Original subtitles

[Ben]Sometimes it's that moment

right before you wake up that's the most exciting.

What part of your life's going to start

when you open your eyes?

How's the story going to unfold

once you kick off the covers?

And more importantly, whose bed are you in?

[Melissa groans]

[Ben snores]

You're in my bed.

Yeah.

We didn't, did we?

Either that or we stripped off for a quiet lie down.

How did this happen?

Vodka.

And tequila shots.

So what happens now?

You go back to your room

while I lie here and quietly die.

No, now that this has happened?

I'm not doing friends with benefits,

-if that's what you're hoping. -No, no, no, no.

I-I-I don't want any complication.

We're housemates, Ben.

This can't happen again.

We're better off as friends.

And Carbo can't know.

He won't hear it from me.

I don't know what's worse,

the fact that she doesn't want me,

or that I probably had the best night of my life

and can't remember it.

You're leaching alcohol from your pores.

[Carbo] Ben? Melissa?

Benny? Hello?

Do you guys want a coffee or what?

Are you guys up yet?

Hello?

The offer's going to be withdrawn in a second.

Jeez, mate, you right?

Up and at them.

Did you hear me asking about coffee?

No, I did the...

Had... So no.

Why are you acting so weird?

[Ben] I'm not. I just...

I had a big night.

Oh, you reckon?

Couldn't half tell by the way you two

banged your way through the house last night.

Next time, keep the noise down.

Noise?

You tried the key in the door for five minutes,

then you hit every wall on the way in.

Poor Melissa.

I thought she was carrying you.

Next time no noise getting home.

Got it. So, what happened to that coffee?

[Carbo] Whoa! Check out that pash rash!

-Shut up. It is not. -Bull.

I know a pash rash when I see it.

-Come on, give us a squiz. -[Melissa] Get out of my face.

You scored quite a tongue lashing last night.

Check it out, Benno. At least one of us

is getting some action around here.

Oh, that guy must be a good kisser.

You're a lucky...

Where's that coffee?

[Carbo] Yeah, righto.

Not funny.

What was I supposed to say?

It won't happen again. Believe me.

Yeah you already said.

Bummer, we're out of milk.

[Ben] Yeah, oh, I think there's some UHT

-in the pantry. -[Carbo] Yeah, mate.

If we're going to be living under the same roof,

this can't happen again.

No more drinking together,

no more partying together and definitely...

Ah, Melissa, you want one?

Yeah that'd be great, thanks.

-So, friends? -[Ben] Yeah.

[Carbo] Right. Who wants a high maintenance mug?

-[Chrissy] Oi. -[Carbo] Yeah?

-You seen Julie? -[Carbo] No.

Oh we're supposed to be going for a walk,

and she's not answering the door.

Haven't seen her.

Now what's your name again?

-Carbo? Carport? -Carbo.

If you're wanting to hot up that engine,

-I wouldn't be doing that. -What?

No, you need to beef up the suspension,

overhaul the carburetor.

You get that right, you will have a hell

of a machine on your hands.

What, you're a rev head?

I am when it comes to chargers.

[laughs] What?

Well, I just didn't pick you.

Oh, because women aren't supposed

to know anything about cars.

I don't know many who do.

Oh, maybe you're not meeting the right women.

Well, you can say that again.

You, uh, going to give me a spin

in this beautiful machine of yours?

Try and stop me.

[whimsical music playing]

[Ben] See? This is good. I can handle friends.

I can handle pretty much anything

Melissa throws at me.

Especially when she looks like a bush pig

around the house.

I mean, talk about making it easy

for a guy to not be interested.

What are you reading?

[Melissa] You wouldn't be interested.

Of course I would.

I love reading about...

bikini bod secrets of the stars.

Right.

Hey, no one wants to be the fat fatty

at the beach, yeah.

Look, I just like switching off my brain sometimes.

Yeah, yeah course.

I wasn't judging you or anything.

You fancy a beer? Or whatever?

Something stronger?

Even if the hang over fairy

wasn't hitting my skull with a hammer,

we both agreed that was a bad idea.

Right. So that's, that's a no?

That's a firm no.

Raiding the pantry, Ben? Now there's a change.

If mom didn't want me to eat it,

she wouldn't keep making my favorite.

Oh, well, you'd better give me a slice then.

-Mmm-hmm. -Where is your mom?

I'm just returning the keys.

Oh, scamming cake again?

Surprise, surprise.

Hello, Granddad.

Afternoon, love.

I'm not scamming.

I just needed a breather from home.

Ooh, why?

