Original subtitles

- Good evening. - Good evening. Come in.

Thank you.

You are first.

- Is it here? - I guess. Fourth floor.

- Good evening. - Good evening. Jirka, the shoes...

- Good evening. - Good evening. Come in.

Put the shoes on the side.

Welcome. Come in, please.

Ball Lightning

- Good evening. - Good evening. Come in.

Hey! Hey! Hey!

- Good evening. - Good evening. I run from work.

- Good evening. - Welcome. Good evening.

Good evening.

- Good evening. Welcome. - Good evening.

- Good evening. - Good evening.

- Wait, I'll bring you kitchen chairs. - Yes, thank you.

- Good evening. - Good evening.

- Good evening. - Thank you.

Do you think he would borrow me some? I'd like to borrow a book from him.

- Good evening. - Good evening.

Good evening. Good evening.

- A! Good evening. - Good evening.

- Could you, please? - Of course.

- Thank you. - Do you mind, please?

Excuse me, folks,

does anyone fancy a cup of good Brazilian coffee?

- No. - No.

- I've already drunk two today. - That's a nice gesture from him, right?

Excuse me, folks, is anyone interested in a good Brazilian coffee?

- No, no. - No? No?

- Mr Knotek? - No, thanks.

No, thanks.

Good evening. Let me introduce myself.

- I am Kadlec. - Knotek. Nice to meet you.

- This is my wife. - Kadlec, nice to meet you.

Knotkov�, good evening.

- Are you alone here? - No, there...

Well, I think that it would be?

Oli, look at the cupboards.

- Come here. - What?

Look at this, it's... it's a set.

If this was put next to each other, it would be beautiful.

You are right. And it's identical.

Look at the upholstery! It is in original state.

That divan? Well, it's nice.

Maru�! Come, you can't do this. Come!

So ask him for it.

He should be here by now. What time is it?

I am deeply sorry!

I am deeply sorry.

Forgive me, friends, I got held up at number 6.

Forgive me, friends, I got held up at number 6.

But, I have collected all the stamps. Friends, please,

move the chairs a little bit here.

Come closer, so we can see each other well.

Thank you.

So...

Is everybody here? Is anyone missing?

My wife had to go to an important company...

All right. It doesn't matter as long as someone from you is here.

- So, Jechov�. - Here.

- Have you visited Knoteks? - Yes.

- Have you seen the object? - Yes.

- Are you satisfied? - Satisfied.

Satisfied. Very well.

Couple Knotek, B�lek - contacted?

- Yes. - Yes, very well.

We have seen it here and it suits us.

Great, very well.

Well, maestro, would you mind, please?

Be so kind, that picture, okay?

- That is me. - Yes.

As Figaro in Mozart's opera The Marriage of Figaro.

- Yes. - It is an original

- from academic painter Kou�il. - Yes, thank you.

Here. Let's go through the scheme of the whole action:

Well, friends, this is how the situation looks like.

Everybody has his place and his precise task in it.

The whole action will proceed quickly, energetically and at once.

That's why I named it The Ball Lightning.

Please. If anyone doesn't understand anything, feel free to ask.

- Please, speak. - I just would like to ask,

if anyone among the folks would fancy a cup of good Brazilian coffee yet?

I am sorry, but no, no offence.

Maestro is very kind, but this is not a coffee party.

Yes?

Could you repeat the word? I haven't remember the title.

The Ball Lightning. It's a code name.

Mr doctor, I hope we swim in legal waters?!

But of course. The name

is purely for our internal use.

Such a big fuss.

We will just pack our stuff and go. Right, Er�ika?

Fazeka�, how many times I have to explain,

that this is a twelve-change.

You can't just pack your blankets, children and go.

Do you know academician Pl�ek, Fazeka�?

- No. - Well, you see,..

an academician, a state prize for physics,

a honorary doctorate in Reykjavik and so on and so on.

And do you know, what was his life-work?

- I don't. - He himself said it.

Ten-change.

It took him half year to organize it and a year to convalesce.

And we have two extra changes here.

If we succeed, we will be the only one

in the republic and maybe, well maybe,

on the whole world. Madam?

- I canceled doors... - Yes?

between kitchen and living room. And I put a curtain instead of them.

And now Mr Pivo�ka insist on them.

Friends, listen, questions of mutual settlement

will be handled separately, since your conflict with Mr Pivo�ka

is naturally not in a field of interest to...let's say inspector Drahota. Okay?

Yes. I fixed the curtain hangers into the wall for good.

- Should I destroy it? - See?

This, which interests inspector Drahota,

cannot interests us. Friends, I ask for

- strictly global things. - I have a question for everybody.

Tell us, please.

Well, many years already, 20,

- 25, I collect all... - I apologize, Mr doctor,

but nor you understand it.

- The aim of this meeting is to solve... - I will rephrase it.

It may happen that during the moving you find some old junk.

Yes. Injuries! Injuries. Thanks for reminding me. As for this...

