Original subtitles

Many people say

that the story of our life begins on the day we were born.

As though everything that happened before that is something separate.

All the memories that shaped our story...

Mom and Dad...

The people before them...

Or the siblings before us.

Because, in the end, there will always be a story or two to tell.

About being broken.

Rising.

Falling.

Failing.

Growing.

Disappearing.

Waiting.

Surviving.

Changing.

And other human fears

that we all talk about someday.

Like all dreams, some are held on to till this day,

some fail...

fade away,

or are even left forgotten.

Hang in there.

Dad's here.

Come on.

Angkasa! Aurora!

Ready?

Let's go. Careful now.

OK.

Easy there.

Whoosh.

Hello there.

Whoosh, it's flying away.

Be careful.

Of all the good decisions I've ever made...

-two of them are the best. -What?

The first one is...

marrying you.

The second one is...

being the father of our children.

-Good afternoon, everyone. -Afternoon, Doctor.

Mr. Rendra, Mrs. Ajeng, let's do this.

Everything will be all right.

If Allah wills it, it'll go well. Just pray.

Amen.

-Don't worry. -OK.

Stay here, OK? Keep an eye on Aurora.

Awan.

Mock-up order.

It's urgent.

Because we have to present it the day after tomorrow. OK?

-The day after tomorrow, sir? -Yes.

But, sir, I already made plans with my family.

It's short notice, I know.

But this is your chance.

It's a direct order from the person right there.

-OK, sir. Got it. -All right.

Bye.

-We're off, sir. -See you.

Excuse me.

Look who's happy. Assigned a job by Mr. Anton.

People our age are mostly fans of BLACKPINK,

Bude Sumiyati, or Pamungkas. You're the only who's an architect fan.

So what? I've been a fan since high school.

I don't care about that. I only care about us getting the job.

Tomorrow's the probation result.

I wonder if we'll pass.

We will, for sure.

How do you know?

Well, you have me in our team.

Cocky.

Shut up.

You're 15 minutes late.

Sorry, I was just chatting.

Dad asked me to pick you up from the office. Not here.

Don't worry, he'll never find out.

Just say there was a traffic jam.

Oh, great. And now you're telling me to lie.

You won't be the one who lies.

Hurry up. Dad'll get mad.

I'm hungry, though.

-There she is. -Hi, Dad. Hi, Mom.

Awan, skip the shower.

Just go and get changed.

Dad. Mom. I can't go.

Why? We made reservations for eight o'clock, you know that.

Come on. What are you working on?

A mock-up.

It's due tomorrow. For a presentation.

Awan, you can do it later after dinner.

Let's go.

There's not enough time, Dad.

Besides, it's an order from Mr. Anton.

Is it OK?

See, honey?

All right.

Enjoy your dinner.

Let's go. Traffic.

-Bye! -Take care.

-Drive safely. -Yes.

Aurora, how's the installation?

Hmm...

How should I put it?

It's...

confusing.

The exhibition's in three weeks, right?

You're right.

I think we should go home.

-Some subjects were pretty hard. -Really?

-Aurora, see you later! -Bye!

-A friend of yours? -Of course.

Mom!

Hey, Awan!

-Awan! -Awan!

Awan!

Hurry, sir!

Awan!

Help her!

-Awan! -Come on! Help her!

Help her!

Awan!

Call an ambulance!

-Where is it? Where is the ambulance? -Awan!

-Out of my way! -Where is it?

Get in!

-Awan! -Awan!

-Awan! -Awan!

Awan!

Out of the way!

Mom! Where's Dad?

Just go!

Move!

Mom!

Awan.

-Yoo-hoo. -Why are you back already?

Still working on the mock-up?

Let's work on it together, OK?

Oh, come on, Dad. I can do it myself.

Oh, you.

What's the point of having a family if you do everything by yourself?

Dad, I can do it.

It's your wedding anniversary.

Your boss made that reservation. What are you gonna say to him?

Easy.

I'll tell him it's my uric acid.

Problem solved.

Uric acid? Seriously?

Why are you here?

You know your dad.

I should've just gone out with Lika.

Just tell her to come over.

I'll make something delicious.

Everybody's happy, right?

I'll be in the studio.

Aurora.

Aurora?

Aurora?

-What is it, Mom? -Dinner's ready.

