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1
00:01:34,347 --> 00:01:37,445
-Thanks, Danny. I had fun.
-Yeah, me too.
2
00:01:37,602 --> 00:01:39,571
Hey, hey, hey. What's the hurry?
3
00:01:39,728 --> 00:01:40,939
I gotta get some sleep.
4
00:01:41,104 --> 00:01:44,569
-I have to be at work first thing.
-Find yourself the right guy...
5
00:01:44,733 --> 00:01:48,412
...pretty girl like you won't have to be
punching a time clock at dawn.
6
00:01:48,571 --> 00:01:52,333
Find myself the right guy,
I won't have to go on dates with you.
7
00:01:55,870 --> 00:01:57,757
Come on, Danny.
8
00:01:57,915 --> 00:01:59,553
Let go.
9
00:02:00,084 --> 00:02:02,801
-I mean it.
-Okay.
10
00:02:02,962 --> 00:02:05,049
Okay, but give me one more kiss.
11
00:02:05,214 --> 00:02:08,229
-Come on, give me one more kiss.
-Okay.
12
00:02:09,595 --> 00:02:11,351
I want a real one.
13
00:02:15,769 --> 00:02:17,156
Good night.
14
00:02:19,565 --> 00:02:21,534
Let me bum a cigarette
for the ride home.
15
00:02:21,691 --> 00:02:23,696
There's a machine at the gas station.
16
00:02:23,860 --> 00:02:26,625
-Come on, baby.
-Good night.
17
00:02:59,024 --> 00:03:01,660
For crying out loud.
18
00:03:04,698 --> 00:03:08,412
Can't you take drop dead
for an answer?
19
00:03:09,411 --> 00:03:12,177
Look, I thought I told you--
20
00:03:12,873 --> 00:03:16,172
Hello, Nora. it's me.
21
00:03:40,905 --> 00:03:41,997
Hello.
22
00:03:45,869 --> 00:03:48,289
Blue Moon Agency
of Private Detection.
23
00:03:48,455 --> 00:03:52,086
We yearn to guide you
in a virtuous direction.
24
00:03:52,251 --> 00:03:57,306
From the dawn of fair youth,
till hoary convalescence.
25
00:03:57,466 --> 00:04:02,721
To fight the good fight
is our goal and our essence.
26
00:04:04,931 --> 00:04:07,317
Can you please hold?
27
00:04:08,895 --> 00:04:12,443
All right, look. This is not my job.
28
00:04:12,608 --> 00:04:16,036
I am not trained in the kind of
commercial doggerel Agnes dishes out.
29
00:04:16,195 --> 00:04:19,078
Albeit,
well-crafted commercial doggerel.
30
00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:23,120
And if anyone here thinks
he or she can do better...
31
00:04:23,285 --> 00:04:25,421
...they are heartily invited to try.
32
00:04:28,500 --> 00:04:31,004
Obnoxious, toady,
spewing gobbledegook.
33
00:04:31,170 --> 00:04:33,507
Pretentious, a put on,
take a mirror and look.
34
00:04:33,673 --> 00:04:36,258
You make me vomit,
you fuzz-coated yutz.
35
00:04:36,426 --> 00:04:38,929
Whoever sired you was totally nuts.
36
00:04:39,094 --> 00:04:41,599
Nice talk, MacGi|icuddy.
37
00:04:41,765 --> 00:04:43,568
-Herbert.
-Agnes, where have you been?
38
00:04:43,726 --> 00:04:45,862
In the necessary room.
What are you doing?
39
00:04:46,020 --> 00:04:48,570
Someone had to answer.
It was ringing off the hook.
40
00:04:48,731 --> 00:04:50,238
Thank you. We regret the delay.
41
00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,736
We're eager
to hear what you have to say.
42
00:04:53,111 --> 00:04:55,163
Hello. Hello?
43
00:04:55,322 --> 00:04:57,374
They hung up.
What did you say to them?
44
00:04:57,531 --> 00:04:59,204
Well, I don't recall exactly.
45
00:04:59,368 --> 00:05:02,050
-Did you rhyme?
-Of course, I rhymed.
46
00:05:02,204 --> 00:05:05,170
I metaphored. I similied.
I metonymied.
47
00:05:05,333 --> 00:05:07,219
I even hyperboled. Ask them.
48
00:05:09,629 --> 00:05:13,010
Herbert Quentin Viola,
don't you ever do that again.
49
00:05:13,174 --> 00:05:15,310
No one answers this phone
except numero uno.
50
00:05:15,469 --> 00:05:17,107
Not Miss Hayes. Not Mr. Addison.
51
00:05:17,262 --> 00:05:19,518
No lips touch this receiver
except for mine.
52
00:05:19,682 --> 00:05:21,652
-What happens when you're not here?
-I'm never not here.
53
00:05:21,810 --> 00:05:24,444
What about that little journey
to the necessary room?
54
00:05:24,605 --> 00:05:27,322
I time myself. I can make it there
and back in six rings.
55
00:05:27,482 --> 00:05:30,163
Five on a day
when I haven't had a lot of coffee.
56
00:05:33,614 --> 00:05:35,287
Good morning, Mr. Addison.
57
00:05:36,451 --> 00:05:38,954
-I mean, good afternoon.
-Already?
58
00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:40,793
Where does the time go?
59
00:05:41,290 --> 00:05:43,758
-Rough night?
-Well, not really a rough night.
60
00:05:43,917 --> 00:05:45,721
It's a pretty rough morning though.
61
00:05:45,878 --> 00:05:48,464
Sun came up a little earlier
than usual.
62
00:05:51,217 --> 00:05:55,359
You'd think for all the rent we pay here
we could get a room that didn't spin.
63
00:05:55,681 --> 00:05:57,852
-What's on the agenda for today?
-Well.
64
00:05:58,017 --> 00:06:00,353
Oh, there's no need to shout,
Miss Di Pesto.
65
00:06:00,519 --> 00:06:02,240
Oh, sorry.
66
00:06:02,397 --> 00:06:04,282
-There was a meeting.
-A meeting?
67
00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:05,532
Ten o'clock.
68
00:06:06,067 --> 00:06:10,577
-This meeting, was it important?
-It was a client.
69
00:06:10,740 --> 00:06:13,456
-So I guess Miss Hayes knew about it.
-Yes, sir.
70
00:06:13,617 --> 00:06:17,497
And being the shrewd devil that she is,
she probably noticed my absence.
71
00:06:17,664 --> 00:06:18,791
Kind of.
72
00:06:18,956 --> 00:06:23,465
Okay, well, that's enough business.
Let's go to lunch. Come on. I'm buying.
73
00:06:24,796 --> 00:06:26,683
Yes, Miss Hayes.
74
00:06:26,841 --> 00:06:28,763
Yes, Miss Hayes.
75
00:06:29,552 --> 00:06:30,643
That was Miss Hayes.
76
00:06:30,803 --> 00:06:33,140
She wants to see you
in her office now.
77
00:06:34,598 --> 00:06:35,726
How do I look?
78
00:06:37,018 --> 00:06:38,111
-Lie.
-Lie.
79
00:06:39,187 --> 00:06:40,778
Lie.
80
00:06:41,189 --> 00:06:43,243
I'm not gonna lie.
I'm gonna go in there...
81
00:06:43,401 --> 00:06:45,787
...look her in the peepers
and tell her the truth.
82
00:06:45,946 --> 00:06:49,743
When I came to on the mother ship,
the pinheads from the planet Spud...
83
00:06:49,908 --> 00:06:52,756
...were inserting a glowing orb
into my pancreas.
84
00:06:52,911 --> 00:06:56,174
I, of course, felt duty-bound
to call the National Enquire...
85
00:06:56,332 --> 00:06:58,467
...and then I came to the office.
86
00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:06,427
Hi.
87
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:09,179
-When did you get in?
-Right to the juggler, huh?
88
00:07:09,346 --> 00:07:11,316
It was just a question.
89
00:07:11,474 --> 00:07:13,146
Okay.
90
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:17,362
I'm not gonna lie to you.
There were no pinheads.
91
00:07:17,522 --> 00:07:20,952
-There-- There is no planet Spud.
-No big deal.
92
00:07:21,110 --> 00:07:23,791
No big deal?
Am I on the right show?
93
00:07:23,946 --> 00:07:27,245
Don't worry. I'm sure you had a reason
why you missed the meeting.