It can be an old painting or some rickety chair,

a chest of drawers, a coffer. This all I collect.

So, if you want to get rid of it,

here is my phone number:

It is 28-0-3-36.

- 28-0-3-36. - End of discussion!

And now, my dear friends, a thing of great importance.

Who has a car?

I will specify it, who has a reliable car?

I will specify it even more: Who can assure,

that his vehicle will be roadworthy under every circumstances?

In worst case scenario I have also a motorcycle.

And Mr engineer, cold you

put your vehicle in the service of a common cause?

- Of course. - Very well. Thank you,

I appoint you a liaison. Another thing of great importance.

I choose an adjutant from among you. It's Mr Knotek,

a researcher, a psychologist.

He usually works from home, therefore at urgent cases, you can

leave me a message there. Write down the number,

Mr Knotek...

- 54-18-86. - Yes. But please,

do not confuse it with the number given by doctor Je�n�.

Better cross that out.

I can imagine everybody calling there, it will only cause a mess.

- Please. - I don't understand the scheme.

Kadlecs go where?

Yes. Dear friends, in the given day the circle...

will turn. Kadlecs are divorcing,

so they will split into two apartments.

Fortunately, the divorce is compensated by a wedding, Opatrn� and Flieger.

So, starting with engineer Sever�n, the chain will merge

- and continue normally. Is it clear? - Excuse me.

- Please. - Doctor, since you already

mentioned it, I would like to invite this whole assembly

to our wedding... with Jarmilka.

It is held on September 22 in the town hall of �i�kov.

- Yes. - Thank you for reminding me!

I changed it.

Because you have to get married before the moving.

Therefore, who wants to attend the wedding,

it is not September 22, but September 14

and it is not held in �i�kov, but in the town hall of Nusle.

Excuse me, doctor,

but I have a colleague with a car and he counts with September 22.

He took a day off. You can't rearrange it.

Calm down, I will fix it up.

And the music?

- We ordered music! - Yes, I...

I will rearrange it all.

Maestro will be happy to sing you. Right, maestro?

I have just a question considering the Brazilian coffee.

Maestro, you are a naughty boy.

Dear friends, I think the most important stuff has been said.

I want to say...

We read 286 advertisements.

We answered 165 of them.

We visited 32 apartments,

We showed our flat to 29 persons interested in it.

We have two children, one room with a kitchen.

We want something bigger.

So we entered this giant carousel of doctor Radosta.

So far nobody succeeded in this.

Which makes it, dear friends, the greatest action

in the history of moving.

No, no, no, no, no.

- No. - Knotek, don't worry,

he is a professional. He is not doing this for the first time.

Filip, look at yourself!

I guess I am too old for this kind of business.

- The dinner is waiting since 7 PM. - R��ena, open!

- Good evening. - Good evening.

R��ena, dammit!

- The neighbor is getting home, huh? - That is terrible.

- Good bye. - Good night.

R��ena!

- Good evening. - Good evening.

- What time do you have? - 8 o'clock, Mr Klabouch.

And have you already been clocked at 8 o'clock?

I haven't.

Hi, grandma.

- So, how did it went? - Great.

Poorly.

I hope you realize we can't live in this mousehole.

But V�ra, I have my own job.

I can't stop everything and be Radosta's stooge.

Can't you realize it? Our family is just suffocating here.

- Where did you find it? - Grandma.

Grandma.

The family is suffocating. I'll go crazy!

- Are you suffocating? - Yes!

- Yeah? - Our family is suffocating here.

And you have to sacrifice something for it!

- The family is suffocating. - Hey, who is it?

I still can't see you. Where are you?

Aha, it's you. Welcome.

Please wait, I am down in a sec.

I will go ahead.

I have a message from Dr Radosta. I was unable to reach you.

It's broken constantly.

The sun is heating the water here. For free.

I am showering myself with this. I don't live here.

- What about a coffee? - I can't say no, thank you.

I use this for scaring away birds and squirrels.

Otherwise they would eat all the nuts.

- What a handy device. - Sit down.

Doctor Radosta says you to take a day off on September 14

and drive Opatrn� and Flieger to the wedding.

Fourteenth...fourteenth... ...wait, it...

Come here! Come here, quickly, now!

She is there, bitch.

Did you see? How she ran away?

September 14 is ok for me.

And what about a shot of slivovice?

My own.

Well, why not.

Attention near the second rail!

I repeat: Attention near the second rail!

A passenger train from Vizovice approached the second rail.

I repeat: A passenger train from Vizovice approached the second rail.

I do also other things.

- Dammit. - That's enough.

- No, sit! - No, really.

- Don't be afraid! - I can imagine it.

- Don't be afraid! - Wait, sir...

- Don't be afraid! - Let me go, sir!

And because of these thing I necessarily need a workroom.

Otherwise I wouldn't move.

Leave it, it's an antiseptic talcum.

Take care.

Attention near the second rail!

I repeat: Attention near the second rail!

So? Why are you giggling?

Mind your business, I will check it later.

