Original subtitles

- Meanwhile, Pepper goes into her hooker act.

- Look at this way.

Where else can you get paid so good for

lying down on the job?

- $200,00?

You're insane.

- Everybody seems to agree on that.

- Just exactly what kind of work are you into?

- I'm a specialist in sexual dysfunction.

- Police! Freeze!

Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

- And politics, while naturally important to me,

reads second.

And I'll be honest with all of you.

A very distant second to my true love, my family.

And now I'd like you to meet

my beautiful wife of 10 years,

the mother of our three children,

Renee.

This prerecorded message paid for

by the Andrews for Governor Committee.

- Miss Hilary LaSalle's residence.

Yes, she is.

Just a moment, please.

- In fact, if I was doing your office.

No, no, no, no.

Michael?

He's really nice...

- Mr. Andrews, what a pleasant surprise.

- I had some spare time this evening

and I thought that perhaps Lorelei might be available.

- Lorelei?

Lorelei has an engagement.

Maybe Dani Summers might.

- No, it must be Lorelei.

- Very well.

Tomorrow evening then.

Discipline?

8:30.

8:30 would be just fine.

Goodnight.

Sleep warm.

Pep, will you hurry with the pants?

They're gonna be here in a minute.

- I know, I'm trying, Bill.

I'm not very good at this, I told you.

Sure glad I found my old sewing kit, though.

Oh, it looks great!

I love yellow and white, it's fantastic.

Uh, Merry Christmas?

- You know how hard it is to find a sign

that says happy six years on the force, Pep?

- I'll buy that.

Besides, that's all they had.

- Where are we gonna get a tree?

Oh.

There's that sewing kit.

I'll hurry, Bill, I'm sorry.

- Anyway, like I was tryin' to tell ya,

I'll pick you up at 3:30 tomorrow.

- Tomorrow?

- Is there an echo in here?

- Tomorrow is a legal holiday.

I'm not going near the department.

- See, what did I tell ya, huh?

Well.

Don't let 'em in.

Fix the pants, don't let 'em...

- What am I gonna tell 'em?

That I moved?

Happy anniversary!

- Oh, you weren't supposed to bring any presents.

Oh, how chic, Crowley.

- How are you feeling?

Gee, your momma dresses you funny.

- Hi, how are you?

Oh, I told you no presents.

- Um...

Excuse me.

Is this, ah, ah, these yours, William?

- No, ah, it's, ah, nothing.

- Yeah.

- Well if we interruptin'.

- I'm fixing it.

See, the zipper broke.

- I broke my zipper, okay?

- I understand.

If we interruptin', we'll, you know...

- No, I'm almost finished.

Harriet, come over here.

Let's get our food.

You waitin' for a bus?

- Hey, William, do me a favor, will ya, please?

What?

- Save me the last waltz.

- Uh, Pep?

Listen, I got the deviled eggs.

They're all cooling.

Anyway, wait on the beef stroganoff.

You're gonna lose your pants.

Don't eat too many of those.

Harriet.

- Sorry I don't have any caviar,

but you know how it is.

- Will you sit down, please, honey?

Please hurry with the pants.

- I'm trying.

I'm not very good at this.

- All right, now about tomorrow.

- Read my lips.

I am off, off.

- Diamonds, diamonds, lots of diamonds.

- I'm on.

- That's what I thought.

I'll pick you up at 3:30.

I'll take you, take you personally to stolen property.

- Talk some more about the diamonds.

- Sit down.

- Convince me.

- We're gonna get diamonds and private property.

We're gonna get lots and lots of diamonds.

Diamond rings, diamond pins, diamond brooches.

- More, more.

- Sew, sew.

- Then I got a little job... - Ouch!

- Don't bleed on the pants.

- I'm sorry.

- Then I got a little job for ya.

- Do I have to do it?

- Yes. - Okay.

- You and the diamonds are gonna pay a little visit

to Hilary LaSalle.

- Is that a name or an entry in the Grand Prix?

- That's a madame.

- Madame?

- Isn't that something for ad vice?

Ordinarily, yeah.

But in this case...

I bet I know who it is.

- Very interesting.

- Oh, thank you.

Come on in, everybody.

Oh, come, hi!

I didn't know you'd all show up.

- What?

- I don't care what anyone says.

You wear that.

- Yeah.

- Although I think a little hibiscus would be

very nice behind the left ear.

- Pep, I think there's ah,

Peter, I think there's a bowl of

avocado peanut butter over there.

- Oh, thank you kindly, sir.

- Hey, Pep?

- I think I love it the best of all.

Isn't this fantastic?

- Would you give it to Ilene?

- Oh, here, Ilene.

Would you put it over on the...

- Why don't you make yourselves some drinks.

I got something for your hostess to do.

Sit down and drink.

- All right, I'm trying.

- Now let's finish this.

- Okay, now you know what? - I'll talk and you...

- You're the hit of the party.

- Yeah?

- I've got some earrings upstairs

that would go great with that outfit.

- Earrings with a hibiscus?

Are you mad?

- Now what is that about madame?

- Yes, it's madame.

You're right.

Ordinarily it would be a job for ad vice.

But in this case there's a kicker.

Blackmail.

- Oh.

- We've got a letter today from a john

that said that Hilary LaSalle has been

taken him for a lot of bread.

- Who?

- Anonymous.

Why didn't we ask him to the party?

- I'll talk, you sew, okay?

- Anyway, we've lifted a full set of prints

from the letter and see how it checks out.

- Meanwhile Pepper goes into her hooker act.

- Look at it this way.

Where else can you get paid so good

for lying down on your job?

- Bad, bad.

- Green thread?

- It'll go with your earrings.

I gotta get the door.

- Who knows, maybe I'll get lucky.

Wrong.

- Evening, Crowley.

- Hey, Doc, how are ya?

Come on in.

Hi, Nellie.

Hey, good seein' ya.

Hey, how are ya?

- Are you wearing pantyhose, too?

- I warn ya, Doc.

One word, you're gonna be performing your own autopsy.

- Oh, no, no, no.

I wasn't going to say a thing, honestly.

Ma'am.

- Pepper!

Excuse me.

Pardon me.

- It's all right.

No, let's save the cake till later, all right?

That'd be nice.

It's delicious.

- Isn't that good?

- I got it over...

- Just give me the pants.

Pep, I don't care if they're...

- They're finished, they're finished.

Only trouble is the zipper works only one way.

- A Miss Van Buren to see you.

- Van Buren?

Not Dear Abby?

- No, Paula.

- Oh, oh yes, that's the girl that

Lucy Stone Cipher recommended.

- I don't like that Stone Cipher of woman.

She's got no class.

- Oh, Celia, don't be such a snob.

You can't judge our colleagues like that.

- She ain't no colleague of mine.

Here, let Miss Van Buren in.

- Miss LaSalle?

Miss Van Buren.

- Paula.

Oh.

- And it's Mrs.

- Ah, yes, Lucy did tell me you were married.

And she did say something very strange, too.

- Well, I'm not surprised.

Lucy's so dingy, what did she say?

- That you were happily married.

- Oh, well yes, that's true.

Whatever else Lucy is, she's a reliable gossip.

- I see.

Well, in my business that's good to know.

You do see why I thought it was strange, though.

- What, for a happily married woman

to want to do a little extracurricular hooking?

