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1
00:00:01,468 --> 00:00:02,598
MALIK:
Mama? Mm-hmm?
2
00:00:02,636 --> 00:00:06,066
Ma... I'm fixing up
some wings.
3
00:00:06,107 --> 00:00:08,507
You get your hot
'Bama sauce in yet?
4
00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:10,042
Just came in today.
5
00:00:10,078 --> 00:00:11,308
All right! Mm!
6
00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:13,205
That's what I'm
talking about, baby!
7
00:00:15,116 --> 00:00:17,146
Ooh, extra spicy?
8
00:00:17,185 --> 00:00:19,115
Dang, Ma, that outfit is dope.
9
00:00:19,153 --> 00:00:20,053
Ah! You wearing
10
00:00:20,088 --> 00:00:21,058
one of them miracle bras?
11
00:00:21,089 --> 00:00:24,089
Now, baby, you know Mama
don't need no miracles.
12
00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:25,455
(both laughing)
13
00:00:25,493 --> 00:00:27,363
Give me one of these.
14
00:00:27,395 --> 00:00:29,755
You going on
a date with Rick?
15
00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:31,397
Not tonight.
16
00:00:31,432 --> 00:00:33,302
(clears throat)
17
00:00:33,334 --> 00:00:34,804
Hey, what's up?
18
00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:37,535
Yo, I know you
from somewhere.
19
00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:38,611
Yeah, "Sign for this."
20
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,639
"You've got a lot
of sneakers today."
21
00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:42,344
Oh, yeah, you
the delivery dude!
22
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:43,806
What's up, man?
Hey, what's happening, man?
23
00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:45,754
Claude Jenkins, man.
Pleasure to meet you.
24
00:00:45,779 --> 00:00:47,749
Claude Jenkins. You
working kind of late, ain't you, brother?
25
00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:49,381
And where your little
short shorts at?
26
00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:50,447
(both laugh)
27
00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:53,394
The only delivery I'm making
tonight is to your mama.
28
00:00:53,421 --> 00:00:56,391
You better be talking
about some sneakers.
29
00:00:56,424 --> 00:00:58,434
Uh, Claude, look, why don't
you wait for me outside.
30
00:00:58,459 --> 00:01:00,389
Let me holla
at my baby right quick.
31
00:01:00,428 --> 00:01:02,398
All right, cool, baby.
I'll be in the truck. All right.
32
00:01:02,430 --> 00:01:04,530
Yeah, Claude, go
on to the truck.
33
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:07,195
Mama, you going out in
a big-ass brown truck?
34
00:01:07,235 --> 00:01:09,135
What happened to Rick?
Did y'all break up?
35
00:01:09,170 --> 00:01:10,800
No! Look, I'm just
hedging my bet.
36
00:01:10,838 --> 00:01:12,168
I can't be all in, Malik.
37
00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:15,836
I don't want to go
through another heartbreak like I did with Coach T.
38
00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:19,446
Okay, but, Mama, come on
now, the delivery dude?
39
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:21,620
Ain't you going
to be embarrassed? Hey, look,
40
00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:23,279
Claude may not be rich,
41
00:01:23,317 --> 00:01:26,147
but he's a good man,
and he ain't going nowhere.
42
00:01:26,187 --> 00:01:27,687
Unless there's
a package to deliver.
43
00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:30,291
(laughs)
Mama, you can have any man you want,
44
00:01:30,324 --> 00:01:32,364
and he'll be proud
to be with you.
45
00:01:32,393 --> 00:01:33,563
I know, Malik,
46
00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:35,664
but I'm still going
to go out with Claude.
47
00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:37,666
Look, he thinks
I'm too good for him,
48
00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:38,868
and I appreciate that.
49
00:01:38,899 --> 00:01:39,869
All right?
50
00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:41,140
And besides, look,
51
00:01:41,169 --> 00:01:42,739
I need me some
fallback plans, okay?
52
00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:44,510
I can't just be all in.
53
00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:46,868
Hell, I'd be a damn fool
if I didn't protect myself.
54
00:01:46,907 --> 00:01:48,537
Cause what,
I'm dating Rick Fox?
55
00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:49,776
Rick... Fox?
56
00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:50,780
And you know that
57
00:01:50,811 --> 00:01:52,481
can go sideways
in a hot minute.
58
00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:53,653
(truck engine starts)
59
00:01:53,681 --> 00:01:55,381
Ooh, that's my ride.
60
00:01:56,417 --> 00:01:58,717
Mama got to bounce!