I am waiting! Take a pen and draw it!

- I can't. - Hello, wife, daughter, son.

Well, dad, come in.

�t�p�n is doing interesting things at school.

Well well well...what is it?

Well, show off.

Show your daddy, what are you drawing to the notebooks of girls.

- So? What are you waiting for? - I can't.

My arse you can't. You can very well!

Mrs teacher said me everything. Draw!

That's not all!

�t�p�n, �t�p�n...

Such a big boy.

I mean, such a young boy.

Vladim�r, come here for a sec please.

A! Good afternoon.

Excuse me for bothering you,

but I remembered I haven't asked you,

if there is a laundry in the house.

And now your wife is telling me that there isn't any

and that you wash in your bathroom.

Well, I don't know, I think I would mind.

I don't use any service,

I wash by myself and in my house there is a laundry just across the hall.

Well, what are we going to do with it?

The washing machine is yours? It does not belong to the apartment?

No, it is our own washing machine.

- You don't have your own machine? - No. I don't.

I see. So I guess you will want our machine...

And how does it wash?

Well.

Say goodbye to it. The family is suffocating.

These artist are such impractical. He is also elder person.

Then a removalists arrive and he is gonna stay and look helplessly.

I don't want to rush you there but it is in your own interest.

With this kind of business there will be troubles all the time.

Then I need another thing. Do you have a black suit?

Yes. I have. Dark blue.

That is great. Flieger's witness canceled,

so you are gonna bear the witness for him, ok?

Hey!

I will call you in the evening. Evening. I'll call.

It will take just a half hour. You don't have to stay for dinner.

Mr doctor! Mr doctor!

Everything is arranged, Mr Vedral.

- I will call on Thursday. - I have the permission.

Ok, ok, all right.

Have you spoken with Kramoli�ov�?

I have, she agrees with everything.

- Well, I have to go. - Bye.

Don't forget the wedding. Take care.

Damn you!

Please.

Please, prepare for marriage of Mr Bohumil Flieger

and miss Jarmila Opatrn�.

- Are you the groom? - No, Bohou�ek.

- Yes, it's me. - Are you the bride?

I ask the witnesses...

for the IDs.

Thank you.

The worst thing about this...

- You are a psychologist? - Yes.

...that a man has to communicate with people he has nothing in common.

- Thank you. - You are welcome.

- I ask the groom and the bride... - You are a psychologist?

- Do you know what is interesting? - What does link me with this Flieger?

- I like weddings so much and... - With some Opatrn�?

Or with this nut?

Oh my God, that's terrible.

I always forget about this.

Hello. Excuse me, do you want photos?

And what kind? Postcards or classics?

Rather postcards.

The bride sits here,

the groom here. Bride's witness,

groom's witness.

Now, I ask you to stand up when the clerk enters.

He is going to greet you by bowing his head.

After that you shall sit down, except the groom and the bride.

They will keep standing. Others will be sitting.

Look at me to be sure. I will give you a sign.

Please.

Only... only...

Only.

In singing only, in singing only,

we have found sweet relief.

In singing only, in singing only,

we have found sweet relief.

- Sit down! - No, stand up!

You will sit, you will stand up.

Mr doctor, let me introduce you the engaged couple,

the bride Jarmila Opatrn�...

This event will be written in Fliegers family chronic under a name

"An imbecile in a ceremonial hall".

Dear engaged couple...

Mr Knotek, listen, you can't do this to us.

I'd love to, but...

We would feel insulted, Mr Knotek!

- You would insult us! - Well...

Mr Knotek, lthe lunch, at least.

- We counted on you. - Come, mate.

At least I won't be alone.

- Would you mind, Jarmilka? - I am not going alone!

- I want my best man. - Case closed.

- And we are going as first? - No, no, no! Just come!

Okay then. but just for a while.

- Really, just a while. - Go, go.

Just sit down.

Lady, give me the violin back!

- No! - No!

Who turned the light off? That is sabotage!

Watch it, maestro, a curve!

- Lady, give me the violin back! - Where is music?

- Hey! - Pssst! Don't shout so much!

Come, come Mr engineer, we are almost there.

Turn it on!

Lady, give me the violin back!

We won't go anywhere with this approach!

Destination Drahotas. Fourth floor.

I beg you lady, give me the violin back.

It is...it is a precious instrument.

Or at least do not play on it.

...the front part, then the wire pieces,

then the back part and the convoy is closed by bedclothes.

What is this madness, man? Don't you know it's night?

Are you moving? Without thinking! Are you moving?

You are not. Are you...are you moving?

You are not. So go to sleep. Shush!

There is no place between you for us.

Sleep!

Sleep, now!

But Mr Knotek, please, don't.

- You can't do this. - Why?

- It can't be! - I will discuss it...

- No! We wouldn't get home at all. - Come!

Ok then...

Good. Let's move on!

Mr inspector Drahota?

Mrs inspector? Have you packed?

Not yet. In a week.

