Original subtitles

[upbeat music playing]

[dog whimpers]

[woman] Dust. It's here, it's there.

It's everywhere. It's like a never-ending battle.

Well finally dust has just met its match.

It's time to meet the amazing Go-Duster.

[Dave] Rachel?

Aren't you getting a bit old for this?

What?

Date watch.

I couldn't sleep.

I have a daughter too, you know. Your wife.

Yeah well this bloke's mature.

He's closer to my age than Rachel's apparently.

[Ted] Are you telling me

you wouldn't be sitting here whatever his age?

Rachel's not had a good run with blokes lately.

[Ted] No, but nothing changes

and they never thank you for it.

How was your night anyway?

Oh good. Good.

Marjorie there? Helen?

-No. -Come on, mate,

you've got to accept the date with one of those girls soon.

They must be short of breath with all the chasing.

You should save your advice for your daughter.

Or better still, get to bed.

Mind you, I couldn't talk.

I remember the first time Dave came around to pick up

Julie. Made him open his wallet.

-Five condoms. Five. -[laughs]

Talk about a boy scout.

Oh dear.

Who knows, if I hadn't confiscated them,

maybe no Rachel, no wedding,

no any of this.

I think they call it the domino effect.

[door opens]

[Julie] Darling, come to bed.

[Dave] It's getting cold out there.

So come where it's warm.

She shouldn't be too much longer.

[Julie] Oh. Didn't you learn your lesson ten years ago?

Marc Antico.

Oh not that old one.

Oh it's hard to forget. Frisking the poor kid

for condoms.

Blame your dad. I learnt from him.

[Julie laughs]

Oh Dave, for heaven's sakes.

Oh his car's okay.

Not too flash, that's good.

Get ... Oh...

[Dave] Oh, and he's straight out of the car.

That's also good.

Moving around to the door ...

Oh, this is ridiculous.

One more second and I'll be able to see him.

Come on.

No way.

What?

No way! I know him!

Rob Dunstan. I used to play cricket with him years ago.

-Remember? -Um...

"Dumbo" we called him.

Dumbo? His ears look fine to me.

Who said anything about his ears?

Oh.

He had a different girl every weekend.

He made Shane Warne look like a monk.

Well, you know, as you said that was years ago.

People change.

[dramatic music playing]

Dave!

You still up, dad?

Yeah. Good show, this.

[Rachel] Miracle leg-hair removal?

-Mm. -You are a surprising thing.

Ah, nice night, sweetheart?

And mom too.

-[sighs] -What is this?

An insomniac convention?

[laughs] No, just fetching your dad. Good film?

[Rachel] Actually, yes. A moving examination

of inter-racial marriage in post-Taliban Afghanistan.

Bit late for a film.

A long moving examination of inter-racial marriage

in post-Taliban Afghanistan. Goodnight.

-Night. -[Dave] Night.

[Rachel] And dad,

it's really none of your business what Rob and I

are doing together. Whatever it is.

[Dave] None of my business?

As if being her father for twenty-five years counts

-for nothing. -You should've told her

-you knew him. -Oh yeah.

and let on we'd been spying through the blinds?

Look, she's just met the guy. She doesn't need us

-complicating things. -Well I know what

I would've done if one of my old mates would've

-tried it on with you. -Oh dad you're not helping.

I brought half this stuff out here.

You know what I mean.

All I'm saying is that it'd pay to keep an eye on things.

Yeah. All right. Well, just easy does it.

You know what Rachel's like about her privacy.

Hey dad, we're going to be really glad we did this.

All the cables and stuff's run easily along

-that side wall now. -Yeah.

Anyway, just console yourself with the fact

that Rachel and Rob are not having sex.

[Dave] And you're the expert here because.

A mother can tell. There's a certain glow.

[Dave] Yeah well I sure hope you're right because the idea

of "Dumbo" Dunstan and my daughter, it's...

-Oh, ew. -Hey.

Hey um mom had one of these. They're worth a fortune.

Really? Can't be. It's ours. [laughs]

[Sammy] No, they're worth something.

Where did you get it?

-Uh... -[Ben] Hey.

Picked it up in some old junk shop?

[Sammy] Should get it valued maybe.

[Ben] Have a look on eBay. They'll give you an idea

-how much they go for. -[Julie] Hm.

Hey, my old cars. Haven't seen these in years.

[Dave] Uh, they were mine first remember?

Oh! That makes them real antiques then.

-Can I take them? -Ah yeah as long as

you look after them.

Hey, what's with the old punching-bag?

[Rachel] Hey Granddad. Phone. For you.

Not a word, dad.

Tonight?

Oh Marjorie I, I don't think I can manage it.

Yeah, yeah we have this sort of ah roster thing here

and it's my night to cook.

Oh yeah, yeah I just, I just love the Boat Club's

Surf and Turf, I wish I could.

