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1
00:00:01,802 --> 00:00:02,842
Oh, I get it, Mom.
2
00:00:02,903 --> 00:00:06,313
Everything I've done
since I left home is wrong.
3
00:00:06,374 --> 00:00:07,514
So how would you feel
4
00:00:07,575 --> 00:00:09,875
if Derwin and I
came home for Christmas?
5
00:00:09,943 --> 00:00:12,953
Yes, Derwin has to come, too.
6
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:16,723
No, Mom. He's not abusive,
and I'm not under his thumb.
7
00:00:16,784 --> 00:00:17,654
(key rattling in lock)
8
00:00:17,718 --> 00:00:20,518
Oh, my God! He's home!
I got to go!
9
00:00:20,588 --> 00:00:22,718
("Jingle Bells" playing
in background)
10
00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:25,330
Welcome home, baby!
11
00:00:25,393 --> 00:00:29,733
Oh, I'm sorry you
lost your game.
12
00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:31,027
I thought
a Christmas tree
13
00:00:31,099 --> 00:00:33,029
might cheer you up!
14
00:00:33,101 --> 00:00:35,271
* Oh, what fun it is to ride *
15
00:00:35,336 --> 00:00:37,906
* In a one-horse open sleigh *
16
00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:39,471
* Jingle bells *
17
00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:43,010
This tree looks
just like how I feel.
18
00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:44,677
* Jingle all the way... *
19
00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:46,375
Oh, so you fell off a car
20
00:00:46,447 --> 00:00:48,947
and accidentally got dragged
all the way home, too?
21
00:00:49,016 --> 00:00:51,146
(laughs)
22
00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:53,719
Can't believe
we lost that game, Mel.
23
00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:55,417
Oh, baby,
24
00:00:55,489 --> 00:00:57,789
I know you're sad
the season's over.
25
00:00:57,858 --> 00:01:00,558
But at least now we get to spend
some quality time together
26
00:01:00,628 --> 00:01:02,058
over the holidays.
27
00:01:02,130 --> 00:01:03,460
I told my mom we
might spend Christmas
28
00:01:03,531 --> 00:01:05,471
in Connecticut
with them.
29
00:01:05,533 --> 00:01:08,443
I thought you were trying
to cheer me up.
30
00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:11,112
Derwin, there's no
better time than Christmas
31
00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:12,912
to try and
patch things up.
32
00:01:12,973 --> 00:01:16,183
There's something about eggnog
that makes people want to talk.
33
00:01:16,244 --> 00:01:18,414
Yeah. It's called rum.
34
00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:23,179
Boo, I don't want
to be the Grinch,
35
00:01:23,251 --> 00:01:24,551
but I can't
visit your parents.
36
00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:26,488
Come on. I know
it's freezing,
37
00:01:26,554 --> 00:01:28,794
and we can't sleep together,
and my parents hate you...
38
00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:33,134
...but it'll be fun!
39
00:01:33,194 --> 00:01:36,404
No, Boo, my season's
not over yet.
40
00:01:36,464 --> 00:01:38,404
That was your last game.
41
00:01:38,466 --> 00:01:40,126
Of the regular season.
42
00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:41,741
We could still
make the playoffs.
43
00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:44,942
If L.A. wins this weekend, we
go to the Wild Card game,
44
00:01:45,005 --> 00:01:46,935
so we still
got to practice.
45
00:01:47,007 --> 00:01:49,407
I'm sorry, Boo, but, hey,
the important thing is
46
00:01:49,477 --> 00:01:50,877
we'll still be
together, right?
47
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:53,214
-I guess.
-Plus...
48
00:01:53,281 --> 00:01:57,291
you got your girls--
the Sunbeams.
49
00:01:57,351 --> 00:02:00,151
Yeah, you're right.
50
00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:02,761
It can still be Christmas
in San Diego.
51
00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:04,293
That's my girl.
52
00:02:04,358 --> 00:02:06,888
But, if I can't
go home for Christmas,
53
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,630
I want a bracelet.
54
00:02:08,696 --> 00:02:09,896
Excuse me?
