Original subtitles

- Police! - [Grunts]

- [Gunshot] - [Bill] Police officer! Freeze!

Don't move! Drop the gun!

Laurence "Turk" Allison, Turkey, Texas.

That's why they call me Turk.

If I don't fit your dream book of hero cops, tough.

I don't like either one of 'em. They're both killers.

And you don't care if it's Turk or Briscoe.

What are you doing?

Where can I find Briscoe? I'm gonna kill him.

There's a contract out on him right now. That's right.

- You drop the case, and Turk is dead. - [Gunshots]

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[Woman On P.A.] Flight 69, flight 6-9 for Miami,

now loading at Gate 12.

Flight 1084 from Dallas, due at 10:26, on time.

You think I could write a song about that?

I'm gonna write a letter of complaint to the chief. What's the matter, Pep?

This is a job for the marshal's office, serving subpoenas.

Need I remind madam...

that we'll have to take Blau over to the D.A.'s office when he shows up?

Couldn't we just call a cab, give him directions, and call it a day?

Need I remind you that I was up till 3:00 this morning chasing down pimps?

You have a tough life, Pep. You know that?

Listen, we need Fred Blau and you know it.

He testifies, we've got this real estate deal in our hands. Yeah, I know.

He's here to talk a deal with the heavies. He's scared.

We'll just snatch him, make our own little deal. So it's the heavies or us.

Well, he planned to rip off a million dollars on a phony city project.

He ain't legit anymore. He deserves a little squeeze.

[Woman On P.A.] Flight 32, flight 3-2 from Chicago,

now arriving at Gate 11.

[Bill] This is the flight.

[Woman On P.A.] Flight 69, flight 6-9 for Miami,

now loading at Gate 12.

There he is. Gray suit, dark glasses.

[Woman On P.A.] Baggage for passengers who arrived on Flight 1550...

can now be claimed at the baggage area.

[Grunting]

- [Groans] - [Onlookers Screaming]

Police officers! Freeze!

Police! Don't move.

Drop the gun.

Be careful of that thing. Sometimes it goes off.

So I noticed.

That fella was fixin' to do something naughty.

[Handcuffs Ratchet]

How long are they planning on keeping us down here?

I checked upstairs. Paint's still wet.

They've got you sitting right outside the men's room.

It's one of the few places you guys really know what you're doing.

Sit down. Allison, wasn't it?

Standing's fine. Airplane seats have a way of cramping up a body.

Listen, man, you're not in any position to call the shots. Now, sit down.

Hey, look, little buddy. When I sit on my hands, my fingers go to sleep.

Now you take these shackles off me, I'll sit for a full-length portrait.

Hey, Bill, how long before we're gonna be able to split?

I mean, they've got Pep next to the little boys' room. I know, Pete.

What did you find in his luggage?

One pair of pants, two pair of cowboy boots.

And this was found in one of the boots. Another .357 Magnum, huh?

Well, that's very sincere indeed.

I never did like those little bitty guns.

I think you might find this interesting.

You're a cop?

I was a cop, until it got too dangerous.

- For you or for them? - I reckon it was touch and go.

Lawrence "Turk" Allison.

Male, Caucasian, 6'3", 195.

Date of birth, 1/11/38... Turkey, Texas?

Yeah. That's why they call me Turk.

Entered Houston Police Department, 3/10/58.

Retired, medical pension, 3/4/74.

Private investigator. License 6285, issued June last year.

He's got a gun permit, issued here July 12th of last year.

A permit to carry a gun is not a license to kill.

All right, Allison, I'll tell you what I'll do.

I'll sit still for self-defense.

You just tell me why you had to defend yourself. Who's your client?

Now Mr. Crowley, wouldn't we call that privileged information?

Don't get cute with me, Allison.

Look, as far as I'm concerned, you're on the other side of the street.

Now I want some answers. Are you getting my message?

I hope it doesn't rain again tonight. Would you like some coffee, Allison?

