Original subtitles

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Maria: ♪ COME, COME, I LOVE YOU ONLY MY HEART IS TRUE

Maria Lanyi: COME, COME MY LIFE IS LONELY

Maria Lanyi: I LONG FOR YOU

Maria Lanyi: COME, COME NAUGHT CAN EFFACE YOU

Maria Lanyi: MY ARMS ARE ACHINGNOW TO EMBRACE YOU

Maria Lanyi: THOU ART DIVINE

Maria Lanyi: COME, COME I LOVE YOU ONLY

Maria Lanyi: COME, HERO MINE

Karl Lang: TRUE IS MY LOVE AND DEEP MY DEVOTION

KARL LANG: HIGH AS THE SKY AND DEEP AS THE OCEAN

Karl Lang: I WILL BE FAITHFUL EVER AND EVER

Karl Lang: NO ONE SHALL PART USEVER AND EVER

Maria and Karl: WE PLEDGE OUR TROTH EACH TO THE OTHER

Maria and Karl: AND FOR OUR HAPPINESS I PRAY

Maria and Karl: OUR LIVES BELONGTO ONE ANOTHER

Maria and Karl: OH HAPPY, HAPPYWEDDING DAY

Maria and Karl: OH HAPPY, HAPPY WEDDING DAY

Maria and Karl: COME, COME, I LOVE YOU ONLY

Maria and Karl: MY HEART IS TRUE

Maria and Karl: COME, COME, MY LIFE IS LONELY

Maria and Karl: I LONG FOR YOU

Maria and Karl: COME, COME, NAUGHT CAN EFFACE YOU

MY ARMS ARE ACHING NOW TO EMBRACE YOU

Maria and Karl: THOU ART DIVINE

Maria and Karl: COME, COME I LOVE YOU ONLY

Maria and Karl: COME, COME BE MINE ♪

[♪ MUSIC]

Maria Lanyi: A LITTLE WEAK ON THAT 'G' AREN'T YOU DEAR?

Karl Lang: WEAK? I HAD ALL I COULD TO STAY WITH YOU

ON THAT COURSE. MAY I SUGGEST THAT

THE CONDUCTOR OF THE ORCHESTRA IS THERE FOR A REASON.

SUPPOSE SOMETIMES YOU TRY FOLLOWING HIS BEAT.

Maria: THANKS. I WOULD IF YOU STEP ASIDE

LONG ENOUGH FOR ME TO SEE HIM.

Karl: STEP ASIDE? OH-HO!

I HAVE TO BE PRETTY LIGHT ON MY FEET

TO KEEP FROM BEING STEPPED ON. - STRANGE HOW THINGS CHANGE.

I REMEMBER SIX MONTHS AGO WHEN YOU DIDN'T SEEM TO MIND

THAT I GOT TO SHARE THE SPOTLIGHT OCCASIONALLY.

OF COURSE, I DIDN'T MIND YOU HAVING A SHARE.

BUT THAT WAS BEFORE OUR MARRIAGE, DEAR.

Maria, Karl and Chorus: ♪ THANKTHE LORD THE WAR IS OVER

Maria, Karl and Chorus: [INDISTINCT SINGING]

[applause]

♪ [marching music]

SMILE AT THEM, DEAR.

- SMILE AT THE OFFICERS. - YOU DID?

DON'T FORGET THE BIG OX WITH THE BLONDE BEARD.

- YOU MISSED HIM. - WHY DID WE?

YOU KNOW WHO I AM.

ONE MORE PEEK OUT OF YOU

AND I'LL DRAG THAT CHINLESS WONDER OUT OF HIS BOX.

CHARMING, CHARMING. THIS IS ANICE PLACE TO START AN ARGUMENT.

I'LL START ANYTHING I PLEASE, ANYWHERE I PLEASE.

NOT WITH ME, YOU WON'T.

YOU'RE ON MY DRESS. MY DRESS!

WHY DON'T YOU GET OUT OF THE WAY?!

THAT'S ENOUGH. THAT'S ENOUGH!

Karl: IT WOULDN'T HURT YOU TO FLASH A FEW OF THOSE SMILES

TO THE SEATS UP NEAR HEAVEN.

Karl: JUST BECAUSE YOU SING TO THE GALLERIES.

YOU BETCHA LIFE I DO!

REMEMBER ONE THING,

WHEN THE GALLERIES DON'T LIKE YOU ANYMORE

YOU'RE FINISHED IN MUSICAL COMEDY.

I WISH I WERE.

YES, I WISH I WERE.

OH, I SUPPOSE YOU'D RATHER BE WARBLING OPERA

WITH A BUNCH OF FAT TENORS.

MMMMAAAAA...

Pugsie: MARIA'S VOICE IS CERTAINLY WASTED HERE.

SHE GAVE UP A VERY PROMISING OPERATIC CAREER TO MARRY YOU.

SHUT UP, YOU OLD BLIMP.

IN BUDAPEST THEY UNDERSTOOD ABOUT MUSIC.

SO, ALL THOSE HALF-WITTED OFFICERS

YOU USED TO SCAMPER AROUND WITH,

THEY UNDERSTOOD ABOUT MUSIC, DIDN'T THEY?

Pugsie: YOU'D BE SURPRISED HOW MUCH THEY UNDERSTOOD.

YES, I THINK YOU MIGHT EVEN BE VERY SURPRISED.

DON'T WAVE THAT GRUESOME OBJECT AT ME.

PUGSIE, DON'T PULL THAT WAY.

- I'M NOT PULLING. - PUGSIE, PUGSIE!

HAVE I NOT... HAVEN'T I WORKED HER FOR YEARS?

HAVEN'T I TAKEN BETTER CARE OF HER THAN HER OWN MOTHER?

- OH FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE! - HAVEN'T I--

THEN WHY DOES SHE GO ON LIKE THIS? JUST TO MAKE ME NERVOUS?

HAVEN'T I SLAVED THESE HANDS TO THE BONE?

MAKE YOU NERVOUS? WHY DON'T YOU HIT ME?

GO AND HIT ME!

I NEVER HIT WOMEN BIGGER THAN MYSELF.

Bernard Fischer: WILL YOU BE QUIET BOTH--

NOW, NOW, NOW CHILDREN... AT IT AGAIN?

IT'S NO USE, BERNARD.

MARIA CAN BE SWEET ENOUGH WHEN SHE PLEASES.

SWEET TO THE SOLDIERS IN THE THEATRE,

SWEET TO ANYBODY AND EVERYBODY.

BUT HER HUSBAND...

I SHOW YOU ALL THE SWEETNESS YOU DESERVE.

THAT'S IT, THROW IT AWAY. THROW IT IN THE WASTE BASKET.

MY PRESENT TO YOU ON THE 26TH BIRTHDAY.

- 25TH. - 26TH.

25TH.

OH FOR THE LOVE OF HEAVEN, WHAT DOES IT MATTER?

OH BUT IT DOES MATTER.

WHAT IF IT IS THE 26TH, WHO CARES?

WHO CARES?!

[slams door]

- 25TH, DEAR. - THANK YOU, DARLING.

AND THANK YOU FOR THE NICE NOTICE.

[indistinct whisper]

BERNARD, I AM ONE OF YOUR OLDEST

I AM ONE OF YOUR GREATEST FRIENDS.

BUT EVEN SO, EVEN SO DECENCIES MUST BE OBSERVED.

WHEN ONE'S BEST FRIEND IS IN DISTRESS

THAT IS HARDLY THE TIME TOWALLOW AND PROPEL TO JOURNALISM.

I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT YOU ARE IN DISTRESS, KARL.

- LISTEN... YOU MAY GO, ANTON. - YES, SIR.

WHAT TIME IS IT OLD MAN?

ELEVEN THIRTY-SIX.

ELEVEN THIRTY-SIX, MAY THE 8TH.

THE UNHAPPIEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE.

WHOSE?

BERNARD, YOU AND YOUR LIVING BY

PRONOUNCING YOUR JUDGEMENT ON MUSIC AND MUSICIANS,

LET ME ASK YOU ONE PLAIN AND SIMPLE QUESTION.

HAS MARIA A VOICE OF OPERATIC CALIBER OR NOT?

MY DEAR KARL, THE ONLY WAY IF A CRITIC CAN REMAIN FRIENDS

WITH THE PEOPLE ABOUT WHOM HE WRITES,

IS TO MENTION THEIR OPINION IN HIS NEWSPAPER.

MARIA HAS A VERY FINE VOICE.

YOU HAVE A VERY FINE VOICE.

AND I AM A VERY FINE CRITIC.

BUT WE WILL GO INTO THAT LATER.

HERE'S THE POINT, BERNARD.

SHE WANTS TO LEAVE MUSICAL COMEDY AND RETURN TO OPERA.

AND YOU KNOW WHY?

PERHAPS TO SING.

OH NO, OUR LITTLE MARIA IS NOT VERY CONCERNED

WITH SINGING AT THE MOMENT.

BERNARD, MARIA WANTS TO LEAVE ME.

SHE IS TIRED OF ME.

BORED WITH-- OH NO, IT'S INCREDIBLE.

- I HAVE PROOF OF IT. - UNSHAKEABLE PROOF.

WHAT?