Pack immediately! Night suits, bedclothes and so on.

- Well, we are here. - It's about time!

Free the space...now!

Assemble the bed for the engineer...now!

Excuse me, sirs, but it is night.

When else should we practice moving?

That is a rule.

- Come here! - As an adjutant of Dr Radosta...

- Come here I said! - I command you,...

Who has my inventory?

- Lady, take this one. - Hey!

Here, Mr Knotek.

Drahota, it's a training. Pack just the necessary things

you are back home in the morning.

- Hush hush, hush-a-bye... - Good, slow.

And the jacket goes here.

And slippers!

- See, Jarmilka? - Slowly. Good.

That's nice. I like it.

- Gentlemen, excuse me, - Quiet!

you have been drinking. I understand,

but I have to wake up for work tomorrow morning.

Take this man and go home, please.

Adieu.

Well, dear friends, we are glad you've came. Right, Oli?

- Of course. - But I can't hide,

we are little bit surprised.

- Sit where you can. - Thank you. Thank you.

When it's folded, there is much more space...

- And we have enough to drink. - Great!

You know, my patients, my suppliers.

You are very kind.

Look, this for example was, I think, an appendix.

Or this meniscus, not a bad drinking.

Meniscus.

But these gallstones, that is really pleasant to drink.

Oli, be so kind, glasses.

- In a sec. - The table could go closer.

- Yes, let me help you. - And these chairs...

- And voila. - Man, that is so heavy!

What happened?

- I don't feel well. - Don't worry.

- I hope we didn't break it? - Oli, the lever.

- This way and down. - And I'm rolling!

Such an invention! What a...what a table!

Again!

- So...glasses. - Well, good evening.

We are also glad, that we... that you...

That you are glad, that we are so...

That we are...that you got it right, Mr doctor. Because there were some,

we can prove it, that didn't god...got it.

- P�lp�n! - P����...P�lp�n!

He didn't get it.

You have to realize it's night.

- Well... - And at night some people sleep.

They can sleep, but when it's gonna break out,

we want to see...

...the chaos in the families, that are sleeping right now.

We, on the contrary...

- But we have for you... - Here for madam - she doesn't have!

- Cheers. - ...a surprise.

Maestro B�lek sleeps here tonight.

Well, friends, I doubt...

this is not gonna work. Since we have

only this two beds here.

It is gonna work splendidly, since you will not sleep here.

Make the bed, maestro into... Undress maestro B�lek, put him into...

Okay.

Moment! And where... are we going to sleep?

- You are going to sleep... - Well? Where?

- Where is it... - Where?

- Kadlec! Kadlec. At Kadlec's place. - Where is that?

Kadlec. We will find it on the map.

- We are gonna walk you off. - Bohou�ek, the table.

But who I have to commend, Fazeka�!

I have to praise them!

They also slept, but they woke up. Immediately at attention.

- Here! Make the bed. Fazeka�! - Attention, please,

I will never forget you this.

- And fold. - I just want to see these people,

who are sleeping now. How they will regret.

Maestro, bed time!

Fire!

Hit! Down.

See? Doctor, and he got it.

Wake up! Left, right!

Ba...back! No, no, no, no, no!

Here! This way. Over here!

And fire! Up!

More! More!

- Even more? - But...wrong!

Again! Fire!

Hit!

Good morning, I am Knotkov�.

Good morning, come in.

And�lka! The lady is here.

Come in!

Go in!

And�lka, bye.

Bye.

- Good morning, my name is Knotkov�. - Pivo�kov�.

Come in.

I am terribly sorry.

We wouldn't call you, but we have to go to work and my husband

has already apologized he will come late.

I feel terribly embarrassed. Please forgive me.

Don't worry, that happens.

We wanted to wake him up, but it was impossible.

Excuse me for a minute. Mirda, don't forget the OPBH!

Till three. Excuse me, I just...

This is terribly embarrassing situation. He never did anything like that, ever.

I just want to ask you,

how did he got to your place or how did he forced himself here?

Apparently they were celebrating some maneuvers or what.

And...he wanted to sleep in the bedroom, but we wouldn't fit there all,

so my husband borrowed him a pyjamas and we made him bed in the kitchen.

Oh my God, so embarrassing!

Mrs Knotkov�, don't make a tragedy out of it!

I work here already for an hour.

Where is he?

Here.

Knotek!

Are you not ashamed?

A grown up man, a scientist!

And so hammered...

Could you tell me, what did you talked about the whole night?

And where did you get the idea to go to sleep to some Pivo�kas?

Dammit, �t�p�n! How many times do I have to tell him

to put the shoes on the side?

Could you?

Yes.

Good afternoon.

I am sorry to bother you again, but I remembered

I haven't asked you, if you have a cellar.

Do you have a cellar?

Well of course.

And could I see it?

So, a laundry, a cellar, then she will remember an attic...

V�ra, where are the cellar keys?

Here. Good afternoon.

What's going on?

Mrs Jechov� wants to see the cellar.

The cellar.