Hanging out with Melissa.

-Hello. -Oh, not like that.

Oh, please, tell me there's another way you two hang out.

The sexual tension is unbearable.

Oh, it's just a mate's thing.

You know, having a chat, shooting the breeze,

catching up on the sex lives of Hollywood stars.

We're reading girly mags.

Oh, not that kind of girly mags, Granddad.

You know the, the ones with the clothes...

-The... -Fashion.

-Fashion. -Fashion.

Hairdos, um, celebrities

that look gross without makeup on.

-Ah, I am on to you. -What?

You're being wonderful, aren't you?

[Julie] Oh, hi, dad.

[Ted] Hi, love.

What are you two plotting?

Private conversation, Mom.

[Julie] Oh, well, if you want dinner tonight,

you can put up with me being in the kitchen, thanks.

Come on.

[Ted] Just returning the keys, love.

Hmm? Oh, no. Dad, keep them.

Don't want you to have to knock

every time you come to visit.

-You sure? -Yeah.

Actually, while you're at it, why don't you stay for dinner?

Miss having you around.

You are trying to get into Melissa's pants

by being the best guy friend she'll ever have.

-Oh, as if. -Oh, please.

It's the ultimate tactic.

You're going to hang around with her,

pretend to be interested in all the girly stuff

she's interested in,

and then when she comes crying to you

about some moron who's dumped her,

you're going to stick your tongue in her ear.

Oh! Graphic!

Tell me I'm wrong.

You are so wrong.

Oh, actually, I am quite impressed.

You know, if you really want to get into Melissa's pants,

there are definitely worse ways you could go about it.

Really?

So I am right.

You are really barking up the wrong tree with this one.

Melissa and I are just mates, all right?

You guys having some romance 101?

Hit me.

Dad, please.

Ben needs advice, not, uh, puns.

I can offer more than just word play.

Yeah, you could tell him all about, uh,

the love secrets of Mr. Suburbia

and his handy electrical tips.

Let me tell you there's a lot a man can do for a woman

with a spark plug and a generator.

-[Rachel] Oh. -[Ben] Wow.

Ignore the man who hasn't been on a date in 25 years.

Your big sister knows what she's talking about.

Just keep on being wonderful.

[Ben] So according to Rachel,

I had to play things by the book.

No room for improvising.

Carbo, however, seemed to have not only

ignored the rule book

but thrown the whole thing out the window.

[upbeat music playing]

Oh, listen to that engine purr.

You've done a superb job with this.

I haven't even shown you what she can do yet.

[laughs] Any reason why not?

Just being polite.

Don't want to scare you.

Well, don't hold back on my part.

Oh, famous last words.

Do you want me to drive?

In your dreams, lady.

Hold onto your jocks.

Feel like watching a movie?

Think there's an '80s trash marathon on

if you're interested in four hours of teen...

I didn't know there was a dress code for the couch.

I'm going out.

What was that about a trash marathon?

Ah, nothing.

It's tomorrow night.

So, uh, where are we off to?

Come on. Totally up for a night out.

Just, uh, let me get changed.

Should I go dancey or restauranty?

Seriously, Ben. We agreed.

No more partying together.

We're just friends, remember?

I guess you're coming.

So, how'd I do?

You drive like a man.

Oh, thanks.

No, it's a compliment.

In fact, you should be honored.

You're the first ever chick I let drive the beast.

Wow.

Ooh, I should probably go and see Julie.

She'll be looking for me.

No, they'll be having tea by now

and she'd be PO'd at the interruption.

Never get between that woman and her penne.

Hey, uh, why don't you come in?

-Really? -Yeah.

I mean, if you thought the charger was good,

you're going to flip out

when you see what else I've got.

[upbeat music playing]

You right for a drink? Hello?

Free beverage, yes or no?

Sure.

Are you looking for someone?

Not exactly.

There you are.

Oh, hello.

[Heath] Hi.

Ben, this is Heath. Heath, Ben.

[Ben] So, I'm either the wingman

helping her out on a date,

or being paraded in front of a mate for appraisal.

Either way, it's best behavior time, Rafter.

Heath, how's it going?

Yeah, good.

Heath works with me.

[Ben] He's a mate. I'm being paraded.

Lucky enough to share a ward.

On a good day, we share lunch.

[Ben] He's competition. I'm a wingman.

So you guys want a drink?

I was just headed to the bar.

Okay.

Did you want some cash?

Ah, no, no, no, it's on me.

So what do we reckon? Shooters or beers?

I'm up for a beer if you're buying.