Oh, right. I'm not hungry yet.

What's this called?

This one is "Antara."

I can't wait to see your works. They've been in the garage for so long,

and finally people will get to see them.

Studio, Mom.

Yes. Studio.

Come on, let's eat.

OK, I'll be there in a minute.

Aurora, last week you did 90 seconds.

Aurora, being the first one is not enough.

You have to beat all the other schools.

I expect 88 seconds next week. Got it?

-Got it, coach. -OK.

Awan.

You did 102 seconds.

Remember, the competition's in four months.

If I don't see any improvement next week, you don't get to compete, OK?

Dad, the coach said I was the fastest today.

Me, 90 seconds. Awan, 102 seconds.

I think you should help Awan practice.

So you both can compete.

You don't want to leave your little sister behind, do you?

It'd be much better if you both won. Right?

Right.

Way to go, dear!

It should be tropical.

Your design is too modern, Awan. It's not what they want.

Sir, tropical doesn't have to be extravagant.

I'm sure with the right explanation, they will be open to new ideas.

This is not about opening their minds.

You don't have the right to persuade them.

We're not some random firm trying to sell things.

We're a firm of, what's the word--

Architecture, sir.

Don't interfere, Kuya. Yes, we're an architecture firm.

And you should know that the client already gave the intruction a while ago.

-"Instruction." -What?

-With an "S", sir. "Instruction." -Whatever!

All you do is criticize me.

Awan?

Me?

You need a drink, sir?

-What? -A drink.

I'm hungry, not thirsty!

Darn...

Evening, sir.

I'm aware that you're one of the best graduates of our alma mater.

But, you're still on probation.

What I gave you the other day was not an opportunity,

but a test.

Last month, you had an argument with Santi

over the landscape project in Bintaro, didn't you?

I know.

And just now, you had another one with Mr. Rifai.

Ever since I started this firm,

I've always chosen Mr. Rifai to lead all of my projects.

I've never seen him yell at someone like that before.

I apologize, sir. I'll redesign it as instructed.

You're smart.

Full of potential.

But, you act like you work alone.

You don't have the capacity to work as a team.

I cannot offer a job to those who don't have that capacity.

Sir...

Please give me another chance.

It's always been my dream to learn from you. To work for you.

Please, sir. Give me another chance.

Awan...

you can learn anywhere.

This firm doesn't seem to be the right place for you anyway.

Thanks for not getting tired of me.

Four years.

Isn't it time for me to look for someone new?

Do you think anyone will love you more than I do?

What's wrong?

What's next for us?

Lika.

I am serious about us.

I told you once before, remember?

I'm planning to move out this year,

and learn to live independently

before you move in with me.

But where's the ring?

Hello, Dad.

Yes.

Isn't she supposed to be picked up at nine?

I see. OK, Dad.

Angkasa...

Are you OK?

Awan?

Awan!

Never...

let go...

of your sisters.

They're your responsibility.

Son...

Dad, don't be mad at him.

Darling...

Honey... I'm never driving again.

Shh... It's all right.

I'm here.

Honey, where's Awan?

Awan, what happened?

-I'm OK, Mom. -Nurse, is it broken?

Mom, it's just a small fracture.

This cast makes it look worse.

-Are you sure? -Yes. You look pale, Mom.

Trust me, I'm fine.

Here, Mom.

Angkasa.

How come Awan took the MRT and crossed the street alone?

Didn't I tell you to pick her up at the office?

She wanted to take the train with friends and get picked up at the station.

I don't care what she wants.

Listen.

If I tell you to pick her up at the office then do as I say.

Understand?

Dad, Awan is an adult now.

She knows what she wants. You can't always control her.

Your job is to protect your sisters.

What's all this fuss?

Dad, it's not Angkasa's fault.

I asked him to pick me up at the station.

What's the big deal?

I never asked to be picked up anyway.

I can go home by myself.

Starting tomorrow, no more going home by yourself.

Angkasa will pick you up at the office every day.

Understand?

There's no tomorrow.

I got fired.

Don't take it too hard.

There's always a first time for everything,

including failure.

What do we do when it happens?

We get through it.

What do you think I've been doing this whole time?

Apologize.

Angkasa.

You beat up Rio.

Now apologize.

Yes, but then you got angry.

Now he gets sick, and you get a detention.

No one wins, right?