You are not gonna like it here.

You will think it's too far.

What a distance, Mr Knotek.

And depth, huh?

And depth...

Well, what a cosy cellar,

indeed, but going so far for a coal,

I don't think I could.

Why did they gave you this particular cellar?

- Well... - So hideous.

I don't know. We moved in

and they said this is our cellar.

I got it.

They said to themselves: What a newbie,

let's give him the worst cellar.

Such a pity.

Otherwise I liked your apartment very much.

M��a pays for this. That's my friend, who didn't look at the cellar

and now she has to pull buckets of coal from I don't know where.

Can't somebody change the cellar with you?

Here for example.

Good afternoon.

Klabouch. And she has to like his cellar...

You have such a handy cellar. Big, near the doors, light,

I would like this one.

Mr Klabouch, would you have time for me in the evening?

When?

At 8 PM.

Well...ok.

Mr inspector Drahota! Good to see you.

Is anything happening? Come in.

Good afternoon.

Good afternoon. Please, come in.

Sit down. Well, what's on your mind?

Tell me.

I just came to tell you, that I have lost my trust

in the whole business, so I step out of it.

Excuse me?

Be so kind and give me back all the papers and of course

the money I gave you.

Wait a minute, you can't just say it like this.

I need an explanation.

After what happened last night,

I think I have the right to doubt about your

seriousness.

Last night? What happened?

Last night, against our will, drunk engineer Sever�n slept at our place.

And why did he slept there?

See, you claim

you have everything under control and such an uncontrollable actions

are taking place behind your back.

What actions? Excuse me,

I still don't understand anything.

There will be more complains probably. They also forced me to go to sleep

to P�lp�n's place. Of course I refused it categorically.

But they just put that Sever�n with the bed there.

At midnight into my living room.

- Come in. - Thank you.

Vl��a is in the cellar since the morning, Mr doctor.

He didn't showed up here at all.

Be so kind and tell him I need to speak with him immediately.

In urgent matters.

Sit down.

Thank you.

If this is about the night, Mr doctor,

I already dealt it with him.

And did he apologize to those people?

Well, I apologized to Pivo�kas for my husband and they understood it.

And what about inspector Drahota? P�lp�ns, Kadlecs?

And how many others of our people did the drunks

bothered?!

We will apologize them at the earliest opportunity, Mr doctor.

He has to apologize to them immediately! Do you know, what is at stake?

These people can back out! And just because of your husband's pranks.

One has already stepped out of it today. And it will be hell of a work

to bring him back into our circle.

Mr doctor, my husband is terribly sorry,

but can it wait until tomorrow?

No. Now, immediately!

Every minute is precious!

Mr doctor, don't ask him to do it today.

You don't know that...

Klabouch insisted on his coal,

so Vl��a had to carry out our coal into the aisle

and his 2000 kilograms move into our cellar and now...

Now he is moving our coal to his cellar.

And yesterday was the worst. Klabouch yelled so terribly.

Eventually he bargained at two thousand.

Look, Mr Knotkov�,

under other circumstances I would perhaps pity him.

but he got us into this mess.

That is Vl��a.

Mr Knotek, do not even undress!

An immediate task is waiting for you.

It's terrible. I felt like a schoolboy.

Perhaps I should memorize it.

How did they reacted?

They tried to talk me out of drinking.

Where now?

We broke window at Kadlecs, so...

After this I will set you free.

By the bench there stood an infant, Screaming, screaming, loud and wild;

'Come for him, you Noonday Witch, then! Come and take this pest for me!'---

In the door into the kitchen,

Someone softly turns the key.

Good afternoon.

Good afternoon.

Mrs Kadlecov�, I've came to apologize

for the last night. We...

But it wasn't my window. Deal it with Mr Kadlec.

And...could you call your husband?

Of course. Come in.

Little, brown-skinned, strange of feature,

On her head a kerchief pinned;

Jirka, tell dad he has a visit.

Good afternoon.

Dad, you have a visit.

Good bye.

Good afternoon. Come in.

With a stick -- crook-legged creature, Voice that whistles like the wind!

Excuse me?

No, nothing. I am here because of the last night.

You broke the window?

- Well, not exactly me. - Well, come in.

Fazeka� with Flieger were throwing, I was just navigating the firing.

Don't worry. Doctor Je�n� said,

he will glaze it, when he move here.

So I am very sorry again and good bye.

Sit down for a while. It started raining outside anyway.

Let's have a drink.

One broken window is not enough?

This is Mr adjutant, Lojza, he led the night maneuvers.

I see, I am famous now...

Come to Balk�n some Saturday. There are cool people too.

Thank you. I am very busy nowadays.

And say hello to Mrs adjutant.

Excuse me for bothering you,

but I forget to ask...

V�ra! Which one is the attic key?

What a cozy attic! I didn't expect that!

Such a fine cozy attic. Clean...

You nailed it with the attic, Mr Knotek.

Well, I am happy about it. It is clean here...

I am satisfied.

