Original subtitles

Okay, wait, look, y'all. I'm not saying

that Malik wasn't wrong for hitting Chris Clemens, okay,

but the man humiliated him

in a nationally syndicated comic strip.

And I blame the media

for blowing this whole thing out of proportion.

I'm sorry. As my brother so eloquently pointed out.

Indeed I did. Thank you.

Oh, no. Stevie, would you go to my dressing room,

grab my gas mask.

The crazy is spreading.

Chuck, it's interesting that the only crazy people here

happen to be black. Okay!

Oh, Martin! Martin! Time out!

It doesn't matter if you're

black or white.

When you're a role model,

when you're anybody, when you get your feelings hurt,

it's not okay to go around punching people.

No. Malik got stepped to.

Uh-huh. Okay? He reacted.

Mm-hmm. All right?

Like you're making me do, okay?

Sometimes that's how it happens.

Sometimes you might end up getting your ass kicked.

Okay, you go a little bit too far, that's all I'm saying.

I don't know if that's what we want to encourage.

CHUCK: No, no, no.

No, no! Martin.

Martin, wait a second here.

So, that's what

you taught Malik growing up--

that it was okay to use violence to solve his problems?

Come on, Chuck, come on.

Well, cut her some slack.

Tasha's probably a little bit flustered

at being on national television,

so she's not articulating herself correctly.

No, I can articulate myself just fine, okay?

Just 'cause I don't sound like some uppity white boy,

I don't need you to speak for me.

Showtime! Look, you guys are acting

like Malik is the first athlete

to ever get in trouble.

What about Kobe Bryant?

What about Kobe Bryant, huh?

He was accused of what?

Climbing up behind that white girl.

Now he's playing for Team USA.

Uh, Martin... "climbing up." Anything?

No.

Well... What?

No. Okay.

This is some hot mess right here.

I ain't gonna sit up here and let y'all accuse my son

and-and crucify him like they did Jesus.

(stammering): I'm sorry.

Are you comparing your son

to Jesus... t-to Jesus Christ?

D-d-did I stutter?

Damon, can you give us a comment

about the Malik Wright situation?

Well, his words and actions highlight the fact

that he's spiritually immature and socially irrelevant.

I mean, frankly, I don't know why we're giving so much energy

into a man who's 13 minutes into his 15 minutes.

I mean, before you know it,

we'll all be saying, "Malik who?"

REPORTER: Wow, those are some strong words

coming from someone who's also represented

by Wright's mother.

Hey, she handles my business.

I still handle my own mind.

How about Tasha Mack? Have you spoken with her?

What the hell is that? Huh? No. I have not.

Did your mind let you buy that gas-guzzling SUV,

Mr. Zen phony-baloney?

Actually, that was hydrogen-fueled.

There's only, like, five of them in the world.

Then get me the other four.

Ma, what the hell is this?

First the train wreck with Chuck and Martin

and now this clown you're supposed

to be handling? Look, I'm handling it.

I'm handling it. Obviously, you ain't handling.

Look, I said I'm handling it, all right?

God, why isn't Kelly answering the damn phones?

I'm not stopping the steroids.

I need 'em. It's for my career, for us.

Jason, you could give me 100 different reasons.

It's not going to make a difference.

I don't want you doing them anymore.

I don't want to pay for having my garbage collected.

I would gladly drive it down to the dump myself,

but I'm not given that choice, am I?

(phone ringing)

Damn it.

Hello?

TASHA: Kelly, where the hell are you?

I'm in the... (whirring)

copy room.

You vrrrrr better get your ass down to the office, okay?

We in the middle of a crisis!

I'm on my way, Tasha!

Bye.

See what your drug habit made me do?

Now I'm late.

Fine, go to work then. We're done here.

No, Jason, we're not done.

You made me hate my body.

You made me feel inadequate.

You stood by while I kicked my own brother out.

God, the poor guy is probably sleeping under a cold bridge

drinking water from a drainpipe,

fighting other runaways for scraps of rotten fruit.

I said I was sorry.

God, I hate you.

I love you, too.

ALL (yelling): Oh!

(shouting and jeering)

Get it!

Okay!

Uh! Uh! Uh!

Go, go, go!

No, no, no.

No, no, no.

Go! Go! I'm gonna show y'all

how we do it in the VA.

(cheering and jeering)

(yelling)

So sorry to break up your little dance recital, ladies,

but I got some administrative business.

PLAYERS: Boo!

All right, all right, listen up.

Pitts, Savage, Davis, come on down.

You are the new contestants on The Pee Is Right.

Pee Is Right? What you talking about, Coach?

Call came in.

You guys have been chosen for random drug tests.

Well!

That's my cue.

I'll see you fellas in four weeks.

DERWIN: Come on, man!

