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My name is B. J. Novak.
I wanna tell you
about this show I made.
2
00:00:04,656 --> 00:00:07,050
It's a completely different
episode every time.
3
00:00:07,094 --> 00:00:08,138
- Pop culture.
- Sex.
4
00:00:08,182 --> 00:00:09,226
Revenge.
5
00:00:09,270 --> 00:00:10,271
Here it is. Is that it?
6
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:12,012
That's it.
7
00:00:22,457 --> 00:00:25,329
Attention!
The party bus will be leaving
8
00:00:25,373 --> 00:00:26,852
- in a moment!
- We have
9
00:00:26,896 --> 00:00:29,594
a massive backlog
of Vampiric Council business,
10
00:00:29,638 --> 00:00:31,944
and you all pick now
to go on a trip?
11
00:00:31,988 --> 00:00:35,339
All work, no play makes
Colin Robinson a dull guy.
12
00:00:35,383 --> 00:00:36,906
Guillermo,
there are two missing.
13
00:00:39,256 --> 00:00:40,214
Great.
14
00:00:40,257 --> 00:00:41,867
Holiday time!
15
00:00:41,911 --> 00:00:43,608
It has been several decades
since we have taken
16
00:00:43,652 --> 00:00:45,306
an excursion away from our home.
17
00:00:45,349 --> 00:00:46,611
But Sean and Charmaine...
18
00:00:46,655 --> 00:00:48,396
Seanie!
19
00:00:48,439 --> 00:00:50,789
Yes, exactly. Sean
and Charmaine from next door
20
00:00:50,833 --> 00:00:52,530
have organized a group getaway
21
00:00:52,574 --> 00:00:53,836
to celebrate their anniversary.
22
00:00:53,879 --> 00:00:55,098
- Yeah.
- And...
23
00:00:55,142 --> 00:00:56,969
- they've invited us!
24
00:00:57,013 --> 00:00:58,841
For vampires, traveling away
25
00:00:58,884 --> 00:01:00,582
from home can be very difficult.
26
00:01:00,625 --> 00:01:02,453
It's not the same
as just flashing
27
00:01:02,497 --> 00:01:05,630
a few papers or wanking off
Morris from steerage.
28
00:01:05,674 --> 00:01:07,154
There's a lot more to it.
29
00:01:07,197 --> 00:01:09,286
Most important rule-- you must
30
00:01:09,330 --> 00:01:12,115
take with you the homeland soil
of your coffin.
31
00:01:12,159 --> 00:01:14,465
-Without this ancestral earth...
- Thank you.
32
00:01:14,509 --> 00:01:15,858
...you cannot sleep,
you cannot leave,
33
00:01:15,901 --> 00:01:16,902
- Come.
-...you cannot hypnotize,
34
00:01:16,946 --> 00:01:18,643
and your powers go
35
00:01:18,687 --> 00:01:20,297
to absolute liquid shit.
36
00:01:20,341 --> 00:01:23,039
Take the soil with me.
All of it.
37
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:25,302
- Tie a knot. Very safe.
There we are.
38
00:01:25,346 --> 00:01:26,782
Ready to travel!
39
00:01:27,913 --> 00:01:29,350
Some call our destination
40
00:01:29,393 --> 00:01:31,308
a mecca of the depraved.
41
00:01:31,352 --> 00:01:34,181
America's
premier nocturnal playground
42
00:01:34,224 --> 00:01:36,139
of hedonistic debauchery.
43
00:01:36,183 --> 00:01:38,968
Sin City, U.S. of A., baby!
44
00:01:39,011 --> 00:01:42,537
♪ Viva Atlantic City♪
45
00:01:42,580 --> 00:01:45,931
-♪ Viva Atlantic City♪
- Atlantic City, baby!
46
00:01:45,975 --> 00:01:47,237
- Atlantic City, baby.
-♪ Viva...♪
47
00:01:47,281 --> 00:01:48,804
Not you, Guillermo.
48
00:01:48,847 --> 00:01:49,892
-♪ Viva♪
-♪ Atlantic♪
49
00:01:49,935 --> 00:01:51,633
♪ City!♪
50
00:01:56,594 --> 00:01:59,380
♪ Don't sing if you want
to live long♪
51
00:01:59,423 --> 00:02:01,382
♪ They have no use
for your song♪
52
00:02:01,425 --> 00:02:03,775
- Atlantic City, baby!
53
00:02:03,819 --> 00:02:06,082
-♪ You're dead, you're dead,
you're dead♪
54
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:08,215
♪ You're dead
and out of this world♪
55
00:02:10,086 --> 00:02:12,088
♪ Now your hope and compassion
is gone♪
56
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:14,264
♪ You sold out your dream
to the world♪
57
00:02:14,308 --> 00:02:18,268
♪ Stay dead, stay dead,
stay dead, you're dead♪
58
00:02:18,312 --> 00:02:20,531
-♪ And out of this world.♪
- Come on, guys, get off the bus!
59
00:02:20,575 --> 00:02:21,489
Yeah!
60
00:02:30,237 --> 00:02:32,021
Here you go, my darling.
61
00:02:32,064 --> 00:02:34,937
Your home away from home.
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00:02:38,288 --> 00:02:40,029
I'll be honest-- I'm jealous.
63
00:02:40,072 --> 00:02:41,944
That cot looks pretty sweet.
64
00:02:41,987 --> 00:02:43,728
Really? Do you want to trade?
65
00:02:43,772 --> 00:02:46,122
No, I was just being polite.
It's obviously very shitty.
66
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:47,776
Thank you for the tiny bed.
67
00:02:47,819 --> 00:02:50,039
I hereby present you,
the innkeeper,
68
00:02:50,082 --> 00:02:52,346
with a feather
from a female crow,
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00:02:52,389 --> 00:02:54,043
as is customary
amongst travelers.
70
00:02:54,086 --> 00:02:56,219
Uh, sir,
sorry, no, this is for you.
71
00:02:56,263 --> 00:02:58,961
- I'll take that, thank you.
- I'm going to spread my soil.
72
00:02:59,004 --> 00:03:01,964
Hey, Nadja, Laszlo, you guys
hitting the skins in there?
73
00:03:02,007 --> 00:03:03,748
Yes, Colin Robinson, we are!
74
00:03:03,792 --> 00:03:05,315
Oh.
75
00:03:05,359 --> 00:03:07,665
♪ Al Qolnidar.♪
76
00:03:07,709 --> 00:03:10,015
It smells like shit.
Okay, so 65% off,
Nordstrom Rack.
77
00:03:10,059 --> 00:03:11,843
No!
- Yes.
78
00:03:11,887 --> 00:03:13,932
- What are you doing?
- Stop.
- On my mother.
79
00:03:13,976 --> 00:03:16,500
- Norway? Wow.
- No, well, Nordstrom Rack,
yeah.
80
00:03:16,544 --> 00:03:17,849
Ding, ding, ding.
Ding, ding, ding.
81
00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:19,242
Ding, ding, ding!
