Original subtitles

Curbside service, I like that.

I already checked you into your room, boss.

-Cool. -(horn honks)

Dang, Tasha, people got things to do.

Like what, Tommy?

Figuring out what went wrong at the Super Bowl?

Oh, girl, too soon, too soon.

Too soon? Come on, it's been four months.

Get some therapy, baby.

But I promise we'll be back next year.

You know I'm playing.

'Cause you know I love me some Bears, a'ight?

You've got three meetings

with potential clients before the party.

That's what I'm talking about.

Let's go get that money.

Is that a real question?

Of course she can return to basketball.

The woman's having a baby, not an amputation.

You know, they never ask a man if he can return to sports.

You know what they do?

They just bail him out, pay off the baby mama

and give the brother a new endorsement deal.

That's why I like you, Vivica.

I can always count on you to speak your mind.

-You got that right, girl. -I'm Renee Royce.

You're watching Women Love Sports, Too

live from the ESPY Weekend in L.A.

Hi, I'm Jason.

I am Jason...

-Pitts. -Huh?

You're Jason Pitts, man.

Right, right, I'm Jason Pitts.

I'm here at the, ah...

-I'm at... I'm at... -The ESPY Awards.

See, right there on the banner, it says "ESPY Awards"?

Hold up, give me the mic. Just give me the mic.

Hi, I'm Kenny Smith.

I'm here at one of L.A.'s hottest parties.

I'm here with Jason Pitts.

He'll be hosting this week's events.

Now I might enjoy myself--

free food, beautiful people, what more could I ask for?

Why am I here?

I'm here for Bill Russell,

to present him with the Legend of the Year Award.

A personal hero of mine.

Thank you.

I don't know what happened, man. I just...

-I just... -Choked.

The word you're looking for is "choked."

Okay, he's launching his own clothing line.

He's looking for athletes to promote it.

Now I've been rolling with Chamillionaire

and his homies for weeks now to make this happen for you.

-Oh, that's what's up. -Yeah.

Even lost 15 pounds wearing that damn vest.

Yo...!

Chamillionaire, what up?

-What's poppin' Irv? -Whoa!

Okay... don't scare me.

Listen, Chamillionaire, Derwin Davis, homeboy,

-the one I've been hollering to you about. -Irv.

-Yeah, dawg? -Stop that, man.

-Absolutely. -Stop that.

Who's talking?

What's up, man?

Chamillionaire, what's going on, boss?

Yo, I'm feelin' your last album, man.

I appreciate that, man.

I see you been doing your thing, also.

You definitely got the image I need

to promote my new clothing line.

All right, cool, cool.

We've got spirit. We're okay.

We're going to rock 'em anyway.

Oh, God.

Excuse me, Lisa.

Hi, I'm Kelly Pitts.

I don't know if you remember me, but...

Yeah, I remember you.

You're Jason Pitts' wife.

No. Well, yes.

But at this event,

I'm representing Tasha Mack Management.

Are you currently seeking representation?

Mmm, no, but if you could find out

where Tasha gets her weaves done, let me know.

I'm here live with...

three-time Super Bowl...

three-time Super Bowl champ Willie McGinest,

who will be honored tonight at tonight's EPSY Awards.

-Huh? -Huh?

No, not you. Not you, dude.

-What? -What?

Willie, I'm not talking to you, please.

No, I did...

Why'd I say "EPSY"? That doesn't...

Jason, you're supposed to be talking to me,

not the guy in your ear.

Then why's he talking to me?

You're hopeless, man.

So do you have any female clients?

Nope, they don't make enough money.

I'm just playing.

No, you're not, Tasha.

-That's an issue in women's sports. -Yeah.

Hey, hey, the issue is the uniforms.

Uniforms? Excuse me?

Malik, please, baby, we... we're live.

Ma, please, look.

I'm just telling it like it is.

If they want women's sports to be more successful,

you need to get hotter uniforms.

Better yet, no uniforms at all.

That's the most ignorant, sexist thing I've ever heard.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Malik Wright, ladies.

Not to be confused with Mr. Right.

I'm Renee Royce.

You're watching Women Love Sports, Too.

