Original subtitles

[upbeat music playing]

[singer vocalizing]

[Nathan]What makes us the way we are?

Nature? Nurture? Bit of both?

Though if that's the case,

you'd think me and my family'd

have more in common than a surname.

-Oh they've come. -What have?

Invites to dad's 50th.

Snazzy, huh?

Ah, no my parents aren't going.

-Why not? -They won't want to.

-Nathan. -No I'm serious.

Let's face it. Your parents and mine,

they're from different planets.

Oh come on it's just a party.

"To Julie and Des Rafter."

Des. They can't even remember my dad's name.

Trust me they, they won't want to go.

What?

After everything they have done for us,

you are embarrassed by them.

I'm not...I'm not embarrassed.

I'm just trying to protect them.

Your parents, they just... They want different things

to my mom and dad, okay?

In fact, so did I. I mean, I love my parents.

Of course I do.

But somehow we were always headed

in different directions.

-Disneyland? -Yeah.

[Nathan] For me there was a world out there

way bigger than our backyard.

Oh, mate I've already booked a caravan down in Narooma.

Way better than Disneyland.

Come on, let's get cracking eh?

Concentrate. Don't try and hit it too hard.

Don't want to split the wood. All right, away you go.

[Nathan] Never was good with my hands either.

Another point of difference.

[dramatic music playing]

[singer] ♪ Hey, hey... ♪

No that's all right mate. I'll, um...

[Nathan] Is it possible to change the personality

you were born with?

I don't know.

I always felt like a stranger looking in from the outside.

[singer] ♪...but I'm feeling Little uncomfortable ♪

[Nathan] Mom and dad finally said go for it.

Try your hardest. Get in to your private school

and we'll chip in for the other half

of your scholarship.

Took me an hour and a half both ways.

[singer] ♪ Do your best Got a second...♪

[Nathan]First on the bus. Last off.

I wanted it that bad.

Probably was, it didn't come naturally.

Never has. I'm not like Ben.

The slacker barely scraped through school.

But I'm not like Rachel either.

She blitzed her exams, barely worked for it.

My final year was a nightmare.

Got to get some rest.

There's no point studying so hard

you nod off during the exam.

Just 10 more minutes please, Mom.

Literally I, I used to wake up sweating,

heart racing. But I knew acing the tests

was my only ticket out,

my ticket to where I wanted to be.

So I might be back here

but I'm still determined to make something of myself.

There's nothing wrong with that.

-Hey. -Hey.

It's late.

You should come to bed.

Right now in fact.

-That's an order. -I haven't finished yet.

I have to have this proposal done by tomorrow.

So get up early and finish it.

It has to be done now, Sam. I'm sorry.

Okay. Fine.

[singer] ♪ I don't mean To burst your bubble ♪

♪ But we need you here ♪

[Nathan] Dad always says

you've got to get your priorities right.

Family comes first.

But he's middle aged and still slogging

his guts out to pay the mortgage.

I don't want that life.

[singer] ♪ Stay awake... ♪

[Nathan] Mind you, if I'd listened to him,

I might have saved myself a whole lot of trouble.

Especially from my evil sister.

-Oh gosh. -Oh I'm so...

so sorry. I wasn't looking. Sorry.

You're Nathan's sister, right?

-Rochelle? -Ah, Rachel.

Right, Rachel. Oliver.

Nathan's best man at the wedding.

Oh, right yeah the infamous Oliver.

Yeah, Nathan's best man that we'd only met four times.

-Yeah. -Yeah.

You're a household name.

Really?

Ah, so I didn't know you were a photographer.

I thought you were doing something

with financial planning.

Yeah well always like to keep a couple of irons in the fire.

You know how it is.

Hey we should catch up sometime.

I'll buy you a drink.

[Rachel] Ugh, he was just so slimy.

I'm surprised he didn't do the Fonz thumbs up

-before he left. -Oh.

Um, not to burst your bubble here, Rach,

but do you know how many women throw themselves at Oliver?

He was probably just being polite.

Oh, what so now I'm just a charity case?

Not my words.

[Rachel] He woke up this morning thinking hmm

shall I sponsor a starving child in Africa today?

No, no, no I'll just ask

Nathan's sister out on a date'.

Rach, I'm not sure how to put this

but Oliver's last girlfriend

was onSearch For A Supermodel.

[Julie] Oi excuse me, it's your gene pool too.

If you're having a go at your sister--

No I am not having a go, I am just stating the facts.

He is out of your league.

A bit of family loyalty

wouldn't go astray there, mate.

