Original subtitles

[theme music playing]

♪ It's you Against the world ♪

♪ I don't think so ♪

♪ You wouldn't stand A chance now, girl ♪

[Rachel]Be careful what you wish for.

The night of Coby's party,

my only wish was to go back in time

to before I found out his secret.

♪ You get him By the final bell ♪

[cheers]

[Rachel] Meanwhile, Jake's bombshell was still to drop.

I guess there's a lot to be said

for making the right wishes.

Only two days ago,

everything still might've worked out.

[Coby] Oops! Look out!

Fun time's over, mom's home.

It looks like mom's got a mean right arm.

Mom's got a crap aim.

-Hello. -Hi.

What are you doing home? Why aren't you at training?

Oh, giving it a miss tonight.

Ah.

-Why? Are you all right? -Yes, of course.

I'm just not in the mood.

This way, I get to hang out with you,

-it's a much better option. -Mm.

Well, hang on a minute.

You're never not in the mood.

What do you mean "not in the mood"?

You got that right.

No, for rugby.

Just, uh, gonna hang out in the garage.

-See you later. -Righto.

Look Rach, it's no biggie, seriously.

Now, can your stay at home boyfriend

tempt you to some nachos?

[Rachel] Two days ago,

when I had no idea what Jake was hiding.

And Coby had no idea

I'd already invaded his sacred space.

[Ben] Choo, choo, choo, choo, choo, choo.

Woo-oo.

Here comes the choo-choo train, Ruby.

Woo-oo.

She prefers the airplane.

No, she doesn't.

[Ted] She does.

Just because you shaved that beard off,

doesn't make you any smarter.

Here comes the airplane. Woo--

It's my turn to feed you.

I can't believe you guys are arguing

about modes of transport, I mean, look at her,

she's wearing more than she's eating.

[Julie] You know we would've killed for a live in

baby sitter when you were born.

Just so we could juggle you and--

Herman Munster.

Don't you dare let Rachel hear you say that.

You know she hates that.

[Dave] She grew into that forehead.

[Ben] And, uh, you got your wish.

Two live in babysitters in fact.

Yes, who like to argue.

-No we don't. -No one's arguing.

Oh, hey, it's Coby's birthday tomorrow.

Oh, he kept that to himself.

Oh, you know what he's like. He hates a fuss.

Well, is he doing anything to celebrate?

[Nathan] Not that I know of.

Well, I should cook him a roast or something.

Good luck with that, Mom.

[Ted] Here she goes again.

Oh, well, I can't avoid it any longer.

I guess I better get back.

Still having Rita issues?

[Nathan] Dad, she's impossible to live with.

She's like a howling banshee.

Oh, come on she's not that bad.

You're right in small doses she's almost tolerable.

Yeah, lucky I can spend most of my time here.

-Thank you for dinner. -Oh.

Would you like me to clear that away?

Because, you know,

I've got nothing better to do with my time.

Choo, choo, choo, choo, choo.

[foreign language song playing]

No, no, no, no, no!

Sorry, you probably couldn't hear me over the music.

Mate, Barnsey couldn't hear himself over the music.

What's going on?

[Rita] Turn that music back on!

It's mom.

She wants dad's music played full bore.

You've got to do something, okay?

No, I'm not getting in between you and your mother.

Well, me and Retta are losing it!

Carbo, man up, okay!

You do something!

[foreign language song playing]

What do you think you're doing?

Going to bed.

Goodnight then.

[upbeat music playing]

[Carbo] ♪ Ner, ner, ner, Ner, ner, ner, ner... ♪

Carbo.

Sorry.

I can't help it, it's genetic.

[sighs] I don't care. This cannot go on.

Oh, I know.

And there's only one obvious solution.

[Carbo] I know.

We need to find a new place to live.

I... Wait, what? No!

Yeah. Well, we can't live here. This is torture.

I'm not moving out. It's my house.

Yeah. Well, it was your mom's first

and technically it still is.

So, we're just boarders.

Yeah.

You're right.

[humming] Come here.

Carbo, what are you doing?

Well, since mom is nice enough to drown us out...

[groans]

[dramatic music playing]

Mm, it's a bit early for that, isn't it?

Oh, you better ask the birthday boy.