You're not gonna pull that good cop-bad cop routine on me, are ya?

If so, I hope you're the good cop.

I guess it's the same rules everywhere, just different ballparks.

Fred Blau was an important witness to us.

What's your connection with him?

Bodyguard.

Well, there are some pretty rough people out after him.

I didn't think it was gonna be a 4-H Club, not at the $300 a day I charge.

Yeah. I just saw how you earned your 300 today.

Where is Fred Blau?

I don't know.

He hired me by phone. Sight unseen.

Paid my fare and fee to meet him in Dallas, and I did.

Watched him burn up the phone for about two hours. Hotel Endicott.

The man you killed was Steve Phillips.

Know him? Ever heard of him before?

Total stranger.

I reckon I'm eligible for an O.R. release on the shooting, so...

Oh, there are a few formalities, Mr. Allison.

Where's Fred Blau?

That old boy slipped me.

And that's a recision of contract.

Any particular reason why he hired you instead of somebody else?

Well, everybody either hires me...

or somebody else.

If the air's all cleared up, I'll get my weapons and I'll be on my way.

Yeah, well, I think Ballistics would like to use your weapons for a couple of days.

You can pick them up.

Leave your local address right here with us.

Well, all right. But you're sure not being very neighborly, Mr. Crowley.

I'm sorry. It's the most I can muster up under the circumstances.

What circumstances?

That guy you dusted was a strong-arm man, worked for a character named Asa Briscoe.

- You know him? - Fat Ace Briscoe. Yeah.

Well, he ain't so fat anymore. He's just heavy.

He might be setting you up.

Two birds. Ever think of that?

Shall I see myself out?

I think it'd be better if Mr. Royster walked you out.

Hey, Pete. Yeah?

You wanna see this guy out?

Be seein' ya, little darlin'.

What do you think about that character?

Oh, he's unique. I like his boots.

Man, how can they smoke those things? Haven't touched them in years.

Me either.

Phone calls from Dallas check out to Briscoe-connected locations.

So there's no doubt about it.

Blau is looking to make a meet with Briscoe.

Now Allison's right in the middle of it.

Bill, who exactly are you after?

Whoever stubs his toe first. File that, will ya?

- And you don't care if it's Turk or Briscoe. - Turk, huh?

I don't like either one of them, honey. They're both killers.

Want me to put a tail on him?

You can't tail guys like that. They don't tail.

Let's try, Bill. We need him.

I want Blau. Now find him. Put some money in the streets.

He ain't that smart. He's an amateur. He don't know how to hide.

Look for cheap flops, like in the movies.

It's not that easy, Ace. The cops are looking for him too.

So what? We use the same stools they do half the time.

Only we pay out in cash.

You find him. Then lose him.

What about Turk? It's Blau I want. He's the important one.

He's the one that can put me away.

What I owe Turk for the old days, I can pay later.

Well, I can't find his car. I can't find a parking spot for him.

He could have ducked out on us last night.

Ducked out where? He's got no place to go. Besides, he's too stubborn.

Or too dumb.

I'm gonna go see if I can locate the manager.

He's out in the back showing somebody an apartment

someplace. I'll be back in a few minutes.

Right.

Mornin'.

Hi. Hop in.

You know, I figured you'd say that.

I got this addiction...

to overcooked sausage, rubbery eggs and greasy home fries.

- Like mother used to make? - A little greasier.

[Laughing] Care to join me?

You make it sound irresistible.

I'm easier to tail when you're lookin' at me.

Wagons west, partner. I love your boots.

[Engine Starts] Move 'em out, Captain.

[Cash Register Rings]

You eat there regularly?

You didn't like it. Well...

Did you call your office?

In the ladies' room, while you were paying the check. There's a phone in there.

Yeah, I know.

I'm sorry, but I gotta ask.

It's the cop in me.

What about the woman in you?

It took ten phone calls...

and about as many official requests to get your Houston file.

You're some amazing character.

A real legitimate hero. Medals, medals, medals.

