Original subtitles

("Chillin' Tonite" by Lil' Kim playing)

* Yeah

* I'm chillin' with my baby tonight *

* I'm chillin' with my baby tonight *

* Yeah

* I'm chillin' with my baby tonight... *

No, no, no, check it.

This is just a start for Malik Wright the rapper,

aka Malik Murder,

aka 40 Million Dollars,

aka The Muffin Man...

Aka I-I get it.

* We gonna freak somethin'

* Drink somethin', toast somethin' *

* Now I got him on the move like he stole somethin' *

* Get it poppin' all night till like 4:00 somethin' *

* And then we right back at it 'round 6:00 somethin' *

* It's supposed to be girls' night out *

* So you know he got my girlfriends cursin' me out... *

So Kim's my girl, all right?

She asked me to be here, I heard the music, it's hot.

That's what it is, y'all.

* In the club hangin' with my girls *

* I'm chillin' with my baby tonight... *

So, Malik, tell me, what's happening in the video?

So I scoop Kim up in my Phantom,

we rolls down to the... Wait.

Your Phantom?

Keys.

(clears throat)

(alarm chirps)

Malik, that's a half a million dollar car.

Yeah, it is.

* Tonight it's just me and my boo *

* Candlelight dinner, sippin' some wine, too... *

And in case you don't like the Phantom,

I got the Ferrari, the Lambo,

the helicopter, and I'm six hours away

from getting my submarine license, baby.

I have to say that's some lifestyle

you've made for yourself.

No doubt.

Hey, kids, remember this:

you ain't got to sell drugs to live like you sell drugs.

And that's one to grow on.

Malik Wright, aka 40 Million Dollars.

Holla.

(laughing)

Whoo!

(chuckles)

That's classic.

(chuckling)

What you laughing at?

Man, this is funny.

Know that cat Chris Clements?

Yeah.

He got you in his comic strip.

I'm in Snickas?

Yeah, check it out. He got you throwing

a crack pipe to a kid. Oh.

Well, I just hope the kid scores a touchdown.

You know what I'm saying, Tee Tee?

(chuckles)

No, Malik, man, see, look...

this is one of those things

that's supposed to be funny to me

but tragic to you.

Man, I ain't tripping.

It's just the funnies.

I don't know, man, Chris Clements got some major clout.

He's a nationally syndicated cartoonist

in over 300 newspapers,

circulation of over five million.

So?

Okay, white people read it, too.

Oh, this is serious?

Hey, y'all.

Good morning, Ma.

Morning. Tee Tee, where's my eggs?

I don't know, Ms. Mack, you're going to have to ask God.

Well, God too busy holding me back

from putting my foot up your ass.

Mama. Hmm?

Check this out.

Uh-oh! High five.

Yeah? Mm-hmm.

My baby's a Snicka.

So this ain't a bad thing? No, boy.

Look, any press is good press.

It's like getting clowned

on Saturday Night Live. You made it.

Wha-- see, that's what I was trying

to tell Chef Boyar-Tee-Tee.

(both laugh)

So, look, now that you've done good,

it's time for Mama to do the same.

I'm headed up to Monterey tomorrow

to hopefully sign Damon Ainsley.

Whoa, Damon Ainsley? Mm-hmm.

Dude led the league in rushing last season.

That's big time, Ms. Mack.

TASHA: Yep.

Oh, well, what the hell am I, y'all?

A Snicka.

Damn right.

Melanie, would you just do my back?

No, I am not participating in this madness.

It's not that hard.

I marked up the front.

Kelly,

you do not need plastic surgery, okay?

Your body is perfect.

Melanie, wake up.

My husband is bored with me.

And my stripper pole is starting to rust.

Do you know how painful it is

to slide down a rusty stripper pole?

Oh, my God, Kelly.

Kelly, would you stop?

Look, you are one of the most gorgeous women I've ever seen.

I mean, your stomach is like flatbread

and your boobs

are like two scoops of

velvety vanilla ice cream...

I'm sorry,

I missed breakfast.

I'm starving.

Look, the truth is,

I'd sell my soul for a body like yours.

Really?

Your soul?

It's a figure of speech, Kelly; you're scaring me.

Look, whatever's going on with you and Jason

is not about your body.

Oh, my God.

It's my face.

JASON: Hey.

Hey, what's up, Melanie?

Nice double chin, fatty.

Man, Derwin really did a number on that one.

Baby?