THE OTHER NIGHT, BERNARD, I HAPPENED TO COME HOME EARLY.

YES?

I WENT QUIETLY UP TO HER BEDROOM...

YES, YES, GO ON.

THERE SHE WAS IN DARKNESS EXCEPT FOR THE MOONLIGHT--

WITH ANOTHER MAN?

- ALONE. - OH-OH.

ALONE IN THE DARKNESS.

- PLAYING RECORDS. - RIGHT.

I COULD'VE BEEN MORE EXACT, PLAYING A RECORD.

THE EVENING STAR FROM TAUNHAUSER.

TAUNHAUSER?

YOU MEAN SHE IS IN LOVE WITH ONEOF THOSE OPERA SINGER FELLOWS?

OH NO, NO,NO, YOU STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND.

IT'S NOT ANYONE OR ANYBODY.

IT'S JUST THAT SHE IS IN LOVE WITH ROMANCE!

OH NO, NO, NO, BOY.

JUST BECAUSE YOU COME HOME AND FIND YOUR WIFE

SITTING IN THE DARK, PLAYING TAUNHAUSER,

YOU JUMP TO THE CONCLUSION THAT SHE NO LONGER LOVES YOU.

BERNARD, I MARRIED A VERY ATTRACTIVE WOMAN.

I RECALL AND I AM WELL AWARE OF THAT.

VERY MUCH ADMIRED, MANY MEN LOVED HER.

SHE HAS TOLD US ABOUT IT OFTEN ENOUGH, YOU'VE HEARD IT.

THERE WAS COUNT SHAMOLET LIEUTENANT MIKOS,

THE FELLOW AT THE OX TRACK-- HMM, DON'T BOTHER.

I MADE THE INVENTORY LONG AGO.

THERE WERE NINE.

- COUNTING ME? - NO, WITHOUT YOU.

PARDON ME, WITHOUT ME THERE WERE EIGHT.

NINE.

I CANNOT ALLOW ANYONE TO CAST DISPERSIONS UPON MY WIFE.

THERE WERE EIGHT.

VERY WELL, THERE WERE EIGHT THEN.

BUT EVEN AT EIGHT WE CAN'T BE SURE OF.

THE ONLY THING THAT WE CAN BE SURE OF IS THAT UNFORTUNATELY,

I WAS BUT ONE OF THEM.

I AM SORRY.

SORRY, OLD MAN.

- DON'T NEED TO GO OVER IT NOW.- VERY WELL.

IT'S ALL PAST AND FORGOTTEN.

THANKS, OLD BOY.

ANYHOW THIS IS WHAT I AM GETTING AT.

WE WERE MARRIED IN DECEMBER, BUT OUR MARRIAGE WAS IN VAIN.

I AM IN FOR THE SAME FATE AS ALL THE OTHERS.

HE'S COMING, BERNARD.

I CAN HEAR HIS FOOTSTEPS.

COMING CLOSER AND CLOSER AND CLOSER...

WHOSE FOOTSTEPS?

THE TENTH! THE NINTH, I MEAN.

ANYWAY, THE NEW MAN.

HE'S APPROACHING AS SURELY AS THE SPRING.

- RUBBISH! - IT'S NOT RUBBISH.

I HAVE LOST HER.

I KNOW IT.

YOU SHOULD SEE HER EYES WHEN SHE IS IN THE THEATRE.

YOU SHOULD SEE THEM GLISTEN WHEN SHE SEES A UNIFORM.

- BAH! - I TELL YOU BERNARD,

HE'S COMING INTO OUR LIFE TO TAKE HER FROM ME.

AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS, I WILL KILL HIM.

HUH?

- I WILL KILL HIM! - VERY WELL.

[knock on door]

NOW WHO IS THAT?

THERE HE IS! WILL YOU SIGN MY PROGRAM FOR ME?

I ADMIRE YOUR PERFORMANCE SO MUCH!

WILL YOU SIGN THESE PICTURES FOR ME?

WAIT UNTIL THE GIRLS IN SCHOOL SEE THIS.

KINDA TOUCHING DON'T YOU THINK?

OH THANK YOU.

THANK YOU, MR. LANG.

WOULD YOU SIGN ONE FOR MY SISTER?

MR. LANG, YOU ARE SO NICE.

BUSY DARLING?

COME IN, BERNARD.

IT'S RATHER LATE.

DON'T YOU THINK YOU OUGHT TO SEE HER ALONE.

NO, NO, COME IN,

I WANT YOU TO SEE WHAT I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH.

[applause]

NOT A BAD START,

SHE WELCOMED YOU HOME WITH A ROUND OF APPLAUSE.

THAT'S WHAT GOES ON NIGHT AFTER NIGHT.

SHE'S TURNING OUR HOME INTO AN OPERA HOUSE.

- ALRIGHT, GOOD NIGHT. - THAT'S RIGHT, BERNARD.

DESERT YOUR OLD, YOUR BEST FRIEND IN HIS HOUR OF NEED.

WELL, OF COURSE, OLD BOY, IF YOU PUT IT LIKE THIS.

Maria Lanyi: [SINGING IN FRENCH"MON COEUR S'OUVRE TA VOIX"]

♪ [music]

- [applause] - [indistinct chatter]

YOU SEE?

IF IT ISN'T TAUNHAUSER IN THE BEDROOM,

IT'S SAMSON IN THE DRAWING ROOM.

OH BERNARD, THIS IS THE END.

NOW YOU'RE BEING RIDICULOUS.

EVERYTHING IS RIDICULOUS THAT A CAST-OFF LOVER CAN DO.

EXCEPT SHOOT HIMSELF.

I'LL TRY THE RIDICULOUS FIRST.

HAS IT REALLY GONE THAT FAR?

YES, THAT FAR.

THAT FAR!

YOU DON'T MIND IF I LAUGH AT ALL THIS, DEAR?

NO, NO, I DON'T MIND.

I LAUGHED MYSELF AT FIRST.

LISTEN TO ME, KARL.

YOU LOVE MARIA, DON'T YOU?

LOVE HER?

I LOVE HER MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF.

WELL, GO TO HER TONIGHT AND TELL HER SO.

YOU CAN'T TELL A WOMAN TOO OFTEN.

BE YOUNG, ROMANTIC, PASSIONATE,

BE... BE TANNHAUSER, IF YOU LIKE.

THAT IS AN IDEA.

OF COURSE IT IS, BUT... BEFORE YOU GO

HAVE A LITTLE SHAVE OLD BOY.

♪ [music]

[pats pet dog]

Maria Lanyi: ♪ [SINGING]

[switches table-lamp on]

[stops record player]

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?

WHAT ARE YOU CRYING ABOUT?

I AM NOT CRYING.

THEN WHY DO YOU PRETEND TO CRY?

IT'S A FEELING THAT COMES OVER ME SOMETIMES.

I KNOW WHY YOU ARE CRYING.

I AM AFRAID, I KNOW.

OH, IF YOU KNOW, THEN WHY DO YOU ASK?

- WILL YOU DO ME A GREAT FAVOR?- WHAT IS IT?

NEVER PLAY OR SING THAT SONG AGAIN!

- WHY NOT?- BECAUSE IT ISN'T MEANT FOR ME!

ALRIGHT,WELL I MAY NOT EVEN DO THAT NOW.

[switches table-lamp off]

AND IT'S HIGH TIME YOU WERE IN BED ANYWAY.

[Karl stumbles]

Maria Lanyi: ♪ [SINGING]

♪ [music]

Karl Lang: ♪ IT IS A BURDEN HARD TO CARRY

Karl Lang: THE BURDEN OF A MAIDEN'S HATE

Karl Lang: THE ONLY GIRL I CARETO MARRY

Karl Lang: SHE TURNS ME OUT AT NIGHT SO LATE

Karl Lang: YOU BID ME GO WHERE SHOTS ARE FLYING

Karl Lang: AND SO I SAY FAREWELL TO LOVE

Karl Lang: FAREWELL, FOR YOU I'LL SOON BE DYING

Karl Lang: WHEN NEXT WE MEET WE'LL BE ABOVE

Maria Lanyi: I SEE YOU SHAKING WITH FEAR QUAKING

Maria Lanyi: WHY ALL THE FUSS THAT YOU ARE MAKING

Maria Lanyi: NOBLE SOUL, JUST TELL ME TRUE

Maria Lanyi: OH DO, PLEASE DO

Karl Lang: TO BE A SOLDIER MAY BE WELL

Karl Lang: BUT I OBJECT TO SHOT AND SHELL

Karl Lang: I LOVE BEYOND ALL MEASURE

Karl Lang: AND DYING IS NO PLEASURE

Karl Lang: I LOVE TO LIVE AND LIVE TO LOVE

Karl Lang: SO DO NOT CARE TO GO ABOVE

Karl Lang: BUT DANGER HOLDS NO FEARS FOR ME

Karl Lang: IF I CAN HAVE YOUR SYMPATHY

Maria and Karl: I'M UNAFRAID WHEN DANGER'S NEAR

Maria and Karl: IF I BUT KNOW THAT YOU ARE HERE

Maria and Karl: I LOVE BEYOND ALL MEASURE

Maria and Karl: AND LIVING IS A PLEASURE

Maria and Karl: I LOVE TO LIVE AND LIVE TO LOVE

Maria and Karl: SO DO NOT DARE TO GO ABOVE

Maria and Karl: AND YET WHATEVER FATE

Maria and Karl: MAY BE

Maria and Karl: YOU'LL KNOW YOU'LL HAVE MY SYMPATHY

[♪ MUSIC]

