Original subtitles

♪♪

Are you from earth? No, I'm not from earth.

I'm not from earth.

And I'm not from earth!

Both: We're not from earth.

They're not from earth.

That's not from earth.

Robot: Beep-beep beep-beep.

Never, ever heard of it. Never, ever seen it.

Never, ever smelled it. Never, ever been there.

Because...

Together: ♪ we're not from earth

uh, we are.

[ Crowd murmurs ]

♪♪

[ Croaking ] "Chaotic clumping."

♪♪

Mo: And here we are...

The most beautiful view on the centrium!

You can take the blindfold off now.

But you didn't ask me to wear one?

Oh. Well, it's less of a surprise,

but it's still good, right?

Totally. I've never seen anything li...

[ simulation glitches ] Oh, look, our twins!

Yeah... again, mo, this is a memory recording.

And a good one, too!

I wouldn't change a thing.

I'd change a couple of things.

Let's add a bit of strength...

Bit of intelligence.

Nah, that looks ridiculous.

Style!

[ Laughter ] Frankie: Elliott!

O-Okay, buddy. I gotta go!

I'll see you soon!

[ Chirp! ] Ah, good times.

- Right, mo? - The best.

Shouldn't you two be getting ready for school?

Wait, are you guys hanging out together

by watching memories of you guys hanging out together again?

Yeah! Yeah!

Seriously, you kids are joined at the hip.

Ah, wouldn't that be nice.

Where are you going, mum?

It's my first day working at the science center.

Oh! You got the scientist's job?

Ehhh, not quite.

But...

[ Chirp! ] Ta-dah!

Both: Hmm! I get 10% off keyrings

and time-and-a-half on blorpzug day!

Whatever that is. Anyway, wish me luck!

Oof!

[ Laughs awkwardly ] Finish your breakfast.

And don't be late for school!

Both: We won't! [ Both giggle ]

What did I just...

Both: Hmm?

Hmm.

[ Door closes ] Blegh.

You wanna watch a couple more memories?

Sure, we've got plenty of ti...

How are we so late?!

Augh! [ Panting ]

♪♪

[ Hiss! ]

No-no-no-no-no-no-no!

We missed the last bus!

[ Whir! ]

No!

That was the last buuuus!

Ugh, dang it.

Ooh, what about using that?

- [ Chirp! ] - Elliott: A Teleportation pod?

That'll save us time!

You go first!

No, after you!

I know... lets go together!

Why did no one else ever think of this?

Oh, I guess they may not be as smart as we are.

[ Zap! ]

Auuuugh! Auuuugh!

Ahh! [ Laughs ]

Whoaa...

[ hiss! ] [ Chirp! ]

We made it... [ Panting ]

And we're...

[ Gasp ] [ Gasp ]

We're merged together! We're merged together!

- Aaaah! - Auuugh!

[ Both grunting, screaming ]

[ Distant screaming continues ]

Wait, are those guys in the same clothes?

Yeah, that can happen when you teleport together.

Ugh, I know that.

Gosh, you're so patronizing.

Auuuugh!

Aaaa... mazing!

What?! Not amazing, mo!

We're a hideous two-headed, four-armed freak!

Both: Hmm. [ Both sobbing ]

No, no, no, no, no, wait! I didn't mean it... ugh.

You know, this could be a good thing!

Yeah, I really don't see how,

but right now, we have to get to class!

Let's go!

Whoooa!

Ugh!

Phew.

[ Both babbling, groaning ]

♪♪

[ Grunts ] [ Panting ]

I think that went well.

[ Clang! ]

[ Hiss! ]

♪♪

[ Gulps ] [ Gulps ]

♪♪

Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow- ow-ow-ow-augh.

[ Whir! ]

Ugh.

[ Boots tap ] Silence, you fools!

Boy: Nobody was talking.

I said silence!

Today, I was hoping to pit you against each other

in a series of savage trials!

But, apparently, old-fashioned ideas like "competition"

and "impaling" aren't welcome in schools anymore.

How do they expect me to teach with all this red tape?

Anyway, instead, I've prepared

a surprise test!

[ Cackles maniacally ]

The test will take the form of a poem,

and if it displeases me,

you'll be blasted into the heart of the nearest sun!

[ Whimpers ] A surprise test?

In our condition?

We should tell him we can't do it.

Absolutely no excuses!

Man 2: I've got a dental appointment in 20 minutes.

Do you have a note? Yes.

Then it's allowed.

But that was the only excuse!

The rest of you fools, let the test commence!

[ Shatter! ] Gosh darn piece

of knock-off garbage!

- Oh, man, we're doomed! - Relax.

We have the brains of two people in one.

This is gonna work out. We can do this.

High-four buddy!

Ough! Ough!

[ Indistinct chatter ]

Well, that was a disaster.

I dunno, I got some in my mouth.

No, not that. The test.

I'm sure we flunked it.

I bet whoever said two heads is better than one

only had one head and was a massive liar.

Drone: [ Robotic voice ] Your test results are ready.

Your test results are ready.

Ugh, come on, then. Break it to us gently.

You got an...

"A." both: "A"!

Congratulations.

Let me know if y'all down to clown this weekend.

Uh, w-we're good. Thanks.

Told you we'd nail it.

But we just wrote that poem using auto-correct.

"A beefy young boy, yet slithering so gently,

now light as a feather on this sweet Autumn Mayo sandwich"...