Um, you don't want a hand, do you?

Actually, that'd be great.

So you've worked with Melissa for a while?

No, not long. She's great though.

Yeah, she is.

So how do you guys know each other?

I live with her.

Oh. Like...

No, no, no, we're just housemates.

Okay. So you're not her boyfriend then?

No, no, no, just friends.

Close friends.

Great.

[Ben] He's a contender.

Bugger.

[upbeat music playing]

[Ben] I can handle this.

Heath's making a play, good luck to him.

It's not like he's going to kick a goal on his first...

David Beckham, eat your heart out.

Um, sorry to interrupt.

No worries, mate. Uh, do you want to sit?

Actually, I might just dance.

Could you excuse us for a sec?

-Look, I'm sorry. -Why?

It's no skin off my nose if you want to get busy

with a workmate.

Personally, I wouldn't screw the crew,

but that's just my opinion.

But you're quite happy to screw your housemates?

We don't work together.

I really didn't know how to tell you.

I mean, I knew Heath was coming tonight but it...

Last night wasn't supposed to happen.

No kidding.

I know this is awkward and I'm really sorry.

I just...

Well, when you sort of invited yourself along, I...

I am so terrible at this.

Which bit?

Making out with McNurse over there

or the letting me down gently?

We shook on it, remember?

You're right. Friends.

No hard feelings.

And good luck with Heath.

He seems like a really great guy.

I might just go mingle with the locals.

[upbeat music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

[Ben]This is great for Melissa.

She's a great girl and she deserves a great guy.

It's all...

great.

And it's going to be even greater

after I've finished my hundredth beer.

Babe, babe! Come on.

Come on, you've been flirting that spectacular

hide off with me all night long.

Come on. What are you...

Are you a tease or something?

I'm not interested.

Well, give me one good reason why not.

I have a boyfriend.

Do you really? I can't see him anywhere.

Right. Well, you should really keep an eye

on your girlfriend, mate, 'cause she's trouble.

-Wow. -Sorry.

You have no idea how persistent that guy was.

Did he even use a pick up line

or just hope that if he breathed

enough alcohol on you, you'd give in?

Can I buy you a drink?

It's the least I can do after you saved me.

Considering the pash I just received,

I think I should be the one buying you a beer.

Or a slab. Or a brewery.

-I'm Lauren. -Ben.

How about we buy each other a drink?

Being long-term romantic partners and all.

Whatever you say.

[upbeat music playing]

[Ben] So do you often grab strangers in clubs?

Only the cute ones who come to my rescue.

Actually, you helped me out a little tonight yourself.

So you're on somebody's radar.

An ex maybe?

Or a maybe maybe?

Uh, the second one.

Her? Seriously?

You could do so much better.

Really?

Who's this?

Are you trying something with my girlfriend, mate?

-Girlfriend? No, no, I... -This is Ben.

He helped me out when you weren't here.

So I'm half an hour late

and you're already off with some other guy.

Actually, I might get going.

Oh, you're not going anywhere.

Marco!

You're pathetic!

[Marco] I'm pathetic? You're a dirty whore!

[Melissa] Ben, are you all right?

-Are you okay? -Yeah, yeah, yeah I'm fine.

I might get going. Have a great night.

[Lauren] You don't think I know

what you're doing behind my back?

[woman] ...the rest of our lives together,

and you just took off.

[man] ...remaining brumby that comes into the village...

The far...

I thought I was going straight...

If you're going to keep flicking,

why don't we just watch a DVD?

Seen them.

What, everything on the shelf?

Pretty much.

Why don't you go up to the shop then?

Can't be bothered.

The get up and go generation.

So much vim.

All right. If I go to the video shop,

will you guys watch whatever I pick?

No complaints?

Bring back a block of chocolate

and you've got yourself a deal.

Go to the action section first.

Something early Van Damme.

Or a romantic comedy.

Time I got going too.

I'll walk you to the video store, love.

Okay. Hey, you don't want to stay for a DVD?

No. I best be off, love.

Thanks for a lovely night.

I really enjoyed the company.

-Bye, Granddad. -[Ted] See you, mate.

See you, Ted.

[Steve] I can't believe you brought that up.

Well, look, let's talk about the music

because it's great to see you back on the road again.

-Uh, next. -No, no, no, no.

-Rachel, leave this. -[Rachel] Boring.

-[Dave] Shh.-We kick off in a few weeks.

Now, we might be getting long in the tooth

-but I'll tell you... -Dad, come on...

Rachel, Rachel please, please.

We are going to rock hard.