Maria and Karl: AND YET WHATEVERFATE MAY BE

Maria and Karl: YOU'LL KNOW YOU HAVE MY SYMPATHY

[♪ OMINOUS MUSIC]

Man: ♪ SEARCHING, SEARCHING SEARCHING FOR THE SPY

Man: HE'S A VERY, VERY TRICKY GUY

Chorus: BUT WE MUST KEEP ON WORKING

Chorus: TO FIND HIM WHERE HE'S LURKING

Chorus: [indistinct] ARE NEVER SHIRKING

Chorus: UNTIL WE FIND THE SPY

Man and Chorus: THE SPY, THE SPYTHE DIRTY, LITTLE SPY

Mand and Chorus: HE'S A FELLOW MOST ELUSIVE

Man and Chorus: OR PERHAPS HE'S JUST EXCLUSIVE

Man and Chorus: GONNA NEED A GOOD EXCUSIVE

Man and Chorus: IF WE RETURN WITHOUT THE SPY

Man and Chorus: THE SPY...THE SPY

Mand and Chorus: WE'VE GOT TO FIND THE SPY

Chorus: ONE-TWO-THREE- FOUR

Chorus: HE'S THE BEAR BEHIND THE DOOR

Chorus: FIVE-SIX-SEVEN- EIGHT

Chorus: ONE GREAT SOLDIER GUARD THE GATE

Chorus: APPLE SEEDS AND PUMPKIN PIE

Chorus: IF WE CATCH HIM

Chorus: HE WILL DIE

Chorus: HE'S A DIRTY, LITTLE SPY

Chorus: APPLE SEEDS AND PUMPKIN PIE

Chorus: OHHHHHH

Chorus: OLE

Man and Chorus: EVERY DAY OUR SHIELD INCREASES

Man and Chorus: BUT WE DO OUR WORK BY PIECES

Man and Chorus: OR OUR SOURCE OF INCOME CEASES

Man and Chorus: IF WE EVER FIND THE SPY

Man and Chorus: THOUGH HE'S TRYING TO CONFUSE US

Man and Chorus: WE'RE DETERMINEHE WON'T LOSE US

Man and Chorus: NOW WILL YOU PLEASE EXCUSE US

Man and Chorus: WHILE WE GO AND SEEK THE SPY!

Chorus: THE SPY...THE SPY... THE SPY...THE SPY...

Chorus: THE DIRTY, LITTLE SPY

[applause]

WELL, MY LITTLE ONE, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF IT?

IT'S A KIND OF A PLACE WHERE THEY DRAG A LIVE OX

TO YOUR TABLE AND ASK YOU WHICH END YOU PREFER.

WE'RE LIKE TOURIST, ARE WE?

THE DECORATIONS REMIND ME

OF A PRODUCTION OF SCHEHERAZADEI ONCE SAW AT OMST.

OH, I NEVER REALIZED YOU PLAYED OMST, DEAR.

YOU HAVE BEEN PLACES, HAVEN'T YOU?

AH, KLEMENTOR!

I DON'T THINK YOU'VE HADTHE PLEASURE OF MEETING MY WIFE.

Klementor: ENCHANTED, MADAM.

WHAT A CHARMING PLACE YOU HAVE HERE.

I WAS JUST TELLING MY HUSBAND--

MAY HEAVEN FORGIVE YOU.

- MADAM, IS SATISFIED? - MOST DELIGHTFULLY.

THANK YOU, MADAM.

- MR. LANG? - YES?

[gives a tip]

THANK YOU, SIR.

- MAY I? - PLEASE, DARLING.

OH REALLY, THIS IS TOO MUCH. WHAT NEXT?!

- IT'S FONZ AGAIN. - WHO IS HE?

FONZHOCHEN-SPITZER, OLD COLLEGE FRIEND,

ALWAYS IN TROUBLE. YOU KNOW HIM BERNARD?

[nods head]

OH, YES, YES, OF COURSE. DEAR OL' HOCHEN-SPITZER,

NEVER OUT OF MISCHIEF... OH...

WHAT'S THE YOUNG STALLION UP TO NOW?

OH, HE HIT A POLICEMAN OR SOMETHING.

WANTS ME TO COME AND BAIL HIM OUT.

REALLY, KARL! YOUR FRIENDS.

- LET ME GO, KARL. - MOST CERTAINLY NOT, I'LL GO.

- OH BUT I INSIST. - NO, NO,

I THINK IT WOULD BE BETTER IF I WENT.

THEY KNOW ME DOWN THERE,

WELL, I JUST THINK IT WOULD BE BETTER.

YOU'LL BE ALRIGHT, DARLING, WON'T YOU?

OH CERTAINLY, DEAR.

SORRY TO HAVE TO LEAVE YOU LIKE THIS...

I WON'T BE LONG.

OF COURSE,I'M ONLY TOO GLAD TO SERVE YOU.

BUT WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT, KARL?

KLEMENTOR, WHEN A WIFE IS UNFAITHFUL TO A HUSBAND,

WHO IS THE LAST PERSON IN THE WORLD

TO LEARN OF HER INFIDELITY?

- THE HUSBAND, OF COURSE. - PRECISELY!

BUT SURELY THAT CAN BE NO CONCERN OF YOURS, KARL.

NATURALLY NOT,

I'M DOING THIS FOR A FRIEND. - A FRIEND?

YES, MY VERY BEST FRIEND, IN FACT.

♪ [instrumental music]

BERNARD, HAVE YOU DONE ANY BAILING?

OH, A LITTLE, HERE AND THERE.

ANY BAILING THAT KARL IS DOING IS IN THE COMPANY

OF THAT SOUBRETTE?

THAT'S RIDICULOUS, MARIA.

BESIDES MAGDA ISN'T KARL'S TYPE AT ALL.

OH-HO-HO!

SO, KARL HAS TYPES, HAS HE?

HE USED TO,I MEAN, ANYHOW I HAPPEN TO KNOW

THAT AT THE MOMENT MAGDA HAS... OTHER COMMITMENTS.

OH, HOW DELIGHTFUL.

[applause]

HOW DELIGHTFUL FOR BOTH OF YOU.

THANKS VERY MUCH.

MONSIEUR ET MADAME...

MY HUMBLE RESTAURANT HAS BEEN HONORED TONIGHT

BY THE PRESENCE OF A DISTINGUISHED GUEST.

THE GREAT RUSSIAN SINGER,

THE FAMOUS FACE OF THE NIZHNY NOVGOROD CONSERVATORY,

VASSILY VASSILIEVITCH VARANOVSKI.

[applause]

♪ [music]

♪ [singing in Russian]

WHAT'S HE DOING?

DRESSED IN VELVET PITCHES

FOR THE COUNT'S BALL. - REALLY?

♪ [singing in Russian]

♪

♪ [singing in Russian]

♪

[laughing]

[applause]

THANK YOU, MONSIEUR.

Vassily: MADAME, FIRST IT IS THAT I SING TO YOUR BEAUTY

AND NOW I DRINK TO IT.

THANK YOU.

- MONSIEUR. - HOW DO YOU DO?

YOU CANNOT DENY TO PERMIT ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF

VASSILY VASSILIEVITCH VARANOVSKI.

YOUR HUMBLE SERVANT FROMTHE MOMENT I LAY MY EYE ON YOU.

[kisses hand]

ALLOW ME,THIS IS MADEMOISELLE MARIA LANYI

AND I AM BERNARD FISCHER.

MONSIEUR.

MAY I SIT DOWN? THANK YOU.

YOU HAVE A GLORIOUS VOICE, MONSIEUR VASS... VASSIL--

VASSILY VASSILIEVITCH.

YOU ARE WHAT I SANG TO, YOU WAS MY INSPIRATION.

YOUR BEAUTY RUNS LIKE A FLAME THROUGH MY MIND.

PLEASE, MONSIEUR, I-- [Russian]

IN RUSSIA, A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IS HAPPY TO MEET ALSO...

- YOU CARE FOR A DRINK, SIR? - ALWAYS.

ALL MY LIFE I SHARE THAT

IN THIS CITY THEY HAVE THE LOVELY WOMEN.

SAY WHEN.

BUT NEVER HAVE I IMAGINED THAT

SO QUICK WOULD IT BE PROVED TO ME.

I MAKE YOU A CONFESS.

TONIGHT I GO TO THE PLAY, 'THE SOLDIER OF CHOCOLATES'.

I SEE YOU, I HEAR YOU.

YOU ARE DIVINE.

- MONSIEUR? - WHEN.

I SAY TO ME, VASSILY, YOU MUST MEET THIS GODDESS.

SO, WHEN I SEE YOU HERE TONIGHT,I AM HAPPY LIKE LITTLE BIRD.

- THAT IS WHY I SING. - HOW NICE.

HOW CHARMINGLY YOU EXPRESS YOURSELF.

CHEERS.

- YOU HAVE BEEN IN RUSSIA, NO? - NO.

