Original subtitles

Coffee for your cream, sir?

Um...

Actually, I prefer my cream black, but thank you.

Oh, God.

(laughs) Oh, God, I am

so sorry, uh...

I meant to say, um, "cream for your coffee."

It's okay, I speak multitasking.

(both chuckling)

Um... okay, well, let's start over.

My name is Melanie, and I'll be your waitress.

Today's specials are...

smothered pork chops, grilled bacon on white,

and deep-fried ham.

Mm-hmm.

Any of those tickle your fancy?

I'm not really sure.

What do you recommend?

Well, if you order any of those... probably a casket.

(both laughing)

Well, how about just another cup of coffee, then?

But you haven't even touched this one.

I know. The second one's for you.

'Cause it seems to me

you could really use a break from all that studying.

Oh, um...

Okay, well, um...

Yeah, I guess I haven't quite

figured out the balance between medical school

and this new job.

You don't have to explain anything to me.

I mean, I spent my entire college career

juggling things.

Really? Yeah.

Well, where'd you go?

Clown college.

No, I went to UCLA.

Oh, so you really did go to clown college, then.

Oh, you got jokes, okay.

Um...

So,

what is it that you do, Mister... Bruin?

Actually, it's Jerome Rice, but my friends call me Jerry.

Oh, how cute.

Like Jerry Rice the football player?

Um... Oh, God.

You're not a football player, are you?

No! No, I'm a, I'm a marketing exec.

But you have such great arms.

For a, uh, marketing exec.

Right.

(both laughing)

Listen, um...

(clears throat)

If you have any free time in your schedule, I would love

to take you out for a cup of cream.

Maybe get some coffee on the side.

Um...

Yeah, uh...

I'd like that.

But promise me you'll take me

to a place with better service.

The waitresses here suck.

So does your cream.

Yeah.

(door closes)

* All that I wanna do...

Hey, Dee.

Onne.

Dionne.

All right, so how was your date?

Great. Good.

Awesome.

Romantic.

Good. (phone ringing)

Oh, my God, it's him!

(both squealing)

Oh, he wants to go out again.

Happy face!

(phone beeps)

(clears throat)

Oh, God.

What?

He wants to go to a Saber game.

Sad face.

Oh... You know, I knew

this was too good to be true.

Melanie,

please do not tell me that this is about Derwin.

Look, you live in San Diego.

If you're gonna date, you're gonna go to a Saber game

or Sea World.

So you don't think he's gonna be a little weirded out

that I used to date Derwin?

I don't think he needs your dating history.

It's your second date.

Do you have genital warts?

No.

Then you're cool.

That's why you're still in the mail room, mail guy!

(scoffs)

(buzzing)

Girl, you're not gonna believe this.

What happened?

I just got a call from Cost Low,

and they're looking for a Saber

to launch their new eco-friendly campaign.

I plan on getting the deal for Malik.

Tasha, when are you going to accept the fact

that you don't work for Malik anymore?

But this could change all of that.

An endorsement deal this huge

could help Malik clean up his image,

and it could give him a salary big enough

so I can get him back as a client.

How big we talking?

Mm, big enough for me to nab

a few other marquee names around here

so you and me can be up and out.

Mm, I like that.

The marquees.

Mm-hmm.

Maybe you can start with Marquis Johnson.

What's wrong?

You look bothered.

Oh, um, it's nothing.

I'm just-- I-I didn't know we were going into a skybox.

Yeah, I just want to do it right for you.

Hook it up.

Well, I, I appreciate that.

It's just that I'm not really...

dressed up for a skybox.

This is more of a bleachers outfit.

Girl, you look great.

Please, come on. My colleagues are

gonna be so impressed with that smile,

they won't even notice what you're wearing.

Come on.

What, colleagues?

Yeah, Cost Low is one of my clients.

Thus, the VIP skybox.

Relax, you're gonna have a great time.

Okay?

You know what?