-What? -Coby.

Oh, Jake, why didn't you tell me! Got...

I haven't got a present or anything.

No, it's cool, it's cool.

You can just go in with me.

-Hey. -Hey.

Here he is, the evil professor,

out from his secret laboratory.

Yeah. Well, that crystal meth's not gonna cook itself.

Happy birthday.

How did you know?

He told me.

-There you go. -Oh.

Happy birthday.

Jakey, you shouldn't have!

Let me guess. A CD?

Ooh, got it in one, dude.

-We've got to go. -Righto.

Hey, uh, good luck with that new client.

Who is it again?

Oh, some new brand of alcopops.

-Flare. -Flare.

Hmm-mmm. There's no stress.

I've got weeks to come up with an idea.

-Bye. -I love you.

Love you.

Oi. Dad, head's up.

-Hey, uh, happy birthday. -Whoa.

I knew you wouldn't want a fuss.

Gee, thank you, Dave.

You shouldn't have.

Oh, I didn't actually.

There you go.

Happy birthday, mate.

Oh!

See cause you never can have too many chammies.

-Absolutely. -Oh, happy birthday, Coby.

Oh.

It's just a voucher.

I thought you could buy some music or something.

You didn't have to do all this.

[Julie] Listen and if you've got no plans,

why don't you come over for dinner tonight?

Oh, no, no, no, thank you.

No plans but, uh, like I said,

-don't like a fuss. -Oh.

Don't like a fuss I don't like a fuss,

I got you something.

-That! -Ahhh!

Mate, you shouldn't have!

Nathan, I appreciate it.

You're very welcome.

Let's load up. Grab that drill.

I got to hit him.

[Paul] But at least the client's clear

on the style they want, urban, contemporary.

What like street art?

Not so raw.

Not afraid of color.

Remember the target demographic is young women,

-18-30. -Okay.

Well, I can do a call out on Linked-In.

No, no, no. They don't want designers.

They're looking for artists.

So, up and coming stars of the future.

Great, no challenge there.

And they need it by next week.

What?

No I thought we had weeks.

Not anymore.

So what've you got?

Well, apart from a mental blank, nothing.

Come on, Rachel.

This is why I pay you the big bucks.

Think young, splashy.

Think female, think--

Think flowers?

Flowers?

Yeah. Well, I have seen

this amazing painting.

It's huge flower heads but really bright,

intense colors. It's...

It's sort of like graffiti but a lot more beautiful.

So you've got an artist in mind?

Yeah...

No.

Yes or no?

Well, uh, technically yes.

More to the point, will he do it?

Well, the thing is I don't know

how he's gonna feel about it

because he's um...

he's very publicity shy.

[scoffs] This'll be great exposure for him.

Yeah, I guess.

Have you got a picture?

-[Rachel] No. -I'll need one.

Right.

I'm gonna be gone for half an hour.

Thank you.

[dramatic music playing]

[Rachel] Maybe this was Coby's chance,

everything he'd secretly wished for.

That was my crazy excuse and I was sticking to it.

[foreign language song playing]

Mine was Tori Amos.

What?

I played...

I played Tori Amos over and over again.

Who's he?

She.

When my mom died, my dad totally lost it.

He just sat in this one chair

near our front window and didn't move.

The poor man.

And then he died when I was 19

and I did the exact same thing.

Same chair and everything.

I could barely stand up.

I played Tori Amos so much, the neighbors complained.

Well, they're philistines.

I understand what you're going through,

I really do.

But at some point you just have to get up

out of the chair.

Well, it's easier said than done.

Not if you have help.

[Rita] What sort of desperado do you think I am?

Who goes online to meet people?

Perverts, that's who.

Perverts and kinkies.

[clears throat] And...

me and Carbo.

What?

Well, that's... that's how we met.

Well, what is it with you young people?

I am not ready for another big commitment.

I mean, Theo and I only--

Nobody's committing to anything.

This could just be friendship.

See, look, they ask you on the forms

what you're looking for then they match you

with others looking for the same thing.

No.

It's just not me.

[sighs] Fine.

Well, I'm not gonna push you.

But there are people out there

who would love to spend time with you.

Don't just sit in the chair like I did.

[dramatic music playing]

[Ben] Oh.