82
00:03:19,286 --> 00:03:21,244
Now, anyone who knows me
83
00:03:21,288 --> 00:03:23,464
knows that I am not much
for speeches.
84
00:03:23,507 --> 00:03:26,249
- Seanie!
- Hey! There he is!
85
00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:28,251
But, uh, I just want to say
to my wife...
86
00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:29,252
That's me.
87
00:03:29,296 --> 00:03:31,254
...that I adore you.
88
00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:32,951
- Yeah.
I mean, look at us.
89
00:03:32,995 --> 00:03:34,953
You know? It's 11 friends,
90
00:03:34,997 --> 00:03:36,346
all together.
91
00:03:36,390 --> 00:03:38,348
- It's pretty amazing, you know?
- Yeah.
92
00:03:38,392 --> 00:03:41,264
Holy shit.
It's just like Ocean's Eleven!
93
00:03:41,308 --> 00:03:42,918
"What,
did you guys get a group rate
94
00:03:42,961 --> 00:03:44,833
- or something?"
Yes!
95
00:03:46,051 --> 00:03:47,314
I love this woman!
96
00:03:47,357 --> 00:03:48,837
Okay, okay.
97
00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:50,447
I've always been a Twelve man
at heart.
98
00:03:50,491 --> 00:03:52,754
But, recently,
we rewatched Eleven,
99
00:03:52,797 --> 00:03:55,496
and I have to say that it's,
uh, not just a prequel.
100
00:03:55,539 --> 00:03:58,150
It's, uh... it's got
a lot of world-building, too.
101
00:03:58,194 --> 00:04:00,240
All right,
let's bring it up a little bit.
102
00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:02,111
Let's give a shout-out
to my best buds.
103
00:04:02,154 --> 00:04:04,113
- My main man Laz.
- Seanie!
104
00:04:04,156 --> 00:04:07,072
To my guy. Frankie,
we played peewee together.
105
00:04:07,116 --> 00:04:09,074
Frankie!
- Yeah, you remember that?
106
00:04:09,118 --> 00:04:12,295
Hey, Mikey! Wake up! We played
peewee together, too, right?
107
00:04:12,339 --> 00:04:14,123
- Oh! Holy shit!
- Mikey!
108
00:04:14,166 --> 00:04:15,690
- What, are you drunk already?!
Oh, no.
109
00:04:15,733 --> 00:04:17,431
- There's glass in all our food.
110
00:04:17,474 --> 00:04:18,910
- We can't eat it.
- Shut up, shut up,
shut up, shut up.
111
00:04:18,954 --> 00:04:21,435
Gizmo, be a good familiar
and fetch a broom.
112
00:04:21,478 --> 00:04:23,175
Well, I'm not a familiar
anymore, so...
113
00:04:23,219 --> 00:04:24,655
Fetch a broom from the hostess
now, Guillermo.
114
00:04:26,962 --> 00:04:28,616
Ooh, ah.
115
00:04:28,659 --> 00:04:30,357
Cheeky prick.
116
00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:32,315
Yeah, the transition
117
00:04:32,359 --> 00:04:35,927
from familiar to bodyguard
has been, um...
118
00:04:37,712 --> 00:04:40,192
...not much of a transition,
I guess?
119
00:04:40,236 --> 00:04:42,238
Guillermo is no longer a familiar.
120
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:45,197
So just make him feel
like he's part of the team.
121
00:04:45,241 --> 00:04:49,027
No, no, Nandor is right. I mean,
at every office I've worked at,
122
00:04:49,071 --> 00:04:52,030
they always say,
"We're a big family here."
123
00:04:52,074 --> 00:04:53,902
And it does motivate people
to work harder
124
00:04:53,945 --> 00:04:56,208
and neglect
their actual families
125
00:04:56,252 --> 00:04:57,645
and put up with all sorts
of degrading shit.
126
00:04:57,688 --> 00:04:59,168
Okay.
127
00:04:59,211 --> 00:05:01,170
They are going to bring
a mop and a broom.
128
00:05:01,213 --> 00:05:02,519
Oh.
129
00:05:02,563 --> 00:05:04,173
Hmm?
130
00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:05,305
Um...
131
00:05:05,348 --> 00:05:06,828
Hello, Guillermo.
132
00:05:06,871 --> 00:05:10,614
Um, do you have any, um...
133
00:05:10,658 --> 00:05:12,486
- interests?
That's a great question.
134
00:05:12,529 --> 00:05:14,139
I was wondering that, too.
135
00:05:14,183 --> 00:05:16,272
- Do I have any interests?
- Hmm.
136
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,100
- Yes, of course I...
- Wow!
Very cool.
137
00:05:18,143 --> 00:05:21,190
He's got interests and he knows
what's... interesting.
138
00:05:21,233 --> 00:05:24,106
- Yeah. I've got interests, too.
Hmm.
139
00:05:24,149 --> 00:05:26,108
It's important.
140
00:05:26,151 --> 00:05:27,718
- Okay.
We are the same.
141
00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:29,024
- All with interests.
Mm.
142
00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:30,678
Uh, you've got interests,
don't you,
143
00:05:30,721 --> 00:05:32,244
- Colin Robinson?
- I like to walk around.
144
00:05:32,288 --> 00:05:34,421
- I like to stare.
Did I...
145
00:05:34,464 --> 00:05:35,465
did I miss something?
146
00:05:35,509 --> 00:05:36,945
We're all a big family here.
147
00:05:36,988 --> 00:05:38,381
Right.
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00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:39,991
These interests that you have,
149
00:05:40,035 --> 00:05:41,384
- do they involve the fairer sex?
150
00:05:41,428 --> 00:05:43,038
I'm not gonna do that.
151
00:05:43,081 --> 00:05:44,431
- I'm not talking...
- Guillermo, do you have yourself
152
00:05:44,474 --> 00:05:46,433
a little cutie,
chubby little girlfriend?
153
00:05:46,476 --> 00:05:48,043
Why does she have to be chub--
You know what...
154
00:05:48,086 --> 00:05:50,393
- Maybe a boyfriend?
Yes. Have you got
155
00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:52,003
a little secret,
you little sick fuck?
156
00:05:52,047 --> 00:05:54,615
Yeah, come on, you stinky bitch.
The library is open.
157
00:05:54,658 --> 00:05:56,268
- Definitely not gonna talk
about...
158
00:05:56,312 --> 00:05:58,967
- Oh, one of each, you dirty dog.
- Ooh, yes, he does.
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00:05:59,010 --> 00:06:02,449
No, I... I just-- I guess I grew
up in a family where, you know,
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00:06:02,492 --> 00:06:04,146
talking about your private life
161
00:06:04,189 --> 00:06:05,582
is... that.
162
00:06:05,626 --> 00:06:07,845
- It's private.
Oh, please.
163
00:06:07,889 --> 00:06:10,282
Do you know what the most
beautiful thing in the world is?
164
00:06:10,326 --> 00:06:11,327
What?
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00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,459
Fucking.
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00:06:12,502 --> 00:06:14,461
The kaleidoscopic entwining
167
00:06:14,504 --> 00:06:16,811
of limbs and genitalia.