Can't you ever just say "no comment"?

He didn't need to say anything

'cause I wasn't interviewing him.

I was just trying to help your little show get some ratings.

Well, since you're so in the mood for saving sisters,

get a vasectomy.

Nice seeing you again, Tasha.

Malik.

You...

I... I like that girl.

She's strong, she's pithy.

And she's cute.

-Please. -Mm-hmm.

All she got is a big old mouth

to match that big old ass of hers.

Damn, baby, I have missed your smile.

Girl, come on over here

and let me tussle with all that.

(growls)

(giggling)

(door opens)

Mel!

(door closes)

(sighs)

Melanie, baby...

I am this close to getting my first endorsement.

-What? -Oh, yeah.

Irv hooked me up with Chamillionaire,

who's starting his new clothing line.

Baby, this could be huge for me.

Well, that's great, honey.

Uh...

Th-Th-That's great, Mel?

That's all you got for me?

Derwin...

I just don't want you to get too excited.

We are talking about Irv.

You know, Melanie, why do you do that?

Do what?

Stick a pin in my balloon like that.

Baby, I'm just being realistic.

Well, you know, Mel,

after I drive all the way home from L.A.

to share my news of a lifetime with you,

Boo, I don't want to hear realistic, okay?

I want to hear support.

I want to hear that you're excited for me.

All right. All Irv does is talk.

He said he could renegotiate your contract.

Have you heard anything about that?

Oh, and he was going to get you a meeting with Nike.

Derwin, he can't even get you a free pair of socks.

Oh, see, you laughing.

See, Mel, all I'm asking for is that you gas me up sometime.

All right? Let a brother dream. Damn!

Oh, baby. I'm sorry.

Now come on,

let's go dream in bed.

Hi, I'm Jason...

Oh... God, I suck!

-Jason Pitts, man. -Right.

He's a two-time NBA champ, for Pete's sake.

What am I doing?

Come on, Jason.

I have a breakfast meeting with Tasha in four hours.

And I need my sleep if I'm going to digest

all those waffles and chicken.

It's chicken and waffles, babe.

You should know that by now.

And this is more important than Tasha, okay?

We're talking about my retirement plan here.

I should be great at this commentating thing.

I'm smart, I'm articulate,

people don't even recognize I'm black on the phone.

Babe, all these guys on TV,

they've got their personalities, their schtick.

Yeah, well, what's my schtick, Kel?

Glowing stupidity?

Well, nobody's using that.

Go with that.

Good night.

Look, they fit.

Shoot, if we were a couple, we could save money on sneakers.

Come on, stop that now.

Girl, I don't want to see your pretty feet

in no man's footwear.

Let Daddy send you some stilettos.

Mm-mm, those hurt my arches.

Well, let Daddy send you some sensible stilettos.

Ooh, new shoes, a suite at the Angeleno, foreplay.

You treat me so right, Malik Wright.

Baby, that's only 'cause you treat a brother so well.

Girl, it can't be another six months

before Daddy see you again.

Yeah, right, you're just tired of dealing with

those evil skinny girls who are too weak to move

'cause they're dreaming about a sandwich.

Baby, come on, stop that now.

I told you, girl.

Everything in this suite is paid for.

I know them peanut M&Ms and them hot chips are calling you.

I don't eat that stuff anymore.

Can't you tell?

I lost 54 pounds, Malik.

You did?

Yeah, I did.

Baby, you know you look good, girl.

More importantly, I feel good.

My cholesterol level is down 20 points.

My diabetes is type one now.

You got diabetes?

Give me all your sugar. (giggles)

(knocking on door)

Oh, I thought my half a grapefruit would never get here.

Renee, my shoes.

And?

And... they're prototypes, baby.

If somebody sees you in them now

and me in them later, it'll blow our cover.

Oh, right.

Derwin?

Hey, what's up, Dionne?

Hey, you know, I think that you, me and Irv

need to sit down, just get a few things straight.

Okay, what things?

Uh, well, like you telling Irv that I need to be included

in every aspect of this endorsement deal,

since without me, it would have never happened.

Hey, Dionne, I don't know if I want to get between you and Irv.