Anybody else walking out?

Nah, Coach, we're cool.

All right, so I'll see you guys in the training room at noon.

Don't forget-- you're not allowed to leave the facility.

Talk about random.

Hey, J, good thing we're not on drugs, right?

Yeah. Good thing.

(phone ringing)

If I take one more phone call,

I will never make it to the office.

(ringing continues)

Hello.

All right, yeah, hold on.

Malik!

Is that another reporter?

Oh, no, it's just Irv, that manager

who was trying to steal Malik from you. Malik!

Boy.

Irv!

Irv!

Irv!

Yeah, you know better than to call here.

All right, don't let it happen again.

Bye.

Hit you with the dial tone, huh?

Yeah.

Three championships with the Lakers, a good run on Oz,

critically acclaimed series,

and then nothing.

I thought I was going to take off. You know what I mean?

God.

You're one handsome son of a bitch.

I know, right?

It's the gray. Yeah.

It's making it better. Absolutely.

I don't need no appointment.

I'll tell him I'm here.

Irv, I'm here.

Tasha Mack, welcome to L.A.

Irv, what's wrong?

You don't stand up when a lady walks into the room?

That's funny-- because I'm short.

Did you catch that, Foxie?

(chuckling)

Sierra, cancel Willie Tyler and Lester

for the company picnic.

We just landed the comedy gold of Tasha Mack.

Rick, what you doing here?

I thought you cared about your career.

I work here. I'm a manager.

Uh-oh.

Sierra, cancel Tasha Mack for the company picnic.

We just landed the comedy gold of Rick Fox.

I'm gonna get with you later, Irv.

Foxie.

I really am a manager.

Save the opening shtick for the company picnic, Rick.

What are you doing calling my son?

It's a little thing called strategy, Tasha.

I knew if I called him, you'd show up.

Look, your ship's sinking fast,

but I can fix Malik's situation-- and yours.

I'm offering to take on your clients

and bring you on as an associate.

You got a great knowledge

of football, plus you're bringing Malik and Damon.

Oh, it sounds like a great deal for you.

You didn't let me finish, showgirl.

You're going to get a hefty paycheck

and a buyout, stock options and VIP passes to Sea World.

I know you love it. Don't deny it.

So... what do you say, Tasha Mack?

I say that I don't have any problems

I can't fix my damn self.

Oh, watch it.

You're letting your pride get

in the way of what's best for your clients.

No, what's best for my clients is that they stick with me.

And what's best for you is to kiss my ass.

So, uh, love, peace and chicken grease.

It must be nice to be black and say anything you want.

(sighs)

It is.

Later, Irv. Later, Tash.

Tasha Mack Management.

Please hold.

Tasha Mack Management.

Please hold.

Tasha Mack Management.

Please hold.

Delivery for Tasha Mack.

Melanie, give it up.

Oh, come on, Kelly.

Help me out.

Is Tasha ever going to forgive me?

Melanie, you lied and told Derwin you slept with Malik.

So I should have gotten a bigger basket?

Melanie, please go before you get me in trouble.

(phone ringing) (sighs)

Tasha Mack Management.

Kel, it's me. (line disconnects)

Kelly, could you just at least let her know that I came by?

Tasha Mack Management.

JASON: Baby, listen.

I mean, just let her know that I just stopped...

(ringing)

Tasha Mack Management.

It's an emergency! Don't hang up!

(sighs)

Hold on, Marion Jones.

Sweetie, I need you to fill in for me.

Oh, I don't... I don't think so, Kelly.

I don't know if Tasha would want me to do that.

Melanie, I just need you to pick up the phone

and say, "No comment."

That's it.

(phone ringing)

Tasha Mack Management. No comment.

Huh?

No, I don't think Malik's the best role model.

But don't quote me on that.

What?

I'm supposed to say that first?

All I want to hear from you

is you're going to stop taking steroids.

I can't get into that right now, baby.

I'm in big trouble here.

They're gonna test me for drugs in an hour.

What? Oh, my God.

I know! I need your help.

Why don't you lie to them like you lied to me?

I tried! Listen, I...

What's up, man?

You gonna work out? That's cool.

I need you to pick up some masking agent for me

so they won't be able to tell I got steroids in my system.

Don't you have that already?

You didn't realize

that you could be tested?

(groans) You suck at drugs.

Hey.

PLAYERS: Hey.

Hey, Law, you saved us on that field goal last week.

JASON: Hey, honey!

What a surprise.

Did Brit-Brat make me cookies again? That little girl.

All right, hug me, kiss me and you're out of here.

Here.

I love you, too, sweet thing.

TASHA: Hey, Tavis.

Hey, Malik, Tasha.

Tavis, thank you so much for doing this.

No, let me thank you for calling me all those times

on all those numbers.

