Original subtitles

What is comedy?

I'm just kidding.

What have I really began the show like that?

Hi, I'm BJ Novak, I am so excited to welcome

you to my television show, its called The Premise.

Every episode is different, different cast, different story.

Here we go.

Ethan Streiber is the kind of guy

who would do anything to be an ally.

He's about to find out what anything means.

This is social justice sex tape.

I didn't do anything you were there.

What did I do?

- I didn't do anything. - Hey!

This is an injustice.

You watched the season finale without me?

OK. Well, obviously I have a lot of work second

your associate gets everybody's bitch work.

Hey, gunner.

Thank you.

OK.

Well, when Rayna gives me one of my own cases

you won't see me for months.

Oh, it makes me deeply, deeply happy to be

talking to donors like you.

I mean, my favorite part of my job

is actually talking to donors.

Are you kidding me? Oh, you know what?

I'm so sorry. I got to go.

Stacey Abrams has actually just walked into my office.

Yes. The real Stacey Abrams, can you believe it?

I'll tell her you said hi.

OK.

Bye.

Getting your salary gunner.

What's up?

Do you remember the Darren Williams arrest in Bed-Stuy?

Charged with aggravated assault,

he says the cop tripped, and fell on his own.

- Body cams were off... - Yes, I'm familiar.

Why?

What am I looking at?

- Wait a second, is that... - I know.

- Is that... - Yup.

- A sex tape? - Darren Williams.

Have you ever seen anything like this before?

I was referring to the context.

Who's handling this case?

A public defender.

All right.

For now.

We have to take this case.

Oh, God. No, no, no, no, no, here.

I wish we could take all the cases, I do.

But for every case that we take, there's the ones that we don't.

And do you seriously want to go up

against the cops with a sex tape and a defendant that has a record?

You have 1,000 emails fighting for your attention, why would

you want to lose on this one?

We no longer have the freedom of having nothing to lose, OK?

Our reputation is our power.

Rayna, in my gut I know that this is important.

I know there's been cases I've pushed in the past but

this one is different. I know we can win.

OK.

Fine. You think this is important then you

go ahead and see what's there.

And if there is, first chair.

OK.

Yeah?

- I got this. - You got this?

I'm going to take this tape and get Darren Williams off.

That came out wrong, didn't it?

Get out of here.

Mr. Williams, my name is Eve stone, I'm a lawyer at CRA.

We're a non-profit law firm and I'm

interested in taking your case.

I've been here for like three months... why?

Apparently there's a tape.

Like a security cam?

Not exactly.

- Is this you? - No.

Wha... What's wrong with you? Why would you show me that?

I'm sorry. Obviously I'm so sorry that...

this part is this you?

Is that you?

Yeah. That's me.

Your lawyer told me you're planning to plead.

I think we can take this to trial.

I'm a father facing 15.

See they don't make this shit easy in here at all.

Darren I know that you're innocent

and I know I can prove it.

Have you done cases like this before?

I haven't led a trial before.

But there's never been a trial like this before.

OK.

OK.

Where did you get the tape from?

Hey there, Ethan Streiber.

I don't know if anyone has announced me.

I'm here to actually present some evidence.

- So... - That is definitely him.

He's here?

- Yeah. - OK.

Hello, hello, hello.

- Hello. - Hey there.

- Hi, Ethan. - Hi.

I'm Eve Stone, and this is our founding partner Rayna Bradshaw.

Lovely to meet you.

I know all about your work. Can I just tell you?

You're as stunning as you are brilliant.

Oh, thank you. Thank you.

Come on in and sit down.

So let's start from the beginning.

Absolutely.

I grew up in Westchester and I went to college at Middlebury.

I studied creative writing.

I did a bit of acappella with the premier group on campus.

Ethan, sorry.

I believe she meant the beginning of the tape.

Where the tape starts.

Duh! I live in Bed-Stuy which is a very diverse neighborhood.

Gentrifying very quickly.

Well, not if I can help it.

Um it was a typical day for me.