Hanging laundry here will be like in a dream.

Well, this is gonna be quite a big bite. But we will manage it somehow.

That is the room, that is not moving?

No, this one is moving. The room which is not moving,

is over there. It is...

It was my wife's room.

We agreed with maestro we will keep this room yet

and that we will put here all the things his sister will take.

Yes.

So let's start here.

So many things collected during one's life.

If any museum takes it at least...

But I was not so famous after all.

What about this?

Crabs and sea urchins.

I don't understand it. I've never collected this in my life.

- Well perhaps your wife. - Not likely, she loathed it!

Here it is! I was looking for them for ages!

These are not crabs, Mr Knotek.

I wrote it there to avoid my wife poking her nose in it.

Where should I put this, Mr B�lek?

Helenka from Liberec... that was an relentless admirer.

Mr Knotek, this was such a beauty!

Tall, black hair and her style was splendid.

Listen. Through each pore of my soul it permeates me

and I essentially feel something indescribably great

and powerful.

Such a splendid style. Many times I didn't understand it.

Here.

Lotty!

You may think I was some kind of Don Juan, but...

it all had pure artistic and platonic nature, Mr Knotek.

Ani�ka!

She had such a a big, lovely freckle

on her buttock.

Thanks for helping us.

Now you have a job at mum's, huh?

- Do you have a tram ticket? - No.

- Here, take them all. - Thanks.

You know where I live now. So drop in sometimes.

Okay.

- Bye, Mr Knotek. - Bye.

- Bye, Mr B�lek. - Good bye. And thank you!

- Well...see you. - See you.

It was you who put my Offenbach to recycle?

Mr B�lek, we just carry the stuff.

But Offenbach into the bin? At most into some secondhand bookshop.

And I have to think about it properly.

Your good Brazilian coffee is getting cold.

Let me tell you, moving this kind of apartment...

Well, we have the whole night.

Not even a quarter of it, but... If my wife didn't push me,

I am not moving.

You are still young. For you it is a change.

But I feel like settling my own inheritance.

Maestro, in a week you will be happy

you don't have to clean so many rooms.

I am afraid I won't enjoy that new apartment much.

Most probably I will move to even smaller soon.

You know, we have a family tomb in Zdislavice.

On a beautiful spot, under the spreading tree.

Eventually it doesn't matter, where they put you,

but I imagine laying there,

watching the leaves above, hearing bees,

birds...

But maestro!

You have a lot of time until thinking like this.

What with the books?

They also need to be sorted out.

But what to discard?

Wagner.

But this...I will not give this. I haven't sung it recently though.

Smetana.

Out of question!

And here, Mozart!

Don Giovanni. Leporello aria.

My favourite performance.

My dear lady,

this is the list of the beauties my master has loved,

A list which I have compiled.

Observe, read along with me.

Observe, read along with me.

In Italy, six hundred and forty;

Somehow I can't.

In Germany, two hundred and thirty-one;

A hundred in France; in Turkey, ninety-one;

But in Spain...

already one thousand

and three.

And three.

Among these are peasant girls,

Maidservants, city girls,

Countesses, baronesses,

Marchionesses, princesses, Women of every rank, Every shape,

every age. Every shape, every age...

I can't anymore...

Meh...

Let's finish it. Are there any more boxes?

I will pick these small things, no?

- Would you mind? - Be my guest.

Look!

Wow!

Wait!

So how does it looks like here?

We have just finished.

Very well, that means B�lek... ...B�lek packed.

Would you like a ride? Our direction is...

No, I live nearby.

P�lp�n, Fazeka�, Jechov�.

Yeah, I would like. Hello.

Please, come in. Good afternoon.

Thank you, gentlemen.

You helped me a lot! Thank you.

You are welcome.

- Thank you. - Good bye.

Hello.

Shall we go?

Thank you.

Please. Come in.

I am back in a minute.

Are you looking on the doggie?

A rear wiper outside, they figure that out.

But only I have the rear wiper inside.

Allright. Let's move on.

So you are moving?

Yeah yeah, moving.

You can't park the van near the house, so we had to put it here.

Fazeka�, stop goofing around!

They are here in 30 minutes.

We are done.

We are done!

We are done!

Regarding moving, these people are usually the most reliable,

Well, sirs, the biggest action in the history

of moving is about to start in 4 minutes.

Sirs! I don't know, madam,

how do you imagine it? Well done!

Come, come in, sirs, come.

I have never - I have never seen this.

This way. Come.

So, what do you think?

What is going on here?

Well, Mrs Jechov�,

tell sirs, what is going on here.

Just tell them, don't be shy.

- I already told you. - Certainly.

You told me, but it doesn't concern me that much,

you know? I just organize the whole action.

But sirs here will be truly joyful because of it.

Well? Tell it.

I changed my mind. I won't move.

See?

- Here it is. - Well, sirs, you heard it.

The biggest action in the history of moving

- ends at Mrs Jechov�'s kitchen. - Such a joy, huh?

