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1
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DIRECTOR:
Action.
2
00:00:02,070 --> 00:00:03,070
The father.
3
00:00:03,104 --> 00:00:04,414
The son.
4
00:00:04,438 --> 00:00:05,768
Cut.
That was garbage.
5
00:00:05,806 --> 00:00:08,136
I've got to go again.
That wasn't natural.
6
00:00:08,176 --> 00:00:10,076
Okay, let's go again.
7
00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:12,381
But let's just... this time,
just keep going, all right?
8
00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:13,583
Just go right straight through.
9
00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:15,384
Don't stop until I yell "cut,"
you understand?
10
00:00:15,416 --> 00:00:16,716
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay.
11
00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:17,720
Thank you.
12
00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:19,821
And... action.
13
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:22,193
The father.
14
00:00:22,223 --> 00:00:23,593
The son.
15
00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:25,494
Excuse me, dude.
Can you say "cut"?
16
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,456
Cut.
Jason, what's the problem?
17
00:00:27,495 --> 00:00:28,755
I'm not... I'm not...
18
00:00:28,796 --> 00:00:30,356
I'm not feeling
very fatherly.
19
00:00:30,398 --> 00:00:31,668
Let me give you
three choices.
20
00:00:31,699 --> 00:00:33,129
You tell me what
plays, okay?
21
00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:34,597
(clears throat):
Here they come.
22
00:00:34,635 --> 00:00:37,205
The father.
23
00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:39,709
The father.
24
00:00:41,242 --> 00:00:43,642
The father.
25
00:00:43,677 --> 00:00:46,207
Hmm.
Second one.
26
00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:47,117
The second one-- thank you.
That's all I'm
27
00:00:47,148 --> 00:00:47,818
looking for, man--
a little direction.
28
00:00:47,848 --> 00:00:50,478
Okay, you got it.
This guy.
29
00:00:50,518 --> 00:00:52,148
Let's shoot this.
All right, everybody ready?
30
00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:53,216
Let's go.
31
00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:55,324
And... action.
32
00:00:55,356 --> 00:00:57,786
The father.
33
00:00:57,825 --> 00:00:59,685
The son.
34
00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:02,127
And Malik Wright,
aka Holy Ghost.
35
00:01:02,163 --> 00:01:04,273
Holler if you're holy, y'all.
36
00:01:04,298 --> 00:01:04,928
Cut.
37
00:01:04,965 --> 00:01:06,695
Malik, we've got cue cards.
38
00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:09,244
Done in finger paint
just for you.
39
00:01:09,270 --> 00:01:10,640
Okay, look, homey.
40
00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:12,211
We're trying to sell
these damn trucks.
41
00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:14,580
Do you want us to sell
these trucks or not?
42
00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:17,278
Okay, well, what I want
is I just want the lines said
43
00:01:17,311 --> 00:01:18,681
straight through.
That's all I want.
44
00:01:20,281 --> 00:01:21,721
And... action.
45
00:01:21,749 --> 00:01:23,649
The father.
46
00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:25,194
The son.
47
00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:28,289
Y el Espiritu Santo.
48
00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:32,488
We are the Holy Trinity,
49
00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:34,556
but there's just one
GMC Yukon Denali.
50
00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:35,855
Cut!
51
00:01:35,896 --> 00:01:37,666
Look, let's just take
a hard five, everybody.
52
00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:39,698
All right?
Hard five.
53
00:01:39,733 --> 00:01:41,203
That was it?
That was all?
54
00:01:41,235 --> 00:01:42,265
DIRECTOR:
Find me a vodka drip, please.
55
00:01:42,303 --> 00:01:43,203
You got it, baby.
56
00:01:45,639 --> 00:01:46,669
Good looking out, Malik.
57
00:01:46,707 --> 00:01:48,207
Shout out to our
little Latino friends,
58
00:01:48,242 --> 00:01:49,312
getting them on board.
59
00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:50,683
Yeah, that's the
least I could do
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00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:51,881
for taking all
their women, Ma.
61
00:01:53,381 --> 00:01:56,451
(singsong):
You work for Derwin, not Malik.
62
00:01:56,484 --> 00:01:59,694
(singsong):
You work for me, so get out my face.
63
00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:05,855
I'm doing good, right?
