Original subtitles

[ Gunshots, vehicle approaching ]

[ Laughter ]

Shoot it, you idiot! Bam!

[ Laughter ]

I want to draw somethin', too!

[ Zipper opens ]Yeah. Oh!

Sheriff: Freeze! Stop right there!Huh?

The last slice is mine, Carl.

My station, my rules, baby. [ Chuckles ]

Oh. Ha.

Yo, Carl. Nice shot, yo.

Oh, thanks.Pshh. That's nothin'.

Check this out.

Ha!

Hey. Bam!

In your face, Carl!

I think I just invented the greatest sport!

I call it...trashketball.

[ Up-tempo hip-hop plays ]Come on, everybody!

Sheriff: [ Rapping ] ♪ Cram it, jam it, crumble and toss ♪

♪ If you're throwin' stuff away, do it like a boss ♪

♪ Trashketball's here, and it's a new kind of game ♪

♪ And if you don't like it, you're totally lame ♪

♪ Trashketball, ball

♪ Your momma said trashketball

Trashketball trick shot!

[ Grunts ] Huh?

Aw, man!

Hey! Come back here!

Sheriff, I'm sick of you goofing off with your friends

here at the station!

Our bad.Don't apologize, Carl.

You don't get to speak for the friend group.

Is this evidence?

Boomshakalaka![ Laughter ]

Man: ♪ Run around town

♪ Stealin' and killin' is how I get down ♪Sheriff: What?

♪ Well, you better be aware of somethin' ♪

♪ 'Cause Momma named me Sheriff ♪

♪ Momma ♪ Now you got it

♪ Momma ♪ And don't forget it

Oh, no. I'd better go. [ Laughs ]

♪ M-O-M-M-A named me

♪ Momma named me Sheriff

♪ My momma named me Sheriff ♪

[ Down-tempo music plays ][ Laughter ]

Trashketball trick shot! Ho!

Ooh. Ah.

Oh! Uh-huh.

Carl: Yeah.I got it. I got it!

Sheriff![ Grunts ]

Oh, what's up, Mayor?

See? I told you.

Sheriff's friends are everywhere, like animals.

[ Snarling ]

Sheriff, crime is at an all-time high.

What I need is strong law enforcement,

not whatever this is.

It's called trashketball.

See? It's like trick sh--I don't care!

From now on, authorized persons only in the station.

Oh, I agree, Mayor.

And I won't rest until law and order is returned.

Stanley, why don't you take a break

and have lunch with your family?

Uh, Beverly, you know you're not allowed

to be in here while I'm working.

Anyways, goodbye! Stanley?

Just focus on cleaning up this town.

It's teeming with all sorts of...hooligans.

Ahh.

Uh, boom... shaka-layka -- laka.

What? [ Groans ]

Yo, that was crazy, right?

Yeah! Goodman ruined trashketball!No!

I'm talkin' about how the mayor was undressin' me

with her eyes, yo!Wait. What?

So, uh, y'all want to get some seafood

down at the River Tavern?

Ooh! It's so good! So spicy!

No. Sure.

As long as there's no shrimp.

I'll pretty much puke out of my ears if I eat shrimp.

That's nasty! [ Laughs ]Come on, y'all!

Wait. Don't go!

There's got to be a way to keep you guys around the station.

Hey.

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

Aah! [ Laughs ]

Stop! Sheriff's Depart-- Aah!

[ Laughter ]

[ Grunts, groans ]

I could really use some help out --

Hey.[ Chanting ]

Stanley: What the heck is going on in here?

I'm just trying to write a love poem for the mayor, yo.

Not you. Them!

Quiet! I'm knighting Mr. BoJenkins.

What?!

[ Chanting ]

Now, do you accept this sword?

We get swords and helmets? I do!

Sir Linda, do you accept this sword?

I'm an animal with a sword now! Ow! [ Laughs ]

And, Sir Carl, do you accept this sword?

Aye, and all the great power she wieldeth,

until my last, bloody breath.

Now, by the --I shall call you Krissandra,

Sword of Sir Carl the Mighty.

'Kay.

Now I declare you all official knights

of the Neighborhood Knight Watch!

Which authorizes them to be in this station, Goodman.

I think it's a great idea. You do.

I mean, this is about getting out there

and fighting some crime, not hanging around the station.

Totally.

Great. Let's goeth, y'all.Yeah!

Wait! Don't leave me here with nothing but a job!

Stanley: [ Laughs ]

Aw, where are they?