Angkasa.

It's OK to get angry, dear.

But, don't let it be the only way

to solve your problems.

But, Mom...

He pushed Awan to the ground.

Rio said it was an accident.

Even if it wasn't,

that doesn't mean you can treat him like that!

You told me to protect my sisters!

Aurora. Are you all right?

What's wrong?

Come here.

Stretch it.

Does it hurt?

It's OK if you can't compete.

Cemara will fill in for you.

OK, let's take a break.

Who pumped the tires up?

Me!

Hey, who's on the lineup?

Glenn Fredly, Kunto Aji, The Kikis, and ARAH.

ARAH? Let me come with you!

No way.

-Let me. -Dad will get mad.

Forget it. You're still in recovery. Go watch a series or something.

I've been watching series for the past five days.

I'm gonna lose my mind and die of boredom.

Talk to Dad then.

Ugh! I'd rather jump off a bridge than talk to him.

You know he wouldn't let me.

I wanna go, please!

-Please, let me. -Hey, knock it off!

Then let me go with you!

Fine. Five minutes.

Aurora, let's go!

I'll stay in.

Aurora.

You listen to Kunto Aji, right? Come on.

So if Dad gets mad, he'll scold all of us.

-I'm ready. -You sure you don't wanna come?

-Bye. Let's go. -Bye.

RAFIF ASSOCIATES - BUSINESS PROPOSAL ANTON IRIANTO

Lala, could you get me Mr. Ghani Rafif's number?

Military camouflage?

Come on!

Near the monitor...

-Hello. -Hey.

-Awan. -Hey.

I didn't expect to see you here.

I was so bored at home.

-How's your arm? Better? -It's fine. The cast makes it look worse.

Oh, gosh.

Can I write on it?

Sure.

-Where? -Right here.

-Sir, Jovan's looking for you. -OK.

Jovan. Angkasa here.

I'll be in the back. Did you bring your wallet?

-Take mine. -Angkasa, don't worry.

Stop it!

Bye.

You're here to see ARAH, right?

Yeah. I was like, "I'm coming!"

You're a big fan, right?

-Do you want some? -Sure.

Angkasa told me so many times that you love ARAH.

He told me, "You can get a pic with Roy after the gig."

He'd better not have been lying.

They'll have two songs for the encore.

Something troubling you?

-What? -Something troubling you?

No.

Kale.

-Ale? -Kale.

Ale?

Kale. K-A-L-E.

Kale?

Like the veggies.

Awan.

Awan.

-Awan? -Awan (cloud).

Awan.

I was kind of spacing out,

so when I crossed the street, I didn't look left.

I thought it was pretty late...

Suddenly, this motorcycle was coming from my left.

-Bam! -What time was it?

-Around eight o'clock. -Still crowded.

Right.

I don't know. It didn't feel crowded at the time.

I fell down.

There you are. I was looking for you everywhere.

Hey, you're kidnapping my sister?

You're Angkasa's sister?

-Yeah. -Seriously, this is your sister?

Don't we look alike?

Sorry, it was on silent.

All right. I have a meeting.

-Kale, keep an eye on my sister. -OK.

Watch out, Awan. Don't trust guys in bands!

Tanta's looking for me.

He wants to grab dinner.

Wanna come?

Tanta Ginting? The guitar player of ARAH?

You know them?

I'm their manager.

Seriously?

For real?

Yeah. Why? You're a fan?

A big fan!

How did you become their manager?

I was born and raised in Cirebon.

Always dreamed of becoming a musician.

I tried to find a way to go to university in Jakarta,

but when I got here, I didn't do well in my studies.

And I didn't get to be a musician.

I kept failing.

I joined a band once...

and they disbanded.

I was a vocalist once. Got kicked out.

Really?

After all that I went through...

I thought, maybe I wasn't meant to be a musician.

But look at you now.

Their manager resigned a year ago.

He wanted to get married and move out of the country.

So, I filled in.

When I thought more about it,

becoming a musician was just a part of my dream.

I love music. I love it so much.

But if I can't be on stage...

then backstage is fine.

The job still revolves around the stage anyway.

What?

You're making that face again.

No, I'm just amazed.

Well, because...

I don't know what it feels like to get to make choices.

Ever since I was a kid...

whenever I've wanted something, my family has provided it.

There's always someone to help me.