Newspaper clippings and... [Clears Throat] bullet wounds.

Oh, yeah. I can tell you when it's gonna rain.

And then you applied for a medical pension that you'd been fighting against...

and disappeared from Texas with just a little old post office box number...

as a forwarding address.

Sergeant, Sergeant, I am impressed with your efficiency.

You like mushrooms? Yeah.

And with my past. But so?

Well, I've got to ask it.

Why did you pick here?

Well, it's as far away from Texas as I could get...

and still be in the united States.

You're forgetting about Hawaii and Alaska.

[Snaps Fingers] I think I still figured there's only 48.

Allison?

Turk or Big Darlin'. Take your pick.

Blau's dead if we don't find him first.

So find him. That's your job. I'm on a pension, remember?

Let's get some pickles.

How long you gonna be riding in my hip pocket?

Is my company all that unpleasant?

Not at all, ma'am.

But you're here because it's the easy way to keep me covered.

Right? Right.

Don't tell me you're gonna make it easy for me, help me to do my job.

No, not at all.

You see, your office has my guns.

I had no food in the house.

I wanted a good breakfast.

So I brought along a good-looking bodyguard to keep me company.

And you're ripe for a hit.

So you won't help us, but you'll use us.

I'm not sure I like that.

Look, lady. I do my own thing whether you like it or not.

If I don't fit your dream book of hero cops, tough.

I paid my dues.

When I worked the streets, I was the best.

And I worked alone. That was the way I wanted it.

I pushed back the wise guys and the hoods the same way they pushed...

With methods that they understood.

Like with Ace Briscoe?

Like Ace Briscoe.

Then why did you quit?

I'd had it.

The job changed.

The politicians and the sob sisters took over.

The captains who never worked the streets.

The stupid laws, stupider judges.

And some stupid policewomen?

Yeah. Women cops.

How about women? I like 'em. I always have.

Guess you might say I've had my share.

Hey, look, I make 15,000 a year for having a few extra holes in my body.

I can live all right on that.

If I need some more, I take a bodyguard job on my terms. Guess that about does it.

Do you have a desire to see my refrigerator?

Thanks a lot. Sorry, Bill.

Next time you disappear, I'll just call the police.

Allison, your phone.

What about it, Crowley?

- We want to cover it. We need it. - Okay.

You can monitor it in my apartment just like an answering service.

And the sergeant here monitors it, or nobody.

- Pep? - Okay.

I'll try it for a while... 24 hours.

- You sure you want to stash up there with no coverage? - We're both cops.

And that's all you'll have in your apartment, Turk... just another cop.

Of course.

Now, if you two will help me with my

groceries, I'd consider it a public service.

There's Blau.

[Bell Rings]

[Dialing]

[Rings]

Allison Investigators.

What do you say, old buddy?

Turk, listen, I want to thank you for that little number at the airport.

But I'm really gonna need your help now.

They're gonna get me. They're gonna try again.

I told you to go to the cops. They're the only ones that can help you now.

I can't go to the cops. If I go to the cops, they'll get my family.

Listen, Turk. Listen to me. I want to talk to a guy, Briscoe.

Ace Briscoe. He's the guy.

Now I'll tell him that I'll take all the blame and that I won't talk.

Okay? I just want to make peace.

Talking to Briscoe is a passport to a slab.

Well, I don't have anybody else! What do you want me to do?

You want money? How much do you want?

Listen, name a figure. Whatever you want.

Okay, Blau. I'll see if I can see him myself.

I get $300 a day. Same price, same service. But you do exactly as I say.

Right. Right. Anything you say. Right. Okay, where are you now?

Well, I'm in, uh... I'm at a phone in a courtyard in a motel in Blancas.

Uh, the Evans Motel.

Crowley? Blau is at the Evans Motel in Blancas.

Okay, cut and run. Don't even go back for a toothbrush.

Take a cab, bus, anything, but get out of

there. Call me after midnight when you relocate.

Yeah, right. Yeah.