Oh, maybe your friends are having more fun

keeping the peace than playing garbageball.

It's called trashketball! You just don't get it.

Your problem is that you put your work before -- your wife.No.

Beverly has always understood that my job comes first.

No, I meant your wife. Right there.

Oh! Hi, Beverly. I didn't see you there.

Uh, say, what's for dinner tonight? Mm-hmm!

Well, I thought I'd make my special chili.

But if you're going to be working late --

Sounds great, honey. I'll see ya.

Hey, slow down! Too fast! Whoa!

Almost hit him!I'm tryin', stupid!

Now, get back here, deer!

[ Screeching ]

Aah! What the hell?!

Ha! Aah! Aah!

[ Carl humming, sword scraping ]

[ Suspenseful music plays ]

Uh, w-what seems to be the problem, uh, C-Carl?

Does thou knoweth why we pulled ye over?

'Cause we stole this here car?

Nope. Ye were driving one mile over thine limit.

[ Tires screech ] Hey!

Okay. Hey, everybody. Good work.

But, uh, how about we head back

and play a round of trashketball?

Ha! Knights doth not play.

Aah![ Glass shatters ]

Taketh these wicked ones to the dungeon.

Dungeon?! What?

This whole dumb thing

was just so we could play trashketball at the station.

Nay. We took an oath.

Shut up, Carl!

You don't get to speak for the friend group.

Easy, Carl.

Sheriff hath besmirched our honor.

Are we knights or not?

We are knights!

And we follow Sir Carl the Mighty! [ Laughs ]

Huh? Uh...Huh? Uh...

Mayor: Blade, for the hundredth time,

your proposal to fight crime

with genetically reanimated dinosaurs is denied.

[ Automated voice ] Aw. Motherfu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fu....

[ Indistinct shouting ]

'Sup, Mayor?What do you need?

I noticed how you been looking at me,

and the lookin's mutual.

Mm! I don't follow.

Check my verses, girl![ Down-tempo music plays ]

Yo, I wrote you dis poem 'cause you got my blood flow'em.

I'm tryin' to get with ya,

climb up them tall legs, and let you tickle my peninsula.

Oh. Let's make a love sammich, okays?

I'll be your pickle. You can be my mayor-naise.

Herman, that was the worst poem I've ever heard. Aw.

But the courage to recite it requires such strength.

That's what's up, girl.

Mmm... Mmm...

Mayor! We need your help!You got to come quick.

Man, not now, yo!

What?

[ Indistinct shouting, siren wailing ]Stanley: Look.

They've been making arrests all over town

with no regard for protocol!

Plus, we haven't played any trashketball!

Woman: Will somebody help me?!

Aah! [ Grunts, laughs ]

I, Sir Carl the Mighty, will help.

Ha![ Choir vocalizing ]

Ow! Oh, thank you!

Aah!

Aah! Oh!

♪♪

Uh...

Wow. You've shown such...strength.

W-What?

So, are you shuttin' the knights down or what?

What?! These knights just stopped more crime

than you have all year.

I'm giving them the station. What?!

You three have embarrassed me for far too long.

But, Shawty Boo!

Now, Sir Carl, is there anything that you need?

How 'bout a sword that's good for cuttin' people's teeth out?!

[ Laughs ]

[ Hinges squeak, door closes ]

Dispatch: The Mayor, she don't love me, yo.

Nah. It's Carl's heart that she seek.

So I'm stuck here at Sheriff's crib

watchin' Momma beat her meat.

[ Sighs ]

Hey, why don't you stop whining and help me fill out

these Knight Watch disbanding ordinance forms?

And then we can finally play some trashketball!

No! My form!

Aww! Momma! Candy's ruinin' my trick shots!

If you're gonna work out of my kitchen,

you best be nice to your sister! Hm!

Oh! This is all your fault for snitchin' to the mayor!

You want to see snitchin'? This is snitching!

Sheriff's momma, Sheriff told you he cleaned his room,

but he didn't.

[ Groans ] That's it!

[ Keypad beeping ]Knight-1-1?

Sheriff won't clean his room. Okay. Thank you.

Goodman, you're such a little snitchy-bitchy bitch!

You're a snitchy-bitchy bitch![ Rumbling ]

You're a snitchy-bitchy bitch!

[ Glass shatters, fanfare plays ]

Make way for Sir Carl the Mighty!Make way for Sir Carl the Mighty!

[ Choir vocalizing ]

Oh. Hey, Carl. Cool horse.

[ Horse whinnies ]

How darest thou dishonor thine Momma.

I banish thee to ye bedroom tower

until it be cleaned, all right?

What? I'm not doin' that!

Hey! Watch it, jerk!

Well, now ye are banished as well.

Stanley: What?Sir Linda?

[ Screeching ]

Knight-1-1. A jaywalker?

[ Cellphone beeps ]Sir BoJenkins...

[ Reins snap, horse whinnies ]...we ride.

Ooh. Somethin' a man in armor sure gets me worked up.

Oh, yeah.

Hmm, yo. Hmm.

Linda: Aah-ha!

Faster, y'all! Faster!

I'm trying! Aah!

I've received some complaints

about overly aggressive policing.

Sorry. Sir Carl can get a little rough.

No. It's wonderful. Crime is down!

Yo, yo, yo! Listen up!

I'm tryin' to be a knight, y'all,

with a big-ass sword all clangin' on my hip.

You? A knight?

Clang, clang, girl.

Clang, clang. Ooh.

Very well, young Dispatch.

Kneel before me.

Yeah! That's what's up!

And while you're down there, polish my sword, squire.

Squire?

[ Laughter ]Aw, man.

[ Groans ] Let us out of here!

[ Sighs ] [ Sighs ] Come on.

We're stuck here until we clean your room.

We wouldn't be stuck in here if you didn't snitch

to the mayor on me and my friends.

Your friends are who locked us in here!

What do you know about friends?

Nothing! 'Cause you don't have any!

That's right. I don't have any friends.

In fact, I barely even get to see my family!

[ Cellphone beeps ]Hi, honey! It's me!

Beverly: Stanley, where are you? We need to talk.

Sorry. Not right now.

I'm in the middle of cleaning Sheriff's room --

which is my job, because I work for a child

who lives with his momma

and wants to spend all of his time playing garbageball.

Beverly: What?[ Cellphone beeps ]

It's called trashketball, and I am not a child!

Right, Abigail?

[ High-pitched voice ] Well, Sheriff --

[ Normal voice ] Aw, you're right.

I guess we're both losers.[ Sighs ]

And we're gonna stay losers.

There's no way we'll get that station back

as long as the knights have control of Old Town.

But what if they didn't? Okay.

Then the mayor would realize that she needs us.

Create trouble they can't control.

Yeah. But what kind of trouble?

Uh, we could paint the dashed yellow road lines into solids!

You need to stop thinkin' like a deputy

and start thinkin' like a sheriff.

Okay.

What we need... is a dragon.

A dragon. Yeah!

Everyone knows that dragons are the number-one reason

that knights get chased out of castles.

Mm. Dragons don't exist.

But we do have a pterodactyl display

down at the natural history museum!

Yeah! Pterodactyl, dragon -- same thing!

If we could get ahold of those bones,

we could make something that would scare the knights!

Yeah. Like a real dragon!

Sure. Huh.

Too bad there's no way out of here.

Well, I guess the time has come to use the emergency bed.

What?[ Engine revs ]

Hold on!

[ Engine revs, tires screech ]

Mm.

Linda: [ Growling, sniffing ]

All right. Coast is clear.

Stanley: Once we get these pterodactyl bones,

we'll need some green paint for the skin...

Uh-huh.

...uh, maybe a smoke machine. Yeah.

Oh, I can't wait to see the look on their faces

when they see our real dragon. Uh-huh. Yeah.

One. Real. Dragon. Coming up.

Wait. What's he doing here?

Well, Blade's, like, the only guy in town who knows

how to actually bring a dragon back from the dead.

What?

The. Animator. Is. Ready.

Animator?!Hit it, Blade.

Rock. And roll. What?

We're trying to make something that'll scare the knights,

not create a real monster that will destroy the town.

I'm putting a stop to this right now!

No! I want to make a dragon!

There's no such thing as dragons!

Yeah-huh! Aah!

Oh, fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fu....

Wh-o-o-o-o-o-oa!

...failure.

Huh?!

[ Roars ]

What have you done?!

Whoops. Uh, I guess we're dragons now.

[ Sobbing ] Sheriff!

[ Dramatic music plays ]

Squire, your strokes have grown feeble upon mine skin.

What troubles thee?

[ Sighs ] I'm in love with the mayor, yo.

But thing is, she's into knights --

specifically you.

Hmm. You do well to bring me yon tidbit, squire.

We'll make a knight of you yet.

Yeah! That's a promotion, baby!

Yes.

With my knights at my side,

we shall bring all of Old Town to heel.