- YOU KNOW NO RUSSIANS? - NO... AH, YES.

YES, I MET ONE ONCE.

- SINGER LIKE ME?- NO, AN OFFICER IN THE CAVALRY.

AH-BAH!

IN RUSSIA, WE HAVE PROVERB,

'IF A MAN SPEND TOO MUCH TIME WITH HORSES,

HE BECOMES STUPID LIKE THE HORSES HIMSELF'.

[laughing]

MADEMOISELLE LANYI, I AM DESOLATE BUT I MUST GO.

I HAVE THE ARRANGEMENTS.

BUT... HOW QUICK CAN I SEE YOU AGAIN?

IT'S NOT SO EASY.

YOU SEE, I... I-- IF YOU SAW THE PLAY TONIGHT,

YOU MUST HAVE SEEN KARL LANG.

HE IS MADEMOISELLE LANYI'S HUSBAND.

OH SO-- HE WAS HERE JUST NOW

BUT HE WAS CALLED AWAY.

HE SHOULD BE BACK ANY MOMENT.

I SEE HIM IN PLAY.

HE IS VERY HANDSOME MAN.

YES, AND A VERY JEALOUS ONE TOO, SIR.

WITH WIFE SO BEAUTIFUL HOW SHOULD HE NOT BE?

BUT THE JEALOUSY OF THE HUSBAND

WILL NOT KEEP VASSILY VASSILIEVITCH

FROM SEEING YOU AGAIN.

NOW I GO.

♪ [music]

[applause]

WHAT ZOO DO YOU IMAGINE HE ESCAPED FROM?

DON'T BE SILLY, BERNARD.

HE IS A MAGNIFICENT SINGER AND A GREAT PERSONALITY.

MEN OF HIS TYPE DON'T GROW ON TREES.

NO, THEY SWING ON THEM.

AI-YAI-YAI! WHAT A DRINK!

WHAT A PERFORMANCE.

AND HOW YOU LIKING IT MY FRIEND?

MAGNIFICENT. EVEN THE ORCHESTRA LEADER INSISTS

THAT NOBODY CAN SING LIKE RUSSIANS.

♪ [music]

HELLO, DARLING. I'M SORRY

I HAD TO LEAVE YOU FOR A FEW MINUTES.

WAITER, BRING MY DINNER RIGHT AWAY.

BUT MINUS THE SOUP.

YOU'VE BEEN GONE OVER AN HOUR, DEAR.

THE MACHINERY OF THE LAW MOVES SLOWLY.

THAT SHOULDN'T WORRY A FAST WORKER LIKE YOU, DARLING.

I'M SORRY, MR. LANG,

BUT CHEF SAYS THERE IS NO MORE SCHESLINGER.

HOW WOULD YOU LIKE A NICE CHEESE SOUFFEÉ?

NO, NO, I'M HUNGRY.

PERHAPS A STEAK, SIR.

OH KARL, DINNER ISN'T THE ONLY THING YOU MISSED.

WE HAD THE MOST UNUSUAL GUEST WHILE YOU WERE GONE.

IS THAT SO?

THE STEAK DOESN'T SOUND BAD.

AND, BRING ME SOME BOILED POTATOES AND GREEN PEAS.

WHAT WERE YOU SAYING, BERNARD?

I SAID, WE HAD THE MOST UNUSUALGUEST WHILE YOU WERE GONE.

SOME MAD RUSSIAN, A SINGER,

WHO SIMPLY FORCED HIMSELF ON US.- OH REALLY?

AND BRING ME A MIXED GREEN SALAD.

A VERY HANDSOME MAN.

AND HE HAD ONE OF THE MOST MAGNIFICENT VOICES

I HAD EVER HEARD.

I BEG YOUR PARDON, DEAR, WHO?

VASSILY VASSILIEVITCH, THE RUSSIAN.

OH, THAT REMINDS ME, WAITER, WAITER!

I WANT RUSSIAN DRESSING ON THAT SALAD.

RUSSIAN SINGERS?

WELL, WHAT'S THIS PLACE COMING TO!

THEY'LL BE HAVING DANCING BEARS NEXT.

♪ [singing]

[dogs barking]

[whistling]

[door opening]

CONCENTRATE?

OF COURSE, I CAN CONCENTRATE

WITH ALL THE NOISE GOING ON IN THIS HOUSE.

NATURALLY MY WIFE MUST ARRANGE THE PRACTICING HOURS,

AFTER ALL SHE NEEDS THEM MORE THAN I DO.

[snapping fingers]

♪ [piano music]

[indistinct mumbling]

IT'S FOR MADAM LANYI.

LOOK AT THIS ORCHID.

AND THESE BEAUTIFUL WINE ROSES.

OH THEY ARE LOVELY!

GOOD AFTERNOON, MY DEAR.

OH HELLO, BERNARD.

EXQUISITE! NOW WHO COULD'VE SENT ME THESE LOVELY FLOWERS.

PERHAPS KARL HAS BEEN FEELING ROMANTIC.

OH, KARL NEVER FEELS ROMANTIC TO THIS EXTENT.

WELL, ISN'T THERE A CARD?

LET ME SEE. YEAH, THERE IS A CARD.

I EXPECT YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW WHAT'S WRITTEN ON IT,

WOULDN'T YOU, BERNARD? - NATURALLY.

ALL THE SAME, I DON'T THINK I AM GOING TO TELL YOU.

OH MISS LANYI...

HELLO BERNARD.

TAKE THEM AWAY NOW, LIESEL.

PUT THEM IN MY BEDROOM.

OH LIESEL, WELL, WELL, WELL! SPRING IS HERE.

QUITE A DISPLAY.

ORCHIDS, GARDENIAS, ROSES,

A LITTLE OSTENTATIOUS PERHAPS, BUT PRETTY.

HMM, VERY PRETTY.

YOU CERTAINLY HAVE YOUR ADMIRERS, MARIA.

I SHOULD HOPE SO.

AND WHO IS IT THIS TIME?

I REALLY DON'T KNOW, DEAR. THERE WASN'T ANY CARD.

TELL ME, BERNARD, ARE YOU GOING TO STAY FOR TEA?

THANKS A LOT-- ONE MOMENT, DEAR.

ARE YOU SOLEMNLY ASSURING ME

THAT NO CARD CAME WITH THESE ROSES?

NO, DEAR, JUST ASSURING YOU.

THERE IS NOTHING TO BE SOLEMN ABOUT.

OH NO, MR. LANG, THERE WAS NO CARD.

THAT'S A LIE.

GET OUT OF HERE, GO ON, YOU FOOLISH FACE.

GET OUT!

NOW WE'RE GOING TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS.

OH DEAR, STOP TALKING LIKE A DEEP SEA DIVER.

- GIVE ME THE CARD. - I WILL NOT.

I COMMAND YOU TO GIVE IT TO ME.

I WANT TO KNOW WHO THE ADMIRER IS

THAT DARE TO EXPRESS HIS ADMIRATION IN ROSES.

- GIVE IT TO ME! - I WILL NOT!

SHE DARE! LOOK AT HER EYES, BERNARD.

LOOK AT HER EYES, SEE THEM FLASH.

GIVE ME THAT CARD, MARIA.

NOW, NOW, NOW, CHILDREN, CHILDREN.

YOU KEEP OUT OF THIS!

VERY WELL, THERE WAS A CARD WITH THE FLOWERS.

BUT I WILL NOT GIVE IT TO YOU.

I DO KNOW THE NAME OF THE MAN THAT WAS ON IT,

BUT I WILL NOT TELL YOU.

THE MAN WHO SENT ME THOSE FLOWERS DOES APPRECIATE ME,

DOES ADMIRE ME, DOES LOVE ME.

SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?

- KILL HIM! - OH.

THAT'S WHAT I'LL DO, I'LL KILL HIM.

YOU HEAR ME? I'LL KILL HIM.

- NEW TIE, DO YOU LIKE IT? - YES, VERY NICE.

KARL, AS AN OLD FRIEND OF THE FAMILY,

YOU'VE BEEN VERY DISGRACEFUL TO ME.

HOW COULD YOU FORGET YOURSELF SO COMPLETELY?

IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHO SENT THE ROSES,

WELL, WHY DON'T YOU ASK THE FLORIST?

- WHY SHOULD I DO THAT? - WHY SHOULD YOU?

A MINUTE AGO THIS WAS AMATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH TO YOU.

- I KNOW WHO SENT THEM. - WHAT? YOU DO?

- WHO DID SEND THEM? - I DID.

NOW, NOW, KARL, YOUR WORDS ARE ONE SYLLABLE.

KINDLY EXPLAIN WHAT ALL THIS FOOLISHNESS IS ALL ABOUT.

YOU CANNOT DENY TO PERMIT ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF,

VASSILY VASSILIEVITCH VARANOVSKI.

WHAT? LAST NIGHT?

THAT MAD RUSSIAN, IT WAS YOU?

IT WAS YOU!

GREAT SCOT!

♪ [humming]

LOOK, HERE'S A LETTER AS WELL.

MY DEAR, GIVE IT TO ME.

LISTEN...

"DEAR MADAME, IF NOTHING HAPPENS TO PREVENT

THEN YOU HAVE THE GREAT KINDNESS

TO APPEAR IN YOUR WINDOWAT FIVE O'CLOCK THIS AFTERNOON.