Hey, listen, could you give me a lift?

My car... it broke down and I'm stuck here.

What's he doin' now?

I don't know. Tail him.

Now, we're gonna lose him again.

That was the whole point of this thing... to find Blau before Briscoe does.

What's the matter with you? Now you put him back out on the street again.

Let me tell you somethin', little darlin'.

If you think you and Crowley are the only ones in town with a police radio,

then you're a dumb cop.

Briscoe listened to the police radio in Houston all the time.

He could have heard every word you're sayin'.

And if your people are gonna find him, Briscoe's can find him, and maybe quicker.

Now if I can get to Blau before Briscoe, he's at least got a chance.

- You better call Crowley and tell him what's happened. - You dirty double-crosser.

You really care about that guy, don't you?

Mm-hmm.

I get tender feelings about a crocodile for $300 a day.

He's got the best cover in town. Three straights and a big hotel.

[Sighs]

Well, we'll give him till tonight.

If he comes out, we'll do a hit-and-run job on him. Nice and clean.

What if he doesn't come out?

We go in and get him, buddy boy.

I know all about your troubles, Tony.

But call me back with a place where I can locate Briscoe.

Tonight. I need the place and the call tonight.

Yeah, sure, hotshot. Reverse the charges.

And don't sweat it. I just want to talk to Ace.

Okay.

I want in.

Ain't no place to ride tandem on a buckin' horse.

We know all of Briscoe's places.

If we have to, we'll cover them all and louse you up.

Or I go along.

Hey look, Pepper, if there's a meet, its me and Ace.

There's nothin' more borin' than hearin' two people talk about old times.

Yeah, I understand. But I want to be there.

Miss?

Give that to Mr. Briscoe. Mm-hmm.

Now watch his pasta turn into library paste.

Well, now,

what's the occasion, cowboy?

I thought I brushed you off my shoes, along

with the rest of the horse manure, 10 years ago.

I like your new teeth, Ace. The last time I saw you, you didn't have any.

Do you wanna talk? Tell me some words.

- Fred Blau. - Them's dirty words, Turk.

He's willing to take the rap. He'll keep his

mouth shut and ride out a federal vacation.

Just leave him be. That's what they say.

Then they hear those iron doors slam, and they get this urge to sing.

Beat it. I'll guarantee he'll keep his flap buttoned.

I make my own guarantees.

Now get lost, cowboy. You ain't a cop anymore.

You gotta follow the rules just like everybody else now.

I never followed the rules when I was a cop, and nothin's changed.

I want you to lay off of Fred Blau.

You ain't on the talkin' end of the phone anymore, cowboy. Now get out while you can.

- You're just a punk. - And you're a dead man, Turk.

Let's go.

Everything okay? Yeah, everything's fine.

I want you to scoot, Pepper. They don't want you.

Uh-uh. I only leave with the man what brung me.

All right, get yourself over there.

[Chuckles] Whoo!

[Door Lock Rattling]

How'd it go?

No good.

Blau's gotta come to you or commit suicide.

He's called twice already.

Won't leave any messages. Said he'd call every 15 minutes till you get back.

We better cover Blau's family. The stuff's starting to hit the fan.

[Ringing] I've already done that.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's me. Where are you?

Okay. I'm on my way. Stay put.

- What about Briscoe? Did you talk to him? - Yeah.

- No way to make a deal. - Well, what do I do now?

Like I told you, old buddy. Go to the cops.

They're the only ones that can help you now.

Well, like I told you, I can't go to the cops because he'll get my family.

Your family's safe. The cops already have them covered.

They're not safe! He's still gonna get 'em.

[Sighs] Man, he's spooked.

Yeah, we'd best move it.

Where's he heading? Nowhere, I'm afraid.

He'll never get out of the Weaver Hotel.

You know the place? [Pepper] Yeah.

Goin' down? Uh, uh-huh.

What are you doin'? I thought you said we were goin' down.

We aren't, but you are.