94
00:07:27,408 --> 00:07:30,754
Since you wheedled it out of me.
The last thing I remember clearly...
95
00:07:30,912 --> 00:07:35,255
...is bobbing for lemon wedges with a
guy who makes pot holders out of hair.
96
00:07:35,417 --> 00:07:38,431
Gosh, Dave, what happened then?
Well, woke up on a houseboat...
97
00:07:38,587 --> 00:07:41,008
...with a female wrestler
on my way to Catalina.
98
00:07:41,174 --> 00:07:43,854
-Did you have fun?
-One of the top 23 times in my life.
99
00:07:44,010 --> 00:07:47,604
Great. I have something for you.
100
00:07:51,101 --> 00:07:54,484
It's pink. it's got my name on it.
101
00:07:54,647 --> 00:07:56,901
-And it ain't to title to the beamer.
-Open it.
102
00:07:57,066 --> 00:08:00,614
And give you the satisfaction
of terminating my services. Never.
103
00:08:03,824 --> 00:08:06,410
-I quit.
-David, I didn't fire you.
104
00:08:08,204 --> 00:08:10,376
-What was that?
-A bonus cheque.
105
00:08:10,540 --> 00:08:11,928
A bonus cheque?
106
00:08:12,084 --> 00:08:15,133
-As in pay to the order of--
-Yes.
107
00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:17,134
We got the money
on the Anselmo case...
108
00:08:17,297 --> 00:08:18,769
...and that was your share.
109
00:08:19,592 --> 00:08:21,144
I come to work two hours late...
110
00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:25,264
...looking like something that got found
under a sofa, and you give me a bonus.
111
00:08:25,431 --> 00:08:26,689
What is reality?
112
00:08:26,850 --> 00:08:29,271
I've accepted the fact
that you miss meetings.
113
00:08:30,187 --> 00:08:31,693
-You have?
-I have.
114
00:08:32,106 --> 00:08:33,198
Oh, no, you haven't.
115
00:08:33,357 --> 00:08:36,988
Getting mad takes too much time
and energy. I've got a business to run.
116
00:08:37,153 --> 00:08:38,575
Oh, we're gonna get the old:
117
00:08:38,737 --> 00:08:41,206
"I'm not gonna get mad
at David anymore" speech.
118
00:08:41,365 --> 00:08:43,667
Happens once a season,
lasts about one episode.
119
00:08:43,827 --> 00:08:46,757
The last time I heard this speech
you were dancing around...
120
00:08:46,913 --> 00:08:49,418
...doing a hoochie coochie
with a spaceman.
121
00:08:49,584 --> 00:08:51,755
If I'm gonna bein business
with you...
122
00:08:51,919 --> 00:08:54,684
...I'm gonna have to learn
to accept you for who you are.
123
00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:57,722
Once and for all, finally and forever,
warts and all.
124
00:08:57,884 --> 00:08:59,605
Warts? I haven't touched a toad.
125
00:08:59,761 --> 00:09:02,610
Quirks, faults, flaws, fetishes,
call it whatever you want.
126
00:09:02,765 --> 00:09:04,604
I'm not gonna let it get to me
anymore.
127
00:09:04,767 --> 00:09:06,440
Maddie, don't bulldoze a bulldozer.
128
00:09:06,603 --> 00:09:09,071
Don't kid a Kidder.
I know you. I know who you are.
129
00:09:09,230 --> 00:09:12,409
And I know what's going through
that honey-blonde noggin of yours.
130
00:09:12,566 --> 00:09:15,581
-You think you know me.
-Inside and out, orchestra to balcony.
131
00:09:15,738 --> 00:09:19,333
Like the back of my hand. And I'm on
pretty good terms with my hand.
132
00:09:19,492 --> 00:09:22,505
You're wrong. There's lots of things
you don't know about me.
133
00:09:22,662 --> 00:09:26,174
It really makes you uncomfortable
that I know where all your buttons are.
134
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:28,802
I'm not a car stereo, David.
I'm not uncomfortable.
135
00:09:28,961 --> 00:09:32,390
-Then why is your nostril flaring?
-I'm annoyed with this conversation.
136
00:09:32,548 --> 00:09:35,183
I know because I got your number.
I got your handicap.
137
00:09:35,343 --> 00:09:37,894
You're as regular as clockwork,
like Old Faithful...
138
00:09:38,054 --> 00:09:40,356
...only younger and steamier.
139
00:09:40,516 --> 00:09:44,312
I'm not saying there aren't things about
me that you know better than anyone.
140
00:09:44,478 --> 00:09:47,408
There's a lot of other things,
parts of me you've never seen.
141
00:09:47,564 --> 00:09:50,068
Like that extra thigh
you got stashed in the closet?
142
00:09:50,235 --> 00:09:54,459
David. Parts of me that no one else
has ever seen, and I like it that way.
143
00:09:54,615 --> 00:09:57,830
You know what you know about me
because I want you to know it.
144
00:09:57,994 --> 00:09:59,546
I see. So, what you're saying...
145
00:09:59,703 --> 00:10:03,002
...is that after four years,
93 million miles to the sun and back...
146
00:10:03,165 --> 00:10:05,218
...that this is a casual relationship.
147
00:10:05,376 --> 00:10:07,096
Of course not, David.
148
00:10:07,253 --> 00:10:11,431
You know that's not true.
We're friends. Good friends.
149
00:10:11,593 --> 00:10:13,847
More than good friends. We're ....
150
00:10:16,514 --> 00:10:18,483
-Pals.
-Pals?
151
00:10:18,641 --> 00:10:20,693
Pals.
152
00:10:20,851 --> 00:10:23,700
For a minute there I thought you
were gonna say chums.
153
00:10:23,855 --> 00:10:26,075
Or worse yet, "buddies."
154
00:10:26,233 --> 00:10:27,704
What's so horrible about pals?
155
00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:30,992
Nothing, nothing, pals is all right.
Pals is a-- Pals is a blast.
156
00:10:31,155 --> 00:10:35,118
Pals chat with each other.
They go for strolls together.
157
00:10:35,285 --> 00:10:37,789
They take each other to lunch
and pick up the cheque.
158
00:10:37,953 --> 00:10:41,798
I even heard of pals exchanging
amusing stories with each other.
159
00:10:41,959 --> 00:10:44,379
You hear any good jokes lately?
160
00:10:45,255 --> 00:10:47,224
-Mrs. Cooper's here.
-Show her in please.
161
00:10:47,381 --> 00:10:49,601
-Mrs. Cooper?
-Remember the meeting?
162
00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:51,480
The meeting you would've missed...
163
00:10:51,636 --> 00:10:54,223
...but I noticed that toga-party look.
I rescheduled.
164
00:10:54,389 --> 00:10:56,477
I see. But that's not because
you know me.
165
00:10:56,642 --> 00:10:59,276
-No, but I know your habits.
-My habits are not my own.
166
00:10:59,437 --> 00:11:00,481
I merely rent them...
167
00:11:00,647 --> 00:11:03,281
...which is why
I probably can't afford to break them.
168
00:11:05,110 --> 00:11:07,246
Mrs. Cooper, please come in.
169
00:11:07,404 --> 00:11:10,168
I'm Madelyn Hayes.
This is my associate David Addison.
170
00:11:10,324 --> 00:11:11,796
-Hi.
-Won't you sit down?
171
00:11:11,951 --> 00:11:13,339
Thanks.
172
00:11:13,911 --> 00:11:17,009
-Nice office.
-Thank you. How may we help you?
173
00:11:17,165 --> 00:11:19,467
Well, I'm not sure.
I'm married to my husband.
174
00:11:19,626 --> 00:11:21,512
We'll take the case.
175
00:11:22,212 --> 00:11:25,177
We will. You're a sucker
for nut-ball stuff like this.
176
00:11:25,341 --> 00:11:26,384
Please, go on.
177
00:11:26,842 --> 00:11:29,939
Ten years ago, I met this guy
in New Orleans at Mardi Gras.
178
00:11:30,096 --> 00:11:32,944
-You ever been to Mardi Gras?
-No. I'm sure my partner has.
179
00:11:33,100 --> 00:11:34,440
She knows me only too well.
180
00:11:34,601 --> 00:11:36,856
It kind of has a strange effect on you.
181
00:11:37,021 --> 00:11:40,118
It makes you forget
where you're from, how you got there.
182
00:11:40,274 --> 00:11:44,367
Mardi Gras just happens to you,
like an operation or something.
183
00:11:44,529 --> 00:11:48,670
Anyway, the day after I met this guy,
he asked me to marry him.
184
00:11:48,825 --> 00:11:51,756
And so help me,
I couldn't think of a reason not to.
185
00:11:52,288 --> 00:11:55,385
Richard and I spent the next five days
in a hotel room.
186
00:11:55,541 --> 00:11:58,341
It was about
the happiest I've ever been.
187
00:11:58,712 --> 00:12:02,804
And then I wake up Ash Wednesday
morning with a hangover, no husband.
188
00:12:02,966 --> 00:12:05,470
He was gone. Disappeared.
189
00:12:05,928 --> 00:12:08,645
I waited in the hotel room
until my money ran out.
190
00:12:08,806 --> 00:12:12,567
And I tried my best to find him,
but I never saw him again.
191
00:12:12,727 --> 00:12:17,698
I figured it was the Big Easy.
So easy come, easy go, right?
192
00:12:17,857 --> 00:12:20,113
Only it wasn't easy.
193
00:12:20,277 --> 00:12:22,282
It was the one and only time
in my life...
194
00:12:22,446 --> 00:12:25,959
...that I've ever completely connected
with another human being.
195
00:12:26,117 --> 00:12:28,455
So then I got on with my life.
196
00:12:28,620 --> 00:12:30,839
Dated, got serious a few times...
197
00:12:30,998 --> 00:12:33,502
...but I couldn't stop thinking
about this guy.
198
00:12:33,666 --> 00:12:37,381
And believe me, I am not the type
to sit around waiting for anything...
199
00:12:37,546 --> 00:12:39,468
...much less a man.
200
00:12:39,632 --> 00:12:43,346
But I realised I was never gonna be
satisfied till I got him back.
201
00:12:43,512 --> 00:12:47,356
And then a few months ago, he shows
up on my doorstep, out of nowhere.
202
00:12:47,516 --> 00:12:50,198
Did he mention where he'd
been for the past decade?
203
00:12:50,352 --> 00:12:52,903
In jail, in Mexico.
204
00:12:53,064 --> 00:12:55,532
He left me because
he knew the law was on to him.
205
00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:57,198
He figured he better lay low.
206
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:59,745
But they grabbed him in Tijuana
and that was that.
207
00:12:59,905 --> 00:13:01,459
He never tried to contact you?
208
00:13:01,616 --> 00:13:04,463
You ever try to mail a letter
from a Mexican jail?
209
00:13:04,619 --> 00:13:06,920
Once, a long time ago but--
210
00:13:07,079 --> 00:13:10,711
So then he moves in with me and
every thing's been great for a while.
211
00:13:10,875 --> 00:13:13,758
And then one morning
I roll over and look at him.
212
00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:16,555
And I think, who the hell is this guy?
213
00:13:16,715 --> 00:13:19,101
I mean, he says he's my husband
and maybe he is...
214
00:13:19,260 --> 00:13:21,941
...but how would I know really.
215
00:13:22,263 --> 00:13:24,233
You never talked to him about all this?
216
00:13:24,391 --> 00:13:25,778
What am I gonna say?
217
00:13:25,933 --> 00:13:29,362
"Honey, the meatloaf's ready,
and are you really the man I married?"
218
00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:32,321
Miss Hayes and I
completely understand.
219
00:13:32,483 --> 00:13:33,575
We do, don't we?
220
00:13:33,734 --> 00:13:36,915
-We'll take the case.
-Thank you.
221
00:13:37,822 --> 00:13:40,919
I made a copy of his driver's license,
picture's pretty clear.
222
00:13:41,076 --> 00:13:44,290
And I wrote a list of the places
he hangs out.
223
00:13:44,747 --> 00:13:48,709
Maybe it's all in my imagination,
but I gotta know.
224
00:13:48,876 --> 00:13:50,514
Well, we'll do whatever we can.
225
00:13:51,170 --> 00:13:52,761
Thank you.
226
00:13:55,509 --> 00:13:58,856
And you thought our relationship
was screwy.
227
00:14:02,433 --> 00:14:04,105
We've covered the Pitch and Putt...
228
00:14:04,268 --> 00:14:06,605
...Cheese and Go
and Sparky's Beef and Brew.
229
00:14:06,771 --> 00:14:09,157
-What's left?
-Diamond Lee's and the pool hall.
230
00:14:09,316 --> 00:14:10,953
Boy, is this guy a breadwinner.
231
00:14:11,110 --> 00:14:14,408
He earned some right to some
leisure time after 15 years in prison.
232
00:14:14,572 --> 00:14:16,742
You didn't believe Cooper's story,
did you?
233
00:14:16,907 --> 00:14:19,588
-Yes, I did. I take it you didn't.
-You take it right.
234
00:14:19,744 --> 00:14:23,208
-That rap she laid on us was flimsy.
-What's wrong with her story?
235
00:14:23,373 --> 00:14:25,545
Come on, Maddie.
You don't forget a person.
236
00:14:25,709 --> 00:14:28,593
I remember every pore
on every body I've rubbed ribs with.
237
00:14:28,755 --> 00:14:31,720
Every mole, every birthmark,
every hill.
238
00:14:31,882 --> 00:14:34,136
Dimple, pimple, tattoo.
239
00:14:34,301 --> 00:14:37,518
-Tattoo?
-it's right up here. Same as you.
240
00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:40,101
I don't remember everything
about every encounter.
241
00:14:40,266 --> 00:14:42,569
How many are we talking?
Just a ballpark figure.
242
00:14:42,728 --> 00:14:45,232
-it's personal.
-We're discussing a case.
243
00:14:45,398 --> 00:14:49,159
How many people I've been intimate
with is none of your business.
244
00:14:49,319 --> 00:14:52,166
-It has nothing to do with this case.
-Put them together...
245
00:14:52,322 --> 00:14:55,785
...could you get up a game of football?
Basketball? Bridge? Ping-Pong?
246
00:14:55,951 --> 00:14:59,048
-I don't wanna talk about this.
-All right, then I'll tell you.
247
00:14:59,205 --> 00:15:00,629
Six.
248
00:15:00,831 --> 00:15:03,087
There was a football player
in high school...
249
00:15:03,293 --> 00:15:05,298
...under the bleachers after
the big game.
250
00:15:05,462 --> 00:15:08,309
You were worried about your
reputation. When you saw him...
251
00:15:08,465 --> 00:15:10,102
...you threw caution to the wind.
252
00:15:10,467 --> 00:15:12,518
-I'm not listening.
-There was Joe College.
253
00:15:12,677 --> 00:15:15,644
Golf team, madras pants,
had his own room in the frat house.
254
00:15:15,806 --> 00:15:18,192
Had a sign on the door,
said "slippery when wet."
255
00:15:18,351 --> 00:15:22,148
-I hope your enjoying yourself.
-You moved to the city, had an affair.
256
00:15:22,314 --> 00:15:24,699
Probably some unavailable guy,
probably married...
257
00:15:24,858 --> 00:15:27,492
...which you broke off
and took a vow of celibacy...
258
00:15:27,653 --> 00:15:30,371
...which was good until you ran
into the spaceman again.
259
00:15:30,531 --> 00:15:35,421
Does he count twice?
Then you had a fling with a pal.
260
00:15:35,579 --> 00:15:37,666
And that leaves room
for a one-night stand.
261
00:15:37,831 --> 00:15:39,802
-Are you finished?
-Yeah. That's six.
262
00:15:40,376 --> 00:15:41,420
You're wrong.
263
00:15:41,586 --> 00:15:44,089
I don't know if you put out
for the football player.
264
00:15:44,255 --> 00:15:47,220
If the football player
showed up on my doorstep tomorrow...
265
00:15:47,383 --> 00:15:50,398
-...I'm not sure I'd recognise him.
-A cherry bomb like you...
266
00:15:50,554 --> 00:15:52,607
...I'd keep my helmet on too.
267
00:15:54,517 --> 00:15:56,403
Jeez.
268
00:16:06,488 --> 00:16:07,532
"Cue ball."
269
00:16:07,698 --> 00:16:10,796
Owner blew a few million brain cells
coming up with that one.
270
00:16:10,953 --> 00:16:13,835
-Listen. You should hang on me.
-What?
271
00:16:13,996 --> 00:16:17,591
-Drape yourself across me.
-What on earth would I do that for?
272
00:16:17,751 --> 00:16:20,052
A girl like you
is gonna walk in and get ogled.
273
00:16:20,212 --> 00:16:22,762
-I've been ogled by the best of them.
-Yeah.
274
00:16:22,923 --> 00:16:27,184
You walk in there and you're gonna get
ogled, hogled, moogled and boogled.
275
00:16:27,345 --> 00:16:30,809
What makes you think I can't take care
of myself in there? Let me guess.
276
00:16:30,974 --> 00:16:33,857
Something to do with inside
and out, orchestras, balconies.
277
00:16:34,018 --> 00:16:35,573
Front of your hand.
278
00:16:36,397 --> 00:16:38,651
You couldn't be more wrong.
279
00:16:53,749 --> 00:16:57,047
-Oh, my God.
-You're doing all right.
280
00:16:57,211 --> 00:16:59,680
You should try and gets those hips
as skosh closer.
281
00:16:59,839 --> 00:17:01,181
Don't you dare enjoy this.
282
00:17:01,342 --> 00:17:04,439
What are you talking about?
I never worked so hard in my life.
283
00:17:05,596 --> 00:17:07,981
-Don't any of these people have jobs?
-Sure.
284
00:17:08,140 --> 00:17:10,027
Rent themselves out
as heavy machinery.
285
00:17:10,184 --> 00:17:12,070
Nine ball.
286
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:18,454
You know, Maddie, something
not too many people know about me.
287
00:17:18,611 --> 00:17:21,030
I happen to be the E in mean
of pool hustling.
288
00:17:21,197 --> 00:17:23,167
-Give me a break.
-I'll give you a break.
289
00:17:23,325 --> 00:17:26,871
I'll give you a break so tough
it'll make a grown man cry.
290
00:17:27,036 --> 00:17:30,251
You wanna unhook yourself
and go get a cue stick over there?
291
00:17:37,465 --> 00:17:40,479
Take it easy, Little John.
These guys are pussycats. Come on.
292
00:17:40,635 --> 00:17:42,771
Yeah and I'm the Catnip.
293
00:17:44,223 --> 00:17:47,770
-The trick is not to hold it too tight.
-I have played pool before.
294
00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:50,403
What, billiards with your mom
on a cruise ship?
295
00:17:50,814 --> 00:17:54,361
Let me show you
how to play this game. Now.
296
00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:58,789
You wanna let it slide in and out.
297
00:18:00,407 --> 00:18:01,998
.|n..
-And out, David.
298
00:18:02,159 --> 00:18:04,461
I am perfectly capable
of doing this myself.
299
00:18:04,620 --> 00:18:08,464
Yes, I'm sure with a little practise you
can become an excellent stick handler.
300
00:18:08,625 --> 00:18:11,971
It's harder than it looks. I wouldn't
want you to embarrass yourself.
301
00:18:15,884 --> 00:18:19,230
-Oh, no.
-Good going.
302
00:18:26,854 --> 00:18:29,950
Excuse me, fellas.
I think you have an extra ball here.
303
00:18:30,107 --> 00:18:32,741
I'm sorry, our mistake.
304
00:18:33,986 --> 00:18:35,826
Nice belt.
305
00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:43,295
Never hurts to carry a spare, I guess.
306
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,380
Thanks.
307
00:18:58,263 --> 00:19:00,565
Next time,
let's try keep the ball on the table.
308
00:19:00,725 --> 00:19:01,769
David. it's him.
309
00:19:01,935 --> 00:19:04,983
-Richard Cooper.
-You're right, it's our boy.
310
00:19:05,147 --> 00:19:08,325
Buy him a drink,
then take the fingerprints off the glass.
311
00:19:08,483 --> 00:19:11,449
Send a total stranger a cocktail
for no good reason...
312
00:19:11,611 --> 00:19:13,783
...he knows you want something.
Got any money?
313
00:19:13,947 --> 00:19:16,202
Petty-cash envelope from the office.
-How much?
314
00:19:16,367 --> 00:19:19,880
Five hundred dollars. But I need it
to run the office next month.
315
00:19:20,038 --> 00:19:22,625
Look, I'm not using it to play
"In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida"...
316
00:19:22,791 --> 00:19:24,677
...1500 times on the jukebox.
317
00:19:24,835 --> 00:19:27,386
Although it wouldn't be the first time.
Come on.
318
00:19:27,546 --> 00:19:29,598
Let's put our money to work for us.
319
00:19:34,304 --> 00:19:37,069
Interested in a game,
a little nine ball?
320
00:19:37,683 --> 00:19:39,735
-Nope.
-Straight pool, then.
321
00:19:39,894 --> 00:19:42,195
You break. Winner takes the C-note.
322
00:19:42,355 --> 00:19:43,826
Nope.
323
00:19:43,981 --> 00:19:46,282
Winner takes a deuce.
324
00:19:46,441 --> 00:19:47,735
No.
325
00:19:47,901 --> 00:19:49,908
You sure you can beat this guy?
326
00:19:50,071 --> 00:19:52,658
Do balls ball? Is Minnesota fat?
327
00:19:57,538 --> 00:19:59,258
Are we on?
328
00:20:00,583 --> 00:20:02,885
Yeah. We're on.
329
00:20:49,180 --> 00:20:50,685
That was a warm-up game, right?
330
00:20:51,390 --> 00:20:53,894
I don't take money from dopes.
331
00:20:56,019 --> 00:21:00,826
-Scuzzy. But he's got a big heart.
-Not a bad judge of character either.
332
00:21:00,984 --> 00:21:04,615
Should be able to get
a pretty good set of prints off this cue.
333
00:21:08,618 --> 00:21:09,875
In your dreams.
334
00:21:10,036 --> 00:21:13,832
Just walk ahead of me.
Act as if nothing is happening.
335
00:21:18,253 --> 00:21:20,009
Hey.
336
00:21:23,426 --> 00:21:24,636
Your friend's forgetful.
337
00:21:27,388 --> 00:21:29,310
Left his lighter.
338
00:21:30,224 --> 00:21:31,981
Thanks. I'll give it to him.
339
00:21:35,398 --> 00:21:37,533
How did that get in there?
340
00:21:44,491 --> 00:21:47,705
-Think he'll miss it?
-Only if he needs alight.
341
00:22:11,395 --> 00:22:12,440
Here's today's mail.
342
00:22:12,606 --> 00:22:16,319
And would you like me to send out the
second notices on last month's billing?
343
00:22:17,527 --> 00:22:21,668
-Miss Hayes, are you all right?
-Oh, yes. I'm sorry.
344
00:22:21,824 --> 00:22:24,542
I guess I'm still thinking
about that poor man.
345
00:22:24,702 --> 00:22:26,210
Yeah. Bummer.
346
00:22:26,371 --> 00:22:30,133
Getting blown to smithereens
has gotta be a pretty awful way to go.
347
00:22:30,710 --> 00:22:33,592
I wonder what the last thing was
that went through his mind.
348
00:22:33,754 --> 00:22:35,557
The dashboard?
349
00:22:36,633 --> 00:22:39,765
I think I'll go ahead
and send out those second notices.
350
00:22:39,928 --> 00:22:42,894
Agnes. How are you and Burt doing?
351
00:22:44,725 --> 00:22:46,528
We're fine.
352
00:22:46,685 --> 00:22:49,866
-As always.
-Really settling in together.
353
00:22:50,022 --> 00:22:52,573
Yeah. He's my pussycat.
354
00:22:52,734 --> 00:22:54,738
That's nice.
355
00:22:55,862 --> 00:22:58,544
I guess this is really your first
serious relationship.
356
00:22:58,990 --> 00:23:01,957
-Oh, no. I've had bunches.
-Bunches?
357
00:23:02,120 --> 00:23:04,339
You must have dated
a lot of guys in college.
358
00:23:04,497 --> 00:23:06,716
Seven of the busiest years
of my life.
359
00:23:06,875 --> 00:23:10,007
Agnes, would you mind if I asked you
a very personal question?
360
00:23:10,170 --> 00:23:11,925
-Is this a sit-down talk?
-No. No.
361
00:23:12,089 --> 00:23:14,426
You don't have to answer
if you don't want to.
362
00:23:14,592 --> 00:23:18,733
I was just wondering if those guys
you dated in college did you--
363
00:23:18,889 --> 00:23:21,902
I mean, were you intimate with them?
364
00:23:22,058 --> 00:23:25,071
-This is a sit-down talk.
-No, no, no. I'm just being nosey.
365
00:23:25,228 --> 00:23:26,949
That's okay.
366
00:23:27,106 --> 00:23:30,569
-My life's an open book.
-No. I'm sure it's none of my business.
367
00:23:30,735 --> 00:23:32,990
-Did you like them a lot?
-Almost every one.
368
00:23:33,154 --> 00:23:34,791
And you were intimate with them.
369
00:23:34,948 --> 00:23:37,628
-Almost every one of them.
-What happened afterwards?
370
00:23:37,784 --> 00:23:39,291
Oh, usually we'd take a bath.
371
00:23:39,453 --> 00:23:41,292
No, no, no, I mean, afterwards.
372
00:23:41,454 --> 00:23:44,968
After you stopped being intimate.
Were you still friends?
373
00:23:45,126 --> 00:23:48,056
Sure. I mean, who wants
the football team mad at them.
374
00:23:48,212 --> 00:23:50,218
-Football team?
-Never could figure out...
375
00:23:50,381 --> 00:23:52,683
-...which position I liked.
-How did you do it?
376
00:23:52,843 --> 00:23:55,393
-I took a lot of naps in the afternoon.
-No, no.
377
00:23:55,554 --> 00:23:57,441
How did you stay friends
with everyone?
378
00:23:57,724 --> 00:24:00,488
I don't know. It just sort of
happened that way, I guess.
379
00:24:00,643 --> 00:24:03,407
-You didn't find that difficult.
-No.
380
00:24:03,563 --> 00:24:06,910
And you never sat down with someone
to redefine your relationship.
381
00:24:07,067 --> 00:24:09,536
Figure out where you stood,
give yourself a name.
382
00:24:09,696 --> 00:24:13,124
-Like?
-Like just friends...
383
00:24:13,283 --> 00:24:16,082
...former lovers, pals.
384
00:24:18,204 --> 00:24:19,498
Sounds so over with.
385
00:24:19,872 --> 00:24:22,423
Yeah. I guess it does.
386
00:24:22,834 --> 00:24:25,765
I got weird news
and I got really weird news.
387
00:24:25,922 --> 00:24:28,970
Well, busy, busy, busy.
388
00:24:31,553 --> 00:24:34,317
David, I don't think
I can take any more weird news.
389
00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:37,569
-I just found out Agnes has a past.
-Let her in football.
390
00:24:37,725 --> 00:24:39,447
I hear they retired her jersey.
391
00:24:39,603 --> 00:24:42,819
So, what do you want?
Weird or really weird?
392
00:24:42,982 --> 00:24:44,490
-Weird.
-Good choice.
393
00:24:44,651 --> 00:24:47,450
My friend down at Homicide
said the fingerprints match up.
394
00:24:47,612 --> 00:24:49,748
-It was Richard Cooper.
-So it was Cooper.
395
00:24:49,906 --> 00:24:51,247
Yes and no.
396
00:24:51,408 --> 00:24:53,129
Well, it was Richard Cooper.
397
00:24:53,285 --> 00:24:57,841
But it was also John Kravitz, Peter
Wentwhistle, Sam Strankweather...
398
00:24:57,998 --> 00:25:01,713
...Keith Blackpool, and my personal
favourite, Maximillian Petrovsky.
399
00:25:01,878 --> 00:25:05,058
-You mean he had five aliases?
-Aliasi?
400
00:25:05,215 --> 00:25:07,303
Five different names,
five different states.
401
00:25:07,467 --> 00:25:11,264
He was wanted for grand-theft auto,
burglary, breaking and entering...
402
00:25:11,430 --> 00:25:16,153
...mans|aughter, murder one, two, three
and a partridge in a pear tree.
403
00:25:16,311 --> 00:25:17,403
-That man?
-That man.
404
00:25:17,563 --> 00:25:19,284
How could he be? He looked normal.
405
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:22,573
Your average axe murderer's
probably gonna hit the showers ....
406
00:25:22,735 --> 00:25:25,831
-...after a hard day on the rampage.
-Did his wife know?
407
00:25:25,988 --> 00:25:27,626
There was a lot she didn't know.
408
00:25:27,782 --> 00:25:31,246
She didn't know he escaped from
prison, wanted in five different states.
409
00:25:31,410 --> 00:25:35,006
I'm pretty sure she didn't know her
name was Mrs. Maximillian Petrovsky.
410
00:25:35,166 --> 00:25:36,258
Poor thing.
411
00:25:36,417 --> 00:25:39,265
Do the police have any idea
who did it or why?
412
00:25:39,420 --> 00:25:41,591
Nothing solid.
But with a record like that...
413
00:25:41,756 --> 00:25:43,642
...the guy's bound
to have made enemies.
414
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:47,680
And now, moving right along
to really weird news. Voila.
415
00:25:47,846 --> 00:25:49,519
-What's that?
-What's it look like?
416
00:25:52,977 --> 00:25:55,029
A cheque made out to us for 15--
417
00:25:55,188 --> 00:25:56,991
-Is that three zeroes?
-It is.
418
00:25:57,149 --> 00:25:59,035
Who would write a cheque
for so much?
419
00:25:59,192 --> 00:26:01,743
A very grateful
law-enforcement official.
420
00:26:01,904 --> 00:26:02,947
-He would?
-He did.
421
00:26:03,112 --> 00:26:04,454
-He did.
-That is the bounty.
422
00:26:04,615 --> 00:26:07,380
And I don't mean the boat
because our ship just came in.
423
00:26:07,535 --> 00:26:09,208
Cooper had a price on his head.
424
00:26:09,371 --> 00:26:11,375
What shall we do,
get them tanning salons?
425
00:26:11,539 --> 00:26:13,212
-No.
-Right. We should go to Ixtapa.
426
00:26:13,375 --> 00:26:15,676
Spend two months
drizzling butter on each other.
427
00:26:15,835 --> 00:26:17,343
-This is not ours.
-Sure it is.
428
00:26:17,504 --> 00:26:20,601
-I don't care, we're not gonna keep it.
-But why? We found him.
429
00:26:20,758 --> 00:26:23,973
Said, "Dead or alive." Didn't
say anything about being charbroiled.
430
00:26:24,137 --> 00:26:27,685
-You never cease to amaze me.
-I am pretty doggone special, huh?
431
00:26:27,850 --> 00:26:30,946
-You're thinking I'm callous.
-That's exactly what I'm thinking.
432
00:26:31,103 --> 00:26:34,449
Since you know so much, I won't
tell you why we're not gonna keep it.
433
00:26:34,607 --> 00:26:37,157
Come on, Maddie.
I feel sorry for what happened.
434
00:26:37,317 --> 00:26:40,581
But we don't make the rules.
We don't put the bounty on his head.
435
00:26:40,739 --> 00:26:44,203
We found him. We identified him.
We earned that money fair and square.
436
00:26:44,368 --> 00:26:47,251
-We got a right to keep it.
-We're giving it to Nora Cooper.
437
00:26:47,413 --> 00:26:49,916
Nora Cooper?
What can Nora do with 15 grand--?
438
00:26:50,082 --> 00:26:53,713
It's a decent and honourable thing
to do. The subject is closed.
439
00:26:53,878 --> 00:26:56,761
-How could the subject be closed?
-it's a free country.
440
00:26:56,923 --> 00:26:59,143
-Say whatever you want.
-That's very democrat.
441
00:26:59,301 --> 00:27:01,603
I should have known
you're gonna pull something.
442
00:27:01,762 --> 00:27:04,942
Why don't we open the window up
and throw the money to the people.
443
00:27:05,099 --> 00:27:08,777
The next time the bills started piling
up and you go to your chequebook...
444
00:27:08,937 --> 00:27:12,318
...and all you see is red, don't come
looking for old unreliable Dave.
445
00:27:12,482 --> 00:27:15,283
-I don't even know why--
-David, I've already told you.
446
00:27:15,444 --> 00:27:18,578
I accept the fact that you're callous,
course, tardy, unreliable.
447
00:27:18,740 --> 00:27:21,670
Just accept the fact that
we're not gonna accept this cheque.
448
00:27:21,826 --> 00:27:22,870
-Okay.
-Fine. Thanks.
449
00:27:23,036 --> 00:27:25,670
How about a fifty-fifty split.
There's plenty of money.
450
00:27:25,831 --> 00:27:29,378
David, 10 years is a long time to wait
for something and not get it. Okay.
451
00:27:29,542 --> 00:27:33,256
Maybe I'm being more sentimental than
practical. Maybe I'm just being stupid.
452
00:27:33,423 --> 00:27:35,844
Do you know
what that woman got for being there...
453
00:27:36,009 --> 00:27:38,180
...for all those years for that man?
Nothing.
454
00:27:38,970 --> 00:27:40,643
Why do you want me to have this?
455
00:27:40,807 --> 00:27:42,692
I feel it's the least we could do.
456
00:27:43,601 --> 00:27:45,072
But it's so much money.
457
00:27:45,602 --> 00:27:48,901
I've endorsed the cheque over to you.
All you have to do is cash it.
458
00:27:50,733 --> 00:27:52,704
Well, that's very generous of you.
459
00:27:55,531 --> 00:27:58,164
I don't know what else to say.
460
00:27:58,659 --> 00:28:01,838
It's so hard for me to think
about money now.
461
00:28:01,996 --> 00:28:04,167
Especially this money.
462
00:28:04,499 --> 00:28:06,968
I know how you must feel,
Mrs. Cooper.
463
00:28:07,127 --> 00:28:10,224
I'm really sorry
everything worked out this way.
464
00:28:12,049 --> 00:28:15,347
He was so nervous, so scared.
465
00:28:15,510 --> 00:28:18,229
He's always looking
over his shoulder.
466
00:28:18,390 --> 00:28:21,070
Not at all the man I remember.
467
00:28:22,602 --> 00:28:27,325
What little I could remember.
I guess that's what made me wonder.
468
00:28:28,442 --> 00:28:30,329
Well...
469
00:28:30,486 --> 00:28:35,043
...whatever he was looking for
found him first.
470
00:28:36,743 --> 00:28:40,836
I just wish he could have told me,
confided in me.
471
00:28:41,373 --> 00:28:44,340
But we had so little time together.
472
00:28:44,711 --> 00:28:46,798
So many years apart.
473
00:28:46,963 --> 00:28:48,885
We were strangers.
474
00:28:49,882 --> 00:28:53,514
Mrs. Cooper,
if there's anything I can do.
475
00:28:53,679 --> 00:28:56,562
Well, you did what I hired you to do.
476
00:29:22,044 --> 00:29:25,675
-So how did it go?
-Fine. She was very grateful.
477
00:29:33,724 --> 00:29:35,065
Yeah.
478
00:29:35,267 --> 00:29:38,613
Now, she's buying rounds
down at Sparky's Beef and Brew.
479
00:29:38,979 --> 00:29:41,780
-David, please, I'm hushed.
-Yeah.
480
00:29:41,941 --> 00:29:43,828
But it's a good kind of hushed?
481
00:29:43,985 --> 00:29:45,159
You went out there...
482
00:29:45,319 --> 00:29:49,662
...rolled up your sleeves, dug up
some dirt, ruined a woman's life...
483
00:29:49,824 --> 00:29:51,665
...and gave away all our money.
484
00:29:51,828 --> 00:29:54,413
I can think of a more rewarding job
than that.
485
00:29:54,581 --> 00:29:57,085
Unless, of course,
you work for the government.
486
00:29:57,792 --> 00:30:00,758
-Heading home?
-To peace and quiet.
487
00:30:05,426 --> 00:30:10,859
So, what's it gonna be tonight,
diet delight out of a plastic bag?
488
00:30:11,015 --> 00:30:15,856
A little chardonnay.
A candlelit bubble bath for one.
489
00:30:16,104 --> 00:30:20,446
A little late news, and then
off to dreamland all by yourself.
490
00:30:20,859 --> 00:30:24,787
I know what you've been doing, David.
Mapping me out like you've been doing.
491
00:30:24,948 --> 00:30:27,083
Who I've slept with.
When, where, how, why.
492
00:30:27,242 --> 00:30:29,578
-Only to prove a point.
-And you've proved it.
493
00:30:30,871 --> 00:30:33,635
You do know me better
than anybody in the world.
494
00:30:33,791 --> 00:30:37,468
Better than I wanna admit.
Is that what you wanted to hear?
495
00:30:37,627 --> 00:30:39,135
Thank you.
496
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:43,227
What I resent is:
You say you know me...
497
00:30:43,385 --> 00:30:47,147
...but you make it sound
like I'm a territory you've settled.
498
00:30:47,306 --> 00:30:50,271
Or a piece of music you've mastered.
499
00:30:50,559 --> 00:30:53,656
That's all right, David. I understand.
500
00:30:53,812 --> 00:30:55,984
Because I know you too.
501
00:30:56,399 --> 00:30:58,986
You're just as confused about us
as I am.
502
00:30:59,153 --> 00:31:02,249
As far as I'm concerned there isn't
anything confusing about us.
503
00:31:02,697 --> 00:31:04,454
"Us" banters.
504
00:31:04,617 --> 00:31:06,669
And "us" solve cases.
505
00:31:06,827 --> 00:31:09,046
And "us" used to do it...
506
00:31:09,205 --> 00:31:11,923
...a lot more than "us"
is doing it now.
507
00:31:12,083 --> 00:31:14,883
Okay, be glib.
Glib is what you do best.
508
00:31:15,045 --> 00:31:17,726
But the truth,
not your version or my version...
509
00:31:17,882 --> 00:31:21,430
...but the plain and simple truth is
we're trying to climb this ladder...
510
00:31:21,594 --> 00:31:23,848
...from the middle.
We're not at the beginning.
511
00:31:24,013 --> 00:31:27,277
We've got a ways to go and we don't
know where we're gonna end up.
512
00:31:27,434 --> 00:31:31,575
But we're on this ladder
and I don't see a way off.
513
00:31:35,151 --> 00:31:36,705
So, what shall we do?
514
00:31:37,529 --> 00:31:39,451
Don' t look down.
515
00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:52,761
So you don't really wanna eat dinner
out of a plastic bag tonight, do you?
516
00:31:52,921 --> 00:31:54,641
I'm not married to the idea.
517
00:31:56,968 --> 00:32:00,230
-What are you in the mood for?
-What are you in the mood for?
518
00:32:01,514 --> 00:32:04,064
A nice little bistro...
519
00:32:04,225 --> 00:32:05,981
...couple of steaks.
520
00:32:06,144 --> 00:32:09,324
Fortunately,
I already made reservations.
521
00:32:11,191 --> 00:32:12,366
Don't answer.
522
00:32:17,073 --> 00:32:19,576
Hello. Yes, this is she.
523
00:32:19,741 --> 00:32:21,296
When?
524
00:32:21,953 --> 00:32:23,507
Thank you.
525
00:32:24,748 --> 00:32:28,509
Downers and Scotch is one way to get
over Mardi Gras. That was the police.
526
00:32:28,669 --> 00:32:30,509
Nora Cooper is dead.
527
00:32:33,466 --> 00:32:35,139
Is that the sun coming up?
528
00:32:35,301 --> 00:32:38,564
Either that or the moon's
got one hell of an infection.
529
00:32:38,930 --> 00:32:40,057
Can you believe it?
530
00:32:40,223 --> 00:32:43,356
Nobody shouts suicide,
it keeps the police stationed all night.
531
00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:47,197
I would have been asleep hours ago
if you remembered to pay your tickets.
532
00:32:47,357 --> 00:32:50,322
Well, I figured the authorities
prefer to get one big cheque.
533
00:32:50,485 --> 00:32:54,079
Anyway, the bail bonder says
he'll drop the felony no parking.
534
00:32:54,238 --> 00:32:56,826
-So how about that dinner?
-At 6 in the morning?
535
00:32:56,992 --> 00:33:00,671
We shouldn't have to wait for a table.
I know a place. Cackles on a raft...
536
00:33:00,830 --> 00:33:03,511
...cups of Joe.
You'll be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
537
00:33:03,666 --> 00:33:05,636
-I just wanna go to bed.
-All right.
538
00:33:05,794 --> 00:33:08,179
But the way to my heart's
through my stomach.
539
00:33:08,338 --> 00:33:10,841
I thought you said this place
was around the corner.
540
00:33:11,008 --> 00:33:13,477
-I didn't say which corner.
-I don't see any.
541
00:33:13,636 --> 00:33:16,401
-Well, I'm taking the scenic route.
-What are you up to?
542
00:33:16,556 --> 00:33:19,142
-Nothing.
-I smell one of your secret agendas.
543
00:33:19,309 --> 00:33:22,607
I just haven't had
my morning shower yet, that's all.
544
00:33:24,857 --> 00:33:27,869
-The truth is I started thinking.
-I hate it when you do that.
545
00:33:28,026 --> 00:33:30,875
What I'm thinking about is:
I'm thinking about that cheque.
546
00:33:31,030 --> 00:33:32,751
The one with 15 and lots of zeroes.
547
00:33:32,907 --> 00:33:34,794
-Nora's cheque?
-I can't see how Nora...
548
00:33:34,952 --> 00:33:37,288
...has much use for it anymore.
549
00:33:37,454 --> 00:33:39,590
-I know what you're thinking.
-You don't.
550
00:33:39,749 --> 00:33:43,047
-You're thinking, "That selfish swine."
-That's the 9:00 version.
551
00:33:43,210 --> 00:33:45,429
I admit,
at first blush it does seem selfish.
552
00:33:45,588 --> 00:33:48,139
And cruel and horrible
and ulterior and wrong.
553
00:33:48,300 --> 00:33:51,065
Don't you think
you're being a tad judgemental here?
554
00:33:51,220 --> 00:33:53,557
You haven't done me the courtesy
of hearing me.
555
00:33:53,722 --> 00:33:55,443
I'm all ears.
556
00:33:55,933 --> 00:33:59,860
Fortunately, not all ears.
Look, we just go back to her house.
557
00:34:00,021 --> 00:34:02,156
-We get the cheque. Listen to me.
-I won't.
558
00:34:02,314 --> 00:34:05,364
-it's the sensible thing to do.
-Stealing a dead woman's money?
559
00:34:05,527 --> 00:34:07,615
Stealing and retrieving
are very different.
560
00:34:07,780 --> 00:34:10,117
Why don't we just
go after her fillings too.
561
00:34:10,283 --> 00:34:13,001
The price of gold's
about to take a nosedive-- Maddie.
562
00:34:13,161 --> 00:34:15,296
Stop the car now.
563
00:34:18,417 --> 00:34:19,460
Now turn around.
564
00:34:19,625 --> 00:34:21,632
-Stop the car or turn around?
-David.
565
00:34:21,795 --> 00:34:24,513
Look we gave her the money.
It was a decent thing to do.
566
00:34:24,674 --> 00:34:27,438
In retrospect, I'm glad we did it.
But now she's gone.
567
00:34:27,593 --> 00:34:30,275
And I believe she'd want us
to have the dough. I do.
568
00:34:30,430 --> 00:34:32,850
What about her family?
Everybody has a family.
569
00:34:33,016 --> 00:34:35,318
The family that's gonna
come out of the drain...
570
00:34:35,477 --> 00:34:38,942
...when they get wind of this. Do you
really think Nora would want that?
571
00:34:39,106 --> 00:34:41,871
Greedy, grasping relatives
bickering over her money?
572
00:34:42,027 --> 00:34:45,159
Right. She'd rather have
greedy, grasping strangers have it.
573
00:34:45,322 --> 00:34:48,751
Look. We-- You gave it to her
because you thought she needed it.
574
00:34:48,910 --> 00:34:51,839
Even though legally it belonged to us,
am I correct?
575
00:34:51,996 --> 00:34:54,795
-You are heel.
-Say her relatives do find this cheque.
576
00:34:54,957 --> 00:34:57,592
Don't you think they might wonder
where this came from?
577
00:34:57,752 --> 00:35:01,514
And don't you think they might
discover that it's a bounty cheque...
578
00:35:01,674 --> 00:35:03,062
...for Nora's late husband.
579
00:35:03,217 --> 00:35:06,598
Don't you think that might be an
unfortunate way to be remembered?
580
00:35:06,762 --> 00:35:09,064
Aunt Nora,
the one who married the axe murderer.
581
00:35:09,224 --> 00:35:11,062
Doesn't make for a great epitaph.
582
00:35:11,225 --> 00:35:12,780
I'll bet Nora would thank us...
583
00:35:12,935 --> 00:35:15,321
...for keeping this chapter of her life
a secret.
584
00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:16,739
I rest my case.
585
00:35:20,862 --> 00:35:23,994
I must be losing my mind,
you're starting to make sense.
586
00:35:29,204 --> 00:35:32,004
-I hate this. What if we get caught?
-We're not.
587
00:35:32,166 --> 00:35:34,053
What if we do?
588
00:35:36,046 --> 00:35:38,845
Great.
Now we're breaking and entering.
589
00:35:39,508 --> 00:35:42,141
-We're licensed detectives.
-We're nothing of the sort.
590
00:35:42,302 --> 00:35:44,058
We're thieves and We're thieving.
591
00:35:44,221 --> 00:35:46,855
We're taking something back
that used to belong to us.
592
00:35:47,016 --> 00:35:49,520
-Worse that makes us is Indian givers.
-I hate this.
593
00:35:49,685 --> 00:35:52,189
As soon as we find the cheque
we'll get out of here.
594
00:35:52,981 --> 00:35:56,494
All right, now,
if I were 15 grand where would I hide?
595
00:35:57,444 --> 00:36:00,079
Underwear drawer.
596
00:36:00,447 --> 00:36:01,788
I hate this.
597
00:36:03,867 --> 00:36:05,707
Check the stand. I'll get the dresser.
598
00:36:05,870 --> 00:36:09,584
-Maybe she already cashed it.
-No way, the banks were closed.
599
00:36:11,668 --> 00:36:14,255
Get a load of this home-entertainment
unit right here.
600
00:36:14,422 --> 00:36:15,844
Now this is you.
601
00:36:16,006 --> 00:36:19,020
I'll close my eyes if you
wanna take it for a little test ride.
602
00:36:19,176 --> 00:36:21,146
How can you paw
through people's things?
603
00:36:21,304 --> 00:36:23,060
Doesn't it make you feel dirty?
604
00:36:23,223 --> 00:36:26,735
Only if there is no emotional
commitment. Check the closet.
605
00:36:27,061 --> 00:36:29,481
There's a pretty nice
lingerie collection.
606
00:36:29,647 --> 00:36:32,696
Why don't women wear
all the good things on the outside?
607
00:36:32,858 --> 00:36:35,114
-I got it, Maddie.
-Not for long.
608
00:36:35,278 --> 00:36:36,950
Have you got a frog in your throat?
609
00:36:37,113 --> 00:36:39,498
-I really hate this.
-Hand it over.
610
00:36:39,658 --> 00:36:42,755
Unless you want your girlfriend
to become part of the wallpaper.
611
00:36:42,912 --> 00:36:45,675
-I'm not his girlfriend.
-Yeah, we're pals.
612
00:36:45,831 --> 00:36:48,382
-Give me the cheque.
-This cheque?
613
00:36:48,543 --> 00:36:50,927
I was checking
to see if it was the right cheque.
614
00:36:51,087 --> 00:36:53,887
Now, you two, take a seat on the bed.
615
00:36:54,049 --> 00:36:56,553
Great. My feet are killing me.
616
00:36:56,718 --> 00:36:59,353
Wait a minute,
don't I know you from someplace?
617
00:36:59,513 --> 00:37:01,815
-One of the six?
-He was at the pool hall.
618
00:37:01,974 --> 00:37:04,146
-He wasn't.
-The one who gave you the lighter.
619
00:37:04,310 --> 00:37:07,110
That was a different guy.
This guy's shorter and chubbier.
620
00:37:07,272 --> 00:37:09,858
-I'm sure it was him.
-Have I ever met you before?
621
00:37:10,025 --> 00:37:12,030
-Shut up.
-You killed Richard Cooper.
622
00:37:12,194 --> 00:37:14,496
No, we wouldn't be
having this conversation.
623
00:37:14,656 --> 00:37:17,373
It was your fingerprints,
you are Richard Cooper.
624
00:37:17,534 --> 00:37:19,954
-And Maximillian Petrovsky.
-Very good.
625
00:37:20,119 --> 00:37:22,208
-Now start praying.
-Wait a minute, hold it.
626
00:37:22,372 --> 00:37:25,470
You can't bump us off
and leave all these people in suspense.
627
00:37:25,626 --> 00:37:29,683
-Why not?
-We got seven plot points to cover.
