All language subtitles for Hart To Heart s01e06 Jimmy Kimmel.eng

* *

He is a two-time Emmy
winner,

has hosted the Emmys
and Oscars.

Uh, he's a author
of a children's book,

and the host
of his late-night talk show

for nearly 20 years.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm
talking about my good friend,

Jimmy Kimmel.

Come on, Jimmy.
How are you?

-Uh, hi. How are you?
-How you doing, big guy?

Good. I'm a three-time
Emmy winner, though.

I just want to
make that clear.

You know, like,
we can't just...

-Three times?
-Yeah, three times, you know?

What did they say in there?

-You said two, but it's okay.
-They said two?

Yeah. Have they taken one
away and I don't know about it?

I don't know, man.
And, you know, listen,

that's the consequence
of doing this show how I do it.

-There's no prep.
-That's right.

-Yeah. Yes.
-There's no prep, Jimmy.

You rely on Wikipedia, and
that's where things go south.

Uh, it should be three,
though.

-If it said two, it's not.
-It's okay. It's fine. It's...

I can tell it's not, though.

Yeah, no, it's fine.
It's-it's okay.

-Nah, it's not.
-You know, I'll get over it.

It's not.
I can tell it's not.

Why are all
the wine bottles empty?

What's going on?
Are you not...

Do you not trust your staff?
Is that what's happening here?

We-we have a problem here
at "Hart to Heart."

-You do, yeah.
-Yes, we-we...

Can I tell you,
I have that--

You know, you know,
in the back of my show

where the music is
and they have that bar set up?

All the bottles are full
of colored water

because our staff was
getting drunk in the day.

-Wh-While taping the show?
-While taping the show, yeah.

-Well, that's a good time.
-Yeah.

That's why I had such a good
time every time I came on.

-That's exactly what it was.
-Maybe that's what it was.

The staff was always amazing,
by the way.

-(laughs)
-Jimmy, I like wine.

-Do you want to have
a glass of wine? -I like wine, too, yeah.

-Okay, I got a somm.
-All right.

I have a somm-sommeli--
sommelier.

And d-did you shorten it
to "somm"?

Because I have
trouble pronouncing

-the word consistently.
-(laughs)

-Evening, gentlemen.
-How are you?

Mr. Kimmel, Mr. Hart.

Hey, Champ.
How you doing, man?

Very well.

Oh, my God,
what are we drinking today?

Spring Mountain. Napa Valley.

2017 Cabernet Sauvignon.

-Not a Cabernet Sauvignon.
-Yes, indeed.

-See that, Jimmy?
-That's a good one?

-Yes, man, that's
a good one, man. -All right.

-You know,
this is what I do, man. -All right.

Great conversations happen
over good wine.

That's true.

People get relaxed.
People get loose.

-I'm going to get loose, yeah.
-This feels so good, too, by the way.

-Just pour it right
into my mouth. -(DLynn chuckles)

These are big gl-- These glasses
are bigger than you are.

Well, that's--
I mean, that's the whole thing.

I have a Napoleon complex.

-Thank you.
-Thank you, D. -Gentlemen, enjoy.

-Appreciate you, man. Thank you.
-Appreciate it. Salud.

-Cheers.
-Salud to you.

Uh... Jimmy, all right,
two questions for you.

-Starting off, right?
-Yep.

Um, I know Jimmy Kimmel.

I have been around
you for years now.

I can honestly say I'm
so comfortable

not only when I come on your
show but around you in general.

We have a great relationship,
great rapport.

But this is opportunity
for me to get to know more,

uh, understand more,

and ask good questions,

just things that I really
want to know the answers to.

-Okay.
-And I think that if done right,

then we have
a great yin and yang,

-a good back-and-forth.
-All right.

Um, let's go to
before the talk show,

before you get there.

-Let's go back to
the early days, right? -Okay.

Um, from my understanding,
you started off--

and this is without radio--
I mean, that's without, like,

true research,
but radio was your thing.

Yeah.
I was a disc jockey, yeah.

A disc jockey for how long?

12 years.
Professionally 12 years.

And then, for free, I did it
for about 5 years before that.

Coming out-- But coming out
of college, that was the want?

Coming out of high school,
I actually did.

I did-- I was working at
a clothing store in Las Vegas,

and there was a guy
who I worked with

who worked
at the college radio station.

He thought I was funny.

He said,
"You should be on the radio."

And I was like, "Hey,
I'd like to be on the radio."

So he introduced me
to his boss,

and the guy said,
"Yeah, okay, yeah.

"We want you to do a show
on Sunday night

"for a half an hour,
and what we want you to do is

"find local celebrities
or whatever

and make fun of them."
And I thought,

"Well, that would--
that would be great for me."

So, I went through
the yellow pages,

and I just started looking
for someone I could interview,

and the first guy I found was
a guy who billed himself

as the hair stylist
to the stars,

and so I call him up.

I say, "I see you're
hair stylist to the stars.

"I'd love to interview about

some of the stars
and their hair."

And he said, "Great."
So he came down,

and it turned out
the only star that he'd--

whose hair he'd ever cut
was John Davidson

from, like, "Real People."
Do you remember that guy?

(laughing):
No.

Or "That's Incredible!"
One of those two shows.

And he had a--
this guy actually was

a talk show host,
John Davidson.

He's one of
those talk-show hosts

who sings in every show,
you know.

And he had a big patch
of white hair.

And so I think we talked
about that patch of white hair

for, like, 20 minutes.

And then I went home--

drove home in my mom's
station wagon.

And when I got home,
my mom and dad

and my aunt were
in the kitchen,

and they'd listened
to the show,

and they were so excited
and I was just hooked on it.