64
00:02:05,893 --> 00:02:07,203
You're doing awesome, babe.
65
00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:08,328
You rock.
66
00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:09,532
You rock so hard, I...
67
00:02:09,562 --> 00:02:11,472
Kelly.
Am I selling it too hard?
68
00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:12,529
Yeah.
69
00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:14,396
Oh, Jason, I am just
so happy for you
70
00:02:14,435 --> 00:02:15,835
for getting this gig,
71
00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:17,739
for what getting
this gig means.
72
00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:19,871
No more mm-mms.
73
00:02:19,907 --> 00:02:20,867
What?
74
00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:23,178
Wah-wahs.
What?
75
00:02:23,211 --> 00:02:24,251
Steroids.
76
00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:26,208
Would you keep
your voice down, woman?
77
00:02:26,247 --> 00:02:27,617
We're not happy.
78
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:29,218
Nope, not happy at all.
79
00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:30,550
Okay, well,
what's the problem?
80
00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:31,824
It's not Malik?
(clears throat)
81
00:02:31,852 --> 00:02:32,852
Or Derwin?
82
00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:34,486
I mean, it's not
Derwin, is it?
83
00:02:34,522 --> 00:02:36,592
I-I mean, I don't know.
84
00:02:36,624 --> 00:02:38,364
It's just not working.
85
00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:39,832
Nope, not working at all.
86
00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:42,830
You know what I think of
when I think of GMC?
87
00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:46,203
Cutting-edge, stylish,
one-of-a-kind.
88
00:02:46,234 --> 00:02:47,504
Well, yeah, yeah.
89
00:02:47,535 --> 00:02:48,665
Malik is all that.
90
00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:49,972
You mean Derwin.
91
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:52,973
I said Derwin.
92
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:55,736
Look, you don't need three
people to sell something
93
00:02:55,776 --> 00:02:58,276
that's meant for one
special person, right?
94
00:02:58,312 --> 00:03:00,812
You need one special
person who is synonymous
95
00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:04,618
with everything that GMC
Yukon Denali stands for:
96
00:03:04,652 --> 00:03:07,862
cutting-edge,
one-of-a-kind.
97
00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:10,318
And that's Derwin Davis.
98
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:15,396
I was going to say
the exact same thing.
99
00:03:15,429 --> 00:03:18,669
Derwin and the GMC
Yukon: cutting-edge.
100
00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:20,829
Huh? Genius, right?
101
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:23,799
Genius.
Genius.
102
00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:25,267
Genius.
103
00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:26,636
JASON:
Ding-dong,
104
00:03:26,674 --> 00:03:28,684
sweetie, I'm going to
be honest with you.
105
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,309
You got to relax
out there, man.
106
00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:31,314
You are blowing it.
107
00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:33,475
Oh, God, yeah, man.
I meant to tell you earlier.
108
00:03:33,514 --> 00:03:35,984
Your energy is bringing
the whole damn shoot down, man.
109
00:03:36,016 --> 00:03:37,686
Get it together.
Thank you.
110
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,718
I thought I was doing
all right.
111
00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:41,723
No, you're not.
112
00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:43,755
Trust us. We're
professionals, okay?
113
00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:45,728
Malik...
Yo.
114
00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:46,789
Jason, you're out.
115
00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:47,897
What?
Congratulations, Derwin.
116
00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:49,558
You're the new face
of Denali.
117
00:03:49,597 --> 00:03:50,797
What?
118
00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:52,401
Yo.
119
00:03:52,433 --> 00:03:55,543
He just said
I'm the new face of Denali.
120
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:59,409
Oh, um, by the way,
thanks for the advice, guys.
121
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:00,910
Deuces.
122
00:04:14,455 --> 00:04:19,355
It comes equipped with
a V-8 engine and 380 horsepower.
123
00:04:19,392 --> 00:04:21,662
The most horsepower
in its class.
124
00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:23,555
(beeps)
A Bose ten-speaker system,
125
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:25,497
six-disc CD changer,
126
00:04:25,533 --> 00:04:28,743
XM radio and OnStar
127
00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:31,309
with directions
and connections plan.
128
00:04:31,339 --> 00:04:34,309
(beeps)
The GMC Yukon Denali and Derwin Davis:
129
00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:36,312
cutting edge at its finest.
