Original subtitles

[theme music playing]

[Ben] Okay, what about Lamppost?

[Melissa] You want to call him Lamppost?

-[Ben] Yeah. -He cocks his leg up

every one of them.

What about Chops?

-Or Sausage? -What?

He likes them.

Hey, Choppy, Choppy.

-Sausage. -[Melissa] All right.

How about Lamebrain? He seems to like those.

-[Ben] Yeah, like you. -[Melissa] Oh like me.

-Hey, mom. -[Julie] Hey.

-[Melissa] Hey. -What's a good name for a dog?

Oh, you tell me.

I'm flat out thinking of baby names.

Oh, and?

Well the more I think the more confused I get,

which is why this meeting of Nine Moons

we're having a baby naming session.

Summer, hi.

What's in a name?

"A rose by any other name

would smell as sweet."

Who the hell said that?

If it's a girl middle name Louise, after my mom.

[Summer] Oh, that's so gorgeous.

-[Rachel] Yeah. -[Julie] And for a boy

I really like Finnegan.

Finnegan Rafter?

Oh, I like that too.

Yeah the only problem is dad thinks that Finnegan

sounds like a smelly drunken Irish poet.

A poet? Oh, but that's so romantic.

[Rachel] Yeah, mom, how come we got such boring names?

Oh, my God. Who is that?

Oh, that's Dave's offsider

and you can close your mouth, he's taken.

Or he wishes he was.

My daughter's playing hard to get.

Are you insane?

[Julie] Oh! Shakespeare!

Sorry, oh I've been trying to remember,

it's a sonnet or something.

I love it. That, that is a great name.

-Thank you. -Rose?

-Shakespeare? -No, Sonnet.

Fruit cake, Summer?

Seriously, it's just a name.

They don't need a full on summit meeting.

You're telling me. I reckon they could write

a whole lot of names down and chuck them in a bucket.

Mind you you'd have to be a very brave man

to tell them that or stupid.

[Jake] Just call it something normal like Jake.

Mm, Jake?

Well, Jake's a good bloke.

He's someone you want to invite for a beer but Crispin?

No one wants to invite Crispin for a beer.

Well what about Milo?

Mmm, good on top of ice cream.

[Summer] But not as a boy's name?

[Jake] Yeah, the number of wedgies he'd get,

I wouldn't want to wash his undies.

Oh.

I knew a guy at uni called Milo

and he ended up having a black belt

-in taekwondo so-- -Exactly.

With a name like that he had to grow up tough, didn't he?

[laughter]

Can I talk to you for a minute please?

So that's interesting.

You're flirting with all the pregnant mothers.

Why would you care?

Unless you were gonna say yes

to coming out with me on Saturday night

then this would be wrong, yeah.

-Yeah. -I already told you

this isn't gonna work.

But it might be fun to try.

Ooh, smart woman that.

[Julie] Jake's middle name could well be "persistent".

Rachel's?

Definitely "hard to get".

[smoke alarm blares]

[Dave] That woman just can't get

the hang of that toaster.

[Julie] And as for Trish

right now her name was mud.

-[Ted] Oi. -[Trish groans]

-[Ted] Oh. -[Dave] You right?

[Ted] Oh, that's better!

[Trish] Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, that noise can drive a man deaf.

I was making dinner and the tea towel

-was next to the stove. -[gasps]

Oh not Rachel's tea towel.

Oh God, don't tell me it's something special.

[Rachel] Oh, no don't worry about it, Trish.

It's kind of embarrassing,

my mom likes to show off the stuff we made

-back in kindy. -[Trish] Kindy?

Oh, Julie, I'm sorry.

-I'm really-- -[Julie] No, no, no,

it's fine, it was an accident.

It's a lovely gesture you making dinner for us.

Oh, well, it's the least I can do.

You've all been so kind.

You especially, giving up your room.

[Rachel] Oh, don't worry about it Trish, really.

[Trish] Well, I better get back to it

or we won't be eating before midnight.

I really loved that tea towel.

Yeah, I really was quite proud of it myself.

[dog barking]

Mackie, Mackie, go Mackie.

Go Mackie.

Go, Mackie!

Mackie.

Randy, go Randy.

Fetch Randy!

Randy, come on Randy!

Oh, yeah. Like I'm really gonna yell that in the park.

Who let the dog into my parents' room?

-Not me. -No the door was closed.

[Carbo] Oh, then this dog must be some kind of genius

because he got it open himself, did he?

What's my mom gonna say when she sees this?

[dog whimpers]

[Melissa] Hey, Carbo, watch your step.

-[Carbo] God! -Sorry.

Shit!

Rule number one, you scoop the poo.