You're right. I mean, what am I stressing about?

This is gonna be fun.

TASHA: Med School!

Hey!

Med School!

Med School...

I know you hear me calling you.

Is that woman talking to you?

Oh, no, no, she's probably talking

about that Asian woman over there.

Wait a minute.

Did she just go in the Cost Low box?

With the Cost Low execs?

That is the box that we need to be in

to work our magic.

For Malik, of course.

Hey, Leroy.

(laughs) Good evening, Ms. Mack.

Mrs. Pitts.

How's the wife, kids?

Cool, cool.

Parole officer?

You know, chillin'.

(all laughing)

Well, you know, baby, it's always good seeing you, Leroy.

Whoa, oh, oh, oh, ladies.

I'm gonna need to see your tickets.

What? Leroy, you tripping.

Come on, you know us.

Tasha, Kelly. (laughing): Yeah.

I'm sorry, Ms. Mack, but rules is rules.

Okay, well,

where were those rules

when you robbed that liquor store?

Fine.

Here.

(clears throat)

You mind moving your thumb, Ms. Mack?

Yeah.

It's what I thought.

Your skybox... over there.

Thanks a lot, Leroy.

That's the last time I'm gonna testify for your ass in court.

Hey, yo.

You're not gonna believe who's in the Cost Low skybox.

Davis' girl, and she's with a dude.

And it ain't Davis.

(chanting): Ah! Ah! Ooh! Ooh!

Ah! Ah! Ooh! Ooh!

Ah! Ah! Ooh! Ooh!

Ah! Ah! Ooh! Ooh!

Ah! Ah! Ooh! Ooh! Ah! Ah!

(yelling)

And it wasn't Davis with her.

Word is they were all over each other,

but you didn't hear it from me.

Wow. That's gonna hurt if he finds out.

You okay, man?

Yeah, I'm fine. Why?

You know, I just thought you might be tripping,

with your girl chilling out

with that suit in the Cost Low box.

My girl?

You talking about Melanie?

Yeah.

But you're making all that money.

You ain't tripping, right, dawg?

Yeah, man. On her?

I make way too much money to be tripping.

See, and everybody thought you'd be bugging out.

I knew you'd be straight.

Yeah, you know me, son.

If I was any straighter, I'd be gay.

Uh...

All right, then. You, you have a great game, bro.

You had no idea, did you?

Huh, huh?

Yeah, man, I knew.

I was born knowing.

I had no idea.

Boy, you are two minutes away

from running down that breezeway to war!

People die out there!

That's right. This is your Braveheart moment.

This is Sparta!

This is more than Sparta.

This is Rudy!

What? That dude had heart.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, I like where your head's at, man.

That's my movie.

It's a good movie. I cried. I love Rudy.

Listen to me, listen to me,

listen to me, I want you to get out there.

I want you to show Melanie exactly what she's missing!

Whoo! Whoo!

Whoo! Whoo!

Whoo!

Whoo!

Whoo.

(distorting voice): Uh, attention, Leroy.

Leroy the security officer.

You have a, a...

personal call in the security office.

(clearing throat)

I'm covering the skybox.

It's your parole officer, baby.

I'm on my way.

Thank you so much, Quintessa. Now, look.

You take that little fuzzy lip of yours

down to Lady D's House of Wax,

you tell them Tasha Mack sent you.

I got you covered once a month for a year.

Twice around the holidays, 'cause they special.

Okay?

Um... excuse me, Jerome.

Look, you do not know me.

What? Bitch, please!

Shh! God.

I'm on a date.

He doesn't know about my past,

and I just want to start fresh with this guy.

No Derwin.

No Sunbeams, no Sabers.

Then why would you come to a Saber game?

(laughs)

Stupid.

You know what? You're right.

I mean, what am I doing here?

Maybe I should leave.

I should just go to Sea World and have a fish sandwich.

No. Stay here and enjoy your date.