130
00:04:36,344 --> 00:04:37,554
And... cut.
131
00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:39,608
(applause)
132
00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:41,347
Fantastic.
133
00:04:41,382 --> 00:04:43,452
Derwin, that was amazing.
134
00:04:43,484 --> 00:04:44,694
You made us proud, kid.
135
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:45,888
Saved the day.
136
00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:48,359
See, I told y'all.
Thanks, Tash.
137
00:04:48,389 --> 00:04:49,789
Thanks for
the opportunity, guys. Oh, no, no, no.
138
00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:50,993
Thank your publicist here.
139
00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:52,534
It was a great idea, Dionne.
140
00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:55,360
Oh, pleasure.
Thank you.
141
00:04:57,698 --> 00:04:59,598
Good job.
Thanks.
142
00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:00,903
Um, Dionne?
143
00:05:00,934 --> 00:05:04,004
Can I, uh, talk to you
for a minute?
144
00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:05,867
Sure.
145
00:05:05,906 --> 00:05:08,606
Uh, look, D, I know
we've had our issues.
146
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,082
All right?
147
00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:13,380
But, girl, you are
so good at what you do,
148
00:05:13,414 --> 00:05:16,124
and I would love it
if we could work together again.
149
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,489
You're joking, right?
150
00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:21,519
What, so you could, um,
screw me over again?
151
00:05:21,555 --> 00:05:23,355
Look, Derwin,
the only reason
152
00:05:23,391 --> 00:05:24,291
that I took this job
153
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,964
is because I pitched
you to GMC months ago,
154
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:29,934
and I'm not going to ruin
my reputation with them
155
00:05:29,963 --> 00:05:33,803
over a manipulative,
spineless, cheating bastard.
156
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,604
No, I didn't miss
one, did I?
157
00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:37,967
All right, D.
158
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,405
Okay, I...
I deserve that.
159
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:41,540
Yeah, you do.
All right,
160
00:05:41,575 --> 00:05:42,805
but I do know a couple
of your clients
161
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,983
who've left the league,
and you took Melanie in.
162
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:47,422
I mean, you mean to tell me
you couldn't use the extra cash?
163
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:50,022
Look, D,
164
00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:52,550
them Denali folks,
they just invited me
165
00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:55,086
to host their big holiday bash
in St. Bart's.
166
00:05:55,122 --> 00:05:57,462
They're flying the lad
on the G5.
167
00:05:57,491 --> 00:06:00,391
Oprah's chef, Steadman,
168
00:06:00,428 --> 00:06:01,628
onboard massages.
169
00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:02,762
Come on.
170
00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:04,996
All I'm saying is,
171
00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:07,572
I would love for my publicist
to be there with me
172
00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:10,101
so we can celebrate the dream
team getting back together.
173
00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:13,942
We are not getting
back together, Derwin.
174
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:20,911
Girl, don't let him go.
175
00:06:20,948 --> 00:06:22,018
What?
176
00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:23,479
Look, I don't
necessarily want
177
00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:25,517
to represent Derwin's
cheating ass, either.
178
00:06:25,553 --> 00:06:27,593
But business is business.
179
00:06:27,621 --> 00:06:29,521
I'm supposed to work
with him again
180
00:06:29,557 --> 00:06:30,987
after what he did
to me without...
181
00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:32,964
without so much
as an "I'm sorry."
182
00:06:32,993 --> 00:06:35,563
Oh, my God.
I'm turning into Melanie.
183
00:06:35,596 --> 00:06:36,856
Mm-hmm.
184
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:39,567
See, Med School done worked her
bougie voodoo on you, all right?
185
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,640
Look, you've got to put
all that mess behind you
186
00:06:41,669 --> 00:06:43,099
and do what
you've got to do.
187
00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:45,106
Because "sorry"
don't pay the bills.
188
00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:45,908
Trust me.
189
00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:47,739
I tried writing it
on a check once.
190
00:06:47,775 --> 00:06:49,605
They still cut
off my cable.
191
00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:53,852
Jason, I'm sorry.
192
00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:56,881
Yes, the GMC endorsement deal
was huge.
193
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,587
But it's not
the end of the world.
194
00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:00,089
There will be
other commercials.
