When the one you love
504
00:17:29,616 --> 00:17:33,446
* Is gone and all the things
505
00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:36,656
* That always
kept you holding on *
506
00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:38,589
* Are now memories...
507
00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:40,225
Hey, Kel.
508
00:17:41,228 --> 00:17:43,358
What the hell is wrong with you?
509
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,626
Have you completely
lost your mind?
510
00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:47,795
You could have hurt somebody,
you could have been arrested,
511
00:17:47,834 --> 00:17:49,874
not to mention you
completely dis... The car's out...
512
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,272
the car's outside.
513
00:17:51,304 --> 00:17:52,514
Okay?
514
00:17:52,539 --> 00:17:54,339
(sets keys down)
515
00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:56,114
That's all you got?
516
00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:02,652
Tell your, uh, your friend
that I said I'm sorry.
517
00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:03,752
And that
I'm keeping
518
00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:05,223
his Bon Jovi CDs.
519
00:18:05,252 --> 00:18:08,162
And, um, you're out of gas.
520
00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:11,456
How did it get this far, Jason?
521
00:18:14,161 --> 00:18:16,161
Look, Kelly, um...
522
00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:20,268
I'm having a really...
523
00:18:20,300 --> 00:18:22,700
really hard time let...
letting you go.
524
00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:27,337
Yeah, well,
this is hard for me, too.
525
00:18:27,374 --> 00:18:28,314
Is it?
526
00:18:28,341 --> 00:18:30,211
Yes.
527
00:18:30,243 --> 00:18:33,253
I'm just trying to m...
528
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:34,810
move on.
529
00:18:37,217 --> 00:18:39,617
I just want to be happy.
530
00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:41,222
I... (sighs)
531
00:18:41,254 --> 00:18:43,924
I want you...
532
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,586
(sighs)
533
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,855
Look, as far as
the custody thing goes,
534
00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:49,734
I'm not gonna fight you
for Brittany.
535
00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:51,162
Okay?
536
00:19:03,710 --> 00:19:05,610
I'm sorry. May I?
537
00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:07,375
Of course.
538
00:19:09,716 --> 00:19:12,686
What are these,
like, two bucks a...
539
00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:14,549
Never mind.
540
00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:17,287
(sighs)
541
00:19:17,324 --> 00:19:20,864
I would never keep Brittany
from you, Jason.
542
00:19:20,893 --> 00:19:22,563
She loves you.
543
00:19:22,595 --> 00:19:23,695
I know.
544
00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:25,570
I know she does.
545
00:19:26,699 --> 00:19:28,539
And the money...
546
00:19:28,568 --> 00:19:30,438
Yeah, about that-- how
much were you thinking?
547
00:19:30,470 --> 00:19:31,970
(laughs softly)
548
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,974
Whatever you think is fair.
549
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:36,706
(laughs):
Kelly, you should probably pick a number.
550
00:19:36,743 --> 00:19:38,583
You're probably right.
Yeah, because
551
00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:40,311
I will rip you off.
552
00:19:40,347 --> 00:19:42,347
Yeah, you will.
(laughs)
553
00:19:45,352 --> 00:19:47,722
(sighs)
554
00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:51,716
All right, um...
555
00:19:51,758 --> 00:19:54,728
you want to give me a
ride back to my place,
556
00:19:54,761 --> 00:19:56,801
we can talk about
the money thing?
557
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:09,476
You know your boy peed
his pants a little bit.
558
00:20:09,509 --> 00:20:11,409
You had him by the throat.
559
00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:13,014
That's no excuse.
560
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:14,345
It's really not.
561
00:20:14,381 --> 00:20:16,351
(chuckles)
562
00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:18,393
*
563
00:20:18,443 --> 00:20:22,993
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