61
00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:00,752
*
62
00:02:09,297 --> 00:02:11,797
I can't believe I went
on a paper napkin date in a damn truck.
63
00:02:11,832 --> 00:02:13,332
Why you heifers
didn't stop me?
64
00:02:13,367 --> 00:02:15,237
Um, hello? We tried,
65
00:02:15,269 --> 00:02:17,539
but you said men in uniforms
turned you on.
66
00:02:17,571 --> 00:02:20,741
Are short shorts
really a uniform?
67
00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:22,644
Mm. They are
at Hot Dog on a Stick.
68
00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:25,406
(laughing)
(mocking laugh)
69
00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:29,176
Oh, go on, laugh it up, you
bootleg Queens of Comedy.
70
00:02:29,217 --> 00:02:30,447
Look, I got to go.
71
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,294
I have a busy night ahead.
72
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:34,320
You did not
double-book us!
73
00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:36,415
Correction: triple-book.
74
00:02:36,457 --> 00:02:38,487
I've got cocktails
with you guys;
75
00:02:38,526 --> 00:02:40,686
McHottie's birthday party,
drinks and cake;
76
00:02:40,728 --> 00:02:44,498
and then I'm meeting Derwin
for desserts and board games.
77
00:02:44,532 --> 00:02:47,572
Ah, so you use us for dinner,
then you sneak off for ho'ing,
78
00:02:47,601 --> 00:02:48,971
and then some
late-night ho'ing.
79
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,872
All these labels.
80
00:02:50,904 --> 00:02:53,344
Just because a person's
dating two different guys
81
00:02:53,374 --> 00:02:55,284
doesn't make them a ho.
82
00:02:55,309 --> 00:02:56,809
Or does it, Tasha?
83
00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:58,984
Ho, we talking
about you.
84
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,282
The new Melanie doesn't
have a problem
85
00:03:01,315 --> 00:03:03,775
dating more than one guy
at a time, okay?
86
00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:05,847
The new Melanie is in control.
87
00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:08,286
The new Melanie is
running these boys.
88
00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:11,292
And the new Melanie has
to go, 'cause she's late.
89
00:03:11,325 --> 00:03:14,355
But if you guys want to come
with me to McHottie's party,
90
00:03:14,395 --> 00:03:15,925
the new Melanie would love it.
91
00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:18,933
Oh, well, tell the new Melanie
we already have some plans.
92
00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:21,296
Yeah, the old
"Kelly and Tasha
93
00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:23,965
don't flake on their
friends" kind of plans.
94
00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:25,314
Mm-hmm.
95
00:03:25,339 --> 00:03:26,669
All right, well,
then suit yourself.
96
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:28,637
The new Melanie says, "deuces."
97
00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:31,583
Look like the new
Melanie's pants
98
00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:33,012
come off kinda easy.
99
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:35,276
Yeah, I'm thinking
the new Melanie is a slut.
100
00:03:35,316 --> 00:03:37,716
(laughter)
(phone ringing)
101
00:03:41,789 --> 00:03:42,759
Hello?
102
00:03:42,790 --> 00:03:44,360
Hi, Mommy. I miss you.
103
00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:48,862
It sucks here, and it smells
like corn chips and feet.
104
00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:50,626
I'm sorry, sweetie.
105
00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:52,504
Look, I know you're mad
at your daddy,
106
00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:55,273
but it's his turn to be
with you, so you got to stay.
107
00:03:55,303 --> 00:03:57,273
But, Mommy, I...
108
00:03:57,305 --> 00:03:58,765
Sweetie, it's only one more day.
109
00:03:58,806 --> 00:04:00,966
Bye.
110
00:04:01,008 --> 00:04:02,278
Bye.
111
00:04:07,348 --> 00:04:09,478
All right,
I got your bed
112
00:04:09,517 --> 00:04:12,987
all nice and cozy,
co... zy.
113
00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:14,820
Brittany.
114
00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:17,556
(sighs)
115
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:20,990
Brit.
116
00:04:21,028 --> 00:04:22,498
Brit-Brat.
117
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:26,799
Let's-let's do something.
118
00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:29,404
Oh, want to make
a four-cheese pizza?
119
00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:31,307
Mommy says
that stuff's bad for me.
120
00:04:31,339 --> 00:04:33,039
My hips will spread
and I'll be forced
121
00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:34,043
to wear elastic waist pants.
122
00:04:34,074 --> 00:04:35,644
Oh, she's right. It's true.
123
00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:38,006
Okay... Ooh, how about
I let you stay up late?
124
00:04:38,045 --> 00:04:40,675
You can watch
your favorite show, Mad Money.
