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1
00:00:14,100 --> 00:00:16,200
- Nice.
- Hmm.
2
00:00:16,234 --> 00:00:18,534
- Whoa.
- Nice dragon.
3
00:00:18,568 --> 00:00:21,038
Who is ready to party?
4
00:00:21,070 --> 00:00:23,070
- Yeah!
- Hey!
5
00:00:23,105 --> 00:00:25,545
Who's ready to throw down a jam?
6
00:00:28,742 --> 00:00:30,842
Come on, guys.
Really?
7
00:00:30,876 --> 00:00:32,746
You know, I gotta say, people,
you really phoned it in.
8
00:00:32,777 --> 00:00:34,887
Osric is the only guy
who's in costume.
9
00:00:34,912 --> 00:00:36,142
I'm not in a costume.
10
00:00:36,180 --> 00:00:38,610
You're wearing a dress and a
fruit hat.
11
00:00:38,647 --> 00:00:40,757
You're so old.
12
00:00:40,783 --> 00:00:43,313
The point is guys, it's All
Hallow's Eve.
13
00:00:43,351 --> 00:00:46,921
We need tricks, we need treats,
we need ghosts and goblins.
14
00:00:46,954 --> 00:00:48,154
I got spirits.
15
00:00:48,187 --> 00:00:49,657
And that's why I love you.
16
00:00:49,688 --> 00:00:50,858
I need an aspirin.
17
00:00:50,889 --> 00:00:53,189
Yeah, Robbie and I have nipping
at the sauce since seven.
18
00:00:53,225 --> 00:00:55,195
- Gracias.
- Like two hours ago.
19
00:00:55,226 --> 00:00:56,596
AM, Junior.
20
00:00:56,626 --> 00:00:58,966
Have you been to this amazing
brasserie at the end of the street?
21
00:00:58,994 --> 00:01:01,764
They serve the most spectacular
peach mimosas.
22
00:01:01,796 --> 00:01:03,036
They're aphrodisiac, you know?
23
00:01:03,064 --> 00:01:05,594
Everything's an aphrodisiac
to you, Serge.
24
00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:07,762
No, no, it's true, it's true.
Ask him.
25
00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:10,000
- This is an ex-boyfriend?
- No, no, this is Timothy,
26
00:01:10,035 --> 00:01:11,335
He's an aphrodisiasticist.
27
00:01:11,369 --> 00:01:13,329
You people are killing me.
28
00:01:13,370 --> 00:01:17,100
It's the annual
Hallow-freaking-ween karaoke party,
29
00:01:17,140 --> 00:01:20,340
yet nobody thought
it'd be a good idea to dress up?
30
00:01:20,375 --> 00:01:23,315
Nice. Well, you know what?
Rest easy.
31
00:01:23,344 --> 00:01:27,784
Because Daddy, once again,
has everything under control.
32
00:01:27,813 --> 00:01:31,013
That's right, a professional
makeup artist is on the way as we speak.
33
00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:32,049
Oh, she sounds hot.
34
00:01:32,082 --> 00:01:33,612
I didn't say she was a she.
35
00:01:33,649 --> 00:01:34,979
You just did.
36
00:01:35,017 --> 00:01:37,157
Did you know makeup artists
have the best bottoms?
37
00:01:37,186 --> 00:01:39,356
It's true.
You know, ask him.
38
00:01:39,387 --> 00:01:42,057
- Timothy?
- No, no, no, that's Leon.
39
00:01:42,089 --> 00:01:44,019
He looked a lot like Timothy.
40
00:01:44,057 --> 00:01:46,857
No, no, no, Leon is the premiere
makeup artist for bottom models.
41
00:01:46,892 --> 00:01:50,622
- Huh.
- Uh, Osric,
42
00:01:50,660 --> 00:01:52,660
why are you going through
to Justin and Jaden's fan gifts?
43
00:01:52,695 --> 00:01:54,195
All that's for them?
44
00:01:54,230 --> 00:01:56,760
Why do they always
have all the gifts and I have nothing?
45
00:01:56,798 --> 00:01:58,738
Justin and Jaden
are the stars of the show
46
00:01:58,765 --> 00:02:00,865
and your character died
like four seasons ago.