Because it's not age appropriate.

It's just a genie.

[Ted] Yeah. And what happens when Ruby grows up

and nobody's jumping out of kettles

granting her every wish?

Would you two give it a rest?

You're gonna give her an anxiety disorder.

Hello. Julie Rafter.

[Ben] Are you ready, Ruby?

-Once upon a time-- -Oh.

Yes. No, no, no, sorry.

Um, well, that... that's just much

sooner than we were expecting, that's all.

Ruby, would you like to sing a song?

-No. -[Julie] Yeah...

No, no, no, no, no.

We're still interested. Absolutely.

Okay, thanks.

Well, apparently Ruby can start day care next week.

A vacancy came up.

What? Well... Well... Well, that's a bit--

A bit soon, isn't it?

Well, yeah, no, but we've been on the waiting list

for a while, so...

Well, that's the end of our walks

to the park for tai chi.

Ruby was my main motivation.

You went without her today.

Because you were hogging her.

Since when do you do tai chi?

I don't.

I watch.

What?

I watch and learn.

Ruby and I watch and learn from a distance.

-That's creepy. -[Julie] Right.

So you've got a new interest in tai chi,

a new interest in Cantonese...

It wouldn't be related by any chance, would it?

Nothing wrong with expanding the mind.

[Ben] Isn't Ruby a bit young for day care?

-I mean, we never went. -[Julie] Well, we all need

to get out of the house occasionally, Ben.

Even you.

Tell me, you got the photo.

The client loves it.

-It's a green light. -What... You've...

-You've pitched it already? -Time is money.

But I haven't had time to talk to the artist yet.

So? Call him now.

Right, just call him.

-Is there a problem? -Uh, no, it's just...

Well, there's no guarantee he's gonna say yes,

-that's all. -He'd better.

The client's sold.

We need it sign, sealed, and delivered by Monday.

What are you doing?

Nothing. Just mucking around.

Mm. What is it with boys

and their stupid sheds?

You actually want something?

Ah...

What do you do if you know something about someone

but you can't say that you know anything

but you sort of already have said something?

You've been drinking that

weird licorice tea again, haven't you?

Mm, Nathan you have to help me.

I'm in trouble.

Oh, I feel for you, Rach,

I really do,

but it's hard to help you when I don't know

what the hell you're talking about.

Okay I'm gonna have to spill, aren't I?

Well, now, you're just annoying.

Okay.

What?

It's about Coby.

You went into his garage?

-[whispers] Twice. -Rach!

Oh, don't say anything else about it!

I'm not saying another word.

No you won't get another word out of me.

Rachel, you have to tell me what's in there.

-Nope. -What is he growing a...

an army of mini Coby's?

[laughs] Don't be an idiot.

You asked for my help.

Oh...

-uh... -What? It's...

-What is it? -It's--

It's...

It's an artwork.

-An artwork? -Yeah.

And it's really good.

And now someone else knows about it too.

Who?

-My boss. -Your boss.

It might not be a bad thing. This is actually...

It's a really big opportunity for him.

Mm. Mm, yeah.

I'm sure Coby's gonna be very appreciative of your,

ah, your talent management.

-Are you completely insane? -[groans]

Missed you at training big fellow.

Oh, come on, mate.

You don't ring, you don't call.

Are we breaking up?

Afraid so.

Are you still weird about last weekend?

What do you think, Camel?

Nothing happened.

You reckon?

Mate, nothing happened.

Well, if you say so.

-So are we cool? -No.

No, I don't think we are.

We'll miss you in the team.

Call me if you change your mind.

Hey.

What's he on about? Are you quitting the team?

Yeah, sort of. For now anyway.

Well, what happened? I don't understand.

-Nothing, nothing. -What...

You just quit the team for no reason?

Well, no, I've been thinking about it for a while.

I just, you know... I didn't say anything.

It's...

But if it's something that you love, honey,

-and I know that it is-- -But I don't love it anymore.

You know rugby it's just...

It's not my style these days.

"Not your style"?

No. Just some of the guys, they bug me.

[Rachel] Right.

-And I thought you liked them. -Yeah, I did.

I did, right, but there's more to life than beer

and stupid conversation and I...