- Oh, please don't say that word.

It's horrendous.

Bad for the morale.

- Okay, what else do you call it?

- Moonlighting?

- Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm only available for day work.

- Oh, that's too bad.

- Why?

- Well, we cater to the tired businessman,

and they usually only get tired around, oh well,

when the sun's over the yard arm.

- I see you've known a few sailors.

- Yachtsmen, honey.

There's a difference.

It's called Dun and Bradstreet.

Have you ever been a working girl?

- On the street?

- I mean on call.

- No.

To tell you the truth,

this would be, if you would pardon the expression,

my maiden effort.

Of course once in awhile there's been

a little quid pro quo maybe for

a couple of weeks in the Caribbean, that sort of thing,

but no, no money ever changed hands, no.

- Then why now?

- Bills.

I'm afraid I'm a credit card junkie.

My husband's a customer's man.

Good address, big front,

but you know how the stock market's been lately.

- Those diamonds are not exactly chopped liver.

- Those diamonds are not exactly paid for.

We were sinking very quietly and, uh,

somebody had to do something.

- What about your husband?

- He won't know.

And he knows better than to ask.

- Well, then I guess we're set.

Just one little formality.

This is Jule.

- How do you do?

- Jule Buck.

He's our security officer.

And he doubles in brass sometimes, too.

He helps me with recruiting.

I do the office interview.

And he does the field test.

You'll be graded on attitude, aptitude,

enthusiasm, coordination,

physical ability, and well maybe most important of all,

imagination.

Our clientele is very discerning.

They pay us very well for our services

and we don't want to disappoint them.

I'm sure you understand.

- Oh.

- Well, Jule.

- Sure, Hilary.

But if you want me to be here for your friend's appointment,

you gotta remember, these things take time.

- Oh yes, I forgot the appointment.

Mr. P.

Well, I want you here for that one.

How about tomorrow afternoon, same time?

- Oh, perfect.

I'll be here.

- Here, I'll show you out.

- I know the way.

- 12Y50, 12Y50.

- 50, yeah what's up, Pep?

- Well, A, it was fun.

B, it's a fancy house.

Accent fancy.

C, she's a madame all right.

The whole thing's a real Park Avenue operation.

And footnote, I passed the office interview.

- I never doubted you would.

Pep, you came through loud and clear on the far-go.

- Then you know all I have left is the field test.

Yeah, how about that?

- Hey, Bill, come to think of it,

if that 250 pound beach boy hadn't had an appointment,

you'd a let me go through with it, wouldn't you?

- Well you know, Pep,

it's probably just as well he was busy because

that'll give us a chance to get together tonight

and concentrate on your aptitude,

coordination, physical ability,

and most especially your imagination.

What do you say?

- I don't think I'm gonna have to work too hard

on my imagination.

Too bad you couldn't see that gorgeous

hunk of beach boy on your far-go.

- Pepper, listen.

Pete called in.

The prints on the blackmail note have been

traced to a banker named Cromwell.

- Yeah?

They're bringing 'em in.

I'll race you back to the farm.

- Mr. Patri?

You people just don't know how to take no for an answer.

- And you people just don't understand

the advantages of doing business with us.

- Advantages?

We do all the work and you get half the money?

What's the advantage of that?

- Protection.

You see, with us, you never have to worry about the heat.

- Oh come on.

You've been watching the Late Show again.

That was a bad line when Bogie said it.

Of course you wouldn't know that.

You were just a kid

strong-arming blonde pencil peddlers.

- Oh, Hilary, Hilary, Hilary.

You know,

you got a beautiful, beautiful set of caps.

Now how would you like to pick 'em up

out of the carpet?

- Subtle, subtle.

Look, for the last time,

I do not want to put in with your organization.

I'm old-fashioned.

A small town Republican independent businesswoman.

I believe in free enterprise and I'm not greedy.

Good food, good fur,

a little travel and something to put aside

for my old age.

- Which you'll never see

if you don't get wise.

- Get out of here.

- Are you Sergeant Crowley?

That's right.

- My name is Cromwell.

I was told to come here.

- Yes, Mr. Cromwell, have a seat.

- Look, I have very little time.

- Yes, sir, I appreciate that,

so just take a seat, please.

This won't take long.

- Now what's this all about?

- Well, we'd like to talk to you

about this letter you sent us.

- What letter?

This letter.

- So?

I never wrote this letter.

I've never seen this before.

- Mr. Cromwell, you might as well have signed it.

Your fingerprints were all over the original.

- If I could have some water?

Oh, of course.

- Why didn't you sign this, Cromwell?

- Well, obviously, I,

I didn't want to get involved.

- Hello, darling.

How are you?

- Hello, Hilary.

- Draw me a bath, please.

I'll be up shortly.

- Oh, it's time for me to...

- Now listen.

The bus leaves every 20 minutes.

And by the way,

put back that piece of china before you leave.

It's a good thing she knows how to make a bed.

If she had to depend on her toting,

as my dear grandmother used to say,

she'd starve to death.

- Her stealing?

How about you, Hilary?

- I'm a businesswoman.

And you do have something for me, don't you?

Oh, don't get so panicky, Mr. Andrews.

There's nobody here but Dani, Lorelei and me.

The girls are all at the Excelsior.

- Big night on the town for your ladies.

- Well, a big space convention.

Your therapist is waiting.

This is enough for the treatment,

but nothing on account?

- On what account?

- On account of your campaign, Assemblyman.

- You seem to have all the answers.

- Your discipline tonight will be in the governor's suite.

You know where that is.

Why not aim for the top?

With your smile and my discretion,

you may make it yet.

- You've been such a bad boy.

- Hilary LaSalle's been blackmailing you.

- She had been, yes.

- What does she have on you, sir?

I mean, it's not uncommon for a banker

or a politician, businessman to frequent a brothel.

What does she have on you?

- I have a tendency towards masochism.

- I see.

I've heard that she specializes in offbeat sex.

- She has pictures.

Pathetic.

Grown man being beaten.

Enjoying it.

- Who did she plan to show these pictures to?

Your wife?

- My wife?

Yes.

You see, my wife was very ill these past few years.

She died recently

and it's over now.

- What would you like for us to do with

this information, Mr. Cromwell?

- I'm not the only one.

Hilary keeps a record.

A regular who's who in big business.

Names.

Dates.

Preferences.

- Trick book.

- What?

- They call it a trick book.

- This one must be worth a fortune.

- Yeah.

- Mr. Cromwell, would you be

willing to testify against her?

Before you answer that, let me tell you something.

Once you go into court,

all these details become a matter of public knowledge.

Would you be willing to testify?

- Yes.

- Well, Hil, old girl.

You may be damned,

but the road to hell is some kind of freeway.

What are you doing here?

Get out of here.

What are you doing?

Are you crazy?

Don't do that!

Ah!

Will you tell me exactly what did

take place when you got here this morning?

Well, I went to her bedroom.

I guess we'll never know how you

field test would turn out.

Stay on top of the ladies and when you get

that report you check back here, okay?

- Joe?

- Yeah, we talked to the security people.

They say anybody that anybody can get

in the service entrance.

All they needed was a key.

- Okay, if McKnight calls, I'll be in the back.

- I got it, man.

- One call, please.

Right away.

- Right away, yeah?

- Yeah.

- Did you suspect anything when you first got here?