125
00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:43,084
It's not my favorite show.
It's yours. Come on, Brittany.
126
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,046
There's got to be
something you want to do.
127
00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:48,655
I don't want to do anything
with you, ¿comprende?
128
00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:51,659
Oh, okay. Oh, you're going to
sass me in a foreign language?
129
00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:54,802
Okay, how about this, how
about you take a time-o-out-o?
130
00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:56,898
You comprende that, señorita?
131
00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:58,470
I'm too old for time-outs.
132
00:04:58,499 --> 00:04:59,729
Not in mi casa.
133
00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:01,767
You know what? Go to your room.
134
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:04,042
I don't have a room,
and neither do you.
135
00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:06,841
Then go to your pallet.
You can't tell me what to do. You're a liar.
136
00:05:06,874 --> 00:05:08,544
You promised me you
wouldn't get a divorce.
137
00:05:08,576 --> 00:05:10,376
I hate you!
138
00:05:11,412 --> 00:05:12,982
Brittany, get...
139
00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:17,753
One, two, three!
140
00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:19,985
Happy birthday to me!
141
00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:29,400
Yeah!
142
00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:30,760
(whooping)
143
00:05:30,798 --> 00:05:32,468
(people clapping)
144
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:37,468
Oh, God. I'm on call.
145
00:05:37,505 --> 00:05:39,365
I think I'm going to go.
146
00:05:39,407 --> 00:05:40,367
What?
147
00:05:40,408 --> 00:05:42,878
I think I'm going to go.
148
00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:45,480
No, no, you can't go.
This is my birthday.
149
00:05:45,513 --> 00:05:47,483
I haven't got my
birthday present yet.
150
00:05:47,515 --> 00:05:48,945
Okay.
151
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,715
There, happy birthday.
152
00:05:53,754 --> 00:05:56,724
Sorry it wasn't wrapped.
(clicking tongue)
153
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,425
(hip-hop playing)
154
00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:06,468
Hey. What are you guys
155
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:07,740
doing here?
156
00:06:07,768 --> 00:06:08,898
Uh, Tasha's boring.
157
00:06:08,936 --> 00:06:10,636
I'm not boring, bitch.
I'll kill you.
158
00:06:10,671 --> 00:06:12,471
Third time tonight
she's threatened me.
159
00:06:12,506 --> 00:06:13,806
TASHA: Okay,
you counting?
160
00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:15,181
Bitch, I'll kill you.
161
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:17,678
Well, I hate to break up
the love-fest,
162
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:19,011
but I got to go.
163
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:20,406
Date number three.
164
00:06:20,448 --> 00:06:21,678
Deuces.
165
00:06:21,715 --> 00:06:23,415
Deuces?
166
00:06:23,451 --> 00:06:24,691
I should kill her.
167
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:26,988
Come on. Let's go
get a drink. Okay.
168
00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:34,925
(giggling)
169
00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:36,162
What are you doing?
170
00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:37,466
Couldn't let you leave.
171
00:06:37,498 --> 00:06:39,628
Please, you can have
any woman in here.
172
00:06:39,667 --> 00:06:41,837
Yeah, I know, but
I only want you.
173
00:06:41,869 --> 00:06:44,469
Come on, are you gonna
make the birthday boy beg?
174
00:06:44,505 --> 00:06:45,665
(giggling)
175
00:06:45,706 --> 00:06:47,066
You are so sexy.
176
00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:48,477
Wait, wait!
What?
177
00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:50,439
This is a public
restroom, okay?
178
00:06:50,478 --> 00:06:53,008
And there are germs
everywhere, and people.
179
00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:54,846
(giggling)
180
00:06:54,882 --> 00:06:56,752
And-and-and they're
all out of toilet paper.
181
00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:58,754
Since when do you care
what people think?
182
00:06:58,786 --> 00:07:00,516
I don't. I just
thought somebody
183
00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:03,494
might really have to go.
184
00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:05,064
Oh, God!
185
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,063
I am proud
of new Melanie.
186
00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:13,468
You can learn a thing
or two from her, old Tasha.
187
00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:15,471
TASHA:
Bitch! Ow!
188
00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:20,112
What is Rick doing here?!
189
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:21,170
His lying ass told me
190
00:07:21,208 --> 00:07:24,038
he was going to John Mayer's
house to play Jenga.
191
00:07:24,077 --> 00:07:25,707
You know them
sneaky-ass Canadians
192
00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:27,546
got to all stick together.
Do you want me
193
00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:29,581
to hold your earrings so
you can 'cause a scene?