It's hanging out with you, Rach, okay?

You've turned me into a sensitive new aged guy.

All right?

Now let me get a start on dinner.

[Coby] Jake, can you get us a beer

while you're up, will you mate?

Righto.

Hey, Cobes.

Um, hey, look I know it's a little bit late

but, uh, happy birthday.

You guys never take a break, do you?

No.

What's this?

Um, well, I...

I have seen you reading my art books

so I know you're interested.

Thank you.

Yeah, there's some really, really great stuff in there.

Yeah. There is.

God I wish I was talented like that.

Don't you?

-Rach. -Mm?

Do you... want a beer too?

-Yes, please. -Jake, make that two beers.

Don't say I never do anything for you.

[laughs]

[Carbo] I'm looking for good company with a nice...

Mom, can you come here for a second!

[gasps] You've seen my profile.

How do you even know that word?

Isn't it wonderful?

I already have two gentlemen who say

they'd like to know me better.

Here, I'll show you a photo.

You know I was a bit uncertain at first

but then Retta talked to me

about broadening my social circle.

Wait, wait, Retta put you up to this?

I am not gonna sit in the chair forever, Nico.

Now, help me with my interests.

I like swimming, and I like aquarobics.

Should I put open minded?

-No, don't put open minded. -Why?

This whole thing's a bad idea, okay?

I'm not gonna have my mother cruising around websites,

looking for cheap thrills.

It's friendly.

It's men and women exchanging--

I know what men and women exchange on these websites,

-believe me. -[gasps] Look, look.

I've got one of those winking smiley faces.

Oh.

Uh, next door's reached a brand new low.

I just heard Carbo say the phrase

"cruising websites for cheap thrills",

-to his mother. -Oh, what?

Something to do with internet dating or something?

-[Julie] Oh. -[Dave] Poor old Rita.

That's a bit drastic, isn't it?

Not at all. Nothing wrong with looking for a bit

of new love at any age, is there?

Or so I'm told.

I'll put the chops on.

Well, if Rita's setting up dates and not booking flights,

it looks like your roomy might be settling in a little bit.

Look I don't wanna sound rude but I never signed on

to living with a crazy, heartbroken, old woman.

[Julie] Oh, that's not rude, darling.

I'm sure Rita would love to be described that way.

[Ben] Gypsy music's one thing.

Cruising for cheap thrills is...

Oh, maybe time I moved out I think.

Yeah? Whereabouts?

Um, I guess I could rent a place.

-You interested? -[Ben] Yeah, I am.

Really? Oh, it'd be cheaper for two.

Yeah, totally. Besides, we all need

to get out of the house occasionally,

-isn't that right, Mom? -Hmm.

I can't believe she set up a profile.

I thought she hated the idea.

Only 'cause you forced her into it.

[laughs] Like you can force Rita into doing anything.

It's not funny.

The internet's full of weirdos and losers.

Do I have to remind you that we met on the internet?

-No. -[Retta] No.

And now we're getting married.

Does that make us weirdos and losers?

Have you read her profile? It says she's

"interested in trying new things".

Oh, for God's sake, you wanted her out of the house.

I wanted her out of the house, yes,

but I didn't want her to start dating.

She's only just broken up with dad.

She's not ready yet.

Oh, she's not ready or you're not?

So, what's your plan

for the rest of the day, Cobinator?

-Ooh, Rachenator-- -Shut up.

-It's my new name for you. -[Coby] I don't know.

I might give the ute a once over.

Right.

So not planning any secret down time in your garage then?

I don't reckon.

It drives you crazy, doesn't it?

-What? -Not knowing the stuff

-I get up to in there. -No.

-As if. -Not at all.

You know I just... I don't know why

you'd hide something good from us,

that's all.

I mean, if it was good.

-It's not good, it's evil. -Oh, no.

I think there's a soft side to you yet.

-Is that right? -Yeah.

Look it... It's none of my business.

It's, honestly it's fine if you wanna sit holed up

in there all day working on your...

poetry or... arty stuff,

or whatever, that's... that's cool.

-It's your issue. -What?

If you were using your secret space...

for some kind of...

Say it.

-Artwork. -Arrghhh!

It's really beautiful, Coby. You shouldn't hide it.