-You fell-- That's when
you fell in love? -Yeah, I was like, "Wow."

You saw the reaction from the
ones that you were closest to,

and it was like,
"Okay, this is great."

And also, growing up
in a loud Italian house,

you don't--
people don't listen to you,

so your voice gets lost in the--
in the cacophony.

So I was just excited to have
somebody listening to me.

Now, the want now for radio...

Uh, of course, like you said,
you ended up doing it.

You did it for 12 years.

Was the goal to be the best
in that profession

and somehow you found yourself
doing more unexpectedly?

Or was there always the goal
of, "This is gonna act

as a transition to get me
to the other thing?"

I never thought of it
as a transition.

I did a--
When I was working in Seattle,

I worked at a radio station
up there,

and they put us on TV.

It was one of these deals

where they get the local deejays
to host a movie.

And the movie was
"Nightmare on Elm Street,"

and my partner on the air,
my partner Kent and I,

we hosted it,
and I still have the VHS tape.

And I remember looking at it
and analyzing the tape

because I am very critical
of myself.

-Mm-hmm.
-And thinking, like,

"All right,
well, you're bad on TV.

You'll never be on TV,
and so forget that."

A-And I was bad.
I mean, it was-- I was...

-I was like...
-It made your back stiff.

I was, uh, like a mannequin.

And, um, I just wanted to be
on the radio.

And it just so happened that

I was on the radio in L.A.
at KROQ,

and people who had TV shows
would hear me,

and then I'd get a call
every once in a while saying,

"Hey, will you come audition
for this

or host this for us,"
and whatever.

-And that's...
that's how it happened. -That's how it happened.

So-so how many places did you
springboard from that?

Like, you just said Seattle.

-Where were the different places
you were at? -I went from Vegas to Phoenix,

to Seattle back to Phoenix,

to Tampa, to Palm Springs,

to Tucson,
and then to L.A.

Goddamn.

All on radio.

Fired most of those jobs.

-Wow.
-Yeah.

-Why?
-Um...

I guess the biggest reason was
I had no--

I was not diplomatic
in any way.

I really felt like I was
more talented and smarter

than any of the people that
worked at the radio station,

-and I wasn't listening
to them. -Ah.

And, uh, it sounds kind
of cool,

but, in a way, it wasn't.

-I could see why they didn't
want me around. -Mm-hmm.

I, uh, like, I would...

I would get, like--
I mean, I'd start a job,

and my first act at the job
would be to cut out naked bodies

of, like, uh,
two men in the shower

and then put
the general manager

and the program director's
heads on them,

and then put it on the cover
of the company newsletter.

(laughs):
And-and then they would get mad.

And I wouldn't
understand why anyone was mad.

I was like,
"What? This is funny.

What-what are you mad about?"

You always pushed
the envelope.

Yeah, but in a stupid way.

In a way that had nothing to do
with being on air.

-It-- I would annoy them
in their offices. -Okay.

I would-- Well,
and sometimes it was on air.

But, like, you know,
sometimes I'd tape our meetings

with our boss, and, uh, and he
didn't know I was taping them,

and then I'd play them back
on the air the next day

-and make fun of him
and that kind of stuff. -Oh, wow.

What was the first big break
after radio?

Um, the big break
for me was...

It was, uh, working at--
getting a job at KROQ in L.A.,

which, you know,
it was the biggest

-and best radio station
in the country, really. -Mm-hmm.

I was very fortunate
because I was working in Tucson,

and things-- I knew I was
gonna get fired there.

Uh, things were headed
in that direction.

You-- After a while, you start
to recognize the pattern.

-Yeah, you can sense it.
Oh, here it comes. -They stop yelling at you.

That's what happens.
Like, they stop yell--

Like, all of a sudden
you're like,

"Ah, I haven't been dragged
in the office in a while."

-Hmm.
-And-and...

So they stopped yelling at me,

and I knew it was happening.

-(laughs)
-And I also,

I knew the program director.

He's a guy I'd worked with
at another radio station,

um, when I was just, uh,
basically an intern,

unpaid intern.

And I knew him a little bit.

I knew he thought I was funny.

And I went to, uh,
a wedding in Cleveland,

and we hung out
for, like, four days.

And afterwards he's like,

"Oh, you're very funny.

"You know, maybe-- You know,
maybe you could come be

on the morning show in L.A."
And I was like...

Uh, I just went home
and basically started packing.

In fact, I moved to L.A.

without officially
being offered the job,

and I showed up
at the radio sta--

(chuckling):
I'm like, "I moved here."

They were like, "You did?"

I said, "Yeah. I'm here."

Uh, you know,
and they said, "Uh, okay.

Well, um,
we got to figure this out."

And then, luckily,
we figured it out.

How long did it take?

Uh, it took about three weeks,

so three
very nerve-racking weeks.

Of you just being in...

The-the ambition

and-and ignorance
at the same time

of saying,
"I'm just gonna go."

They wouldn't give me
an answer.

They seemed like
they wanted to hire me,

and-- but they just
wouldn't pull the trigger.

And so my best friend, Cleto,

who's now the bandleader
on my TV show

was living here in L.A.,

and I just said, uh,
"Cleto, I'm coming out.

I'm gonna leave the family
in Tucson until I get this job."

And, uh, I-I came out
and lived with him,

and I got the job
and then they moved out.

And, uh, I've been
in L.A. since. That was '94.

* *

* *

After getting on KROQ,

what was the thing that-that
kind of transitioned you

to the world of TV?

The thing that really
transitioned me was

a show called
"Win Ben Stein's Money."