For example, I'm an adult now.

I'm an architect.

But, almost every day I have someone to pick me up from work.

It's Angkasa, usually.

Back in school, if I got tired from doing homework...

the entire family would help me.

Really? Must be fun.

But then I realized...

almost all the decisions I've made...

I've had to discuss with my family.

So, it's like...

I don't know what it's like to make choices.

Awan. Let's go.

Dad found out.

Can't we grab something to eat first?

Let's just eat at home. I'm sure it's prepared.

See?

-Sorry, Kale. -No problem.

-Take care. -See you.

-You OK? -Yep. Thanks, Kale.

Only you, only you can

Only you...

You have two sisters now.

Aurora and...

Awan.

Do you know what it means to be a brother?

I'll tell you.

A brother has to protect his siblings.

Why?

So they feel safe.

So they feel calm.

So they feel happy.

If one day...

Mom and I were gone...

who would take care of them?

Angkasa.

If they needed help, who would be there to help them?

Angkasa.

If they were sad...

who would give them a hug?

Angkasa.

That's all? Let's go.

Thank you, sir.

Honey?

Ajeng?

Ajeng?

It's all right

Dad's here

Mr. Anton asked you to work on the Rapip Associate project.

So, I got the job, sir?

Just for this project.

-"Associates". -What?

"Associates", sir. Not "associate".

And "Rafif", sir, not "Rapip".

Of course, you know it better. So, what do you say?

Are you in or are you out?

-I'm in, sir. -Fine. Then sign it.

I'll take this.

-Thank you, Mr. Rifai. -Yes.

Excuse me, sir.

-You're back! -I'm so excited!

So surreal, you know. I get to work for Mr. Anton.

Look at that smile.

You're hurting her!

Thank goodness your dad knows Ghani Rafif.

My dad?

Yeah.

So, here's the story.

Yesterday, I saw Mrs. Ina from HR chatting with Mr. Rifai.

Mrs. Ina, is it true that Awan is back on my team?

That stubborn girl?

Mrs. Ina just nodded.

But Mr. Rifai looked upset.

I got so excited hearing your name.

And then Mrs. Ina said...

"Mr. Anton told me.

It's a direct order from the client.

So, do you know Mr. Ghani Rafif?"

"Of course, I do. He's the developer."

Suddenly, Mr. Rifai looked shocked and started speaking in a louder voice.

"Oh! It was him?"

So loud that he spat on Mrs. Ina.

And then Mrs. Ina said...

"Right. Apparently, he's a client of Awan's father."

When they were gossiping, Mr. Anton walked by

and waved at them.

It was pretty awkward.

BROTHER

Kale?

Aurora!

I just checked upstairs.

Everything's been installed...

except for your main feature.

You know what today is?

Yes, I know. I should've brought the main feature today...

But, I'm going to finish "Niskala" first.

"Di Antara" just needs a finishing touch. I'll bring it soon.

"Soon." Last week, you said Monday.

On Monday, you said Thursday.

When is it gonna be?

Remember...

This is your first solo exhibition.

Don't mess around.

Yes, sir.

Tomorrow.

Actually, you need to be sure of one thing.

What is it that you want?

No idea.

I don't know what I want.

I don't know what to do.

I don't even know if I could take a job

that's clearly not earned by my own hard work.

I don't even know how to face people

who know that I got the job because of my dad.

What you're feeling and thinking right now is valid.

To see a broader horizon, you need to get to a higher place.

To climb up, you need courage...

You need time, and sometimes even tools.

What do you mean?

So...

From the unfinished probation--

I got fired.

OK. Fired.

After you got fired,

your dad tried to erase the fact

that you got fired by someone you look up to.

It made you unable to see something more important.

Failing. Failing so many times...

Falling.

Feeling sad.

Sometimes, sadness brings us higher.

It enables us to see things that we've never seen before.

Helps us grow.

You can't control the wind.

But you can control your sail.

-Hello, bro? -Awan,

what time should I pick you up?

I'm out with Kale. What's up?

Low battery.

Angkasa.

Who is this Kale?

A friend of yours?

Yes.

How did they meet?

They met at a concert I organized.

See, hon?

Since she met this Kale guy, she always comes home late.

Goes out all night. Can't be reached.

I'll be upstairs. I'm tired.

Yes.

Wanna hear something?