[Grunting]

[Gunshot]

I just rang the button and we found him.

Was there anybody else on the elevator?

Well, did you see anyone leave?

I saw a lot of people, but I didn't pay any attention to anybody.

There was no one on the elevator with him. I mean, the body.

Really, we didn't see anything. Can we go now?

Yes. Thank you.

We have your phone number. We'll get in touch with you if we need you.

If you didn't get him lost, he might be alive now. We don't know that, Bill.

- What do you think, Turk? - Nobody gets people lost.

- It's something they gotta do on their own. - You just don't give a damn.

I reckon I might squeeze up a tear if I had a slice of onion.

Do you get soggy over a dead man, Crowley?

Whatever else he was, that's a human being.

Not anymore. It's just the carton a human being came in.

Yeah. Well, I'll tell you something. That carton was our key to solve a case.

For that, we'll both weep.

We got no place to go with this case. We got no witness.

Briscoe's already started his cover-up.

We still have Blau's homicide to work on. That's right.

We can work our butts off on that.

Maybe we might come up with a case against some of the hired help.

We still wouldn't get the man we want. So?

So we drop the Briscoe thing and let Homicide do their job. It's their baby.

Well, what about Turk? There's a contract out on him right now.

You drop the case, and Turk is dead.

Yeah, well, I'll believe that when I see it.

Look, we lost Briscoe on this one and that was what it was all about.

As far as Turk's concerned, I...

It's his problem... if he gets himself killed, he probably asked for it.

What's the matter with you? I've never heard you talk this way.

I'm just adopting a little of Turk's philosophy. You seem to like his moves.

For him. Not for you.

You're two different kinds of people.

I'd like to shove my foot down his throat.

Bill, listen.

I'm closer to you than any man I know.

I respect you. I know you're not afraid.

And you're brave, and all that good stuff.

But what's the sense of you two going at each other?

Look, you're a good person who fights and does the things that are tough...

because you have to... You have no choice.

But Turk does them because he needs to.

Maybe he has no choice, but he has to hide a lot of things.

You don't have to hide anything.

You know something?

Mmm.

You spent an awful lot of time analyzing him.

Sure, he interests me.

But he's alone, and he's got nothing going for him.

Compared to you, he's got nothing at all.

Except maybe you.

[Knock On Door]

Yeah?

It's me. Pepper.

Get lost, Pepper. Go away.

You did that act before. Open the door.

Oh. What time does the war start?

Anytime they're ready.

I thought you didn't have any weapons.

What I meant was, I didn't have my favorites.

Ballistics rushed you through. Here's two more.

Oh, yeah.

My friends. Some reinforcements. Thank you.

Think you can spare Briscoe?

Nah.

He and I both have looked down enough cannons in our time.

If he's coming after you, why are you hanging around?

Well, running's dangerous.

Might run into a brick wall when you're looking back.

Why are you hanging around?

They're not coming. Not tonight.

I came over in a black-and-white.

It's parked out front.

Yeah, sure. An empty patrol car's gonna scare 'em away.

You know what I'd like?

I'd like to fix you a couple of those overpriced steaks you got today.

Pepper,

what are you doing here?

Fixing you a steak.

I can get a steak around the corner.

Well, then, uh, because...

You see, I like to go to the movies,

and I used to go and hide there with my favorites...

John Wayne, Gary Cooper... With my lovers, every Saturday.

- And I remind you of them? - Yeah.

Yeah. Strong, silent type.

Uh-huh.

Let me tell you something.

A lot of things I am, but one thing I'm not and that's a movie cowboy.

And back to my question... what are you doing

here? I ain't exactly the pick of the litter.

The last one chosen needs the most love.

Love's a field I'm not too well acquainted with.

Have you been alone a long time?

Yeah, I guess so.

Not anybody's fault, particularly. Just been alone.

So, you're a loner.

Sounds so corny when I say it, especially if it's to a lady.

Always sounds like I'm tryin' to get her in the sack or somethin'.