It was a game show
on Comedy Central.

I know what it is, mm-hmm.

And I was working at--
I was just--

You know, I'd do,
like, part-time jobs,

'cause I wasn't making
any money at KROQ.

And I'd do, like,
part-time writing jobs.

I was writing
for this game show.

-You know who Fred Silverman is?
-I know who Fred Silverman is.

Fred-- Fred is...
you know, he ran--

-This is the only guy
who ran ABC, NBC, and CBS. -Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

And I know the story sounds
made-up, but it's true.

I was just, like, a writer
on this dumb game show

that was never gonna get
picked up.

I was doing it for money.

And they asked me to be the host
in the run-throughs.

And so I was
the run-through host,

and I was doing it
for, like, a week,

and then Fred showed up,
and he was this--

You know, he always had a suit
and a big open collar

and a glass of iced tea
in his hand with a napkin.

Always.
And Fred sits down,

and we're gonna show him
what we've come up with.

And so we run
through the game show,

and, um, he goes,
"Cancel the host auditions.

This kid is the host."

And I was like, "I am?"

And even the producer of the
show was like, "No, you're not."

(laughs):
And... And, uh--

But Fred was adamant
that I would be the host.

And we did a run-through of
the show for a bunch of buyers,

and they didn't
pick the show up,

but I got a couple of offers
after the run-through.

One from a guy
named Michael Davies,

who worked at ABC

and who later went on to do
"Who Wants to Be a Millionaire."

He was the producer
of that show.

And he brought me in,
and he said, um,

"I got this show. It's called
'Win Ben Stein's Money.'"

And I said,
"That sounds kind of good."

-And he told me
who Ben Stein was, and... -Mm-hmm.

Ben and I,
in a conference room,

did a rehearsal together, and
we had good chemistry, and...

and that was that,
we were on Comedy Central.

So, how long are you on... how
long are you doing this show?

I did that show for...

um, I think, five seasons,

-Mm-hmm.
-and then, um, Adam Carolla and I

came up with an idea
for "The Man Show."

-Mm-hmm.
-Originally, the show was...

-At ABC.
-sold to ABC, if you can imagine that.

-Doesn't seem like it would
have lived there, but, uh, okay. -No.

And it didn't.
And, in fact, we made the pilot,

and they were mortified.

But no one ever told us.
Up until...

You know how it works
with the upfront.

This happened to you once.
I remember this.

They don't tell you till,
like, the night before

whether your show
got picked up or not.

I mean, do you...
You do know my story.

I was in the middle
of your story.

-Oh, my God.
-I was hosting the upfronts

when they were trying to decide

whether or not
to put your show on the air.

Are you... are you serious?

I'm totally serious.

So, for everybody watching,

what me and Jimmy
are now talking about is,

there's a legendary story
attached to my name

of how my TV show,
"The Big House,"

got canceled, right?

And... Which was
a large opportunity for me.

As a matter of fact, Jimmy,

I came on your show to promote.

I remember my biggest thing that
I did on the Jimmy Kimmel show,

I, like,
put my feet up on the table.

But there was, like, I had,
like, a confidence or whatever,

but it was
after I'd been through so much.

That upfront,
when they canceled my show,

the way that
they canceled it,

I promise you,
it was supposed to crush me.

-It was supposed to body me.
-Mm-hmm.

Nobody warned me.
Nobody told me nothing.

Nobody said anything.
It was just...

I was backstage, Jimmy-- I'm
about to walk onto the stage.

I'll tell you one thing.

They were... they were split

on whether they
were gonna pick your show up.

It wasn't a consensus.

No one at ABC planned
to pick our show up.

There was no chance.
They knew months beforehand that

-it was not gonna get picked up.
-And they just had you down there?

But then it turned out,
after we made the pilot,

a bunch of cable networks
wanted to put it on.

-And then, at that,
you get the opportunity. -And Comedy Central, they said

"We'll give you 22 episodes,
we'll..."

You know, whatever and whatever.
We're like, "Okay, I guess so."

At the height,
how big was "The Man Show"?

It was pretty big.
It was, you know,

when you look at the ratings,
it's, like, you know, compared,

now it would be the number one
show on television.

But, you know, uh,
it was pretty popular.

Only "South Park," I think,
was more popular at the time.

You know, you guys were, were
so strong, so strong back then.

Now, of course,
in the times today,

I mean, "The Man Show" could've
never lived within our time.

-Not on a commercial network,
probably, yeah. -No. No.

But I think it... I think
there's definitely an appetite

for that, um,
lack of political...

that brazen lack
of political correctness.

-Which is missing. Yes.
-Yeah, yeah.

But then we learned from, um,
looking at our studio audience

and watching them evolve,
and what used to happen--

We'd get, like,
hundreds of people showing up

on tape days,
tailgating outside our studio,

and then they'd
come in drunk off their asses,

and it was, like,
it was, it was a lot,

and it became, like,
hard to do the show.

In fact, we quit that show.

-We... we said,
"You know what? We're... -You're serious?

-We are done doing this show."
-I didn't know that.

It was at its most popular,
and we were just tired

of kind of, uh, this just,
like, drunken audience

that laughed at everything,
and it was...

it just wasn't fun.

It was, like, like,
"Oh, I don't like you guys."

How long were you guys doing it
at this point?

We did, um,
almost a hundred episodes.

-Damn.
-Four seasons.

Wow. I did not know that you
guys walked away from the show.

We did. And then they brought in
a couple other guys.

-Actually, Joe Rogan
and Doug Stanhope came in -Mm-hmm.

and hosted the show,
um, the fifth season.

When you made the decision
to leave,

how long was it
before the ABC thing happened?