This will be the last year you get to ride a MetroMini bus.

Why is that?

Because next year, they will be discontinued.

Hungry yet?

Yeah.

Let's get some gultik.

-My dad said it's rats. -Nonsense.

-The "tik" is "tikungan" (junction). -"Tik" is "tikus" (rats)!

That's why I'm not allowed to eat it.

People say it's rats.

It's comfort food, you know.

Comfort food is pasta, pizza, noodles, sushi...

People like you need to try the real gultik.

What?

Am I eating too much?

No.

Thanks, Kale.

For what?

Well, I feel better now.

Maybe all this time, I've been too comfortable.

Sometimes comfort is a trap, Awan.

It's not about comfort, actually...

What matters is the way we search for what we want.

Now, that's the most important process, Awan.

Failing...

Being broken...

Growing.

Rising.

We can't know if we're brave

if we've never faced any fear, right?

Dude, I'm at your garage.

Right outside.

-Kale? -Hey.

-Gary. -We're about to close.

-So sorry. -No worries.

Hey. Prepare it.

-All done? -Of course.

Oh, you got a date.

Thank you.

-Here's your ride. Ready to go. -OK.

Thank you, Gary.

All right.

Awan.

What?

Afraid of motorcycles?

Now's the time to be brave.

It's safe.

It's OK.

Use your fear as a remedy.

Easy.

It's all right.

Hold on.

Where have you been?

Who let you ride a motorcycle?

Hey, get that Kale guy on the phone.

Tell him to get back here.

Dad, this has nothing to do with him.

I asked him to drive me home. I wanted to get on that motorcycle.

I wanted to taste fear and face my own problems.

You humiliated me!

I never asked you to get your client

to get me a job at Anton Irianto's firm!

It's what you've always wanted since high school, isn't it?

What's wrong with me trying to help?

What's wrong?

Dad, now everyone knows I got the job not because of my capacity,

but because of my connections!

All this time we've been helping you, have you ever complained?

No, you haven't.

I am the one who provides everything.

Isn't that right?

I risked my professional connection

so you could get the job you've always wanted.

You should be grateful.

I never asked for it!

I never told you or anyone that I must get that job!

Did you ask me?

You never did, did you?

I may be the youngest,

but I want to be like my siblings,

who've worked hard on their own.

I want to be proud of myself, too, Dad!

All I want is for you to have a better life.

What's wrong with that?

Why is it always about you?

Dad,

the only person who can help me...

is myself.

No one else.

Not even you, Dad.

It's my battle to fight.

I don't understand her.

Am I not good enough?

Ajeng?

Take a look.

Yes, ma'am.

Wan?

Try this.

Just try it.

-Thank you. -Thank you.

-May I have some? -No.

I bought this for snacking on at home.

-You can only have one. -OK, one.

-The Netherlands? -Yes.

It's hollow inside, Le.

But you should try...

It's actually good or are you really hungry?

It's good.

How do you know this place?

It's like a hidden gem.

My landlady told me about it.

It's been a while.

-Mr. Ade! How are you? -Thank Allah, I'm fine.

What are you having?

-The usual. Eyeballs, no throat. -Right.

Eyeballs?

-Legs for her. -Just one?

You want legs?

Thanks.

Goat leg is not bad.

It's good, right?

How do you feel now? Better?

Much better.

Lighter.

Yesterday, I felt so heavy.

I felt too burdened.

Can I write on it?

Sure.

Where are you gonna write?

Here seems good.

BE PATIENT, ONE STEP AT A TIME

-All set. -OK.

Aurora.

Are you sure about this?

I can do it, coach.

Honestly I really like the aesthetic of the design.

It suits the event,

and makes it easier for Lika to sell space to the brands.

I wonder if we could set up an empty space here for brands...

DAD: ANY NEWS FROM AWAN?

Now, let's talk about the budget.

Angkasa?

Sorry. It's my dad. It's urgent.

Listen, Angkasa. This isn't the first time you've been distracted

at work by your personal affairs.

This is a massive event we're handling!

OK, continue.

DAD: FIND AWAN. SHE CAN'T MISS AURORA'S EXHIBITION.

We'll go straight to Aurora's exhibition. We're running late.

I'm not wearing this to the exhibition.

It's nice.

I can't do that to Aurora.

The dress code is black.

