All language subtitles for 3rd Rock From the Sun - 05x08 - Charitable Dick.Unspecific.English.edit.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:20,698 --> 00:00:22,698 Aah! 2 00:00:29,331 --> 00:00:30,331 Ugh! 3 00:00:41,931 --> 00:00:46,130 Rise and shine, sleepyhead. 4 00:00:46,131 --> 00:00:47,730 Good morning, sweetness. 5 00:00:47,731 --> 00:00:49,663 How did you sleep? 6 00:00:49,664 --> 00:00:53,697 Oh, like a rock. 7 00:00:53,698 --> 00:00:55,498 Like a rock. Mmm. 8 00:01:36,964 --> 00:01:40,063 Dick, what's taking so long? 9 00:01:40,064 --> 00:01:41,463 I'll just be a minute. 10 00:01:41,464 --> 00:01:44,563 Hey, Albright. What's with the cape? 11 00:01:44,564 --> 00:01:46,863 Why, too much? 12 00:01:46,864 --> 00:01:50,563 Well, not if you're fighting crime. 13 00:01:50,564 --> 00:01:53,430 For your information, I think I look great. 14 00:01:53,431 --> 00:01:54,930 Dick, I'm gonna wait in the car, 15 00:01:54,931 --> 00:01:57,363 I want to go over the seating chart for the fund-raiser. 16 00:01:57,364 --> 00:02:01,397 Oh, Mary, I love that jacket. 17 00:02:01,398 --> 00:02:03,097 Yeah, the way it has no buttons 18 00:02:03,098 --> 00:02:04,930 and flows off your shoulders. 19 00:02:04,931 --> 00:02:06,863 It's not a jacket, it's a cape. 20 00:02:06,864 --> 00:02:08,431 Oh, of course. 21 00:02:11,064 --> 00:02:13,563 If it's a cape, I don't like it. 22 00:02:13,564 --> 00:02:15,697 So, uh, what is this thing 23 00:02:15,698 --> 00:02:16,763 you're going to, anyway? 24 00:02:16,764 --> 00:02:17,764 It's a Charity auction. 25 00:02:17,765 --> 00:02:19,163 And what's Charity, again? 26 00:02:19,164 --> 00:02:20,730 Well, all I know is they're giving out 27 00:02:20,731 --> 00:02:24,030 free drinks and paddles with numbers on them. 28 00:02:24,031 --> 00:02:26,697 Well, I guess that's what Charity's all about, 29 00:02:26,698 --> 00:02:29,531 getting liquored up and spanking your neighbor. 30 00:02:31,464 --> 00:02:32,930 Oh, and Mary tells me 31 00:02:32,931 --> 00:02:34,763 I'll get to make a difference in Someone's life. 32 00:02:34,764 --> 00:02:35,797 Wait, I thought we weren't allowed 33 00:02:35,798 --> 00:02:36,897 to make a difference. 34 00:02:36,898 --> 00:02:38,563 No, we can make little differences. 35 00:02:38,564 --> 00:02:40,663 We're not allowed to make global differences. 36 00:02:40,664 --> 00:02:43,697 Can we blow up the earth? 37 00:02:43,698 --> 00:02:46,063 You see, that's a global difference. 38 00:02:46,064 --> 00:02:47,897 It's so hard to keep track of all this. 39 00:02:47,898 --> 00:02:49,763 I know, don't we have it all written down Someplace? 40 00:02:49,764 --> 00:02:51,330 Yeah, it's all in the mission statement. 41 00:02:51,331 --> 00:02:52,697 Where is that thing, anyway? 42 00:02:52,698 --> 00:02:54,297 Well, if anybody's wondering, 43 00:02:54,298 --> 00:02:55,963 I didn't leave it on the bus. 44 00:02:55,964 --> 00:02:57,997 Well, we can't be on a mission 45 00:02:57,998 --> 00:02:59,297 without a mission statement. 46 00:02:59,298 --> 00:03:00,597 You guys are gonna have to write up a new one. 47 00:03:00,598 --> 00:03:02,230 What? Why us? 48 00:03:02,231 --> 00:03:03,363 Because subordinates Must do 49 00:03:03,364 --> 00:03:06,563 whatever the high commander says. 50 00:03:06,564 --> 00:03:10,130 Boy, that reminds me of a mission statement 51 00:03:10,131 --> 00:03:12,731 I once read on a bus. 52 00:03:20,564 --> 00:03:21,930 Aah! 53 00:03:21,931 --> 00:03:24,197 I'm ok. 54 00:03:24,198 --> 00:03:26,397 Nothing to see here. 55 00:03:26,398 --> 00:03:27,797 Sally: Don? 56 00:03:27,798 --> 00:03:30,297 Oh, hey, Jimmy. 57 00:03:30,298 --> 00:03:32,330 What's going on? 58 00:03:32,331 --> 00:03:34,930 You were supposed to meet me for lunch. 59 00:03:34,931 --> 00:03:37,697 Oh, Sally, I'm sorry, I forgot. 60 00:03:37,698 --> 00:03:39,597 I've got to be honest with you, 61 00:03:39,598 --> 00:03:41,297 I didn't get much sleep last night. 62 00:03:41,298 --> 00:03:43,830 Really? I got a ton, honey. 63 00:03:43,831 --> 00:03:46,097 I heard. 64 00:03:46,098 --> 00:03:50,263 Oh, poor baby. Ok, you know what? 65 00:03:50,264 --> 00:03:52,830 I'm gonna come over at 8:00, 66 00:03:52,831 --> 00:03:54,997 and you and I are gonna go 67 00:03:54,998 --> 00:03:58,797 straight to bed, mister. Ok? 68 00:03:58,798 --> 00:03:59,964 See you, Jimmy. 69 00:04:04,564 --> 00:04:07,030 $60, going once, going twice, 70 00:04:07,031 --> 00:04:09,030 sold to Judith Draper! 71 00:04:09,031 --> 00:04:11,097 Come on up here and pick up 72 00:04:11,098 --> 00:04:13,497 your 2-day pass to the iroquois falls sweat lodge. 73 00:04:13,498 --> 00:04:14,498 You deserve it. 74 00:04:14,499 --> 00:04:15,664 Judith Draper! 75 00:04:18,798 --> 00:04:21,297 Oh, before we auction off our next item, 76 00:04:21,298 --> 00:04:24,297 let's all give a huge round of applause 77 00:04:24,298 --> 00:04:26,597 to the man who is responsible for this Charity, 78 00:04:26,598 --> 00:04:28,597 father Matthew of the rutheford boys' home. 79 00:04:28,598 --> 00:04:30,564 Father Matthew! 80 00:04:33,531 --> 00:04:35,463 Nobody Ever claps like that for me. 81 00:04:35,464 --> 00:04:36,763 Maybe if you opened your wallet, 82 00:04:36,764 --> 00:04:39,097 you cheap bastard. 83 00:04:39,098 --> 00:04:42,463 Next, we have this oil painting 84 00:04:42,464 --> 00:04:44,297 of the historic ground breaking 85 00:04:44,298 --> 00:04:46,163 of the rutheford boys' home. 86 00:04:46,164 --> 00:04:47,763 Isn't this beautiful? 87 00:04:47,764 --> 00:04:49,130 We'll start the bidding at $500. 88 00:04:49,131 --> 00:04:50,397 Who will give me $500? 89 00:04:50,398 --> 00:04:51,830 I have 5, who will give me 6? 90 00:04:51,831 --> 00:04:53,097 Nobody give him 6! 91 00:04:53,098 --> 00:04:56,263 6 from father Matthew, who will give me 7? 92 00:04:56,264 --> 00:04:58,331 7! In your face, padre! 93 00:05:00,064 --> 00:05:03,297 7, 7's the bid. Now, do I hear 8? 8, anyone? 94 00:05:03,298 --> 00:05:04,298 800. 95 00:05:04,299 --> 00:05:07,063 Strudwick! 96 00:05:07,064 --> 00:05:08,530 You're not gonna let him 97 00:05:08,531 --> 00:05:10,263 walk away with This little beauty for 8, are you? 98 00:05:10,264 --> 00:05:11,997 I should say not. 900! 99 00:05:11,998 --> 00:05:13,030 Top that, strudwick. 100 00:05:13,031 --> 00:05:15,163 $1,000. 101 00:05:15,164 --> 00:05:18,063 Oh, that is more. 102 00:05:18,064 --> 00:05:19,797 You're out of your league, Solomon. 103 00:05:19,798 --> 00:05:21,530 Am I? 1,100. 104 00:05:21,531 --> 00:05:23,363 12. 1,201. 105 00:05:23,364 --> 00:05:24,397 13! 14! 106 00:05:24,398 --> 00:05:25,398 15! 16! 107 00:05:25,399 --> 00:05:27,731 17! 108 00:05:29,531 --> 00:05:33,463 $1,700. You're not gonna let him have it 109 00:05:33,464 --> 00:05:35,230 for $1,700, are you? 110 00:05:35,231 --> 00:05:36,298 Yes. 111 00:05:38,264 --> 00:05:40,230 17, then, going once, going twice, 112 00:05:40,231 --> 00:05:41,964 sold to Dick Solomon. 113 00:05:47,298 --> 00:05:48,763 Oh, thank you. 114 00:05:48,764 --> 00:05:51,363 All I can say is... 115 00:05:51,364 --> 00:05:54,031 uh, clap louder! 116 00:05:58,598 --> 00:06:01,263 Ok, mission statement. 117 00:06:01,264 --> 00:06:03,997 Mission statement. 118 00:06:03,998 --> 00:06:05,763 What is our mission? 119 00:06:05,764 --> 00:06:07,363 Well, you know, I always remember it 120 00:06:07,364 --> 00:06:08,730 by our mission song. 121 00:06:08,731 --> 00:06:10,263 Oh, right, right. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. 122 00:06:10,264 --> 00:06:15,298 ♪ Across the void we come a-warping ♪ 123 00:06:16,598 --> 00:06:20,997 ♪ Dum diddle DEE LEE OOH OOH OOH Ooh Ooh ♪ 124 00:06:20,998 --> 00:06:25,497 ♪ Glorious and something something ♪ 125 00:06:25,498 --> 00:06:27,997 ♪ Dum diddle Dee Lee Yadda Yadda ♪ 126 00:06:27,998 --> 00:06:31,397 Spaceship! Right. 127 00:06:31,398 --> 00:06:33,263 Ok, let's just start from scratch then. 128 00:06:33,264 --> 00:06:35,263 What is our mission? 129 00:06:35,264 --> 00:06:39,397 To boldly go where no man has gone before. 130 00:06:39,398 --> 00:06:40,563 That's clunky. 131 00:06:40,564 --> 00:06:42,430 Yeah, and that excludes Sally. 132 00:06:42,431 --> 00:06:45,330 Mmm, and us, too, technically, since we're not men. 133 00:06:45,331 --> 00:06:47,530 Yeah, yeah, and lots of men have been here. 134 00:06:47,531 --> 00:06:48,631 Yeah. 135 00:06:51,698 --> 00:06:52,897 Eh, let's put it in. 136 00:06:52,898 --> 00:06:54,430 Yeah, it'll give Dick something to cut. 137 00:06:54,431 --> 00:06:55,431 Right. 138 00:06:58,431 --> 00:07:01,063 Well, that's the news. 139 00:07:01,064 --> 00:07:02,763 Um-hmm. 140 00:07:02,764 --> 00:07:04,797 I'd really better get some sleep. 141 00:07:04,798 --> 00:07:06,730 Ok, I'll go brush my teeth. 142 00:07:06,731 --> 00:07:08,663 Well, actually, Sally, 143 00:07:08,664 --> 00:07:11,063 I think I should sleep alone tonight. 144 00:07:11,064 --> 00:07:12,497 Why? 145 00:07:12,498 --> 00:07:17,263 Because I might get called out to a 480 at the 212. 146 00:07:17,264 --> 00:07:20,330 A fire at the fire department? 147 00:07:20,331 --> 00:07:23,597 All right, Sally, I'll be straight with you. 148 00:07:23,598 --> 00:07:27,263 Uh, I can't sleep in the same bed with you. 149 00:07:27,264 --> 00:07:28,597 Is it 'cause I stink? 150 00:07:28,598 --> 00:07:30,830 No. 151 00:07:30,831 --> 00:07:32,063 Drool? 152 00:07:32,064 --> 00:07:33,064 No. 153 00:07:33,065 --> 00:07:34,430 Pee kind of orangey? 154 00:07:34,431 --> 00:07:36,063 No! 155 00:07:36,064 --> 00:07:37,830 Well, then, what is it? 156 00:07:37,831 --> 00:07:39,763 You snore, Sally. 157 00:07:39,764 --> 00:07:43,263 Snore? I do not snore. 158 00:07:43,264 --> 00:07:46,030 Girls do not snore. 159 00:07:46,031 --> 00:07:47,763 Well, you do. 160 00:07:47,764 --> 00:07:50,430 You mean, like... 161 00:07:50,431 --> 00:07:54,598 NO, it's more like... 162 00:07:56,131 --> 00:07:58,231 oh, that's bad. 163 00:08:07,198 --> 00:08:08,363 Judith. 164 00:08:08,364 --> 00:08:09,864 Dick. 165 00:08:12,231 --> 00:08:14,363 Did you say something about my painting? 166 00:08:14,364 --> 00:08:16,230 No. Oh. 167 00:08:16,231 --> 00:08:18,330 You're not going to hang 168 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:19,597 that up in here, are you? 169 00:08:19,598 --> 00:08:21,430 Uh, no, Nina. This is not a hanging painting. 170 00:08:21,431 --> 00:08:23,897 It's more of a walking around painting. 171 00:08:23,898 --> 00:08:27,798 Oh, that's nice. Why don't you take it for a walk? 172 00:08:29,464 --> 00:08:31,464 Good morning. 173 00:08:33,864 --> 00:08:35,863 Mary, I thought your kind 174 00:08:35,864 --> 00:08:38,363 didn't venture out in daylight. 175 00:08:38,364 --> 00:08:41,630 Well, if my cape is too hip for the room, 176 00:08:41,631 --> 00:08:43,397 maybe I'll just take it off. 177 00:08:43,398 --> 00:08:48,530 I love my painting. It's so nice. 178 00:08:48,531 --> 00:08:49,830 Here's your mail. 179 00:08:49,831 --> 00:08:54,663 Oh, something from the boys' home. 180 00:08:54,664 --> 00:08:58,130 Ah, at last, the respect that I deserve. 181 00:08:58,131 --> 00:09:01,663 "Dear sir or madam..." 182 00:09:01,664 --> 00:09:03,997 hey, they've invited me to become a patron. 183 00:09:03,998 --> 00:09:05,230 Not everybody gets that. 184 00:09:05,231 --> 00:09:06,231 I did. 185 00:09:06,232 --> 00:09:08,098 Me, too. I got 3. 186 00:09:09,964 --> 00:09:11,231 This painting sucks! 187 00:09:19,831 --> 00:09:21,230 Strudwick. 188 00:09:21,231 --> 00:09:22,397 Dick. 189 00:09:22,398 --> 00:09:24,230 Let me get right to it. 190 00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:26,063 Last night, I couldn't sleep 191 00:09:26,064 --> 00:09:27,897 knowing that I had taken from you 192 00:09:27,898 --> 00:09:29,897 a painting that is near and dear to your heart. 193 00:09:29,898 --> 00:09:31,863 That's why I'm willing to let you have it... 194 00:09:31,864 --> 00:09:34,197 I don't want it. 195 00:09:34,198 --> 00:09:37,163 You didn't let me finish. That's why I'm willing 196 00:09:37,164 --> 00:09:40,097 to let you have it for, say, $900. 197 00:09:40,098 --> 00:09:42,697 Forget it. I never wanted 198 00:09:42,698 --> 00:09:44,430 that piece of crap, anyway. 199 00:09:44,431 --> 00:09:47,197 Oh, really? Then why did you bid on it 200 00:09:47,198 --> 00:09:50,163 like a young lion in springtime? 201 00:09:50,164 --> 00:09:54,463 To drive up the price and piss you off. 202 00:09:54,464 --> 00:09:57,230 Well, it didn't work! 203 00:09:57,231 --> 00:09:59,063 Ok, let's start again. 204 00:09:59,064 --> 00:10:01,397 We'll begin the bidding at, say, $900. 205 00:10:01,398 --> 00:10:02,597 Get lost. That was a bid. 206 00:10:02,598 --> 00:10:03,598 That was not a bid. 207 00:10:03,599 --> 00:10:05,297 It was, too. You bid $900. 208 00:10:05,298 --> 00:10:06,797 Going once, going twice. Go away! 209 00:10:06,798 --> 00:10:08,398 Sold! You owe me $900. 210 00:10:09,564 --> 00:10:12,197 We'll call it 8. 211 00:10:12,198 --> 00:10:13,730 7, and I get to kiss your wife. 212 00:10:13,731 --> 00:10:14,963 Out, idiot! 213 00:10:14,964 --> 00:10:17,763 Fine, but at least I have something 214 00:10:17,764 --> 00:10:19,764 to show for my idiocy. 215 00:10:22,631 --> 00:10:25,398 Aha! So, you have my painting. 216 00:10:36,364 --> 00:10:38,331 She snores like a pig. 217 00:10:39,364 --> 00:10:41,163 Why is this our problem, again? 218 00:10:41,164 --> 00:10:42,763 Well, read the first paragraph 219 00:10:42,764 --> 00:10:43,930 of our mission statement. 220 00:10:43,931 --> 00:10:45,897 Mmm. "We must confront All human problems" 221 00:10:45,898 --> 00:10:47,563 to understand the human experience." 222 00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:48,997 Who wrote this crap? 223 00:10:48,998 --> 00:10:50,097 That was you. 224 00:10:50,098 --> 00:10:52,463 It's good. Um-hmm. 225 00:10:52,464 --> 00:10:54,397 Well, maybe if we constrict 226 00:10:54,398 --> 00:10:55,598 the airflow to her nostrils. 227 00:10:57,198 --> 00:10:59,298 Yeah. 228 00:11:02,031 --> 00:11:03,563 Uh, better do the mouth, too. 229 00:11:03,564 --> 00:11:05,498 Ok. Yeah. I'll just... 230 00:11:12,164 --> 00:11:14,063 all right! Yeah! 231 00:11:14,064 --> 00:11:16,163 Sometimes, the most obvious solution 232 00:11:16,164 --> 00:11:18,497 is the most brilliant. Yeah. 233 00:11:18,498 --> 00:11:20,497 No more snoring, and she gets 234 00:11:20,498 --> 00:11:21,830 all the oxygen she needs 235 00:11:21,831 --> 00:11:24,530 through her, uh... 236 00:11:24,531 --> 00:11:26,697 wait, where's the third intake again? 237 00:11:26,698 --> 00:11:28,498 The gills? 238 00:11:30,498 --> 00:11:31,498 Aah! Aah! 239 00:11:31,499 --> 00:11:32,531 Aah! 240 00:11:34,664 --> 00:11:35,830 What happened? 241 00:11:35,831 --> 00:11:36,997 Nothing. Nothing. 242 00:11:36,998 --> 00:11:38,163 Ok. 243 00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:41,263 So, um, how'd I do? 244 00:11:41,264 --> 00:11:43,964 Piss poor! 245 00:11:46,998 --> 00:11:50,897 Hi, rutheford clothing Drive? 246 00:11:50,898 --> 00:11:54,397 Yeah, I donated a delightful cape ensemble this morning, 247 00:11:54,398 --> 00:11:57,330 and I think you made a mistake on the receipt. 248 00:11:57,331 --> 00:12:00,497 Yeah, you estimated the value at $300. 249 00:12:00,498 --> 00:12:03,497 Well, I paid much more than that. 250 00:12:03,498 --> 00:12:04,997 I know they haven't been popular 251 00:12:04,998 --> 00:12:07,163 since the 1800's. Look... 252 00:12:07,164 --> 00:12:09,363 if I put a one in front of the 3, 253 00:12:09,364 --> 00:12:11,797 would that be against your rules? 254 00:12:11,798 --> 00:12:14,030 "Dear friend of the environment." 255 00:12:14,031 --> 00:12:15,930 great. All of a sudden, 256 00:12:15,931 --> 00:12:16,931 every Charity in the world 257 00:12:16,932 --> 00:12:18,263 is asking me for money. 258 00:12:18,264 --> 00:12:20,663 Well, once you get on one Charity's mailing list, 259 00:12:20,664 --> 00:12:21,664 you're on them all. 260 00:12:21,665 --> 00:12:23,097 Yeah, but, how are you supposed 261 00:12:23,098 --> 00:12:25,363 to judge who gets priority? 262 00:12:25,364 --> 00:12:28,097 Do I adopt a fruit bat, 263 00:12:28,098 --> 00:12:31,297 save the rainforest, or build shelters 264 00:12:31,298 --> 00:12:32,530 for America's homeless? 265 00:12:32,531 --> 00:12:34,663 You just help the ones you can, Dick. 266 00:12:34,664 --> 00:12:36,497 Yeah, but why me? 267 00:12:36,498 --> 00:12:39,730 Why can't they just help each other? 268 00:12:39,731 --> 00:12:41,297 And how would they do that? 269 00:12:41,298 --> 00:12:44,097 Simple. The rainforest guys cut down the jungle 270 00:12:44,098 --> 00:12:45,297 to build affordable housing, 271 00:12:45,298 --> 00:12:46,298 America's homeless moves in, 272 00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:47,697 and once they get settled, 273 00:12:47,698 --> 00:12:50,931 They'll be happy to open their homes to fruit bats. 274 00:12:52,664 --> 00:12:56,530 It's not rocket science. 275 00:12:56,531 --> 00:12:58,563 That's not how it works. 276 00:12:58,564 --> 00:12:59,830 Oh, I know how it works. 277 00:12:59,831 --> 00:13:03,097 I fork over $1,700, and all I get 278 00:13:03,098 --> 00:13:05,563 is a painting of 2 monks and a shovel. 279 00:13:05,564 --> 00:13:07,997 The guy couldn't even paint hands. 280 00:13:07,998 --> 00:13:10,663 They look like potatoes. 281 00:13:10,664 --> 00:13:12,831 I want my money back! 282 00:13:23,331 --> 00:13:24,363 Don. 283 00:13:24,364 --> 00:13:27,230 Harriet tubman. 284 00:13:27,231 --> 00:13:29,163 Don. 285 00:13:29,164 --> 00:13:31,963 Sally, what are you doing here? 286 00:13:31,964 --> 00:13:34,497 I finally found a cure for my snoring. 287 00:13:34,498 --> 00:13:36,663 Oh. 288 00:13:36,664 --> 00:13:37,763 Isn't that great? 289 00:13:37,764 --> 00:13:39,530 I won't be waking you up anymore. 290 00:13:39,531 --> 00:13:42,263 Yeah, that's super. Good night. 291 00:13:42,264 --> 00:13:44,064 Good night. 292 00:13:59,831 --> 00:14:01,597 Aren't you gonna go to sleep? 293 00:14:01,598 --> 00:14:05,063 Oh, no. I slept all day. 294 00:14:05,064 --> 00:14:06,930 Why is that? 295 00:14:06,931 --> 00:14:10,863 So my snoring wouldn't wake you up, silly. 296 00:14:10,864 --> 00:14:15,164 Now go back to sleep. Shh shh shh shh. Ok. All right. 297 00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:28,363 Cliff: Hey there, Woody, what's that hair doing in my beer? 298 00:14:28,364 --> 00:14:30,864 Woody: I think it's the backstroke, Mr. Clavin. 299 00:14:31,898 --> 00:14:33,830 Sally! 300 00:14:33,831 --> 00:14:36,198 Uh, I'll just, I'll put it on closed captioning. 301 00:14:39,398 --> 00:14:40,630 Norm! 302 00:14:40,631 --> 00:14:41,631 Sally! 303 00:15:04,998 --> 00:15:07,164 Stinky. 304 00:15:12,064 --> 00:15:14,064 Yummy. 305 00:15:21,831 --> 00:15:26,930 Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. 306 00:15:26,931 --> 00:15:30,698 Ok, ok. 307 00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:37,363 Ok, I'm just gonna take the Pillow away. 308 00:15:37,364 --> 00:15:39,398 Come on. 309 00:15:40,531 --> 00:15:41,764 Aah! 310 00:15:45,098 --> 00:15:47,230 Will you just go to sleep? 311 00:15:47,231 --> 00:15:50,363 Can't you just go to sleep? 312 00:15:50,364 --> 00:15:52,797 I'm sorry. Don't be mad. 313 00:15:52,798 --> 00:15:53,798 All right, all right. 314 00:15:53,799 --> 00:15:57,498 I'm sorry. Really sorry. Ok? 315 00:16:07,098 --> 00:16:10,430 All right, let's bring this mission statement home. 316 00:16:10,431 --> 00:16:14,297 How will we know when we've fulfilled the goal of our mission? 317 00:16:14,298 --> 00:16:16,997 Um, when we've become the perfect human beings? 318 00:16:16,998 --> 00:16:21,297 Yes. Yes, But human beings by nature are imperfect. 319 00:16:21,298 --> 00:16:24,163 Wait a second. I see what you're going for. 320 00:16:24,164 --> 00:16:26,630 Yes, and for this mission to be perfect, 321 00:16:26,631 --> 00:16:29,097 it actually has to be really flawed. 322 00:16:29,098 --> 00:16:31,963 Well, all right! It already is. 323 00:16:31,964 --> 00:16:33,963 I mean, look at you. 324 00:16:33,964 --> 00:16:36,331 You're the poster boy for imperfection. 325 00:16:39,231 --> 00:16:40,630 How's that? 326 00:16:40,631 --> 00:16:43,130 Well, your b.O. Smells like chicken soup, 327 00:16:43,131 --> 00:16:44,930 and you got b.O. A lot. 328 00:16:44,931 --> 00:16:47,997 Fair enough, But, uh, 329 00:16:47,998 --> 00:16:49,130 don't sell yourself short 330 00:16:49,131 --> 00:16:50,563 in the imperfection department, Harry. 331 00:16:50,564 --> 00:16:51,730 How do you mean? 332 00:16:51,731 --> 00:16:54,030 You're not smart. 333 00:16:54,031 --> 00:16:58,097 And you scare away the ladies. 334 00:16:58,098 --> 00:17:00,397 I feel like punching your face in. 335 00:17:00,398 --> 00:17:02,764 Me first, fatso. 336 00:17:10,831 --> 00:17:12,930 Father Matthew will be right with you. 337 00:17:12,931 --> 00:17:14,564 Thank you. 338 00:17:21,164 --> 00:17:25,163 Father Matthew, allow me to be perfectly Frank. 339 00:17:25,164 --> 00:17:27,630 I am not a wealthy man. 340 00:17:27,631 --> 00:17:30,130 I have to feed and clothe a family of 4 341 00:17:30,131 --> 00:17:32,997 on a professor's modest salary. 342 00:17:32,998 --> 00:17:36,097 I can't expect a priest to understand poverty, 343 00:17:36,098 --> 00:17:40,963 but let me tell you, I have to make 344 00:17:40,964 --> 00:17:42,563 a lot of sacrifices... 345 00:17:42,564 --> 00:17:45,263 No, no, please, let me finish. 346 00:17:45,264 --> 00:17:47,663 I simply have no room in my limited budget 347 00:17:47,664 --> 00:17:49,930 for extravagances like Charity. 348 00:17:49,931 --> 00:17:51,830 Therefore, I am returning this painting, 349 00:17:51,831 --> 00:17:54,363 and I want you to give me my money back. 350 00:17:54,364 --> 00:17:55,863 Unhand me, sir! 351 00:17:55,864 --> 00:17:57,497 Good morning. 352 00:17:57,498 --> 00:17:58,797 Oh, uh, father Matthew. 353 00:17:58,798 --> 00:18:01,597 Well, I'm sorry to keep you waiting. 354 00:18:01,598 --> 00:18:04,330 Ben, this is dr. Solomon, the nice man 355 00:18:04,331 --> 00:18:06,363 who gave us the money to have the bus fixed. 356 00:18:06,364 --> 00:18:07,630 Thank you, Dr. Solomon. 357 00:18:07,631 --> 00:18:11,130 Oh, Well, hey, you're very welcome. 358 00:18:11,131 --> 00:18:13,197 Thanks to your generous pledge, 359 00:18:13,198 --> 00:18:16,263 we can fix the bus, and our kids 360 00:18:16,264 --> 00:18:19,897 will see things they have never seen before. 361 00:18:19,898 --> 00:18:23,463 The tire and rubber works in akron, 362 00:18:23,464 --> 00:18:27,063 the miniature golf hall of fame, 363 00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:28,997 wapakoneta, the home... 364 00:18:28,998 --> 00:18:31,930 The birthplace of Neil Armstrong, 365 00:18:31,931 --> 00:18:34,497 and of course, the air and Space museum, 366 00:18:34,498 --> 00:18:36,530 and the aquarium. 367 00:18:36,531 --> 00:18:39,163 Oh, yes, aquariums are nice, if you like fish, but... 368 00:18:39,164 --> 00:18:40,530 And there's also a chance we can 369 00:18:40,531 --> 00:18:44,863 take a day trip to see the Toledo mud hens. 370 00:18:44,864 --> 00:18:48,297 Now, that's all very Well, father Matthew... 371 00:18:48,298 --> 00:18:50,997 Allow me to be perfectly Frank. 372 00:18:50,998 --> 00:18:53,797 I know you are not a wealthy man. 373 00:18:53,798 --> 00:18:54,798 No, I... I was going to say that... 374 00:18:54,799 --> 00:18:56,497 And I know it wasn't easy 375 00:18:56,498 --> 00:18:57,997 raising a family of 4 376 00:18:57,998 --> 00:19:00,130 on a professor's modest salary... 377 00:19:00,131 --> 00:19:01,497 Yeah, that's exactly what I... 378 00:19:01,498 --> 00:19:05,698 Which is why your generosity means so much to us. 379 00:19:06,831 --> 00:19:08,563 Oh, well... 380 00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:09,564 but... 381 00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:11,830 No, no, please. Let me finish. 382 00:19:11,831 --> 00:19:14,730 Given your circumstances, 383 00:19:14,731 --> 00:19:17,997 your gift means so much to us. 384 00:19:17,998 --> 00:19:20,863 Sure, Martin abend gave us $50,000, 385 00:19:20,864 --> 00:19:23,597 but he owns the ball bearing plant. 386 00:19:23,598 --> 00:19:27,797 Relative to him, your gift was far more generous. 387 00:19:27,798 --> 00:19:30,330 You mean, I'm better than the rich guy? 388 00:19:30,331 --> 00:19:32,530 Well, I wouldn't want to say that... 389 00:19:32,531 --> 00:19:33,697 No, no, no, go on, say it. 390 00:19:33,698 --> 00:19:35,363 I'm not gonna tell him. 391 00:19:35,364 --> 00:19:38,197 You are a great man. 392 00:19:38,198 --> 00:19:41,997 Thank you, father Matthew. You're so right. 393 00:19:41,998 --> 00:19:45,263 So, why did you bring in the painting? 394 00:19:45,264 --> 00:19:49,963 Oh, that. Because I want you to, uh... 395 00:19:49,964 --> 00:19:52,730 uh, I want you to... 396 00:19:52,731 --> 00:19:53,930 I want you to have it. 397 00:19:53,931 --> 00:19:55,263 Thank you. 398 00:19:55,264 --> 00:19:58,563 No, no, please. The pleasure's mine. 399 00:19:58,564 --> 00:20:00,898 Now, if you'll excuse me. 400 00:20:08,498 --> 00:20:10,297 Could you either get this kid off my leg, 401 00:20:10,298 --> 00:20:12,030 or else put another one on, 402 00:20:12,031 --> 00:20:15,298 because it's really throwing off my balance. 403 00:20:19,598 --> 00:20:22,197 "There are some things in Life money can't buy. 404 00:20:22,198 --> 00:20:25,798 For everything else, there's this mission statement." 405 00:20:27,064 --> 00:20:29,830 That's your conclusion to the mission statement? 406 00:20:29,831 --> 00:20:31,830 Yep. It was between that or 407 00:20:31,831 --> 00:20:35,431 double "A", ahnk ahnk, mc mission statement. 408 00:20:36,531 --> 00:20:38,030 Did you guys just get bored 409 00:20:38,031 --> 00:20:39,063 and start watching television? 410 00:20:39,064 --> 00:20:41,431 No. Yeah. 411 00:20:42,698 --> 00:20:46,563 You know, it's weird. Until I started snoring, 412 00:20:46,564 --> 00:20:48,463 I never really appreciated. 413 00:20:48,464 --> 00:20:50,197 How much don loves me. 414 00:20:50,198 --> 00:20:51,597 Yeah, and until I started giving, 415 00:20:51,598 --> 00:20:53,763 I never really appreciated How much I have. 416 00:20:53,764 --> 00:20:55,730 Man, we're so lucky. 417 00:20:55,731 --> 00:21:00,163 ♪ Across the void we come a-warping ♪ 418 00:21:00,164 --> 00:21:04,997 ♪ Across the fields of stars we soar ♪ 419 00:21:04,998 --> 00:21:09,763 ♪ We pledge to land and something, something ♪ 420 00:21:09,764 --> 00:21:13,830 ♪ Dum Dee dum Dee Da Da Da da... spaceship ♪ 421 00:21:13,831 --> 00:21:15,030 One more time! 422 00:21:15,031 --> 00:21:19,330 ♪ Across the void we come a-warping ♪ 423 00:21:19,331 --> 00:21:22,931 Captioning made possible by Carsey-Werner company I.L.C. And the U.S department of education 424 00:21:27,664 --> 00:21:31,304 public performance of captions prohibited without permission of National captioning institute 28901

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