I knew you could not be trusted!

-[Jake] Oi! Oi! -I'm sorry.

-I shouldn't have looked. -What's going on?

Ask her! She can't mind her own freaking business!

What's up with him?

Coby, please, look, I am so sorry.

-Piss off! -No, no, no, please,

it's my fault.

Uh, it's a terrible way for everything...

Please, no, Coby! Please! Please!

Put the brush down! I'm an idiot!

Please put the paintbrush. Please--

You're just as full of it as everyone else!

-No-- -Just get out of here!

[dramatic music playing]

Well, what about this one?

-Does it have an en suite? -Yeah. Mm, just the one.

[Ben] We should both have an en suite.

[Nathan] Yes.

Don't you reckon, guys, you're getting a bit picky?

We're too old to slum it, dad.

Oh, right. Look, here's one.

'Three bedrooms, large yard, storage, pool...

Yeah, three bedrooms isn't gonna be enough.

Oh, why?

[Ben] Well, we need a spare room.

And a music room.

-You don't play instruments. -Yes, but we do play music.

Oh, look if you're that desperate to move out,

you could always come home.

We could make it work, you know?

It sounds great. Can I bags the top bunk?

She's lost her mind. She won't listen to me.

-Oh. Sorry? -Well, maybe

she'll listen to you. You know, someone

that understands that, you know, old women go mental.

-Oh. Gee. Thanks, Carbo. -No, sorry, you're not mental.

Uh, well, look can you just calm down.

Tell me what's going on.

[Rita] Obviously they're not all quality.

But overall I've been pleasantly surprised.

-Hmm-mmm. What's that one? -Oh, rotten apples, Julie.

Oh.

Have you ever heard of something called

an adult baby?

Well, yeah, I live with three of them at home

so... Oh, good lord.

You know he's a father of two.

Oh, why would you...

-Well, um, it's... -Mm.

So, um, what've you written about you?

Well, I wanna meet a man about so high,

-with a full head of hair. -Mm.

I want him to make me laugh.

He must be passionate about music

and know a good retsina from a bad one.

You know you've just described Theo with hair?

-Oh, Julie-- -Oh.

Jules, I don't know.

Theo may not be the most interesting man

or even the most faithful but, you know,

it's not that simple

to just fall out of love, is it?

Maybe this internet dating thing's just not for you.

But my marriage is over.

I have to accept that.

Well, have you tried talking to Theo?

-Without shouting? -No.

Don't know why he keeps calling me.

Yeah. Well, the fact that he is,

maybe there is a marriage worth saving,

if you want it.

Just talk to him.

And try and keep it to a dull roar.

Oh. [laughs]

Cause Mr. Nappy Pants is not the way to go.

[laughs]

[Nathan] Well, it's just a bad time to be looking.

The market's saturated. There's nothing out there.

Well, how many did you look at?

Oh, one around the corner.

-One? -[Ben] Yeah,

-we didn't go in but. -No point.

-What was with no Jacuzzi? -Mm?

[Jake] Well, maybe you guys are just making excuses

because you don't really wanna move out.

-Uh... -What? As if.

Who is up for a party?

-When? -Well, tonight.

You don't have a birthday every day.

No, yours was yesterday, Coby.

Exactly and I've got a birthday slab

to get through, right? Jakey--

Well, you know I guess we never had a house warming as--

[Ben] Oh, look at you, the soft touch.

Ah, all right.

Well, I'll call Johnno and Strawbs

and the rest of the Coolong team.

It's about time this house saw some action.

[Rachel] Um, what's going on?

Let's party! Yew!

[Ben] Yew!

-A birthday party? -The first I've heard of it.

[Ben] It was pretty last minute.

Mom, I can't see them.

No, they're in the corner, darling.

Well, uh, maybe I could, uh, whip up a tray of food

and bring it around.

A bit of savory toast always goes down well.

Cheese and pineapple on sticks.

We've got the food covered. Thanks, mom.

Ah.

-Need a hand setting up? -[Ben] No thanks.

You sure? I've got some lovely deck chairs somewhere.

-Really, Dad, it's fine. -Oh.

No, we wouldn't stay long.

Just a quick chat with your little mates.

[Julie] Yes or maybe some karaoke even.