Another time maybe? Yeah, yeah bye for now.

Well, I thought you were lots of things but never a chicken.

[Ted] Well, you know the Boat Club's Surf and Turf?

My digestion couldn't handle it.

I have seen you down half a cow in less than a chomp.

You're scared.

I don't want to give her the wrong impression.

And what impression would that be?

Well, it's, I just don't want to be hogtied.

I mean...I mean it's the same with Helen.

They get this sort of look in their eyes like

they're on the hunt.

The last of the great romantics, Granddad.

I don't mind if it's... if it's a gang,

but when there's just the two of us,

they'll start getting ideas.

In the last week with Rob, I have realized

that if you're not hung up on finding "The One",

it's actually fun. So just have fun.

Don't over complicate it. Live life, remember?

[Ted] Suddenly I had my own problems

with the opposite sex.

And I was getting advice from Rachel, not giving it.

-She's not there. -Ah.

[Ted] Marjorie. Yes, yes I've, I've managed to, ah,

rearrange the roster.

Not complicated at all.

[Ted] If Rachel had only known how complicated

it was about to become, she mightn't have been

so chirpy.

Rob was a pretty good batsmen if I remember correctly.

He gave up cricket when he got married.

Bloody hope he got divorced.

See you.

Bye, bye darling. Are you in for dinner?

Ah not sure. I'll let you know.

Hey Rachel.

Um...

Ah nothing just we'll see you tonight.

Bye.

-[Dave] Bye. -Trust me,

if he is still married, you have my permission

to go for it. In fact, I'll join you.

Come on, come on.

Whose bag is that?

[Ben] It's Dad's. Mum says he bought it around

the time Rachel started dating.

-[Melissa] Hey. -Hey. How was work?

Would you believe fully sick'.

Good one.

No, I mean literally, Three patients threw up on me.

-[groans] -Hey! So this pretty much

cleared out the kitty, so can you all put your share

in when you can? And Kat, have you given

Carbo rent yet?

Oh, good morning Kat, how are you? I'm good.

You know, rent, money for lodging.

Mel, it's cool. You know, she'll give it to you

when she's got it.

End of the week. I promise.

In the meantime, how about a foot massage every night

on me?

-[Carbo] Oh sure. -Well, me too?

[Kat] If that's okay with Melissa?

[Carbo] See? All sorted.

Renters pay rent, Carbo.

Kat does foot massages, Mel.

Beep beep. Vroom.

[Ben] Spew central huh?

-I'm used to it. -What's wrong?

Nothing. What do you think?

I just need a shower.

Hey, what's with the Rocky fantasy?

Ah! We found it when we were clearing out dad's garage.

You should try it sometime. It helps.

Don't make me out to be the snarky woman here.

You both voted Kat into the house.

Have the guts to tell her when she owes money.

[Helen] Yoo-hoo! Ted!

-[Ted] Oh, hi! -Hi.

Good to see you. How've you been?

Oh good. It's so funny I should run into you.

I was just thinking about you.

Is that right?

Yeah. Look are you, are you free for a movie tomorrow?

I just won tickets on the radio

and I've just picked them up.

That is unless you're busy

or you've got family commitments ...

No, no, no, no, shame to let free tickets go.

-That'd be good. -Six o'clock then?

Fine by me.

Six on the dot then. You buy the choc-tops.

Course.

[Ted] From free man to dates two nights running.

I was hoping Rachel hadn't given me bum advice.

So we're talking a print job here?

-Precisely. -How much is that going

-to cost? -[Julie] Oh! Do you know

there's a plate here on eBay, the same as ours,

three hundred and twenty bucks.

Is that an incidental comment or an offer of funds?

Wish me luck.

Oh dad, you don't need it. You look very handsome.

[Nathan] Go Granddad.

I'm a bit out of practice with all of this.

You out to make an impression, mate?

Mm, you look sharp. You look really sharp.

-Nathan. -We won't be waiting up.

[Ted] Ah is this shirt all right?

Dad, you look great. Don't listen to them.

You just go and have a nice night.

No don't listen to us. You look great. You are on fire.

[Ted] Hardly the way I felt at all.

Dad.

[Ted] Rachel on the other hand...

Hi Granddad. Hi mom.

Isn't it a beautiful evening?

Oh ,mom, where do you keep that Italian recipe book

that we got you for Christmas?

Uh. Ah, bookshelf. Top right. Why?

Just something I want to cook for Rob.

Oh and there are some books here.

They're damaged stock. Rob sent them.

Isn't he thoughtful?

Hi dad.

Hi.

[Julie] You know how I said a mother can tell?

The glow?

Serious glow.

[Ted] Last time Dave fronted one of Rachel's boyfriends,

he ended up in hospital.

It's the sort of thing that makes you think twice.

Then there's that final straw.