It was a couple of months later.

In fact,
had the ABC thing not happened,

I'm sure Comedy Central
would have, um,

would have made sure
we stayed there

and kept doing the show.

But ABC-- and it was almost
like a sports deal--

ABC traded Comedy Central

a million dollars in promotion
for me. So...

'Cause Comedy Central's like,
"We have him under contract.

"He's," you know,
"he's not going anywhere."

And, um, ABC said, "All right,
well, what do you want?"

And so they made
a couple of deals.

They picked up a whole show from
the guys who produced our show

and gave a million dollars
in promotion to ABC

to get me out of my contract.

* *

* *

At this point, though, you know,

the world of success
is different.

Of course, money is different.

Your family's
a little more secure.

-A lot more secure.
-A lot more, yeah, yeah.

Not a little more,
a lot more secure.

Um, you know,
is there any inkling of,

"Wow, this is now my career,
and the days and, you know,

"the old... of me doing radio

"and-and really getting
my chops together, wow, okay,

it could have been
for this thing"?

I'm trying to find if there
was ever a-a mental click

of, "I can be the shit at this."

Yeah. Yeah, there was.

I think it was, weirdly--
if I had to, like, isolate it--

we made this video, um,
"I'm Fucking Matt Damon,"

-which became a big viral video.
-(laughing)

And it changed...
it changed a lot.

It-it really changed the show,

because suddenly celebrities
wanted to be on it,

which they didn't before.

I mean, like, if you go...
if you ever have the--

don't, by the way--
but if you ever, like, go back

and watch the early shows,
like, there were times

where the guests weren't
even paying attention to me.

Like, they were talking
to the other guests.

It felt like every party
I ever was at,

where I'd be sitting there
at the desk,

and they'd be carrying on
a conversation,

and I was like,
"Uh, hmm, should I interject?"

Like, what...
what should I do now?"

And the show was live,
and it was just a mess.

And we had...
sometimes we had really...

we were really scraping
the bottom of the barrel

when it came to stars.

We'd have, like, the
sixth most interesting person

on "Joe Millionaire"
or something, you know?

Not even Joe. We were like,
"All right, if we have him,

can we maybe get Joe?"

They're like,
"Eh, Joe's doing 'Leno.'

Joe's, uh, Joe's not available."

But, um, it's true.

In fact, that's when I started
making fun of Matt Damon,

because,
at the end of a show,

we had some terrible guests,
and I was standing there,

I'm wrapping up the show,
and I'm standing there

with these guests-- I don't
even remember who they were--

and I go, "I want
to apologize to Matt Damon.

We ran out of time for him."

And I just did it to make
our producer, Jason, laugh,

you know,
and he was cracking up,

and, uh, then I just did it
again the next night,

and then, um,
I started doing it all the time

as just, you know, like,

-it's just how I closed
the show. -I'm laughing...

Here's why I'm laughing,
all right? There's no way...

there's no way not to be aware,
like, when you say,

"Yeah, we were kind of scraping
the bottom of the barrel,"

like, you know,
when you're looking...

you're looking at your guests,
and you're like,

-"Oh, man, all right,
well, this is what we got." -Who's this?

-Yeah.
-And then they're looking

at their booking at my show,
going, "Who's this?"

I had Mike Tyson on the show
for a week.

He was my cohost, you know?

And, uh,
and I was really excited,

because Mike Tyson is,
you know, he was a sports guy

-here in L.A.,
has been a central fig... -Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

You know,
if you do sports comedy,

Mike Tyson, that's it.

-You know,
that's as good as it gets. -Uh-huh.

And he... it was like...
it was only a week,

but it seemed like
we spent a year together.

It was incredible.

Like, one night, I had him
sucking helium out of a balloon

and talking like he used to.

And, um,
one night we had Ali Landry,

the Doritos girl, on the show.
Do you remember her?

And Mike was so taken by her,
he was, like, he was crazed.

He was in a...
just a sexual frenzy.

And I-I remember thinking,
like, "Oh, no, what's...

what do I do?" Like, what will
I do if he grabs hold of her?

And I started looking
around my desk.

I'm like, "All right,
this phone is kind of heavy.

I'll hit him with this."

"Maybe that'll be quick enough

that I can get security
to come in."

I have real...
like, I have real tears, man.

This is... this is
before Mike Tyson's, like,

-in "The Hangover" and stuff.
-I know!

This is fresh Mike Tyson,
you know?

-Yes.
I'm-I'm laughing because... -One day...

I truly know
that you're serious.

I love Mike Tyson, and...

I genuinely do love him
as a person.

And, um, one day, my son--

I was shooting a Christmas song
with Mike Tyson.

We were singing, um,

* Sleigh bells ring,
are you listening? *

And the whole...
the whole reason I did it

is 'cause I wanted to hear him,

uh, sing certain words
in the song.

-I don't remember what it was.
-Who was coming up with the bits?

-Is this you and your team?
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-Okay, got it, got it.
-We came up with it,

and he was always game
for something.

And, um, we had, like,
an hour or something.

You know, it was
a hard-out type of situation.

And I get a call that my son is,
like, misbehaving at school,

-Mm-hmm.
-and I got to go to the school.

So I'm like,
"Mike, I'm really sorry.

"I have to go
to my son's school.

I got an issue
I have to deal with."

And, uh, he's like, "Yeah,
okay, go ahead. I'll wait."

So he waits, and--
oh, "glistening" was the word

I wanted to hear him sing.

(imitates Tyson):
* Glithenin'. *

So, uh, I go,
I pick up my son.

I bring him back to the show.

You know,
we have a talk in the car.