IF YOU WILL PULL BACK THE CURTAIN AND

LOOK DOWN INTO THE STREET,

I WILL KNOW THAT I AM THE HAPPIEST MAN."

JUST IMAGINE!

"I SHALL BE WATCHING FROM A CAB NEARBY

AND HALF AN HOUR LATER,

WILL DO MYSELF THE GREAT HONOR OF CALLING UPON YOU.

YOUR HUMBLE SERVANT, VASSILY VASSILIEVITCH."

ISN'T THAT JUST TOO ROMANTIC?!

[knock on door]

DARLING, I HAVE SOME UNEXPECTED NEWS.

- NEWS? - YES.

IT'S A TELEGRAM FROM THEMANAGER OF A THEATRE IN OLMUTZ.

- OLMUTZ? - OLMUTZ.

HE'S IN A JAM, HE WANTS ME TO SING THERE TONIGHT.

SING THERE TONIGHT?

YES, OF COURSE IT'S SUNDAY.

IT'S NOT ONLY SUNDAY, IT'S FOR CHARITY

SO I DON'T SEE HOW I CAN REFUSE HIM, DO YOU?

NO, I SUPPOSE NOT.

IF I START IMMEDIATELY,

I CAN CATCH THE FIVE THIRTY TRAIN.

YES, OF COURSE.

- AND I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW. - TOMORROW?

YES, TOMORROW IN THE AFTERNOON.

- MY LETTER. - OH!

IN THE LATE AFTERNOON.

♪ [humming]

AND DID THE TELEGRAM YOU SENT YOURSELF CONVINCE HER?

- IT DID. - THEN EVERYTHING'S FIXED.

- EVERYTHING. - IT'S FINE.

AT FIVE O'CLOCK I LEAVE HERE, GO DOWN THE STREET,

CHANGE MY CLOTHES AND COME BACK TO MY OWN HOME.

FOR A SPECIAL STARRING ENGAGEMENT

IN THE FIRST REALLY GREAT AND SERIOUS PART I'VE EVER PLAYED.

THE PERFORMANCE BEGINS AT FIVE THIRTY.

FIVE THIRTY?

IT'S ALMOST FIVE NOW, SHOULDN'T YOU BETTER HURRY?

I'M IN A CAB DOWN ON THE STREET,

WAITING WITH BEATING HEART

WONDERING IF SHE WILL APPEAR IN THE WINDOW.

OH COME, COME, OLD BOY, YOU KNOW SHE WON'T.

OH BERNARD, ARE YOU STILL HERE?

MY DEAR, I'VE BEEN TALKING TO KARL.

KARL'S GOT TO GO TO OLMUTZ ANDI'M GOING TO MISS HIM TERRIBLY.

THAT'S TOO BAD, I THOUGHT I'D TAKE HIM DOWN TO THE STATION.

FORGIVE ME, DEAR,FOR BEHAVING SO BADLY JUST NOW.

OF COURSE, I DO.

SO GENEROUS, SO SWEET.

I SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU IMMEDIATELY

WHO SENT ME THE FLOWERS, IFYOU HADN'T STARTED BULLYING ME.

AFTER THAT, WELL I THOUGHT YOU NEEDED A LITTLE LESSON.

SO I DID, WHAT A BRUTE I WAS!

WHAT A BEAST!

WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO TELL US NOW?

WHY CERTAINLY!

IT WAS DOCTOR SCHULTZ.

YOU REMEMBER, KARL?

HE AND HIS WIFE DINED HERE LAST WEEK.

NOT VERY ROMANTIC, IS IT, DARLING?

NO, DOCTOR SCHULTZ IS HARDLY THE ROMANTIC TYPE, IS HE.

YOU BETTER HURRY, DEAR. YOU'LL MISS YOUR TRAIN.

I KNOW... THERE'S PLENTY OF TIME.

[clock striking five]

AH, FIVE O'CLOCK!

AH, FIVE O'CLOCK.

AH, EXACTLY FIVE O'CLOCK.

[Karl whistles]

WELL, GOODBYE, DARLING.

TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF AND DON'T FORGET ME.

WHAT?

I SAID, TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF AND DON'T FORGET ME!

OF COURSE, I WON'T FORGET YOU.

YOU'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON.

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SIBERIA, SURELY.

THE JOURNEY TO OLMUTZ MIGHT PROVE

JUST AS FATAL AS A JOURNEY TO SIBERIA.

NOW, RUN ALONG, BERNARD AND DON'T LET HIM MISS HIS TRAIN.

[humming]

AH-HA!

[door opening]

HURRY, HURRY!

OH, LISA, TIDY UP A BIT.

FOR HEAVEN SAKE WASH YOUR FACE.

WASH MY FACE?

PUGSIE... PUGSIE?

WILL YOU STOP PEERING OUT OF THE WINDOW IN THAT

AWFUL BROODING WAY.

NOT A SIGN OF HIM YET.

THEN COME AWAY FROM THE WINDOW,

ANYONE WOULD THINK-- I'M NOT WRONG,

I HAVEN'T FELT SO NAUGHTY IN YEARS.

NAUGHTY? PUGSIE, HOW DO I LOOK?

DIVINE, MY DARLING, LOVELIER THAN EVER.

I'M SO EXCITED, I COULDN'T BE MORE THRILLED

IF HE WERE COMING TO SEE ME.

WHY YOU'RE TREMBLING!

- NONSENSE. - BUT YOU ARE.

PERHAPS I AM A BIT NERVOUS.

NO, YOU'LL TAKE HIM IN YOUR STRIDE

AS YOU TOOK ALL THE OTHERS.

THE OTHERS? - WHY OL' BUDAPEST RANG

WITH YOUR ROMANTIC TRIUMPHS.

DON'T YOU WORRY, MY DEAR.

THIS RUSSIAN WILL BE AS CLAY IN YOUR HANDS.

OH FOR HEAVEN SAKE, BE QUIET, PUGSIE.

I AM QUITE NERVOUS ENOUGH AS IT IS

WITHOUT HAVING TO LISTEN TO YOUR UNPLEASANT INNUENDO.

- UNPLEASANT? - YOU MIGHT AS WELL KNOW

THAT MY ROMANTIC PAST IN BUDAPEST HAS BEEN

VERY MUCH EXAGGERATED.

BUT ALL THOSE LOVERS...

MY DEAR PUGSIE, I HAD ADMIRERS.

AND IF ANYONE WAS FOOLISH ENOUGH TO BELIEVE

THEY WERE MORE THAN THAT THEY WERE WELCOME TO DO SO.

THIS IS BAD NEWS.

IN FACT IT WAS A VIEW I RATHER ENCOURAGED.

YOU SEE, I HAD KARL TO CONSIDER.

WHAT DID KARL HAVE TO DO WITH IT?

OH, KARL IS ALWAYS SURROUNDED BY HORDES OF DOTING WOMEN.

SO, WHEN I DECIDED TO MARRYHIM I PUT UP SOME SORT OF SHOW.

KEEP THEM GUESSING, THAT'S MY MOTTO.

WELL, I AM DISAPPOINTED, I MUST SAY.

THAT IS I SHOULD BE DISAPPOINTED IF...

- IF WHAT? - IF I BELIEVED YOU.

REALLY, PUGSIE?

WHAT A MONSTROUS THING TO SAY!

[car screeches to halt]

HE'S HERE!

NO!

WELL, COME AWAY FROM THE WINDOW.

♪ [music]

WHAT A MAN!

HOW I ENVY YOU, MY DEAR.

[clock striking five thirty]

♪ [music]

HE'S COMING.

ALL THE LUCK IN THE WORLD, DARLING.

I KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE WONDERFUL.

[knock on door]

MADAM LANYI IS AT HOME, NO?

NO... I MEAN, YES.

TAKE HER TO ME.

YES, SIR.

THIS WAY PLEASE.

[dogs sniffing and growling]

♪ [piano music]

[Russian]

OH!

- WOULD YOU COME IN. - WITH MUCH PLEASURE.

MADAME.

I MUST PAY 1000 PARDON

FOR SEEKING YOUR PERSONAL ACQUAINTANCE IN THIS TRULY,

UNUSUAL FASHION.

NO, NO, NO, I AM AN ACTRESS, I LIVE FOR MY PUBLIC.

I AVAIL MYSELF OF THEFREEDOM GIVEN BY MY PROFESSION.

IT SPARES SO MANY CONVENTIONAL STUPIDITIES.

I AM TERRIBLY HAPPY, MADAME.

AND I WAS AFRAID-- OH BUT NO LONGER, I HOPE.

WON'T YOU SIT DOWN!

- MERCI! - OH, SO YOU SPEAK FRENCH.

REALLY, HOW INTERESTING.

A CHARMING LANGUAGE, YOU SPEAK IT TOO?

OUI, MA OUI!

THEN WE BOTH SPEAK IT. DA, DA.

QUITE A COINCIDENCE, ISN'T IT!

- DA, DA. - DA, DA, DA.

PERHAPS WE HAVE MANY COMMON THINGS, NO?

I CAN, SURE, I MEAN, DO YOU COLLECT STAMPS?

EH... NO, I DO NOT COLLECT THE STAMP.