628
00:37:29,838 --> 00:37:32,058
I'm all those people.
I'm also Nora's husband.
629
00:37:32,217 --> 00:37:33,973
-Or was her husband.
-You killed her.
630
00:37:34,136 --> 00:37:36,604
-It was part of the plan.
-And the guy in the car.
631
00:37:36,763 --> 00:37:38,567
You frame someone
with your identity.
632
00:37:38,724 --> 00:37:41,192
When he got torched,
the cops stop looking for you.
633
00:37:41,352 --> 00:37:43,191
-Lays out nice.
-Who was the stand in?
634
00:37:43,354 --> 00:37:44,446
-Charlie.
-Charlie.
635
00:37:44,604 --> 00:37:48,449
We were cellmates for 10 years.
He fell in love with the picture of Nora.
636
00:37:48,610 --> 00:37:51,540
After he got out, he looked her up,
passed himself off as me.
637
00:37:51,697 --> 00:37:53,250
-You knew.
-Sure. It was my idea.
638
00:37:53,407 --> 00:37:56,255
And, what the hell.
I was a lifer, I hardly knew her.
639
00:37:56,411 --> 00:37:58,166
How did you get Nora to go along?
640
00:37:58,329 --> 00:38:01,259
After I broke out, I found
where her and Charlie were living.
641
00:38:01,416 --> 00:38:03,884
Minute she laid eyes on me,
it was Mardi Gras again.
642
00:38:04,043 --> 00:38:07,509
-And she helped you frag the guy.
-So you could live happily ever after.
643
00:38:07,673 --> 00:38:08,884
Only she didn't.
644
00:38:09,050 --> 00:38:11,814
-Her problem, not mine.
-Then you picked up the bounty.
645
00:38:11,970 --> 00:38:13,144
Yeah, nice little bonus.
646
00:38:13,305 --> 00:38:16,317
Never would have occurred
if you hadn't given Nora that cheque.
647
00:38:16,975 --> 00:38:18,944
So shoot me. Just kidding.
648
00:38:19,101 --> 00:38:21,024
-Let me give you advice.
-What's that?
649
00:38:21,188 --> 00:38:23,443
Use a pillow. it'll muffle the sound.
650
00:38:23,608 --> 00:38:25,779
I don't need advice
on how to kill someone.
651
00:38:25,944 --> 00:38:28,577
You're a very tough guy
but it's a quiet neighbourhood.
652
00:38:28,738 --> 00:38:30,459
The neighbours have ears.
653
00:38:30,616 --> 00:38:32,418
Well, it is your murder.
654
00:38:32,575 --> 00:38:34,912
Charlie. What are you doing alive?
655
00:38:44,672 --> 00:38:46,559
-David.
-Come on. Stop the guy.
656
00:38:46,717 --> 00:38:48,556
He's getting away.
657
00:39:00,190 --> 00:39:01,235
Hey.
658
00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:02,692
Hey.
659
00:39:05,780 --> 00:39:07,452
We just happened to find one.
660
00:39:07,615 --> 00:39:10,996
Got a bell, too. Get out of the way,
you bonehead. Look out!
661
00:39:19,670 --> 00:39:21,261
-Pump.
-I'm pumping.
662
00:39:21,422 --> 00:39:23,509
-Pump harder.
-I'm pumping as hard as I can.
663
00:39:23,674 --> 00:39:26,059
I know that you can pump harder
when you want.
664
00:39:26,219 --> 00:39:30,276
Well, that's easy for you to say, all you
gotta do is go along for the ride.
665
00:39:45,115 --> 00:39:47,619
Hey, don't you think
we'd better slam on the breaks.
666
00:39:55,585 --> 00:39:58,515
Maybe there is a big kahuna after all.
667
00:39:58,671 --> 00:40:00,095
Stop that.
668
00:40:11,645 --> 00:40:13,532
Get up, David.
669
00:40:13,689 --> 00:40:15,694
-Get up.
-I thought I was up.
670
00:40:15,857 --> 00:40:18,788
We have to catch him
he's getting away.
671
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:21,407
Go ahead.
I'll meet you later for cocktails.
672
00:40:21,573 --> 00:40:22,961
Don't be such a baby, David.
673
00:40:23,116 --> 00:40:26,047
Oh, Maddie,
can't we just let one bad guy get away.
674
00:40:26,203 --> 00:40:27,543
-Get up.
-Besides...
675
00:40:27,704 --> 00:40:29,544
...I thought
I made a pretty good baby.
676
00:40:29,707 --> 00:40:30,881
David.
677
00:40:33,252 --> 00:40:34,806
Excuse me, ma'am.
678
00:40:34,963 --> 00:40:36,967
-Is this individual bothering you?
-No.
679
00:40:37,131 --> 00:40:39,636
That individual
stole my little brother's bike.
680
00:40:39,842 --> 00:40:41,136
Hop on.
681
00:40:41,303 --> 00:40:43,106
Wait a minute, what about me?
682
00:40:43,973 --> 00:40:46,523
-Pump.
-Pump?
683
00:40:49,186 --> 00:40:50,824
Pump.
684
00:41:22,057 --> 00:41:23,397
Nice bike.
685
00:41:24,267 --> 00:41:29,785
-Thanks, your old lady ain't bad either.
-What do you mean "old lady?"
686
00:41:50,714 --> 00:41:52,518
-Is this the guy?
-That's the one.
687
00:41:52,675 --> 00:41:55,771
That piece of mould,
the pathetic excuse for Homo sapiens.
688
00:41:55,928 --> 00:41:58,264
The liar, the fraud, the murderer.
689
00:41:58,555 --> 00:42:02,186
-I thought he stole your brother's bike.
-Oh, he did that too.
690
00:42:12,572 --> 00:42:14,791
Not so brave now are you, blondie?
691
00:42:15,783 --> 00:42:18,204
Just try it, Coop--
Or is it Maximillian?
692
00:42:34,596 --> 00:42:36,398
David.
693
00:42:42,480 --> 00:42:45,161
-Are you okay?
-Fine and dandy.
694
00:42:45,316 --> 00:42:47,654
You always did
make a good impression.
695
00:42:54,952 --> 00:42:58,500
Simple principle
of impact and angles.
696
00:42:58,749 --> 00:43:00,505
Thank you.
697
00:43:01,168 --> 00:43:04,514
The right impact at the right angle,
that's what the game's all about.
698
00:43:04,672 --> 00:43:07,056
Actually,
it's what most games are all about.
699
00:43:07,215 --> 00:43:08,806
Physics.
700
00:43:08,967 --> 00:43:10,521
Politics.
701
00:43:10,678 --> 00:43:11,770
Seduction.
702
00:43:11,929 --> 00:43:13,400
Impact and angles.
703
00:43:13,556 --> 00:43:15,644
Now,
don't be embarrassed if you mess up.
704
00:43:15,809 --> 00:43:17,649
You're inexperienced...
705
00:43:17,811 --> 00:43:20,908
...and, frankly, you're just not built
to excel at this game.
706
00:43:21,065 --> 00:43:23,864
-it's an aerodynamic thing.
-An aerodynamic thing?
707
00:43:24,026 --> 00:43:26,447
With practise,
you might get the hang of it.
708
00:43:26,613 --> 00:43:28,949
-You think so?
-Maybe.
709
00:43:29,115 --> 00:43:32,248
David, I really appreciate you
taking the time to teach me.
710
00:43:32,411 --> 00:43:33,454
It's my pleasure.
711
00:43:33,621 --> 00:43:35,625
I guess
that's why we're a great team.
712
00:43:35,789 --> 00:43:39,172
We know each other's strengths,
we know each other's weaknesses.
713
00:43:39,336 --> 00:43:41,554
We fill in each other's blanks.
714
00:43:42,505 --> 00:43:45,305
Yes. We do, don't we?
715
00:43:46,676 --> 00:43:52,028
Course that couldn't happen
unless you really know someone.
716
00:43:52,434 --> 00:43:54,984
Orchestra to balcony.
717
00:44:01,401 --> 00:44:03,870
-Like this?
-Looking good.
718
00:44:05,364 --> 00:44:08,580
David, you know that guy
in the fraternity house?
719
00:44:08,743 --> 00:44:12,967
-Slippery when wet.
-We never really were intimate.
720
00:44:22,550 --> 00:44:25,730
But he sure taught me
how to handle a stick.
59405
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