[Nathan]Okay so maybe I was a bit,

a bit over the top, but she's my sister.

It's my duty as a brother to give her heaps.

Rachel was paying out Oliver.

I was just giving it back.

All my... Can I just jump in?

All my life I've been made to feel guilty about

wanting something different, about not being

100% Team Rafter.

I'm not saying that what I want's necessarily

better than the way mom and dad live.

Okay, sometimes I do. I don't know.

Maybe I've just got to suck it up.

Accept that my family are never going to get who I am.

And that's just the way that family are sometimes.

You're not always going to see eye to eye.

You can't choose them.

Look at my mom and dad.

Trust me, I do.

And I wish I didn't have to.

We're never going to change them.

Either of us.

[upbeat music playing]

[doorbell ringing]

[Sammy] Oh, I'll get it.

Mom!

What are you doing here?

And then we added this bit on about oh ten years ago.

Well, with three teenage kids we needed the extra room

and there was no way I was going to pack up

and move again. Mind you I have to say

renovating did have its moments.

Oh, it looks lovely. Tony and I started off

in a tiny place like this. It's very cozy.

Mom, don't start.

I'm not starting anything. I mean it. In fact

it's a palace compared to what your father

and I started out in.

Okay, well, um, make yourself at home.

I've just got to get ready for work so--

[Rachel] Yeah, same.

So...

what are you doing here?

Well, that's a lovely way to speak to your mother

who drove 45 minutes and paid God knows

how much in road tolls just to see you.

Well, now you can see why Nathan and I are doing this.

Starting out small like you and dad.

Hm. But what I don't understand is

why you're making it so hard for yourself.

There's nothing wrong with accepting a little help.

Well, not when it's coming from dad.

He gives us money and then suddenly

it's not a gift anymore, it's a contract.

Well, yeah it's all part of being a Westaway.

But he does miss you.

Well I'm coming to his party. That's progress, isn't it?

It'd be even more progress

if you said you'd give me a hand with the planning.

Oh please darling, you know your father, suddenly

it's not a party he wants, it's a festival.

No strings attached. Please, darling?

It's his fiftieth and I could really do with the help.

Beamer outside--

Oh yeah, your mother-in-law's dropped in.

Here? Why? What about?

I don't know. She needed to see Sammy about something.

Right. Cool, um, how's everything going?

Did she have a tea or did she have a coffee?

No darling, we're planning to dehydrate her.

[Nathan] Good, good. Ben's not here is he?

Oh, would you calm down? She's not the queen.

No, she is not.

Um, okay well you stay here

cause I'll take care of everything.

Trish. It's lovely to see you. What a surprise.

Oh, Nathan. How lovely to see you too.

And, ah, what brings you out here?

Bit early for a social call.

Oh, it's never too early for party planning.

Mm. Well if you need someone to get tough

then Sammy's your girl. She absolutely eats caterers.

Well you've no idea the war that's already been waged

over finger food.

Come on darling, it'll be fun.

And a good excuse for us to spend some time together.

-Mm. Okay. -Okay.

[Sammy] But if I'm in charge,

then I am in charge.

Fabulous. I'll leave everything up to you.

You can find me in the bar if you need me.

[Sammy] So I will stop by after work mom

and we can sort out some of the details.

[Trish] I look forward to it, sweetheart.

Yeah it's going to be great.

And you are looking amazing, Trish

so that's for dropping by.

-Julie, nice to see you again. -Oh, you too.

Now, I haven't got your RSVP yet but I assume that you

-and Des are both coming? -It's Dave, Mom.

Dave. Yes of course. I don't know why

-I keep getting confused. -Sorry, coming to what?

-Our party. -What party?

Two saddest words in the English language.

[Trish] Tony's 50th. I mean you must have got

the invitations by now. I sent them days ago.

[dramatic music playing]

You would've said yes just to be polite

and then you would've gone and you would've had

a really bad time.

So it was entirely selfless.

You were just thinking about us.

Mom, you know what Trish and Tony are like.

All their friends are the same.

I thought I was doing you a favor.

Oh you got my vote for Son of the Year.

Aren't you supposed to be at work, Rachel?

Mom, if you want to come, then come to the party

because it makes no difference to me.

Well good because we're going.

And don't worry darling we'll try not to embarrass you.

Mom, I'm not em...

[sighs] What?

You just don't get it do you?

I thought I did.

How many chances do you reckon your mom gets to frock up

and let her hair down?

Not many.

It was her invite, her choice.

It wasn't yours to make.