168
00:06:16,854 --> 00:06:18,900
Men, women. Women, men.
169
00:06:18,943 --> 00:06:20,336
Women, women, women,
170
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,730
women, men, men, men, men.
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00:06:22,773 --> 00:06:23,774
Anything gets me hard.
172
00:06:23,818 --> 00:06:25,602
Sometimes it's a problem.
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00:06:25,646 --> 00:06:27,125
Not to me.
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00:06:27,169 --> 00:06:28,866
Everyone fucks and sucks,
175
00:06:28,910 --> 00:06:30,955
- thousands of chaps
and chap-esses...
- Mm.
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00:06:30,999 --> 00:06:33,436
...before they meet the one.
But if they're lucky,
177
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:36,657
they can go off and fuck
millions of others, like we do.
178
00:06:36,700 --> 00:06:38,876
Don't think that was the case
with my parents.
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00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:39,921
Tell us more about that.
180
00:06:39,964 --> 00:06:41,575
You really want to know?
181
00:06:41,618 --> 00:06:42,880
- Yeah, yeah.
Yes.
- Mm.
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00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,188
Uh, well, yeah.
183
00:06:46,231 --> 00:06:48,886
It is tough. I mean,
I remember being ten or 11
184
00:06:48,930 --> 00:06:51,367
- when I first realized
that I was...
185
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:54,457
Frankie put glass in the piccata
and the restaurant comped us,
186
00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:56,503
so we got all these chips.
Let's hit the casino.
187
00:06:56,546 --> 00:06:58,505
- All right.
- Come on, Nadia. Let's go watch
this Rat Pack show
188
00:06:58,548 --> 00:07:00,507
- with the girls.
- Did you say "the Rat Pack"?
189
00:07:00,550 --> 00:07:02,073
Yeah, they're good.
- They're here?
190
00:07:02,117 --> 00:07:04,075
Yeah, yeah, it's the Rat Pack.
191
00:07:04,119 --> 00:07:05,686
Chips ahoy!
192
00:07:05,729 --> 00:07:07,775
- Yeah!
193
00:07:07,818 --> 00:07:09,472
Atlantic City, baby!
194
00:07:12,867 --> 00:07:14,346
- We're actually seeing
the Rat Pack?
- Yeah!
195
00:07:14,390 --> 00:07:16,131
I couldn't bloody believe it
196
00:07:16,174 --> 00:07:18,089
when Charmaine said
we were seeing the Rat Pack.
197
00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:19,961
I mean, what a coincidence.
198
00:07:20,004 --> 00:07:23,051
My old mateys, performing here,
tonight!
199
00:07:23,094 --> 00:07:25,488
Oh, we used to have such fun
together.
200
00:07:25,532 --> 00:07:28,143
Hanging with the who's who
of the local
201
00:07:28,186 --> 00:07:30,014
Cosa Nostra in the back room.
202
00:07:30,058 --> 00:07:31,755
What can I say?
203
00:07:31,799 --> 00:07:33,540
We were just a bunch
of night cats,
204
00:07:33,583 --> 00:07:36,325
and nobody was playing
for keeps.
205
00:07:36,368 --> 00:07:38,370
- I used to scream,
206
00:07:38,414 --> 00:07:40,329
"Ain't That a Kick in the Head!"
207
00:07:40,372 --> 00:07:43,419
at every show because it was
my favorite number and also,
208
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,813
you know,
what a stupid name for a song.
209
00:07:45,856 --> 00:07:48,511
Frankie used to say that
they should callme the Voice.
210
00:07:48,555 --> 00:07:50,034
He'd say, uh,
211
00:07:50,078 --> 00:07:52,341
"Nadja, I don't know
what's more of a problem,
212
00:07:52,384 --> 00:07:55,823
your voice or my taste
in blondes."
213
00:07:55,866 --> 00:07:58,390
- Cheers, ladies!
- I love alcohol.
214
00:07:58,434 --> 00:08:00,567
I have to drink it.
Um, num, num, num.
215
00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:02,525
- Okay, here they-they are!
216
00:08:02,569 --> 00:08:04,222
Frankie! Deanie!
217
00:08:04,266 --> 00:08:06,137
Oh, this is amazing for me!
218
00:08:06,181 --> 00:08:08,052
It's me, Nadja! Hello!
219
00:08:08,096 --> 00:08:10,446
♪ How lucky can one guy be?♪
220
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,709
Oh, wow. I mean,
they haven't changed at all.
221
00:08:12,753 --> 00:08:15,407
Nadja from Antipaxos! Hello!
222
00:08:15,451 --> 00:08:17,540
They did say, uh,
"Ring-a-ding-ding" a lot.
223
00:08:17,584 --> 00:08:19,803
- Ring-a-ding-ding!
- Which is one
of their catchphrases.
224
00:08:19,847 --> 00:08:21,805
It's Nadja! Do you remember?!
225
00:08:21,849 --> 00:08:23,154
All right.
226
00:08:23,198 --> 00:08:24,547
But, you know, crooners
227
00:08:24,591 --> 00:08:25,766
gonna croon.
228
00:08:25,809 --> 00:08:26,941
♪ Tell me quick♪
229
00:08:26,984 --> 00:08:28,682
♪ Ain't that a kick♪
230
00:08:28,725 --> 00:08:33,164
♪ In the head...?♪
231
00:08:33,208 --> 00:08:34,470
Oh, boy. All right.
232
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:35,950
We got some live ones tonight.
233
00:08:37,299 --> 00:08:38,648
So, who do you guys
234
00:08:38,692 --> 00:08:40,520
favor for Monday night's fight?
235
00:08:40,563 --> 00:08:42,652
- I understand
236
00:08:42,696 --> 00:08:44,611
you're indicating
that you want me to proceed.
237
00:08:44,654 --> 00:08:46,264
But I'm still assessing
my cards,
238
00:08:46,308 --> 00:08:47,788
which is within my right.
239
00:08:47,831 --> 00:08:50,834
Rodriguez, of course,
has that uppercut.
240
00:08:50,878 --> 00:08:54,142
But Jackson has the reach.
70 inches. That's no slouch.
241
00:08:54,185 --> 00:08:56,144
- Yes.
242
00:08:56,187 --> 00:08:58,320
- He hasn't moved for hours.
243
00:08:58,363 --> 00:09:00,061
I've actually never seen him
like this, to be honest.
244
00:09:00,104 --> 00:09:01,279
Let's go. Come on.
245
00:09:01,323 --> 00:09:04,152
I am playing a game called
246
00:09:04,195 --> 00:09:05,632
The Big Bang Theory game.
247
00:09:05,675 --> 00:09:07,547
So hypnotic.
248
00:09:07,590 --> 00:09:09,592
Really has me in its grips.
249
00:09:11,159 --> 00:09:13,509
Two Leonards and a Raj.
I need three Rajs!
250
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:14,902
Again.
251
00:09:14,945 --> 00:09:16,556
I won!