195
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:01,560
But I want
that commercial.
196
00:07:01,589 --> 00:07:03,459
Other commercials are stupid.
197
00:07:03,491 --> 00:07:05,061
Aw, babe.
198
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:06,832
Look on the bright side.
199
00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:08,530
I don't hate you this week.
200
00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:11,602
And since it's
the holiday season,
201
00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:15,072
I'm going to rustle us up a
good, old-fashioned Christmas.
202
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:17,942
We already have
a Christmas tree.
203
00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:21,071
And I ordered that
tofurkey you like.
204
00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:22,738
On sale.
205
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,846
What part of "I'm pissed off"
don't you get, Kelly?
206
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:26,848
There will be no Christmas
this year.
207
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:29,180
A Grinch named Derwin stole it.
208
00:07:30,584 --> 00:07:33,754
Jason, with everything going on
in this house,
209
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:35,657
we need a little holiday spirit.
210
00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:36,819
We need some cheer.
211
00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:38,057
We need Santa.
212
00:07:38,091 --> 00:07:40,231
There is no
Santa, Kelly. (screaming)
213
00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:42,160
(screaming):
No Santa?
214
00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:43,755
How can you say that, Daddy?
215
00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:44,927
No, no, no, Brit-Brat,
Brit-Brat, I was...
216
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,065
I was running off
at the mouth.
217
00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:47,669
There is a Santa Claus.
You know there's a Santa Claus.
218
00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:48,901
Round guy, uh,
219
00:07:48,936 --> 00:07:49,936
about yea high, white beard.
220
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,270
I saw him at the mall yesterday.
221
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,044
You're lying!
Hey.
222
00:07:53,073 --> 00:07:54,513
You never go to the mall.
223
00:07:54,542 --> 00:07:56,012
40% markup!
224
00:07:56,043 --> 00:07:58,013
(sighs heavily)
225
00:07:58,045 --> 00:08:00,575
Looks like I picked the
wrong week to stop hating you.
226
00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:02,524
Oh, come...
227
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,524
You know what, whatever.
228
00:08:05,553 --> 00:08:07,623
Should be celebrating Kwanzaa
around here anyway.
229
00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:14,533
Tee Tee, come on!
230
00:08:14,562 --> 00:08:15,702
Malik's going to be here
any minute.
231
00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:16,699
No!
232
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:17,970
Boy, look.
233
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,868
Don't make me
come up there after you.
234
00:08:22,770 --> 00:08:24,610
Ooh, look!
235
00:08:24,638 --> 00:08:27,038
We finally found
black Waldo.
236
00:08:28,776 --> 00:08:30,776
Don't you look
precious, Tee Tee.
237
00:08:30,811 --> 00:08:33,251
You don't pay me
enough for this.
238
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:35,220
Stop.
(grunts)
239
00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:37,618
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho.
240
00:08:37,650 --> 00:08:39,850
Merry Christmas, y'all.
241
00:08:39,886 --> 00:08:41,586
Aw.
242
00:08:41,621 --> 00:08:43,621
Look at you with your
little cute elf shoes
243
00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:45,757
and your little
cute elf hat
244
00:08:45,793 --> 00:08:48,903
and your little cute
elf ears, Tee Tee.
245
00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:51,629
Man, these is my ears!
246
00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:54,066
I quit.
247
00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:55,201
Tee Tee, come on.
248
00:08:55,235 --> 00:08:56,395
You look cute.
Come on, boy.
249
00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:58,706
And, besides, you promised
you would take all these gifts
250
00:08:58,739 --> 00:09:00,539
down to the kids at the home.
251
00:09:02,109 --> 00:09:04,039
Why can't I dress
like Santa Claus?
252
00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:05,947
(laughing)
253
00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:06,949
Man, that's funny.
254
00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:09,320
Boy, you ain't white.
255
00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:10,849
Why's Santa got to be white?
256
00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,654
He was when he snuck
in our house
257
00:09:12,686 --> 00:09:13,816
when I was a kid.
Right, Ma?
258
00:09:13,854 --> 00:09:16,194
Uh-huh, a Creole.
259
00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:18,264
All right, y'all, I'm out.
260
00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:19,631
Merry Christmas.
Wait, Malik.