Such a joy...

Eleven evacuated families, removal vans on the road...

That is a betrayal. Mrs Jechov�, you know?

A zero hour betrayal.

Men at the front got bullets for this, madam.

I signed it, but M��a said,

it is not validful. Until I move out,

the change is not validful.

Listen, doctor,

she can do this?

Sign and when everything is in process, back down at the last moment?

Well, unfortunatelly she can.

The other thing is, she will have to pay damages.

And the amount won't be small. Probably it will exceed her possibilities.

But it's her business.

In any case, there will be a court.

A court? M��a said until I won't move out,

it is not validful.

In any case, I will sue her.

That is not necessary, Mr engineer,...

that every family sues her separately.

We will sue her collectively

and it will be one big court case.

- What court case? - Big one.

- M��a, they say... - M��a?

- M��a is here? - No.

Well, show yourself, M��a!

Where are you? Don't hide!

Come in, Mrs doctor.

Enlighten us!

I am not some Mrs doctor!

No? I thought you are a doctor of Law, when you know so precisely,

what is validful.

I clean at District Housing Management Office.

There was a similar case.

People changed their minds and no one could force them.

You think it is so easy for me?

I have been living here for 30 years, that is half of a life!

She doesn't want to make troubles. But she cried here all day.

So I told her to stay here,

that I will help her with the caretaking.

You will? I hope you will also help her with the damage replacement.

I did preliminarily counting,

it makes circa 17- 20 000 K�. (600 - 700 Euro)

At this window, he kept talking with people,

when he couldn't walk.

Her deceased husband.

People stopped for a talk and that were his only happy moments,

because he couldn't do anything.

- I still see him sitting there. - ...Mrs Jechov�,

it is not so far from here.

Your friend is there in 10 minutes by tram.

I told her we can visit each other.

- See? - See?

Well, sirs, let's get this over with.

It costs more thousands every minute.

Liaison, inform each participant of the change.

- But... - Take removal vans back...

Expenses are paid by Jechov� et al. Please.

In the meantime we will discuss if it's necessary to sue you

or if you pay it voluntarily.

But I didn't know that. If I had known that,

I would have talk her out of it.

Ane�ka, you should tell it's so many families and so much money.

I didn't know that.

Ane�ka?

Okay then, call him back.

I will move out for you.

Well, it could be too late, madam.

Mr doctor, I beg you, call him back.

Where would she, a poor woman, take so much money?

Well, okay, I will try.

But I highly doubt. Such a quick liaison, you know...

I really don't know.

Well, let's try it. Liaison?

You have such luck. He is preparing himself before ride.

Don't go anywhere.

You can't stay here! A moving will take place here.

- Good afternoon. - Good afternoon.

Sirs, there has been a slight delay.

- Take a little break. - Thanks, boss.

Everything will be settled in an hour. Fazeka�,..

- You will help them moving, okay? - Okay.

All right.

I tell you, I nearly give it up.

Do you know, what Napoleon said, when he and his infantry

were undergoing the most intense artillery fire in Austerlitz?

"Those who are hot shall unbutton their coat."

Imagine we nearly didn't move.

- Excuse me. - Pardon.

- Jechov� made a scene. - Dad, go.

They are waiting on you.

So, kids!

Is it clear? You will be good and we'll meet in a new house in the evening. Bye.

- Bye. - Kids, say goodbye to the flat.

- You have been born here. - Bye, flat!

Such a cool echo!

- Bye, flat! - Now go, go!

I will arrange a headquarters here.

What is happening, Dudek, Posp�il? What are you paid for?

Nobody is upstairs?

We can't reach anybody.

- Nobody opens the door. - That's impossible.

Mr B�lek? Maestro?

Halloo...

Maestro...

Wake up.

Come on, hey.

Maestro, wake up.

Did something happen?

I don't know.

He died or what.

We should call a doctor.

Phone...where...

Be so kind and go and calm down the removalists.

I will call Radosta.

Sirs, a tiny complication occurred.

Be so kind, take a little break.

Thanks.

Thanks, boss.

Is he at home or not?

He is...at home. He is.

So let's close it and go.

Did you reach him?

He will come.

Come here.

Sit down.

Who else knows about this?

Just us three.

That's all we need.

I know, it is sad, but...

this doesn't change anything about the change, right?

Maestro agreed and he packed everything.

Our furniture is in front of the house and in our flat are complete strangers.

You can't turn everything back, can you?

Dear madam, your opinion is highly logical,

but the law says something completely different.

The change is valid in the moment of realization.

And until Mr B�lek moves in a new flat, the change has not been realized.

So that is the end.

Let's not throw in the towel.

Would you mind?

Je�n�.

- What? - Who is calling?

That Radosta went crazy or what. He is reading a crime story, now.

You know, they are dealing with such a peculiar case there, the writer...

But yes, I just wait for my liaison, so I read. And what.

Eisenhower did the same,

during the invasion.

Yes, yes, it will be just a second. Look, Mr doctor,

there is a corpse, in the story...