[Rachel] Urgh,

it's like one of those 'if you're over 50

and no longer working full time' ads.

-Just shh.-Do not miss it.

It's the Greaties from the Eighties tour.

It is going to be amazing.

Right now, Steve Wilson and the Front.

[Steve] ♪ Wake up this morning ♪

♪ With no one beside me ♪

♪ Saturday morning my mother ♪

♪ She's beside me ♪

♪ I'm just... ♪

No, that's... It's all right.

You can turn it over now.

[car engine revving]

[Carbo] Ooh. Watch it. Here, I'm coming, I'm coming.

[indistinct chatter]

That's not fair, that's not fair.

No! Oh my god.

Okay, you are dead, you are dead.

-No, no, no, no, no. -Ah, yes! Yes!

Catching up, catching up, I'm catching up.

-[Ben] Hey. -Benno! You're back early.

-Yup. -[Carbo] Where's Mel?

I don't know. Getting lucky, I guess.

Um, well, I should, uh, probably call it a night.

Are you kidding? I was just starting to catch up.

Uh, sorry, no, I should... I should go.

Hey, thanks for a great day.

Oh, the best day.

See you soon, right?

Yeah. See you, Ben.

[Ben] See you.

Right, spill.

What the hell was going on there?

I know. I can't believe she was kicking my butt either.

No. I mean, like, why was she even here?

Mate, she's a legend.

She knows more about chargers than I do.

You can't be mates with Chrissy.

-Why not? -It's just weird.

It's like she's cradle snatching.

We're not dating, mate.

Well, it looked like a date to me.

Look, she liked my car, we went for a ride,

we hit it off. That's it.

Chrissy's a really great person.

-Get off her back. -All right.

Don't bite my head off.

Ah, here he is, Rip Van Winkle.

[Dave] Didn't drop off till 3:00 A.M.

Nothing wrong with a sleep in on the weekend.

Would you like some tea to go with that?

[Dave] No thanks.

[guitar music playing]

Oh.

When'd you start playing again?

Oh, I found it in here awhile back.

I thought I'd give it a try.

Been a long time.

Yeah. Probably sell it.

Get some cash for it.

Oh, well, you could keep it.

Start playing again.

Yeah, maybe.

No harm seeing whether that amp's still working either.

[rock music playing]

How's your back?

You hit those chairs pretty hard.

No, I didn't. It's all good.

Where's, uh, Heath? I made him a coffee.

He, um, didn't come home with me last night.

Oh, really?

-That's a pity. -[doorbell rings]

So what happened with that girl last night?

You could've picked one who wasn't dating Rambo Junior.

It's none of your business the way I see it.

[Carbo] Benno! Visitor.

Lauren.

[Lauren] Cute in the morning too.

Are you missing something?

Thanks. Didn't even know it was missing.

Did I drop it?

It probably fell out of your pocket in the brawl.

How is your boyfriend?

Oh, sorry. This is my housemate Melissa.

I'm sorry about that.

He's a tool and I should've broken it off ages ago.

But I owe you one, Ben.

At least another round of drinks.

I might have to hold you to that.

Thanks for the courier service.

It was...it was really nice of you.

Nice? Is that all?

Can I just check, um, Rambo, is he still in the picture?

[Lauren] He's definitely an ex.

Thank God for that.

I like my arms attached to my body.

I have to go to work.

-I have a cafe. -Really? Cool.

But later, are you free?

Yeah, definitely.

Well, I'm having some drinks with friends

at the boat club on the marine.

I work at the boat club.

Free drinks.

We'll be there around 9:00.

Sounds perfect.

Great.

[whimsical music playing]

See you.

Try not to get into any more brawls in the meantime.

Ooh, shot!

-[Carbo] What'd you reckon? -She is smoking.

Please tell me you're going to date her.

Tonight. At the boat club.

You only just met her last night.

You sure she's into you?

She is. She just kissed me.

What, in the driveway?

-On the lips actually. -You're funny.

[Carbo] Mate, you're a god. This is great.

[Melissa] Good for you, Ben.

She seems like a really lovely person.

You know, I reckon the same about Heath.

-Thanks. -It was a really great idea

to go out last night.

We both picked winners.

Definitely.

[Ben] See? Easy.

That's how the best kind of friendships work.

A little bit of support, a bit of give and take,

everyone back on board the mates train.

[guitar music playing]

[Rachel] Dad.

Dad! Dad!

-Dad. Hi. -[Dave] Oh, hi, sorry.

Are you channeling the ghosts of rock stars past?

I'm writing a song.