I was getting home from a fundraiser

where I heard Evon Max Kennedy speak

which was so illuminating.

I was really pumped up so I got to work

amplifying important voices and causes online.

After a grueling workout, with a couple of pals.

I feel like I had earned a little break

so I decided to take a stroll down memory

lane with one of our old romantic videos

we made back in March.

Sex...

And the romantic video is filmed at the exact date and time

- of the Darren Williams arrest? - Exactly.

Who is my slam piece?

That's you baby.

Holy shit.

Holy shit.

Fuck.

And that is when you reached out to us?

Yes.

As soon as I finished watching the tape I reached right out.

So when you finished?

And so I sent you the two screenshots which are basically

Exhibit A, Exhibit B. They completely exonerate Darren Williams.

Show those things, boom case fucking closed.

- W... Not exactly. - I know.

I believe we're going to need to see the video in full.

Yeah, for context.

Yeah, yeah.

That's no big deal.

Sure.

It's right on there.

Thank you.

We can just airplay it.

OK.

That's it.

Have you agreed to do this, babe?

- Put on some music? - Sure.

You want it in there?

- Oh, yeah. - Yeah?

Just give me a couple of miuntes here.

Wow.

Oh, goodness.

I'm sorry is that a lower back tattoo.

- And what does that say? - Fat.

It says fate.

Oh, that's nice. Thanks.

It's the Fresh Prince photo.

Fuck yeah.

Can we maybe just close the blinds first?

Oh, there it is.

Is that it?

OK.

Look.

He trips and falls and Darren's hands are still up.

This destroys cops the entire narrative.

This makes the case.

This is it. This is amazing.

Wow, OK. Um.

So. so sorry.

Just for some clarity here, is this

going to be shown in court?

This video, like open court?

Oh, but don't worry, no.

People have seen worse. Seriously.

They see dead bodies, maimed bodies...

Oh. Oh, rats.

I just remembered something.

You know how badly I want to help

but I don't have Vanessa's consent to show this video.

And she and I actually broke up.

I don't think it's fair to trigger her by bringing

this all up again and...

I totally understand.

I will call her for you.

Yeah, yeah.

Handled.

Who is my slam piece?

It's you baby.

Yeah, do you like that? It's just sex, right?

It's just the birds and the bees.

Do you know what I mean?

It's funny.

Porn gives people such a distorted mental image of sex.

Right.

This is what it's supposed to look like.

Sure.

- She's in. - Oh, fantastic.

- Great. - OK.

- Contact him for us. - OK.

Hey, maybe we could just play devil's advocate for a second.

Darren Williams, he's a bit of a complicated guy, right?

I mean, he's got a criminal record?

Well, you know he's an activist

and lots of activists have criminal records.

Yeah. No, no, no, I have absolutely zero issue with it.

I think it's great to have a record. I ultimately wish

that I had a record. But I think...

I'm just wondering what the jury will think of that.

Oh, you don't have to worry about that.

We leave that to Eve.

Here's the thing, I can't believe

I'm even going to say this.

But everything I've been seeing on the news

I don't know that this is even going to make

that big of a difference.

I mean, do we even really trust the legal system here

in this messed up racist country?

I mean, it's saddening to say but maybe Malcolm was right.

Maybe the system is beyond saving.

Did Malcolm say that?

I've dedicated my entire life to the opposite belief.

Even what happened to anything for the cause.

Look I protest, I donate, I march regularly.

Thank you.

I really believe in my bones that Black lives matter.

They do.

It's just so much more than anything honestly.

But...

Ethan, I know you want to make a difference

and maybe this isn't how you imagined it.

But this is your chance to be a hero.

This is your chance to make a difference, a big difference in a man's life.

Ethan, this is your shot.

And Ethan, you are not throwing away your shot.

I'm not throwing away my shot.

I'll do it. OK.

Bravo.

We love you, Darren.

Hey, man I'm so sorry to bug you.

Um we actually haven't had a chance to meet yet

but I'm just a huge fan of your activism.