Why don't you call the mothership,

let them know they can have you back.

Good on you, mate.

So, this is the part where the sister from hell

plots her revenge.

She knew exactly how to get me.

[Julie] Oh I'm not going to say anything about horses

-and getting back on them. -You just did.

But, um, I'm, I'm just really glad

you're putting yourself back out there.

Okay mom before we book out the church,

can we just pick the earrings please.

Oh very important.

Okay, definitely those ones.

-Thank you. -Oh, very funny.

Have you got another work function?

Sorry, I'm surprised they make any profit at all.

Your sister's going on a date for your information.

[car horn honking]

Oh, that's probably him now.

Hey, brother from another planet.

-[Nathan] What? -Can you get that please?

Sure.

-[dramatic music playing] -[car door shuts]

[Oliver] Geez mate,

lucky I've got Sat Nav.

Never realized you lived this far out.

Would've brought my passport had I known.

[Rachel] Oliver, hey.

Got here okay?

Well come inside and see the family.

They're dying to say hello.

[Nathan] She did it. Rachel got me.

But it doesn't end there.

Oh no.

[Julie] Oh come in. Come in.

It's great to finally have you out here.

We, I mean we told Nathan to ask you over all the time

when you were at school but you always,

you know, always had something

on rugby or water polo or--

[Oliver] I like to keep myself busy.

So how long have you guys lived out here?

[Julie] Oh since Nathan was a baby.

Ooh.

I was about to get a beer. Would you like one?

[Oliver] Yeah that'll be great. Thanks Dave.

How's the engineering business?

-Ah-- -Engineering?

[Oliver] Well that's your line of work, isn't it?

No, I'm an electrician.

[Oliver] Right sorry.

I must've got that confused with someone else.

Would you like a glass with that?

[Oliver] No, I'm good thanks.

Yeah are you guys heading into town for dinner?

[Rachel] Oh no I thought we'd just eat somewhere local.

[Julie] Well you could always stay here.

I mean now that we finally have you out here,

it'd be lovely to get to know you a bit better.

Yeah that'd be lovely, mom, thanks.

-Wouldn't it Ollie? -Absolutely.

Been ages since I've had a home cooked meal.

[Nathan] And it just got better because...

we were having the suburban special.

Meat and three veg.

[Rachel] So what happened to the financial planning?

[Oliver] Yeah look it really wasn't for me.

Lots of moms and dads wanting to pay off

their mortgages quickly.

Put everything into super.

I kept thinking, take a chance

for once in your lives.

Well I guess if you chucked it in

that quickly you're not exactly

the poster boy for the industry...

For financial planning.

I would've thought the one main rule

would be to stay employed.

[Nathan] Well there's no point staying employed

in a job that's going nowhere, is there?

So it's photography now is it?

I mean how, how long have you been doing that for?

Oh, on and off for a few years.

Got a few things going at the moment.

There's a shock.

-Like what? -Oh, how's the house?

He's got a place in the city,

he's doing it up as an investment.

Have you got the plans back from the architect?

Yeah, but I thought I'd talk to the guy that did the reno

-on the McMasters place. -[Nathan] Oh, yeah.

Want something ah, you know creative.

Well you wouldn't want to overcapitalize

on this place especially if it's an investment.

Oh, dad he knows.

Hey. Ollie, what are you doing here?

Oliver and Rachel are on a date.

No really.

Oh no it's true.

I thought he'd like to meet the family.

[dramatic music playing]

I'm really sorry about Rachel. She just doesn't know

how to keep her opinion to herself.

Yeah, she likes the sound of her own voice, doesn't she?

-Yep, yep. -Anyway, how's your form?

-What? -Well all those times

you said your parents were away skiing in Europe,

and that's why you had to stay at my place.

Yeah.

Mate, it's, it's cool. Don't worry about it.

I would've made up an excuse too if I lived out here.

I hate to break it to you

but it's not exactly the third world.

Mate, I'm not having a go. I just,

you know, Sammy's parents are loaded.

Why aren't you living with them?

Are you leaving?

Yeah got the trainer at 7:00.

So, um, won't be home before midnight.

Oh, it's only 30, 40 minutes at this time at night.

Yeah, whatever. I've still got to go.

-It was nice to see you, Sam. -You too.

See you at the big five-oh.

[car alarm beeps]

What is going on tonight?

Homicide.

I am going to kill my sister.

How would you like someone to do that to you, Rach? What?

Invite me over to their place for dinner?

Ask you out on a date and then play games, take the piss

-the whole night. -Like he noticed.