-No one cares. -I care.

It's just an outfit.

I just want to show my appreciation for your sister.

If we can't even agree on outfits, then maybe we shouldn't be together.

What are you talking about? You want to take a taxi?

Come on, don't over-complicate this.

You know what's the bigger problem?

I haven't heard from Awan at all.

Even when we fight, you have to bring up your family.

Let's go home and get changed. But hurry up.

Four years.

We've been together for four years, but I never feel like I'm a priority.

I don't mind,

because I know your life isn't just about me.

I don't mind waiting for us to get to the same place.

You, with your dreams.

Me, with my dreams.

We'll make it all come true together.

I'm already there, Angkasa.

But you're not there yet.

And as long as you're still living in your family's shadow,

I don't see it happening anytime soon.

You're breaking up with me?

This is one of the pieces with elements of tapestry.

There's some more over there, if you want to have a look.

-The one with... -Hi.

I'll leave you with Mr. Ator. Excuse me.

-Aurora! -Hey!

Ah, yes.

Would you excuse me for a second?

Mom.

Hi.

Congratulations, dear.

Congratulations.

Congratulations, Aurora.

Thank you.

What's that?

This one is "Niskala."

"Niskala..."

Where's Awan?

No news?

So, this one is "Niskala"?

Thanks for coming, Dad.

You sure you're not coming?

It won't be long, I promise.

Just go. Your family's waiting for you.

What's the matter?

See you later.

This one is a bit different from the others.

It still has the same element, but the others are more--

Sis.

Will you excuse me?

Congratulations.

Sorry, I'm late.

It's OK. Wanna look around?

Awan!

-Are you Aurora? -Yes.

We really like your work.

-May I ask a few questions? -Of course.

I don't really get it.

Looking at all that black. It's depressing, you know?

Well, for me, it's like...

a situation...

in the middle...

for me personally...

I've been trying to call you for hours.

-I've been texting you for hours. -Enough, Dad.

Stop making a big deal out of everything!

Go, Aurora!

Keep your focus!

Awesome, Aurora!

Dad!

-Dad! -Aurora!

Dear...

Aurora!

So, what? I'm here now! What's the problem?

I was worried about you.

I'll leave you here a moment.

No. What's the big deal? You just want me to obey you.

I was worried!

You weren't!

-You just want me to do as you say. -That's what you think.

If you wanna fight, just leave.

Do it at home.

Can you just stop making a scene?

This exhibition is important to me.

Awan?

Lift her up, help me.

Breathe, Aurora.

Aurora, dear.

Are you OK, dear?

What I meant was-- Please listen.

Go home.

Now.

Please.

Aurora...

It's OK if you wanna go home, too.

Aurora.

Ajeng, ask them to come here.

I think we need to talk,

after what happened at the exhibition.

Tonight was supposed to be Aurora's special night.

Angkasa, you knew that, right?

Awan, you, too?

You all knew it was an important day for her.

Our argument at the gallery would not have happened

if we had been able to reach you.

If you had listened to me.

Awan, your change of behavior lately

is also because of your brother, Angkasa.

You do know your job as a brother, right?

Right?

To protect your sisters.

And what happened?

She's still not well and needs more rest,

but you brought her into your circle.

She met a terrible influence, which has impacted our family.

Why are you blaming Angkasa and Kale?

Who taught you that? Talking back to me like that.

I did it all because I love you.

I always ask Angkasa to pick you up because I almost lost you once.

When you didn't listen to me, I almost lost you again!

Don't you dare forget this.

It was never my intention to smother you, you, or you.

I do it all solely because I'm afraid of losing you.

My children.

So, you're afraid?

Yes.

Afraid of losing us?

You.

All of you lost me a long time ago.

Aurora.

Aurora.

Forgive me, it's my fault.

It's my fault.

Awan, this is not your fault.

This is Dad's fault.

He should be responsible for everything.

All he does is blaming, denying,

and ordering everyone in our family to hide our wounds.

Telling us to pretend that everything's fine!

What did you just say?

What? You want me to shut up?

For 21 years, Dad, I've kept my silence.

All that time, I was forced to swallow lies.

I was just a fool,

who was never given any explanation as to what actually happened.

Mom. Say something. Tell us, Mom.

Say something. Say that you're hurt, too.

Say that you can't take it either.