- You actually quote... - All rise.

All right, cool man. Thanks.

You may be seated.

Court is now in session.

You will hear sworn testimony from two heroic officers

who survived a brutal attack by the defendant.

And what will the defense offer you, a sex tape.

Well, if that is all that the defense is

going to bring to the table then we

will be forced to pick it apart frame by frame.

The prosecution and the defense agree on one thing,

this case is all about the evidence.

What you see will shock

you, it will disgust you, but if you are truly brave enough

to look really carefully you will see

something equally upsetting.

Injustice.

Ethan, the police report states that Darren Williams was

on the corner of Wyeth and Jefferson at 4:10 PM,

can you confirm the location of your apartment?

Sure. I live on the corner of Wyeth and Jefferson

um right above the world's best bodega.

Now you happen to have your camera

on recording on that exact intersection at that exact time?

Yes.

Please prepare yourselves for what you're about to see.

I want you to focus on the tramp stamp... time stamp please.

We're in out about three minutes when the church bells start

to ring and the metadata confirms that it is 4:00 PM.

We can jump ahead to 13:32 and pause.

If you could just zoom in even more.

Yeah just even deeper, as deep as possible

on the incident... on the police incident please.

Thank you.

We see Darren Williams 4:10 PM on the dot.

Play please.

As you can see two officers approach Darren

and while his hands are still clearly raised,

the officer trips shattering his own elbow contradicting

their own statement that there was aggravated assault.

Now Ethan, does that look like my client assaulting somebody to you?

Hard no.

This tape is unequivocal evidence

that the police lied about this incident

and continue to lie about it to this day.

So Ethan, what led to your decision

to masturbate to this sex tape?

I guess I was lonely and I had some work I

was avoiding doing so I was procrastinating, I guess.

So the woman on the tape identified as Vanessa Delacorte is... um...

well, there's really no other way

to say this... much more attractive than you?

Objection. Opinion not fact.

Overruled.

I'll allow it as fact.

Had you two had sex before?

Yeah, obviously.

And she willingly engaged in that again.

- Uh-huh. - 7:47 please.

I mean, you can see he is completely

missing her entire area there.

17:12, zoom in. Yes.

- And how old are you Ethan? - Twenty nine.

Twenty nine years old.

And yet that is clearly the scrotum of a much older man.

Left testicle almost twice the size of the right testicle.

It's just really... it's just not adding up, is it?

Now you have a lot of Black friends,

- don't you Mr. Streiber? - Yeah, of course. A ton.

Well, is it possible that the man in the purple hoodie

could be one of your friends, perhaps a fellow crisis actor?

Crisis actor?

Finally, tell us Ethan, what is the name of the folder

that you keep this video in?

Unreal.

And what is the connection of the content of Unreal?

That's album in my phone where I keep all my...

everybody's got that place where they keep

all the stuff that gets you...

- Fantasies? - Yeah, yeah. Exactly.

That maybe never happened, that are maybe unreal...

Are they going to believe this video was fake?

... which is more likely?

A man who looks like this who had sex with a woman who

looks like that in the most profoundly

bizarre manner or a millennial incel who is so desperate to be

a hero to his progressive peers that he might have fabricated

a deepfake that is exactly what he says it is, Unreal?

So here's how we're going to bring Darren home,

we're going to open up your entire phone for everybody to see.

Every picture, every video, everything you've ever searched.

We're going to call on your exes.

That's how we're going to paint a complete picture of Ethan Streiber.

No, no. no. I'm just feeling... I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm feeling uncomfortable. OK.

I don't like that I've become this like white Savior figure in this trial.

I don't think that's appropriate.

This should be about you ladies and Darren. Right?

I... I just don't think that I should be centered in this

narrative. Okay. I need to just remove myself. Okay...

Oh, God.

I feel so much better this is the right move ultimately

I think. You know my e-therapist keeps telling me I need

to listen to the physical sensations in my body.

So you fantastic ladies are going

to return to doing what you're doing best

and I will go back to doing what I do best...

donating, protesting, marching.