I left something at a job. I'll be home soon.

[Rob] Can I help you?

Uh, yep.

Cellulite Solutions.

Oh, sorry. Must've picked the wrong one up.

Actually don't...don't I know you? It's, it's Rob, isn't it?

Yeah.

Rob Dunstan.

-Dave Rafter! -[chuckles]

I thought I knew the face.

Carrs Park second eleven. You've got to be kidding me.

Dumbo Dunstan. No way.

Enough with the Dumbo. I haven't heard that

in a long while.

-Hey, this is amazing. -[Rob] Yeah.

After twenty years, it sure is.

So, a book shop eh? It's not, not where I pictured you

and unless of course all the magazines

are sealed in plastic.

I've got to say, Dave, I didn't have you picked

for a cellulite risk either.

Let me just cut right to it.

I'm here about Rachel.

I believe you know my, my daughter Rachel?

Ah.

Rafter. Carrs Park.

I'm sorry. I, I didn't make the connection.

Well, she didn't mention me then?

[Rob] No. Does she know you're here?

No it's just us. Man to man.

Old mates.

Yeah, which makes it a little bit strange.

Anyway I'm just here to tell you that the last thing

she needs right now is the run around from some older bloke

who has problems keeping his fly zipped.

Okay. Older I can handle. The zip thing?

I'm not that guy anymore.

No, that's right. You, um, you got married.

Yeah, now I'm divorced.

Oh, well that's one problem out of the way.

-With kids. -Kids?

Yeah. Boys. Twelve and thirteen.

I grew up, Dave. I was married for fifteen years.

Right. So no daughters then?

-No. -So you don't know what

-it's like, do you? -I know that Rachel's

old enough to make her own choices.

Well, that she had a rough trot with her last bloke?

-Yes, she told me. -Yeah, but she didn't mention

who her father was, did she?

No, but hopefully we'll be seeing a bit more

of each other if things work out.

If it does.

I'm not counting on it, mate.

Anyway, I reckon I've had my say.

Made myself plain.

I reckon I was just about to close up.

Right.

Dave?

I believe in being open. I'll let her know I saw you.

Yeah, well, Rachel and I talk too.

[Rob] Good luck then.

I imagine she does good moral outrage.

[dramatic music playing]

You just couldn't help yourself, could you?

[Dave] Rachel, trust me, you don't need this right now.

You couldn't come and talk to me like any sane parent.

"Rach, you know what? I know Rob

and he's almost my age and I'm a little bit

uncomfortable with that." No, no,

-you had to go confront him! -So shoot me!

I'm just trying to protect you.

-From what? -Well, your, your mother

-thought... -No, no, hang on you got this

all by yourself. Don't drag me into it.

No, you, you were the one who brought up the glow.

What glow?

[Julie] Can we talk about this privately?

We're just gonna eat dinner outside.

[Rachel] No, no, no, you two should hear this.

When are you going to stop trying to run my life?

I'm not trying to run your life. I just care about you.

That's not caring, dad, it's interfering.

She's not a teenager anymore, darling.

Oh, all right when it all falls apart

and she's in tears,

who's going to pick up the pieces then eh?

[Rachel] Excuse me could you two do me the courtesy

of talking about me as though I'm actually in the room.

You know I'm not sixteen anymore, so ...

That's right, sixteen. What's that? Ah, that's

three years older than his eldest,

four years older than his youngest.

-[Julie] Rob's got children? -Yeah. Two teenage boys.

Oh, you didn't mention that with mature and sensitive.

-What? "Fertile"? -And what if Rob

doesn't want anymore children?

I cannot believe we're even talking about this! Mom,

I have known the man a week and who says I want to have

-kids anyway? -Well, I want to be

-a grandmother. -Well, then go

and hassle Nathan and Sammy about it.

Just leave me to live my own life, please.

[door slams shut]

I don't blame you.

What?

Defense training. Now you're back on night shift.

This is for exercise.

Come on it's me you're talking to.

I'm still having the nightmares.

Well, you looked down a gun barrel. It takes time.

I don't want people worrying.

Any time you need...

I got two. They both work.

Come on Tyson. Next round.

Mel doesn't mean to be tough on you.

Yeah, I know. It's a girl thing.

It'll get sorted.

Ooh, that is good.

Oh, you are real good.

Oh...

-Hi baby. -Chrissy.

Kat was just giving my legs a deep tissue massage

and she has the touch.

Oh, I bet she does.

[Carbo] Oh, I'm going to grab a shower.

[Kat] Amazing science reflexology.

It connects points in your feet

to every organ in the human body.

Amazing. Hey, would you like one?

No, thanks.

Hey you should have these. Here.

Free samples. Don't say I never give you anything.

Oh, wouldn't dream of it.

[Kat] It's really good if you're looking a little bit

wrinkly. Especially around the eyes.