252
00:09:16,599 --> 00:09:19,515
- Bazinga...!
253
00:09:22,039 --> 00:09:25,129
"Bazinga" is the war cry
of Sheldon,
254
00:09:25,173 --> 00:09:27,044
their tall leader.
255
00:09:27,088 --> 00:09:29,264
I haven't seen them
in so long.
256
00:09:29,307 --> 00:09:30,874
Frankie, Deanie, Sammy,
257
00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:32,615
my sweet paisans.
258
00:09:32,659 --> 00:09:33,660
It's me,
259
00:09:33,703 --> 00:09:36,010
it's your "luck be a lady"!
260
00:09:36,053 --> 00:09:37,620
- Oh.
- Oh,
261
00:09:37,664 --> 00:09:39,404
you were the aces of clubs
tonight.
262
00:09:39,448 --> 00:09:41,189
- Ring-a-ding-ding!
263
00:09:41,232 --> 00:09:42,930
There it is!
264
00:09:42,973 --> 00:09:45,149
I don't think it's gonna be
a classic match.
265
00:09:45,193 --> 00:09:46,194
Anyway, it-- Let's see.
266
00:09:46,237 --> 00:09:48,631
We got a six and a fi--
267
00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:50,894
I don't really know
how to play this.
268
00:09:50,938 --> 00:09:52,983
- Come on, Sheldon.
- Yeah, I know
they're still having fun,
269
00:09:53,027 --> 00:09:54,898
but it's almost sunrise.
270
00:09:54,942 --> 00:09:56,987
It's very important
for a bodyguard
271
00:09:57,031 --> 00:09:59,555
to be on top of
when it's time for nap-naps.
272
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:00,904
Do it for me, Raj.
273
00:10:00,948 --> 00:10:02,689
- They get a little aggravated
274
00:10:02,732 --> 00:10:05,082
- when they don't get
their night...
- Fucking game!
275
00:10:06,736 --> 00:10:08,433
See?
276
00:10:08,477 --> 00:10:10,740
- Time for night-night.
- Come on. Guillermo, not now.
277
00:10:10,784 --> 00:10:13,134
- Give me more quarters.
I need more quarters.
- No, I think-- I think it's time
278
00:10:13,177 --> 00:10:14,178
- for night-night.
- No.
279
00:10:14,222 --> 00:10:15,527
The sun is about to come up.
280
00:10:15,571 --> 00:10:17,268
- You can't make me.
- Aw. Come on.
281
00:10:17,312 --> 00:10:19,053
- No, these are my new friends.
- We should go.
282
00:10:19,096 --> 00:10:20,532
- This way. Over here. This way.
- What does this one do?
283
00:10:20,576 --> 00:10:21,751
No, it doesn't do anything.
284
00:10:24,885 --> 00:10:26,843
I still cannot slumber.
285
00:10:26,887 --> 00:10:28,845
Colin Robinson,
are you slumbering?
286
00:10:28,889 --> 00:10:30,891
No. And stop asking me.
287
00:10:30,934 --> 00:10:32,806
Are you slumbering in there?!
288
00:10:32,849 --> 00:10:35,417
We are having a very hard time
trying to slumber!
289
00:10:35,460 --> 00:10:38,159
Yes, we are also unable
to slumber!
290
00:10:38,202 --> 00:10:39,769
Guillermo, are you slumbering?
291
00:10:39,813 --> 00:10:41,684
Guillermo.
292
00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:45,209
Guillermo, wake up!
I asked you, are you slumbering?
293
00:10:46,384 --> 00:10:48,343
What is this?
294
00:10:48,386 --> 00:10:49,823
Oh, shit.
295
00:10:49,866 --> 00:10:51,389
Shit. No.
296
00:10:52,434 --> 00:10:54,262
Shit. Shit!
297
00:10:54,305 --> 00:10:55,698
My ancestral soil!
298
00:10:55,742 --> 00:10:57,091
It is gone!
299
00:10:57,134 --> 00:10:59,136
Our ancestral soil is also gone!
300
00:10:59,180 --> 00:11:01,878
What the piss in hell
is happening?!
301
00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:04,098
You know how it is when you have
302
00:11:04,141 --> 00:11:06,404
the binge-watch blinders on.
303
00:11:06,448 --> 00:11:09,190
I got caught up in a show
that I'm obsessed with,
304
00:11:09,233 --> 00:11:10,191
and they only air it
305
00:11:10,234 --> 00:11:12,106
here at the hotel.
306
00:11:12,149 --> 00:11:13,585
♪ Roll the dice♪
307
00:11:13,629 --> 00:11:15,109
♪ Spin that wheel...♪
308
00:11:15,152 --> 00:11:17,720
Anyway, housekeeping came in,
and...
309
00:11:17,764 --> 00:11:19,766
I-I didn't notice
what she was doing.
310
00:11:19,809 --> 00:11:21,419
♪ The sushi's raw♪
311
00:11:21,463 --> 00:11:24,422
♪ Catch a show
and hit the spa.♪
312
00:11:25,815 --> 00:11:27,861
- This is very bad.
"Very bad"?!
313
00:11:27,904 --> 00:11:29,732
This is a fucking catastrophe!
314
00:11:29,776 --> 00:11:31,516
If our ancestral soil is gone,
315
00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:33,301
then we cannot rest!
If we cannot rest,
316
00:11:33,344 --> 00:11:34,389
then our powers...
317
00:11:34,432 --> 00:11:35,869
I can't even say it.
318
00:11:35,912 --> 00:11:38,001
Our powers are poof! Gone!
319
00:11:38,045 --> 00:11:39,699
I can feel my powers fading.
320
00:11:39,742 --> 00:11:40,830
Bat!
321
00:11:42,745 --> 00:11:44,747
A fucking sparrow.
322
00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:46,618
- The lamest of all birds.
323
00:11:46,662 --> 00:11:47,924
There is but one solution.
324
00:11:47,968 --> 00:11:49,665
Guillermo,
325
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,972
you must go on a journey,
326
00:11:52,015 --> 00:11:53,016
a quest.
327
00:11:53,060 --> 00:11:54,322
How do you feel about that?
328
00:11:54,365 --> 00:11:55,410
Uh...
329
00:11:55,453 --> 00:11:56,933
Good. Will the roads
330
00:11:56,977 --> 00:11:59,283
- be treacherous? Yes.
- Yes.
- Yes!
331
00:11:59,327 --> 00:12:00,589
- Maybe I shouldn't...
- Will there
332
00:12:00,632 --> 00:12:02,069
be foes at every turn?
333
00:12:02,112 --> 00:12:03,766
- Most certainly.
- Yes. Yes.
334
00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:05,376
- I have a lot of enemies.
- Don't like that.
335
00:12:05,420 --> 00:12:07,901
But you are the only one
that can save us.
336
00:12:07,944 --> 00:12:09,076
Are you man enough?
337
00:12:09,119 --> 00:12:10,077
Uh...
338
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:11,252
Good.
339
00:12:11,295 --> 00:12:12,819
- He's my best friend.
- Please.