Speak for the friend group?

Nay. I shall speak for all.

[ Dragons roaring, crowd screaming ]

♪♪

Ew. What beith these accursed creatures?

Yo, I think that's Sheriff and Goodman!

Hey, knights! We're dragons now!

Right, Goodman?Uh, yeah. Sure.

You better get out of that station

before I use my dragon powers!

Stanley? What happened to you?

Oh! Beverly, n-now, I'm right in the middle of something.

It's always something with you.

When are you gonna have the time to --

Let me just take back the station,

and I promise I'll take care of whatever it is

that you're talking about.Yeah!

We're gonna be playing trashketball in no time! Ha!

Carl: Nay.

There shall be no trashketball in this kingdom.

If you truly be dragons, then a battle it must be.

[ Crowd murmuring ]

Let's go.[ Both roaring ]

Aah! Ow!

Aah![ Hand slaps ]

Oh! My t-- Aah!

Thou doth not fly nor breatheth fire.[ Laughter ]

Ye be not dragons.

Ye just be a couple of losers.

What is the meaning of this?

My mayor, I have defeated these losers in your honor.

But the only thing I'm missing now is a queen.

Wait. What?

Will thou... Aw, hell...

...marry me?

...no![ Crowd murmuring ]

He just wants to get that power!

[ Gasps ] A marriage proposal for power?

How strong! I accept!

[ Crowd cheering ]No!

Hey, what's goin' on down there?

Now, Sir Carl...Slow down, son.

...what shall we do with these losers?

Slay 'em![ Crowd cheering ]

Cut off their heads and make soup out the blood!

Uh, that might be a little much.

Nay. If they were dragons, I would slay.

But they are not even worth my blade.

[ Crowd jeering ]Instead, I shall banish them

from Old Town for all eternity.

[ Crowd cheering ]What?!

Linda: [ Laughs ]

Crowd: [ Chanting ] Hail Carl the Mighty!

Hail Carl the Mighty!

[ Down-tempo music plays ][ Gulping ]

Ha! [ Gulps ]

Sheriff, what are you doing?!

Leave me alone, Goodman!

Maybe if I drink enough of this, I can breathe fire,

and then Carl will respect me.

We can't breathe fire.

We can't fly.

We're not dragons! [ Grunts ]

I lost everything because of you!

Oh, yeah?!

Well, I lost more because of you!

I had friends. I had --

If you say trashketball one more time --

Trashketball!

Trashketball! Trashketball! Trashketball!

Hey! Yo, yo, yo, yo!Stanley: [ Mumbling ]

What are you doing here, traitor?

Yeah. Please.

I got somethin' I need to say. Hmph.

I know I screwed up. That was not cool, my dudes.[ Down-tempo music plays ]

But to make it up to y'all... I brought spicy seafoods!

Food! [ Grunts ]

We've been eatin' rats for, like, weeks, man.

Yeah. How are things in Old Town?

Sucks.

Carl and the mayor are gettin' ready

to celebrate their love tonight with a big-ass engagement feast.

Yeah. Sorry about that, man.

Plus, at the stroke of midnight, Carl's reign will begin.

Kids have to pledge allegiance to Carl.

Babies got to be named Carl or Carlina.

And they're renaming Old Town Carl Town.

Pshh. I mean, I'd take his ass down myself,

but with all that armor, only weakness he got

is that bald spot inside that crown, yo.

[ Sighs ]

Stanley: Ha!

Wait.

Do that again.

Um, okay.

[ Suspenseful music plays ][ Bird squawks ]

There. [ Gasps ]

Goodman, your dragon power

is that you're the greatest trashketball player of all time!

Swell. Listen.

If you could trick-shot something heavy

into Carl's crown,

we could knock Carl out and take him down!

And then we could get the station and our lives back!

No. Nothing gets past Carl's blade.

This will never work.

[ Sighs ] You're right, Goodman.

Guess I'm just a big loser

with an upset tum-tum full of spicy seafood --

[ Burps ][ Choir vocalizing ]

Ahh!

[ Dramatic music plays ]

[ Humming ][ Hoofbeats ]

Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo!

Aah!

Gimme that.

Sheriff, you're all clear.Sheriff: Roger that.

[ Static hisses ]

♪♪

[ Fife playing ]Carl: [ Laughs ]

Oh, what a great gathering.

Everybody's having such a good time.

Sir BoJenkins, make him smile.

Smile!Aah!

Ah. More drink.

More feast. Mm.