47
00:02:00,901 --> 00:02:02,931
- Too soon?
- I hate to say this,
48
00:02:02,968 --> 00:02:05,608
but Rich is right.
49
00:02:05,637 --> 00:02:07,077
It's Halloween karaoke.
50
00:02:07,105 --> 00:02:08,945
All the fans are gonna be
dressed up, you know.
51
00:02:08,972 --> 00:02:11,302
Maybe there's something in here
that we can throw on as costumes.
52
00:02:11,341 --> 00:02:13,111
- Oh.
- Or not...
53
00:02:13,142 --> 00:02:15,642
Oh, nice stitching.
I'll take them.
54
00:02:15,676 --> 00:02:18,016
- Dibs.
- Ta-da!
55
00:02:18,045 --> 00:02:19,245
- Uh huh.
- Oh.
56
00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:20,980
Wow, that's snug!
57
00:02:21,014 --> 00:02:23,384
Uh, you're darn tootin' it's
snug. It's my actual costume.
58
00:02:23,415 --> 00:02:25,155
Sue, I have eyes.
59
00:02:25,183 --> 00:02:29,123
This is my actual costume
from "Camp Headache,"
60
00:02:29,152 --> 00:02:31,682
a movie I did when I was 14
with Jim J. Bullock.
61
00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:33,720
Jim J. Bullock, gosh!
62
00:02:33,755 --> 00:02:34,725
I was 14 and making a movie.
63
00:02:34,756 --> 00:02:37,056
What were you jerks doing
when you were 14?
64
00:02:37,091 --> 00:02:38,721
I started a non-profit
that worked with restaurants
65
00:02:38,758 --> 00:02:40,698
to have leftover food
delivered to the homeless.
66
00:02:40,725 --> 00:02:42,665
That was the summer
when I had that affair
67
00:02:42,694 --> 00:02:45,264
with the Nestlé heiress
on the Amalfi coast.
68
00:02:45,296 --> 00:02:47,936
- It was the first..
- Time you had sex?
69
00:02:47,964 --> 00:02:50,704
With an octogenarian, yes.
70
00:02:50,732 --> 00:02:51,962
Speaking of "Camp Headache"...
71
00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:55,200
Are you all right? I've got some
pain reliever in my Ferragamo.
72
00:02:55,236 --> 00:02:56,676
- Oh, you do?
- Yeah. Over there.
73
00:02:56,703 --> 00:02:58,773
Oh, great. Thanks.
74
00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:02,704
No, no, no, not the Ann
Demeulemeester, the Ferragamo.
75
00:03:02,739 --> 00:03:06,339
No, no,
not the Costume National, no, no.
76
00:03:06,376 --> 00:03:08,976
No, that's the Van Cleef &
Arpels. It's-- yes, that one there.
77
00:03:09,010 --> 00:03:11,810
The zipper pocket in the front.
The red pills.
78
00:03:12,713 --> 00:03:13,843
- Cool.
- Hey, um,
79
00:03:13,881 --> 00:03:15,041
bring me a couple
of those bad boys.
80
00:03:15,081 --> 00:03:16,081
Oh.
81
00:03:17,850 --> 00:03:19,180
- You have a headache too?
- Nope.
82
00:03:19,218 --> 00:03:21,758
I'm attacking the headache I
know I will get when I drink too much
83
00:03:21,786 --> 00:03:22,986
which is my game plan.
84
00:03:23,019 --> 00:03:24,049
- Smart.
- Thank you.
85
00:03:26,055 --> 00:03:27,095
I'm looking for Rich.
86
00:03:27,123 --> 00:03:28,923
What?
87
00:03:28,957 --> 00:03:31,067
- Hi!
- Rebecca!
88
00:03:32,159 --> 00:03:34,959
Everybody, this is Rebecca!
89
00:03:34,994 --> 00:03:36,824
Hello, Rebecca.
90
00:03:36,862 --> 00:03:40,792
She and I did an indie film
many, many, moons ago in Denver.
91
00:03:40,831 --> 00:03:43,161
Anybody see "Danger Fish?"
92
00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:48,830
- It wasn't very...
- Great film, important film.