340
00:12:12,862 --> 00:12:14,168
No, I'm your best friend.
341
00:12:14,211 --> 00:12:15,735
My hypnosis powers are buggered.
342
00:12:15,778 --> 00:12:17,388
So I have to look elsewhere
343
00:12:17,432 --> 00:12:19,564
to secure Gizmo's travel money.
344
00:12:19,608 --> 00:12:23,351
Could this ruin the greatest
friendship of my life?
345
00:12:23,394 --> 00:12:25,788
- Seanie!
Hey.
346
00:12:25,832 --> 00:12:28,356
Hey, Laz. What are you doing?!
Get the "D" back!
347
00:12:28,399 --> 00:12:31,228
I need to borrow your credit
card and not tell you why.
348
00:12:32,229 --> 00:12:34,188
You can't tell me why
349
00:12:34,231 --> 00:12:36,016
you need to borrow
my credit card?
350
00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:39,410
No explanation necessary.
351
00:12:39,454 --> 00:12:41,064
- Really?
- You're my best friend.
352
00:12:41,108 --> 00:12:43,153
Oh, Marone. Are you kidding me?
353
00:12:43,197 --> 00:12:45,155
Fucking Knicks. They'll break
your heart every time.
354
00:12:45,199 --> 00:12:46,809
But I can't quit 'em.
You know what I mean?
355
00:12:46,853 --> 00:12:47,767
Yeah.
- Hey, listen, you're gonna have
356
00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:48,724
to pay me back, like,
357
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,334
right away. ASAP, okay?
358
00:12:50,378 --> 00:12:53,381
'Cause the Patrick Ewing
commemorative Discover Card,
359
00:12:53,424 --> 00:12:54,730
that's for emergencies only.
360
00:12:54,774 --> 00:12:56,558
Get it back soon.
Listen, I trust you.
361
00:12:56,601 --> 00:12:58,212
You're my main man.
I'd die for you.
362
00:12:58,255 --> 00:12:59,648
- Thanks again.
363
00:13:01,563 --> 00:13:04,522
Yeah, I know that collecting
dirt is shit work, but...
364
00:13:04,566 --> 00:13:06,829
I've never been to Europe
before, so...
365
00:13:09,353 --> 00:13:10,790
- Seanie.
- Yeah.
366
00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:13,531
The past 20 years
have not always been easy.
367
00:13:13,575 --> 00:13:16,143
We are trapped
in an eternal limbo
368
00:13:16,186 --> 00:13:19,668
at the Monaco Grand Hotel
and Casino facility.
369
00:13:19,711 --> 00:13:21,235
...our roses and our thorns.
370
00:13:21,278 --> 00:13:22,932
Oh, look at that.
371
00:13:22,976 --> 00:13:25,848
Oh, she already drank so much.
372
00:13:25,892 --> 00:13:27,545
Our powers are waning,
and our minds
373
00:13:27,589 --> 00:13:30,026
are turning into a thick,
lumpy soup.
374
00:13:30,070 --> 00:13:31,549
Yes, you have to say you're...
375
00:13:31,593 --> 00:13:34,814
It is like hot onion water.
376
00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:37,860
And then you put that in my head
and that's my brain now.
377
00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:38,861
In the name
378
00:13:38,905 --> 00:13:39,862
of Jesus Christ.
379
00:13:41,864 --> 00:13:43,997
As the pages fall
from the calendar,
380
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:45,868
we can do nothing but wait...
381
00:13:45,912 --> 00:13:47,870
- No!
382
00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:50,699
...amongst the broken tulips
383
00:13:50,742 --> 00:13:52,396
in the Garden State.
384
00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:54,268
Vow renewal
385
00:13:54,311 --> 00:13:55,878
ceremonies.
386
00:13:55,922 --> 00:13:57,880
Too long. They're too long.
387
00:13:57,924 --> 00:13:59,839
And I pronounce you
man and wife.
388
00:13:59,882 --> 00:14:01,057
Pointless.
389
00:14:01,101 --> 00:14:02,711
It has been weeks
since any of us
390
00:14:02,754 --> 00:14:05,105
have had even a moment
of slumber.
391
00:14:05,148 --> 00:14:07,542
It's actually been only,
like, 14 hours,
392
00:14:07,585 --> 00:14:09,544
but they get a little punchy
393
00:14:09,587 --> 00:14:11,285
when they don't get their sleep.
394
00:14:11,328 --> 00:14:12,808
Three, two, one.
395
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,549
- Cheese.
- Cheese. Let's do it.
396
00:14:14,592 --> 00:14:16,246
Cheese!
397
00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:19,771
Okay, here we are in...
jolly ole England.
398
00:14:19,815 --> 00:14:21,164
I'm in London, mate.
399
00:14:21,208 --> 00:14:22,383
Oh, that's not good.
400
00:14:22,426 --> 00:14:23,688
Just got to get this dirt.
401
00:14:23,732 --> 00:14:25,168
So I'm gonna put you guys
down here.
402
00:14:25,212 --> 00:14:28,345
I'm just here for British dirt
for Laszlo.
403
00:14:28,389 --> 00:14:29,825
All right.
404
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:32,001
Back on the plane.
405
00:14:32,045 --> 00:14:34,874
This Big Bang Theory
is really very good.
- Bazinga.
406
00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:37,093
Very faithful
to the slot machine.
407
00:14:37,137 --> 00:14:38,703
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- For the last time,
408
00:14:38,747 --> 00:14:43,752
can you turn this TV down?!
409
00:14:43,795 --> 00:14:46,668
Laszlo can be
a real Leonard sometimes,
410
00:14:46,711 --> 00:14:48,148
- can't he?
- Mm-hmm.
411
00:14:48,191 --> 00:14:50,063
Laszlo is feeling very badly
412
00:14:50,106 --> 00:14:54,023
for taking $7,539
413
00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:56,896
from Sean
for the airplane tickets.
414
00:14:56,939 --> 00:14:58,114
Like a cheap thief.
415
00:14:58,158 --> 00:14:59,550
- I need to sort this...
- Yeah.
416
00:14:59,594 --> 00:15:01,117
...and I need to sort it now.
417
00:15:01,161 --> 00:15:02,379
Bazinga!
418
00:15:02,423 --> 00:15:04,033
Shut up!
419
00:15:04,077 --> 00:15:06,035
What are you doing, playing
Ping-Pong or basketball?!
420
00:15:06,079 --> 00:15:07,907
- Come on!
- Seanie...
421
00:15:07,950 --> 00:15:09,212
Yeah. Hey, Laz.
422
00:15:09,256 --> 00:15:10,344
Good to see you.
423
00:15:10,387 --> 00:15:11,388
Fuck! Fuck me!
424
00:15:11,432 --> 00:15:13,390
Are you fucking kidding me?!
425
00:15:13,434 --> 00:15:15,479
Learn how to use the board!
426
00:15:15,523 --> 00:15:16,480
Geez...
427
00:15:16,524 --> 00:15:18,004
- Are you okay?