Ethan, no. All right.

We are in too deep to turn back now, OK?

Either you let us open up the Unreal folder...

and yeah it's embarrassing... or Darren Williams goes

to prison for 15 years.

It's time to pick a side Ethan.

Are you with us or not?

I now enter into evidence the entire contents

of Ethan Streiber's phone.

Please brace yourselves.

I'm now opening the folder, Unreal.

Let the record show 47 homemade videos and 650 still

images and screenshots, some dating

back as far as seven years all establishing a relevant pattern

that the sex you saw on tape

was consistent with his behavior and proclivities.

I now call to the stand Vanessa Delacorte, the woman

who appeared in the video.

Please proceed whenever you're ready Ms. Delacorte.

It's difficult for me to be here today

and to expose this chapter of my life to the public.

But I do it to shed light on an important issue larger than myself.

How our society gaslights insecure young women

that they should be with white men who have nothing

to offer them but unearned status, privilege, and arrogance.

I am here today to tell the world I am not

the woman you saw on that tape.

Not anymore.

Thank you Ms. Delacorte.

Let's just get to it, shall we?

Did Ethan ever make you orgasm?

Never.

And would you be the type to fake it?

He wouldn't have noticed.

So could the screams on the tape have been coming from Ethan?

He made more of a grunting sound like a car that couldn't start.

Would you be so kind as to demonstrate that for the jury?

It's soon, it's soon, it's soon...

It's soon, it soon, it soon...

It's soon, it soon, it's soon...

It's soon it's soon it's soon

It's now.

A pattern emerges.

He did this thing with his arms.

This weird thing with his arms.

A clear pattern.

And what songs did he play?

It was always the same song...

Back That Ass Up.

We rarely made it past Back That Ass Up.

What did he call you?

He called me slam piece.

- Slam piece. - Slam piece.

This is my slam piece.

So a pattern.

I am Ethan's doctor.

He has visited me for many STD scares over the years.

Most imagined several real.

And yes this indeed is his real scrotum.

The man on the tape, is the real Ethan Streiber.

I never forget a scrotum like that.

Thank you, Doctor.

No further questions.

Now, you're not a licensed therapist, is that correct?

Right.

I'm a team member at your ecouncillor.

And you might have some insight into Ethan Streiber's psychology?

Again, I'm a team member.

I handle a lot of people.

Well, I went through more than 10,000 of Mr. Streiber's tweets

and I just want to understand the psychology and credibility

of that type of individual.

This one calls for abolishing the police.

This one calls from our law enforcement

at a Tame Impala show.

Never trust the government, never

trust the pharmaceutical industry,

and then the government is doing an amazing job

rolling out the vaccine.

You're an idiot if you don't get it.

This one says MJ is the GOAT, this one

says LeBron is the GOAT.

We can't have two GOATs.

And what do you all think of this one?

"Maybe more cops will go to jail if they

didn't put the stupidest people in America on juries."

I shouldn't of taken this case.

Why did you want this case so badly?

It... It just cut through my inbox.

You know.

There's two types of tapes that go around, right?

There's the "stop what you're doing,

you have to watch this video."

And then there's the "stop what you're doing

you have to watch this video."

I thought the people that tuned these things out

might pay attention if it was the kind of ridiculous video

they watch every day.

I had this big ridiculous dream that I could change things,

that I could make a difference, and I took this big swing

and now real people are caught up in my mistake.

The jury just thinks he's a woke ally

or whatever he's not even that guy.

I get that you are supposed to learn from your mistakes

but it is not fair that people have to pay for mine.

You know what's funny?

No.

The worst this case goes the more I believe in you.

What does that mean?

I can see your ambition.

I can see your heart.

You know...

Sometimes pressure brings out who people really are.

I don't think so.

What's up, Dad?

Tom Brady after every game he reviewed the game tapes.

See what went wrong, what could have gone better,

look I just want to say I'm proud of you.

You're going to get better to.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

It leaked. Oh shit.