261
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:20,690
Where are you going, boy?
262
00:09:20,728 --> 00:09:21,728
It's Christmas Eve.
263
00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:22,962
You know, we
always open up
264
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:25,666
our one special gift
for good luck.
265
00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:28,199
So...
Oh.
266
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:30,635
This is for
your new place.
267
00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:32,771
So you don't ever
forget your family.
268
00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:33,906
All right.
269
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:39,747
Huh?
270
00:09:39,780 --> 00:09:42,720
Uh...
271
00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:43,720
thanks, y'all.
272
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:47,915
I know exactly where
I'm going to put it.
273
00:09:47,955 --> 00:09:50,115
All right, all right,
it's my turn. All right.
274
00:09:50,157 --> 00:09:52,227
Gimme, gimme, gimme,
gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme! Okay, okay, okay!
275
00:09:53,393 --> 00:09:54,763
Ah-ah-ah!
Don't take my hands off.
276
00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:55,825
Calm down, woman.
277
00:09:55,863 --> 00:09:57,063
Okay, I've been good, though.
278
00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:58,967
Okay. Merry Christmas.
279
00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:00,099
Ooh.
280
00:10:02,703 --> 00:10:04,773
Uh-oh.
Hmm?
281
00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:05,965
Uh-oh.
282
00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:07,806
It's just my size.
283
00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:10,241
A whole lot of zeros!
284
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:12,654
Oh! All right,
all right.
285
00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:13,780
Let me read the card.
286
00:10:13,814 --> 00:10:16,684
"Have a very Saber Christmas.
287
00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:19,217
Love, Malik."
288
00:10:19,252 --> 00:10:21,292
Merry Christmas, Ma.
289
00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:22,361
Love you.
290
00:10:22,389 --> 00:10:23,559
Now, y'all,
I got to bounce.
291
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:26,390
'Cause I'm going to have a
little sherry in my new grotto.
292
00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:29,826
And a little Michelle,
and possibly a little Gina.
293
00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:31,033
Merry Christmas, y'all.
294
00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:32,274
I'll see y'all tomorrow.
295
00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:37,666
Hey.
296
00:10:37,705 --> 00:10:38,765
Check this out.
297
00:10:38,806 --> 00:10:40,866
Christmas Eve special.
298
00:10:40,908 --> 00:10:43,678
I got this baby for five bucks.
299
00:10:43,711 --> 00:10:46,281
Yeah, it looks like it.
300
00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:48,821
Where are you going?
301
00:10:48,849 --> 00:10:50,979
Last-minute business trip.
302
00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:52,018
What?
303
00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:53,152
But it's Christmas Eve.
304
00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:54,286
I thought we were
supposed to
305
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:56,821
throw back some punk-ass
Santa-tinis
306
00:10:56,857 --> 00:10:58,087
and go naughty caroling.
307
00:10:58,125 --> 00:10:59,955
Maybe even surprise Derwin
308
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:02,833
with a special Yule log
on his doorstep.
309
00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:06,834
Wow. Um, all really great ideas.
310
00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:08,367
You know, maybe New Year's.
311
00:11:08,401 --> 00:11:10,141
But right now, duty calls.
312
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:12,740
(chuckles):
You said "duty."
313
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:15,881
But, seriously,
where are you going?
314
00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:17,809
(sighs heavily)
315
00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:18,805
All right, look.
316
00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:21,446
I was trying to avoid the drama,
317
00:11:21,481 --> 00:11:24,151
but here it goes.
318
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,094
I took Derwin back as a client,
319
00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:27,349
but...
320
00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:28,787
I figure,
since you drank the last
321
00:11:28,822 --> 00:11:30,192
of the soy milk, we're even.
322
00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:31,423
What?
323
00:11:31,458 --> 00:11:34,328
You're going back to work
for the devil?
324
00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:35,761
How could you?
Look, Melanie,
325
00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:38,196
that devil is going to help
pay my mortgage.
326
00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:39,971
I understand
that you hate Derwin,
327
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,900
but he's a potential gold mine.
He's a...
328
00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:43,896
Backstabber.
329
00:11:43,937 --> 00:11:46,207
Okay, maybe he's a backstabber.
330
00:11:46,239 --> 00:11:49,439
No, no, I was
talking about you.