-You don't write songs. -[Dave] Yes, I do.

-Since when? -I'll play it to you.

No laughing.

[Rachel] Oh, I wouldn't dream of it.

Unless you're going to do the Jagger strut too.

Then I might have to disown you.

Ah, well, let the Stones roll.

-I'm ready. -Okay.

[guitar music playing]

♪ It was a long time coming ♪

♪ On the yesterday ♪

♪ Can you feel it ♪

♪ Coming out our way? ♪

That guitar's been in the garage for years,

but I've never seen him pick it up.

Remember how he used to growl at us

when we asked about it?

Now, all of a sudden,

I'm getting an intimate rock concert for two.

You should have seen it.

I didn't know he had the energy.

Hmm. Is this something I want to hear?

Oh, probably.

It's about your husband.

Really?

Dad was rocking the suburbs.

Writing a song, if you can believe it.

Dave was writing a new song?

Yeah. He needs to practice for about three years,

but, uh, the old man didn't do too badly.

[playful music playing]

Are you sure you want to do this?

Baby, did I stay right by your side all night?

Yeah. But--

Did I explicitly say I wanted to go back to your place?

Yeah.

Then shut up and take me to your bedroom.

Hmm?

Okay.

[playful music playing]

If there's some kind of memo

we could circulate about the kids

not buying me murder mysteries

for every celebration, I'd appreciate it.

Everything okay with you?

Oh, it'd be better if I didn't have to read

all about Inspector Prig and the Marsh Murders.

I'm serious. Talk to me.

Yeah I'm fine. Never better.

[sighs]

You've been writing songs again.

Word travels fast in this place.

Well, it's just, you know,

you haven't touched that guitar in years.

So why now?

Bloke's got to have a hobby.

I'd love to hear it.

Well, it's not finished and it probably never will be,

so just don't worry about it.

Come on. You're talking to Yoko here.

I love all your songs.

Come on. What's going on?

I've been trying to get you to pick up

that guitar for decades.

Well, maybe I've started listening.

Good night, Jules.

[mellow music playing]

Good night.

[Ben] Morning.

Hi, Lauren.

[Ben] Coffee?

Actually, I better get to the gym.

I'm late for pump class.

[Ben] Ah, no worries.

Lunch today?

You're on, baby.

Hmm.

-What? -You're unbelievable.

[Ben] Oh, is this one of those girl things

where I'm supposed to guess what I've done wrong?

We slept together two days ago.

-And? -And you don't think

it might be slightly insensitive

to parade her around the house,

not to mention shagging her in the bedroom

right across from me?

You were the one who said it was a mistake.

That you wanted to be friends.

-I do. -And you were the one

going on about how happy you were for me.

I am. It's just we don't have to be

happy for each other so publicly, do we?

And what about Heath?

Heath didn't stay over.

Since when do you get to make up the rules?

Have a listen to yourself.

[Carbo] Ah, where's Lauren?

-The gym. -Ah.

Getting herself fit for round two.

Ding ding, Benno.

You two are pathetic.

Ah. What's up with her?

Don't know, PMS-ing maybe.

[laughs] What?

Dynamite. Definitely a nine.

Oh, not a 10?

They don't exist in the real world.

How's Melissa feeling about your new lady friend?

You snooze, you lose.

I can't believe you sometimes.

What? What do you want me to say?

She's dealing with it. We're friends.

Oh, just like that.

Yeah. She's met a guy too.

Everything's worked out perfectly.

You have to meet her, Rach.

Seriously. She's so hot.

[Nathan] Who's hot?

Oh, Ben's got a new bit of fluff.

Apparently, she's a goddess.

Right. Goddess like the girl you dated

-who had to wear a neck brace? -She hurt her neck

in a skiing accident, you jerk.

Ben, I'm gonna be honest with you.

Most of the girls you've dated,

and I use the term loosely,

have been complete inbreds.

If this chick manages to walk and talk at the same time,

that will be a huge step up.

You all right?

Do I look all right?

Just checking.

You know, what's going on with you and Ben?

[Melissa] What do you mean?

[Carbo] Come on, I'm not stupid.

It was totally intense in there before.

I thought you two were gonna start

stabbing each other with spatulas.

You can't stab someone with a spatula.

Actually, you can.

Come on, what's the issue? You can tell Uncle Carbo.

Please don't refer to yourself as Uncle Carbo again.

What? You don't like Ms. Hottie McLegs?

Mmm. She's a vapid, skanky,

and calls men 'baby'.

She's my favorite person.