You don't know if you want to get between me and Irv?

Yeah.

Uh, look, Derwin,

obviously I'm not making myself clear,

'cause this isn't really...

Oh! Dionne, Dionne, you're gonna have to handle it without me.

-I got to go. Good to see you. -No...

No, Derwin, I...

Derwin!

Thank God I got your text.

Congratulations on your first endorsement deal.

Thanks, I can't celebrate just yet.

You know, I've got to be a little realistic.

The deal hasn't closed yet.

Okay, I tell you what.

You be a little realistic and I'll be claiming it

and celebrating it, 'cause it's gonna happen.

-Watch, baby. -Wow.

-Drew, thanks for that. -Got you.

What's up, Rook?

Drew.

Hey, what's up, Malik?

How you been, girl?

Hey, Malik.

You sure been on the West Coast a lot lately.

-I'm performing at the awards show. -Right.

-Yeah. -Right.

You mind if I have a moment alone

to speak to Nipsey Russel here?

Not at all.

I, um, have a fitting anyways.

Talk to you later, all right?

-Cool. -A'ight.

You're messing up, boy.

What?

Your relationship with girl Melanie,

you're jacking it up.

Malik, I keep telling you

that me and Drew are just friends.

Boy, you like a Tyler Perry film.

You got the same damn story every time!

Well, you can't seem to let go of the fact

that Drew wants to give it to me, not the $40 Million Kid.

Ah... so you admit she wants to give it to you.

Damn, Malik, I...

Look, bro, I keep telling you, all right--

we're just friends.

I got, I got nothing to hide.

So please, Malik, bro, just let it go, all right?

Damn, dawg.

Denial just ain't

a river in France no more, huh?

No, it's not.

No, it's not.

I was very impressed with you this morning

at the breakfast meeting.

Thanks.

The way you eat your chicken wings

with a knife and fork-- very classy.

Now, remember to do that.

With every client, it's a potential dollar...

And each dollar...

Hey, there's Derwin.

TASHA: What he think he doing?

I don't know.

We're kinda in that gray area

between breakfast and lunch.

Ah! brunch.

They're having brunch.

He put his hand on the nape of her ass.

That's a universal sign for "we having sex."

That's ridiculous, Tasha.

Okay, a 22-year-old football player

cheating on his fiancee, real ridiculous.

Not sweet-faced, Bible-toting Derwin.

He just doesn't have it in him.

Look!

Look, look, look.

She got her hand on his arm.

And look at all them damn teeth.

He ain't even that funny.

I think Derwin's really funny.

Maybe not... Dave Chappelle funny.

He's more like a mime.

I'm not buying it.

And you know, Melanie

is not helping the situation.

Got him out here all by himself.

Oh!

Bitch got her finger in his eye.

We got to tell Melanie.

Tasha, you're overreacting.

What? She's supposed to just let the eyelash blind him?

Okay, you got an answer for everything.

Let me ask you one thing.

What if that was Jason?

You pay the bill, I'll get the car.

Okay.

(contented sigh)

You okay, baby?

You're awfully quiet.

I mean, I can understand you being speechless,

after the way Daddy just put it on you.

(chuckles)

I just want to make sure nothing's wrong.

Malik, I know hiding out in

these hotel rooms was my idea.

Yup.

It was all your idea.

But the only reason I wanted to hide

was because I don't want people saying

I owe my success to sleeping with athletes.

Right, baby.

People will talk about you.

I also know that part of us hiding

was because I used to be a big girl,

but now that I'm not...

We don't have to hide anymore.

So...

I was hoping that we could

have our first official date tonight.

Mr. Chows at 8:00,

then hit up the party at Clear,

then the party at Hyde, and come back and crash here,

then lay out by the pool and have breakfast tomorrow.

Uh...

Cool, baby. Yeah.

Really?

Yeah, girl.

Tonight at 8:00.

Great.

Mel, I said I got the deal!

MELANIE: Oh, my God! That's fantastic!

Is that better?

Did you like that reaction?

Girl, what you talking about?

(giggling)

I'm gassing you up-- vroom, vroom.