And Mike-- I get back--
Mike's like, "Where's your son?"

I said, "Oh, he's,
you know, he's out there."

He says,
"You mind if I talk to him?"

I said, "Go right ahead."

And Mike sat down and, like,
talked to my son,

and I kind of stood in the back
so I could overhear it.

And he talked to him.

-My son was probably ten,
11 years old at the time. -Wow.

And he's like, "You know,
I had problems in school.

-"But you really have to,
you know, -Wow.

you have to try your hardest."

-And, like, he gave him this,
like, this pep talk -Wow.

that I was just like, "Wow.
We don't know this guy at all.

I mean, people don't know
who this person is."

Wow. Does your son
remember that?

He does, yeah.
He remembers it well.

-That's huge. That's...
-Yeah.

that's one of the perks
that you don't know

that comes with the trade.

Every once in a while,
somebody really surprises you,

and you go,
"Oh, I... yeah, that's..."

And actually,
it's very educational,

because it teaches you that...
not just celebrities,

but you have these thoughts
about people,

and they're not necessarily...
accurate.

-True, yes. Yeah.
-And you think you know people.

You think you can size almost
anybody up when you see them,

and that's just, uh,
it's ignorant.

* *

* *

When you say, like, "It's one
of those moments where..."

You know, you were shocked,

and you said
sometimes people shock you.

Who else
has kind of blown you away, uh,

-being that you've met so many?
-You know who's...?

You know who's the least like
you would expect him to be--?

A couple of people.

-Johnny Knoxville...
-Mm-hmm.

is, like, a great dad.

And, like, a really,
like, good guy.

He sends
my kids birthday presents.

He sends Christmas presents.

And they're usually crazy,
like a drum set

or something
to drive me crazy, but, um...

he's weirdly he's--
well, not weirdly--

-he's just a thoughtful person,
-Mm-hmm.

which you don't expect from
somebody who's got his penis

-tied to a kite, and, you know,
-Yeah, yeah.

-electricity's going through it.
-His dick is attached

to a muffler
and they start the car.

-"It's gone!"
-Yeah. (laughs)

No, Johnny. Johnny,
be careful, man.

-Slash. You know Slash,
the guitar player? -I know Slash, yeah.

When my,
when my Uncle Frank died,

he wrote me a long,
beautiful letter,

uh, which was totally
out of the blue.

I really don't know him, um,

but he'd spent a day with
my Uncle Frank on a comedy bit.

And I-- you know, I-I,
you know, I know him...

surface-wise, but I
don't really know him.

And, um, I was just, like...

-Shocked you... shocked you.
-"Wow, that's weir-- That's crazy."

-Yeah.
-It's almost like--

I don't even have a word for it,
but it's like, you know--

it's one of those things
where you question, like,

"Damn, I must have made
a really good impression."

-And-and...
-Or...

I-I look at it differently,
like, "Oh, this is a...

a-a good per--"
I mean, to be that,

to be that thoughtful
and to have that much empathy.

And I will tell you this,
and this--

and I'm sure you've had
this same experience--

I would bet anything you have.

There are certain people
who are so much

like you think
they're going to be,

-you can't believe that, either.
-Absolutely.

And for me, the number-one
person is Oprah.

Because Oprah is...

-super Oprah when you meet her.
-Mm-hmm.

I mean, I-I spent, I mean,

I spent my whole time on "The
Man Show" making fun of Oprah.

-Mm-hmm.
-Um, my ex-wife used to watch "Oprah" every day,

and then yell at me
when I got home

-for things the men
on the show had done. -Mm-hmm.

I was like, "What is...
Why is Oprah torturing me?"

-Mm-hmm.
-And then, uh,

after many years
of being on the air,

Oprah agreed to do the show.

And not only did she agree
to do the show.

We shot some really funny
comedy bits.

And the shooting started at,
like, 4:00 in the morning

-and ended at like, 11:00,
that night. -Mm-hmm.

It was an all-day thing.
Oprah was in my bathtub.

Oprah and I were fighting.

I mean, it was, like... It was
a crazy multiple-shoot day.

And, um, you... Someone like
Oprah doesn't need to do this.

-Absolutely.
-And certainly doesn't need

to be wonderful throughout.

-Absolutely.
-At the end of the night,

at the time
at which I would've said,

"Goodbye, everybody.
I'm leaving,"

you know, uh, Oprah doesn't.

She gets, um,
a whole bunch of champagne,

and she gathers everyone
together,

and she gives
this beautiful toast,

and singles out the writers

and the director
and the producer

and really makes
our whole staff-- not just me...

It's easy to, you know,
be nice to me--

but makes our whole staff
feel special.

And we...
It was like... It-it...

I was just like,
"Oh, now I understand it."

-She's the Oracle.
-It was almost--

I know this sounds dumb,

but it was like a religious
experience in some ways.

I know. I'm not...
It doesn't sound dumb.

-Yeah.
-I've had an encounter with Oprah.

I've met Oprah
two times, right?

Uh, one time I did an interview
with Oprah for her show.

And the big thing was,
she was coming to my house.

-Mm-hmm.
-And you... I was like, "What?!"

The most nervous
I've ever been is

-when Oprah came
to my house, and... -What do you talk...?

My wife's like,
"We need to redecorate!"

Same thing. It was, like...
It was a big deal.

-Yeah.
-It was like, "Yo, we got to get stuff.

Oprah's coming to the house.
Oprah's coming."

Oprah came to my house.

There's a thing. There's a thing
that some people have

where it's almost as if
they light up, right?

-Like, certain people...
-Mm-hmm.

...light up. I don't know
what it is. I can't describe it.