Uh, quick question--

what the hell have you done to yourself?

I've let time ravage me.

But don't worry,

I'm gonna fix it.

Kelly, what...?

No, Jason, I know that you

don't find me attractive anymore.

(sighs) But I'm gonna get it back.

A snip here and a tuck there... Baby...

I'll be like new. No.

No, listen to me, I do not want you to do this.

Jason, if you're worried about the money,

I found a discount clinic in Guatemala.

You can even pay in fish.

Baby, baby, there's nothing wrong with your body.

I love it the way it is.

Come here. Come here.

You are beautiful, okay?

And you're sexy. Have you seen your ass lately?

Are you kidding me with this thing?

(chuckles)

(moans)

Do me right now.

On an empty stomach?

I knew it.

Vaya con Dios, Jason.

(yelling) Yeah, baby!

Whoo! (cheering)

Yeah! Yeah, boy!

Hey, J, can't nobody hold us, man.

We're like the Holy Trinity out there.

You're the Father, I am the Son,

and, Malik, you're the Holy Ghost.

Yeah, that's 'cause I takes 'em to church, baby!

Um, no.

It's because Jason's older, I'm younger,

and Holy Ghost was all that was left.

But, you know, take 'em to church.

Yo, J, man, what's going on?

We had a great game.

You look like we lost.

Something else on your mind?

Why, 'cause I don't want to get dragged

into your stupid nickname clique, son?

I'm just trying to congratulate...

Get out of my face, you fricking dork.

Nice game, Pitts.

Ow!

You brute! So, Malik,

425 yards passing.

It seems that you and your receivers

are reading each other's minds out there.

Of course we were, man, that's called execution.

Surgically precise execution.

That's all it is, partner.

Y'all can quote me on that.

Well, we are.

That's why we have the mics and the tape recorders.

Malik, Malik, have you seen the latest

cartoon about you in today's paper?

Chris Clements is really coming after you.

Two cartoons in two days.

Baby, look, no press is bad press.

Four straight wins, two cartoons.

Who's hot, y'all?!

Whoo! Yeah, well,

the latest cartoon depicts you in a locker room

using "X"s and "O"s

to show adolescent drug dealers how to evade the cops.

How does that make you feel?

Mm.

Makes me feel like I have a future in coaching.

(laughs)

There's a lot of public outrage about your comments.

Aren't you concerned about that?

For what? Look, ain't nobody

telling kids to sell drugs, do drugs, nothing.

I'm just a football player that knows

that either you sling crack rock or you got a wicked jump shot.

And in my case, the wicked jump shot's

an 80-yard bomb down the sideline.

You feel me, huh?

Malik Wright, aka Holy Ghost.

Out.

Holy Ghost. Malik, Malik...

Holy Ghost.

"Either you're slinging crack rock

or you got a wicked jump shot"?

If you're gonna quote Biggie, do it seriously.

He wasn't about that silliness.

Malik Wright, what about education as an alternative?

What we're trying to do here is to show that athletes like you,

who have an enormous influence on our youth,

have to be more responsible.

Don't lead them down the path of destruction and moral decadence.

Lead them in an uplifting and edifying fashion.

All I'm saying to you is that you've got to move them beyond

the graveyards to which they're appointed

to something more powerful.

That's what hip-hop at it's best does.

So you're blaming hip-hop music?

No, not at all.

I'm not blaming hip-hop.

I'm saying be a better artist,

be a better athlete, be a better human being.

I'm saying don't be a $40 million negro,

don't be a $40 million slave.

Don't be a coon who's bucking and shining

and tomming and jeffing.

Be a serious black man.

I mean, after all,

look at the black community in which you emerged.

Are you helping them?

Are you doing anything constructive?

Are you doing anything that will be uplifting?

All you're doing is selling products to them.

You're appearing on TV shining and smiling

and not being serious, and I'm tired of this.

The black community has to call you out.

Malik, we're calling you out.

You are wrong, not right,

and what you have to do is to lift your vision

and get deeper and get more profound

and be worthy of Paul Robeson

and the great athletes that came before you.

I'm tired of this madness, I'm tired of what you do,

and I'm saying to you, "Change your ways."

You feel me?

Michael Eric Dyson, "aka" Michael Eric Dyson.

Out.

Okay, what the hell just happened?

Well, it's TiVo'd; we can just run it back.

I know I could watch it again.

The media keeps taking my words and running with them.