I mean, what is this... Gibberish?

It's just a load of...

[ sobbing ]

[ Sniffles ] It's so real.

Mo, you were right!

Together, we're twice as good!

Wait, do you think we have...

Twice the strength?

Hup.

Whoa! Whoa!

Feels like I'm lifting nothing at all!

And with our dual vision,

it's like that guy is right next to us!

Yeah, I can even count the hairs on his head.

One, two...

Hey, quit your poking! I'm trying to eat here!

And with our double hearing, we can hear every word he says.

Please report to Mr. Kallous.

Our double intuition tells me

this is gonna be very good ne...

This is very bad news!

Wait, why do you two look so weird?

Eh, we teleported together.

Whatever. It's about your test.

Oh, no! Did we not get an "a"?

No, you did, thanks to that brave and insightful poem.

But you put two names on it, fools!

I can only accept one name!

Is it Linda?

One of your names, dumbbells!

The other one gets an automatic "f"

and the punishment that comes with it.

Being blasted into the heart of the nearest sun?

Well, apparently, that's too "barbaric"...

Whatever that means.

Instead, this weekend,

you'll be cleaning the school.

Both: Hmm. I know.

I was into it, too, but my hands are tied.

Come back and see me when you've picked a name.

Ugh, that's tough.

Yeah. Sorry, buddy.

Oh, hey, this weekend, will you mop super quietly?

I'm gonna try and sleep through it.

Wait, I'm not getting the "f."

Well, you're the one that said this would work.

Exactly! So I deserve the "a"!

Agree to disagree.

Disagree to disagree.

Both: Oof! Where are you going?

To the water fountain. I'm thirsty.

Well, I'm thirsty, too.

That's why we're going to my favorite toilet bowl.

No, we're not!

Yes, we are!

Can you let go?

No, you let go!

- [ Grunts ] - Whoa!

Ugh! Ugh!

[ Both grunting ]

♪♪

Both: Augh! Oof! Ack!

♪♪

I think the worst is behind us.

Both: Ugh! Oof! Ough!

[ Grunting continues ]

Ugh... ugh...

Augh! Augh!

Both: A hideous furry goo monster!

This isn't working anymore.

I know.

I think we need to go our separate ways.

♪♪

Millions of people use the separator 3000 every year,

and the results are... Not so great,

but legally, we're... fine!

Hi, I'm Dr. Haffman,

and I used to be like you... Too many people...

Until the separator 3000 gave me my life back.

But don't take my word for it...

Ask my brother!

Oh, that's right... you can't.

[ Chuckling ] We separated ten years ago,

and I haven't spoken to him since.

Still not convinced about getting separated?

Why not add a person instead?

We have a 50% discount if you select Dave.

Hi, I'm Dave, 38.

Err, live in the gym.

Love music, hate arrogance.

Err... [ Sniffs ]

Dr. Haffman: What are you waiting for?

[Over speaker ] Step right in.

So, what do you think?

About Dave?

No, about the separation.

Well, it's... What we wanted, right?

Yeah, I suppose so.

Both: Ugh, ough. [ Both grunting ]

Lona: Oh, don't you worry!

I'm going to enjoy myself without you, all right.

Oh, and for the record, I never liked the mustache!

- Mm... - Mo: Wow.

Those people really hate each other.

[ Hiss! ] Look!

Those guys had a change of heart.

Catch you never, losers!

It's just you and me now, klurg!

O-Oh, I'm not klurg. I'm sbob.

Sbob, the whistler?

Oh no, I've got the wrong one!

Rude. [ Whistling ]

You know what would really help me now, sbob,

is a bit of your beautiful whistling.

Oh, you wish I was sbob.

[ Sniffles, whimpers ]

You must really hate me, too.

Oh, buddy, no.

You know what? We don't have to do it.

- R-Really? - Yeah.

I mean, sure, mum will have to adjust,

and there's the whole bathroom thing

that'll need figuring out,

but I'd rather be slightly uncomfortable

for the rest of my life than risk losing you forever.

Mmm. Mmm.

Right, I've got some very important news for...

Ah, don't sweat it, doc.

We changed our minds.

We're staying together!

I think you're gonna want to hear this.

No need!

[ Hiss! ]

Not today, Dave.

- Not today. - Ugh.

Elliott: So, in the end, we decided to stay together,

'cause if anyone can make it work...

- It's us! - Dr. Kallous: What are you two talking about?!

I just want a name for the test!

[ Whispers ] Tell him about the name.

We've agreed on "Archibald trombone Jr."

High-four!

Both: We've been working on that.

Silence!

Look, I didn't think I'd have to say this,

but you do realize you're in the same clothes, right?

So... w-we were never merged?

Of course not! You're just two fools

squeezed into the same sweater.

That can happen if you teleport together.

Why do you think no one else does it?

Ahh, thank goodness. Ahh, thank goodness.

Uh, could you give us a second, please?

I don't know how I got into this

stupid profession in the first place.

I could have been anything, but, no, it had to be this.

Okay, we're done. Okay, we're done.

Don't worry about it.

Not so fast, nitwits!

I still need one of you to take the "f"

and clean the school windows this weekend.

So, which one of you is it going to be?

♪♪

[ Squeegee squeaking ]

♪♪

Wow.

Now, that's the best view on the centrium.

Right, mo?

I don't know.

You didn't give me my glasses back.

♪♪

That's my nose.

Aaaah!

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