YOU MAKE A JOKE, HUH?

[laughing]

WELL, WE MUSTN'T LET THAT SPOIL OUR FRIENDSHIP, MUST WE?

FROM NOW ON NO 'MISTER' SHALL COME BETWEEN US.

TO YOU I AM VASSILY, TO ME YOU ARE MARIA.

DON'T THINK WE ARE GETTING ON JUST A LITTLE TOO QUICKLY?

I AM QUICK, VE-RR-RR-Y QUICK.

YOU WOULD BE SURPRISED HOW QUICK I COULD BE.

YES, I IMAGINE I SHOULD.

- DO YOU TAKE SUGAR IN YOUR TEA?- ALWAYS!

- HOW MANY LUMPS? - ONE, ONLY.

- ONLY ONE? - ONE.

I DO NOT THINK IT MANLY TO CARE FOR THESE SWEETS.

THAT'S WHAT I AM ALWAYS TELLING MY HUSBAND.

HE TAKES FOUR LUMPS, YOU KNOW!

EVEN WITHOUT SUGAR THE LOT OF THE HUSBAND IS SWEET.

YOU EMPHASIZED THE WORD 'HUSBAND', SO HUMBLY.

I DO NOT TAKE THE HUSBAND TOO SERIOUSLY.

VERY SENSITIVE.

DO YOU SMOKE?

MERCI!

THESE ARE NOT VERY GOOD CIGARETTES

BUT MY HUSBAND DOESN'T CARE FOR ANY BETTER.

THESE ARE VE-RR-RR-Y GOOD CIGARETTES!

YOUR HUSBAND HAS EXCELLENT TASTE.

OH... YOU THINK SO?

I HEAR YOUR HUSBAND ON STAGE.

YES, HE'S AWFUL ON THE STAGE.

HE'S VERY HANDSOME MAN.

YEAH, MANY WOMEN ADMIRE HIM.

YOU DO NOT?

OF COURSE, I DO.

BUT MANY OTHER WOMEN ADMIRE HIM, TOO.

THEY DO?

THAT'S WHAT HE SAID.

HE'S VERY INTELLIGENT MAN.

I WON'T GO SO FAR AS TO SAY 'VERY INTELLIGENT'.

BUT AT ANY RATE HE'S A VERY GOOD ACTOR.

YES, HE'S RATHER GOOD, ISN'T HE?

HE'S VE-RR-RR-Y GOOD!

I SHOULD LIKE TO TELL HIM SO.

I'M SURE HE'D BE MOST FLATTERED.

BUT NOW OF COURSE, HE IS OUT.

NOW HE IS OUT, YES?

[laughs]

IN RUSSIA WE HAVE PROVERB.

[Russian]

WHICH MEANS 'WHEN THE CAT'S AWAY,

THE WOLF WILL SOON BE AT THE DOOR'.

WELL, THERE IS NOTHING LIKE THAT ABOUT MY HUSBAND.

HE'S NOT AT ALL SUSPICIOUS.

- NO? - NO.

OF COURSE, I NEVER GIVE HIM ANY REASON TO BE.

- YOU DO NOT? - NO, NEVER.

IF I HAD WIFE LIKE YOU,

I WOULD NEVER LET HER OUT OF THE SIGHT OF MY EYE.

THE SOUND OF MY VOICE-- OH NO, I WOULD NOT WANT TO BE

OUT OF THE SOUND OF YOUR VOICE.

I DO NOT WISH TO SPEAK NOW OF MY VOICE.

HOW YOU LIKE HIM, HUH?

I THINK IT'S MAGNIFICENT.

LAST NIGHT WHEN YOU SANG-- LAST NIGHT I SANG

FROM THE HEART.

LAST NIGHT I SANG TO YOU.

MY LOVE-- OH SING TO ME AGAIN.

- WHAT NOW? - PLEASE!

WHAT SHALL I SING?

AAH... I THINK SOMETHING RUSSIAN WOULD BE NICE,

NOT ABOUT THE BOATMAN, OF COURSE.

YOU DO NOT LIKE OUR BOATMAN?

VERY, VERY MUCH, BUT

I THINK IT'S A LITTLETOO EXCITING FOR THE AFTERNOON.

FOR ME NOTHING IS TOO EXCITING, EVEN IN THE AFTERNOON.

BUT I WILL THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE.

I WILL SING YOU MY FAVORITE SONG.

♪ [music]

OH BEAUTIFUL!

YOU LIKE HIM, EH?

VERY MUCH.

[Maria sighs]

WHY ARE YOU SIGHING?

IT MEANT NOTHING.

YOU ARE WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO COME INTO YOUR LIFE, HUH?

SOMEONE WHO IS PERHAPS, VE-RR-RR-Y NEAR.

PERHAPS.

[Russian]

I BEG YOUR PARDON.

[Russian]

- I MUST GO. - GO?!

I CAN MYSELF NO LONGER TRUST WITH YOU.

YOU ARE TOO BEAUTIFUL, TOO DESIROUS,

MY FEELINGS ARE FLYING AWAY WITH ME.

OH NO, NO, NO, YOU MUST CONTROL YOURSELF.

WE MUST BOTH CONTROL OURSELVES.

SIT DOWN. NO!

HERE.

- YOU ASK ME TO STAY? - YES.

YOU ASK ME TO SIT ON THIS INTIMATE SOFA BY YOU?

YES.

A LONELY WOMAN AND A LONELY SINGER ALONE,

THAT IS THE SITUATION VERY DANGEROUS, NO?

I DON'T KNOW.

BUT MADAME, I AM A VERY STRONG MAN.

YOU THINK I CAN SIT SO NEAR TO YOU,

A WOMAN WITH SUCH A WARM BLOOD AND SUCH PULSING

BUT NEVER FEEL ONLY ESTEEM AND RESPECT,

IS THAT POSSIBLE FOR SO STRONG MAN?

I DON'T KNOW.

I'VE NEVER KNOWN ANY REALLY STRONG MEN.

B-B-B-BUT YOUR HUSBAND...

OH, HE IS NOT STRONG, QUITE DELICATE, IN FACT.

YOU PERMIT ME TO SPEAK MY FEELING FOR YOU?

YES.

HAVE YOU CONSIDERED THAT CAREFULLY?

IF YOU GIVE ME TIME TO THINK IT OVER,

I MAY NOT ALLOW IT.

I GIVE YOU TIME.

I HAVE THOUGHT IT OVER.

YOU MAY SAY IT.

GO AHEAD, GO ON.

SINCE YOU PERMIT, THEN I SHALL TELL YOU.

- THIS FEELING IS LOVE! - OH!

I AM CRAZY AFTER YOU, I CANNOT PUT YOU FROM ME.

YOU THINK I CAN SIT AND DRINK THE TEA

WHEN I THIRST FOR THE TOUCH OF YOUR LIPS?

NIGHT AFTER NIGHT I AM WALKING BENEATH YOUR WINDOW

LIKE A SCHOOLBOY DREAMING OF YOU.

I AM MAD AFTER YOU.

YOU ARE HURTING ME, YOU ARE HURTING ME.

SO, I AM BRUISING THIS WHITE FLESH, HUH?

I AM A BRUTE, A SAVAGE.

YOU WANT TO KNOW LOVE, EH?

I WILL TEACH YOU LOVE.

THE WILD LOVE OF A WILD LAND.

YOU SHALL KISS LIKE THE GYPSIES KISS.

[Russian]

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

I DO NOT KNOW, I DO NOT KNOW.

OH MADAME, HOW WARM YOU ARE.

HOW SOFT, HOW SMOOTH--

[Maria laughs loudly]

OH MADAME, YOU ARE DELICIOUS.

[laughing]

YOU ARE LAUGHING. YOU LIKE THAT, HUH?

OH YOU BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL THING.

I WONDER NO MAN HAS EVER KISSED YOU.

YOU... YOU BARBARIAN! HOW DARE YOU?

YOU DO NOT LIKE MY KISS?

THAT WASN'T A KISS, IT WAS A BATTLE.

YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF

HUMILIATING ME LIKE THIS,

HURTING MY FEELINGS LIKE THIS.

YOU FORCE YOUR WAY INTO MY SHELTERED LIFE,

TAKE ADVANTAGE OF MY KINDNESS, ABUSE MY HOSPITALITY.

IS THIS YOUR USUAL CONDUCT WHEN A LADY ASKS

YOU IN FOR A CUP OF TEA?

NO, NO, NO.

TO GET MORE ATTENTION FROM HER YOU BITE HER?

- NO, I SWEAR. - GO! PLEASE GO.

I BEG YOUR PARDON 1000 TIMES, MADAME.

NOW I GO.

WAIT!

NO, I CANNOT SEND YOUAWAY IN THIS INSULTING FASHION.

I FEEL I HAVE GONE TOO FAR.

AFTER ALL YOU ARE ONLY A MAN

WITH THE INSTINCTS OF A MAN. - YES.

AND I AM ONLY A WOMAN WITH THE INSTINCTS OF A WOMAN.

NO... YES...

FOR THE MOMENT I FORGOT MYSELF,

FOR THE MOMENT I WAS DAZZLED.

YES, I ADMIT IT, COMPLETELY DAZZLED.