Yeah, whatever, Mel, just get in the car.

I'ma get us a room here at the hotel,

and we're going to hit up Mr. Chow's,

get some of that chicken satay and then

get at one of these ESPY parties. Come on.

Whoa, whoa.

Pump your brakes, baby. I can't.

I have a test tomorrow, and it's gonna at least take me

two hours to get there.

Besides, my hair's a mess,

and I don't even have the right dress.

Um, wait.

(leafing through papers): Let's celebrate...

this Tuesday.

No, wait, that's lab.

Wednesday's better, baby.

Okay, yeah. Uh, Wednesday's cool.

Um... Mel, let me let you get back to studying.

Congratulations, Derwin.

This is really...

So your girl's not coming?

Oh, no, she has to study.

Hmm. Well, fortunately for you

there's a lot of girls here

who don't even know how to read.

Right, pumpkin?

Unfortunately for you, they can see.

No... (giggles)

I mean, that's just some poolside banter, that's all...

Oh, that's fine.

She'll still sleep with me. It's fine.

(knocking at door)

Hey, guys. This is a surprise.

I thought you guys

were staying in L.A. for the awards.

Yeah.

Hey, how's Derwin?

We had some Tasha Mack Management business

here in San Diego and thought we'd come by

and see what you were up to.

Yeah, we had some Tasha Mack Management business here

in San Diego, so we thought we'd stop by

to see what you were up to.

All right, what's going on, ladies?

What? We can't just check up on our girl?

Yeah! How's Derwin?

He's great.

Oh, he just got a big endorsement deal.

That's great.

So where you guys celebrating tonight?

Oh, we're not.

He wanted me to come to L.A., but I have a test tomorrow.

So we're gonna celebrate this Wednesday.

I just wasn't prepared.

You know, my hair, my nails, and, God, my toes.

Girl, if you were a lightbulb, you'd be two watt.

I told you when I first met you

that there are women out here

hoing for Hummers, homes and hedge funds.

Did I not?

She did.

Derwin is not interested in those women.

And he hates Hummers.

And if you want to keep it that way,

maybe you shouldn't be too busy

to celebrate the biggest moment in his career.

Derwin knows I have to study.

Look at it from his point of view.

Studying trumps tonight,

his proposal on national television...

And on top of that, you don't mind him being "friends"

with a girl who shakes her ass in a music video

wearing nothing but La Perla drawers,

a fierce white mink coat, and baby, did you see the ice?

Oh, okay. You guys saw Drew's video.

Look, I know it looks like something's going on,

but it's not. They're friends.

They're just working together.

Sweetie, black women are always complaining

about finding a good black man.

Well, you have one.

Lock him down, before one of mine gets to him.

Melanie...

Look...

Now, I know you didn't want to get married

right now because you were worried about losing yourself,

but what you need to be worried about

is losing Derwin.

If you love that boy, you better show him.

DERWIN: Hello?

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

You coming home soon?

I hadn't planned on it.

Well, could you?

Why?

Well, I want us to talk--

face-to-face.

Talk about what?

(sighs)

About us getting married,

and I was hoping

you would come home soon and...

ask me to marry you... again.

So I could do it right this time.

Derwin?

Uh... Y-Yeah, yeah, Mel.

W-Where, where's all this coming from?

Look, Derwin,

good things are happening for you,

and I want to be on that ride with you, because I love you.

You do know I love you, don't you?

Well, if you love me, then why aren't you

riding up to L.A. to propose to me?

Because it's not usually done that way.

Oh. Oh, okay.

So, so, so how is it done, Melanie? Huh?

'Cause I did it on one knee in front of the whole stadium,

and obviously that wasn't the right way.

I don't know, I...

I guess it just took a moment for me to realize that...

To realize what?

Huh?

That big endorsement means big money?

Derwin,

is that what you really think of me?

Melanie, I don't know what to think anymore.

Hello, I'm the girl who just retired her bus pass.

You know what, Melanie, this...

is a conversation that we need to have in person.

So why don't we just talk about it

when I get back tomorrow?

Yeah.

Okay.

(sighs) Wow.

Hey, you okay?

Yeah, I'm good.

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