Now, if this wasn't Ben we're talking about,

I'd say you're acting like a jealous ex or something.

Ben can do what he wants.

I just don't want our house being taken over

by latest shags, yours, mine or his.

Is that why you didn't bring that Heath guy home

-the other night? -Exactly.

It's called respect for your housemates.

Otherwise, it can get messy.

Mmm.

I never thought of it like that before.

Glad I can open your mind to new experiences.

[Dave] Are halogens they just take about an hour.

Yeah, all right, all right, well, uh, great.

I'll see you at 4:00.

Okay. See you.

Second job offer today.

Those posters must be working.

Oh, well, don't take anymore, okay?

-It's the weekend. -No. Freelancing means

never saying no.

[Ben] Hi, mom!

-[Dave] Who's that? -About to find out.

mom, Dad, uh, this is Lauren.

[Julie] Hi.

Can see why your son's so cute.

-Oh. -Oh, thanks

but B actually gets his good looks

-from his mom. -[Julie] Oh.

Uh, well, anyway,

we're just on our way to lunch.

Thought I'd pop by and say hello.

Um, Nathan's out the back.

Oh, is he home?

Yeah. You might, um, want to go around

-and introduce Lauren. -Oh.

Oh, well, don't want to be rude.

Come on, Lauren.

It was nice meeting you both.

You too.

Not his usual type.

Well, I mean not the type who usually likes him back.

Yeah. Not the type I want him to end up with either.

I give it five minutes.

Ben tells me you work at Hampton Lewis?

You're so young.

You must be really driven to succeed.

I just know what I want and how to get it.

It pays to be one step ahead.

I bet you could teach me a lot.

So how did you guys meet again?

He saved me from a slobbery moron.

Cute and charming. How could I resist?

Pretty easily, I think.

Yeah, good on you.

No, I'm just saying.

A beautiful woman running her own business.

-What are you offering? -Not all girls go for smug

-wannabes like you. -Boys, please,

there's plenty of me to go around.

So when's your lunch?

Ooh, half an hour.

It's a pretty fancy restaurant.

Better get going.

Is McDonalds taking reservations now?

[Lauren laughs]

It was really nice to meet you, Lauren.

You too. Maybe we could make a night of it.

Double date?

Yeah, that would be...that would be fun.

-Bye. -[Nathan] Bye.

How did Ben finally score

a smart, hot chick like that?

Oh.

What?

[Carbo] Ah, there you are.

What happened? Was Nathan jealous?

-How was lunch? -Nathan was spewing.

His brain nearly exploded when he saw her.

Bet you his brain wasn't the only thing.

Oh, I had to pay for lunch, but it was worth it.

Best day of my life.

Hey, there was talk of double dating.

-Ooh. -Like that's ever gonna happen

with Nathan, but, uh, maybe we should give it a go.

What? Just the three of us?

Oh, mate, I'm not into that kinky stuff.

No, you can ask someone too, idiot.

Oh. Who?

I don't know. What about Greta?

Greta? Oh, with the...

Yeah, her or Annie. She's fun.

Lauren'd love her.

Annie.

[whimsical music playing]

[clears throat]

Yeah, is that Greta?

Hi, it's Carbo.

How are you doing?

[Ben] What's that?

It's fish.

How can you go wrong with fish?

Women love fish.

Yeah, not fish fingers, you moron.

Well, we can dress them up

so they don't look like fish fingers.

How? Carve them into fish shapes?

Well, I can't hear you coming up with any better ideas.

-What's wrong with pasta? -Boring.

Ah, Melissa, you're a woman.

Ah, I love conversations

that start with that observation.

We're looking for something to impress Lauren.

Tell her to go date someone else.

Funny.

-Have a heart, Mel. -Sorry, boys.

Have fun with your dates.

Carb, this is serious.

We need to figure out what to cook

before the girls get here.

Oh, would you get those things out of my face?

Come on, bit of tartare, bit of lemon?

Oh, we need help.

Start with cheeses but nothing too stinky

and no blue.

It's not good date material, trust me.

-Cheddar? -Ah, well,

yeah, it'll have to do.

But at least take it out of the packet

and we need some water crackers, nice ones.

Check.

So, who's your date for tonight's extravaganza?

I'm still waiting on a few callbacks.

Ah. True optimism never dies.

So, uh, why isn't Melissa helping you out with this?

You've never eaten anything Mel's cooked, have you?

She's bailed anyway.

Oh, that's because she doesn't want you

parading Lauren around in front of her.

-I don't parade. -Oh, please.

You practically threw confetti all over her

when you introduced her to Nathan.