194
00:07:29,617 --> 00:07:32,247
No! Girl, please,
I'm cool.
195
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:35,215
See, this is why
I went out with Claude.
196
00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:36,515
(laughs):
You know what,
197
00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:37,957
I ain't even mad.
198
00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:40,531
I'm glad I got me
some fallback plans.
199
00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:42,761
Pretty Ricky don't know
who he messing with.
200
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,226
Girl, I make one
call to Pookie,
201
00:07:44,264 --> 00:07:46,474
and that bastard
gonna be history.
202
00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:50,201
(sobbing):
Oh, God!
203
00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:52,267
He's going to leave me!
204
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:53,635
He's going to leave me!
205
00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:55,714
Okay, Tasha, let's go.
Come on.
206
00:07:55,743 --> 00:08:00,153
Emergency
heartbreak! Excuse me!
207
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:03,280
Y'all just going
to have to wait. Excuse me!
208
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,586
Oh, my God, is she crying?
209
00:08:05,619 --> 00:08:06,989
Are you taking
a ho bath?
210
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:09,590
Why, Rick, why?!
211
00:08:09,623 --> 00:08:10,793
Wh-What happened?
212
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:12,664
And I'm just freshening up.
213
00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:14,163
She saw Rick out there.
214
00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:17,234
And, please, I know
toilet sex when I see it.
215
00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:19,174
God, I miss those days.
216
00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:22,699
I'm never going to be able
to have toilet sex with Rick.
217
00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:24,166
He too big anyway.
218
00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:27,174
I mean, unless we use
the handicap stall...
219
00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:28,637
and a ladder.
220
00:08:28,676 --> 00:08:30,276
(sobbing):
Oh, Lord!
221
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:32,210
I am sure there's a
perfectly good explanation
222
00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:34,545
for why he's here,
but in the off chance
223
00:08:34,582 --> 00:08:37,182
that he is seeing another woman,
it's no big deal, right?
224
00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:38,687
I mean, you're seeing
another man.
225
00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:39,989
Melanie's seeing
two people.
226
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,190
It's just the way people
roll in the double-O's.
227
00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:43,162
(gasps):
Oh, my God!
228
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:46,060
Ah! Derwin!
I got to go.
229
00:08:46,093 --> 00:08:49,803
You are not going to Derwin
reeking of McHottie. Ew!
230
00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:52,200
Derwin and I are just
gonna play board games.
231
00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:54,172
Ooh, Rick used to love
him some damn Jenga.
232
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:56,901
Sure, it starts with Jenga,
then it's strip Jenga...
233
00:08:56,937 --> 00:08:58,237
then it's just strip,
234
00:08:58,271 --> 00:09:00,671
and then the Jenga pieces
end up in places
235
00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:02,138
you don't even want to know.
236
00:09:02,175 --> 00:09:04,845
Ooh, Lord, Rick used
to love those places!
237
00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:10,148
(groans)
Brittany Olive Pitts,
238
00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:12,153
you don't come out
of there right now,
239
00:09:12,185 --> 00:09:13,645
I'm gonna break this door down.
240
00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:15,617
And risk your
security deposit?
241
00:09:15,656 --> 00:09:17,356
I don't think so.
242
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,860
(knocking "Shave and a Haircut")
243
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:22,333
Yo, J, what up, man?
It's Derwin.
244
00:09:23,363 --> 00:09:24,633
Hey, what's up,
ashy knuckles?
245
00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:26,365
Man, you have an egg timer?
246
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:28,369
Me and Melanie are
having game night.
247
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,271
Have you met me?
248
00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:33,313
All I got is a sassy
little daughter locked in the bathroom.
249
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:35,280
Oh, word?
250
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:37,378
Yo, Brit-Pitt!
251
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,080
Yo, Double-D!
252
00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:40,312
Do me a favor?
253
00:09:40,347 --> 00:09:43,347
If you see my dad,
tell him he sucks.
254
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:47,092
Yo, uh...
I'm well aware.
255
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:49,090
I am well aware.
Um, yeah,
256
00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:51,362
but me and Mel
are hav... (cell phone ringing)
257
00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:53,161
Excuse me.
258
00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:55,103
Hey, what up?
259
00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:58,098
Hey, Derwin, um, look,
I am really tired
260
00:09:58,131 --> 00:10:01,371
and I-I don't think I'm going
to be able to make it tonight.
261
00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:02,141
What?!
262
00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:04,239
Mel, this is your
only night off!
263
00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:05,841
I know, Derwin, but I'm just...