There's an energy that...
There's a halo or something

-that comes out of them.
-Something.

-Something happens, right?
-Yeah. Yup.

Oprah came in my house,
and I got my-my kids--

my kids were very young
at the time--

and my-my... Like, a couple
of my friends were there

because I wanted
to keep it small.

Oprah comes in,
and we're like, "Hey, hey."

And she was like, "Hey!"
And she...

When she did this,
it was like fucking light...

-Mm-hmm.
-...went on.

And we were all hit by it,
and instantly,

we-we're engulfed into this...
this thing.

And she was like,
"I'm so happy to see you.

Kevin, give me a hug.
Oh, my God."

She was like,
"It's just... Let me get...

I want to just hug you.
I want to hug you."

She kept hugging me.
She hugs my wife.

She sees my baby.
She's pinching cheeks.

She's doing everything that
you would not expect her to do.

-Right.
-Her team is there.

And we sit, and we're doing
this interview, and Oprah...

Here's when I knew, like,

Oprah's just
a different level of big.

She was like, "Okay, guys,
we're going to do this.

Make sure that the phones
and stuff are off."

You see people making sure
the phones are off.

And she was like,
"Are your house phones...

-uh, you know, are-are they on?"
-Smart.

And I was like, "Yeah."

She was like, "Can you
disconnect the house phones?"

"Absolutely, Oprah."
We're... (laughs)

We're pulling out the plugs
for the house phones.

There's nothing.
Oprah's at our house.

Nobody has access to us, 'cause
that's how Oprah wants it.

We do this interview,
and we get done,

and Oprah gives me, like, this
nice, heartfelt conversation.

She gave me, like, a good
15-minute conversation about,

"You're young.
You got an opportunity.

You-you seize the moment."

Like, some-some shit
that she didn't have to say.

-Right.
-And it stuck with me.

Until this day,
it stuck with me.

Like, I remember my moment
with Oprah.

So I know exactly
what you're talking about...

-Yeah.
-...when you say her toast

and how she singled it out,

because she doesn't have
to take the time.

She doesn't have to. Um, she...

And it's almost unfair to her
to expect her to be this person,

this, like,
kind of magical person.

-And I'm sure it's a burden
for her in a lot of ways. -Mm.

But, um, she... she gets it,
and she does it.

And-and as you said, not just
for the star of the sh...

-the production,
but everybody around. -Mm-hmm.

* *

* *

I-I want to say something else,
man, and I just want to,

you know, take a second
to give you your flowers...

-Oh?
-...you know, while you're here.

-I'm-I'm in person with you.
-Weed?

-Not weed. Not-not weed.
-Oh. Oh. Oh.

-(laughs)
-But if you want weed, I-I can...

Here at "Hart to Heart"...

You have a sommelier
for that, too?

Yes, I have a sommelier
that can bring it in.

Um, I-I can say that...

you've taken your platform,
right,

and you've used your platform
for...

for everything
that is important to you.

It's not something
that you've shied away from.

Whether it be political,
personal, um, w-whatever,

you have used that show and the
audience that has embraced you

to speak what you feel
people need to hear.

And I commend that because
it's very easy to get caught up

in the success
of what you have,

and have the mindset of,

"I don't ever want
to jeopardize it."

-Well, I appreciate that.
-It... Well, I mean it.

I think that we...
You know, I think that...

I just... I know what's right,
and I know what's wrong.

-Mm-hmm.
-And I... As I-I've become older

and wiser, I guess,
um, I just feel like

I have no choice but to say
what I believe to be true,

even if it upsets, um...

even if it means
my ratings are lower

-or whatever, you know?
-Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

And I don't think of it as,

like, any kind
of courageous act.

I just don't feel like
I have a choice.

-Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
-That's... I...

I would not be able to sleep
if I didn't talk about that.

-Mm-hmm.
-And we just see these...

all these terrible things
happening.

And, you know,
I wish people could just...

And what I try to do is
to speak to people

in a way that people speak
to each other.

Because, you know,
I don't have any observations

that are
particularly original,

but I do have a relationship
with my audience,

and I have been on TV
for a very long time now.

And so there are people who
trust me, and there are people

who don't have their minds made
up about something or other.

And I... You know, just like...
like, with the police.

Like, I mean,
you just say to a white person,

like, "How would you feel?"

I mean, listen, death...

You know, shooting
and whatever-- that's...

These are the extreme
and most horrible examples.

But even just make it
a small thing.

How would you feel if you got
pulled over for no reason?

How would that make you feel?

That would make you r...
mad, wouldn't it?

I mean, wouldn't that
make you mad?

And I think
most people would say, like,

"Yeah, yeah, that would make me
mad if I got pulled over

because I was born
a different color."

And-and that's th...

I think that's, like, the way

-to talk to people, you know?
-Mm-hmm.

I-I think people get caught up
in-in this nonsense.

You know, "Like, well, you
shouldn't... you shouldn't run."

Like, "You shouldn't run? What
do you mean, you shouldn't run?

"You're not... you're not
the person that...

-You've never been targeted.
You don't know..." -Mm-hmm.

Sometimes maybe
you feel like you need to run

-because you're scared. We...
-Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Just 'cause we're not scared,
we don't understand.

-Mm-hmm.
-"Why would you...

why would try to get back
in the car and run?"

-"Because I'm scared,
that's why." -Mm-hmm.

"And I have reason to be,
because of the evidence,

because of things
that really happened to me."

And, uh, you know, if-if...

It's just a...

It-It's, um...

If everybody would just try
to understand each other--

and, by the way, I put myself
in that category, too--

you know,
try to understand these people

that I make fun of or castigate
or whatever. We...