We'll just pretend like we don't know you.

Sweetie, you've got to stop making excuses,

or you're gonna end up alone and bitter...

like poor old alone and bitter Tasha.

(stammers): Uh, uh, Kelly,

I love you, but I will kill you, okay?

You know what? You're right.

I just need to just relax and just... enjoy myself.

All right,

I got to go. Have fun...

young black girl I've never met before.

Mr. and Mrs. Henry,

I'd like you both to meet a very special lady,

Melanie Barnett.

Really?

Special?

Oh, wow. Okay.

She's gorgeous, Jerome.

Absolutely.

MRS. HENRY: You know,

I remember when the two of us first started dating.

He took me to a football game, too.

After that, we were inseparable.

Mr. Henry's the V.P. of Cost Low's green campaign.

That man's a genius.

Jerry, you stop-- you're just saying that.

Well, I'm saying it 'cause it's true.

And because you're the client.

Melanie, would you mind keeping my wife company

while I steal Jerry away for a second?

Um, no, not at all.

(quietly): Make me look good, baby.

Mm, that Jerome is something else, isn't he?

I certainly hope you're with him for the right reasons.

Oh, no, no, no, uh, Jerome and I,

we're not together. So many

of these girls out here are just hoping for hemp,

hybrids and halogen lights.

Is there a problem?

No. No, um...

just a little déjà vu.

Well, you know, since you two have started dating,

you're part of the Cost Low family now,

and a lot of us wives and girlfriends get together

once a week, and we organize social events.

You should join us.

Oh, I don't know, I mean, this is only our second date.

Oh, it doesn't matter.

It'll be fun.

And since you're the new girl, you get to bring the wine.

No, I can't bring the wine!

Okay? And I, and I can't join

your Sunbeam.

I mean, social group.

As a matter of fact,

I don't think I can do any of this again.

Hey, what's wrong?

You know, I probably should've just come right out

and said something when we got here,

but I didn't know how you'd feel.

Feel about what? Talk to me.

I just got out of a relationship

a few months ago,

and, um...

my ex-boyfriend is Derwin Davis.

Who?

He's a Saber.

Oh, okay. Cool.

What, did you... you thought I would trip?

No, look, it's not about you and him, okay?

It's about me and him.

I'm trying to put my past behind me,

but I keep on crashing into it.

Well, why didn't you just tell me?

I never would've brought you here.

We could've had fish sandwiches at Sea World.

Yeah, and if we had, I'd remember the time

Derwin won me a stuffed Shamu.

And if we had gone to the Wild Animal Park,

I'd remember when Derwin and I

fed the giraffes.

And if we had gone to Tijuana, I'd...

Well, I can't remember what Derwin and I did there,

but it must've been fun, because I threw up a worm.

Wow, and you seemed so normal on our first date.

You know, I probably shouldn't have started dating yet.

I'm just not ready to jump

right back into a relationship.

A relationshi-- whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey.

We had one date, babe,

and I don't know if you noticed,

but the second one's turning out to be... not so great.

Oh. Oh, well...

I guess I thought, you know, the, uh, the VIP skybox,

I mean, meeting your clients...

(chuckles)

"Make me look good, baby."

Well, yeah, I-I just wanted to show you a good time

and score some points with my boss maybe.

That's about it.

Oh.

(awkward chuckle)

'Kay, um...

I'm embarrassed.

Don't be.

Look, I've only been

in one serious relationship, and...

Hey, listen.

Let's not worry about the past.

Or the future.

Let's just concentrate on the now.

Okay?

That sounds like a really good idea.

Good.

Let's go root for your ex-boyfriend, Knock-Knock.

Ding-Dong.

Who's there?

(laughs) Okay.

So, Mr. Henry, I cannot think of anyone else

better to represent the green campaign than my son, Malik Wright.

Tasha, I'm sorry, I don't mean to interrupt.

But, uh, you know, I can't remember,

does Malik still drive that Ferrari with the after-market jet engine?