[phone ringing]

Oh.

Sorry, I've got to take this.

"Kat's" a good name for her.

Yeah. How did you get this number?

-You get the same vibe? -Ooh,

she's definitely not a girl's girl.

Thank you. Ben won't hear a word against her.

Oh, she's such a type.

But you know we say anything, we look paranoid.

My advice you just live with it.

Believe me I'm trying.

Telemarketers. Ooh, I'm starving.

Thanks. Hey Chrissy,

I totally get the younger guy thing

'cause I massage older people all the time and they just...

they lose muscle tone. Mm. Thanks. This is great.

[Marjorie] I'm so glad you agreed to come out tonight.

I didn't want to be at home alone.

[Ted] Nothing good on the telly, eh?

No, it's the third anniversary

of Richard's death.

Ah...

Oh no, it's all right. I mean you weren't to know.

I just like the way that you always talk about Louise

and wanted to be with someone who understands that those

feelings never die. I mean, even if you develop

new ones they, they never go away, do they?

No, they don't.

And, you're not a philanderer like some of the others

in the group. A pack of would be Don Juan's

most of them.

No, I can't think of anyone I'd rather be with tonight.

Well, in that case, how about another drink?

Oh, thanks.

And give us a schooner and a lemon, lime and bitters.

-How's it going? -Mate, I feel bad

for being such a grouch about it.

Tonight was just what Marjorie needed by the sound

of things.

Here we are. So...

[Ted] Suddenly Dave wasn't the only one in the family

whose night was getting complicated.

Bloody hell.

-Who's that? -Tomorrow night's.

-Date? -Yes.

Oh granddad, you dog.

Senior scrag fight. Bring it on.

Marjorie doesn't need this. She just got through saying

how great it was that I don't play the field.

And she's a bit down. Oh, here we go.

Just say you're here with someone else.

Yeah, yeah and then she'll bust her boiler

trying to find out who it is and then it'll be all over

the place that I'm the local Casanova.

Just explain it to them.

Mate, they're women.

Ah, I see your point.

Stay with me.

What a lovely surprise.

Ah, the vision splendid.

[laughs] You remember Deanna and Grace from Friend Finders.

-Ladies. -[Grace] Hello.

Why don't you join us?

Oh, now that's a lovely idea.

Ah, no can do, I'm sorry.

I'm just here delivering a message to my grandson.

I can't stay. Unfortunately.

-There's always tomorrow. -6:00 PM.

On the dot.

[Ted] Oh, oh. Ah, Helen this is my grandson Ben.

Ben this is Grace and Deanna.

-Hello. -[Ted] How about we get

the girls a nice drink my shout.

Oh, that's lovely.

[laughs] Now just fix up the bill

and keep them here as long as possible.

He's a wiz at the cocktails.

Mm.

Till tomorrow.

Till tomorrow.

He is such a sweet man.

Sweet as...

Just a bit hard to pin down.

Ah, the vision splendid.

Bet you say that to all the girls.

Yeah. Look, I, I was thinking

it's such a lovely evening out. Why don't we have

a walk and, and have a coffee at that little place

-down the way. -Oh, I'd like that.

I thought you might.

-What about the bill? -All fixed.

You're a bit impetuous, aren't you?

You could say that. Ah! No.

This way. This way. It's quicker.

If I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying

-to get me alone. -You have no idea.

What's best?

How about a Fast Exit?

Oh, I don't know. What's in it? I don't like

them too strong.

Lucky Escape? Near Miss?

Are they actually on this list?

Oh, sorry you want one from the list?

Here, this is what we've got.

How about a Fluffy Duck?

[Rachel] Um. it's hard to say what the vibe is.

It's sort of currently plaster board meets Renovation Rescue.

Yeah, he gave me the key.

No, it doesn't mean anything.

I can say he doesn't exactly have the best tableware

in the world but if there's one thing I'm good at it

is presentation.

Perfect. Look Lib, I've got to get going.

But thank you so much for all your help.

You've been a life savour. Bye honey.

[dramatic music playing]

[doorbell rings]

Hi.

Hi. I'm the ex-wife, Pauline.

-I'm Rachel. -The... current girlfriend?

Well, uh, no, the, the friend, ah...

-[Pauline] Is Rob here? -No.

Oh, he's not answering his mobile phone.

[Rachel] He is at the store.

He's just waiting on some deliveries.

He shouldn't be too long.

No, no, no, no, sorry, sorry, sorry my mother

has gone into hospital and I really need Rob

to take care of these two for a day or so.

Hey you couldn't mind them for me, could you?

Until he gets back? You don't look like

you've been on any Wanted lists.

[laughter]

[Pauline] Here, look, I've packed them a few things.

This is Toby. And...