If we all did it a little more,
it would help us,

-because what a horrible place
we're in now, you know? -Mm-hmm.

-We can't agree on anything.
-But what you... what you just did

is what I'm talking about.

Like, that's what I mean
I witness you do on your show.

It's not that the things that
you're saying are so profound.

You're simplifying a feeling,
and you're trying

to just simply paint a picture
to your audience

to make your audience
see different perspectives

and different sides.

To me,
it has come off heartfelt,

it's come off courageous,
and I think it's dope as hell

that you use that platform
to do so,

knowing that the consequences
could be, you know,

-divisive, ratings, et cetera.
-Well, I appreciate it.

And-and, by the way,
I do feel like I should say,

like, I do feel like a lot
of my colleagues in late night

-do the same thing
and do it really well. -Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

And, you know,
I do feel like one of the things

that helps keep me sane

when you see all
these terrible things happening

is knowing that
I can then go on TV and say,

-"Hey, uh, this is not right."
And maybe we should do this. -Mm-hmm.

And I do think that, for me,
and for--

my wife says the same thing,
you know?

It's-it's, like,
it's... it's an outlet, uh,

-to be able to speak
about this stuff. -Absolutely.

You just got finished talking
about your colleagues.

Um, the relationships between
the guys of late night today,

how are they?

Are you guys...
is there an amazing synergy

that you guys have?

Is there a relationship
between you, or...

-I despise them all. No.
-You despise...

Um, I know it's boring,

but I really like
every one of those guys.

Why do you think it's boring?
It's not.

-I think people need to hear it.
-It's more fun when people fight.

But I think there's also
a really different reason

why we aren't, um,
as at each other's throats

as Jay and Dave were.

And I think it's because
everything is splintered now,

and so... and because,
also, people watch our shows

on YouTube, mostly.

-Mm-hmm.
-It's not like you have to choose.

You know, in the old days,
you just were like, "All right,

I have to watch either
David Letterman or Jay Leno."

And, you know,
"They're both on at 11:30,

-and I'm gonna have to pick
one of them." -Mm-hmm.

And it's not like that now.

Like, in fact,
a lot of people will sit there

and they watch our show,
the monologue,

and Colbert and Seth Meyers and
Jimmy Fallon and James Corden,

you know, like,
and they watch all the stuff

'cause they just like
late-night television.

I like that.
I mean, more importantly,

I just like
that you can say that.

People need to hear it, because
it's not the times of old.

And also,
I love talking to those guys.

-Mm-hmm.
-Because there are only, like, eight people

that have our job, you know?

Like, uh, I went to dinner
one night with Seth Meyers,

and we just, we talked for,
like, four hours straight,

and it was one of the best
conversations I've ever had.

-Seth's a good dude, though.
-Because we just motored through all of it.

Seth is a good dude, though.

-Yeah, for sure.
-I like Seth a lot.

Do you guys share guests?
"Hey, man,

"you don't want to get
X, Y, and Z.

Ugh! Pulling teeth."

-Um...
-"Ugh, God. Hey, have you had...?"

-That happens sometimes. Yeah.
-"Don't do it. Don't do it.

It's not the best.
I'm telling you now."

It's less of a warning, usually,
and more of a commiseration.

-You know?
-Okay.

That we've already
both experienced it.

There are definitely... there's
definitely that, for sure.

* *

* *

What's the world
of a workday now?

How-how-how, uh,
how compact is it?

How much...
how much of a science

do you now have it down to?

I have every minute
accounted for, and I def...

You know, I wake up,
I start reading the news.

At 9:15, I get a, like,
40 pages of ideas and material.

I whittle it down to,
like, six pages.

I send it back to the writers.

You go through it?
You go through the 40 pages?

-I read every joke.
I read every bit. -Wow.

I rewrite things.
I send them back.

And then,
from a two-hour period,

from 1:30 to 3:30,
I revise the whole monologue,

and then, um, hand it
to the teleprompter guy.

And at, uh, 4:30, off we go.

-So that's the world of work
for Jimmy? -Yeah.

What's the world
of being a father, a husband?

World of being father is, I
walk in the door at around 6:00.

My kids tackle me.

They don't even let me put
my backpack down.

Uh, we, uh, talk about the day.

I try to get them to talk
about the day.

Uh, give them a bath.
We tell stor...

Every night, I have to...
my son makes me, he says,

"Will you lay with me
for two minutes?" he says,

and then I have to, you know,
I tell him a story every night,

and I lay with him, and,
uh, he's almost four years old.

-Wow.
-And, uh, I tell him some ridiculous story.

And now they want to hear...
there's a story

that they want me to tell about,
it's called "The Penis Story."

It's about my Spanish teacher
in high school,

who, um, he prepared a quiz,

he wrote it all out
on the chalkboard,

and he pulled the map down,
and, um, somebody in our class

went and erased
all the questions

and drew a big penis
on the thing.

-And they love the story.
-I made the mistake of telling my daughter the story,

-It's a bit.
-and she makes me tell it.

-I have to tell it
three times in a row. -It's a bit. Yes.

-Every night
I have to tell this story. -Yes.

-She laughs every time.
-And I act it out. I use the blinds to...

act it out,
and they laugh hysterically.

They love it.

Are you planning on
taking time for you?

-Um, one day. Yeah, one day.
-Yeah. Yeah.

I don't, I don't have a...

I have very,
very little free time.

Is there a goal with a number?
You're at 20 years, right?

-Is there a goal with a number?
-Yeah, 20 seems like a...

20 seems like a good...
good amount of years.