Anyway, I have a feeling his ego will survive.

Guys, come on.

No, what is it that you see in him?

I mean, seriously the guy is 22-years-old

and he's already had 17 different career changes.

So he hasn't figured out what he wants to do.

-That's not a big deal. -[Rachel] It is

when he comes in here and looks down on all of us.

[Nathan] It was you that invited him here!

[Rachel] Nathan,

you are 500 times the person that he is.

Now right now I'm not sure that that's saying very much.

But he's a wanker.

The guy has never worked hard

for anything in his life

and he's just happy to let daddy come

and bail him out every time anything goes wrong.

Why does that make him some kind of superhero to you?

Just because he wants something different to you--

Nathan, he's a wanker. Wake up.

[dramatic music playing]

[knocks on door]

What is it about this family that's so embarrassing to you?

I'm not...I'm not embarrassed.

Is that...is that why it took so long for you

to invite Oliver around here?

Why you decided to hide the party invitations from us?

-Well it's just... -We are good people.

And there is no reason that you should ever feel ashamed

of this family.

Especially your dad.

Do you...do you have any idea how proud we were of you

when you won that scholarship?

I think I called everyone I'd ever met in my entire life

just so I could tell them.

So please don't tell me you've become the sort of man

that judges other people by the car they drive.

You've... You need to take

a good look at your values, Nathan.

[Nathan] Dad, um,

all that stuff I said about engineering,

I was just being an idiot.

I was 16, I was talking myself up.

I didn't mean anything by it.

I know you'll never probably understand this, Nathan,

but what I have here is more than I'd ever hoped for.

[dramatic music playing]

[Julie] Well you know the thing is

I'm not even sure that I do want to go.

Yeah, I know but it's the principle

-of the thing, isn't it? -Exactly.

Having said that, they're all going to be dressed

to the nines and I've got nothing to wear.

Yeah, nudity can sometimes backfire I find.

Nudity? Now you're talking my language, girls.

And what language might that be?

Oh, you know just... making a comment.

Yeah, well don't let it keep you from those spec reports.

I take it you're writing them in English.

Now Jules this afternoon if you don't mind.

Okay. You still here mate?

I mean you should've seen Sammy's mom.

It's seven o'clock in the morning right

and she's wearing an outfit that'd pay a month's mortgage.

Yeah, but Jules, looking good has got nothing to do

with how much money you spend.

I mean look at me.

[scoffs] As if.

Okay. Here's what's going to happen.

I'm going to come around to your place this afternoon.

We're going to go through every item in your wardrobe.

Oh, I threw out all my Versace gowns last week.

You're going to be the most glamorous woman at this party.

Julie? Glamorous? [scoffs]

Should I just cut them off?

No someone's beaten us to it.

Ooh, the 80s.

-And they were a great decade. -Hmm?

-For Joan Collins. -Oh.

Yes well Rachel used to wear that for dress ups.

Ah, yes probably not the look we're going for.

-Nope. -Jules,

how about one of mine?

Hmm? Too slutty?

-Oh, no, no, no. -Not slutty enough?

No, it's enough.

Okay, okay.

-Yes. -Yes?

Yes. It's classy, it's elegant,

you spill champagne on it and no one's going to notice.

-Not too casual? -No not at all.

You put some nice jewelry and some and, and shoes,

it'll look... I've got a necklace

in my car that would be perfect.

Oh.

-Oh, hey Nath. Look. -Yeah.

What do you think?

[Nathan] Nice. Yep.

Are you and dad going out for some dinner?

No I was, um, actually thinking

of wearing it to...

Trish and Tony's party.

Oh.

Not anymore.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no,

it's just the party's a really big deal, that's all.

-Yes. -[Nathan] Don't get me wrong,

you'll look beautiful.

Ah...

which, why don't you treat yourself.

Why don't you get something new,

something really glamorous.

[dramatic music playing]

[door shuts]

[Ben] Mom, have you got any spaghetti?

I forgot to buy spaghetti.

-What's wrong? -Nothing.

-I'm fine. -Yeah right.

Haven't seen you like this since I scratched

your Best Of Blondie record.

Don't worry about what Nathan said.

This dress is beautiful.

Nathan? What'd he say?

You know what? It doesn't matter, okay?

What'd Nathan say?

After everything's mom's done for you

and you still treat her like crap.

-Ben, some privacy! -You made fun

-of what she was wearing. -No I didn't, now get out.

So why's she out there attacking dishes?

All I said was that she might want to buy a new dress

for Tony Westaway's 50th to spoil herself.

Totally out of the goodness of your heart, right?

Nothing to do with your stuck up in laws.

Mom's always gone out of her way for you.

You could murder someone

and she'd still be on your side.

Are you finished?

You want to be a wanker to me, that's fine.

But don't you dare treat mom like that.

Pull your head in, Nathan.

Shut the door.

Would anyone else in Australia like to have a go at me?

[Ben] Mom was really upset,

and now she doesn't have anything to wear.

Can't she borrow a dress from someone?

No one we know's really fancy enough for the Westaways.

Hey can't she hire dresses? You know,

from one of those dress hire companies?

Yeah if you want to be a vision in faux satin.

Oh, subtle, Ben.

What?

I've got it. My mom.

She's got all these dresses upstairs.

Covered in plastic. One's with you know feathers

and sparkling bits, and look like mermaids.

Classics, all of them.

They're from when mom was really skinny.

They're just hanging there.

Let's go get them!

We had someone come in to emergency once

because they'd worn clothes that'd been in plastic.

Serious?

Germs everywhere.

What we need to do is think outside the box, you know.

Find a different way through the maze.

Get a clear objective.

What? I read it.

In your Mr. Men books?

I read other stuff.

[scoffs]

[Rachel] You know for once you might actually be right.

That's right. I'm the stylist.

Well the shoot's tomorrow so I'd need to pick

the clothes up by the end of the day.

Well it's for Marie Claire, so it'd be great coverage.

Yes of course I can hold.

-Do I want to know? -No, you don't.

Rachel, have you seen Mom?

-Dad, have you seen Mom? -Hey you missed her already.

-She started work early. -Right.

-Ah, is she all right? -Yeah.

Why wouldn't she be?

Oh, are you going to do that all morning?

[device beeping]

Warney, it is really annoying!

Yeah. Get it all off, baby.

Warney!

Bit touchy today, Jules.

That time of the month?

I thought you might like some morning tea.

Oh, thanks.

That guy's a tool.

Yeah well there's one in every office.

You shouldn't have to put up with that, Mom.

Trust me when our lotto numbers come up

I'll tell him where to shove his phone.

[Nathan] I learned a lot at private school.

Public speaking.

School spirit.

How to be a bully.

...Ron Barrett's...

-Whoa! -Warney, isn't it?

-That's me. -Yeah.

I heard you were the sparkie on the maintenance contract

for Cronin Brown's rental department.

Those people are worth a bit of cash

to the ah, to the company.

Yeah. So what if it is?

I'm just saying that if that contract

happened to go to somebody else,

another real estate agent,

Ron Barrett wouldn't be too happy.

And let's face it, he only cares

about the bottom line.

Yeah but it's no reason why it would so--

No, well they're friends of mine.

I went through the Real Estate Institute

with the owner's son.

So if I happened to have the right word

to the right person then...

maybe that job wouldn't be so iron clad.

And with all the recent job cuts,

I reckon you would be the next to go.

Is this a threat?

What are you, stupid?

Of course it is.

If you don't start treating my mother

with the kind of respect she deserves,

I guarantee I'm going to follow through on it.

Yeah, it looks like all the cash Mom and Dad

laid out for that school was worth it after all.

All right I need you guys to go and put them

either side of the pillars out the back.

If you could that'd be great. And they're into the marquee.

-Thanks a lot. -[Trish] Oh darling,

there's no way I'd be so calm if you weren't here.

-Are we having a party? -Guess it looks like it.

-Hey Dave, how's it going? -Yeah, all done.

Any more lights and your back garden'll look like Luna Park.

I really appreciate this mate.

Oh, I was doing the lights as a favor.

Whoa, must be some mistake.

Don't expect you to work for nothing.

Well you're family now. I wouldn't charge you

and even if I was, I wouldn't be

talking this many zeroes.

Look, you've got a daughter.

I'm sure if you were in my situation,

you'd want to make sure she's being looked after.

I... You want me to give this money to Sammy?

She's not going to take it, not from me.

On the other hand if you and Julie wanted to help out

Nathan with a bit of a loan...

Oh, look, ah,

look I don't want to get involved.

You know, what the kids are like.

They want to be independent.

But I'll give you the lights as a birthday present.

I mean what else am I going to give the man

who's got everything?

See you tomorrow.

What did Dad say to you?

Oh, just a bit, bit of a misunderstanding is all.

Well what was in the envelope?

He just thought I expected to be paid,

you know, for the work.

Of course he did. How many zeroes?

[dramatic music playing]

-Hey. -Hey.

How do you reckon Nathan's going to cope with this?

[laughs]

Oh.

Come on. It's a little bit funny.

-Come on. -Don't.

I'm just kidding.

Are you sure this is going to be all right?

No, you could wear a potato sack

and be the hottest woman there.

Oh, you have to say that. It's in the marriage contract.

[Ben] Hey are you guys decent in there?

No, but we've got our clothes on.

[laughs] I'm hot.

-I'm so hot. -You're so...

-[Rachel] For you madame. -What's this?

[Rachel] Nothing to worry about, Cinderella.

It's a dress. Put it on.

Show us what you look like.

Ooh.

Oh, guys come on. We're going to be late

if we don't get a hurry on. It's--

[whistles]

[Rachel] Oh, wow.

That is the most beautiful dress.

-Oh. -Mom, you look amazing.

[Ben] Seriously hot.

So what do you think?

Wow.

I honestly don't know how you two did it.

[Ben] Oh, mommy, you're hot.

-Thank you so much. -[Ben] Good.

You made my day.

-Thank you. -You look beautiful.

[singer] ♪ Should've stolen One more kiss ♪

♪ To tide me over ♪

♪ Should've held you In my arms ♪

♪ Just a little bit longer ♪

♪ Should've told you you'd be missed ♪

♪ Should've stolen one more kiss ♪

[Trish] I'm sorry but you're going to have to leave.

-Sorry? -Where on the invitation

did it say "must outshine the hostess"?

Oh.

It's nice to have an excuse to dress up.

The place looks amazing.

Well you only turn 50 once.

Or in my case, never.

I plan on staying 39

for the rest of my life.

Your father's looking for you.

Check book in hand no doubt.

Oh. Do you ever feel like you're the referee

in a major fight?

Oh, only every other day.

Oh look, there's Des.

-I thought it was Dave. -[Julie] It is.

[Trish] Oh.

Proves what they say, doesn't it?

Money can't buy taste.

I mean, the guy's got cash to burn.

He could've done something so much better.

-Mr. Westaway. Oliver. -Oliver.

Thanks for the invitation.

I was just saying to Nathan I wouldn't mind

picking your brains at some point.

-Really. -[Oliver] Thinking of make,

making a small move into ah property.

You know, starting small but I'd really appreciate

your advice.

Well we might not get a chance tonight

but, ah, maybe sometime next week.

Sounds great, sir. I'd like that.

I'm sure you would.

Apartments now, eh?

Thought you were renovating your house.

See, this has always been your problem, mate.

You've got this narrow little view.

I'm not having a go, you can't help it.

You grew up with that mindset.

Like your old man.

He's just happy to plug away every day.

Go to work, earn the money, come home.

But you're better than that.

Got to think bigger.

Take a chance otherwise you're gonna be stuck

in that hole forever.

[upbeat music playing]

[jazz music playing

-Hey. -Hi.

Um, have you ever thought that maybe Oliver

is a bit of a wanker?

[laughs] Yes, of course.

That's just who he is... Oliver.

And that's why we put up with him.

Excuse me, was this a revelation

more than just a statement?

For me apparently yeah it was.

Hi you two. You haven't seen Dave anywhere have you?

No, but I have been meaning to tell you

how many people have asked me where you got that dress.

[Julie] Ah. Yes well I think I'm starting to think

I've missed my calling in life.

Is it too late to become a fashion icon? Aah!

[Nathan] Oh, my God, mom.

[Sammy] Mom, help her.

Are you okay?

[Nathan] Mom, are you okay?

[Trish] Fine, it's fine. It's fine.

She's going to be absolutely fine. Come on.

-I've only had one champagne. -[Trish] That's fine.

-I'm fine, I'm fine. -She's fine.

Just right now I just want to kill myself.

-Just smile, laugh. -[laughs]

-You're fabulous. -How am I doing?

[laughs]

[Trish] Oh, now

don't you worry for one moment about that lovely dress.

I have a specialist dry cleaner

-who'll work wonders. -Thanks.

I'll get his number off you before we go.

Oh, don't be silly. Let me take care of it.

-We're family now. -Thanks.

Oh, that dress looks better on you than it does on me.

What's your secret? Botox?

-Pact with the devil? -Oh, both actually.

It's disgraceful I know, but I find it's the only way

to get through these events.

You'd think they'd be more discrete.

Sorry?

[Trish] The infamous Suki.

Tony's latest afternoon delight.

She's a presenter on one of those

hideous home makeover shows.

Oh, I'm, I'm so sorry.