I mean, was there anything unusual going on?

No, there wasn't.

- Didn't happen to find her trick book, did you?

- No.

There's these, though.

Looks like love notes.

Yeah.

- Typed love notes?

- Looks like they all look typed.

Maybe he had reason to type them.

- Neither of these have Hilary's name

and neither of them have signatures.

- Yeah, that's what this has, too.

This might be something.

A reference to an Emily as our friend,

Emily might've put it,

our love is like et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

- This one has a reference to an Emily, too.

It says I spent half the night talking about

you with Emily.

- Looks like he might've had another lady friend of sorts.

Confidante, whatever.

- Whatever.

- We better find out who Emily is.

- Well, you turned her up.

You find out who she is.

- How long have you been working for Miss LaSalle?

- About eight, nine months.

- How'd you meet her?

- One of the girls I was goin' with.

She introduced us.

- Who?

I asked you who.

- I don't remember.

- Will you tell us under oath?

- Hey, am I under oath?

That's Lorelei Frank, Hilary's star performer.

- Yes, after I finished, she had gone.

- Appointment?

- Patient, client, take your pick.

You mind if I smoke?

- Yes, I do.

- Well, that's too bad.

- They're gonna get you before I do.

- She's a real beauty, isn't she?

- Yeah.

- Just exactly what kind of work are you into?

I'm a therapist.

Oh yeah, far out.

Are you a therapist, too?

- Am I?

- She's what we call a lay therapist.

I'm a specialist in sexual dysfunction.

- And you have papers and diplomas.

- Oh, yes.

A BA in English Lit and a master's in Fine Arts.

- Your client, what was his name?

- I don't know.

- Yes, you do.

You know that cute one that...

- Our services are highly confidential.

They never reveal the correct name.

- Well, but surely you recognize your patients sometimes.

- Well, yes, but then we have to be discreet.

Ours is a business that is built on trust.

- We have some love letters to your boss.

You know anything about them?

- No.

You?

- No, no.

- See, in a couple of them there's a mention of an Emily.

You know an Emily?

- No.

- No, I never heard of one.

- Any other of her fellow therapists

or friends named Emily?

- None of them.

- I know this may seem a little hard to believe,

but Hilary didn't have very many friends.

At least none that we know about.

She was a very private person.

- I sure hope that blonde doesn't smoke.

I'd hate to see anything happen to her lungs.

- Look, how could I see her?

I was at the hotel all night.

- With the girls?

- Well, sort of like to protect them, you know?

I mean, some of these old goats,

they get a little enthusiastic.

I just stick around in case the girls need any help.

Hey, no strong arm stuff.

That went out with narrow lapels.

- Well, you must wear a lot of old clothes, buddy.

Says here that you were picked up

for aggravated assault eight months ago.

- Doesn't it also say that the collar didn't stick?

You could've left the hotel without

anybody knowing and returning.

Could you?

- Look, I was at the hotel.

- Okay.

What about the girls?

Were they all present and accounted for

at the hotel last night?

- Yeah, sure.

- Are you sure about that?

- No, wait a minute.

One of them was missin'.

- Emily?

- Emily who?

- Okay, who was it?

- Her Japanese girl, Princess Hanako.

Hey, it's just as well.

She's gettin' to be a royal pain anyway.

- Get both these tapes on paper as soon as possible.

- I doubt they'll tell us much.

- Well, this tells us we better start looking

for Miss Hanako.

- Princess.

- I'll bet.

- You see those biceps?

- Yeah, but he's got little feet.

The body of Hilary LaSalle,

one of California's most prominent

and successful madames was found submerged

in her bathtub.

Lying in the water next to her was a hair dryer

which someone had possibly tossed into the water.

The body was found at about 10 o'clock

this morning at LaSalle's plush establishment

in Wildwood Estates where the police are now

in the process of rounding up and questioning

all of the murdered madame's girls.

Miss Celia Jackson, the dead woman's maid,

arrived for work and brought a breakfast tray

up to the victim's bedroom.

Miss Jackson immediately phoned police.

Also being questioned is a bouncer named Julius Buck.

- I don't believe Buck's story.

Bill, what do you think?

- I think he'd have to be awfully stupid

to go knockin' Hilary off.

For him that was a pretty good job.

An awful lot of work, you know what I mean?

- Yeah, but did you see the reaction I got from him

when I talked to him about jumpin' out of the hotel?

- You gotta remember,

you're not dealing with a mental giant here.

His brains have slipped down to his deltoids.

- If you say so.

- Hey, listen.

Let's see what you can pick up on this Jule Buck.

Get in there and dig.

I just feel he knows a lot more than he's tellin' us.

- You got it.

Hey, Pep?

- Here, half a.

Have you noticed since women's lib

there are no clean cups?

- First Rose and now Hefney.

I think you're ready for a vacation.

Here, I'll take that.

- Oh.

- Would you settle for two weeks in Inglerod?

- Definitely.

- Or I got a freebie in the mail this morning

compliments of Pete Royster.

Dinner for two at the Apple Valley

Prune and Avocado Ranch Hill.

How about that?

- I hear it's pretty good.

Isn't that down the road from Dale and Roy?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, I'd like to go there sometime.

- Did you know that they had Trigger stuffed?

- With what?

Don't answer that.

Here's the lab report on the fingerprints

from the love letters.

Because of the porous nature of the paper,

no prints of sufficient quality emerged.

Smudges.

- That's great.

- And no Hanako, no Emily.

- Well, we're off to a flying stop.

What's your conclusion, Dr. Watson?

- Well, the problem is it's too simple.

The killer/thief was someone who was

being blackmailed by the victim

and wanted the book,

or by someone who wanted the book and the business.

- And?

- And what?

- The biggest prize of all.

The blackmailing concession.

- No!

No, I can't wait!

Now you've gotta get over here right now.

Listen, Jule, they're gonna be here any minute.

Now please, I have to see you now.

- Yeah, all right.

Yeah, cool it.

Just give me time to take a shower.

- She was married?

- Yes, married.

Now here's a trip.

Tell Bill that Jule Buck and Hilda Shlager,

AKA Hilary LaSalle,

were married last week in Reno.

Right.

Only they wanted to keep it a secret,

but they were partying with a couple of hookers

from their ranch at Searchlight

and the whole group was busted on disorderly conduct.

Some wedding party.

Hey!

Hey you!

Miss! Miss!

- Pete!

Pete, don't, don't yell.

- Officer!

This is really a trip, Pep.

I'm gonna get a parking ticket if I don't split.

- Wait a minute, don't hang up.

What did you find out about Princess Hanako?

- Uh, Japanese hooker.

Well, I just talked with the landlady

and she said that the last time she saw her

was yesterday at noon.

I gotta split, Pep.

I'll see ya.

Officer! Officer!

Lorelei?

- Well, well, if it isn't Mr. America.

- Where's Lorelei?

- She split.

- Where's the book?

- What book?

- What book.

Now look, don't play dumb with me, Muscles.

I want Hilary's trick book

and you know where she kept it.

- I don't know where it is,

and even if I did, you...

- Oh, oh, pardon me, Mr. Buck.

I'd like you to meet a couple of associates of mine.

This is Mr. Leary and Mr. Chaucer.

Gentlemen, do whatever's necessary.

- Oh!

Oh!

Ah!

- Hey, calm down.

Now where's the book?