I'm the victim!

Well, he's not completely right.

I mean, you know, I seen you shine,

but I wouldn't really call you a bucker.

Is this funny to you, Tee Tee, huh?

This is my life, man.

Where's my mom at?

She needs to fix this.

Whoa, Malik, calm down, man, I'm sure your mom is on top of it.

(humming) Om...

Om...

Om...

Om... Om...

Om... Om...

(Monday Night Football ringtone playing)

(humming)

Tasha.

Now, Tasha, I told you when you got up here... Come on, Damon, look,

that's just the kind of manager I am, all right?

I go hard for my clients.

Okay, I take my phone into restricted areas.

Whether I'm pumping gas or in the cockpit

or during my mammogram.

Shoot, business don't stop 'cause you found a lump.

Okay?

I understand you're passionate about what you do,

but I invited you up here specifically

so we could be away from all the distraction

from the outside world.

No newspapers, no phones, no TVs.

No TVs?

Oh, okay, so I'm gonna miss Top Model tonight?

It's the rerun.

I already missed the original airing,

now I got to miss the rerun?

Either you're going to be here

or you're going to be there.

But if you're going to be here,

then we need to get up there.

Okay, Damon, look, I'll be here,

I'll be there, I'll be wherever you want me to be.

All right?

As long as you end up signing right... here.

Om...

Right.

Later.

Om...

No, but for real, though, y'all ain't got no TVs?

Oh, sorry, sorry.

There he is. Yeah.

I'm gonna be in Romance.

Excuse me, excuse me.

Oh, man, Malik Wright?

Welcome. Everybody, Malik Wright.

Hey, man, hey, hell of a game today.

Thanks, Chris.

You think I can holla at you for a minute in private?

Oh, absolutely.

Hey, y'all, don't worry.

He'll be right back, all right?

So what's on your mind, man?

Look, man, I came down here to ask you

what's up with the cartoons?

Oh, I can't stand ignorance.

Huh? Yeah.

You know, in fact, if I was Superman,

ignorance would be my kryptonite,

and as of lately, everything out of your mouth

is my kryptonite.

I wouldn't be doing my job

if I didn't point it out to the public.

People would die.

Damn, dawg, that's messed up.

I know.

Crazy, right?

Yeah, you know, whatever, man.

Look, you got your thing and I got mine.

It's just getting a little our of control.

That's all I'm saying to you, homie.

I hear you, I hear you, Malik, I hear you.

Thanks for coming out.

No, Chris.

Oh, you want a book?

No, I don't want no damn book, man.

It got pictures in it.

Fool, I came down here and stepped to you like a man.

This is seriously messing my life up, Chris.

I want this crap to be over.

Over? Please, I just got started.

I got about two weeks' worth of material on you.

You're like my ignorance muse.

I am not about kids selling drugs.

I grew up in Richmond.

Do you know how many of my homies

I lost to that mess?

I just know kids hear you

when you talk to them in street lingo.

So that's all I'm trying to do.

Well, it's really not working, Malik.

Take care.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, don't you roll away from me

when I'm talking to you... Man, get off me,

You on my foot. Get off my foot, man!

Damn!

You make this cartoon thing so easy.

Free book to anybody who caught that.

Man, get that out of my face, man.

Hey, man, so I'm gonna just go pay for my book,

and I'll be ready to go.

Jail time for Malik Wright.

Jail time?

Malik Wright was hit first.

By whom?

By the media.

That's who should do time.

Arrest the media.

Look, the media didn't punch a guy in a wheelchair.

Hey, they say they want to be treated as equals.

You can't be serious.

I mean, come on, Martin, even you have to admit

that athletes like Malik have embraced the idea

that they're above the law.

It's like the Wild West out there.

They're roaming around town

with their posse.

And what the hell kind of name is Tee Tee anyway?

Chuck, I'm not going to say

that there shouldn't be consequences.

But come on, the guy is facing a civil suit,

and he's losing his endorsements.

He should lose more than his endorsements.

I mean, where's the accountability anymore?

Here's what's going to happen:

Malik is going to issue a statement of apology,

He'll do a short stint in rehab,

and then-- bam-- he's going to find religion.

Amen! Hallelujah!

And you want to talk about accountability?

Of course celebrities are absolutely held accountable--

the black celebrities.

Oh, baby, here we go.

The celebrities you're talking about--

they get slaps on the wrist, but if it's a black man,

he gets hit in the wallet or worse.