331
00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:50,776
Me?!
Yeah.
332
00:11:50,811 --> 00:11:52,811
I thought you were my friend,
Dionne.
333
00:11:52,846 --> 00:11:54,916
No, Melanie, this
isn't friendship.
334
00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:56,478
This is my job!
(gasps)
335
00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:00,352
Okay. Okay.
Okay.
336
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:01,817
Well, then, since when
337
00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:04,415
do you wear a bikini
to your job?!
338
00:12:04,457 --> 00:12:05,887
Oh, throw one more thing.
339
00:12:05,926 --> 00:12:06,786
You know, what a sell-out.
You know what?
340
00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:08,957
Grow up, Melanie.
We had plans, Dionne.
341
00:12:08,996 --> 00:12:11,256
No. I...
I have plans.
342
00:12:11,298 --> 00:12:12,468
I have a life plan.
343
00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:15,839
That is why I have my own
business and I own my own home.
344
00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:17,439
You, you don't get that.
345
00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:19,170
Because you don't have
a life plan.
346
00:12:19,206 --> 00:12:20,766
You just drift from
person to person.
347
00:12:20,808 --> 00:12:23,908
Mommy and Daddy to Derwin,
and now to me.
348
00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:26,484
Well, you know, excuse me
if this is the only way
349
00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:28,553
I can afford to go
to St. Bart's.
350
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,521
You know what?
What?
351
00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:34,121
Well, Merry Christmas
to you, too!
352
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:41,829
* ...Joker got
away, hey! *
353
00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:46,368
Okay, it's
Christmas day,
354
00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:47,969
and I don't smell no grease.
Where's my dinner?
355
00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:49,301
(timer dings)
356
00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:50,966
There it is.
357
00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:55,910
What is this?
358
00:12:55,943 --> 00:12:58,583
Turkey, gravy,
all the fixings.
359
00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:00,311
Merry Christmas.
360
00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:01,917
I know what it is.
361
00:13:01,949 --> 00:13:03,279
Oh, good. Because,
when I put it in there,
362
00:13:03,316 --> 00:13:05,416
it looked kind of suspect.
363
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:07,552
Tee Tee,
leave us alone for a minute.
364
00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:10,157
For real?
365
00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:13,828
But who's going to cut
the tension with his wit?
366
00:13:13,861 --> 00:13:15,601
Tee Tee, please!
367
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:19,068
Fine. I knew I should have
gone home for Christmas.
368
00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:21,399
Y'all lucky I don't
got my mama's address.
369
00:13:24,071 --> 00:13:26,171
All right, Ma, I get it.
370
00:13:26,206 --> 00:13:27,836
You're mad at me
for firing you,
371
00:13:27,875 --> 00:13:29,175
and making you work
for the white man.
372
00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:31,279
And now you're taking
it out on Christmas.
373
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:34,450
Ma, admit it!
374
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:37,451
Look, I'm not mad, Malik.
375
00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:39,894
I'm hurt.
376
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,632
"Dear Ma,
377
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,473
I love you more than Santa."
378
00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:53,829
You were six.
379
00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:59,107
See here? You even
used the cotton balls to make Santa's beard.
380
00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:02,309
"Dear Ma, you're
the only Mack
381
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:05,352
"better than mac and cheese
on Christmas.
382
00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:07,508
Love, Malik."
383
00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:11,077
And that's
from last year.
384
00:14:11,118 --> 00:14:13,988
Malik, in 25 years
you've been on this earth,
385
00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:16,591
you have never given me
a store-bought Christmas card.
386
00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:19,633
Words all embossed on it
like I'm some kind of fan.
387
00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:21,899
I mean, you didn't
even add nothing to it.
388
00:14:21,929 --> 00:14:23,999
No glitter,
no popsicle sticks.
389
00:14:24,031 --> 00:14:25,671
Nothing.
390
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,628
What's the deal, Malik?
391
00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:31,937
Well, why don't you have
Derwin make you a card
392
00:14:31,972 --> 00:14:33,242
since he's your boy now?
393
00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:36,443
Okay.
394
00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:38,306
I see.
395
00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:40,605
So this is about me
working for Derwin?
396
00:14:40,647 --> 00:14:44,017
Honey, I'm sorry,
but you fired me.