Did you make him?

- Yeah, it's Buck, all right.

What about the other guy?

Man says no ID.

- Hey, Bill?

I got an idea.

Remember those Errol Flynn movies

where he and Basil Rathbone or Claude Rains

use to fence around the castle until one of 'em

would run out onto the balcony and dive into the moat?

- Yeah, my mother told me about 'em.

- Well, I figure that either Mr. X

or Buck was in there looking for something,

and Errol Flynn came in and caught him.

- Looking for what, Lorelei?

- Lorelei or the trick book

missing from Hilary's.

- Mmm-hmm.

Then what do you think happened?

- Well, I think they got into a fight

and they both took a dive into the dry moat.

What do you think?

- I think you OD'd on the late, late show.

Sergeant Crowley?

- Yeah.

- This is Sergeant Crowley.

This is Mr. Meservey.

He lives next door.

- How do you do, sir?

You live next door here, sir?

- Yes, right next door.

- Were you aware of any disturbance to this apartment?

- Oh, Lord, yes.

First I thought it was an earthquake.

I've been through three of those out here.

- Did you see anything?

- No, I was asleep during the big one in '71.

It threw me out of bed.

- No sir, I mean did you see any part of the fight?

- No, I stood under an archway until it was all over.

They say it's safer under an arch.

- Uh, yeah.

- Did you see anything here?

Later, like out in the hall?

- Oh, well I did open the door, yes.

And two men were runnin' towards the stairs.

- Can you describe them?

- One was big and ugly.

The other one slighter, but he was better dressed,

and had a piece of tape across his nose.

- Here.

- No, it was in Long Beach.

We were livin' in Long Beach when the earthquake

hit in '33.

Oh, now there was really a day to remember.

We all went down to the beach to watch the tidal wave.

I mean, standin' on a high dune, of course.

Yeah, yeah.

- How are ya, Albert?

You're looking very well with your long lashes

and kind of the ears and looking very tall.

- Eglash?

- Micheal Eglash.

Private investigator, retired.

At your service.

My friends call me Mike.

- I don't like this.

- What?

- Meeting in the open.

- Grass, fresh air, friends,

reptilian and otherwise.

Don't talk back to 'em.

Perfect place for meditation.

Besides, doctor's orders since the pacemaker.

Make yourself comfortable.

This is my office.

Now, what can I do for you, sir?

- I want Hilary LaSalle's trick book

before the police and the newspapers get it.

And you said on the phone you could help me.

Somebody has that book and I want it.

I want it very much.

- How very much?

$10,000, possibly?

Mmm.

I just may be able to help you.

- I'll go around the other side.

You take this side.

Miss Summers?

- That's it.

Keep comin'.

Get right over, that's good.

Come on.

- What do you want?

- Miss Summers, you're a material witness.

Now I warned you not to change addresses

without notifying us.

What the hell are you doing on this boat?

- I'm not changing addresses,

I'm just hidin' out on my friend's boat.

After Jule was murdered, I got scared.

You can understand that, can't you.

- What makes you think he was murdered?

- Because somebody threw him off that balcony.

Jule would never kill himself, never.

- Well, do you think that same somebody

might've been looking for Hilary's trick book?

- I don't know anything about that.

- You wouldn't happen to have it, would you, Miss Summers?

- I told you I don't know anything about that.

- Tell us what happened to Lorelei.

- I don't know what happened to Lorelei.

I don't, I don't know anything about her.

What about this Japanese girl Hanako?

Where's she?

- She had a beef with Hilary.

- About what?

- I don't know.

- Do you know an Emily?

- Emily?

Everybody keeps asking me about a Emily.

I don't know any Emily.

This is 10853 Delaware, isn't it?

- Who are you and what do you want?

I know who I am.

I also know you're not Celia Jackson.

- Hey, look.

Why don't you ask one of the other girls, huh?

- Because you were Lorelei's best friend.

- I wasn't her best friend.

We were just friends.

- Where is she from?

- I don't know, back east somewhere.

- Where?

- Vermont, Massachusetts.

One of those college towns.

- Wellesley, Bennington, where?

- I don't remember.

- Miss Pierce, isn't it?

I was married after that.

- Whatever your name is, that's not important.

What is important is that, uh,

may I?

That history has a nasty habit of repeating itself.

Criminal psychologists call it recidivism.

Just means that a crook...

- I ain't no crook.

- No.

I've heard that somewhere before.

Well, it doesn't matter.

You see, a crook commits the same crime

over and over again.

As a group, criminals don't have much imagination.

- Mr. English...

- Eglash.

- It's gettin' late.

I wish you'd get out of here.

- Oh, this won't take long.

Where's the book?

- She was broke and she was drinking

pretty heavily when we met.

So I showed her how to do a few tricks

and she learned really fast.

- She probably had a natural aptitude and imagination.

That's hard to come by.

- Anyway, then we went with Hilary

and Lorelei began to specialize.

You know, handle the kinkier tricks.

The ones who were into pain.

- Did she discuss her tricks with you?

- Oh yeah, she talked about 'em.

She even laughed about 'em.

She thought they were stupid and ridiculous.

She even thought they were pathetic.

But you know what?

I think she liked that.

I think she liked hurting,

a little bit anyway.

- Did she ever mention any names to you?

- Oh yeah, sure.

She talked about The Snake and Baby Blue Eyes.

- Dani, we need real names.

- You never use real names.

That's no-no number one.

- Several years ago,

almost 20 in fact, this colleague, now deceased,

then living in Chicago,

had a very interesting case.

He was hired by a prominent brothel keeper

to recover her stolen trick book.

It turned out to be in the possession

of a young black maid who had been sacked

by the madame for pilferage.

Her name was Sarah Pierce.

- I wasn't busted for that.

- Oh, I know.

The madame had a forgiving heart.

She didn't relish the publicity,

but she did make it clear that you were

to get out of Chicago.

Right, Sarah?

- All right, about this Hanako, the Japanese girl.

Where is she?

- Hanako?

Oh, you don't think she really had

anything to do with it, do you?

- She's gone.

You told me she had a beef with Hilary.

- Hey, look.

I don't know what it was about.

I don't know anything about any of this.

But whoever it is may think I do.

I'm scared.

Can I leave town?

Get out of here, go back home?

- Miss Summers, you're material witness.

I'm taking you into protective custody.

I want you available.

- I'm looking for a missing trick book.

It would be worth, say, $2000 to me, no questions asked.

- You must be crazy, man.

Insane.

- Most people think so.

$2000, I'm willing to pay for it.

There are others, I'm sure,

are quite willing to kill for it.

Good day, Sarah.

- Who is it?

- Evelyn and her magic violin.

You wanna fiddle around?

- Come on in.

If I'd a known you were coming,

I'd a put on something decent.

- You kidding?

This is the last place that...

- Never mind.

- What you up to?

- Homework.

- I should think you'd know these things by heart by now.

- Love letters.

A painting by a missing witness.

There's something here, Bill.

We just haven't found it yet.

- Like what, like Emily?

- For one.

Department shrink come up with anything?

- Are you kidding?

All they ever come up with is bad toilet training.

- Oh, ye of little faith.

- But we have.

- Faith?

- Nope.

We have come up with something.

A little information.

- Well, go, what are you expecting?

A famine?

- We have identified the hood who fell off the balcony

with Jule Buck.