55
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:14,303
I'm sorry, but I can't
leave that up to chance, too.
56
00:02:25,413 --> 00:02:27,223
Everybody, bring it in!
57
00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:29,221
Listen up!
58
00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:31,453
I know spirits
are a little low,
59
00:02:31,519 --> 00:02:33,349
but we're not out of this.
60
00:02:33,421 --> 00:02:34,961
And, while we can't control
what happens
61
00:02:35,022 --> 00:02:35,992
between L.A. and Seattle,
62
00:02:36,056 --> 00:02:38,456
we can control how we stay
together as a team.
63
00:02:38,526 --> 00:02:39,926
-That's right.
-We need to become one person.
64
00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:42,163
One heartbeat.
65
00:02:42,230 --> 00:02:44,430
To... gether.
66
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,598
-Yes, sir. -Uh-huh.
-Yes, sir.
67
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,297
Now, when I was a rookie...
68
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:53,413
...I learned of a Saber ritual
for times like these.
69
00:02:53,474 --> 00:02:55,714
Please let it be hookers.
Please let it be hookers.
70
00:02:55,776 --> 00:02:57,706
Trent?
71
00:02:57,778 --> 00:03:00,848
For the last time,
just get a divorce.
72
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:02,484
Okay?
73
00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:04,390
I'm talking
about showers.
74
00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:07,422
We don't take any till after
the L.A. game on Sunday.
75
00:03:07,488 --> 00:03:10,088
We keep these jerseys on,
we practice in them,
76
00:03:10,157 --> 00:03:11,557
we eat in them,
we sleep in them.
77
00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:13,185
They become our skin.
You guys with me?!
78
00:03:13,261 --> 00:03:14,191
-Yeah!
-Who's with me?!
79
00:03:14,262 --> 00:03:15,402
-Yeah!
-Malik?
80
00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:16,663
Malik, you with me?
81
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:18,730
Man, I ain't doing all that.
82
00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:22,595
This is
about solidarity.
83
00:03:22,670 --> 00:03:24,470
One mind, one person,
one heartbeat...
84
00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:26,108
One load of crap.
85
00:03:26,173 --> 00:03:28,743
Dawgs,
I got an image to keep up.
86
00:03:28,809 --> 00:03:33,079
And nowhere in that image is me
smelling like a turkey burger.
87
00:03:33,146 --> 00:03:34,316
This ain't about you.
This is about
88
00:03:34,382 --> 00:03:35,682
a little thing
called brotherhood.
89
00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:39,349
Don't you have to be a brother
to be in a brotherhood?
90
00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:41,560
See? See? There it is.
91
00:03:41,622 --> 00:03:43,292
That's that same jackass
you been all year,
92
00:03:43,357 --> 00:03:47,757
and honestly, that's why nobody
on the team likes you. Hmm...
93
00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:54,072
Come on, y'all ease up on Malik.
94
00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:55,274
Shut up, rookie.
95
00:03:55,336 --> 00:03:56,896
I don't need you
defending me.
96
00:03:56,970 --> 00:03:59,440
I don't care which one of
y'all like me or not.
97
00:03:59,507 --> 00:04:00,807
This ain't grade school!
98
00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:03,984
This is my job, and I
do's my job very well.
99
00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:05,854
So y'all can kick rocks.
100
00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:10,553
Fine. Fine. We don't make it
to the playoffs, it's on you.
101
00:04:12,052 --> 00:04:12,852
Yo, Malik.
102
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:13,920
What, rookie?
103
00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:17,787
You know why I always
thought you was cool?
104
00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:20,328
Because I saw you
as a leader of this team.
105
00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:23,004
But a leader wouldn't
leave his boys hanging.
106
00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:24,733
What you saying?
107
00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:27,298
I'm saying...
108
00:04:27,368 --> 00:04:29,538
Here's your jockstrap.
109
00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:32,468
No, wait.
110
00:04:35,142 --> 00:04:36,842
Here. This one's yours.
111
00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:40,980
I used to be proud
to wear this on my head.