Hey, wait. Wait a minute.

You got me explainin' myself.

And I don't explain myself to anybody.

Go home, Pepper. I don't want to.

Pepper. Where'd you get a stupid name like that?

I don't know.

You fry the steaks...

while I go take a shower.

Hey, I forgot to ask you something.

- How do you like your steak? - With you.

Let me speak to Sergeant Crowley.

Then let me speak to one of his men.

Royster? This is Turk Allison.

Give me a phone number where I can reach Crowley.

Got it.

Hey, you know, I think we forgot somethin'.

The wine. No, I think we got wine.

No, I was wrong. But I know we need Rocky Mountain Beer.

Yeah, and red wine. I'll just whip around the corner and get some.

No, I'll go. You'd better stay here.

But, uh, you can pay.

Now, how 'bout that?

Okay.

I'll hurry.

You want Briscoe and his people, right? I can give them to you.

Who's gonna pay you 300 a day for that? It's a freebie.

Let's just say I want Briscoe off my back.

You wouldn't have Briscoe on your back...

if you hadn't shoved that bread stick down his gullet.

If I'd shoved a pound of butter up his nose, it wouldn't have made any difference.

He's got a deviated septum. I know... I deviated it.

Look, Crowley, I'm offering you a ringside seat.

Man, you've got your guns back,

and if you think I'm gonna sit there and legalize your wasting Briscoe, forget it.

I had a bead on you once. The next time I think I'll do something about it.

Hey, don't scare me, Crowley. I've got a very negative reaction to fright.

Pepper told me you were holed up, ready for World War III.

Why did you leave your place?

Because she wouldn't.

Is she... Yeah.

Okay.

Read it to me again from the top,

starting with, "My name is Dick. This is my dog, Spot."

Put a tail on me. Give me plenty of rope, but stick with me.

I'll force the hit. How?

Make them do it on my schedule. How?

You'll be behind me. Just watch.

And if it doesn't work?

What have you got to lose?

[Shower Water Running]

[Whistles]

[Knocking On Door]

It's me. I'm back. I brought you your drink.

Pete, is Bill there?

No, Pep. He's out with Joe on that Blau thing. I've been trying to reach you.

What Blau thing? It's that tail job to set Briscoe up.

It's with Turk's blessings this time.

I'm gonna pick it up now on the radio.

Pick me up on the way. I'm at his apartment.

- What are you doin' there? - Just pick me up.

Hey, Briscoe! Ace Briscoe! You yellow-bellied creep!

[Groans] Where's Briscoe?

I don't know, man. I don't know any Briscoe.

I got you now, not him. Where's Briscoe?

I don't know. I swear he doesn't come in here much.

You tell him I was here.

Who? He'll know.

I didn't see anything. Did you?

See what? I didn't see a thing.

12-Y-50, what's your present location?

Heading north on Jordan at Douglas. That Turk is crazy, man.

Maybe.

Maybe not.

Hey, mister, you can't park there.

I'll take your car for you. Tell the manager I want to speak to him.

I'm sorry, but the manager is busy. He's inside.

I think you better go call him.

Hey, w-w... Are you nuts?

There goes my pension. [Laughing]

Tell me when it's all over.

I love it. I love it.

The guy's beautiful. [Laughing Continues]

Even if I can't see it.

Okay, mister, you broke that windshield.

My name's Turk. That mean anything to you?

- I've got no beef with you. - Send the kid inside.

He's got no beef either.

Go on. Beat it.

Now, don't you be foolish either. Where can I find Briscoe?

Mister, I don't know. He's just a customer here sometimes.

- I'm legitimate. - Give or take 50%.

- What are you doing? - [Laughing]

You're gonna put me out of business. I'm gonna call the cops.

Then I'll pay for the windows. I'll have to come back and see you some other time.

If he finds out I told you anything, I'm finished.

You are pure-dee, flat-out breakin' my heart.

Wait. Wait. Wait!

He's at his other place. The topless joint down on San Ysidro.