For at the stroke of midnight,

y'all shall bend thy knee before me.

And then we will truly starteth this party.

A party that sucketh, yo!

What? Oh!

Aw, yeah!

It is I, Sir Dispatch,

here to take you out with one last shot!

Last shot? [ Laughs ] Aah!

[ Grunts ] Aah!

Thou doth not have a shot.

[ Crowd murmuring, laughing ]

Oh. I thinketh he doth.

Hey, yo, Carl, need a light?

Huh? Ahh...

[ Burps ]

[ Crowd murmuring ]

Sir BoJenkins, get that foul beast

and feed his entrails to the doggie.

No. [ Crowd gasps ]

I will not!

You might think you're the king of Old Town, Carl,

but you'll never be the king of friendship. Yeah!

Ha. You're too late, Sheriff.

It's never too late for one last shot.

Take it, Goodman.

[ Chanting ] Shot! Shot! Shot!Fine. Give it your best shot.

Ah. [ Exhales deeply, grunts ]

He shoots.

Sheriff: Ahh...

Mr. BoJenkins: He...

Crowd: Ohh...

Score![ Crowd groans ]

[ Chuckles ] A toast.

To their missed last shot.

[ Gulps, laughs ]

[ Clears throat ][ Buzzer sounds ]

It's in! Ha.

He missed the shot.No, he didn't.

You see, Goodman sank a little surprise into your glass.

Huh?[ Crowd murmuring, laughing ]

Shrimp, Carl.

[ Crowd gasps ]What's he talking about?

Shrimp? Shrimp?

You see, the real trash can...

was your mouth.

What? No. It c-- It can't be.

If I eat shrimp, I'll pretty much puke out of my...

That's right....puke out of my...

You just ate......puke out of my...

...shrimp.

...ears.

Blagh![ Crowd shouting ]

Oh! Oh! Ooh!

Oh! Disgusting!

Oh, no! I'm sorry!

Oh!

[ Crowd shouting ]

[ Grunts ] Somebody help me.

Food allergies are the ultimate weakness.

The engagement is off!

What?! No! Please!

The knights are finished. Sheriff, the station is yours.

Yeah!

All righty!

Herman? Nah. Don't even talk to me, yo.

[ Singsong voice ] I'll let you give me a bath.

Oh, word? [ Laughs ] Yeah!

[ Down-tempo music plays ]

Sheriff: Okay.[ Gunshot ]

I think you knights learned your lesson, huh?

My bad, Sheriff.

Nobody ever let me have any power before.

Guess it kind of went to my head.

And, Linda --

I ain't apologizin' for shit!

[ Laughter ]

You know, I'd like to apologize too.

Making that shot made me realize --

Maybe a little fun and friendship at work

is a good thing.

Now, how about we go celebrate down at the River Tavern?

[ Laughter ]

Stanley, where are you going?

You promised you'd come home after you got your station back.

Relax! I'm just getting a round of drinks with my friends.

I'll be home as soon as you know it.

Come on, fellas!

No.Huh?

Tommy, do the thing.♪ La-la-la, la, la, la

Stanley, I'm leaving you.

What?

Ooh. This is awkward.

Is this because of how I look?

No, it's not. I mean, it doesn't help, but...

When you were banished, it dawned on me.

Nothing was really different

except you weren't there to ignore me anymore.

But I --And not feeling ignored

was the happiest I've been in years.

Beverly, baby, please. I -- No.

♪ La-la-la, la, la, la... You had our whole marriage to say something,

and it's too late.♪ La, la, la

♪ La-la-la, la, la, la, la [ Muffled voices ]

[ Laughs ] Time's runnin' out!

He shoots. He scores![ Sobbing ]

Oh, Beverly!

Ah, cheer up, Goodman.

Maybe your wife's out there discoverin' herself

and kissin' all kinds of hunky boys.

What? Look on the bright side.

Now you got friends!

Oh! What am I gonna do now?

You're gonna get right back up on that horse.

Yeah. You got to date some other horses.

I'll never find another horse.

[ Snorts, laughs ] Mm.

Another round, please.

Linda: [ Laughing ]Stanley: [ Sobbing ]

[ Thudding ]

You like that, dragon?![ Groans ]

Oh! Then say it, dragon!

Oh, no! Say it!

[ Sobbing ] Slay me, Sir Linda.

Aah! [ Sobs ]

Ooh! I'm a dirty dragon!

[ Sobs ] Oh! Oh, what am I doing?

[ Groans ] [ Laughing ]

Beverly!

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