264
00:10:05,873 --> 00:10:07,683
Baby, I have been doing
everything you asked me to.
265
00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:09,708
I have been checking in.
I've been following your rules.
266
00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:11,953
You already cut Tuesday.
267
00:10:11,979 --> 00:10:13,249
Come on, Mel...
268
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,680
you promised.
269
00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:16,815
Okay, okay, Derwin, fine.
Fine, okay?
270
00:10:16,850 --> 00:10:20,690
But... I-I'm coming over,
but just for an hour, that's it.
271
00:10:20,721 --> 00:10:23,221
Okay, cool. That's what's up!
272
00:10:24,825 --> 00:10:26,425
A'ight. Big dawg,
I got to bounce, man,
273
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,029
but are you gonna be cool?
274
00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:29,231
Yeah, I'll be fine--
I'll just use
275
00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:30,362
the kitchen sink
if I got to go.
276
00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:33,267
What?! J, I know
you're not gonna leave her in there.
277
00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:34,400
What? Her mom'll
be here tomorrow.
278
00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:35,404
She's got water in there.
279
00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:36,965
Yeah, what
kind of dad...
280
00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:38,314
I'm tired of dealing with it.
281
00:10:38,338 --> 00:10:39,838
Every time I say something,
the head's moving,
282
00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:41,373
the eyes are rolling,
she's giving me backtalk.
283
00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:42,308
I feel like I'm raising Tasha.
284
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:46,307
Wow. Okay, J,
listen, man.
285
00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:49,046
she is a little
girl, all right?
286
00:10:49,082 --> 00:10:50,982
And this whole divorce
thing is scary for her.
287
00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:53,248
Bro, she's just looking to you
to show her what's up, man,
288
00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:54,116
but if you
blow her off now,
289
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,224
like she probably
thinks you did Kelly,
290
00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:58,055
then you are gonna be the
first in a long line of men
291
00:10:58,091 --> 00:10:59,261
she lets do that to her.
292
00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:01,263
Damn, man.
293
00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:02,264
Yeah.
294
00:11:02,295 --> 00:11:04,395
Thank God, I'm having a boy!
295
00:11:04,431 --> 00:11:06,271
Yeah. Well, unless he's gay.
296
00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:13,274
Yo, Rick, thanks for
meeting me here, dawg.
297
00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:15,306
Hey, no problem.
298
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:17,782
I see you got
your mom's tardiness.
299
00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:19,481
You know what, man,
leave my mama out of this.
300
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:21,852
Let me get straight
to it, Rick.
301
00:11:21,882 --> 00:11:23,922
What are your intentions
with my mother?
302
00:11:23,951 --> 00:11:25,091
Well, I...
303
00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:26,318
Yeah, whatever, man.
304
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:27,923
You need to know one thing:
she is not
305
00:11:27,955 --> 00:11:29,315
to be messed over,
do you hear me, Rick?
306
00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:31,456
Yeah. I...
Yeah, good.
307
00:11:31,491 --> 00:11:33,991
'Cause we all know you're
curly-hair pretty boy to NBA,
308
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,327
Rick Fox.
309
00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:37,802
But if you hurt my mama,
dawg, I will kill you.
310
00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:40,769
(laughs)
311
00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:42,341
Boy, you really
are Tasha's son.
312
00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:44,099
Malik...
313
00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:48,777
(chuckles)
314
00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:50,439
Malik...
315
00:11:50,477 --> 00:11:52,507
I have no intentions
of hurting your mother.
316
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,845
As a matter of fact...
317
00:11:55,983 --> 00:11:58,293
I'm in love with her.
318
00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:00,449
Oh.
319
00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:03,117
Well, in that case,
buy me a drink, dawg.
320
00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:04,486
Give me some dap, man.
321
00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:06,134
You got all this
unnecessary tension
322
00:12:06,159 --> 00:12:07,289
between us right now, man.
323
00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:09,427
Look at you.
Yeah.
324
00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:22,838
You're giving me a migraine.
325
00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:24,436
Brit-Brat...
326
00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:26,807
we got to talk.
327
00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:31,281
Come on. Brittany...
328
00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:34,520
Look...
329
00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:37,115
I'm really trying here.
330
00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:38,787
We got to...
331
00:12:38,826 --> 00:12:40,886
We got to learn
to communicate.
332
00:12:40,928 --> 00:12:44,058
Why don't you just go
talk to your girlfriend?
333
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:49,143
Is that what
this is about?
334
00:12:51,204 --> 00:12:52,274
Look, Brittany, I'm sorry
335
00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:54,805
about what happened
when you and Mommy came over.