- Well, go on.

- Should be worth a drink or something, shouldn't it?

- So far you've only earned a root beer.

- He was a syndicate soldier.

One of Leo Patri's troops.

- Five bedrooms, a huge pool,

a rumpus room that makes a polar lounge look like a wet bar.

Almost room for a tennis court.

Yeah, it's a beauty, Mrs. Gayling.

And we can whittle him down on the price.

He's in the middle of a terrible divorce.

Good.

I'll have Susan pick you up in the morning at 9:30.

Not even married.

Yes, Lois.

My wife called?

What else?

Sergeant Anderson?

Tell my wife I'll call her back.

Send him in.

Cops here.

- Brinker, I'm Sergeant Anderson.

You're?

I just said to Lois out there, send him in.

- It happens all the time.

I'm sorry I've kept you waiting.

- That's all right.

Coffee?

- No, thank you.

- How about some yogurt?

You know, it's good for my ulcers.

And it doesn't taste too bad, either.

- No thank you.

- I've got strawberry, raspberry...

- I don't care for anything, thank you.

You sure?

- I'm on duty.

- Oh, what can I do for you?

- I need your help, your expertise.

- My expertise?

I've been accused of a lot of things in my time,

but being an expert was not one of them.

- I hear quite the opposite,

that you're one of the most knowledgeable men

in the business.

And Mr. Brinker, I am working on the LaSalle murder case,

and I need some...

- Mmm, oh yes, a madame.

- Yes.

- Look, I get around a little,

but I haven't met that particular lady.

- No, that's...

- Are you sure you don't want some yogurt?

You know, you look like a pineapple girl.

- No, thank you very much.

I'll tell you what I do want, though.

It's, I have a painting here.

- Yeah.

- This is done by one of Miss LaSalle's girls, we think.

- Oh.

- And it's possible she also has been murdered.

Now it may be nothing, but...

- But you like to check into everything.

That's right.

I don't know it.

It's not us.

- Us?

- Southern California.

This area is choked with ersatz styles.

Ersatz Spanish, Chateau, Tudor.

Even ersatz ersatzs.

This particular type, with these double chimneys,

square cupula, general feel,

I doubt you'd find it anywhere within

a thousand miles of here.

For one thing, it's built for cold winters.

- Well, we've had a few.

All right, Mr...

- You know, Sergeant, I could be wrong.

I'm more of a hustler than an expert,

but I've got a brother-in-law,

Morris the architect, a pain in the...

You should excuse the expression,

but a brilliant guy.

Maybe if I show this to him, you know?

- I'd appreciate it.

- Can I keep this?

- Yes, we have copies.

Thank you.

- Ugh, did you make that?

- Yeah.

But you drink too much coffee anyway.

It's bad for your liver.

Why don't you try some yogurt?

- There's not enough caffeine in yogurt.

- Listen, tell me, do I look like a pineapple girl?

- Uh, well, I don't know.

If I had to describe you in fruity terms,

I might say some tomato

or bananas, for sure.

Pineapple, never.

Why?

- Uh, it's not important.

I dropped off the picture.

- Oh, what did the guy say?

- He'll show it to his experts and get back to us.

- Mmm.

Crowley, yeah?

Aberduce Canyon?

Huh, okay, listen.

Get us a chopper, will ya?

Seymour, we'll pay for it.

When?

Never mind.

We could drive to Tahoe by then.

- Go powder your nose.

We're gonna take a little trip to the desert.

- How come we never get to go to Lake Tahoe?

What was she doing out here in the middle of nowhere?

How the hell do I know?

The DMV says the car's registered to Lorelei Frank.

Are you sure you know where you're going?

Do I always?

- According to the map, we've already passed it.

- Probably got it upside down.

Couldn't of passed it, there'd be a sign.

- Maybe it blew down.

- Maybe.

Hey, here we go.

What'd you find?

A sign.

Which way was it pointing?

I don't know.

I'll tell you in a minute.

Mmm-hmm.

It's pointing that way.

- How do you know?

- Well, because in these canyons,

the wind always blows from the west.

You can tell by the way the sign is weathered

it was pointing that way.

- You're a regular Sherlock Holmes.

- That's right.

Besides, I've been here before.

Sergeant Crowley.

- Sergeant, I'm Butch.

Partner's Ramirez.

Hi, Butch.

Sergeant Anderson.

- Hi.

Eh, look at that.

Yup.

How'd you guys end up out here in the first place?

- We weren't.

Chopper spotted it about a couple hours ago.

They called us, we called your office.

Found this near the car.

- Was there anybody in there?

- Nah, no bodies.

- Nobody, huh?

- Nah.

- Nobody around at all?

- A lot of blood on the floor and on the front seat.

That's about it.

You want to take a look?

Ah, Bill?

Yeah?

- Just come here a second.

- I'll be right down.

What?

- What does this look like to you?

- Let's see.

Looks like a buckle on one of my shoes.

No, no way, not one of your shoes.

This is a very expensive buckle

off a handmade Italian loafer.

We know any hoods around here who would

wear shoes like that?

- What about our fancy dresser Leo Patri?

- Patri?

Patri, now what did Pete say about...

- Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

Yeah?

- The other night.

Didn't he say somebody spotted Patri in a nightclub?

- That's right.

And he had a bandage just like this across

the ridge of his nose.

Yeah, that's the bandage.

- Try this on for size.

You remember the guy next door to Lorelei Frank's apartment?

- The earthquake friend.

- Yeah.

My buddy?

- Yeah.

- Didn't he say that one of the hoods

running down the hall

had a bandage across the ridge of his nose?

- I wonder if Leo is missing a buckle.

- Let's go look at the car.

- Your money.

First the merchandise.

- I want five.

- I said two, two thousand.

- It could be worth 10 times that.

- Could be worth a ticket to the morgue.

- Five.

- Three.

- Three.

- What are you gonna do with all this money?

- Go away.

- To Chicago?

Sarah?

I would've given you the five.

- Yeah.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, Eglash.

Yeah, I get the word that he's had,

hey, hey, easy, easy.

I get the word he's had some conversations

with Hilary LaSalle's maid.

Uh-huh.

Maybe you should find out why.

Okay, later.

- Channing Andrews here.

Eglash here.

Our labors have been rewarded.

- Got it?

Yes.

- Where are you?

- Oh, that's not important.

- When can we meet?

- As soon as we can have a new understanding.

- What new understanding?

We have a deal.

- Well, yes and no.

- $10,000.

I have the cash.

- 20 times that.

- $200,000?

You're insane.

- Everybody seems to agree on that.

Crazy, maybe, but not stupid.

You know, Hilary LaSalle's style is not

unlike that of Truman Capote.

And when she describes your sexual peculiarities,

good old Marky must be spinning in his grave.

Mr. Andrews, I underestimated you.

- Eglash.

That's enough.

- Then there's the bishop.

- I don't want to hear that.

- The chairman of the board.

Well, and the fellow who produces the children's pictures.

- Will you please stop?

- I consider myself a worldly man,

but this little treasure trove has opened my eyes too late.

My pacemaker couldn't take it.

I'd blow a fuse.

Too late, too late.

$200,000.

- That's a small fortune.

- I'm not a greedy man.

A small fortune's all I ever aspired to.

- I don't have that kind of money.

I know that.

- I can't raise that kind of money.