BY YOUR VOICE, YOUR LOOKS, YOUR SPELLBINDING PERSONALITY.

- DA. - DA.

BUT I SHOULD'VE TOLD YOU AT THE START

AS CALMLY AS I TELL YOU NOW.

OH PLEASE DON'T LOOK AT ME

WITH THOSE GREAT BURNING EYES OF YOURS.

THAT, I COULD NEVER DECEIVE MY HUSBAND.

IT IS NOT MY NATURE TO DECEIVE.

- IT IS NOT? - IT IS NOT.

SO, YOU SEE, I MUST SEND YOU AWAY.

WE MUST NOT MEET,

WE WERE NOT DESTINED FOR EACH OTHER, YOU AND I.

LIKE THE SHIP THAT PASS OUT IN THE NIGHT?

EXACTLY.

YOU SEE BEFORE YOU A WOMAN WHO LOVES HER HUSBAND,

WHO WILL ALWAYS LOVE HIM.

A GOOD WOMAN AND A FAITHFUL WIFE, NO?

PRECISELY!

GOODBYE. FORGET ME IF YOU CAN.

OH, I SHALL NEVER FORGOT YOU!

NO, JUST THE FINGERTIPS.

ENOUGH!

GOODBYE. GOODBYE!

SHE IS TRUE.

MY HUSBAND WILL BE OUT THIS EVENING.

- THIS EVENING? - THIS EVENING.

HE'S GONE TO OLMUTZ.

OLMUTZ?

♪ [instrumental music]

[door opens and shuts]

♪ THANK THE LORD THE WAR IS OVER

♪ NOW WE LIVE THE ROW IS OVER

♪ ALL THE FIGHTING'S FINISHED AND DONE

♪ WE'RE PREPARED FOR LOVE AND FUN

♪ SO AWAY WITH MELANCHOLY

♪ LET US KISS AND ALL BE JOLLY

♪ WE WILL SING AND DANCE AND PLAY

♪ BOTH NIGHT AND DAY

♪

- RUSSIAN. - VERY POTENT.

- AREN'T WE WICKED! - MADAM LANYI, MADAM LANYI...

IT'S HIM.

HE'S BACK.

MARIA?

MARIA?

WELL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY TO ME, 'WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE'?

IS THAT YOUR GREETING, YOUR EMBRACE, YOUR KISS?

NATURALLY, I WANT TO KNOWWHY YOU HAVEN'T GONE TO OLMUTZ.

I MISSED THE TRAIN.

WELL, THERE'S ANOTHER IN HALF AN HOUR.

I SHALL PROBABLY TAKE IT.

WHEN DO YOU TROUBLE TO COME HOME?

IF YOU PREFER,I'LL GO SIT IN THE WAITING ROOM.

MAYBE I AM IN THE WAY HERE.

[Maria laughs]

- WHERE ARE YOU GOING? - NOWHERE IN PARTICULAR.

THEN WHY THE PERFUMED BATH?

OH-HO! WHY NOT?

WELL, THAT'S MORE NATURAL.

THAT'S MORE LIKE MY SWEET, LOVING, LITTLE WIFE.

AND A GOOD HUMOR, AREN'T YOU, DARLING.

YES, AREN'T WE!

I'M IN A GOOD HUMOR, YOU'RE IN A GOOD HUMOR.

- WHEE! EVERYTHING'S ALRIGHT. - YES.

[laughing]

WELL THEN, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH YOURSELF SINCE I LEFT?

I SAID, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH YOURSELF SINCE I LEFT?

NOTHING.

AREN'T YOU BORED DOING NOTHING?

- NO. - ANYBODY CALLED?

- NO. - NOBODY AT ALL.

- YEAH, SOMEBODY WAS WITH ME. - OH?

PUGSIE.

OH THAT MUST HAVE BEEN NICE FOR YOU.

- ANYBODY ELSE? - UM-HM.

THERE WAS A MAN.

OH, THERE WAS A MAN, HUH?

A MAN WITH A BILL.

[laughing]

- WITTY AS WELL AS PRETTY. - THANK YOU, DARLING.

YOU KNOW THE GARDENER SAID SOMETHING ABOUT

HEARING A MAN SINGING.

OH! THAT PROBABLY WAS LISA'S YOUNG MAN,

BUTCHER BOY, YOU KNOW, DEAR.

UH-HUH.

BUT WILL THE BUTCHER BOY BE SINGING?

OF COURSE, EVERYBODY SINGS HERE.

HMM.

WELL... LITTLE BY LITTLE

YOUR HARMLESS QUESTIONS HAVE DEVELOPED

INTO A REGULAR CROSS EXAMINATION.

I CAN'T STAND IT, I TELL YOU.

THERE WAS SOME KIND OF MAN HERE THIS AFTERNOON.

THERE ARE ALL KINDS OF MEN, THINKERS, TAILORS,

SOLDIERS, SAILORS-- RICH MEN, POOR MEN,

BEGGARS AND THIEVES. - YEAH, MEN IN TOP HATS,

MEN IN BOWLERS,MEN IN CAPS, MEN IN STRAW HATS,

MEN IN SHINING HELMETS.

IT'S THE FIREMEN WHO WEAR HELMETS.

- THE WHAT? - OOH, VERY NICE.

I'VE DECEIVING YOU WITH A FIREMAN.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

HOW DO I KNOW? I'LL ASK LISA.

NO, I'LL ASK LIESEL.

I'M ANXIOUS TO KNOW WHETHER LISA WOULD GUESS

THAT IT WAS A FIREMAN.

OH, SO YOU HAVE BEEN LISTENING,MY GIRL, HUH?

I WAS JUST COMING IN.

WELL, THEN YOU KNOW IT WAS A FIREMAN.

QUITE RIGHT, MY DEAR, YOU GROW OLD IN THIS HOUSE

YOU'RE A GOOD AND FAITHFUL SERVANT.

NEXT TIME I OPEN THE DOOR,

I'LL KNOCK, SO YOU WON'T HURT YOUR NOSE.

WAS IT OUR SLY OLD PUGSIE THE FIREMAN CAME TO SEE?

HAS THERE BEEN A FIRE?

LOOK OUT LIESEL, I AM COMING THROUGH.

A CHARMING SCENE.

I CAN'T PUT UP WITH ANYMORE OF THIS.

YOU ARE KILLING MY VERY SOUL.

OH NO, NO, DON'T SAY THAT.

YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I REALLY LOVE YOU.

- YOU SUSPECT ME. - NO, NO.

YOU BELIEVE THESE LIES ABOUT ME,

YOU TRUST THE GARDENER MORE THAN ME.

NO, DEAR, I DON'T TRUST THE GARDENER AT ALL.

YOU ARE ONLY SAYING THAT BECAUSE YOU KNOW

I WON'T STAY A MINUTE LONGER WITH YOU

IF YOU GO ON TORTURING ME LIKE THIS.

NO, NO, DEAR, DON'T LEAVE ME.

I SWEAR I'LL NEVER TORTURE YOU AGAIN AS LONG AS I LIVE.

TELL ME FROM YOUR VERY HEART

THAT YOU DON'T BELIEVE THESE MALICIOUS LIES ABOUT ME.

NO, NO, I DON'T BELIEVE THEM.

AND YOU DO LOVE AND TRUST ME?

I LOVE YOU, DEAR.

THAT'S A GOOD BOY.

AND NOW I THINK IT'S TIME YOU GOT READY FOR YOUR TRAIN.

NOW JUST WAIT IN THERE UNTIL I GET DRESSED.

OH, I CAN'T BEAR TO LEAVE YOU.

OH, YOU HAVEN'T GOT TO LEAVE ME YET.

WHAT?

NO, I AM GOING TO SEE YOU TO THE TRAIN MYSELF.

- OH NO, NO. - YES!

I'M GOING TO SEE YOU TO THE TRAIN MYSELF.

I THINK THE WHOLE IDEA IS A BIT RISKY.

BESIDES ARE YOU CERTAIN THAT MARIA DOESN'T RECOGNIZE YOU?

IN THIS DISGUISE, IMPOSSIBLE!

NOBODY CAN RECOGNIZE ME.

I AM NOT SO SURE.

SHE IS NO FOOL, YOU KNOW.

MY DEAR BERNARD,

I AM GIVING THE GREATEST PERFORMANCE OF MY LIFE.

- I FOOLED YOU, YOU KNOW. - YES, YOU CERTAINLY DID.

AND YOU'RE A VERY SMART FELLOW.

THANKS A LOT.

♪ [music]

HURRY UP, SILLY, LET HIM IN.

HE CAN WAIT A FEW MINUTES, DARLING,

IT WOULD ONLY INCREASE HIS ARDOR.

WHERE'S HE GONE? I CAN'T SEE HIM.

IT'S ODD, HE'S NOT AT THE DOOR.

I HAVEN'T HEARD THE BELL.