[Rachel] Rhys! Yes, your dad's told me

-all about you guys. -[Pauline] Now, you guys

will behave yourselves for Rachel, all right?

Smells great in there by the way. What are you cooking?

Oh, it's an Italian lamb casserole.

Followed by a cheesecake.

Ah, Rob's eating dairy again?

I... Look, sorry, sorry that, don't worry about it.

I mean with you as the chef, I'm sure he will eat anything

you put in front of him. Bye. Have fun.

[Rachel] Okay well, well Toby, Rhys ...

I guess you guys better come in.

-Bye. -[Rachel] Bye.

[Toby] Got anything to eat?

You can have some of this if you like.

[Rhys] Is that what we're having?

Mm-hm.

[Rhys] Looks like diarrhea.

Yet surprisingly tasty.

[Toby] Did dad get any vegemite?

[Rhys] Or corn chips?

Useless.

There's some chicken liver pate?

Whoa, Rhys, maybe you want to put your trainers

outside just to air them out a bit. No offense.

Yeah. You know you're hotter than the last one.

Thank you.

Yeah, but she was a cow.

I'm sure she wasn't.

-Well, did you know her? -No.

Then you wouldn't know then. We got any cola?

I'll just get you a glass.

Oh no I got one.

Just watch the... Oh! [groans]

-[Toby] I'm sorry. -[Rachel groans]

Hey, Toby, can you just watch what... Rhys...

Oh! Salt.

[Rhys] Um, it was an accident.

I'm sure it was.

Anyone for some salt in their diarrhea?

-[Toby] Let me have a go. -[Rhys] No, stop hogging it!

[Rachel] Your dad'll be home in a minute.

[Toby] Why do we always have to watch...

Guys can you just share it, please.

-[Toby] Get it. -[Rhys] Loser.

[Rachel] Hey! Hey. Come on. Give it to me.

-You idiot. -[Rhys] Give it to me.

That is enough! Watch the table!

Stop that right now!

-You all right? -Pauline, um...

[Rob] Yeah she got hold of me.

Apologize to Rachel.

-Sorry. -Yeah, sorry.

[Rob] Now get to your rooms. I don't wanna hear another word.

I wanted everything to be perfect.

Everything is perfect.

At least I'm hotter than the other one.

According to Rhys.

She was a cow.

That's what Toby said.

That's my boy.

I just wanted to protect you from this for at least

-another week. -Baptism of fire.

-[Rhys] Hey! Give it back! -Big time.

[Rhys] Dad!

[Ted] And while Rachel was jumping a few stages

in her romance, I was trying to keep ahead

of a certain person's designs on me.

Well, I don't like anything too soppy.

Oh, there's lots of action in it.

But quite honestly it's just lovely to have you

to myself. You are a very busy man,

-Ted Taylor. -Popcorn.

-Mm. -Ted!

Looks like you're heading where I'm heading.

Candy Bar. G'day I'm Carbo.

Ah, Carbo's my grandson Ben's best mate.

Oh, nice to meet you. Helen.

A pleasure. Hey, um, you wanna sit together?

Oh, why not. I don't see enough young people. Ted?

Yeah, the more the merrier.

Cool. Well, um, that's Chrissy. Go say hi.

Okay. Um, just a small popcorn and maybe an orange juice?

Be good to have something vaguely nutritious.

She wants to crash tackle you, mate.

-You noticed? -Yeah.

[Chrissy] Now Julie's told me all about you.

-Oh, you know Ted's daughter? -Yeah, we work together.

Oh, how nice. And, and she mentioned me?

Well, she just said that you had a lovely dinner together

last night. Two nights in a row hey?

You must be pretty keen.

[Ted] I was a dead man.

I just didn't know it yet.

It's only me.

[Julie] Oh, that was a short movie.

[gasps] What happened?

Dad, that's not orange juice on your shirt, is it?

Orange juice.

What's that in your hair?

-Popcorn. -[Julie] Oh.

[Ted] I'm through with women. I'm shutting up shop!

-Ooh. -You sound like you mean it,

-Ted. -And I'm not even married

-to the woman. -[Julie] Oh.

I'll see you in the morning.

-It's not funny. -No, it's not.

-Stop it. -It's not funny at all.

Stop.

-Nathan? -No, it's me.

-Oh. -I thought you weren't home

-tonight. -Cooking Italian for Rob,

-weren't you? -Rob's kids came over

-unexpectedly. -Oh.

-Right. -No,

but they were really great boys.

Loads of fun. Really fantastic.

[Dave] But with the kids around you and Rob couldn't...

No, it's not a problem, dad.

It just takes a bit of adjusting to, that's all.

So, I have said that I will look after them tomorrow

till Rob finishes work.

-Oh. -Ah.

But I also have a presentation due Monday

so I thought if it's okay I'd bring them around here.

That is all right, isn't it?

Oh, not a problem.