-He told me. -Melissa's a big girl.

She doesn't care.

Of course, she does, twit.

She's still keen on you and she can't handle

seeing you with other women.

Maybe in the world according to Rachel.

Well, wait and see.

When things fall apart with Lauren,

Melissa's going to offer up a shoulder to cry on.

She'll be there for you in your time of need.

It's classic behavior.

When' things fall apart?

That's not gonna happen.

[Rachel] Why didn't you teach Ben to put together

-a half decent roast? -Ohh.

If Lauren makes it through to dessert,

I will be surprised.

Hey, listen, have you noticed your dad

acting a bit, um, odd lately?

Odd? Try grumpy.

He's been in a bad mood ever since that stupid show.

What stupid show?

Interviews with ancient rock stars.

Steve Something and the Geriatrics.

Steve Wilson and the Front?

-Yeah, that's them. -Oh.

-You've vintage. -Makes sense.

Why does that make sense?

Uh...

Mom, come on. What's the big secret?

Not my story to tell.

[doorbell rings]

-Chrissy, hey. -Oh, hi, Ben.

Um, I just wanted to drop this around for Carbo.

-Is he... -Perfect timing.

-Are you hungry? -Carbo,

uh, we're having people over for dinner,

-remember? -[Carbo] Exactly.

That's why this is so perfect.

Please, come in. Have dinner with us.

-Well, I don't wanna intrude. -No, you're not.

Trust me.

-We've got heaps. -Are you sure?

[Carbo] Yeah, absolutely.

Don't let me down here. Take a seat.

-Carbo. -Yeah?

Are you sure this is a good idea?

Yeah, it's genius. Told you

someone would show up eventually.

Well, what happened to Greta?

-Engaged. -And Annie?

Oh, you don't want to know about Annie.

-Trust me. -It's just.

It's a bit weird, that's all.

Look, you asked me to find someone, I just did.

Relax, it's gonna be great.

[dramatic music playing]

[Carbo laughs]

I thought we were double dating

-with your brother. -[Carbo] Cabanossi?

[Lauren] What's with the old lady?

That's Chrissy. She's Carbo's friend.

Right.

Well, I guess everyone's got their fetishes.

Ah, Lauren!

Come sit down.

Hi, I'm Chrissy.

Lauren.

Fancy some cheese?

No, thanks. I don't do dairy.

[Carbo] Lauren.

[Chrissy] Cheers.

You have the most amazing tan.

Oh. Oh, thanks.

It's not natural, right?

I mean, no one goes that color.

[laughs] Yeah. No, it is, I'm afraid, yeah.

Bit old school, I know.

Wow, amazing.

North Cronulla Beach.

I can highly recommend it.

I prefer the spray on version.

I don't want to hit thirty with wrecked skin.

[dramatic music playing]

You should've told me this was about Steve Wilson.

So all these changes lately,

you're not regretting anything, are you?

No, never.

It was just unfinished business.

You know, the band and all that was...

was a long time ago.

Just...just water under the bridge, really.

Yeah, but you must miss it.

And the gigs, the applause, the groupies.

[laughs] Ah, you were my only ever groupie.

Yeah.

Listen, Dave, if all this stuff's bubbling up,

I mean, maybe it's time

to tell the kids the whole story,

-get it out in the open. -I don't know, Jules. It's...

Well, Rachel's gonna ferret out the truth somehow anyway.

And personally, I think they should know

the choices that you made for them,

what you gave up.

But it's up to you.

[Ben] Well, thanks for coming over and stuff.

That's okay.

Sorry I couldn't eat the pasta bake.

I just don't do carbs after 6:00.

Right.

Is your friend seriously gonna date that woman?

Hey, Chrissy's a great person.

She knows more about chargers than Carbo does.

Gee, great.

Well, let's face it, all Italians are mama's boys.

Carbo's Greek.

Same thing.

I mean, how desperate does he need to be?

Can't he meet girls his own age?

I'm tired. I'm gonna go to bed.

No problem.

I've got an early start in the morning.

-I'll call you. -Sure.

Speak soon.

[Ben] Talk about dodging a bullet.

[Chrissy] So, Carbo,

how much would the Torana set you back?

[Carbo] About 900 bucks.

Got a good deal.

Bit of work and I'll probably sell it

for a couple of grand, easy.

Hey, um...

you should come with me and pick it up.

Give me a hand fixing it.

Yeah.

That sounds like fun.

Where did Ben get to?

I don't know. He's been gone ages.

Lauren's probably got her claws into him somewhere.