- A future governor?

You underestimate yourself.

- May I speak to Sergeant Anderson, please?

Oh, she's not?

Well, this is Celia Jackson.

Would you give her a message for me?

- Audrey hangs out at a place called the Frontenac.

I hear he's a sucker for a pretty ankle.

- An ankle man.

Oh, what a change.

- Eh, some girls like their share of the bod.

Hey, Joe.

- Hey, William.

- Got anything?

- Pepper, just got a call from Celia Jackson.

She's leaving town.

She thinks she knows who wrote those love letters.

- Who?

- She didn't say.

- I think she wants to sell the information.

- Mrs. Jackson?

Mrs. Jackson?

Mrs. Jackson?

- Mrs. Jackson?

- Bill.

- Yeah?

- Good morning.

- Morning.

Hey, get me a cup of coffee, will ya, please?

How'd you make out with the real estate guy?

- Nothing on the house.

Those LaSalle letters I must've read a couple dozen times.

- And?

- Nothing.

At least I'm consistent.

- Well...

What do you say we try a different tact?

- Leo Patri.

- Very good.

- I get to meet him.

- That's right, you get to meet him.

- Every day about four o'clock he heads

over to the Frontenac hotel gym for a workout.

Then he takes a dip in the pool

and then he looks for a little action.

- And I'm it.

- Who looks better in a bikini?

- You do.

- Actually, that's true.

But I don't think I'm his type.

- And I suppose I get to go in alone again?

- Nope.

I got Barbara Stern and Mickey from vice.

They're gonna go in with ya.

Also, I sprang Paul Roberts from robbery homicide

and Lee Adam from ad narc.

They're gonna make like a couple of johns.

- He's cute.

- Who's cute?

- Both of 'em.

Here, have some more jam.

- Thank you.

Yeah, Crowley.

Yeah.

Spell that.

I-C-H-I?

R-O-S-H, Shirato?

Yeah, great.

Okay.

That was Hughes.

We got a lead on Hanako, the missing Japanese hooker.

Where are the guys?

- Pete's having breakfast at Joe's.

- At Joe's?

What's the matter with you this morning?

You're all out of sorts.

- Nobody offered me any breakfast.

- How about half a bagel?

- Thanks, a half.

- Hello?

Oh hi, Bill, how are you?

- I'm fine.

The question is how are you?

- Well, I was due day before yesterday.

Which means it'll probably come

sometime next month.

- Is Joe there, honey?

- Oh yeah, sure.

Hold on a moment.

Joe?

- Yeah.

- It's Bill, honey.

- Bill who?

- Mmmwah.

Thank you.

Yeah, William, what is it?

- Listen.

I just got a call from Hughes in intelligence.

Princess Hanako, that's right.

She's been spotted holing up in an apartment

at 535 Fifth Street.

It's rented by a cousin of hers.

A guy named Ichiro Shirato.

- Hi, we're with the police department.

I'm Investigator Royster and this is...

- Styles.

Investigator Styles.

- We're here looking for your cousin, Hanako Shirato.

Cousin?

- You don't speak English?

Hey.

It's the LA Times, Pete.

- It's definitely not the Tokyo Gazette, my friend.

- What, you puttin' us on?

- Where is she, Shirato?

Hold it.

- Get the cuffs on him.

- I'm gettin', hold still.

- I got him!

Hold him right there!

I've got him!

Will you get the cuffs?

- They don't fit, man.

Well, got your belt?

- Yeah.

Hold it, just hold him, will you?

Hold it.

I got it!

- Where is she?

I don't know how they ever lost the war.

Why don't you ask him?

- Good afternoon, ladies.

- Oh, hi.

- Hi, Joe.

- Little fun and sun.

What? No tip?

- Not on the budget Crowley's got us on.

- You know it.

- Yeah, well I'm gonna have to talk to William about that.

- Mickey?

Thanks.

- Pepper.

Wow, I am getting burnt to a crisp.

- So are my diamonds.

Just keep using your suntan lotion till he shows.

- If he shows.

- Start laughing a lot,

nothing in particular.

Our stud's arrived.

- Like the other day.

- That's him, let's go.

- Hi, girls. - Hi, girls.

Hi.

- You don't mind if we join you, do you?

- Depends what you have in mind.

- Well, frankly we're new in town.

Oh, what a coincidence.

So are we.

Were are you from?

Providence.

- Hey, you're from Rhode Island,

aren't you, Barbie?

- Mmm-hmm.

Smallest but the greatest.

You here for a convention or something?

Mostly or something.

Well, why don't we go up to my suite

and have a little adventure?

- That sounds great.

See ya later.

- All right, have fun.

- Hi.

Comin' in?

- Uh-uh.

Just had my hair done.

But don't let that stop ya.

Swimming's a great exercise.

- Hey, a guy's gotta keep in shape.

- Bet you do push ups, too.

- Yeah, among other things.

I'll bet you've heard it many times before.

- What's that?

- Oh, you're a beautiful woman.

- Every hour on the hour.

- Very beautiful.

- Your record's stuck.

- Nice.

- Mmm-hmm.

- New here, huh?

- How did you know?

- Mmm, come here a lot.

- Oh, you're right.

It's our first time here.

- You and your girlfriends?

- We're models from New York.

- What happened?

7th Avenue gone under?

- All the better French restaurants were closing down.

And so we came out here to see what

the life was like.

Snuggle up under the palms, as it were.

- I see.

And uh,

those were two buyers that your girlfriends

went snuggling upstairs with.

- In a manner of speaking, yes.

- Mmm.

Tell me something.

What do you specialize in?

Negligees?

- On and off.

- I'm Patri.

Leo Patri.

- As in lion?

- Or tiger, same family.

You're ah?

- Dakota.

Dakota James.

- Boy, that's cute.

- Better than that, people remember it.

- You know, you and your friends,

being new here,

not gonna be so easy gettin' started.

It's a big city.

Might need some help gettin' clients.

- Buyers.

Thanks, tiger, but we can take care of ourselves.

- I'm talkin' about very special buyers.

- Like who?

- Ah, let's say we'll, ah,

we'll talk about that.

- Well, if you'll excuse me,

I have some calls to make, my own contacts.

Okay?

- I'll be here when you come back down.

- Well, in case I don't make it,

here's something to remember me by.

- Yeah, I want to make a collect call to

New York City.

- I didn't quite hear what you said.

There was a sudden noise, a rustle of trees,

or those darling simians at play.

- No way I can get that $200,000 together.

- I'd a thought that your very good friends

might really be able to help you out

of a small financial and moral crisis such as this.

- Well, they can't.

I can't ask them to.

- Oh.

Hey, we finally get to see the Theropithecus gelada.

Hi.

- Look, look, I'm due to leave for Sacramento today.

- Oh, to serve your constituents, of course.

Yeah, I too happen to be one of your constituents

and it wouldn't bother me one bit

if you were delayed a few days.

But only a few.

- Look, I told ya, no way I can raise it.

- Look, look for what?

Shouldn't you be looking at some simple facts?

Fact one, you want the Hilary LaSalle book very desperately.

Fact two, you don't want to pay for it.

I really don't understand it.

- Jackson woman.

She's the one, she had it.

Am I right?

- Possibly.

- Did you murder her for it?

- That's not important.

- It's damned important.

- What are you gonna do?

Report me to the authorities?

I'm a private investigator.

You sir, you requested that I investigate this woman,

and indeed found she had the book.

I bought it from her.

She was done away with by a party

or parties unknown who no doubt wanted the book,

but didn't have the time or opportunity to find it.

That's my theory.

I'm usually right.

Good day, Mr. Andrews.

- I raise you one anchovy and two egg salads.

- I'll see that.

- I'm out.

- Well, count me out.

Stakes are a little too high.

- Okay, Sarge, I'm in.

What do you got?

- Full house.

- Come on, Pepper, that's a choker.

Are you kidding?

- What, you didn't go to up-your-sleeve school?

All right, come on, open up.

- Naughty time.

Let's go.

- You ready?

Who is it?

Police department.

- I didn't order any.

I didn't order any of that, either.

- All right, get some clothes on there, buddy.

Come on.

- What are you doing here?

- Lady, we've been on to you for a long time.

- Watch your language.

- All right, let's move it in there.

We're bringing your little operation to a screeching halt.

Who the hell is paying for all this?

- All right, would you get out of here?

This is my suite.

- All right, let's move it, let's move it.

- I am paid for this apartment.

- Case 21236.

Will the female defendants please approach

the bench and stand here alongside the public defender?

The arresting officers, Sergeant Crowley

and Investigator Royster.

- Right here, Your Honor.

- Right here.

- The defendants are Dakota James,

Barbara Stern and Mickey Edwards.

How do they plead, Miss Barlow?

- Innocent, Your Honor.

The charge leaves out one important piece of information.

- Your Honor, with all due respect,

ask them if they had a right, a warrant,

to barge into our suite like that.

- Sergeant Crowley?

- Well, Your Honor, we did phone in for one,

but as sometimes happens,

there just wasn't enough time to pick it up.

- Enough time?

Your Honor, if you want to know what I think,

I think they are a couple of perverted voyeurs,

but they picked the wrong suite because

there was nothing devoye.

- I'm gonna have to dismiss this charge.

It appears the letter of the law was not upheld.

And Sergeant Crowley, Investigator Royster,

I want you to wait in my chambers.

Case dismissed.

Creep.

Case number 102149.

- Come to get your kicks here, pussycat?

- Think it over, baby.

You might need help to get started.

- Let's say we'll talk about it.

He bought it.

- Hanako Shirato?

Are you Hanako Shirato?

Who are you?

- I'm with the police department.

My name is Investigator Royster.

I'd like to ask you a couple questions.

There's no need to be frightened.

I just want to talk with you.

- What did you want to talk to me about?

- Hilary LaSalle and her trick book.

- I didn't have anything to do with killing her.

And I know nothing about any trick book.

- You didn't dig her very much, did you?

- I hated her.

- Why?

Why, honey?

- I was in Japan without money.

And I had a son

who had no father.

She met me.

She asked if I would like to come back with her

to be in her employ for five years.

She said, "With your looks,

"you can make a lot of money."

"You'll live like a princess," she said.

But after I came,

worked here,

I saw my son only on Sundays.

He became sad.

And lonely.

He said to me, "Why?

"Why couldn't we be together more?"

- Well, if you didn't dig it,

why didn't you just split?

- I tried.

I went to her.

I asked her, please.

I pay anything, give anything to get

some other sort of work.

But she...

- She what?

- She...

asked me how I'd like it if one night

I woke up with razor cuts on my face.

- The night of the murder, what happened?

- I told you.

I wasn't there.

A friend of mine,

she asked if she could take my son to the beach.

I said yes.

There was an accident.

Two cars.

My friend was dead.

And my son?

You can see.

I came straight here.

You don't believe me.

Any of it.

- Yes, I do.

I do believe you.

- Then leave me alone.

Leave us alone, please.

- Yeah.

Are you sure about that?

Hey, if it checks out, it checks out, okay?

Yeah.

- Now there, there we go.

It's in Massachusetts.

Town called Amherst.

You know, if it were here

and on the market I could get maybe

three, 400,000.

These historical celebrity places, you don't need it.

- Historical celebrity?

How?

I don't understand.

- Well, it belonged to a very famous lady.

Poetess.

Ah, today I guess you'd say poet person, hmm?

- Who, Mr. Brinker?

Emily?

What are you trying to say, Pep?

- Emily Dickinson, Bill, the poet.

This was her house.

The same one painted by Lorelei.

Don't you remember what Dani Summers told us?

I mean about where she was from?

Yeah, she said she was from

Massachusetts or Vermont.

- It was Massachusetts.

This is Emily Dickinson's house in Amherst.

- Okay, so Lorelei painted a poet's house in her hometown.

- Lorelei majored in English Lit.

She had to have read a lot of Emily Dickinson.

I showed you those letters.

- As our friend Emily would've put it.

Something like that.

- Exactly.

The letters were not written to Hilary LaSalle.

They were written to someone else

and by Lorelei Frank.

Jule Buck.

When Pete questioned Buck,

he said he's met Hilary through one of her girls.

Uh-huh.

And his body was found eight floors below

Lorelei's apartment.

- Hi.

- Let's go, Mr. Eglash.

You and I are gonna take a little ride.

Come on, I said.

Let's go.

All right, you're home.

- Mr. Eglash.

Where is it?

- What?

Where's what?

- The trick book.

- What?

What book?

I don't know, I don't know what you're talking about.

Listen, I'm sick, I'm very sick.

I'm a sick man.

- Mmm-mmm.

You're a dead man.

Chaucer?

- Please.

Please, I, I will,

I have a heart condition.

- Now you tell us where it is,

and you'll get your pills.

- I need those pills.

Listen to me.

I'm a sick man.

Give me.

Please.

Please.

Oh.

Please.

Oh, oh.

The trick book, Eglash.

- Oh.

I need those pills.

- You tell us where the book is

and you'll get the pills.

- The locker at the airport.

The key is stuck with gum

under the bench

where I sit in the park.

I need those pills, please.

Uh, uh.

Michael Eglash.

- Yeah, thanks for calling us, Doc.

- Yeah, he was carrying a whole lot of

scratch paper in his pocket.

One of 'em had an address on it.

LaSalle's maid.

- Celia Jackson.

- Yeah, well we had her in here just a few days ago.

Want my opinion?

He was murdered, too.

- Based on what?

- Oh, surely find that cardiac arrest

was the cause of death.

But he was carrying a bottle of nitroglycerin tablets.

Could've saved himself easy if he felt

a seizure coming on.

Just swallowed a few.

- Somebody kept him from taking them, is that it?

- Well, I'm a coroner, not a dramatist,

but it seems to me like I saw something like this

in a movie one time.

You can call me kind of a high-class movie buff,

an amateur detective.

Betty Davis.

Mr. Skeffington.

I suppose you've asked yourself why

he was in that warehouse all alone.

Yeah.

Yeah, he's here.

Crowley.

- Oh.

Yeah.

Yeah, Joe.

Who?

That's very interesting, thanks.

Channing Andrews would like to talk

to somebody right away.

Joe says it's about the trick book.

Doc, see ya later.

Let's go.

- Oh, uh, Doc?

It wasn't Mr. Skeffington.

It was The Little Foxes.

But it was Betty Davis.

- Yeah.

That's right.

- I attended a boarding school in my teen years.

There was a headmaster

who used to beat me at least once a week.