Yep, that's ah that's fine.

Thank you very much. Okay, goodnight.

-See you in the morning. -[Dave] Yep.

[Julie] Mmm-hmm.

[Rachel] You were right, kids are a handful.

-[laughs] -"You were right."

Three such simple words.

Oh, don't be premature.

-You know how stubborn she is. -Oh,

I'm going to savor the moment.

[upbeat music playing]

[Ted] The next day while I licked my wounds...

[Ben] G'day, granddad. How was your date?

Not a word.

Dave was using an innocent game of cricket

to get the inside spin on Rob.

Whoa.

Hey, good swing on that.

Did your old man teach you?

Yeah, right.

Yeah, he was pretty good in his day.

Hey, Toby, grab the ball.

-He hates cricket. -[Dave] Oh, well, Rachel's

brother's got some pretty groovy video games

back at his place, so

I'll take you back there later on.

Hey, you know how to bowl a flipper?

All right, come here.

Okay you've got to put your fingers across the seam there

so they come out the back of your hand--

I'm gonna head back.

Yeah, all right, mate. We'll catch you up.

Hey Toby what are you doing back here?

-Hey that's work stuff! -I saved a copy first.

-[Rachel] You did? -[Toby] Yeah, on desktop.

[Rachel] [sighs] Sorry.

Sorry, I... I've just been

working on this for days and I...

Hey how did you get that cool 3D effect?

It's easy. You just...

That's great!

But I couldn't really figure out

how you got the reflective metallic look.

-It's-- -Uh-huh.

That is called cheating.

Um...

Cool!

I can show you some more if you like?

[Dave] Hey, guys.

Hey.

Thirsty work, cricket.

I got some juice. It's in the fridge.

Oh, and I made a whole bunch of sandwiches,

just help yourselves.

Okay so if you just click on this icon here...

-[Rob] Hey. -[Rachel] Hey.

[Rob] So you had a good day, huh?

We had a great day.

Now here's some software for you to practice with.

Wow! Thanks!

Hey, dad, they've got Gran Turismo.

-It's awesome. -He was thrashing us.

Take him home. Ben, hi.

Thought I'd better check you out.

Hope I pass muster.

Yeah, well your kid rocks at Gran Turismo

so you can't be all bad.

No, you hang onto that.

Just practice every day, all right?

-Thanks. -See you later.

-See ya. -See you.

Yeah, our old club's got a junior squad.

Maybe you should get in touch with it.

[Rob] I'll run it by him.

Ah, look I wasn't thinking straight the other day.

It's fine. And I think I know

-where you were coming from. -Yeah.

Well, I'll see you again. Maybe.

It was good catching up.

-Bye Julie. -[Julie] Bye, Rob.

Hey I got distracted with Toby

so do you mind if I stay here

and finish my presentation?

Well, as long as I've got you tomorrow.

[Julie] It looks like things could work out after all.

What? The whole instant family thing?

-You reckon? -That went good, yeah?

Yeah.

-See you. -Rachel's way too young.

Not as young as she was

when I was playing cricket with Rob.

You know I just can't get it out of my head,

her running around in pigtails and knee high socks,

while we were sharing a beer and Rob was telling us

how much he'd scored that week.

And I'm not talking runs.

Oh, I know darling.

But she's not a little girl anymore.

Yeah, she is to me.

[dramatic music playing]

[cricket chirping]

[Kat] There you go.

What I owe you plus a fortnight in advance.

Legend. This will stop Melissa's yapping.

Yeah, well I'm sure she means well.

[Ben] Mate, where's my Bugatti and my Jaguar?

-They're in there. -[Ben] No they're not.

[Carbo] Well, I'm sure I put them back.

Well, I think I did.

Maybe they're under the couch.

They better be.

These things are older than you are.

I'm looking after them for the next generation.

[Kat] Hey, well that kid was here.

Maybe the next generation's nabbed them already.

-Yeah. -He was playing Turismo

the whole time.

The only one playing with these was a big kid.

Snaky.

It's nothing to do with me is it?

No, no way.

Him and Mel. Same room, no action.

-No. -[Carbo] Mm.

Mate, they're not here.

Settle.

[Melissa] What?

I thought you were asleep.

I can hear you thinking.

It's not you.

I didn't say it was.

Carbo should have been more careful.

Ben, you're not still obsessing

about the cars, are you?

Don't you get it?

They're family heirlooms.

It's not about the money.

Okay, we'll have another look in the morning.

They haven't gone anywhere.

Hey...

It's okay.

I'm fine.

Night.

Night.

[dramatic music playing]

Here are your designs.

-Got them laminated. -Thanks.

[Rachel] What about that extra software I sent you?

Did you like it?

-I haven't checked. -[Rachel] Oh. Is this yours?

-Yeah but... -[Rachel] It should be here.