[Melissa] Yeah, we were just about to.

And if this happens again the dog is out of here.

Oh, don't listen to him, Mackie.

-He doesn't mean it. -I mean it!

-And don't give him a name. -[barks]

[Carbo] Give it a name, it's ours,

and that's not gonna happen.

[Ben] You'd really throw Mackie Randy out

on the street?

Yes. And we'll be right there with him

if mom hears about this.

[dog barking]

Come on, guys, it's been nearly a week.

Can't you make this dog stop?

[Ben] Hey, look, dad he likes you.

You been rolling in peanut butter again?

Look, someone's gonna call council

if this mutt keeps this up.

[Carbo] Oh, at last, someone's talking sense.

Make him stop, all right?

[barks]

[Ben] Sorry dad.

Told you he doesn't like dogs.

Yeah. And I don't blame him.

Look, if the owners aren't here soon,

he goes straight to the pound, okay?

Look, end of story.

And no votes!

[upbeat music playing]

[Dave] Thanks Trish, that was great.

[Trish] And edible too.

Oh, I must've used every utensil in this place.

I think I'm trying too hard.

Well, if you are, it's working.

Look, thanks again. It's all right.

Oh, pleasure.

Now Trish, leave the washing up.

I'll give dad a hand.

Oh, really? Oh, okay.

Sorry about the tea towel.

Oh, darl, that's fine. These things happen.

[Trish] Would anyone mind if I used the computer?

I just thought I'd jump online

and see if there was anywhere to rent.

[Julie] Oh, no, help yourself.

-Go for it, Trish. -Not at all.

[Sammy] Okay.

So you've got to search the area and then the price.

[Trish] Yes, yes, Sammy, I know what I'm doing.

Now, what will three hundred a week get me?

[Sammy] Uh, you might have a little more luck

if you try a little less east.

[Trish] Twelve hundred dollars a week with that bathroom?

Right out of my price range.

Four hundred dollars a week for that?

[Julie] Well, the-- a lick of paint.

It might not be so bad.

What's the point? I'm turning my nose up at it

and it's right out of my price range anyway.

Well, maybe if you got a job

you'd have a better idea of your budget.

Julie, you are so funny.

Really?

I mean, who's gonna give me a job?

What could I do? I haven't worked in years.

I haven't got any qualifications.

Didn't you used to be a secretary?

That's how I started up. That's how I met Tony.

Back then it was all typewriters and tippex.

Well, even if you were a bit rusty

you could always do a refresher course.

Maybe then I could get some temp work somewhere.

-Exactly. -[Trish] Oh, who am I kidding?

These days jobs are harder to find

than rental properties.

Where would I even start?

[Julie] Well we do need someone at Barrett's.

I mean, it's just data entry work,

I'm sure Trish could handle it.

[sighs] But then I keep thinking,

I mean, we've got to put up with her here,

do I really need to see her at work as well?

Go on say it I'm a horrible person.

You're a horrible person.

I mean even dad thinks we should give her a chance.

And I agree.

Look, we're already doing our bit.

I'm sure there's heaps of jobs out there

that she could apply for.

-Oh. -[Dave] All right.

Well, maybe not heaps.

Maybe not that many at all.

And they still won't be there in the morning.

You're not a horrible person.

But that bloody dog is.

[dog barking]

[Melissa] You have got to make him stop

or else Carbo's gonna turn him into horse meat.

Do horses eat meat?

No, I mean dead meat.

Well, why me?

Because I'm only dog person in daylight hours.

Go, go, go.

Am I a vampire?

If I had a shotgun, I'd be using it.

-And not on the dog. -Okay.

Yeah. And at 4:00 a.m. when the alarm goes off,

how many hours sleep?

Count them, Benno.

-Count it. -Okay, okay.

You're worse than my dad.

[dog barking]

[Julie] Dave.

Yeah?

-Hey. -What?

You okay?

-Yeah. -[Julie] Oh.

There was a dog.

Ben's dog?

Oh, no, no, it was uh... barking.

Scratching the door.

Yeah, sure it was a dream?

Old lassie next door's been going off his head.

No, no, no, it was another dog.

I've had that dream before.

When I was a kid I used to have the same dream.

Oh.

Well you're probably having it now

because Lassie next door

-has been going off. -No, no it's more than that.

I think there's more to it than that.

[birds chirping]

[dog barking]

[Dave] Hey. Oi, Ben!

There's something over here that belongs to you.

-How did he get in here? -[Julie] Well, I don't know.

Maybe he dug his way in or he jumped the fence.

Ben!

Well you've made a fan there.

Oh, no. I don't believe this. Sorry.

He keeps going mental trying to get out.

I'll come around and get him now.

You're just gonna have to try

and find some way to control him.

[Julie] What's with you and dogs all of a sudden?

Dreaming about them, now this?

Ooh.

Hope that dog barking didn't wake you up?

No, I've got to be an early riser if I'm gonna find a job.

Ah, and how's it going?

Surprisingly there's not a lot around

for a former socialite with dubious talents.

Mmm, yes, I think those jobs get snapped up fairly fast.

[Trish] And they all want a resume.

It's like the chicken and the egg.

No first break without the experience.

No experience, no first break.

[Julie] It was around about then I started to wonder,

the middle names I've never had but always wanted,

maybe they were soft and touch.

You're telling me she hasn't had a job in ten years?

Twenty years but it's a casual position.

I mean, it's not like we'll be stuck with her.

Please, Don, just you know, Ron would approve.

Well, why don't you give him a call?

There's no need. I've assumed responsibility here.

Just give her a go.

If it doesn't work out--

Your head, Julie.

It'll be on your head.

[Trish] Thank you so much for this.

I promise I won't let you down.

Oh, okay. Well, your desk is here.

And this is what we need you to get started on.

Everything from here needs to be entered into the database.

[Trish] Okay, fine. Shouldn't be a problem.

-[Julie] Great. -Look at me?

I'm a working girl.

Looks like it.

[Trish] Um, Julie?

Just one thing,

how do I turn this on?

[Julie] Or maybe that middle name was "sucker".

Well, any further away from home

and we'd have to book a flight back.

Well, the owner's bound to see one sometime.

Look at him. He's such a great dog.

[dog barks]

Is it just me or does he look like Brad Pitt?

Hey, Brad.

Brad it's me, Angelina.

[dog barking]

[Ben] Hey, come on, mate. Heel. Heel.

We've got to show Carbo you can behave.

-Come on give me a go. -Oh!

Sorry. Puppy.

Puppy. Puppy. He just got away from us.

[Dave] Get that. Me and dogs, we don't get on.

Just and you know that, now pick up the leash.

Were you attacked as a kid or something?

No, no nothing like that. Just--

[Ben] Dad, he definitely likes you.

Give him a pat. He won't bite.

Well he's a dog, isn't he?

Well no it's all right, Ben's got him.

See?

Woof!

I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Do it do it.

[dog barks]

Dog.

[Julie] Trish? What?

[Don] Well, the Indian Pacific was the longest

standard gauge railway

before they opened the Alice Springs Darwin

-leg of the Ghan. -The Ghan?

Named after Afghan.

-Camels. -Fascinating.

-Yes, Julie? -[Julie] Um, yes.

No. Uh, Trish if you're using the copier,

it's a good idea to keep an eye on it.

-It's jammed. -Temperamental thing.

[chuckles] Just like my ex-husband.

Just like my Californian Floppy.

Uh, rabbits. Uh, I breed them.

Well, better get back to the grind.

He's so sweet, isn't he?

As long as the work's getting done on time, he is.

Oh, Trish?

-The copier's still jammed. -Yes, course.

Who do we get to fix that?

[Jake] Come on, Saturday night.

Let me take you out to dinner.

[Rachel] Oh, Jake,

I... I really appreciate the persistence--

Look you have to eat anyway.

It can't be that much of a dead life.

But when are you gonna see

that this is never gonna work?

I can pick you up after footy.

I'll even let you choose the restaurant.

-You don't give up, do you? -Nope.

[Rachel] Oh, how many times am I gonna have to say no.

You keep saying this is not gonna work--

Because it won't!

It's never in a million years going--

Yes, but it does.

We know that.

Yeah. Well, animal instinct

and common sense

are two very different things.

Well, lucky for us.

Come on. I mean

it's one night out of your life.

How bad can it be?

How about one afternoon?

Is that a yes?

I'll come to the football with you.

Okay. Uh, just so you know I'm gonna be playing

and that's not with the All Blacks.

No, no, no, I'll come to the football with you

to prove to you once and for all

that you and I may work very well,

after dark but during daylight hours we are--

Yeah. We haven't tried during daylight hours.

Oh, no, no, you can forget it.

No, no, no, great, great. Perfect.

Perfect. It'll be fun.

Tomorrow's Ladies Day

Oh, good.

Does that mean I get to dress up

in a ra-ra skirt and pom poms?

It's not a porno, Rach.

It's just our way of saying

thanks to the girls who support us.

Right. So you all stand around in your jockstraps

grunting in gratitude?

Yeah. If you're lucky.

Woo!

[Julie] Bye, everyone. Have a lovely weekend.

-Okay. -Oh, no. Not more.

I can't believe people do this for their whole lives,

every day for less than two hundred dollars a day.

That's before tax on that.

Oh, you pay tax? Oh, sorry.

I must sound like one of the royal family.

[Julie] No, that's all right. When I come back from holidays

it's a shock to the system as well.

No. No! No, no, no!

What? What's happened?

[Trish] The file I was working on, it's gone.

-What do you mean it's gone? -Well, one second it was here

and the next second it's not.

Well, well what'd you do?

Nothing I, I hit one of the buttons.

-Well, which button? -I'm not sure.

-Well did you save it? -[Trish] Um, no.

-I don't know. -[Julie] No?

Or yes. It flashed something at me.

I hadn't finished working on it.

All right well don't worry. It'll, um,

it'll be on the hard drive somewhere.

-Oh, that's a relief. -[Julie] What was the, uh,

-what was the file called? -No it wasn't called anything.

You didn't give it a name?

No, no, because I hadn't finished working on it.

No. No, you're meant to do that

when you first open a file.

-Not right at the end? -No.

Tell me you can get it back!

[Julie] I think the technical term is down the gurgler.

Oh that's a whole day's work.

Oh, my God!

Uh, just go along with what I'm saying.

Hi.

How are you going with those, uh, spreadsheets?

[Julie] Oh, we're, you know, we're getting through them.

They should've been finished by now.

They need to go out Monday.

This is the end of year reconciliation.

That's exactly why we'll be here first thing tomorrow

-to make sure it gets done. -[Don] Right.

Well, as long as you're not expecting

some sort of Saturday overtime.

-Course not. Are we? -No.

[Don] Good. Well, I'll see you tomorrow then.

Oh, and thanks for all your hard work today, Trish.

Not a problem, Don.

Thank you so much for giving me a chance.

My feet are killing me.

So how was it?

I think I did pretty well.

It was a nightmare.

It was everything that I was afraid of.

No, no, in fact, it was worse.

[Trish] I thought I'd be a bit rusty

but it was just like riding a bike.

And the computer?

A little glitch here and there

but, you know, nothing to worry about.

I'm a bit of a natural.

I think the only thing she learnt at secretarial school

was how to bat her eyelashes.

It was obviously her yabba dabba doo.

Hang on we're talking about Don Barrett here?

Yeah, I know. She was flirting outrageously.

Yeah I, I repeat, Don Barrett,

nephew of Ron, breeder of rabbits?

[Julie] Well, she's not looking for a husband.

She's trying to cover up the fact

she's got no idea what she's doing.

[Trish] I'm a real find.

That's what Don said.

If I play my cards right,

I could make this more permanent.

[Dave] Short term pain

-for long term gain. -Ooh.

[Dave] And you're a wonderful person for doing this for her.

[Julie] Oh, if I'm so wonderful,

how come I spent the whole day

wanting to strangle her?

Julie just adored me.

[groans]

It's so nice to have you home.

It's like I've barely seen you.

Well, if you see the need to make up for lost time,

I'm perfectly okay with that.

I have made a decision.

I wanted you to be the first to know.

-[Sammy] Mom! -Well, aren't you supposed

-to be working in the morning? -Yes, yes I am.

Well, maybe you should lay off the chardonnay.

Oh, don't rain on my parade.

It's Friday night and this is after work drinkies.

Now here. Read this. Read it.

Um, yes, it is your marriage certificate.

See what it says. See what it says right there.

Patricia Newman.

I mean, that's who I was.

Patricia Westaway.

The day she threw her name away

was the day she threw her life away

but I, I am reclaiming the world.

Patricia New-man.

That, that's my name.

Or even better, Patricia New-Woman.

Although, a new man in time would be fun.

As you were.

Oh, my God.

Is that what I've got to look forward to?

Oh, please God, let it not be so.

What is it? What, what is it?

What is it? What is it?

[Julie] Dave.

Hey.

[dog barking]

[Julie] Are you okay?

Same dream about the dog?

There's not barking next door.

He's been quiet.

It's not a dream.

It's real.

It happened.

I was locked in a room with a barking dog

-and there was gas. -Gas?

It was a smell of gas, yeah, and Ringo.

-What? -Yeah. It was the...

That was the dog's name, Jules.

I know it was.

I lived through this.

It's not a dream.

It's a memory.

I was there.

In a room and the dog was barking.

And whatever was happening,

I was terrified.

[dog barking]

[humming]

T-here you go my love. -[Julie] Thank you.

-Shower free? -Yes, all yours, darling.

-[Rachel groans] -[Ted humming]

If you guys insist on making so much noise,

the least you can do is make me a cup of tea.

Not very subtle, is she?

Neither is the racket you lot are making.

Now here you go, madam.

All sugared and stirred.

All you have to do is drink it.

Thank you.

-Hey, mom? -Yep.

[Rachel] I know I should be a bit more gracious

but when is Trish leaving?

As soon as she gets herself back on her feet.

Great, so never. I'm moving next door.

I thought you and Trish had to work today?

Yeah we do. [sighs]

Whoa! Mom! No, no.

[Julie] Sorry. Sammy, um,

I've really got to get to work and there's no sign of Trish

so Sammy could you just go in and give her

-a bit of a nudge please? -Mm.

Thanks.

What is it with moms in this place?

Mom. Mom!

-Wake up. -[Trish groans]

[gasps]

Oh. Oh my head is gonna explode.

[Sammy] Yeah. Well, I told you to lay off the wine

-last night, didn't I? -[Julie] Um, Trish,

-we've got to get going. -I know.

I slept through my alarm, Julie.

I'm sorry but I'll be as quick as I can.

-I promise. -[Julie] It's just that

we've got a lot to get through today.

Yeah. I'm just gonna jump in the shower.

I'm gonna put a face on.

No the face you've got might have to do.

[Trish] I won't be long I promise.

-You're late. -Yes. I know I'm sorry, Don.

[Don] Don't be sorry, just get the job finished.

I shouldn't have to talk to you about this, Julie.

Okay.

Let's just get this done as quickly as possible

so we can get home and start enjoying

the rest of the weekend.

Oh, here's to that. Absolutely.

I'll just get myself a coffee first.

Don, I'm making coffee. Would you like one?

Yes.

Thanks for asking, Trish.

[cheering]

[indistinct chatter]

[players cheering]

[man] Yeah!

Rachel.

Hey.

I thought you weren't gonna show.

Now you're here.

[Rachel] Yes, I am, and you're all...

dirty and sweaty.

Yeah.

And I saw Camel drenched you in beer.

Yeah, idiot. [laughs]

Did he feel the need to do that for a particular reason?

We won. We're in the finals.

We, uh, creamed those yuppies at Sydney Uni last week

and now this so we're legends.

Oh, yeah you're legends, that's very mature.

Look, uh, I'm just gonna go and have a shower.

I'll be back in a sec, all right?

-Hey Jake. -[Jake] Hey.

It was a great game.

Like I said it's, um, Ladies Day so...

Yeah. It's for us girls who come every game,

all season, without fail.

To say thank you.

Every game.

Okay. Uh, I'll be back in a sec.

Yeah!

Champions!

A tragic waste of beer if you ask me.

I'm Chynna.

Like the country but not spelt like it.

My mom's a racist.

Hi, I'm Rachel.

Um, I didn't know I was supposed to frock up.

Oh, it's the whole Ladies' Day thing.

Yeah, explain that to me again?

It's for us girls who come every game all season--

They do it every year.

And, yeah, it's sort of lame but hey, free champers.

Four glasses.

Six if you get your girls out.

Oh.

[Tania] So what's the story? How do you know Jake?

Oh, he works for my dad.

-Is he your boyfriend? -No.

Well, have you slept with him?

[Chynna] Geez, Tania! Give the girl a break.

She hasn't even got a drink yet.

Do you want to get a drink?

[Rachel] Sure.

Subtle.

So if you're not Jake's girlfriend,

what are you doing here?

[Chynna] Okay. Tania, Rachel. Rachel, Tania.

Jake and I have a thing going on, just so you know.

Tans, he gave you a lift home.

Once. That's not exactly a thing.

So are you his girlfriend or not?

Mmm. No, I'm not.

We're just--I can't really give you a name for it.

I don't think there is one.

So hey, are we just here for the sausage sizzle?

Do they boys actually ever show their faces?

They're in the showers, bonding.

And, yes, it always takes this long.

Don't go there, I reckon.

So, why do we bother turning up

if they're just gonna ignore us all afternoon?

Oh, well, usually we don't.

Well, not until five minutes before the end of the game,

the same way you did.

Nice work, by the way.

[Rachel] So today's really just all about

-the free champers? -And the game.

All season. Without fail.

No, it's the champers really.

Um, so, am I gonna get to see Jake at all

or is the afternoon total...

segregation?

[Chynna] Do you want to perve on Jake?

[Tania] Hey, it's my hole. I found it.

Made it, she means.

Are you guys serious?

I know.

We've got to do something to entertain ourselves.

[Tania] Who can you see? Is it Jake?

Oh yeah.

And I think he's been doing some major time

on the stair master.

Are you sure you don't want a squiz?

Hey me first. It's my hole.

[Chynna] Tans! Take a chill pill!

New girl first.

Thank you.

Yes, I might just have a little look.

Oh, my god!

You set that up. You set--

[exclaims] Gorillas in the mist.

[Tania] No give me a look!

[Chynna] I guess that serves us right.

-Another drink? -[Rachel] Mm.

I'm gonna need another bottle to erase that image.

Oh, what is that?

[Ben] Don't let Carbo see you drinking out of here.

-[Carbo] Okay, that's it. -[Ben] Oh!

Two shoes and he's gone.

Look I told you, didn't I? Keep him out of mom's room.

We did. He didn't go near it.

So who chewed this? It's not like it's even the same pair.

Mel, have you been munching on shoes again?

[Carbo] Don't make jokes. You're not good at it.

-The dog has to go. -No.

Today. He goes straight to the pound, end of story.

Carbo, look at him. Look.

He's old. No one's gonna give him a home.

He's gonna sit in the cage

and rot until he dies or worse.

[Melissa] Poor Fang. Alone, nameless.

[dog barking]

[Dave] Hey, Ben.

Yeah?

[Dave] Call him back to you. Call him Ringo.

-Ringo? -[Dave] Yeah, just try it.

Ringo, come here.

-Hey, Ringo. -[barking]

-Uh, no. -[Ben] Ringo!

Forget it, it's all right.

Well, what--

No, never mind. Just forget it.

Uh, what was that about?

[Carbo] Well, isn't it obvious?

All that barking's turned him mental.

Okay, that's it.

Ringo dingo blingo, whatever your name is, you go.

-End of story. -[Ben] Okay.

But you have to be the one that takes him back.

Hey, mate, you can't put this on me.

I mean, I didn't bring him here.

[Ben] No. You're the one that wants him gone,

you have to take him back, end of story.

And no votes. Come on, Mel.

Okay, no worries, you gutless wonders.

I'll do it. I'm no softie.

Hey, don't look at me like that.

I'm Greek.

[Tania] You guys right for drinks?

[Rachel and Tanya] Mm.

-No undies. -[Chynna] No.

[both snickering]

-What? -She just noticed

you're not wearing any underpants.

Yeah. Who wants a VPL in this dress?

Visible panty line.

Oh, yeah I got that.

[Tania] Yeah. VPL'S, so cheap.

She never wears undies.

Not on the day of a game.

Okay so, seriously,

what's the deal with her and Jake?

What's it to you?

'Cause you and Jake, there's nothing going on.

-No, no. -You're just here

because you really, really like footy.

That's right.

Tania's not the one Jake's into.

You've come up in conversation a couple of times.

-What has he said? -So you do care?

What has he said?

Well, hardly anything, that's my whole point.

That's how I can tell he has a total thing for you.

We say your name and he blushes.

-No way. -He does, really.

I've always wanted to learn how to fish.

Uh, I don't fish.

Oh, but you said you made those little fly, fly things.

I do. That's why I breed rabbits.

I use their fur. But I don't fish.

Oh, I'm not interrupting anything, am I?

[Trish] No, no, no. Don was just telling me

about his other hobby, fly fish--

-Not fishing. -Fly making?

Fly tying. Fly tying.

Great. Well you know what? We've actually got work to do

and unless you start pitching in,

we're gonna be here all day, all right?

Oops. I'm in trouble now.

Looks like those pregnancy hormones

are really starting to kick in.

-What? -Well, this could be

the longest nine months in history.

[Don] Am I hearing correctly?

Is this some kind of a joke?

Are you...

pregnant?

Uncle Ron owns this company, not you.

Uncle Ron is on extended sick leave

and I am running this company as his proxy.

[Julie] And I'm only just past the first trimester.

I didn't want to go blabbing the news

until I was sure everything was okay.

There is a big difference between telling me

the legal and rightful

representative of this company

and telling the rest of the world.

No, there's not.

Let me get some paper. I'm gonna make a list.

No common courtesy,

no loyalty to her longtime employer.

You've been here eight weeks.

Now I'm talking about Uncle Ron.

Well, it is up to me to decide

when people should be told

and I'm not gonna stand here and let you turn this

into some kind of personal slight.

Whether I am pregnant or not, it makes no difference.

An employer cannot discriminate on those grounds.

So what does it matter when you hear the news?

I'm gonna have to replace you at some point.

You're a fixture around here. That's not gonna be easy.

I'm a fixture.

Isn't this fixture feeling appreciated right now?

Well now that I know, we can keep on the lookout

for someone to step into your job.

Oh.

We have Trish here with us.

Maybe she can do it.

[Julie] Oh, you really think Trish is up for taking my job?

That's what I'm trying to say.

Good workers don't just fall from the trees.

That's why you should've told me.

Full credit to Trish for letting me in on the secret.

[Rachel] Okay, last ones.

No I, I told you, we get the girls out.

Oh, I am not flashing my boobs for anything.

Not bubbly. Not cheap bubbly.

All right maybe but let's just finish these ones first.

Cheers.

Mm.

Speaking of flashing,

has Jake said anything?

Oh, god. Did he tell you about that?

About what?

What Tania did it the last away game.

Other team are heading for a certain try,

Tania does the boob flash,

the guys drop the ball stone dead.

Knock on.

Knockers on more like it.

[laughs] Good one.

Mm. It's amazing what you'll do

-in the heat of the moment. -What do you mean?

Sorry.

You are in so much trouble.

[Camel] Hey. Rachel, isn't it?

-[Rachel] Yeah. -[Camel] Camel.

Sorry I didn't recognize you with your top on.

-[Jake] Camel! -What?

-Did you flash-- -[Rachel] No!

It was a feminist statement.

[Tania] Oh, Jake, that was such a great game.

That try you scored, brilliant.

-Totally awesome. -Ah Tania--

[Tania] Can I get you a drink?

Or are you hungry?

I can get you something to eat.

Actually my friend's been waiting for me

so I better make sure she's okay.

You know she doesn't even like football.

Oh, I like football.

[Tania] Oh, she got here when the game was already over.

So shoot me, I'm here now.

She perved on your guys in the locker rooms.

She's not even wearing any undies.

Oh, shut up, you skank!

[Jake] Whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Calm down. She's just kidding.

Can we please just go?

I'm sorry, I can't.

I'm with Rachel.

[Chynna] How about we go and check out the undies stand.

Ah don't waste your money on that rubbish.

-What are you drinking? -[Chynna] Good luck.

[Camel] So when they say no undies,

-what exactly do they mean? -[Tania] Oh, leave it Camel.

Good luck with what?

Oh, so you're talking to me now are you

after ignoring me all afternoon?

Right, so I'm in trouble, aren't I?

Do I get the chance to grovel?

Is it the thrill of the chase?

Is that what it is?

You know it's like a little game

and I keep saying no

and you always have to be the one who wins?

No.

Then why invite me to a football game

and spend the entire afternoon ignoring me

and hanging out with your team mates?

I didn't ask you. You invited yourself.

It was a way of showing me that this is a big mistake.

Yeah. 'Cause it seems like

we spend most of our time insulting each other.

But then I talked to your friend Chynna...

What?

What did she say?

I just want you to tell me what this is.

Women like to spend a lot of time chatting.

It's like your place the other day.

What is that supposed to mean?

Well, everyone's there for a full on summit meeting

on what to name a baby.

I mean seriously is it that difficult?

But you don't think a name is an important thing?

No, it's just making things more complicated

than they are.

Look, okay,

maybe you're right.

Part of me thinks I wouldn't have a chance in hell

at getting someone like you.

But I'm not after a trophy.

So what then?

What do you think?

Why does someone put in so much, so much groundwork?

Uh, is that what today was?

-Oh. -Groundwork.

-Hmm. -[Jake chuckles]

[sighs]

I like you.

That's it. End of story.

You've gone bright red.

-Have not. -Yes, you have.

Yeah. Well, I've been running around

on the footy field all day.

-You like me. -Yeah.

I just said that, didn't I?

Yes, you did.

And for that,

you get to take me on a proper date.

And it doesn't need to be more complicated than that,

does it?

[singer] ♪ Rapturous kiss ♪

♪ Underneath This one bridge ♪

♪ Woke me up from my sleep ♪

♪ Even with my ease ♪

[Trish] How about I cook dinner tonight?

[Julie] It's fine. I've already taken something

-out of the freezer. -[Sammy] Hey, how was work?

Oh, well, it didn't take us

nearly as long as we thought it would, thank goodness.

Julie, I'm sorry.

What for?

[Trish] I mean, I didn't know

that you hadn't said anything to Don.

There's no way that I would've said anything otherwise.

But you know for the record,

I think it's very unfair that you're taking it out on me.

I mean Don has a point.

He deserves to know that he needs to find a replacement.

You spent all day flirting with the boss

and now you're gonna tell me how to be the model employee?

I think it's best if we just drop the subject.

[Trish] Well, especially if you're gonna turn it

into a personal attack.

[Julie] Pers--I--

No, I am just stating the facts, Trish.

You were sitting on his desk!

Every time I-- I wanted you to do something,

you were sitting on his desk!

Uh, no offence, mom, but that is wrong on so many levels.

[Julie] You know we have gone out of our way to help you.

The whole family has welcomed you into this home

and this is how you say thank you

by blurting out my private business

and then trying to justify it!