Yo all the porn sites are shutting down.

There's no one going to trying to beat their meat to this.

All of a sudden you get home, hop on p-hub, they

got the social justice category right above step up.

I love those guys.

I'm about to make this shit light up Tik-Tok right now.

I don't even want to see a dance move based on the shot.

Fuck.

I got a small penis on how to plump it like a Reebok.

On the bridge he's like, Black Lives Matter.

A police incident. A sex tape. And a highly unusual scrotum.

I'm Michael, this is the daily.

The tape leaked.

Who leaked it?

Your office had it?

Who would leak it?

W... What the hell this turning into?

I didn't want to be a famous case.

- Darren. - What?

I need you to trust me on this.

I got this.

Then get it.

How would the defense like to proceed?

Your Honor, the defense would like

to recall Ethan Streiber back to the stand.

What the fuck?

Ms. Stone, you've already examined this witness.

I know Your Honor and I would not do this if it wasn't serious.

The defense believes the witness may have perjured himself.

Very well.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Ethan do you know why I've called you

back up to the stand?

There's a pattern of discrepancies

between who you say you are and who you really are.

You went to the women's march and yet

we all saw how you talked to Vanessa.

I'll strive to do better.

Under oath you said you had and I quote,

"A ton of Black friends."

Sick. Yes, I do.

Why would I apologize for that?

Ethan, can you name a single black friend of yours?

Yeah. Can I, yes. Um...

Joe.

Joe from my building.

Let's see FM, he's my...

from the fund.

Ethan we have the entire contents of your phone

entered into evidence.

Would I find either of those two numbers on there?

I'm sure. On a group text maybe.

What about you? You're my friend.

Ethan I'm not your friend.

OK, you know what?

You know what? All I wanted to do is help. Okay.

And everybody is just...

everybody is just making it impossible. Okay.

Everybody is dragging me for not being a perfect person.

I've really done everything I can think of to do.

I posted that black square, I deleted that black square,

I reposted the black square, and then I

redeleted the black square.

And literally nothing is ever enough. Okay.

And everyone on all sides is just

destroying me to show how good they are.

Well, how am I supposed to get a job after this?

Hm? You ever thought of that?

How am I ever going to get a date after this?

Do you realize how deeply fucked up this is for me.

Language.

No, no, no, no. This system is fucked up.

You know what? Actually, actually both systems are fucked up.

The justice system wants to fuck people like Darren.

And the social justice system wants to fuck people like me.

And I'm not perfect.

Did I ever say that I was perfect?

I am so deeply fucked up in a myriad of fucked up ways

just like everybody fucking in this room is.

But I try so hard.

I really try all the time to do the right thing

but it seems like the harder I try the more

I just get incessantly shit on.

So forget it.

I quit, it's all over, fuck this court, fuck this system,

and fuck this woke bullshit.

The defense rests.

Witness dismissed.

It must be nice to be able to get that man.

Has the jury reached a verdict?

Your Honor, the jury finds the defendant not guilty.

Yeah. Yes.

Yes.

Is that what it took?

Y'all wouldn't be here if it wasn't for that tape.

Is that what it takes?

Is that what it takes like seriously?

Do these videos have to be more obscene every time?

More shocking every time?

I just want to take this time to thank my lawyer Eve Stone,

I want to thank the judge, I want

to thank the jury, the bailiff, the stenographer, and Jesus.

I want to thank Jesus...

- Sketch? - The sketch artist.

I want to thank...

I want to thank you all for having to sit through all that.

Wow.

I got to thank my aunt, she came through everyday...

That's a great speech.

I didn't make it in but...

Ethan, you know he's grateful to you too.

You said I'd be a hero for this.

I didn't say you'd look like one.

This is just the beginning.

I'm never going to forget any of this.

While I have you attention, I guess it really just comes down to this.

In the sex tape that is life always

remember there's probably somebody getting screwed

even harder out of frame.

Wow.

And not everybody has a tape like this.

As a matter of fact, not anybody has a tape like this.

Nicely done.

- Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -