Original subtitles

♪♪

Are you from earth?

No, I'm not from earth.

I'm not from earth.

And I'm not from earth.

Both: We're not from earth.

They're not from earth.

That's not from earth.

Beep-beep-beep-beep.

Never, ever heard of it.

Never, ever seen it.

Never, ever smelled it.

Never, ever been there.

Because...

Together: ♪ we're not from earth

uh, we are.

[ Crowd murmurs ]

♪♪

Companion confusion.

♪♪

[ Straining ]

[ Roars ]

[ Roars ]

Good thing I wore my space suit.

Otherwise, this morning would've really...

Uh.

[ Alarm beeping ]

Aaaahhhhh!

This is it, my life is flashing before my eye.

That was underwhelming. The worst part is,

I'll never get to tell Jessica that she's the ooooooooone!

What's that? A distant light?

Surely not. It's so unlikely.

It's...

It's captain lovestar.

Is someone in need of a little tlc?

Uh, I suppose so, yeah.

Pucker up, trouble.

[ Smooching ]

[ Gasps ] Oh.

Captain lovestar, it's...

It's really you.

No, Todd, it's me.

Yeah, captain lovestar.

[ Sighs ] It's me!

[ Gasps ] Jessica?

That explains the time I saw you

in that captain lovestar costume.

You came back just for me?

Of course I did.

Wait, you must be freezing.

[ Chuckles ] Thanks.

And hungry.

Well, actually I'm...

[ gulps ] You did all this for me?

Of course.

Don't you know that you're the one?

[ Breathes deeply ]

♪♪

[ Roars ]

[ Audience murmuring ]

Oh. Wow.

That movie was incredible.

That 5d experience made it look so real!

And not just the gunk. I could smell captain lovestar's

popcorn Cologne mixing with Todd's sweat.

Uh... yeah!

It was so good!

Except for all the stuff about "the one."

Who would want that?

Yeah. Imagine having someone who'd keep you warm and dry,

share their food with you, and catch you when you...

[ both groan ]

I'm cold, wet, and hungry.

[ Both gasp ]

Aaahh!

I got you, my love.

Don't want you getting cold now.

- Wanna share my food? - Yummy.

Aah!

Wanna share my food?

[ Both scream ]

Ohh.

We need to get ourselves one of these ones.

Yeah, but with everyone being someone,

how will we know when we find our one?

Oh, well, we just gotta look, I guess.

You never know. The right one might turn out to be right...

In front of us. [ Gasps ]

Uh, excuse me!

[ Pbht! ]

- Ugh! - Ugh!

Maybe we should keep looking.

Mm.

Elliott: Back on earth, me and my mom

watched a ton of romantic movies.

Can I watch romantic movies with your mom?

Uh...

That's cool, that's cool.

So in the movies, the way most people meet

the one is drop a load of things on the floor,

bend down to pick it all up,

and then the person who comes to help

and accidentally touches your hand is the one.

Watch this. Oh, no!

How clumsy of me.

Huh?!

[ Belches ]

Maybe we should...

Get to know each other?

Sorry it didn't work out, buddy.

I'll be alright. You try it.

Oh, no!

[ Whirring ]

No, no, no, no, no!

Oh! Oh!

Aah! - Aah!

[ Groans ]

I think we might need help on this one.

So, so, so, you two are trying find

the one, huh?

How'd you know that?

We haven't even said anything yet.

[ Laughs ] What?

I'm not eavesdropping. You're eavesdropping.

These listening devices all around

the hive could be anyone's.

It just so happens... Huh?

I know a thing or two about finding the one.

Oh, great! So, we were wondering if...

You guys really put me on the spot here.

Where'd the piano come from?

No idea.

I don't usually do this, but let me see

if I can throw something together off the top of my head.

You really don't have to.

♪ So you're looking for the one ♪

♪ then you find the one

♪ who makes your existence sweeter ♪

♪ but he leaves you high and dry ♪

♪ it all turns sour, tell me, please ♪

♪ what happened, kreter?

Who's kreter? No idea.

♪ He seemed real sweet, he seemed real fun ♪

♪ had 47 feet, and he weighed 3 tons ♪

♪ I really did believe that he was the one ♪

♪ so, tell me, please, what happened, kreter? ♪

This is not exactly what we had in mind.