336
00:12:54,842 --> 00:12:57,112
I'm sorry you had to see
that woman. I know...
337
00:12:57,144 --> 00:12:58,454
this must be really hard on you.
338
00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:00,508
I know there's a lot
of stuff going on
339
00:13:00,547 --> 00:13:01,207
that you don't understand,
340
00:13:01,248 --> 00:13:03,548
and to tell you
the truth,
341
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:05,453
I don't understand
it either.
342
00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:08,215
But that's why we're gonna
need each other, you know?
343
00:13:08,255 --> 00:13:10,185
So we can figure
this out together.
344
00:13:10,223 --> 00:13:13,493
I don't want you and Mommy
to break up.
345
00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:15,156
I know, baby.
346
00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:16,455
Neither do I.
347
00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:18,996
But your mom is
extremely mad
348
00:13:19,032 --> 00:13:20,972
at me right now and...
349
00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:22,541
I can't blame her.
350
00:13:22,569 --> 00:13:24,239
I mean...
351
00:13:24,271 --> 00:13:27,371
I made some big mistakes,
and I am sorry.
352
00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:29,877
Okay? You gotta
believe me.
353
00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:32,550
I'm trying really hard
to give your mom some space,
354
00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:35,179
hoping if I do that,
then she'll come back around.
355
00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:39,049
Mm, I don't know,
Mommy's a tough cookie.
356
00:13:39,086 --> 00:13:42,156
Yeah, you're right.
357
00:13:42,189 --> 00:13:44,119
How about you?
358
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:46,087
Think you might come around?
359
00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:48,896
I'd come around a lot faster
if you'd buy me something.
360
00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:49,899
(laughs)
361
00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,230
Yeah. You know what?
362
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:53,504
You'll be lucky if I buy you
anything ever again,
363
00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:54,703
after the way you acted today.
364
00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:58,614
Maybe if you bought Mommy
something, she'll take you back.
365
00:13:58,638 --> 00:14:02,878
Oh, so, the McMansion,
the cars, the food, not enough?
366
00:14:02,910 --> 00:14:04,980
Obviously not.
I'm sleeping on a pallet.
367
00:14:05,012 --> 00:14:06,182
This...
368
00:14:06,213 --> 00:14:08,453
Point taken.
369
00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:11,451
Listen, if you get
any more ideas, you tell me.
370
00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:14,254
Okay? We can work together
on this like a team.
371
00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:15,957
Deal?
372
00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:17,189
Deal.
373
00:14:18,558 --> 00:14:20,258
Bring it in.
374
00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:23,303
(electric guitar playing blues)
375
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,671
Hey, sexy.
(hiccups)
376
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:32,243
What are you doing here?
377
00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:34,572
Look, I gave you my key
for emergencies,
378
00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:36,677
not for you to be
using all willy-nilly.
379
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,379
I didn't want to
wait another second
380
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:40,011
to tell you
that I love you.
381
00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:41,607
That's bull!
382
00:14:41,648 --> 00:14:42,478
And, Rick,
383
00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:43,415
don't give me that look.
384
00:14:43,450 --> 00:14:46,220
Okay? 'Cause I saw you
at Bar Au Naturel.
385
00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:49,223
Yeah, I went to get something
to eat, then I came here.
386
00:14:49,256 --> 00:14:51,056
What, at the freaking club?!
387
00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:52,191
Come on, Rick.
388
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:54,325
You were there
to pick up girls.
389
00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:55,631
Huh? Oh, admit it.
390
00:14:55,662 --> 00:14:58,532
'Cause you're Rick
freaking Fox, right?
391
00:14:58,565 --> 00:15:00,965
You know what? Fine.
392
00:15:01,001 --> 00:15:02,641
I went to meet Malik.
393
00:15:02,669 --> 00:15:04,599
Malik who?
394
00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:06,537
Malik. Your son.
395
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:09,213
That's it.
396
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,442
Call him.
397
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:13,975
Damn right I'm gonna call him.
398
00:15:14,014 --> 00:15:15,384
You gonna lie!
399
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:18,285
Hell, I've been lying
since I was two years old.
400
00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:20,518
What the hell
you talking about?
401
00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:27,658
(phone ringing)
402
00:15:28,996 --> 00:15:29,956
Talk to me.
403
00:15:29,997 --> 00:15:31,297
Malik,
404
00:15:31,331 --> 00:15:33,371
were you at Bar Au Naturel
tonight with Rick?
405
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:34,370
Yeah, Ma.
406
00:15:34,401 --> 00:15:35,701
I asked him to meet me there.
407
00:15:35,735 --> 00:15:38,305
We had a little talk about you.
408
00:15:38,338 --> 00:15:40,168
Will you stop sucking
on them damn wings
409
00:15:40,207 --> 00:15:42,577
and tell me why you all
up in my damn business?
410
00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:44,309
Mom, I talked to Rick
because I love you
411
00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:46,584
and I don't want you to
get hurt, and I don't want you
412
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:48,123
in the back of no more
delivery trucks, now.
413
00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:49,618
Okay?
414
00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:51,319
Rick's a good one.
He said he loved you.
415
00:15:52,719 --> 00:15:54,749
For real?
416
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:57,317
Yeah. That's what he told me.
417
00:15:57,357 --> 00:15:58,527
He did?
418
00:15:58,558 --> 00:16:00,328
Yeah, that's what he said, Ma.
419
00:16:01,561 --> 00:16:03,331
And I think
he's telling the truth.
420
00:16:03,363 --> 00:16:04,733
Now, don't blow this,
okay, Mama?
421
00:16:04,764 --> 00:16:07,574
This is Rick Fox-- Rick Fox.
422
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,000
Okay, okay, I
won't, baby.
423
00:16:10,037 --> 00:16:11,367
Ooh.
424
00:16:11,404 --> 00:16:13,514
(whispers):
Call Pookie. Tell him it's off.
425
00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:14,440
What?!
426
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:15,444
Just do it!
427
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:16,705
Wh-What are you talking about?
428
00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:19,413
Just hurry up, okay? Tell him he
can just keep the upfront money.
429
00:16:22,082 --> 00:16:24,122
Rick, look,
430
00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:26,621
all of this,
all this is new to me,
431
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:29,593
but, uh, look, I just been
through so much mess with men...
432
00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:31,692
Tasha, come here,
come here, come here.
433
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:35,234
Look... enough.
434
00:16:35,262 --> 00:16:38,232
Look, I'm not all
those other men, okay?
435
00:16:38,265 --> 00:16:41,695
I'm your man.
436
00:16:41,734 --> 00:16:44,274
And I love you.
437
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:48,008
I love you, too, Daddy.
438
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:55,216
Ah! I win!
439
00:16:55,248 --> 00:16:56,248
Damn!
Ha-ha!
440
00:16:56,283 --> 00:16:58,493
Come on, Derwin, for a
three-minute word game,
441
00:16:58,518 --> 00:16:59,748
this is taking hours.
442
00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:02,716
(sighs):
Baby, that's what happens when you don't have a timer.
443
00:17:02,755 --> 00:17:05,625
Come on, let's go
one more. I'll beat... No, Derwin, I can't.
444
00:17:05,657 --> 00:17:08,357
I mean, it's late, and I
have class in the morning.
445
00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:10,295
But I'm glad I came.
It was fun.
446
00:17:10,329 --> 00:17:12,729
Whoa! Wh... Mel,
hold, hold on.
447
00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:14,265
I got something for you.
448
00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:17,740
Okay. You remember...
back at school,
449
00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:20,840
we used to always be
at Ernie's on Beaver Street?
450
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:22,143
Are you kidding me?
Mm-hmm.
451
00:17:22,175 --> 00:17:23,375
They had, like, the best
452
00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:25,210
cheesesteak sandwiches
in the world.
453
00:17:25,244 --> 00:17:27,654
I know, they were
so good. Bam!
454
00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:28,720
Oh, my God.
455
00:17:28,748 --> 00:17:29,748
It is not!
456
00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:30,852
Oh, baby, it is!
457
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,623
Just like you like it.
458
00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:33,852
Happy anniversary.
459
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:34,846
What?
460
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,717
Anniversary?
461
00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:38,286
Yeah, y-you remember?
462
00:17:38,325 --> 00:17:41,485
It was November 28, 2002,
pouring rain.
463
00:17:41,528 --> 00:17:43,198
You and I had just
finished studying.
464
00:17:43,230 --> 00:17:45,730
We walked over to Ernie's
to get something to eat,
465
00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:48,735
and we got stuck there till,
like, 3:00 in the morning.
466
00:17:48,768 --> 00:17:51,238
(chuckles):
And then we went back to your dorm room.
467
00:17:51,271 --> 00:17:52,811
Both of us were soaking wet.
468
00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:54,009
You started to take
off your sweatshirt,
469
00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:57,410
and I said I'd step outside,
and you said I didn't have to.