[Melissa] How long will they give him before, um...

-The old Green Dream? -[door opens]

The final Doghouse.

-Big Lamppost in the sky. -[door closes]

[Carbo] All right. Okay, stop it, okay?

I can't take it anymore.

Look, stop making me feel so guilty.

I love dogs, all right?

Normally, I love them.

But it was us or it was him.

Someone has to make the tough decisions.

I can't take it anymore. Seriously.

[Melissa gasps] hey. Hey, boy,

you're still here.

I couldn't do it.

Look, I got there right outside

and the look in his eyes,

I couldn't do it. I had to bring him home.

And that doesn't mean he's allowed to run wild, okay?

He stays out of mom's room

and it's not my job to pick up his landmines.

Carbo, I love you so much right now,

I'll pick up your landmines.

It's a joke by the way.

[Carbo] No, I figured.

Thank you.

Hey, where's his lead?

[Carbo] No, I left it on the doorknob.

[barks]

-Doorknob? -[barks]

You left it on the doorknob?

[barks]

Hey, what do you reckon?

That's amazing. That's his name.

Doorknob it is.

[barking]

Oh, it never makes you feel any better.

Blowing your stack? Every now and again it does.

Oh, well, this isn't one of those times.

I mean, I want to help Trish, I really do

but I've just, you know, I've got to the point

where I feel like I need to be selfish.

I spent the whole day today feeling stressed.

That's not good.

It's not good for me or the baby.

Maybe we should book Trish

into a motel room for a couple of nights

just so she can get things sorted out?

-Oh, no, is that fair? -Well--

[Julie] I mean, her money's not gonna last forever

and that's all she has.

And if she can't hold down a data entry job at Barrett's,

what hope's she got in the real world?

[Dave] Well, she'll get there eventually.

I mean, it can't be easy.

She just thought she knew where her life was going

and suddenly she had to reassess everything.

[Ben] Hey guys.

Guess what?

The dog stays and, uh, it's Doorknob, by the way,

not Ringo.

So have you got any leftover mince

or anything in the fridge?

-[Julie] Uh, yeah. -Where?

In the fridge.

Sorry, what were you saying about reassessing?

I don't know, it's just hard to face up to things

just when you thought you had them all figured out.

-Trish-- -Don't worry.

I know you've come to ask me to leave

and I don't blame you.

You're right.

You've bent over backwards for me

and I've taken advantage.

Trish, I'm sorry. It's just...

It's just we've got so many people living here and...

I'm sorry too. I really am.

And you're right about Don.

You know, all that and hanging on his every word,

it's how Trish Westaway got by all the time.

Trish Newman.

Who the hell is she, anyway?

Work in progress?

Complete disaster.

Look, it's not an easy thing you're facing up to,

I know that.

It's not your problem.

By tomorrow, I promise I'll be out of your hair.

No. No.

No, Julie, it's fine. I don't blame you at all.

I want you to stay.

Just till you get back on your feet.

Julie, thank you.

[Dave] Jules.

Jules.

Oh, excuse me.

Summer is on the phone.

Oh.

Hello. Summer, hi.

[gasps]

Oh, congratulations! That's fantastic!

When?

Yeah? Oh, that's great.

And the baby's good, everything's perfect?

Great.

Sorry?

Oh, well no that's up to you I suppose.

No, it's fine.

Listen, I can hear the baby crying.

I probably should let you go.

Yeah, thanks. Bye.

She's stolen my name.

-What? -Summer.

She's had a boy and she's called it Finnegan.

That was my name. I told her that was my name.

She knew that.

[Dave] Well, I don't think we took a patent out on it.

No, you cannot steal someone else's name, Dave.

What planet are you from?

Well, we don't even know for sure if Finnegan

is gonna be a boy.

Well if it is, it is his name!

Well can't they both have the same name?

Oh...

Well, look, I reckon they've done him a favor.

Oh, Finnegan Rafter was gonna be an alcoholic, I know.

What's in a name? I mean honestly...

Oh, I...

It's just a string of letters,

vowels and consonants.

Get over it.

I liked Finnegan.

I mean, can it really shape who you are?

Change the person you were meant to be?

[dog barking]

[boy] Mommy.

I was just a little kid, Jules.

A baby.

I was just...

I was trying to open the door.

[Julie] What?

I have to know their names.

[Julie] Whose names?

But I didn't think it mattered.

I've lived this long without knowing but it...

Something happened back then. Something...

Something that might've affected my whole life.

I've got to know my parents' names, Jules.

[Julie] What's in a name?

I have to open that door.

[Julie]Everything, apparently.

[mellow music playing]

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