Don't know how you got them.

But, uh, anyway, this should be a great opportunity

for you and Chris to resolve your beef.

Yeah, well, maybe this time I won't get sucker-punched.

You won't, if you stop being a sucker, sucker.

Brothers, brothers, brothers.

Hold the good stuff for the show, man.

I'll see you guys in a few minutes.

All right. Thanks, Tavis.

IRV: See, Stevie,

if you'd have punched him in the face,

you'd have the first segment.

Chris, how you doing, pal?

Malik, looking strong.

What's up, slugger?

Go ahead on, Stevie.

Now, Tasha, I think you know Stevie Williams.

He's one of the many, many stars I represent.

Mm-hmm. Nice to meet you.

You, too.

Between the clothing line,

deck sales and endorsements,

he's like a little Brinks truck on skateboard wheels.

That's all it's about, Irv? The money?

Stevie, come on.

You know it's about the bitches, too.

Excuse his mouth, ma'am.

"Ma'am"? Who the hell you calling "ma'am"?

Y'all are bugging.

I'm going to get some chips.

All right, Stevie.

I'm not even sure he knows how to walk.

Now, Tasha...

What are you doing here?

Making history.

I hooked up the most influential journalist

in the nation to create a peace agreement

between Malik and Clemens.

Problem solved, compliments of Tasha Mack Management.

This is your big plan? Mm-hmm.

You should be running FEMA.

Malik, Chris, can I get a sec?

Uh, wait.

Y'all don't need to come over here, all right?

Baby, get... get back to your business.

Listen to me, okay?

Whatever the two of you guys need to talk about,

this is not the venue.

You work your problems out in private.

Like the white man.

Exactly.

You've been peeking in on our meetings, huh?

Hey, look, I'm not here for another fight.

I came here to resolve this thing

and get back to promoting my book.

Homey, if me hitting you in the face

ain't helping you sell books, nothing will.

Whoa, whoa, Malik, let's be honest.

You should be in jail right now, okay?

So just be cool and hear me out.

I got an easy solve for your problem.

One word: foundation.

Now, the two of you guys, you get together

and you start a foundation for needy kids. No.

Needy kids

of meth addicts...

who are nearsighted.

Isn't that beautiful? I mean, who doesn't love

a little four-eyed a meth addict baby? Am I right?

If I had time, I'd adopt one on my way home.

Whatever, Irv, man.

How is this foundation going to fix my problem?

It won't.

Now, let's go get some chips before Stevie eat them all.

Hold up, Ma.

I want to hear him out. Okay.

Ain't going to be no more chips. I'm just saying.

Hey, look, go ahead, Irv. I want to hear this, man.

Okay. Now, with a foundation, it's good for both of you.

Now, let's be real.

Chris, in some circles,

you're known as a brilliant political satirist.

True, true. Right?

And in others, eh, you're kind of a jerk.

Whoa. Don't front.

Now, what you need is a little image polishing.

Now, you do this, you'll be seen

as a man who can really effect some change.

MALIK: Okay, wait a minute.

That's good for Chris, but what about me?

Where the hell is my polish?

Malik, I've got a plan for that.

All you got to do is...

What? Shh.

Go ahead, Irv.

Malik, your polish is simple.

You want to be a role model for kids,

well, then you walk the walk.

You be the bigger man by doing the right thing.

I can't believe you're listening to this. Ma!

Irv, so what you're saying is, by us starting

a foundation for children, it will actually take

the attention off of us and put it on the kids?

Exactly. You're going to be the new

Martin Luther King and Malcolm X, Junior.

You decide who's who.

Well, besides that Malcolm X, Junior thing,

it kind of makes sense.

Well, I got sense, too.

Ma...

Malik, you owe me one.

(whispering): I just saved your career.

All right, I'm going to tell Tavis

Stevie's got the whole hour.

So, Chris, we cool?

Yeah, we cool, man.

Hey, uh, but about that foundation thing,

let's not start one for kids with glasses.

They... they kind of creep me out.

Ooh. Yeah, I know what you're saying.

It makes their eyes look real big like they're judging you.

Cool, man. Thanks, bro.

Makes their eyes look all big like they're judging you.

That was a good one, Malik.

Look, I'm glad I was able

to get everybody down here and work it out.

We even had a couple of laughs, too.

We missed out on them chips, though.

That's all right.

We can get some on the way home, though.

All right?

Ma, you're fired.

Uh, hey, hey, Ms. Mack.

Oh, hey, Tee Tee.

Look, I need you to run to the store

and get me some wagon wheel pasta for this mac and cheese.

I'm making Malik's favorite dinner.

Oh, and get me some vanilla ice cream for the cobbler.

Carnation, not that fancy kind.

And hurry up before he gets home.