♪ Oh, kreter, you were the one that got away ♪

♪ you stole my heart, you stole my shoes ♪

♪ then you ran off with a cyclops ♪

♪ made of lavender ooze

okay, thank you, miss couture.

- Is she okay? - Unh-unh.

I think our school counselor needs a school counselor.

♪ I wish I knew what I did wrong ♪

♪ tell me, was it my propensity for bursting into song? ♪

♪ Oh, kret... Aah!

Ahh. There must be a way to find the one.

Isn't it amazing how foods you never thought

would go good together can be delicious?

Take this peanut butter and jelly sandwich!

It goes so well with the force field it was wrapped in.

[ Gasps ] You're a genius, mo!

No, you're a genius, mo.

Opposites attract! Like in the movies.

The beauty goes for the beast.

The jock goes for the nerdy girl.

Lovestar goes for the space monster.

No, that's not... never mind.

We just need to find the person most opposite to us!

Look! Over there. She's perfect for you!

Oh, my one.

Uh, hey.

- Oh, hi. - I'm mo.

I'm om.

Oh. I just realized it's mo backwards.

[ Laughs ]

Uh, I...

I like your scales.

I like yours, too.

Oops, butterfingers.

Oh!

Sorry.

♪♪

So?

Nah, it didn't work out.

But it seemed to be going so well.

Well, I thought so,

but I realized... We both like rocks,

we both like taking naps,

both felt like we were finally complete.

We're too similar.

But the heart necklace? Oh, this?

She gave it to me because we both thought

it was the perfect symbol for our relationship.

Huh. Another thing we agreed on.

[ Sighs ] Todd made finding the one look so easy.

We've got to be missing something.

[ Gasps ] Of course. Todd...

Had a mustache!

No.

Had one eye?

[ High-pitched voice ] Spoke in a squeaky voice?

Nah.

[ Normal voice ] Was a high-ranking officer

in a secret military organization.

Uh, that one's too difficult.

Oh, well, mo.

Prepare for a life of being cold, hungry,

and falling over all the time,

'cause we ain't ever gonna find the one.

But we did everything like in the movies!

[ Gasps ] Not everything.

In "pucker up: Love never quits,"

it wasn't until Todd put himself in mortal peril that, bam,

Jessica, aka "the one," revealed herself.

Uh, yeah, make it nice and tight.

So all we gotta do is put ourselves in danger,

and our one will come to us.

Uhh! Perfect!

Isn't that a bit dangerous?

There's no real danger.

We're just gonna set off the emergency alarm.

If you say so.

[ Alarm blaring ]

[ Students screaming ]

♪♪

Remember the drill, kids...

Stop, drop, and roll!

♪♪

Aah!

[ Screaming continues ]

[ Electricity crackling ]

Is this part of the plan?

Don't worry! It's perfect!

Now the one is definitely gonna come to the rescue.

Are you sure?

[ Thud, glass shattering ] Yeah! You can't tell,

but I'm giving you two thumbs up right now.

Couldn't you just press the button?

Sorry. I just, uh... I always wanted to use this.

Don't panic, kids. We got this!

First rule of firefighting...

Fight fire with fire.

Yeah, we should stop following that rule.

Operation: Don't panic canceled.

Commence operation: Panic.

Everybody get out of here!

You, as well.

Elliott, we've gotta go.

No, no. Wait, the pillar.

C'mon, kid, everyone's got their favorite pillar.

Seal it up.

Roger that.

♪♪

[ Alarm blaring ]

Oh, oh! No! No! No!

♪♪

Whoa!

♪♪

[ Screaming ]

♪♪

Elliott, up here!

[ Gasps ]

Mo!

[ Gasps ]

Pucker up, trouble.

♪♪

[ Distorted ] You came back for me!

You...

You came back for me.

Of course I did.

I think I just realized something.

♪♪

You were right. There is no one

that's gonna come save me at the last minute.

That's only in movies and terrible TV shows.

Yeah, this was a dumb idea.

Now, now, Timothy, keep your mind on the test.

Oh, my goodness!

Waa! Ooh!

Uh, we better go.

Good idea.

Breaded schlump?

Oh, thanks, buddy.

Uh, the door's that way.

- Yep. - They're...

They're perfect for each other.

Colin, we're in a lot of trouble.

♪♪

That's my nose. Aah!

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