Because I think I saw one for sale

at this place where Jason-- Jason Pitts, my husband--

bought his practical, cost-efficient,

environmentally safe Prius.

Just curious.

(TV crowd roars, people whooping)

TV ANNOUNCER: Oh, and the Sabers take home the win,

with three touchdowns from Derwin Davis!

What a day for the young receiver!

On behalf of upper-level management,

I'd like to invite you all down to the breezeway

to meet the Sabers!

Free autographs for everyone!

I got to go with them-- I ate all their free-range chicken wings--

but I-I totally understand if you don't want to.

No, no, it's, it's okay, Jerome.

We agreed to live in the moment. Right?

Right.

Uh, was that living in the moment?

No. That was just getting the awkward moment

at the end of the date out of the way.

Baby steps.

Baby steps.

MELANIE: Yeah.

Uh-uh-uh, Judas.

What the hell was that?

You trying to take the green campaign away from Malik?

(gasps): Tasha! I'm insulted.

I would never do something like that.

Save the acting for the bedroom, Kelly Pitts.

Unlike Jason, I know when you're faking.

Look, Jason has just as much right

to that endorsement deal as Malik.

Let the execs decide who's right for the campaign.

I gave you that information as a friend!

You know how bad I need this deal to get Malik back as a client.

Tasha, I'm sorry, really.

Jason and I are going through some personal issues right now,

and we need this deal just as bad as you.

What kind of issues?

Things that I can't explain to you right now.

But trust me, I would never do anything

intentionally to hurt you.

This is just business.

It's nothing personal.

All right, then...

Grasshopper...

you think you can beat

Tasha Mack?

Then let's go.

May the best bitch win.

Malik. Malik.

Excuse me.

All right, you see those guys right there?

Those are some of the executives

from Cost Low who want to meet you

and discuss signing you as their new spokesperson.

Okay, Ma, it's okay, we're cool.

You're not my manager anymore.

Look, I know, I know, I'm just trying to better myself

as a manager so I can get you back as a client.

Okay, cool. All right. Now, it won't hurt

to play up the environmental talk, all right?

Gentlemen, this is my son, Malik Wright,

full-time professional football player,

part-time global activist.

Nice to meet you gentlemen.

And, in the words of someone famous,

"It ain't easy bein' green!" Ha-ha!

You feel me? Are you with me?

You feel me, don't you?

Huh? Yeah, you feel me. Look at you. Come on.

I remember you.

You were the one who punched the guy in the wheelchair.

My son's in a wheelchair.

Jason Pitts! (laughs)

Heard all about you and that Prius, right?

Ma, I told you, I got my own representation.

Don't do this again, please.

Tasha.

I'm sorry. No, uh-uh-uh.

You won.

(sighs) MAN: Davis,

tonight you played with a fire that we've never seen before.

What was the inspiration?

Well, Mel, we want our championship,

and I gu...

(loudly): I guess... I guess it's just knowing

that there's some player out there

always watching you, trying to take

your, uh, position, you know?

So I wanted to make sure when I went on that field today

that I represented.

Let them know that, uh, they got a hard act to follow.

There it is. Hey, that's great, man.

Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you.

Hey, Derwin.

Um, I'd like you to meet my...

my, um...

Her friend.

Yeah. (laughs) Jerome Wright.

It's a pleasure to meet you. Great game, man.

Nice to meet you, too-- and thanks.

Uh, listen, Mel,

I want to go holler at my clients for a minute, but, uh,

it's nice to meet you, Derwin.

You, too, bro.

(clears throat): Well, he seems nice.

Yeah, he is.

I mean, we just started hanging out, but... Hey, Mel,

come on, it's cool-- you don't owe me an explanation.

Right.

Well, um, I...

I guess I should get going, then.

Okay. Okay.

Hey. Hmm?

Great game, Derwin.

(quietly): Yeah.

You, too.

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