Okay, this is not a black-white issue.

The video clearly shows it.

Let's run the clip, please.

Take care.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, don't you roll away from me

when I'm talking to you... Man, get off me,

You on my foot. Get off my foot, man!

Damn!

Man, this is crazy.

I know.

Man, I told 'em my name was Terrance.

No, I don't know the name of it.

How many ashrams do they have in Monterey?

For real?

How many of them got a loud black woman in them?

Just keep looking, please.

(phone ringing)

Tee Tee, check that. That'd better be my mom.

No, man, it's the team owner.

(phone ringing) Is that her?

Nah, that's the dude with 60 Minutes.

(phone ringing) (groans)

There's Mom.

Thank God. Give me that.

No, man, it's my mom.

Hey, Mom.

I know, we're looking for her, too.

I know, right, totally irresponsible.

My God, I'm gonna lose everything.

My career, my fans, the women.

Oh, my God, the women.

Why won't they let this go, man?

(phone ringing) Ma, I got to go.

Yo, it's Kim.

Yo, Kim.

Malik.

This is not a good look.

You got to squash this.

What's up with your moms? What's her plan?

Kim, I don't know her plan.

I don't even know where the hell she is.

Damn, Malik!

You got to get somebody on this.

What's up... where's your publicist?

Where's your lawyer?

Where's Al Sharpton?

With Chris Clements.

Aw, hell, I'm not gonna lie.

This is bad.

'Cause Al's usually on the winning side.

You're supposed to have people

to take care of this type of stuff, Malik.

I don't know them people.

My mom handles that.

Wait... I know one of them is white.

Listen, baby, I've been through this same kind of drama,

and if you don't take control of this,

it's going to bury you.

It's going to bury me.

The music channels are already threatening

not to run the video.

I'm sorry, Kim.

I did not mean to bring you into this.

You know I got you.

(chuckles) Thanks.

That's why I love you, girl.

You always got my back.

You think we could digitize his face to look like Diddy?

Hey, baby.

How was your da...!

Um, do we, uh, have plans tonight or something?

No, we don't.

I do.

Really?

And where would you be going dressed like a Pussycat Doll?

Now, all of a sudden you care?

Kelly...

Let me go.

Baby, where are you going?

To find someone who appreciates me--

this-- just the way it is.

Really? Dressed like that, you might want to try

the nearest strip club.

You take two rights,

about a quarter mile down, big flashy sign.

You know what, Jason?

I realized something.

The problem we're having isn't with me or my body.

The only ass around here that needs to be fixed is you.

All right, hold up, baby, hold up!

Give me a chance to explain.

I have given you enough chances.

You have made it very clear

that you don't want me.

Look, I know things are messed up now, babe...

Jason, I got to go.

Don't wait up.

Kelly, do not...

(sighs)

I thought you were leaving.

I am. I think I forgot my condoms.

Oh, no.

I'm good.

Baby...

Kelly!

I'm on steroids.

What?

I'm...

I'm on steroids.

(sighs)

(phones ringing)

Ah, Danielle Steel, you've done it again.

Guess who just gave Tasha Mack Management the nod?

Only Damon Ainsley.

And guess who just had the most beautiful ride home?

Only Tasha Mack.

Yep, no music, no interruptions.

Just me, riding the vibe.

Yep, Tee Tee, got a whole new outlook on life.

I'm calm, peaceful...

Ma, I've been trying to reach you all weekend!

Boy, don't yell at me!

You're trying to mess with my chi

and break up my oneness.

Forget your chi and your oneness.

I just got a call from the Sabers' front office.

(phones continue ringing)

I'm suspended.

W-What, now?

Things kept happening.

I kept calling you and trying to reach you,

and now my career and my life is all messed up!

Thank you, Ma.

Wait, Malik... Thank you.

Malik, wait a minute!

Tee Tee, what the hell is going on?

You might as well see it for yourself, Ms. Mack.

MALIK (over television): Don't you roll away from me

when I'm talking to you. (door slams)

It's been playing on every TV channel.

TEE TEE: Damn! Damn.

I know, right. That's what I said.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, don't you roll away from me when I'm...

(phones ringing) The phone has been ringing off the hook.

Get off my foot, man!

TEE TEE: Damn!

(reporter speaking Spanish)

Get off my foot, man!

Damn!

Oh, my God.

What the hell you smiling at?

(phones ringing)

They called me Terrance.

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