470
00:17:57,444 --> 00:18:00,754
And that's when I was,
like, "Aw, sooky, sooky!"
471
00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:04,420
You remembered our sex-iversary?
472
00:18:04,451 --> 00:18:05,491
Yeah, Mel.
473
00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:07,388
The first time
we ever did it.
474
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,590
(laughs):
Oh, my God.
475
00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:11,862
Derwin, I can't believe you.
476
00:18:11,891 --> 00:18:14,391
Oh, yeah. Believe this.
477
00:18:17,164 --> 00:18:18,134
Oh, yes.
478
00:18:18,165 --> 00:18:19,325
(laughs)
479
00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:21,626
Oh... glow-in-the-dark condoms.
480
00:18:21,668 --> 00:18:22,638
Hell, yeah.
481
00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:24,699
We stole them from your
roommate, remember?
482
00:18:24,737 --> 00:18:28,277
Yeah and nine months later,
she named her baby after me.
483
00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:29,408
Wow.
484
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:30,612
Man.
485
00:18:30,643 --> 00:18:32,813
You know, Mel, I know
we can't go back,
486
00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:35,515
but I thought we could at
least visit for a minute.
487
00:18:37,517 --> 00:18:40,347
(voice breaking):
Oh, Derwin.
488
00:18:40,387 --> 00:18:41,687
(laughs):
God.
489
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:53,799
Wait, wait, wait, Derwin.
490
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:56,243
I don't want to confuse
this moment with sex.
491
00:18:56,269 --> 00:18:58,669
I promise you, Mel, there
is no confusion on my part.
492
00:18:59,972 --> 00:19:01,242
Baby...
493
00:19:01,274 --> 00:19:02,744
I love you so much.
494
00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:04,875
You have no idea
how much I missed you.
495
00:19:04,911 --> 00:19:07,851
(both moaning)
496
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,850
Wait, wait.
Derwin, can we What?
497
00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:11,782
at least do this
in the shower? Baby,
498
00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:13,488
I am gonna loofa
you so good.
499
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:14,490
Okay.
500
00:19:14,521 --> 00:19:15,491
(both moaning)
501
00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:16,662
I can't!
502
00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:17,819
What? Baby, don't fight
it-- it's stronger
503
00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:19,187
than both of us.
No, Derwin,
504
00:19:19,226 --> 00:19:20,786
I can't do this,
because I love you.
505
00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:22,857
And I love you, too,
Mel, but... No, Derwin,
506
00:19:22,895 --> 00:19:24,795
put me down, okay?
Put me down! Why? I mean...
507
00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,571
Ow, Mel! Damn!
508
00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:28,639
You don't have to bite me.
What's wrong?
509
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:29,938
Derwin, I'm sorry.
510
00:19:29,969 --> 00:19:31,439
Okay? I'm sorry. I just...
511
00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:33,911
I don't want to rush into
this because we're all...
512
00:19:33,940 --> 00:19:36,210
hyped over Philly cheese.
513
00:19:36,243 --> 00:19:37,583
Wh-Wha...
514
00:19:37,610 --> 00:19:39,510
(laughs):
Melanie, what are you talking about?
515
00:19:39,546 --> 00:19:40,706
Derwin, it's-it's...
516
00:19:40,747 --> 00:19:43,877
it's been a long night, okay,
and I'm just, I'm overwhelmed.
517
00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:45,446
I'm overwhelmed
about everything,
518
00:19:45,485 --> 00:19:46,685
everything that's happened.
519
00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:47,849
I'm just...
Yeah, no, no, no.
520
00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:49,787
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
Yeah, yeah.
521
00:19:49,822 --> 00:19:51,792
Baby, I'm sorry,
I-I got carried away, okay?
522
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:53,894
I know we started doing
the whole checking-in thing
523
00:19:53,926 --> 00:19:56,696
and... damn,
here I am pressuring you.
524
00:19:56,729 --> 00:19:58,969
I'm sorry.
525
00:19:58,998 --> 00:20:00,698
I'll just...
I'll just keep checking in.
526
00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:01,673
Will you forgive me?
527
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:03,571
Just... just tell me
you forgive me, please?
528
00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:05,673
No, yeah.
Yeah, I forgive you.
529
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:07,635
(whispers):
Okay. Yeah.
530
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,508
Thanks for understanding,
Derwin.
531
00:20:10,543 --> 00:20:12,583
Yeah, Mel, baby,
whatever you want.
532
00:20:15,982 --> 00:20:18,522
I am so sorry.
533
00:20:18,572 --> 00:20:23,122
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