428
00:15:18,047 --> 00:15:19,875
Listen, Laz,
can I be honest with you?
429
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:20,963
Of course.
430
00:15:21,007 --> 00:15:23,139
I used to have a...
431
00:15:23,183 --> 00:15:25,011
big-time gambling problem.
432
00:15:25,054 --> 00:15:26,795
- Right.
- Like, big-time.
You know, I promised Charmaine,
433
00:15:26,838 --> 00:15:29,058
you know, I said,
"Hey, listen, we go down to AC,
434
00:15:29,102 --> 00:15:31,017
- I'll be good this time."
- Right.
435
00:15:31,060 --> 00:15:32,670
And then I have just blown
all the money
436
00:15:32,714 --> 00:15:34,759
that we were gonna use
for the new deck.
437
00:15:34,803 --> 00:15:37,545
And we still owe money
for that stupid vow renewal.
438
00:15:37,588 --> 00:15:39,112
And I've lost all of our money.
439
00:15:39,155 --> 00:15:41,157
There's no money, Laz.
440
00:15:41,201 --> 00:15:42,637
I got to make it back.
441
00:15:44,378 --> 00:15:45,901
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
442
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,730
She's gonna leave me, Laz.
443
00:15:48,773 --> 00:15:49,992
She's gonna leave me.
444
00:15:50,036 --> 00:15:52,473
- Yeah, yeah.
445
00:15:52,516 --> 00:15:55,911
What good is some soil
from your homeland
446
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:59,045
when your best friend
in the whole world is suffering?
447
00:15:59,088 --> 00:16:01,525
Seanie...!
448
00:16:02,483 --> 00:16:04,050
And then it hit me.
449
00:16:04,093 --> 00:16:06,791
I know a few bambinos
who are absolutely rolling
450
00:16:06,835 --> 00:16:08,358
in the dough-re-mi.
451
00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:10,578
Surely they won't miss
a few clams.
452
00:16:10,621 --> 00:16:13,102
Oh, this has been such a scream,
453
00:16:13,146 --> 00:16:16,018
catching up with you old
so-and-sos.
454
00:16:16,062 --> 00:16:18,542
Unfortunately,
I cannot hypnotize them
455
00:16:18,586 --> 00:16:20,501
due to my weakened state. But...
456
00:16:20,544 --> 00:16:24,679
I can definitely use
my greatest non-vampiric power,
457
00:16:24,722 --> 00:16:27,464
my irresistible charms.
458
00:16:27,508 --> 00:16:30,598
How's about you guys give me
all the money you have?
459
00:16:30,641 --> 00:16:31,468
Hey, boys?
460
00:16:31,512 --> 00:16:33,035
I don't think so, sugar.
461
00:16:33,079 --> 00:16:35,211
You don't think so?
462
00:16:35,255 --> 00:16:36,865
Well, I do think so!
463
00:16:36,908 --> 00:16:39,433
'Cause if you don't empty
your motherfucking wallets
464
00:16:39,476 --> 00:16:40,869
right now, I'm going
465
00:16:40,912 --> 00:16:42,914
to empty all of you
of your lives!
466
00:16:42,958 --> 00:16:44,873
Kill you! Kill you dead!
467
00:16:44,916 --> 00:16:46,831
That's right.
468
00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:47,919
Uh...
469
00:16:47,963 --> 00:16:50,270
Just do it. She's... not well.
470
00:16:50,313 --> 00:16:53,360
- Yeah.
- Here you go, sugar.
My sweet maraschino
471
00:16:53,403 --> 00:16:55,536
- cherry babies.
- Bye.
- Yeah.
472
00:16:55,579 --> 00:16:57,581
- Laszlo, get the fuck out
of here.
- Yeah, yeah. I say,
473
00:16:57,625 --> 00:16:59,061
Mr. Sinatra,
474
00:16:59,105 --> 00:17:01,150
forgive me,
my mind's a little foggy, but...
475
00:17:01,194 --> 00:17:02,586
last time I looked,
476
00:17:02,630 --> 00:17:04,632
you weren't Chinese.
477
00:17:05,894 --> 00:17:07,069
Ring-a-ding-ding.
478
00:17:07,113 --> 00:17:09,071
I stand corrected.
479
00:17:09,115 --> 00:17:12,205
You guys work with those people?
I need that dough.
480
00:17:13,554 --> 00:17:14,816
Here we go.
481
00:17:14,859 --> 00:17:16,513
Okay.
482
00:17:16,557 --> 00:17:17,514
$20.
483
00:17:17,558 --> 00:17:19,342
$100. What?
484
00:17:19,386 --> 00:17:21,344
This is about $300.
485
00:17:21,388 --> 00:17:24,478
- Oh, fucking...
- 300 shitting dollars!
486
00:17:24,521 --> 00:17:26,045
My darling, don't explode,
487
00:17:26,088 --> 00:17:28,438
but are you quite sure
they're the real Rat Pack
488
00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:29,874
that you met years ago?
489
00:17:29,918 --> 00:17:32,007
What exactly are you trying
to say?
490
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,574
Nothing. All good.
491
00:17:33,617 --> 00:17:36,185
Hello. I'm in Greece.
492
00:17:40,363 --> 00:17:42,539
Aeropuerto-- airport-- can
we go to the airport, please?
493
00:17:42,583 --> 00:17:44,063
Thank you.
494
00:17:46,543 --> 00:17:47,631
Hey.
495
00:17:47,675 --> 00:17:49,416
Look at that.
496
00:17:49,459 --> 00:17:51,766
You got a couple Koothrappalis,
497
00:17:51,809 --> 00:17:54,247
a Hofstadter,
and four Wolowitzes.
498
00:17:54,290 --> 00:17:56,031
Oh, and Penny. Not bad.
499
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:58,512
Do you know what I have been
wondering, Colin Robinson?
500
00:17:58,555 --> 00:18:03,082
- What's that?
- Why do they call it
The Big Bang Theory?
501
00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:05,606
It's about the creation
of the universe.
502
00:18:05,649 --> 00:18:07,869
The what?
503
00:18:07,912 --> 00:18:09,566
And in
504
00:18:09,610 --> 00:18:10,828
a single instant,
505
00:18:10,872 --> 00:18:13,918
my world was turned upside down.
506
00:18:13,962 --> 00:18:16,660
...hence the Shaminovich-Cohen
conjecture.
507
00:18:16,704 --> 00:18:19,315
I-I gave him the broad strokes,
508
00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:21,448
the heliocentric nuts and bolts,
509
00:18:21,491 --> 00:18:22,971
uh, if you will.
510
00:18:23,014 --> 00:18:24,929
Has nothing to do with cats,
like you thought.
511
00:18:24,973 --> 00:18:26,931
But what about
the four elephants?
512
00:18:26,975 --> 00:18:29,064
For 750 years,
513
00:18:31,197 --> 00:18:33,242
that the Earth
rested upon the shoulders
514
00:18:33,286 --> 00:18:35,679
of four mighty elephants...
515
00:18:35,723 --> 00:18:37,464
Forget about the four elephants.