And my question is, can the coroner says

with an accuracy of minutes, when the dead occurred?

Of course it can wait, so I will just think about it the whole day.

Yes? What accuracy...?

It depends on the cooling of the body? Cover him!

Yes...yes...

The coroner says the same.

But I thought he should know it more accurately.

He can't?

Yes? That's great.

So he can't.

Yes, very well, thank you very much, Mr doctor.

Well, Mr B�lek will die in his new flat. It's the only option.

You want to move him, when he is...

It's the only option!

I am sorry, but we can't do this.

Wait, Vladim�r, it is really probably the only option.

What else can we do? If Mr doctor takes full responsibility?

But we know about it. you can never deny it.

That makes us accomplices.

But nobody can prove it, Vladim�r.

We will pack our things and go...

And it's doctor's business, how he will arrange it.

I'm sorry, but how do you imagine it, that I will flip him over my shoulder

and run with him over the street?

Do you think...

I will take part in...,

with this poor...

This is out of the question. Absolutely.

I've said from the beginning the whole monstrous action is crap.

But ok, I was willing to swallow a lot.

But nobody can ask me

to pack corpses into carpets.

V�ra, you know

I can be swayed. But there are some situations

and boundaries I can't cross!

Sirs, do not tilt.

When the crystal chandelier is spilled,

no one can put the tinkles back together.

Mr doctor, shouldn't we change it and go directly to that Je�n�?

No, absolutely not.

You have to put Opatrn� in the back.

Everything is related. Look after it,

I will deal with P�lp�n and I am right there.

Better burn out.

Hello!

Greetings!

- God bless you. - I am so happy you arrived.

Everything went according to plan. But boss, they will be in our way!

Sirs, just the heavy things. We will manage the small ones.

Jarmilka!

Hop...

- There you go... - Jesus Christ...

What's the problem? Why are you not loading?

Easy, Bandaska, easy.

We are loaded.

Mr B�lek haven't come?

Mr B�lek? He...

They will come together with Radosta.

Pity, because I reserved this kind of...

a piece of his furniture and we were supposed to hand it over here.

If you agreed,

I will had it over to you.

So...what was it?

Well, it was this kind of low...

This one?

No. This kind of...I don't see it anywhere. This kind of divan.

Well, it will be better to wait until they arrive.

Wait. There it is! That's it!

Mr doctor! Hey! Doctor Je�n� wants this divan.

He claims maestro B�lek promised it to him.

Yes. Sirs, take the sofa.

Maestro B�lek hasn't come with you?

Come. Come, come, sirs, come.

Maestro went sick, so he stopped...

Carefully!

at the pharmacy. Well, when they put the sofa upstairs,

I will bring it back to you.

- Is it necessary? - Please, go.

You can take it off, right? Mr doctor, that is so pointless.

You can take this off and I can load it.

Have you ever move crystal chandelier?

Have you? So you see.

Put it over here.

Leave it here.

And continue.

Close the door, man!

So? Is it damaged?

No, everything is ok. Go down, Mr doctor,

look after the moving, we will unpack it carefully.

I'm done. I will just load this and go.

Mr doctor, we have to tell you something.

Mr B�lek has died. In the morning.

Apparently before Knoteks arrived.

We had to move him.

That's him? Quick, unpack him!

Karl��ek, stop it. Help me with that cooker, so I can make the snack.

Jarmilka, come and take the stuff from the ottoman. Then I will help you.

It would fall out on the stairs. What do you got there?

But this is not mine, Bohou�ek.

What? What are you saying?

I thought it is yours.

Oh my goodness! That's a trouble.

Our ottoman has been switched.

Listen, where is the number, I mean the one, you know,

where we should call, when something.

Bohou�ek, is this door buzzer? This button over here?

I don't know. It looks like that.

It is constantly occupied.

Let me tell you, if Flieger or Opatrn� unpack it,

we will have another dead man.

Occupied. Keep trying it, we are going there.

And if you were lucky... Mr doctor, come.

and succeed to reach them,

tell them to not touch it under any circumstances.

Where should we put it, boss?

Put it somewhere over here.

Jesus Christ!

- Maestro! Are you alright? - I am. And you?

Somebody try to deflate.

Try to puncture it or they are gonna suffocate!

Sir, don't smoke here.

Some gasoline can be spilled here.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

Watch out! Watch out!

- Are you alright, Mr doctor? - Such a device, huh?

Otherwise we would be smashed to smithereens.

What about your hand?

There you go. They leave it here.

- That will be out of tune for sure. - No problem to fix it.

Mr Knotek! We completely forgot about you.

- Doctor... - Yes?

Help me somehow.

What's going on?

I keep hearing him.

Nice apartment.

I won't want to leave,

when I am old.

Karel Jarom�r Erben's Polednice (The Noonday Witch) translated by Susan Reynolds.

English translation of Leporello aria "Madamina, il catalogo e questo"

published on the New York City Opera Project at Columbia University.