Yeah, Islands in the Stream.

Hopelessly Devoted. I could wear hot pants.

Yeah, me too.

[Ben laughs] You guys are a riot.

No oldies.

Oh, well, don't tell me you're embarrassed

to bring your old mom and dad, are you?

Ah, kind of.

-Oh! -Missing you already.

Eh, you know that is the second time today

I've been referred to as old.

Carbo even implied I was mental.

Well, you're as mental as the day I met you.

Oh, sweet.

-Cuppa? -Hmm-mmm. Yeah.

[Jake] Look at him.

He's let it go. You should too.

Yeah, I wish I could believe that.

-Well, do you wanna come? -No, no, it's fine, you go.

-I'll stay here. -Okay. See you.

Hey, don't forget the sausages, Jakey!

[Jake] Righto!

Coby, I really... I really am sorry.

It's no skin off my nose.

Well, I hope what happened

isn't gonna affect our friendship cause I...

I don't wanna be your enemy.

But you know, you are a really talented artist.

You really are. No, I swear.

In fact, you'd actually be kind of perfect

for this campaign I'm working on.

Ah!

So you want the piece for work?

Well, it really suits the job.

A shame it's gone then.

Actually, it's not. Um, I took a photo.

You took a photo?

Yeah, but my boss really loves it

and so does my client

and I know I did the wrong thing

but this, this is a really big chance.

-It makes you look good. -You too.

Yeah. It'd be pretty bad if you didn't get it.

-Yeah, it would be. -Gee.

It sucks to be you then.

[rock music playing]

All right! The party can start!

-Hey! -[screaming]

[Strawbs] Happy birthday!

[yelling]

How are you going?

[Johnno] Great, man.

Yeah who'd you have to root to get this joint?

Your mom!

Yeah, she really misses you, eh!

I take it you haven't told Coby

about your little break and enter, Rach?

Are actually, yes.

-Really? -Mm.

Yes and behold the defense mechanism.

He exposed his soft side, felt threatened

and now he's morphed into uber Coby.

Instant party, just add water.

Ah. More like beer.

-Mm. -You guys are amazing.

If Coby was having a party at my house,

I'd be completely stressed.

-Really? -[Nathan] Yeah.

Oh, by the way, Carbo's mom's on her way.

Carbo's mom?

Hey. How's your mom?

-Why? -I just... I haven't...

-Hey, Retta, how are you? -Hi. Good.

Nice shirt.

Thanks. Yeah, Retta got it for me.

-I got it. -You got it. Cool.

♪ You got a body of woman ♪

♪ The way you move Is like a queen ♪

[Strawbs] Hello, hello. How's it going?

You're Coby's housemate then, yeah?

[Rachel] Yeah, that's right.

[Strawbs] So what's the go? You got your own room here

or, you know, you just top and tail with Cobes?

He is my cousin.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, we know we know.

Right.

[Johnno] So, do you like to walk around

in your knickers then?

Um, actually no.

No, I like to invite all my girlfriends over first

and then we strip down to our undies

and have pillow fights.

Really?

Mm.

I'm gonna need a mop in the minute

if you two keep drooling like that.

Hey, it's... it's all right, mate.

We're just having a bit of a chat.

Yeah, just having a chat. Well don't.

Oi! All right. Okay.

You too, big boy.

-Okay. -It's a party.

[Rachel] They are just being drunken idiots.

I'm perfectly capable of handling myself.

-They're harmless. -No, no,

drunken idiots do stupid things.

[Rachel] This was more than an overprotective boyfriend.

Something was going on

and I wish I'd known what.

It might've played out differently.

[man] Oh, here's the cake boy! Eh!

[all chanting] Coby! Coby! Coby!

Coby! Coby! Coby! Coby!

[cheers and applause]

I bet I know what he wished for.

[laughter]

Speech! Speech!

Ah, thank you all for coming! Now drink up!

[cheers and applause]

You better hide the slug gun!

[laughter]

What... What does he mean?

Oh, at his 15th birthday party,

Coby shot himself in the foot.

Deliberately?

Yeah, he said he wanted to know what it felt like.

It was only a slug gun!

Now, now who's for another beer?

-[cheers and applause] -I've got a better idea!