516
00:18:37,507 --> 00:18:40,336
...who stood on a shell
of a large and noble turtle.
517
00:18:40,380 --> 00:18:41,468
Look at the turtle.
518
00:18:41,511 --> 00:18:42,904
- Uh-huh.
- And then
519
00:18:42,947 --> 00:18:44,514
- four more elephants.
-...around which
520
00:18:44,558 --> 00:18:47,865
the sun and the moon
and all the stars revolve.
521
00:18:47,909 --> 00:18:51,042
But now,
thanks to modern science,
522
00:18:51,086 --> 00:18:54,611
Nandor understands that we're
all just temporary aggregations
523
00:18:54,655 --> 00:18:56,396
of dust and fluid
524
00:18:56,439 --> 00:18:58,180
camping out on a big rock
525
00:18:58,224 --> 00:19:00,574
that's just one
of an infinite number
526
00:19:00,617 --> 00:19:02,010
of equally unspecial
527
00:19:02,053 --> 00:19:05,318
big rocks that make up part
528
00:19:05,361 --> 00:19:07,624
of this vast
and uncaring universe.
529
00:19:07,668 --> 00:19:09,017
This is science.
530
00:19:09,060 --> 00:19:11,150
- But this is a turtle.
- The world
531
00:19:11,193 --> 00:19:14,979
which I have known for
seven and a half centuries...
532
00:19:15,023 --> 00:19:17,068
is a lie.
533
00:19:21,464 --> 00:19:22,857
Okay, so we're here
at the border,
534
00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:24,641
and he's just talking
to the soldier.
535
00:19:24,685 --> 00:19:26,165
While he's doing that,
I'm gonna go...
536
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:27,427
Okay.
537
00:19:27,470 --> 00:19:29,037
Just gonna get some dirt
right here.
538
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:30,256
Just gonna get...
539
00:19:30,299 --> 00:19:32,214
We got to go.
540
00:19:33,650 --> 00:19:35,217
Hours pass,
541
00:19:35,261 --> 00:19:37,350
but the cosmic words
of Colin Robinson
542
00:19:37,393 --> 00:19:40,396
are still bouncing around
my slumberless head.
543
00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:42,572
Really makes you think.
544
00:19:42,616 --> 00:19:45,401
What's the point of it all?
545
00:19:45,445 --> 00:19:47,751
What does it mean
to be a vampire?
546
00:19:47,795 --> 00:19:50,754
I mean,
we have no real families.
547
00:19:50,798 --> 00:19:53,670
Some of us
don't even have girlfriends.
548
00:19:53,714 --> 00:19:56,934
Even Sheldon had a girlfriend.
549
00:19:56,978 --> 00:19:58,284
But me?
550
00:19:58,327 --> 00:20:00,111
I am all alone,
551
00:20:00,155 --> 00:20:03,811
floating through the cold,
dark universe like...
552
00:20:03,854 --> 00:20:06,422
a little grain of furry sand.
553
00:20:10,774 --> 00:20:12,254
I got 'em.
554
00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:14,038
One, two, three.
555
00:20:14,082 --> 00:20:15,039
- I got them al...
- Something to drink?
556
00:20:15,083 --> 00:20:16,650
No, thank you!
557
00:20:19,870 --> 00:20:21,742
I'm back! And I brought every--
558
00:20:21,785 --> 00:20:24,135
What happened... here?
559
00:20:24,179 --> 00:20:26,964
I have caused
my best human friend Sean
560
00:20:27,008 --> 00:20:29,880
to be on the brink
of financial ruin and heartache.
561
00:20:29,924 --> 00:20:32,187
We are just like
my beloved Rat Pack--
562
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:34,711
once glorious,
now pathetic peasants.
563
00:20:34,755 --> 00:20:36,800
And, also, I have never felt
564
00:20:36,844 --> 00:20:39,542
so small, and what is
the point of anything?
565
00:20:39,586 --> 00:20:41,457
They won't let me watch
my favorite TV show
566
00:20:41,501 --> 00:20:42,632
with the sound up.
567
00:20:42,676 --> 00:20:44,678
[inhales, exhales]:
Okay.
568
00:20:44,721 --> 00:20:47,028
First things first,
you need to slumber.
569
00:20:47,071 --> 00:20:49,465
Huh?
- Here you go.
And while you're slumbering,
570
00:20:49,509 --> 00:20:52,076
- I'll think of a plan.
- But, first,
571
00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:55,166
scatter the soil
around our insignificant bodies.
572
00:20:55,210 --> 00:20:58,474
No. First, turn up the sound
on my fancy casino show.
573
00:21:00,041 --> 00:21:01,695
-♪ Roll the dice♪
574
00:21:01,738 --> 00:21:03,436
♪ Spin that wheel♪
575
00:21:03,479 --> 00:21:06,221
♪ Double down on a lucky deal♪
576
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:07,918
♪ Feel the breeze where♪
577
00:21:07,962 --> 00:21:11,226
♪ The boardwalk
meets the shore...♪
578
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,097
Before we get started,
should we go around the group,
579
00:21:13,141 --> 00:21:14,577
see how everyone's energy
is doing?
580
00:21:14,621 --> 00:21:16,840
- No. Fuck off.
- Okay. Back to normal then.
581
00:21:16,884 --> 00:21:19,756
So, at 6:47, I'm gonna go down
to the box office.
582
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:21,280
I'm gonna buy our tickets
for the fight.
583
00:21:21,323 --> 00:21:23,325
- Yes, Guillermo, we've got it.
- Okay, okay.
584
00:21:23,369 --> 00:21:25,240
- Just want to make sure
everyone knows what the plan is.
- Honestly,
585
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:26,981
sometimes I just think you love
the sound of your own voice.
586
00:21:27,024 --> 00:21:28,548
You know what? Let's go.
587
00:21:28,591 --> 00:21:30,419
Let's-let's do the plan.
588
00:21:30,463 --> 00:21:32,856
I wasn't really listening, so if
you wouldn't mind repeating it.
589
00:21:34,336 --> 00:21:36,338
Master, what are you gonna do?
590
00:21:36,382 --> 00:21:39,123
I am to meet my mark--
Eli Jackson the boxer--
591
00:21:39,167 --> 00:21:42,562
by the main elevator
at 6:52 in the p.m.'s.
592
00:21:42,605 --> 00:21:44,825
Shit.
593
00:21:44,868 --> 00:21:46,435
Going down.
594
00:21:46,479 --> 00:21:49,046
Into my hypnotic trance.
595
00:21:50,657 --> 00:21:52,223
Laszlo?
At 6:55,
596
00:21:52,267 --> 00:21:54,791
I hypnotize "Arturio" Rodriguez.
597
00:21:54,835 --> 00:21:58,317
Mr. Rodriguez, could I have
a self-portrait photograph?
598
00:21:59,361 --> 00:22:00,362
Splendid.
599
00:22:01,363 --> 00:22:02,451
Piece of piss.
600
00:22:02,495 --> 00:22:05,149
It is 6:59.
601
00:22:05,193 --> 00:22:07,369
Time to place
a nice, simple bet.
602
00:22:07,413 --> 00:22:08,544
Hello!
603
00:22:08,588 --> 00:22:11,025
And in the red corner,
604
00:22:11,068 --> 00:22:12,896
- heavyweight champion...
And at 8:00 p.m.,
we all take our seats
605
00:22:12,940 --> 00:22:14,115
at the fight.
606
00:22:16,073 --> 00:22:18,902
Ten seconds into round six,
607
00:22:18,946 --> 00:22:19,903
I trigger the hypnosis
of the two
608
00:22:19,947 --> 00:22:20,904
very large warrior men
609
00:22:20,948 --> 00:22:22,210
by crying out...
610
00:22:22,253 --> 00:22:24,734
♪ Ain't that a kick in the♪
611
00:22:24,778 --> 00:22:27,824
♪ Head...?♪
612
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:32,568
No!
613
00:22:32,612 --> 00:22:35,179
- It worked!
- Yes!
614
00:22:35,223 --> 00:22:37,094
Look at that!
Yes!
615
00:22:37,138 --> 00:22:40,315
And that is why Frankie said
that I should be the Voice.
616
00:22:42,665 --> 00:22:45,059
23...
617
00:22:45,102 --> 00:22:46,452
Benjamin Franklin.
618
00:22:46,495 --> 00:22:48,715
A lot of people think
he was president.
619
00:22:48,758 --> 00:22:50,238
They're wrong.
He was an ambassador.
620
00:22:50,281 --> 00:22:51,761
24... Stay with me.
621
00:22:51,805 --> 00:22:53,415
Stay-- I--
622
00:22:53,459 --> 00:22:55,896
Shoot. Now I lost my spot.
623
00:22:55,939 --> 00:22:58,420
Uh, how does it...?
- You have to step on it.
624
00:22:58,464 --> 00:23:00,204
- I'm on. I'm on!
- Just...
625
00:23:00,248 --> 00:23:02,293
- What is happening? Am I flying?
- Just hold on to this.
626
00:23:02,337 --> 00:23:04,165
- Possessed by witches.
- Nadja, turn around,
turn around.
627
00:23:04,208 --> 00:23:05,427
- Jump, jump, jump, jump.
Keep moving. Leap.
628
00:23:05,471 --> 00:23:07,864
There he is. Sean.
629
00:23:07,908 --> 00:23:09,213
Hey, Laz. What's going on?
630
00:23:09,257 --> 00:23:10,476
A gentleman's debt,
631
00:23:10,519 --> 00:23:13,435
repaid in full.
632
00:23:13,479 --> 00:23:15,872
Oh!
633
00:23:15,916 --> 00:23:17,483
Oh, my God!
634
00:23:17,526 --> 00:23:19,354
Laz, you're a lifesaver!
635
00:23:19,398 --> 00:23:21,443
Thank you. You don't know
what you just did.
636
00:23:21,487 --> 00:23:23,489
I could kiss you.
And I promise you,
637
00:23:23,532 --> 00:23:25,795
I'm never, ever,
ever gonna do this again.
638
00:23:25,839 --> 00:23:27,536
- I promise you guys.
That's it. I'm done.
- Mm.
639
00:23:27,580 --> 00:23:29,886
- I'm never gambling again.
I'm a new man.
- Good.
640
00:23:29,930 --> 00:23:31,975
- Good man.
- All right.
You guys are lifesavers.
641
00:23:32,019 --> 00:23:34,108
- Oh, thank God.
- We just did such
a wonderful thing, my love.
642
00:23:34,151 --> 00:23:35,936
I think we did.
643
00:23:41,202 --> 00:23:44,248
Put it all on lucky number 12!
644
00:23:44,292 --> 00:23:48,905
♪ Life spins like a wheel♪
645
00:23:48,949 --> 00:23:50,559
♪ You bet♪
646
00:23:50,603 --> 00:23:53,257
♪ Just what you feel♪
647
00:23:53,301 --> 00:23:55,912
♪ The chance♪
648
00:23:55,956 --> 00:23:58,567
♪ Life is the chance...♪
649
00:23:58,611 --> 00:24:00,264
I didn't want a pine deck,
and now I'm stuck
650
00:24:00,308 --> 00:24:01,352
with a freakin' pine deck.
651
00:24:01,396 --> 00:24:03,442
Oh, that's a hell of a beaver.
652
00:24:03,485 --> 00:24:04,965
- Charmaine...
What the fuck?
You bet the deck?
653
00:24:05,008 --> 00:24:06,749
You did a very good job,
Guillermo.
654
00:24:06,793 --> 00:24:08,272
Oh.
Thank you.
655
00:24:08,316 --> 00:24:10,753
This is from all of us.
656
00:24:11,928 --> 00:24:12,929
What-what is this?
657
00:24:12,973 --> 00:24:14,365
Surprise.
658
00:24:14,409 --> 00:24:16,629
"You are a very good familiar."
659
00:24:16,672 --> 00:24:19,936
And "familiar" is crossed out
and replaced with "bodyguard."
660
00:24:19,980 --> 00:24:21,547
You are the bodyguard.
Bodyguard.
661
00:24:21,590 --> 00:24:23,462
We're all a big family here.
662
00:24:45,092 --> 00:24:47,529
♪ With the turn of a card
and the flip of a coin♪
663
00:24:47,573 --> 00:24:49,052
♪ You're in love♪
664
00:24:50,097 --> 00:24:53,056
♪ With the turn of a card, ha♪
665
00:24:53,100 --> 00:24:55,058
♪ Flip of a coin, ha♪
666
00:24:55,102 --> 00:24:57,104
♪ Ha, love!♪
667
00:25:40,321 --> 00:25:45,544
I did not have sexual
relations with that woman.
668
00:25:53,595 --> 00:25:56,990
I think this is gonna be
the perfect place to work
without distraction.
669
00:25:57,599 --> 00:25:59,862
This place inspires us.
670
00:26:02,517 --> 00:26:03,866
We're not safe here.
671
00:26:05,389 --> 00:26:08,436
It takes pain
to make beautiful things.
672
00:26:08,479 --> 00:26:10,481
I'm trying
to keep his family together
673
00:26:10,525 --> 00:26:13,310
under very
difficult circumstances
674
00:26:23,625 --> 00:26:25,409
You're probably
wondering what we're doing.
675
00:26:25,453 --> 00:26:26,933
Short answer,
saving the earth.
676
00:26:26,976 --> 00:26:28,587
Again.
677
00:26:28,630 --> 00:26:29,805
I'm not leaving without you.
678
00:26:29,849 --> 00:26:32,112
I need something soft
to land on.
679
00:26:39,032 --> 00:26:41,991
We've heard rumors
that some men survived.
680
00:26:42,035 --> 00:26:43,906
Those people
will jump at anything
681
00:26:43,950 --> 00:26:45,778
that has a whiff
of conspiracy.
682
00:26:45,821 --> 00:26:46,953
So you'd better be sure.
46393
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