397
00:14:44,051 --> 00:14:45,951
And I'm sorry
about the GMC commercial,
398
00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:47,916
but I had to work
in my client's best interest,
399
00:14:47,955 --> 00:14:49,455
and Derwin is my client now.
400
00:14:49,489 --> 00:14:51,959
I know, Ma.
But ain't he got no Ma?
401
00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:54,462
Baby, look.
402
00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:58,234
You may not be
my client anymore,
403
00:14:58,265 --> 00:15:00,425
but you're going
to always be my son.
404
00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:03,397
Unless you give me
another one of them jacked-up Christmas cards.
405
00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:04,666
Okay?
406
00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:08,284
Come here.
407
00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:10,038
I love you, Ma.
408
00:15:10,077 --> 00:15:11,177
I love you, too.
409
00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:14,352
Dionne!
Oh.
410
00:15:14,381 --> 00:15:17,181
Yo! You're here early.
Wow!
411
00:15:17,217 --> 00:15:20,717
Um... actually,
our flight leaves in two hours.
412
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,463
We should probably
get going.
413
00:15:22,489 --> 00:15:25,089
Oh, yeah, about that.
414
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:26,985
Um... I really didn't
expect you here this early.
415
00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:28,027
I wrote you a note.
416
00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:31,061
Derwin, you can just
read it to me in the car.
417
00:15:31,098 --> 00:15:33,668
No. It's meant to be read here.
418
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:36,340
Okay.
419
00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:37,539
I'll read it.
420
00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:48,084
"Dionne, I cannot tell you
how blessed I am
421
00:15:48,115 --> 00:15:50,175
"to have the opportunity
to work with you again.
422
00:15:50,217 --> 00:15:52,417
You are a true professional."
423
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:53,652
Thank you.
424
00:15:53,686 --> 00:15:57,756
"And as such, I am confident
you will understand my decision
425
00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:00,690
to have someone else
accompany me to St. Barts."
426
00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:04,127
Wait. Uh... are you
flaking on me?
427
00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:07,134
If you'd please let me continue.
428
00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:09,741
"I am not flaking on you.
429
00:16:09,769 --> 00:16:12,139
"It is just that
430
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:15,082
"I have only recently found out
that this is a pleasure trip,
431
00:16:15,108 --> 00:16:16,138
"and think it's more appropriate
432
00:16:16,176 --> 00:16:19,246
to bring someone with whom
I can have pleasure."
433
00:16:19,279 --> 00:16:22,249
What?
434
00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:23,482
Yeah.
435
00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:25,146
I'm bringing Cha Cha.
436
00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:27,145
She's Asian.
437
00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:30,287
Why didn't you
call me, Derwin,
438
00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:31,363
instead of
making me drive
439
00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:33,531
across town
on Christmas Day?
440
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:35,630
Yo, Dionne, come on, all right?
441
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:37,332
I'm trying to let you down easy.
442
00:16:37,364 --> 00:16:39,274
Oh, wait.
443
00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:42,669
"PPS: I hope
this doesn't affect
444
00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:46,272
our business relationship
because I am really happy."
445
00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:49,776
Um, hey, as long as the
check clears, right?
446
00:16:49,809 --> 00:16:52,249
Excuse me.
447
00:16:54,814 --> 00:16:57,324
Merry Christmas, Derwin.
448
00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:59,350
You, too.
449
00:17:06,393 --> 00:17:07,633
Can I open my eyes?
450
00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:10,300
No. Not yet.
451
00:17:10,329 --> 00:17:11,529
Okay, now.
452
00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:15,474
Cool!
453
00:17:15,502 --> 00:17:18,642
Welcome to Brittany's
Christmas Wonderland.
454
00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:20,511
Do you like it?
I love it!
455
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:22,180
(bells jingling)
456
00:17:22,209 --> 00:17:24,109
Who could that be?
457
00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:26,084
Brit-Brat, look
who Santa forgot.
458
00:17:27,513 --> 00:17:32,093
Elves and a reindeer?
459
00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:33,619
That's right, honey.
460
00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:35,263
So there really
is a Santa?
461
00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:36,418
There better be.
462
00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:37,716
Otherwise, who's going
to pay for us?
463
00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:39,387
See? I told you.