Mom?

Mom...

Mom.

When I was a kid, I saw you crying behind closed doors.

Mom, please tell us the truth.

I know you still keep those little socks.

Say something, Mom. This is not fair for us, Mom.

What's he talking about?

What happened in this house that I didn't know?

-Angkasa. -No, tell me! What is it?

-What? -Angkasa.

What is it?

You don't know what you're talking about!

-What is it that I don't know? -Aurora.

Awan had a twin brother.

We had a brother that we never knew.

Dad constantly tried to hide it

because he didn't want us to have any trauma.

So we wouldn't have to experience loss.

What matters is that we're happy.

How can we be happy

if we're not allowed to feel what we feel?

Enough!

Good evening, Mrs. Ajeng and Mr. Rendra.

She's pretty.

Where's my other baby?

Why wouldn't they let me see him?

I just want to see him.

What do you actually feel?

You never told us anything.

Never showed us anything.

We never know...

what your heart actually feels.

There was nothing left for me, dear.

I didn't even get to see your brother.

I don't have any memory of what his face looked like.

I regained consciousness two days after giving birth.

And your dad was right,

we both had to pull ourselves together

because we still had the three of you.

Aurora,

your dad is the best man I've ever met in my life.

Why are you talking about Dad?

I asked, how do you really feel?

Angkasa saw everything, but he was kept in the dark.

What about his feelings?

So, Awan and I can just be lied to that easily?

Mom,

the world doesn't only revolve around Dad.

When was the last time You slept peacefully?

Life can be strange at times, Kale.

Last week, I...

I was just me.

Now, I find out that I had a brother who died when he was born.

And I didn't know anything about him all my life.

Relying solely on money

Chasing beauty...

You know what's the strangest thing?

I may not be the best...

The people that I thought would never hurt me...

To hold you

-From the isolation -They lie to me...

Of the unfair world

We all fail

Raise your glass

Let's grieve together

It's a waste after all

Despair, painfully engraved

More than enough...

If only I had known what you've been feeling all along.

Forgive me.

I haven't been a good brother to you.

A picture of you recorded timelessly

Brokenhearted children, lonely parents

The long-forgotten commitment The faded relationships

A retreat to the past All you do is reminisce

Searching for an escape

From the devotion that burned out

Crumbling into dust

We all fail

Grab a tissue

Feel the sadness enough as it is

Enough as it is

It will soon be replaced

It's not the time for you to answer it all

It's enough as it is

Honey, 21 years is not a short period of time.

You had to endure it all alone.

You've been in pain for too long.

Don't you think you deserve to be happy, too?

Ajeng,

we still have a long way ahead of us.

We must find a way to get through this.

Tears won't solve anything.

They don't need to know about this sadness.

Let's keep it to ourselves.

This should be the last time we feel this way.

OK?

-Ah, you're home. -Hi.

Who's this? Your girlfriend?

-I'll be upstairs. -OK.

It's OK, right?

How's it? Still hurts?

-No, it's fine. -It's fine?

What's the matter?

I never hear you sing.

I wrote this song four years ago.

What are we?

What do you expect us to be?

If you need someone to cheer you up,

or when you need company,

I'll be there.

But that's it.

What do you mean?

If you're looking for someone to make you happy,

I'm not the one.

Not because I don't like you,

but because I don't want to be responsible for someone else's happiness,

no matter who they are.

Not even you.

I...

I really want us to try, Kale.

To be something more than we are right now.

I believe we can make each other happy.

Happiness is our own responsibility, Awan.

I was happy once.

But then the feeling was taken away abruptly.

I don't want that to happen again.

To make sure of that,

I can't let anyone become a part of me.

I choose not to be attached to others.

This is all I can give.

Be patient.

I'm sure there's a way out for everything.

One step at a time.

I'll get you some water, OK?

Everything we've been afraid of is happening.

And it seems like you're not ready to deal with this.

They are my children as well.

You need to know that...

not once have I ever felt that I lost you.

And you..

You will never lose me.

Of all of my children,

you are the strongest...

who's able to fight for everything on your own.

Let's find Awan and Angkasa, OK?

Mom?

Do you want me to drive?

It's fine.

I can do this.

Awan?

Where are you?

Mom.

You deserve to be happy.

Not just Dad.

My happiness...

is your dad.

He's not a perfect husband.