93
00:03:48,870 --> 00:03:52,300
Which one of you lame-os
is ready to get your zombie on?
94
00:03:52,339 --> 00:03:54,299
- Where should we set up?
- You know what?
95
00:03:54,340 --> 00:03:56,070
Let's do in-- We're gonna go
to Justin and Jaden's room
96
00:03:56,108 --> 00:03:57,918
cause they're not here
till Sunday, okay.
97
00:03:57,942 --> 00:04:01,642
All right, everybody.
Prepare to get zombiefied!
98
00:04:03,812 --> 00:04:06,682
Best bottoms.
Told you.
99
00:04:06,714 --> 00:04:09,154
( opening credits music )
100
00:04:13,886 --> 00:04:16,726
♪ Looking for a sign
101
00:04:16,754 --> 00:04:19,454
♪ Looking for a table set for
fun ♪
102
00:04:19,489 --> 00:04:22,889
♪ Set the alarm to exactly
half past none ♪
103
00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:29,230
♪ Just tell me
where to sign for you ♪
104
00:04:31,430 --> 00:04:33,090
- Yeah.
- Thanks for doing this.
105
00:04:33,131 --> 00:04:35,101
- Mm-hmm.
- It's awesome.
106
00:04:35,367 --> 00:04:37,237
You look great by the way.
107
00:04:37,268 --> 00:04:38,968
Thanks.
108
00:04:39,002 --> 00:04:41,402
May I say,
the nose ring suits you.
109
00:04:41,437 --> 00:04:44,007
Well, it fucking pierced
my cartilage so it'd better.
110
00:04:44,038 --> 00:04:45,908
You know, I bet that's something
our Founding Fathers
111
00:04:45,939 --> 00:04:47,299
never thought they'd hear.
112
00:04:47,340 --> 00:04:50,370
"She's a woman of sound morals,
113
00:04:50,409 --> 00:04:54,939
with healthy birthing hips
and nasal piercings which are quite fetching."
114
00:04:54,978 --> 00:04:57,218
- You have not changed a bit.
- Hmm.
115
00:04:58,114 --> 00:05:00,314
You really think they're
healthy?
116
00:05:00,349 --> 00:05:02,279
- What?
- My birthing hips?
117
00:05:06,352 --> 00:05:07,352
Oh, boysie.
118
00:05:13,057 --> 00:05:15,997
Rob. I'm clocking out for
the night. Do you need anything else?
119
00:05:17,293 --> 00:05:21,263
No, I guess not. Here, can you
take my clothes to my room?
120
00:05:21,296 --> 00:05:24,036
- Room key. Clothes.
- Yeah.
121
00:05:25,299 --> 00:05:27,329
Bye.
122
00:05:27,366 --> 00:05:29,066
Oh, Christ.
123
00:05:32,036 --> 00:05:32,836
Oh.
124
00:05:32,869 --> 00:05:35,729
Rob, your bottom looks great,
man.
125
00:05:35,771 --> 00:05:37,141
Where have you been hiding that?
126
00:05:37,172 --> 00:05:39,942
Something wrong with these
pants.
127
00:05:39,974 --> 00:05:40,974
They're way too tight.
128
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:42,448
Nonsense, they look great.
129
00:05:42,476 --> 00:05:45,246
Aah!
The zipper zips the wrong way.
130
00:05:45,277 --> 00:05:48,787
Women's pants zip
the opposite way.
131
00:05:48,813 --> 00:05:51,483
Oh, shit.
These are Marney's pants.
132
00:05:51,515 --> 00:05:53,015
I grabbed my ex-wife's pants.
133
00:05:53,049 --> 00:05:54,279
Where's Beth?
134
00:05:54,317 --> 00:05:57,287
She took your clothes
upstairs... like you asked her to.
135
00:05:57,319 --> 00:05:58,749
Does anybody have spare pants?
136
00:05:58,786 --> 00:06:00,126
Go pantless.
137
00:06:00,154 --> 00:06:01,324
I can't go pantsless.
138
00:06:02,922 --> 00:06:06,022
( groaning )
139
00:06:06,058 --> 00:06:07,428
It's crazy.
140
00:06:13,395 --> 00:06:14,765
Oh, dear.