I didn't know.

Oh. Don't worry.

I have my own fun while he's away.

Roberto.

My tennis instructor.

Oh.

-He's very handsome. -[Trish] Oh, trust me,

he serves up exactly what's required.

I'm so glad we've become friends.

[man]♪ For he's a jolly good... ♪

[all] ♪ Fellow and so say all of us ♪

-[man] Hip hip! -[all] Hooray!

-[man] Hip hip! Hip hip! -[all] Hooray! Hooray!

[crowd applauding]

[Tony] Thank you.

Um... [clears throat]

I look around me here today and I see,

I see my family, ah, I see my friends.

I see the life I've built and, uh...

And I guess if this is what the big five-oh is

then, it's not too bloody bad at all.

[laughter]

[Tony] I want to thank the lovely,

the beautiful women in my life.

Well, where is Suki?

[Tony] My daughter Sammy who always was

and always will be

the joy of my life.

And of course

my beautiful wife, Trish.

Almost 25 years of marriage.

And it's been a delight.

Every single day.

I love you.

Are you getting sentimental with all this mushy talk?

No it's just Tony and Trish.

It's a bit sad.

[Tony] So on this, my 50th birthday,

I've decided the best kind of present

is the kind of present that you give away.

And my elegant daughter,

Sammy here and our new son-in-law,

Nathan, are just starting out on their life

and I hope they're going to be as happy

as Trish and I have been.

Oh, God I hope not.

[Tony] And to do my bit, to make sure that happens,

my present on my birthday,

to my daughter is an apartment

in my latest development,

a sub-penthouse apartment,

because you've always got to have something

to aim for.

-[laughter] -Oh, my God.

-Total score, mate. -[Tony] Cheers. Thank you.

I've always told you.

Sammy's the best move you ever made.

[dramatic music playing]

Okay. I'll let him borrow the Charger for an hour.

-Ohh. -Okay, two. That's it.

Okay. Carbo says you can borrow

the Charger for a day.

-A day? A day? -Yeah, yeah, and I'll fork out

20 bucks.

-A day? -Okay. All right.

Fifty? All right, all right deal.

And she's ready to roll now.

-Thanks for this mate. -[phone beeps]

-Yes! -A day? A day?

I thought we were mates!

-Carbo-- -Oh, shut up!

[Ben] If this doesn't put a smile on mom's dial,

nothing will.

Nathan's going to flip.

Yeah.

-You scare me sometimes. -What?

[Melissa] Well if you and Nathan collaborated

for once, you could use your powers for good

-and not evil. -This is for good.

Mom's going to love it.

What are you doing tonight?

Two dollar shots at the pub 10:00 to 12:00. Till then...

You, ah, want to come on an adventure?

[pop music playing]

Oh, I'm going to miss them.

Yeah we'll save on the water bills though.

Sammy never really got quite used to the idea

-of three minute showers. -[laughs]

Yeah, but I got used to having them around.

Yeah, me too.

Come on, let's liven this place up a bit.

[singer]♪ Over something to do ♪

♪ Could this be true ♪

♪ It all comes down to you ♪

We should be partners.

This place you just got, it's yours.

You own it outright.

Think of the equity, what you can do with it.

We can buy a block of flats,

we do it up, sell it for a profit.

That easy.

I mean, do you seriously think

Sammy's dad had to even raise a sweat

for any of this?

Yeah, well back in the early days

he worked pretty hard by the sounds of it.

The right property, any idiot can make money.

Oh.

Put a price tag on that.

Your old lady's dress?

Tell me what happens when you decide

you don't want to be a property developer anymore.

You want to, I don't know,

you want to make a movie, you want to open a brothel,

I don't know, whatever takes your interest.

What happens then?

I don't have the same luxury that you have, okay?

My dad's not going to bail me out

if I get myself into trouble.

Yeah, Sammy's dad will.

You really are a wanker.

[singer]♪ Something to do... ♪

We all knew.

The whole time.

At school,

we all knew you were bullshitting.

All that stuff about your dad, where you lived.

We still let you hang out with us.

You were the charity case.

Piss off.

[Oliver] Very well done.

Very working class.

How's that for working class.

[groans]

If we take the apartment then dad wins.

I can't do that.

Tony.

Absolutely flawed, we both are

by your generous offer.

Well you're part of the family now, Nathan.

Just want you and Sammy to be happy.

Which is why you'll understand why we need

to decline the offer.

I've always had to work hard for everything.

It's something my father taught me and I know you know

what I'm talking about because you slugged it

out the same way.