He's made lots of mistakes.

Honey.

So, we're not going out?

Well, it's raining.

But your Dad...

has given me such invaluable happiness.

Sorry, we had to stay in.

No worries.

You make the best fried rice.

It's second to none.

Thank Allah it's raining.

Words sure have power.

-We need candles. -Yes.

Old man.

This should've happened at a restaurant,

with live music.

I don't want to seem pathetic,

but it's still a candlelit dinner.

You know I didn't have anybody.

I didn't have anything.

But, when I met you...

I finally knew..

I finally knew what happiness meant.

I might not be able to afford a house as good as your parents',

or be the man they'd want.

But I can promise you that, if you want to be with me...

That is if you accept my proposal.

I can promise you one thing...

you won't see a glimpse of sadness in our life.

No matter how hard...

or painful it is,

happiness still stays within us.

Because your dad...

fought for every drop of happiness...

that he gave to me.

To all of us.

-Aunty. -Hi, Lika.

-How are you? -I'm good.

I'll be outside.

Have a seat.

It's all my fault, Mom.

If I just hadn't lost control,

Awan and Aurora wouldn't need to know everything.

That's not your responsibility.

It's not.

Angkasa,

forgive me.

We put too much of a burden on you.

You were only six years old when your brother died,

but you took the responsibility like an adult.

We never asked how you felt...

or what you thought.

I'm sorry for disappointing you, Mom.

I should've held myself back.

It was time, my dear.

Nothing needs to be forgiven.

Let's go home, OK?

Give your dad a chance to fix it all.

You tie that one up.

Like this?

Not like that.

Here, let me show you.

You put it here,

and pull it hard.

It's tight? Now lift it slowly, OK?

With me.

Pull the latch and push it in.

Done.

All set?

-We did it. -Yay!

Well done. You helped me a lot.

I applied for a scholarship.

In London.

Didn't get it.

I thought it could be...

my ticket to escape home.

I mean, I felt like...

I was always on my own anyway.

So, I figured...

Why the hell not?

Sometimes,

Dad's over-protectiveness towards Awan makes us feel isolated.

Yet, she tries to run away.

Sorry for stealing his attention from you guys.

So, we had another brother, huh?

Dad always tells us...

"No need to be sad,"

so often that I keep saying it, too, unconsciously.

Maybe he thinks feelings can be controlled...

with the flick of a button.

Click "On", and you'll feel happy.

"Off", you'll be sad.

Click "On", and you'll feel happy again.

Like a robot.

I can't imagine being you, Angkasa.

Let alone Mom.

Losing a brother and a son,

yet you're not allowed to be sad.

For decades.

What does it feel like?

Have you prepared gifts for your baby siblings?

Yes. I have one for my brother,

and one for my sister. Right, Dad?

I kept quiet because I was too tired to complain.

But, I'm sure it was far worse for Dad.

That's why he always tells us to not let sadness in.

Maybe our happiness can wash away his sadness.

I think Dad is struggling, too,

just like we are.

It's all right, honey.

We're here.

Our children are home.

Let me get the door.

Aunty.

-How are you? -I'm fine.

-Hi. -Son.

-Lika, let's go downstairs. -OK.

Let me take you around.

-Dad, want some coffee? -Sure.

So, how's it going?

Dad!

-Sweetie! -Are you all right?

Sweetie!

Mr. Rendra.

There's a document you need to sign.

Why are you withdrawing your pension fund?

There's something much more important.

Thank you.

FOR AWAN

Thank you, Dad.

I should be the one thanking you, Aurora.

Despite all my mistakes,

you still love me.

Go on.

Go.

Find what you're looking for.

Just add this one.

So it's that way, right?

That's all.

-MOM: AWAN, WHERE ARE YOU? -WORKING LATE WITH ANGKASA.

MOM: OK, TAKE CARE. WE'LL TALK LATER.

Life is funny.

What we seek disappears.

What we chase runs away.

Until we get tired and let go...

And that's when the universe starts working.

Sometimes things go as planned.

Other times, better than expected.

Run wherever you want...

as far as you want,

as fast as you can...

However...

your problems will always be there.

They're there.

Behind you.

Until you're brave enough to turn around and face them.

My prayers will always be with you, my daughter.

One day, we'll talk about today.

Tomorrow, we'll do better.