In order to cut off the pain,

I began to transform it in my mind,

into an act of immense pleasure.

It's remained with me ever since.

Meanwhile, my wife,

she just...

- I understood.

But there was just, there was nothing I could do about it.

And then

Channing became involved with this,

this LaSalle person,

one of her girls,

one named Lorelei.

When this LaSalle woman

realized who my husband was,

she started to blackmail us.

And he paid.

And uh, just kept on paying.

- You continued going to her?

- And then she was murdered.

A man who now obviously had the book

took over, trying to blackmail me.

- Eglash.

- Eglash.

Well.

I'm a natural target.

- Mr. Andrews,

why did you phone the department tonight?

- A few hours ago I got a call

from another man

who says he's got the book.

- What was his name?

- Didn't give me his name.

He just gave me an address and

told me to be there at 10 o'clock tonight.

- What is that address?

- 94 Lafayette Place.

A toast to the day we began

our happy partnership.

Goin' a little heavy on that stuff, ain't ya?

Why don't you lay off?

- Remember the day when I got you into all of this?

50/50 all the way.

But let's, let's not drink to our new partner,

the one that you sprang on me tonight.

All of a sudden I'm 33 and a third.

- Relax, will ya?

I told ya, she's not exactly a partner.

She's more like a, like an associate.

- Oh, yeah, sure.

She's like an associate.

Is she a blonde associate or is she

a redheaded associate?

Maybe she's a brunette.

- Now come on, Lorelei.

You know as well as I do.

We need some new girls, some fresh faces.

- New girls, fresh faces.

What a great title for a song.

- Now listen to me.

Now that's Andrews.

You just behave yourself.

I'll get it.

- Hi, tiger.

- Well, hello.

- We did have an appointment?

- Yeah.

Yeah, I know, but you're a little early.

- Okay, I'll come back later.

Maybe.

That's better.

Still got some of my suntan...

I thought it was a custom to take a lady's coat.

What are you doing?

- You never know,

might have a little lingerie sample in there.

Come on in.

- I didn't know you had company.

- Dakota James, Laura Francis.

- Hi, partner.

- I don't think I understand this.

- Hmm, I understand perfectly.

You are the blonde associate.

- Let's get one thing straight, Leo.

I don't want any lush hooker in on this operation.

I work with my girls on my own.

If you want to help us, we'll discuss it.

But I run a class shop.

A New York tart.

Huh, that is what I call the ultimate.

The consummate in class.

- Oh, your friend graduated high school, I see.

- Oh, you bet I did, baby.

- Get your hands off me.

- All right, all right, now look.

Class is just what it's gonna be.

With plenty of action for the three of us.

I want both of you to get something straight.

Now there's a bar in there.

Have a drink.

Both of you.

And get friendly.

- Sure, we're gonna end up adoring each other.

- I said get friendly.

Andrews.

Come on in.

Now, Mr. Assemblyman.

I'm not a man to waste words.

I say what I have to and that's it.

Mr. Chaucer, Assemblyman Andrews.

Now you want to be governor, right?

Well, we're gonna go you one better.

You're gonna be our next senator.

- What?

- You see, you got a lot of friends you never met

or you'll never meet, except for their hands.

As my grandmother used to say,

one hand washes the other.

- I'm gonna have another one.

You?

- No thank you.

- Never, never trust a man who doesn't drink.

Humphrey Bogart.

Dakota, now there, there is a real phony name

if I ever heard one.

What's it really, honey?

Rebecca?

Sonny Brook Farm?

- Emily.

What's the matter?

You've heard the name, haven't you?

- And you have the book?

- Yeah, I got the book with your name,

your sexual preferences neatly circled.

- I want to see it.

- I said I got it.

- A lot of other people may say they have it, too.

- Okay.

Here you go.

Page three, section A.

Enjoy.

- Let's go.

- Okay, Lorelei, time's up.

- Police, freeze!

- Watch out!

Get an ambulance.

Got the cuffs?

Here they are, Pep.

Hang on to her.

- Let go of me.

- I remind you of your rights, Miss Frank.

You're entitled to a lawyer of your choice

or if you so desire...

- What would a lawyer know about me?

My life?

My secret life?

Anything?

Secrecy.

A man can hide all things excepting twain.

That he is drunk and that he is in love.

Thus spake Antiphanes.

- You were having an affair with Jule Buck.

- Secretly.

I need a drink.

- Then suddenly he married Hilary LaSalle.

- Secretly.

Except it wasn't such a secret, was it?

- Lorelei, your letters to him.

- Oh-ho, my letters.

They must've had a real loud laugh

reading them together.

- You murdered her.

- Now, I really would like a drink.

Okay?

You get me a drink?

Dakota?

Tell him to get me a drink.

- And Buck.

What did you do with him?

Ask him to come over?

Except you weren't planning to be there, were you?

But Patri was.

- I'll have a scotch.

A scotch'll do.

- She's right, isn't she, Miss Frank?

You and Patri both figured that Jule Buck

had the trick book, only he didn't.

Celia Jackson did.

So you offed her, too.

Either you or Patri or maybe both of you.

And then Eglash.

- Gin?

- And then your own death.

Now that was the perfect way to lie low

for a little while, wasn't it?

- Vodka.

I'll take a glass of wine.

- Am I right, Miss Frank?

Am I right?

- I forget the year.

- What year?

- The year that they said it to him.

The saddest of princes

in dark, dank.

'Tis true, 'tis pity.

'Tis pity and it's true.

I need a drink!

I need a drink!

I want a drink!

Get me a drink!

A vodka, please!

Get me a drink!

Something! Anything!

Please get me a drink!

I want a drink.

- Hey, easy, easy.

That's my finger.

- Let me take the ring off, you can keep the finger.

- Oh, oh.

- Give me the ring.

- Come on.

- There you go.

Now let's have its playmate.

- Can't I keep it at least till tomorrow?

- That old diamond you got around your neck, honey,

is worth about $35,000.

- That doesn't bother me.

- Well, it bothers me 'cause it was

checked out in my name.

Let's have it.

- Now just a minute.

Hey, Joe.

- Oh, anything yet?

- Oh, no.

But the doctor said it would be soon.

- How's she doin'?

- She's takin' it pretty well.

- Oh, number three, she ought to by now.

- How you doin'?

- I'm hangin' in, buddy.

- Peter, that's a nice name for a boy.

Ever thought about that one, Joe?

- I'll tell you what, Pete.

You buy, it's a boy, and we'll negotiate.

- That's a deal.

Okay, gotcha.

How about you guys, Crowley?

- Here, here.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

You guys do the legwork

and Crowley'll spring it.

- Are you sure you know what you're doin' now?

- Look, take the money.

Let's go.

- All right.

Legwork?

What's new?

- Isn't that somethin'?

Old Billy cheated.

- Oh, Hanako.

Hi. - Hi.

Fine, thank you.

- Nice to see you.

How is, how's your boy?

- Oh, he's doing just great.

- That's good.

- I was going to call you

to thank you for setting those appointments up

at the department stores.

- I'm just glad I could be available.

- Well, ah, I guess I better be going.

Thank you.

- Thank you.

- Excuse me, I thought we were partners.

- Only in crime, Joseph.

- It's kind of nice to snuggle up with a friend, isn't it?

- Yeah.

Yeah.

It sure is.

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