112
00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:42,618
Not anymore.
113
00:04:42,683 --> 00:04:44,723
Not anymore!
114
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,221
We have to keep
our guys' spirits up
115
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,619
during these trying times.
116
00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:54,661
That means no fighting,
no weight gain... Lisa.
117
00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:58,828
And PMS only stands for
"Playoffs Mean Sacrifice."
118
00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:01,569
Jason's got the team
giving up something,
119
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,165
so, in the spirit
of solidarity,
120
00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:06,136
I suggest that we all
sacrifice something, too.
121
00:05:06,206 --> 00:05:06,966
(murmuring agreement)
122
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:09,810
So, until after
the game on Sunday,
123
00:05:09,877 --> 00:05:12,177
-no shopping.
-(all grumbling)
124
00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:13,375
Well, pick
another sacrifice.
125
00:05:13,447 --> 00:05:14,777
Just because Big Lots
126
00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:16,778
isn't having
their half-yearly sale,
127
00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:19,550
don't be trying
to punish the rest of us.
128
00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:23,764
Well, what else
do we really care about?
129
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,928
How about alcohol?
130
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:28,534
Yeah.
131
00:05:28,596 --> 00:05:29,796
How about you leave?
132
00:05:29,863 --> 00:05:32,773
How about you leave
and never come back?!
133
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,795
Slow your roll, Betty Ford.
134
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:39,040
Just think of it as
The 12 Steps of Christmas.
135
00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:40,666
-Yeah.
-Yeah. -Yeah.
136
00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:43,211
Fine.
137
00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:46,076
Witches.
138
00:05:46,146 --> 00:05:48,676
And, while we're on the subject
of Christmas,
139
00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:50,849
where is Christmas around here?
140
00:05:50,918 --> 00:05:52,888
You haven't
decorated your tree,
141
00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:54,563
I haven't heard about a party,
142
00:05:54,622 --> 00:05:56,022
and have we even
hired a Santa?
143
00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:57,359
You know,
for the kids.
144
00:05:57,425 --> 00:06:00,125
Look, Med School, Christmas
is going to have to wait.
145
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:03,033
Now, until we find out whether
or not we got the Wild Card,
146
00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:05,696
the Saber family's going to be
in a holiday holding pattern.
147
00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:06,696
-That's right.
-Mm-hmm.
148
00:06:06,767 --> 00:06:09,867
You can't put Christmas on hold.
149
00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:12,707
Don't you get tired
of protesting at every meeting?
150
00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:16,383
It's not like we won't
have a Christmas.
151
00:06:16,444 --> 00:06:17,984
If Seattle gets the crap
kicked out of them,
152
00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,505
it'll be the greatest
Christmas ever!
153
00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:20,910
(murmuring agreement)
154
00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:23,421
What kind of people
base their happiness
155
00:06:23,484 --> 00:06:25,054
on someone else's sadness?
156
00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:27,458
This is crazy!
157
00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:29,561
You come in here wearing a Rerun
158
00:06:29,623 --> 00:06:31,363
from What's Happening!!
beanie...
159
00:06:31,425 --> 00:06:33,925
(all laughing)
160
00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:36,464
...and we're crazy?
No, no, no.
161
00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:38,030
Melanie, just sit down.
162
00:06:38,098 --> 00:06:40,768
You left yourself a little
too open with the beret.
163
00:06:44,638 --> 00:06:46,308
Not a team player?
(scoffs)
164
00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:49,043
What? I am the team.
165
00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:50,539
Hey, man.
166
00:06:50,611 --> 00:06:52,281
You're mama's not a glass maker.
167
00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:53,975
I can't see the TVs.
168
00:07:01,354 --> 00:07:02,964
Is that better?
169
00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:05,633
Man, why can't you
just take a shower,
170
00:07:05,693 --> 00:07:07,763
and stop oppressing me?
171
00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:12,168
You know that
I cannot take a shower, you...!
172
00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:13,972
What you mean,
you can't take a shower?
173
00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:15,844
Something wrong
with the plumbing?
174
00:07:15,903 --> 00:07:19,643
Tee Tee, I told you about
using all of that toilet paper.
175
00:07:19,707 --> 00:07:22,907
It's not me this time, Ms. Mack.
Talk to your boy.
176
00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:26,476
Jason's lemon head got
the whole team all pumped up
177
00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:27,777
on some not-taking-showers
ritual
178
00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:29,148
until after
the L.A. game.
179
00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:30,716
You didn't tell them
you have OCD?
180
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:33,294
Ma, a pro football locker room
ain't the place to admit
181
00:07:33,353 --> 00:07:35,923
that if I don't take five
showers a day, I freak out.
182
00:07:35,989 --> 00:07:37,659
I offered
to give him a sponge bath,
183
00:07:37,725 --> 00:07:39,925
and sing that old
Peabo Bryson song you like.
184
00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:44,603
Malik, what are
you going to do?
185
00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:46,965
I'm going to man up.
186
00:07:47,034 --> 00:07:49,074
I don't want nobody thinking
I ain't about the team, Ma.
187
00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:52,136
I can smell like trash
for a couple days.
188
00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:53,605
Look, I'm not
189
00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:54,884
going to have you
running around here
190
00:07:54,942 --> 00:07:57,982
sweating, scratching, and
shaking like a crackhead.
191
00:07:59,613 --> 00:08:02,823
Look, you need to go
tell Jason the truth.
192
00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:05,053
No. I'm not going
to give him the satisfaction.
193
00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:06,988
I'm just going
to suffer through it.
194
00:08:07,054 --> 00:08:09,994
Tee Tee, call Jason
and tell him I'm in.
195
00:08:10,057 --> 00:08:13,987
Now, if y'all will excuse me,
I'm going to throw up.
196
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:17,928
Lift the seat, baby.
197
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:18,828
(chuckles)
198
00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:20,999
Yeah, that's nasty.
199
00:08:22,536 --> 00:08:24,866
(door opening)
200
00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:27,608
Hey, what's up, Mel?
201
00:08:27,675 --> 00:08:31,275
What happened
to that Charlie Brown tree?
202
00:08:31,344 --> 00:08:34,684
I thought a cactus was more
appropriate for San Diego.
203
00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:38,218
Thorny, dried out, heartless.
204
00:08:38,284 --> 00:08:40,554
Merry Christmas!
205
00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:43,761
What's wrong with you?
206
00:08:43,823 --> 00:08:46,633
Derwin, I was all onboard
for having a Christmas
207
00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:48,034
with you and the Sunbeams,
208
00:08:48,095 --> 00:08:51,495
but apparently football
trumps everything around here.
209
00:08:51,565 --> 00:08:54,195
Yeah. Because
we're football players.
210
00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:56,467
We play football.
211
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:59,106
Look, I called the front office,
and I...
212
00:08:59,172 --> 00:09:00,312
Oh...!
213
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,913
You called my job?
214
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:03,976
Yes.
215
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,254
And I found out you'll be done
practicing Christmas Eve,
216
00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:07,783
so we can fly home and
217
00:09:07,848 --> 00:09:10,278
at least spend Christmas Day
with my parents.
218
00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:12,920
Melanie, no.
219
00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:15,756
But I'm just trying to make
this work for both of us.
220
00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:17,793
No, you're trying to
make this work for you.
221
00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:20,458
Look, baby, I am not going
nowhere Christmas Eve.
222
00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:22,827
Me and the team is going to be
watching the L.A. game together.
223
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,326
It's a solidarity thing.
224
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:27,797
Now I can't go home because
you have to watch TV? (scoffs)
225
00:09:27,868 --> 00:09:30,538
Hey, Melanie, why is it so hard
for you to understand
226
00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:32,744
that this is
important to me?
227
00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:34,066
Baby, I am this
close to making it
228
00:09:34,141 --> 00:09:36,181
-to the playoffs my rookie year!
-Okay, fine.
229
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:39,013
You do what's important to you
for Christmas, and stay here,
230
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:41,079
and I'll do what's important
to me, and go home.
231
00:09:41,148 --> 00:09:44,748
I've never missed a
Christmas with my family.
232
00:09:44,818 --> 00:09:47,288
Then you'll be
batting a thousand.
233
00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:49,024
Go home.
234
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,689
Fine. I will.
235
00:09:50,758 --> 00:09:51,658
Good. Go!
236
00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:52,555
I am!
237
00:09:52,626 --> 00:09:54,226
You should!
238
00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:55,264
Derwin?
239
00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:56,298
So...
240
00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,973
just to be clear,
you're not coming?
241
00:10:05,305 --> 00:10:07,975
-(water running) -JASON: Ho, ho!
I hear water running.
242
00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:10,281
I knew you were trying
to do this...
243
00:10:11,645 --> 00:10:14,575
Oh, oh, I was just, uh...
244
00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:16,978
I thought, uh...
245
00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:19,550
Just leave me alone, man.
246
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,819
Sure, I'll just
leave you alone
247
00:10:20,888 --> 00:10:24,018
now that I see that you're
not acting weird or anything.
248
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:26,828
Turn the water
off, man.
249
00:10:26,894 --> 00:10:29,164
I'm about to jump in it.
Turn it off!
250
00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:31,159
Ooh, dude, ooh!
251
00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:33,131
What is going on?
252
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:37,100
You do something I'm going
to hear about on the news?
253
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:40,470
I got OCD, man.
254
00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:42,810
If I don't take, like,
a million showers a day,
255
00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:44,236
I'm all messed up.
256
00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:46,381
Are you serious?
257
00:10:46,446 --> 00:10:51,416
Man, your water bill
must be out of this world.
258
00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:54,790
I'm sorry, I just...
259
00:10:54,855 --> 00:10:56,315
I'm sorry.
260
00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:59,029
Why didn't you just
say something, man?
261
00:10:59,092 --> 00:10:59,862
Dawg,
262
00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:01,357
I'm Malik Wright, man.
263
00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:03,198
I don't show weakness.
264
00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:04,873
No, dude, you do
whatever you need to do
265
00:11:04,932 --> 00:11:05,932
to get yourself right.
266
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,299
I'll cover for you
with the team.
267
00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:08,467
Just...
268
00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:10,135
Hell, no, man.
269
00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:11,913
Look...
270
00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:13,772
I don't need no happy-face-
sticker-looking fool
271
00:11:13,841 --> 00:11:15,241
covering for me.
272
00:11:15,308 --> 00:11:19,008
No, you need to give Leroy
from Fame his headband back.
273
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,180
Are we going to keep going there
or am I going to help you?
274
00:11:23,250 --> 00:11:25,520
'Cause you're in a bad state.
You look like crap, dude.
275
00:11:25,585 --> 00:11:26,615
And you're playing worse.
276
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:27,816
You just do you, man,
all right?
277
00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:29,918
I want my boys to know that
I care about this squad
278
00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:32,160
just as much as anybody else.
279
00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:33,955
And as bad
as I want to shower...
280
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:35,227
(ragged breathing)
281
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:39,325
...I want that ring
a thousand times more.
282
00:11:39,399 --> 00:11:41,669
I respect that.
283
00:11:41,735 --> 00:11:44,135
I respect that, man.
284
00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:50,176
But for real, man,
how much is your water bill?
285
00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:52,853
("The First Noel" instrumental
plays in background)
286
00:11:52,913 --> 00:11:54,983
Careful, dear.
287
00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:57,848
Yeah, we wouldn't want
any Yuletide mishaps
288
00:11:57,918 --> 00:11:59,588
that would make me
an only child.
289
00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:02,392
Son, you're already dead to us.
290
00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:04,115
MELANIE (laughing):
It's okay, Dad.
291
00:12:04,191 --> 00:12:08,461
Cameron, even your insults
couldn't mess up this Christmas.
292
00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:10,328
I love everything, Mom.
293
00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:11,727
It's perfect!
294
00:12:11,799 --> 00:12:13,769
Yes, it is. Ooh!
295
00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:15,974
Now that you're home.
296
00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:17,596
Alone.
297
00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:19,270
Honestly, Melanie,
298
00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:21,209
I was not in the space
to deal with your friend.
299
00:12:21,274 --> 00:12:23,844
Yeah, I heard ol'
boy is 'roided up,
300
00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:25,451
and putting
hands on you.
301
00:12:25,512 --> 00:12:27,352
Got you stripping
on poles
302
00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:30,224
and stuff.
303
00:12:30,283 --> 00:12:31,723
Cameron, enough.
304
00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:34,045
What? Mom said.
305
00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:37,961
Oh, all that matters is,
we're together.
306
00:12:38,025 --> 00:12:39,825
Now, the star's on the tree,
307
00:12:39,893 --> 00:12:42,433
so we can each open
our Christmas Eve gift.
308
00:12:42,495 --> 00:12:44,695
Cameron, this one
has your name on it.
309
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,804
Ah, it's heavy.
310
00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:50,267
Maybe it's your
missing personality.
311
00:12:50,337 --> 00:12:51,807
(pager beeping)
312
00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:53,842
Well, duty calls.
313
00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:55,207
James, can't it wait?
314
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,605
Melanie's home.
It's Christmas Eve.
315
00:12:57,677 --> 00:13:00,847
Do you think Mr. Tanaka's heart
knows that it's Christmas Eve?
316
00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:02,024
We're about to open the gifts.
317
00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:03,352
Excuse me, Grace,
318
00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:06,386
if the only gift I have to give
tonight is the gift of life.
319
00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:08,993
I'll see you kids
in the morning.
320
00:13:09,056 --> 00:13:10,316
Bye, Dad.
I love you.
321
00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:11,520
Dad!
322
00:13:11,591 --> 00:13:12,661
What are you doing?
323
00:13:12,725 --> 00:13:14,085
I told you, that's gay.
324
00:13:14,161 --> 00:13:18,301
Says the boy who asked
for earrings for Christmas.
325
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:32,253
Mom, are you okay?
326
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:34,882
This is a good object lesson
for you, Melanie.
327
00:13:34,948 --> 00:13:36,648
This is what your life
will be like
328
00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:41,546
if you're with a man
whose career always comes first.
329
00:13:44,091 --> 00:13:46,031
(door closes)
330
00:13:46,093 --> 00:13:48,233
Don't worry, Mel.
331
00:13:48,295 --> 00:13:52,725
I mean, Derwin's career
will be over in five years.
332
00:13:52,799 --> 00:13:55,599
Who are we kidding?
Three, tops.
333
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:58,008
(laughing):
Right?
334
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:05,583
(crowd cheering on TV)
335
00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:06,905
(whistle blows)
336
00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:08,350
-No!
-(all groaning)
337
00:14:08,415 --> 00:14:09,515
No!
338
00:14:09,582 --> 00:14:10,882
Hell, no!
339
00:14:10,951 --> 00:14:12,121
Damn!
340
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:15,715
Hey, hey, Erica,
more beer over here.
341
00:14:15,788 --> 00:14:19,888
Anyone got a cyanide pill
I can put into this?
342
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,630
I'll take it to him.
343
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,864
Nice try, booze bag.
344
00:14:26,499 --> 00:14:28,839
I've never seen a game
with so many blown calls, man.
345
00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:30,372
It don't matter nohow.
346
00:14:30,437 --> 00:14:33,167
Even if we did make it there,
the way Malik
347
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:34,370
been stankin' it up
all week,
348
00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:36,541
we'd still get our asses
handed to us.
349
00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:37,509
Hold on, hold on, fellas.
350
00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:39,007
We can't put everything off
on Malik.
351
00:14:39,079 --> 00:14:41,479
The hell we can't, man.
Trent's right.
352
00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:43,918
Malik, you've been playing
like a little bitch all week.
353
00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:44,924
Yeah.
354
00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:46,315
Okay, you crossed the line now.
355
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:47,916
I didn't raise no little bitch.
356
00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:51,162
Malik has more heart
than all of y'all.
357
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:52,434
Ma, it's cool.
Just let it go.
358
00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:54,432
No, I let it go
too long already.
359
00:14:54,494 --> 00:14:56,434
-Malik's got OCD.
-Ma!
360
00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:58,296
If he doesn't take
five showers a day,
361
00:14:58,365 --> 00:15:00,165
he gets the shakes.
He can't focus.
362
00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:02,073
That's why he's been
off his game all week.
363
00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:05,235
Mm-mm, mm-mm,
she lying, y'all.
364
00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:06,365
OCD?
365
00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:10,379
Oh, so now you've got
Babe Ruth's disease?
366
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:14,454
Okay, first of all, Trent,
367
00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:17,554
you need to sue
the Mississippi school system.
368
00:15:18,952 --> 00:15:21,122
Secondly,
Tasha is telling the truth.
369
00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:23,718
He does have OCD, but he
is sticking it out for us.
370
00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:25,960
For the team.
371
00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:30,196
Damn, Tasha,
how long he got?
372
00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:35,542
Now y'all see
what I'm dealing with?
373
00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:37,942
("O Come All Ye Faithful"
instrumental playing)
374
00:15:38,005 --> 00:15:39,265
(sighs)
375
00:15:48,348 --> 00:15:51,878
I guess we're going to have
to talk to each other, huh?
376
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,721
God, this Christmas sucks.
377
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:59,427
GRACE: Since your father can't
be here with us again,
378
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:02,532
I thought we'd crack open
the 30-year-old cognac
379
00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:04,325
he's been saving
for his retirement--
380
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:06,167
which he'll never do.
381
00:16:06,233 --> 00:16:07,833
Mom, why are
you so upset?
382
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:10,670
Dad always has emergencies
that come up on holidays.
383
00:16:10,737 --> 00:16:12,667
And I've always been upset.
384
00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:15,439
But I kept that from you
because you were children.
385
00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:20,548
But the truth is,
I'm lonely.
386
00:16:20,613 --> 00:16:22,453
Hell, the only reason
I got pregnant with Cameron
387
00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:24,775
was so that I could
have some company.
388
00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:27,391
And you see how well
that turned out?
389
00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:35,528
Mom, I know it's hard,
but Dad loves you.
390
00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:37,025
He just has a
very important job
391
00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:38,667
where a lot of people
depend on him.
392
00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:41,231
And let's face it, that's
part of why you love him.
393
00:16:41,301 --> 00:16:43,371
It's like with
me and Der...
394
00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:45,036
What?
395
00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:50,209
I just realized that's the
same reason I love Derwin.
396
00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:53,677
Oh, for God's sakes, Melanie,
I'm depressed enough.
397
00:16:53,746 --> 00:16:55,816
No, Mom, it's true.
398
00:16:55,882 --> 00:16:58,152
If they weren't passionate
about what they do,
399
00:16:58,218 --> 00:16:59,348
they'd be boring.
400
00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:01,889
Dad's not here for you
on Christmas Eve,
401
00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:04,394
but would you trade him
for anyone else?
402
00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:08,597
Well, Al Roker did lose
all that weight.
403
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:12,626
Melanie, I just want you
to learn from my life,
404
00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:15,999
and I want you to have
a man who's there for you.
405
00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:17,499
I do, Mom.
406
00:17:17,569 --> 00:17:20,469
Only now I'm not
there for him.
407
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:24,940
I was so busy nagging Derwin
about putting work first,
408
00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:26,551
but the reality is,
pretty soon
409
00:17:26,613 --> 00:17:28,013
that's going to be
my pager going off
410
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:29,280
in the middle
of Christmas,
411
00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:31,649
and it'll be his turn
to understand.
412
00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:35,286
I've got to call him.
413
00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:39,085
Oh, God.
I've failed as a mother.
414
00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:41,793
Oh, yeah.
415
00:17:44,131 --> 00:17:45,931
I'm telling you
that it's okay.
416
00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:47,228
I-I told you,
417
00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:48,470
I'm not going to
ruin the tradition.
418
00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:49,865
You're foaming
at the mouth, man.
419
00:17:49,936 --> 00:17:50,866
Take a shower.
420
00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:54,337
One mind... one person.
421
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:57,607
I think my armpits
are swelling.
422
00:17:57,677 --> 00:18:02,217
(cell phone ringing)
423
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:04,152
Hello.
424
00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:06,087
MELANIE:
Hey, baby!
425
00:18:06,153 --> 00:18:07,653
I'm sorry about everything.
426
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:11,060
Um, I was just talking
to my mom about us, and...
427
00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:12,134
you were right.
428
00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:13,162
JASON: You know what?
L.A. is losing.
429
00:18:13,226 --> 00:18:14,356
-I'm so sorry.
-New tradition.
430
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:15,497
-I should be there with you.
-Everybody in the pool!
431
00:18:15,562 --> 00:18:16,902
Clothes and all!
Let's go!
432
00:18:16,963 --> 00:18:17,933
I love you.
433
00:18:17,997 --> 00:18:19,927
Melanie, I love you, too,
but I gotta call you back.
434
00:18:19,999 --> 00:18:21,929
We're jumping in the pool
for Malik's OCD.
435
00:18:22,001 --> 00:18:23,571
His what?
436
00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:25,436
(water splashing,
players whooping)
437
00:18:25,505 --> 00:18:28,805
They're gonna leave a dirty ass
ring in your pool, watch.
438
00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:30,275
Kelly?
439
00:18:30,343 --> 00:18:32,153
-(slurping)
-Kelly!
440
00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:34,112
(water splashing)
441
00:18:34,181 --> 00:18:36,051
I have OCD, too.
442
00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:37,475
What?
443
00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:39,250
I'm nervous, Tasha!
444
00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:40,849
This game is stressful.
445
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:45,290
So, back up, bitch,
and hand me my Chardonnay.
446
00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:48,498
All right, here it is.
Come on L.A.! Come on!
447
00:18:48,561 --> 00:18:49,831
(shouting)
448
00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:51,526
(all cheering)
449
00:18:51,598 --> 00:18:54,328
(whooping)
450
00:18:54,401 --> 00:18:55,701
Whoa, we're in, baby!
451
00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:56,568
Wild Card!
452
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:57,636
That's it! That's it!
453
00:18:57,704 --> 00:18:59,214
That's why we jump in pools.
454
00:18:59,272 --> 00:19:00,212
It's all about being a team.
455
00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:01,373
Now give me some love!
456
00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:03,511
(all whooping and cheering)
457
00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:07,181
That's enough love!
That's enough love!
458
00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:08,547
Now where's my wife?
459
00:19:08,615 --> 00:19:10,015
MALIK:
Where you at, Ma?!
460
00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:11,782
Right here, Boo!
461
00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:13,791
(joyous laughter)
462
00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:26,931
(raucous laughter)
463
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:34,310
(laughter and chatter continue)
464
00:19:37,210 --> 00:19:38,750
Merry Christmas, baby.
465
00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:40,751
Hi.
466
00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:42,353
-Mm...
-Oh...
467
00:19:43,716 --> 00:19:45,176
Mm...
468
00:19:45,252 --> 00:19:47,992
Oh, you got the
tree back!
469
00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:49,364
Yeah.
470
00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:53,662
Amazingly, nobody claimed it
from the trash pile out front.
471
00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:55,856
Well, from now on, the
only Christmas tradition
472
00:19:55,928 --> 00:19:58,728
I want us to have is that
we spend it together.
473
00:19:58,798 --> 00:19:59,928
Deal?
474
00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:01,729
Please.
475
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:04,371
You just came back
for your bracelet.
476
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:09,010
Did you get it?
477
00:20:09,075 --> 00:20:11,735
(screaming and laughing)
478
00:20:11,811 --> 00:20:13,011
Merry Christmas.
479
00:20:13,079 --> 00:20:15,879
MELANIE: Mm, Merry Christmas
to you, too.
480
00:20:15,929 --> 00:20:20,479
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