-[both] Goon of Fortune! -[Coby] Ooh!

Yeah! Fortune!

What the hell is Goon of Fortune?

I don't know. Just go with it.

How bad could it be?

I am the Goon Master.

You guys.

In the kitchen.

You guys.

Benno?

You two...

You two are...

the best couple...

I've ever known.

You know, like mom and dad,

just together forever.

I might...

I'm gonna have a little vommy.

Mm, nice.

I'm sorry.

Me too.

I know you were just trying to help.

No, I just...

I just want everything to be okay with us again.

Me too. I hate fighting.

And I'll work things out with mom, okay?

-It's not your-- -Shh, shh, shh.

Just don't mention her now.

[instrumental music playing]

Theo?

Is that woman there?

Good.

We should talk.

[man] Because there's nothing like the taste of cooking

on natural hot stone.

How would you like to cook with no fats and oils

but still have that gourmet flavor in your food?

Let's start with steak.

Oh.

Hey.

-[Ted] A quiet night? -Hmm-mmm. Yeah.

Where've you been?

Nowhere.

The Boat Club.

-Oh, nowhere in the Boat Club. -[Ted] Mm.

You've had a busy night.

Very funny.

[Julie] Actually you've been getting out a bit lately,

tai chi and what not.

When did you manage to get a life?

Well, I haven't managed yet.

But I'm cautiously optimistic.

[snoring]

Night, love.

Goodnight, Dad.

[snoring continues]

Okay. Come on, sleeping beauty.

Time for bed.

Ben, are you all right?

[Retta and Carbo moaning]

Nathan, what is that noise?

Who is that? What's going on in there?

-That's Retta. -Retta?

-And Carbo. -Oh, oh... Does...

Does Coby know? That's his bed!

I don't think they're using the bed.

Where's Carbo? I love him.

Oh, God, I think you need a mint, Ben.

-[Retta screams] -Oh, there he is. Carbo!

Oh, no, Ben. Ben.

[Carbo] Go away, Benno!

We're busy.

Oh, he's happy.

-He is happy. -Yeah.

I'm not jealous. I don't know, maybe I am.

Ben, we've got to get in the cab.

It's here. We've got to go.

I hope their wedding reception's

as good as this partner

because this is a good party!

[cheers and applause]

Don't plan the wedding, just throw it!

Nope. Wise words, Ben.

We're going this way.

No, I'm not going anywhere.

The night is young!

[Nathan] Five meters ago.

-[Ben] Go back in the party. -[Nathan] Just no!

[Rachel] No, Ben! Get in the cab!

No, but all my Coolong friends are--

You haven't got any bloody friends.

Come and have a dance, Rachel.

-Get in the car! In the car! -Oh, no dancing. Home time.

-All right! -Get in.

All right.

I should go with him, right?

-No! -Ben!

One more.

I want a goon!

Thank you for an awesome night, Rachel.

Make sure he has a big glass of water

before he goes to bed, yeah?

-Yeah. -Bye.

-Bye, Benny. -[siren wails]

Uh-oh.

Oh, no, we're getting noise complaints about Retta.

Officer, it's Herman Munster!

Take her for all she's got!

Ben!

[Ben] Woo!

[indistinct radio chatter]

Hi.

[man] We're looking for Jake Barton.

Yeah, that's me.

We need you to come down to the station.

We have a few questions about an incident

at the Park Lodge Motel last weekend.

-Jake? -Um, yeah.

Ah, no worries.

-Can I just have a minute? -Yeah.

-What's going on? -It's nothing.

Well, it doesn't look like nothing.

Well, I don't know exactly

but I'm sure it's gonna be fine.

Okay? Okay? I'll see you soon.

Well, I... I don't under...

[cheers and applause]

[upbeat music playing]

-Hey. -Hey.

Can you just give us a minute please?

-Yeah, no worries. -Uh, what is going on?

-Calm down. -No, you were there

last weekend. I wanna know what happened.

-Nothing. -Nothing happened?

Right, nothing at all. That's why

the cops have taken Jake in?

The guys had a bit of a blow-out,

made some noise. Maybe something got broken.

And that's why he's not training anymore?

That's why you guys came home early?

-That's it? -Can I get you a drink?