Yeah, she's a bit full on, isn't she?

[laughs]

You know, that stuff she was saying to you,

it was crap, you know that.

Don't worry. I can handle bitchy comments.

I've had plenty of practice.

So...

It was a good night.

Yeah, unreal.

I better go.

Right.

Thanks for being nice about the food.

Oh, no, that's okay. It was...it was...it was good.

I wanted to make fish fingers, but Ben talked me out of it.

What! I'm a maniac for fish fingers.

-No way. -Yeah, cheese on top,

under the griller. Magic.

I may even go and do that right now.

[laughs] Oh, thanks.

Never figured you for an Alfa driver.

Oh, it's a very good car, excuse me.

No, I just figured, you know,

you talk about sexy beasts.

Oh, yeah, the Mustang's in the shop.

Hey, I'll take you for a joyride

-when it's out if you like. -Oh, that'd be awesome.

Okay. Um, thanks again.

Yeah, you too.

Hey! Stop!

I just wanted to let you know

that I had a really, really good time with you.

Okay.

I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Okay.

[playful music playing]

You're not goggling Steve Wilson, are you?

Yeah, well, sometimes a girl just has

to take matters into her own hands.

Well, you won't find anything there.

Well...well, I guess it's up to you then.

All right.

In a nutshell,

I started a band with Steve,

co-wrote that song that you heard them playing,

Suburban Boy.

Then I met your mother, left the band

and never got a credit for the song,

and here we are.

And in a slightly larger nut shell,

why did you leave?

Julie got pregnant...

with you.

That's it?

[scoffs] So what?

Oh, please tell me she wasn't some sort of

Stevie Nicks tambourine hitter in the band

and pregnancy interfered with her playing.

Wrong era and no she wasn't.

Well then, why quit?

Well, couldn't you have just kept on playing

and taken us all on tour with you?

I could've been

the Apple to your Chris and Gwyneth.

[laughs]

I'm serious, Dad.

Why give up fame, fortune,

something that you loved?

Look, the band was great,

but it was no way to support a family.

Your mom and I wanted a home.

Family, food on the table, stable job,

roof over our heads.

I got no regrets, Rachel.

Then why are you sitting out there in the dark

with your guitar?

Didn't expect to find you still up.

How was dinner?

It was interesting

and terrible.

Chrissy turned up. She was kind of Carbo's date.

Wow. Good for him.

Lauren's a fat cow.

Well, maybe she's not fat,

but she's...she's definitely a cow.

How was your night with Nurse Heath?

Remarkably similar to yours.

He's a sexist pig.

Well, maybe not a pig but he's definitely sexist.

How can a male nurse be sexist?

I paid for dinner.

He said, I was "disempowering" him.

Seriously?

I wouldn't have cared.

[both laughs]

Ah, we sure can pick them.

Mmm.

Do you want to watch a DVD?

Sounds like a plan.

My pick.

[Ben] Maybe it'll work.

Maybe it's better to have Melissa in my life

as a mate than not have her at all.

Hey, I've been thinking

and I want you to know that

our friendship's really important to me.

So whenever you find another girl,

hopefully not like Lauren,

and you want to talk,

my door's always open.

[upbeat music playing]

[Ben] Or Rachel was right after all,

and I've still got a chance.

I did some ringing around for you.

Steve Wilson's number.

You're pushy, aren't you?

I want to hear your songs.

All of them.

Ooh.

-For the ballads. -[lighter clicks]

[laughs]

Something I wrote?

-Yup. -Okay.

[guitar music playing]

Dad...

[clears throat] Okay.

[guitar music playing]

♪ Bright sky Is shining over you ♪

♪ You tell me what I go... ♪

[Ben] Maybe Dad was ready to face the music,

literally.

Stop denying the truth.

I knew how he was feeling.

Great night. Great night, Benno.

Other than the devil insulting your date, you mean?

Yeah, speaking of which, are you seeing Lauren tonight?

Might rest that one on the bench for a bit.

-Or forever. -[Carbo] Good call.

I reckon she'd turn out to be a massive spanner.

[girl] Hey, can you kick it back?

Oh, I got it.

Here, mate.

Sometimes I swear he's five years old.

[mellow music playing]

What are you doing?

Kissing you.

[mellow music playing]

What does this mean?

No one night stands.

No friends with benefits.

I'm talking full on relationship or nothing.

If we do this, we're taking it slow.

No rushing into bed again.

Deal?

Deal.

Is, uh, kissing allowed?

Kissing is definitely allowed.

[mellow music playing]

[theme music playing]

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