-Yeah.
-You know, I mean,

I don't know for sure
what I'll do,

but I get excited about things,
and I go,

"Oh, yeah,
I want to do that, too."

And, um, I mean, I approach--

I know you
probably can't identify this,

because you're not a glutton
like I am--

I approach it the same way
I approach a meal.

I go to a restaurant, I'm like,

"Oh, I'd like to have
all of these things.

Maybe we'll get all of it,
and we'll share it."

And then sharing it means
I eat 80% of it,

-and everybody else behaves.
-I hear you...

-I hear you go down
with the food. -I do.

You're a foodie
on top of foodie.

I hear that you not only eat
but you cook.

-I've talked to you about it.
-I cook.

Like, you really throw down,
though.

-I know. You laugh about it.
-It's pretty disgusting.

I've heard...
The things that you told me...

I think about what you told me
once when we were together.

I think about this a lot,
and I, you know,

partly envy it, and it partly
makes me feel sorry for you,

and you told me you eat to live.

-That's it.
-You don't... you just eat to...

-I eat to make a turd.
-Yeah, you...

Yeah, that's what I told you.
I eat to make a turd.

I have no...
there is no fascination

-Yeah.
-that comes from my palate.

I'm not like,
"Oh, my God, this blew me away!

I got to get more of this."

-I'm like,
"Hmm, that was all right." -In a lot of ways, that's great.

-Yeah.
-Because you can... Like, sometimes I think, like,

"You know, uh,
I don't want to get COVID,

"but losing my taste buds
for a little while

would mean
I can eat pretty healthy."

Maybe I'll lose
a few pounds, you know?

That would be detrimental
to you.

-I know. It's stupid.
-If you would've lost your taste buds,

-you would've lost your mind.
-Oh, yeah. Long term, for sure.

Are you, are you...
is there any want to ever,

like, take on the true...
the true world of chef?

-No, that's a lot of work.
You know? -Really?

I... Yeah. I mean,
when I make dinner for people,

I'll-I'll start...
my back starts hurting,

and I go, like,
"Oh, what did I do?

-What am I doing?"
-Yeah, you told me there's, like, a little feeling,

like, when you have
to watch people eat the stuff.

-Yeah, right.
-You know, looking... just looking around.

You watch people eat the stuff.

Sometimes they don't say
anything, and you're like, "Oh."

Uh, I can't leave
without also highlighting,

uh, you know,
a gesture that you did

by just sending me a kids' book,

-because you write kids' books,
man, and you sent me one, -Oh, yeah.

for me to read to my son.

I-I can't lie to you,

the goose,
the book about the goose.

-"The Serious Goose." Yeah.
-"The Serious Goose."

My son Kenzo loves the book.

-He does? Oh, great.
-Loves, loves the story of the goose.

And, literally,
getting it from you,

I was like, "Oh, that's dope."

I said, "Babe,
I'm gonna read it to him,

this way, so when I see Jimmy,
I can tell Jimmy I actually...

-Right.
-put the gift to use."

-My son loved it, man.
-Oh, good.

I don't know, I don't know how
you stumbled into that world.

I don't know
what the reason is...

I did it to raise money
for Children's Hospital

-in Los Angeles, and, um,
-Wow, okay.

I also wanted to draw...
to do all the illustrations.

So I did the illustrations
and wrote the book.

-You drew the goose?
-Yeah, I drew the goose.

-I had no idea.
-I drew all the pictures. I did all the lettering.

-It-it took me forever.
-I had no idea.

Yeah, that's what I wanted to do
before I got into radio.

-Yeah, see,
this is what I'm talking about. -Draw geese.

This is the stuff
that people don't know, man.

The stuff
that people don't know,

-that they would never know.
-Yeah.

-Because all they see is
one version of you. -They don't know me.

They don't know you, man.
They have no idea who you are.

But I'm glad that I do.

-I'm glad that
I not only know you, -Same here.

I'm glad that
I can call you a friend.

I wish you liked food. I mean,
that would be nice, you know?

I don't want your food, Jimmy.

I don't want your levels
of steak and all this stuff.

He's got, like, seven grills.

-I don't know what you have
at your house. -I do.

I literally have seven grills.

Yeah, I don't want any parts
of this world of-of glutton.

I don't want it.
I don't want to go.

If you want to...
if you want me to come,

I'll come and hang out,
but I'm never gonna eat

-to give you the answer that you
want from me when I'm eating. -All right. All right.

-That's me letting you know.
-Thank you. I appreciate it.

You're one of the good guys,
Jimmy.

-You too, Kevin. I enjoy it.
-I mean it, man. I love you, dude.

I've always loved chatting
with you and hanging,

-and, uh, it's fun.
-I got to reverse it today, though.

-Yeah, you did.
-Is this kind of weird, though? Like, you're on, like...

It is a little weird,
but I will tell you,

what's weird for me is,
I feel guilty

because I'm always conscious
in a conversation

about talking too much
about myself.

-Mm-hmm.
-And I have to constantly remind myself

that you're interviewing me,
and I should, uh, allow that.

Ladies and gentlemen,
my good friend, Jimmy Kimmel.

-Thank you, man. Cheers, dude.
-Thank you.

Cheers. Cheers to you.

See what I'm saying, guys?

Jimmy doesn't know
that I'm actually rehearsing

for the day that he walks away,
so that way I can have it.

-You can have it now,
if you want it. -No. I don't want it.

I got to give you a nugget
before we leave.

Life is like
a box of chocolates,

unless you don't eat sweets.

Hmm?

Simple, but yet profound.

No? Nobody?

Fuck it, you guys
are really pissing me off.

These are nuggets!

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