And tell Briscoe Turk's comin' for a visit.

He may want to bake a cake.

I'm gonna kill him.

Yeah. Yeah, all right.

Thanks, pal.

He's comin' here.

That crazy cowboy's gone bananas. Turk?

Yeah. He's on his way here. He's gonna put the hit on me.

So what? Let him come.

Saves us the trouble of getting past the cops to get at him.

Like we got a choice, huh? Sure.

All right. But I don't want anything to happen in here.

It won't look right, no matter what.

Hit him when he's outside.

We've got enough witnesses here to show he's on his way here to kill me.

The law can't harm me. Can't harm anybody but him.

[Chuckling] Hit him on the way in.

It's a good thing this joint's closed.

[Tires Screeching]

Hold it! Police!

- Police! Hold it! - Drop it! Drop it!

Police! Freeze! Reach! Turn around! Reach for the wall!

- Reach! Get 'em up there! - All right.

Is that you, Al? Phil?

It's me, Ace.

Police officer! Freeze!

Get your hands on top of your head. Keep them there.

Make a move, and you're dead. I had to shoot him. He came here to kill me.

Get an ambulance, Pete. Believe me. He was gonna kill me.

Is that right? Get that hand down behind your back.

It's true, Crowley. That crazy idiot was gonna shoot me.

Without a gun? Come over here, Briscoe. Let me show you something.

Take a look at that. He hasn't even got a gun.

You know, one thing I can't stand is wishy-washy hatred.

Move it!

[Groans]

My favorite flower is...

Bluebonnet.

Hey. Hi.

Hi.

Guess I blew my wake.

Anybody there worth meeting?

Will you shut up.

- How long I been out? - Almost three days.

[Grunts]

Did you just get here?

Yeah. Three days ago, just.

I've watched you sleep. I listened to you cuss a lot.

You know, you get mad when you're hurtin'.

Yep.

Agony has a way of flat-out tickin' me off.

I even watched you cry a couple times.

Now that's an invasion of privacy.

No, it wasn't, because it wasn't for yourself. It was for somebody else.

You big phony.

You do have feelings. Just a few.

Now don't you try to compute me, Dr. Pepper.

You might not like the bottom line.

You makin' love to me?

In a manner of speaking.

The good doctor says you'll be in here at least a month.

Never could handle a hospital diet for more than a week.

They won't give you any ketchup.

[Laughs]

But we can make one hell of a week out of it.

Then what?

You know, when I start thinkin' about you,

I get a... I get a feelin' of permanence.

I'm tellin' you somethin'...

Feelings like that pure-dee put a cockle burr under my saddle blanket.

[Laughing]

It's funny. I knew you were gonna say just that.

You're going away, aren't you?

Um, if you were an Eskimo lady,

would you rub an old crooked nose like this one?

I met an Eskimo once.

You know what he told me?

He said they don't do that.

You know what they do?

[Bill] What do they do?

[Turk] Crowley, you got a beautiful sense of timin'.

That's what they tell me.

Come on in. Sit down. [Door Closes]

How's it going?

I'll make it.

He's already got his snowshoes on.

What, are you takin' a trip up north?

Yeah. I thought I'd give Alaska a break.

You better be careful what you freeze up there.

I appreciate your concern, Crowley.

Yeah.

I wouldn't be at all surprised if there's still

a little bit of the street cop left in you.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

You know, Crowley, I've been watchin' you. You're not bad yourself.

Couldn't help but notice, huh?

If you plan on seein' your grandchildren get married,

you gotta get a little meaner.

- Meaner? - Yeah.

The other day at the airport, when I dusted that punk, you should have taken me out.

If I hadn't heard Pepper yell,

you were one blink away from that great lineup in the sky.

Is that right?

Well, let me tell you. If those prairie-honed

ears hadn't heard the tinkle of that tin star,

you wouldn't be lying here in such pretty company, I guaran-damn-tee you.

Either of you got an extra pair of boots?

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