464
00:17:39,426 --> 00:17:41,426
Now, go. Go get
your jacket on.
465
00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:43,531
You can play
with the reindeer.
466
00:17:43,563 --> 00:17:46,833
Hey, pal, we want cash.
No Saber tickets.
467
00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:48,336
I said I got you.
468
00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:53,240
Nice job, Mr. Claus.
469
00:17:53,273 --> 00:17:54,343
Thank you, Mrs. Claus.
470
00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:55,384
Do you see how much
magic we can make
471
00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:56,538
when you don't hate me
all the time?
472
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:59,376
And when you come off
with some cash.
473
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:02,222
Exactly how much cash?
474
00:18:02,249 --> 00:18:04,219
Just focus on the magic.
475
00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:09,462
MAN (on TV):
Highly logical and reasonable assumption, I'm afraid.
476
00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:11,319
MAN 2:
It would be, if a clerk here
477
00:18:11,358 --> 00:18:14,188
or Mr. Mara or I believed
that we were Santa.
478
00:18:14,227 --> 00:18:15,627
Hey.
479
00:18:15,662 --> 00:18:18,502
What happened?
480
00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:19,871
Derwin dump you?
481
00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:23,502
Yeah.
482
00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:25,406
Oh.
483
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,208
Really.
484
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:28,240
I'm sorry.
485
00:18:28,275 --> 00:18:29,375
No, you're not.
486
00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:31,309
You're right. I'm not.
487
00:18:31,344 --> 00:18:32,814
I told you so.
488
00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:34,345
Look, you know, whatever,
Melanie.
489
00:18:34,381 --> 00:18:35,781
Because it's no big deal,
you know?
490
00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:38,715
It's business, and I'm not
taking it personally.
491
00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:40,391
Oh, come on, Dionne.
492
00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:42,460
It's okay to admit
you're disappointed.
493
00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:46,159
I'm not, you know?
I...
494
00:18:46,193 --> 00:18:50,533
Look, I was looking forward
to a little sun and sand,
495
00:18:50,563 --> 00:18:52,503
massages on the G5.
496
00:18:53,766 --> 00:18:57,496
It would have been nice.
497
00:18:57,537 --> 00:18:58,637
Sorry.
498
00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:01,511
Hey. Cookie?
499
00:19:03,610 --> 00:19:05,550
I do like cookies.
500
00:19:05,578 --> 00:19:07,478
They're really good.
501
00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:11,952
It's not quite the same, but...
502
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:14,294
Aw, whatever.
503
00:19:14,321 --> 00:19:17,921
You know, um... about
what I said the other day.
504
00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:19,187
My life plan?
505
00:19:19,226 --> 00:19:20,456
Yeah.
506
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:21,363
I've been working on that.
507
00:19:21,394 --> 00:19:22,904
Really?
Yeah.
508
00:19:22,929 --> 00:19:26,199
Okay. Um...
(clears throat)
509
00:19:26,233 --> 00:19:27,703
Number one.
510
00:19:27,734 --> 00:19:30,504
"Make a life plan."
511
00:19:32,639 --> 00:19:34,439
Number two.
512
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:37,744
You said "number two."
513
00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:39,307
No, no, no.
514
00:19:39,346 --> 00:19:40,506
I'm... I'm sorry.
515
00:19:40,547 --> 00:19:42,517
I'm serious. Tell me.
516
00:19:42,549 --> 00:19:43,849
No. You probably
wouldn't want to hear it.
517
00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:46,793
I mean, besides,
it's kind of personal.
518
00:19:46,819 --> 00:19:49,519
Oh, yeah. No. Sure.
519
00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:52,326
I understand. Sorry.
520
00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:56,501
Number two.
521
00:19:56,529 --> 00:20:00,929
"Get through my first
Christmas without Derwin."
522
00:20:03,503 --> 00:20:05,813
Yeah.
523
00:20:05,838 --> 00:20:08,008
That's a really
good list.
524
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,440
Thank you.
525
00:20:14,381 --> 00:20:16,951
How about...
526
00:20:16,983 --> 00:20:19,593
to first Christmases?
527
00:20:19,619 --> 00:20:20,749
Okay.
528
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:24,555
To first Christmases.
529
00:20:24,605 --> 00:20:29,155
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