141
00:06:14,796 --> 00:06:18,196
Okay, so I think we'll do just
a little more necrotic flesh here...
142
00:06:18,232 --> 00:06:21,462
- Sounds good.
- Little bit more adhesive.
143
00:06:25,203 --> 00:06:26,203
Is that?
144
00:06:26,238 --> 00:06:27,838
- I--
- Do you...
145
00:06:27,871 --> 00:06:29,131
I-- I don't--
I didn't--
146
00:06:29,172 --> 00:06:31,442
You've got a boner?
147
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:32,974
- Uh, Serge?
- Yeah?
148
00:06:33,008 --> 00:06:35,048
What were in those
pills that you gave us?
149
00:06:35,076 --> 00:06:36,246
Ibuprofen.
150
00:06:36,277 --> 00:06:37,547
- Are you sure?
- Yeah, I'm sure.
151
00:06:37,578 --> 00:06:39,488
Let me see.
152
00:06:39,512 --> 00:06:42,142
Oh, merde, you took the
wrong ones. I said to take the red ones.
153
00:06:42,181 --> 00:06:44,811
- I took the red ones.
- No, no, you took the burgundy ones.
154
00:06:44,848 --> 00:06:46,418
- That's the same thing.
- No, it's not the same.
155
00:06:46,450 --> 00:06:49,150
The red ones are painkillers,
the burgundy ones are Stay-Bone.
156
00:06:49,185 --> 00:06:51,425
Hello!
"Stay-Bone"?
157
00:06:51,454 --> 00:06:54,954
Serge, you need erectile
assistance?
158
00:06:54,989 --> 00:06:56,319
Well, I don't know.
159
00:06:58,057 --> 00:06:59,397
Ask him.
160
00:06:59,425 --> 00:07:02,425
- Let me guess, your urologist?
- No, William and I, we're lovers.
161
00:07:06,563 --> 00:07:07,563
Hello, William.
162
00:07:07,597 --> 00:07:09,197
You need to leave.
163
00:07:09,231 --> 00:07:10,031
- Rich?
- What?
164
00:07:10,065 --> 00:07:11,465
- We didn't take ibuprofen.
- What?
165
00:07:11,500 --> 00:07:13,100
- We took Stay-Bone!
- Ah!
166
00:07:13,134 --> 00:07:16,104
You guys popped hard-on pills
before a karaoke show?
167
00:07:16,135 --> 00:07:17,805
Is that something you do?
168
00:07:17,837 --> 00:07:19,237
- Not usually.
- It was an accident.
169
00:07:19,271 --> 00:07:21,301
- Why didn't it affect you?
- It affected me.
170
00:07:21,339 --> 00:07:23,569
It's affecting me right now.
171
00:07:23,607 --> 00:07:25,207
Oh, come on, you can tell.
172
00:07:25,241 --> 00:07:27,541
Oh, my God, it's completely
coming out of your pants.
173
00:07:27,577 --> 00:07:29,377
- Who, me?
- No, you're good.
174
00:07:29,411 --> 00:07:31,011
I can't help it.
175
00:07:31,045 --> 00:07:32,415
- You sickos...
- Oh, my God.
176
00:07:32,446 --> 00:07:33,516
- Get out of here.
- Okay.
177
00:07:33,547 --> 00:07:36,047
Okay, but the door is--
We're just gonna go right...
178
00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:38,551
- Ah, okay, Rich, this way.
- Okay.
179
00:07:40,951 --> 00:07:42,551
- Where do we go, Rich?
- I don't know, just go!
180
00:07:45,488 --> 00:07:46,428
Now, what do we do?
181
00:07:46,455 --> 00:07:47,925
We gotta wait
for these drugs to wear off.
182
00:07:47,956 --> 00:07:51,496
That can take seven to ten hours
depending on body mass and alcohol intake.
183
00:07:51,525 --> 00:07:54,295
- Or so I've read.
- Ah.
184
00:07:54,327 --> 00:07:55,597
Woman:
Hey!
185
00:07:55,628 --> 00:07:57,298
It's Rob and Zombie Rich!
186
00:07:57,329 --> 00:07:59,489
- Shit.
- Hey, hey, guys, can we get a selfie?