Uh, about that, Ms. Mack.

I don't think he's going to make it home for dinner.

What you talking about?

All right, let me rephrase that: He ain't coming.

Now, look.

I need you to sign here, here,

date here and initial here.

Termination papers?

Oh. Wow, I'm... I'm sorry.

Is this... is this new information?

I... I'm s... I thought he told you.

Man, this is so uncomfortable.

Oh, well. Let's get it over with, make it official.

No.

I mean, he said I was fired,

but he's supposed to come home;

he's going to eat this mac and cheese.

We're going to laugh over this whole mess

and he's going to un-fire me.

Miss Mack, listen to me.

He's not coming home.

I mean, he just bought himself a loft

until his new house is built.

He's serious?

Yeah.

So, um, you mind if I make myself a plate?

'Cause I don't need no fancy ice cream or nothing.

Hey, baby.

Kelly, please, don't look at me like that.

Like what?

Like the way you looked at my brother?

Hey, Brandon's fine.

I tracked him down this afternoon. He's good.

Is he okay?

He's fine. He's staying with your uncle.

Oh, my God. No, no, no, not... not that uncle.

Well, don't think this changes anything, Jason.

You still lied to me.

I know, but... look, I feel horrible, okay?

You know, I don't care how you feel.

How do you think I feel?

You are jeopardizing our family and your life.

I don't want a dead husband,

and I don't want to have to find another daddy for Brittany.

But I will. I'm not going to die, Kelly.

Okay, what if you get caught? I passed the test.

You got lucky, Jason.

Those cheap steroids you're taking

are the easiest to detect.

It's not like I had a coupon.

Jason, this isn't funny.

I know it's not funny.

I got guys half my age on my ass every day.

It's getting harder and harder to hold them off. Then quit.

I can't quit, Kelly. This is who I am.

Look, I've been playing this game since I was six.

I am this close to my dream, to winning a championship.

I may never get this chance again.

Do you understand that?

So, please, don't take this away from me.

Okay. Okay?

If you're going to do this,

we're going to do it my way.

You... yeah, fine, your way.

These are the rules.

No cheap stuff.

No needles, and in two months, you are done.

I'm scheduled for three. There's no way I can... This isn't a negotiation, Jason.

Two months or I'm taking our daughter and leaving.

Okay, yeah, two it is. Fine.

Glad we understand each other.

I guess there's a...

a new sheriff in town, huh?

Come here.

Tasha, I'm proud of you.

I am proud of you for finally coming around.

Well, I know a good deal when I see one.

My mama ain't raised no fool.

She didn't raise anyone to speak proper English, either.

That just slipped out.

That was a good one.

That was a good one, Irv.

So, Nina, is that it?

That's it. We'll get out of here All right.

and let the two of you celebrate.

All right, thanks, Bob. Appreciate it, pal.

Say hi to the kids.

All right.

I'm glad to have you and Malik on board.

Welcome to Irv Smith Management.

Glad to be here, Irv. Thanks.

Mmm.

Wait a second. Is that Malik?

Oh, look at that.

Right on time.

You know what, you might want to hear this, Irv.

MAN: Malik, is it true

you're no longer being represented by your mother?

Yes, that's true.

But while I'm no longer represented by her,

I will continue to carry the values

that my mom has instilled in me.

So, Malik, who's your new management?

I'm now being represented by the Brock Group.

Why the Brock Group?

Wait a second. You knew.

You knew all along Malik wasn't part

of this deal, and you screwed me.

Come on, I told you my mama ain't raised no fool.

You're too busy worrying about my English.

I'm going to sue you.

I am going to sue you for everything.

By Friday, I'm going to have your weave on my desk.

Irv, the weave? Come on. You all shook.

You know what, you're forgetting

about the big picture here, all right?

This is why you want Tasha Mack.

I still got Damon Ainsley and the rest of my clients.

And what went down here shows that I do what I got to do

to get the job done, baby.

Okay. Okay?

Okay, I can't lie. I do love a shark!

Okay! Then, I'm your girl, all right?

Yeah, but Tasha, did you... did you have to bite me first?

It's to teach you to stay your ass out of my waters.

All right, well, come on, Jaws. Let's go to dinner.

We'll figure out how to get your son back.

I already got my son back.

But if you want Malik Wright back as a client,

we got some work to do.

All right, let's go. All right.

(phone ringing)

Hey, baby.

Yeah, I saw you up there looking all good.

Thanks, Ma.

Hey, how'd it go?

It's a done deal.

Benefits, everything.

All right, I'll meet you at the house.

Mac and cheese going to be warm.

All right.

Wait, Tash. Huh?

After what just went down, don't you think

you owe me a little dinner?

Later, boss.

Well, come on, I like soul food!

I'm not afraid of a little hypertension!

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