-Coby just-- -Yes. That's why.

Well, if that's it, he just got a bit drunk

and knocked something over, why didn't you just tell me?

That was my idea. Don't let it bother you.

-Yeah, but why? -Because I knew

you'd be like this. All panicked.

Rach, Jake didn't do anything wrong.

Don't let it bother you.

♪ Well, let's Get started with the show ♪

♪ Now when they try To shut us down ♪

♪ Whatcha gonna tell them? ♪

[dramatic music playing]

[Rita] Now, I've got some news.

Oh, can it wait?

You know we're not feeling too good.

It can't wait for too long.

I have a flight to catch.

I called your father last night.

He's left that redhead.

He wants to make our marriage work.

-Really? -Yes.

And I'm willing to try.

Oh, Rita, that's wonderful.

Now, I know it's been a problem

for you two having me here.

-No, mom-- -No, no, no, let me finish.

I don't wanna be part of your fighting.

You're young, and you're in love

and you should be getting along.

I want your happiness

as much as I want my own.

Now, eat up. I need to pack.

And close your mouth, son.

It makes you look simple.

It's happening! It's really, really happening!

What's... What's wrong?

I was kind of getting used to having her around.

What? Shh! Keep your voice down.

If she hears that, she won't go.

[Rachel] No, I've already called them. They...

If someone could just tell me what time he might be...

Okay. No, thank you.

Ah, that's fine. I'll call back.

Hey! Oh, are you all right?

The police won't tell me anything.

Yeah I'm fine. I'm fine.

Jake, what's going on?

-[sighs] -Hey.

Hey.

Hey what happened?

I've been charged with attempted sexual assault.

What?

There was an incident

last weekend with a girl.

-Jake-- -Baby,

Camel and the boys, they were being idiots, right?

And it looked like it was getting hairy

and I stepped in.

Yeah.

And she was completely out of it

and she scratched me while I was trying to get her help.

Well, did you call the police?

I asked her, I asked her if she wanted me

to call the police and she said no.

Look my main worry was just to try and get her home safe

and then she ran off.

So why have you been charged?

Well, she remembers me. You know, my name.

She remembers fighting with me and...

now it's her word against mine.

Well, why would she say such a thing?

I don't know. I don't know. I can't even believe

I'm being questioned about this,

about assaulting a woman.

Like I'd never do that.

I just never would do that.

-Rach? -Yeah, I know, I know. I know.

-No, you don't. -No, I do.

I do. Jake...

I don't really wanna do this right now.

Why didn't you tell me?

Look, I'm tired. I just wanna sleep.

Yeah, but you didn't tell me any of this.

Rachel, Rachel! Just...

Just go. Yeah?

["At Your Best" playing]

♪ You're high Above the world ♪

♪ I don't think so ♪

♪ If you're hanging Around me, girl ♪

♪ And even when you try To call ♪

♪ I know you stole ♪

♪ You climb Another storey tall ♪

♪ If only you right ♪

♪ Your past ♪

♪ And started fighting ♪

♪ Yourself as well ♪

♪ If only you right ♪

♪ Your past ♪

♪ And started fighting Yourself ♪

[Ted] See, Ruby?

Who wants to be looked after

by stinky old Ben who smells like a wino?

Oh, please, don't say wine again.

Come on you two. You have got to call a truce.

Sorry, love.

[Julie] And as for you, mister, do I need to have

-the alcohol talk with you? -No, Mom.

The way I feel now, I'm never drinking again.

-Yes. -Ever.

[Dave] I take it you two aren't gonna be moving in

-together anymore? -No.

Not now that it's a Rita-free zone.

[Rachel] Oh, I'm gonna miss her.

-Mom-- -Although I'm very happy

-things worked out. -Mm.

[Dave] Hey, love. To what do we owe this visit?

Ah, just need to have a bit of a lie down.

-Me too. -Um, can I use my room, Ben?

-Hey, everything all right? -Yeah.

Well, did you have a late night?

Mom, I just don't wanna talk about it, okay?

[dramatic music playing]

When I was little,

I used to wish on stars.

♪ ...started fighting Yourself as well ♪

[Rachel]Where a handsome prince...

The bright happy future.

What did my future hold now?

[theme music playing]

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