[Toby] I'll do that.

How long has this been going on?

It's nothing.

-Who's responsible? -Kids from school.

Stay out of it!

-How long? -A month.

Have you told your teachers?

Course not. And don't tell mom and dad

'cause they don't need to know about it.

[Rob] Ooh, who wants fish and chips?

[Rachel] Hey. Fish and chips?

I wouldn't say no.

-Tobes? -Not hungry.

[Rob] But you love fish and chips.

I said I'm not hungry!

-[door closes] -Oh, sorry about that.

He's been grouchy all morning.

I'll talk to him.

He's been getting them all week

and about five more came this morning.

Oh, it's so wrong.

Just because he's into design,

he has to deal with the whole gay cliche.

And I promised I wouldn't say anything.

And I just thought he was the moodier of the two.

[Rachel] It's really getting to him.

I should tell Rob

but then I'll be the evil step girlfriend.

Well, then just talk to Toby.

Make him see that his mom and dad can help.

I mean they, they can't do anything if they don't know.

God it's amazing the stuff you get on here.

All sorts of junk.

Oh, well one woman's junk

-is another woman's-- -[Julie] Oh.

---fine china. -[Julie] Look your dad

had a couple of cars like those...

Oh, hang on a second they are your dad's.

-Are you sure? -Yes it...

Look at the picture underneath.

-B.R.? -Ben Rafter.

He scratched his initials in years ago.

-Well, who's selling them? -Well, I don't know.

I'll check.

[Melissa] So Kat paid her rent in full,

two of Ben's cars go missing

and you can't see the connection?

I still think it's the kid.

But they're worth a lot of money those things

and she said she wouldn't have the cash till next week.

-Well, so she found the cash. -Hey, we're talking

four hundred bucks.

So you're saying Kat sold the cars?

Yeah, hello, two hundred bucks a piece.

That's four hundred bucks. They'd fetch that easy.

Three sixty, actually, as of ten minutes ago.

You're really out to get me, aren't you?

The cars are gone.

How else did you find the rent money?

You pressed me for it so I went and got it.

I'm telling you she stole the cars.

She didn't.

[Melissa] Can't you see what she's doing here?

[Ben] I can see what you're doing.

Every time, it's her word against mine,

and you take her side every time.

She didn't take the cars.

Mom saw them on eBay. That's all I know.

And it wasn't Kat who stole them.

You're wrong.

Every time, you're wrong, Mel.

[dramatic music playing]

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I took your cars.

[Ben] I thought we were mates.

I just saw them there.

-Yeah, and you stole then. -Guess you'll want this back.

No, not if you've learnt your lesson.

[Rob] Get back in the car, Rhys.

[Rob] Hey look I'm really sorry.

Ah, we all did stupid things when we were kids.

-[Rob] There you go. -Thanks.

I'll just, um, put them with the others.

No we've all had to apologize for our children.

Thanks for making it easy.

-Talk to you later? -All right.

-Bye. -Bye.

[car engine starts]

I love you.

No we're just two dads with kids who are playing up.

Hey, watch it.

-[Ted] All sorted? -Yeah.

Yeah, just then.

Where are you off to?

[Ted] Ah, Marjorie wants to see me.

And she didn't sound too happy.

What is it with this family and the opposite sex?

I don't know, mate.

So you heard then?

Orange juice.

Jumbo size.

[Marjorie] [laughs] Oh, God. I wish I'd been there.

So you could top it off with an ice cream?

[Marjorie] No, so I could see Helen's face.

That woman is her own worst enemy.

She's been banging on for weeks

about how she had a chance with you.

And then she goes and mucks it up

with one little jealous tanty.

I'm well out of it then.

No, it's a timely warning.

I mean we're adults for God's sake,

not superannuated school kids.

But you wouldn't know that

with the way some of them go on.

With me, what you see is what you get.

I call a spade a spade.

Why do I get the feeling you're about to do just that?

You're a nice man, Ted,

and I had a great time the other night,

but you know what the best thing was?

Putting two and two together.

I figured out what happened.

That mad dash to the door.

You did that to spare my feelings, right?

Yes I did.

See, that's the difference between Helen and me.

She saw a two-timer,

and I saw a nice man who was willing to act

as if he was in a bad West End farce

in order to spare my feelings.

So if it makes you feel any better, thank you.

You're welcome.

And any other time you want to ask me out,

I'm warning you, I'll probably say yes.

Warning taken.

-So, how about tomorrow night? -I'd love to.

[Ted] And as I was happily solving my problems...

the solution to Rachel's dilemma

suddenly became that bit clearer too.

Hey, Tobes, do you wanna check out my new design?

It is pretty damn fine if I do say so myself.

He did it for me.

-I'm sorry? -Rhys.

He stole the toy cars to bribe the bullies.

-Yeah, okay. -[Ted] And Ben started

taking a turn for the worst.