187
00:07:59,530 --> 00:08:00,960
Run!
188
00:08:04,533 --> 00:08:05,903
Wait, wait!
189
00:08:05,933 --> 00:08:09,333
It's for my grandma.
She's a nun.
190
00:08:13,606 --> 00:08:15,876
- Fuck.
- Oh, Fuck. Fuck!
191
00:08:17,375 --> 00:08:19,415
- What are we gonna do now?
- Well, we slip in through the back door.
192
00:08:19,443 --> 00:08:21,373
We can't go in there,
it's the eye of the storm.
193
00:08:21,411 --> 00:08:23,211
I know it's gonna be tight
but if we penetrate quickly
194
00:08:23,245 --> 00:08:24,415
no one's gonna see us coming.
195
00:08:24,446 --> 00:08:26,046
Are you talking
like that on purpose?
196
00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:27,610
I don't know, your schvantz
is throwing me off.
197
00:08:27,648 --> 00:08:29,188
We gotta hurry,
the cock is ticking.
198
00:08:29,215 --> 00:08:30,485
- What?
- Clock, clock!
199
00:08:30,517 --> 00:08:31,857
Woman:
There they are!
200
00:08:31,884 --> 00:08:33,014
- Ah!
- Ah! Shit!
201
00:08:39,589 --> 00:08:41,549
Hey, everybody.
It's Rich and Rob.
202
00:08:41,590 --> 00:08:43,520
Hey, can I get a selfie?
203
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,860
There you are.
Rich, nice penis.
204
00:08:50,896 --> 00:08:52,396
Rob, are you immune?
205
00:08:52,431 --> 00:08:55,901
No, I am uncomfortably engorged
right now, thank you very much.
206
00:08:55,932 --> 00:08:58,032
Hey, Serge, you gotta help us.
207
00:08:58,068 --> 00:09:01,108
There are hundreds of people
out there expecting a karaoke party.
208
00:09:01,136 --> 00:09:03,136
- What do we do?
- Je ne sais pas, moi.
209
00:09:03,171 --> 00:09:05,301
- Huh?
- You know, Rob,
210
00:09:05,339 --> 00:09:07,969
I can think of one way
to deflate that balloon.
211
00:09:11,910 --> 00:09:12,910
Ah....
212
00:09:15,412 --> 00:09:17,842
Ah ha!
( laughs )
213
00:09:19,014 --> 00:09:21,144
Who's ready to karaoke?
214
00:09:21,182 --> 00:09:23,982
- This guy!
- Whoo!
215
00:09:24,017 --> 00:09:25,417
All right, all right.
216
00:09:25,452 --> 00:09:28,222
- Uh huh, uh huh.
- Whoo!
217
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:35,290
That is not remotely what I
meant.
218
00:09:35,324 --> 00:09:39,464
Okay, boys. Let's do this.
What? What? What?
219
00:09:39,494 --> 00:09:41,934
Rob did the clown-faced
crotch bit, too?
220
00:09:41,962 --> 00:09:45,492
Shit.
Back to the gift bag.
221
00:09:53,969 --> 00:09:54,999
Dumbass.
222
00:09:55,037 --> 00:09:58,147
My people, here we go!
223
00:09:58,639 --> 00:10:00,439
Rob:
I say "hey," you say "ho."
224
00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:02,445
- Hey!
- Audience: Ho!
225
00:10:02,476 --> 00:10:04,416
Rob:
I say "hallo," you say "ween."
226
00:10:04,443 --> 00:10:06,173
- Hallo!
- Audience: Ween!
227
00:10:06,211 --> 00:10:08,281
Rob:
I say "Rob," you say "and Rich."
228
00:10:08,313 --> 00:10:10,243
- Rob!
- Audience: And Rich!
229
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:12,280
Rob:
I say "clown," you say "dragon."
230
00:10:12,315 --> 00:10:14,115
- Clown!
- Audience: Dragon!
231
00:10:14,149 --> 00:10:16,149
- Rich: Yeah!
- Rob: Woo!
232
00:10:16,184 --> 00:10:17,624
Rich:
Well done, people.
233
00:10:17,652 --> 00:10:20,122
( end credits music )
234
00:10:20,172 --> 00:10:24,722
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