I still want the world for Sammy

and I intend to get it

but only if I can earn it myself.

-You're not serious. -Mm.

Excuse me, I think I need to dance with my wife.

[upbeat music playing]

[Melissa] You know, for a doofus,

this is really sweet.

Your mom's going to love it.

By sweet you mean unbelievably sexy?

Completely.

Hey, if you thought that was hot, check this out.

Where to, m'lady? Honk honk.

Wow you look just like Brad Pitt.

-[Ben] Really? -No.

[Ben] Give it back.

-How do I look? -Like a stripper.

[Melissa] Shut up!

In, in a non-sexual way.

[Melissa chuckles]

How long do you think they'll be?

I've got tequila shots waiting.

Well they've been here since lunch,

so the champagne's got to run out soon.

Melissa...

There's your mom and dad now.

Right.

Mom, dad, how's this?

-[Julie], Oh you're kidding. -Where the hell

-did he get that? -[Julie] Oh probably the same

fairy god mother that got the dress.

How do you like your pumpkin, Cinderella?

Darling, this is amazing.

I'm not going to have to post bail, am I?

Nah, Carbo's mate owns it.

He rents them out for weddings.

-Can we get a lift too? -[Ben] I don't know.

Is this car posh enough, Nathan?

Definitely. You've done good, mate.

-You've done very good. -[Julie] Hey Dave,

there's a telly in here.

-All right, I'm driving. -No mate in your dreams.

Yeah, I'm a better driver, Ben.

No way. I organized it.

You can still sit up the front.

-No. -You have to squash with Mel.

Okay.

-But you owe me big time. -Oh.

Ah, I'm going to let Nathan drive.

Sorry. It's probably going to be a bit squishy.

-You got enough room there? -Um, yeah.

-We're all right. -Yeah.

-Sorry Mel. -[car engine revving]

-[Melissa] Woohoo! -Woohoo! Yeah!

[dramatic music playing]

Julie, white with one.

Oh, what's that?

It's a cup of tea.

Yeah, right. Okay, so... Let me guess.

You put a laxative in it?

Hey I'm just trying to do something nice.

Make it yourself next time.

Ron.

What on earth happened to him?

Mm. It's like he's had

a personality transplant overnight.

Oh.

Maybe Nathan had something to do with it?

[door shuts]

-Hey mom. -[Julie] Oh, hi.

What are we having for dinner?

Thought I'd try a new recipe.

Doesn't have to be meat and three veg

every night, does it?

Oh, but mom it's what you do with it.

-[laughs] Oh, hey listen. -Yep.

What did you say to Warney?

-Warney? -Yeah all right

you don't have to tell me.

Just reassure me there was no violence.

I'm sorry I, I don't know what you're talking about.

Oh.

-My mistake. -Mm.

How good is my mom?

It felt great to be back in her good books.

Hey is dad out in the--

-In the shed, yes. -Shed.

Yep, I thought so.

Okay well let me know

if you need a hand with dinner.

Okay.

[Nathan] The real trouble was finding a way

to apologize for 21 years

of having my head up my bum.

I finally see why you spend so much time out here.

It's the only place you can get a bit of space

to yourself.

Took you long enough to work that out.

Thick skull.

It takes a while for things to get through.

I didn't think it could be enough.

Being out here in the burbs. I didn't get it.

I couldn't see why you'd be happy

and why you wouldn't want more.

But, ah, now I see, I get it.

And finally I got dad.

-You want a beer? -[Nathan] Yeah.

He knew what he wanted,

slogged his guts out

and got it.

A self-made man

just like I want to be.

Glass?

What do you think I am, a wanker?

-Hey can I have a shot? -No.

Yeah. I can.

Come on.

-Come on. -All right let...

Just concentrate, all right?

Don't...Don't hit it too hard,

you might split the wood all right.

Just...

All right.

[hammer pounding]

[Nathan] I guess some things will never change.

[dramatic music playing]

[Nathan]When I was in high school

I had such big dreams.

I wanted the world.

I still do.

When I was in high school, you know what else I wanted?

I know you're busy.

I just wanted to grab this.

[Nathan] A really hot chick to come into my bedroom.

And offer to have sex with me.

You're not going anywhere.

Oh, yeah.

Try telling me there's something

more interesting on TV than this.

I don't know. There's a pretty good documentary

that I wanted to watch.

Yeah.

No. [laughing]

[Nathan] Not that I want to be thinking about my dad

right now but he's definitely right

about getting your priorities straight.

[dramatic music playing]

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