They've asked me to do a shift tonight.

See you when you get home then.

Have you apologized to Kat?

No, not yet.

Right.

Look, drop the tone, okay?

What? You think it's out of line for me

to have a tone here? You accused her of stealing.

I was wrong on this, yes, but I'm not stupid, Ben!

You haven't been there when she's just...

When she's what?

Forget it, all right? Just forget it.

-Hey. -Hey.

[Ben] What are you doing here?

-Just having a beer. -Uh-huh.

[Kat] I wasn't sure I wanted to be home when Mel was there.

Oh, she's been way out of line. Sorry.

Don't worry about it.

[Ben] There. On the house.

[Kat] Oh, thank you.

Hey, just give me a sec.

Hey mate, what can I get you?

Well, this isn't an easy place to find.

-Have you got it? -Don't, not here, okay?

Don't freak out, okay? I don't have all of it.

I have some expenses that I had to pay...

Here.

You told me you had the whole amount.

Yeah, well I don't have it. I need a couple more days.

That wasn't part of our deal.

[Kat] I will call you as soon as I have it.

Now where have I heard that before?

[Kat] Yeah, come on, please, back off, okay.

-I'll call you. -Hey, is there a problem here?

-Not for me. -Hey, my bar, mate.

Then why don't you go and mind your own business?

Hey, my customer, my bouncer.

That'd be right.

Pussy.

What'd you call me?

I called you a pussy.

Right. You and me. Outside.

-Ben... -[Ben] I said outside!

[indistinct chatter]

[security guard] Oi! Cut it out, mate.

That's enough.

You're out of here.

This ain't over.

That's it, keep walking.

I don't want to see your face back here again.

-I can't believe I did that. -[Kat] Neither can I.

My gosh you sounded like you meant it.

I think I did.

He's not a punching bag, Ben. He punches back.

-Yeah, hard I reckon. -Yeah, I reckon too.

Though I think it's my turn to buy you a drink.

I think I need one.

[laughs]

[Rob] I can't believe they didn't tell me.

I mean, I'm their father.

Exactly.

But you know how irrelevant that makes me feel?

In my own kids' lives.

At least you were there.

I did my best.

Thanks for telling me.

Yeah, they're your family.

You need to know.

And it seems you're family too.

[dramatic music playing]

Here's to me.

Big and macho...

Hero.

You just let those robbers

try and come back again.

You just let them.

I'll show them.

It's such a shame we met when we did.

What do you mean?

Um, you being with Melissa.

Oh, Melissa.

She doesn't, she doesn't get me.

I think I do.

-Yeah? -[Kat] Mmm-hmm.

[laughs]

I think we have

-a great connection. -Yeah?

[singer] ♪ The same dumb mistakes ♪

♪ I want ♪

♪ The same dumb mistakes I want ♪

♪ Meet me when you can at the bridge ♪

♪ Behind the fountain ♪

-It's twenty to 1:00. -Mm.

We should...we should go.

Not yet.

[singer] ♪ ...because The night will choke you ♪

♪ If we joke and we continue To talk this this ♪

♪ I'm scared We might be making ♪

♪ The same dumb mistakes ♪

♪ If we joke and we continue To talk like this ♪

♪ I'm scared We might be making ♪

♪ The same dumb mistakes ♪

♪ Let's stop this now ♪

♪ That you've got everything ♪

♪ And stop me now ♪

♪ I don't know anything ♪

♪ And help me out ♪

♪ 'Cause I want nothing But you... ♪

Ben...

Where've you been?

I've called your mobile like 12 times.

The bar.

It's 2:00 in the morning.

Sorry.

I'm sorry too.

[dramatic music playing]

[Ted] So as a new day dawned, I was cock of the walk.

[exhales]

[singer] ♪ It's in our nature ♪

-Good morning. -[Julie] Morning.

-[Nathan] Morning. -[Ted] Dave had come

to terms with his daughter

and the memories he had of his old mate.

[singer] ♪ It's in our nature ♪

[Ted] Rachel was starting to worry that

that instant family...

was more than she'd bargained for.

[singer] ♪ Send home you dogs ♪

[Ted] And Ben woke up with a legacy

of the previous night.

Hey.

Drink this.

You'll thank me.

[groans]

Hey, I've got something to say and don't interrupt.

I've been an absolute idiot

letting Kat get between us like that.

I was thinking about it all last night

and I just want us to be the way we were.

Ignore Kat.

I mean, don't ignore her but live with her.

She's okay.

We're okay, aren't we?

Yeah.

Sleep.

[singer] ♪ It's in our nature ♪

[Ted] And as the fog cleared,

he said it for all of us poor buggers

who've screwed up in one way or the other

in our time.

Shit.

[singer] ♪ It's in our nature ♪

[dramatic music playing]

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