♪ [string instrument music]

Karl Lang: ♪ A LONELY TROUBADOUR

[door opening]

Karl Lang: ♪ SANG WHILE THE WORLD WAS NEW

Karl Lang: THE SERENADE I SING

Karl Lang: SO I MAY BRING MY HEART TO YOU

Karl Lang: THE MOON WILL RISE

Karl Lang: BUT ALL IN VAIN FOR THERE'S NO USE IN SHINING

Karl Lang: WHEN MY LADY SLEEPS

Karl Lang: THE BREEZE WILL SINGA SAD REFRAIN

Karl Lang: BECAUSE A HEART IS PINING

Karl Lang: WHERE MAY LADY SLEEPS

Karl: STARLIGHT AND MOONLIGHT AND AMOROUS MELODY WASTED

Karl Lang: WHAT CAN THEY MEAN

Karl Lang: WHEN I'M YEARNING FOR A KISS NEVER TASTED?

Karl Lang: THE NIGHT MAY HOLD A MILLION DREAMS

Karl Lang: BUT WHEN HER EYES DISCOVER JUST A LONELY LOVER

Karl Lang: SHE WILL HURRY ON WITH A SIGH TO THE DAWN

Karl Lang: WHILE THE WILLOW TREE WEEPS

Karl Lang: AND MY LADY SLEEPS

[MUSIC]

GOOD EVENING.

GORGEOUS!

PERFECTION.

OH, THANK YOU FOR THE BEAUTIFUL SERENADE.

I AM GLAD YOU LIKE IT.

AND THAT... YOU WERE ALONE.

MY HUSBAND'S GONE TO OLMUTZ.

A MOST INTERESTING TOWN.

HE IS SINGING A CONCERT THERE.

OH THAT IS VERY LUCKY FOR OLMUTZ.

HE WON'T BE BACK UNTIL TOMORROW.

THAT IS VERY LUCKY FOR US.

YES, LATE AFTERNOON.

IT IS VERY LUCKY ALL AROUND.

OH-HO, I KNEW YOU COULD NOTRESIST THE DESIRE OF YOUR HEART.

[Russian]

OH VASSILY!

NOW I HAVE PLANNED THE MOST WONDERFUL EVENING.

EVERYTHING I PREPARED, THE CAR DANCE,

SO NOW WE GO OUT TO ENJOY.

WHERE ARE WE GOING?

TO HEAVEN, TO ELYSIUM!

WHAT MAKE THE DIFFERENCE, YOU ARE MY DARLING!

THE BANKS OF THE DANUBE UNDER THE MOON.

WHERE THE LIGHT OF THE STARS WILL BE PUT TO SHAME

BY THE LIGHT FROM YOUR SO BEAUTIFUL EYES.

Maria: ♪ TIRALALA...TIRALALA WAS ALL SHE SANG

Maria Lanyi: AND THEN SHE BLUSHED A ROSY RED

Maria Lanyi: TIRALALALA SHE WHISPERED SMILING

Maria Lanyi: AND SO SHINING BOWED HER HEAD

Maria Lanyi: TIRALALA... TIRALALALA... [INDISTINCT]

Maria Lanyi: WHEN IT IS SPOKEN WITH A SIGH

Maria Lanyi: AND SO SHE LOOKED INTO HIS EYES

Maria: AND WHISPERED TIRALALA...TIRALALA...GOODBYE

THANK YOU.

I DO NOT DANCE WELL THE WALTZ.

BUT YOU DO, YOU DANCE BEAUTIFULLY.

NO, BUT IT'S THE CIGANSKI, OH YEAH, THAT I CAN DO.

WHAT IS THAT?

YOU JUMP UP, TWIRL, DANCE, CRASH, BANG.

OH, IT IS A DANCE VERY DANGEROUS, THE CIGANSKI.

- YOU NEED BIG PLACE FOR IT. - YES, I IMAGINE YOU DO.

OH DA.

BUT MY DEAR, TELL ME, WHAT IS THIS 'TIRALALA'?

[humming]

[Russian]

TIRALALA, TIRALALA CAN HAVE A MEANING.

WHEN IT IS SPOKEN... WITH A SIGH.

AND SO SHE LOOKED INTO HIS EYES.

AND WHISPERED, TIRALALA.

TIRALALA, GOODBYE.

♪ [gypsy music]

NOTICE.

Girl: ♪ OUR MASTER BID US FIND A FLOWER FAIR

Girl: THAT TRULY RADIANT BEAUTY WOULD COMPARE

Chorus: [INDISTINCT] HILL AND DALE WE LOOKED AND LOOKED

Chorus: TO NO AVAIL

Girl: THE TASK WAS QUITE IMPOSSIBLE TO DO

Girl: NO FLOWER GREW AS BEAUTIFUL AS YOU

Chorus: SO PLEASE REVERE THE ONE YOU SEE

Maria Lanyi: I THANK YOU FOR THE FLATTERY

Chorus: THIS IS NOT FLATTERY

Karl Lang: NO, IT IS NOT FLATTERY

Karl and Chorus: ASK ANYONE AND SEE

Maria Lanyi: ♪ COME, COME I LOVE YOU ONLY

Maria Lanyi: MY HEART IS TRUE

Maria Lanyi: COME. COME MY LIFE IS LONELY

Maria Lanyi: I LONG FOR YOU

Maria Lanyi: COME, COME NAUGHT CAN EFFACE YOU

Maria Lanyi: MY ARMS ARE ACHINGNOW TO EMBRACE YOU

Maria Lanyi: THOU ART DIVINE

Maria Lanyi: COME, COME I LOVE YOU ONLY

Maria Lanyi: COME BE ALL MINE

[applause]

THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL.

YOU DO NOT SING A SONG LIKE THAT ON THE STAGE.

BUT I WAS SINGING IT TO YOU.

I KNOW AND I AM VERY TOUCHED.

- BUT-- - BUT WHAT?

I THINK HOW SAD IT IS FOR YOUR HUSBAND

THAT HE NEVER HEAR YOU SING THIS WAY.

OH DO STOP THINKING ABOUT MY HUSBAND, HE'S PERFECTLY HAPPY.

HMM.

THINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS WHAT THEY LOOK AT.

HE'S VERY POPULAR TOO, YOU KNOW.WOMEN ADORE HIM.

NATURALLY, HE IS I AM SURE HE IS A GREAT CONNOISSEUR

OF FEMININE BEAUTIES.

ARE YOU?

OH, I HAVE KNOW MANY PRETTY LITTLE WOMANS IN MY TIME.

TWO, THREE, SEVEN, TWELVE--

[Russian]

THEY MEANT NOTHING TO ME.

BUT OF COURSE, YOU MEANT EVERYTHING TO THEM.

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

BUT THAT NEED NOT MATTER TO YOU,MY DEAR.

OH REALLY, THIS IS TOO MUCH.

DO YOU THINK I'M GOING TO SIT HERE

AND HAVE YOUR CHEAP CONQUESTS FLUNG IN MY FACE?

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN MAKE ME JEALOUS

OF THESE CREATURES YOU MENTION?

THESE 'LITTLE WOMANS'?

BUT MARIA...

YOU DARE TO BELIEVE I REALLY CARE?

YOU DARE TO BELIEVE YOU CAN MAKE ME SUFFER?

AND THE WORST OF IT IS-- MARIA...

THE WORST OF IT IS... IT'S TRUE.

TRUE?

NO ONE HAS EVER FORCED ME TO SAY THE THINGS

YOU'VE MADE ME SAY TONIGHT.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME.

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING TO YOU.

NO, MARIA, YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME.

BUT NOW-- BUT NOW?

BUT NOW--

- WELL... SAY SOMETHING. - SAY WHAT?

- DO SOMETHING. - DO WHAT?

YOU... YOU SHOULD'VE KNOWN

THAT I WOULD BURN WITH A GREAT FLAME ONCE YOU SET ME ALIGHT.

YOU... OH YOU... I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

I NEVER, NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

KARL, FOLLOW HER. SHE EXPECTS YOU TO.

HUH?

IF YOU DON'T FOLLOW HER NOW, YOU'LL NEVER KNOW.

- WHAT? - YOU WILL NEVER KNOW.

OH.

AND NEITHER WILL I.

♪ [music]

- MARIA! - OH, NO, NO, NO!

WE MUST BE FRIENDS, NOTHING MORE, YOU AND I.

BUT THAT IS NOT-- OH PLEASE LISTEN TO ME.

I THOUGHT AND THOUGHT ALL THEWAY HOME AND IT JUST CANNOT BE.

I MAY BE TO BLAME BUT THIS MUST BE THE END.

HELP ME, HELP ME WITH YOUR STRENGTH TO SAY GOODBYE.

GOODBYE, DEAR FRIEND.

OH FORGIVE ME.

OH MY DEAR. GOODBYE.

BERNARD, COME HERE. IT'S ALRIGHT.

IT'S ALRIGHT, I AM THE HAPPIEST MAN IN THE WORLD.

SHE RESISTED ME.

CONGRATULATIONS, THE HUSBAND WINS, EH?

OF COURSE!NOW I CAN THROW OFF MY DISGUISE

AND TAKE MARIA IN MY ARMS BECAUSE I KNOW SHE IS TRUE.

SPLENDID!

I AM THE HAPPIEST MAN IN THE WORLD.

I AM THE HAPPIEST MAN-- [balcony door opens]

♪ [singing]

WHY DARLING!

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, DON'T SPOIL IT.

DON'T MOVE. LET ME ENJOY IT.

SWEET DOMESTIC PICTURE AND ALL FOR ME.

WELL, DEAR, DID YOU ENJOY YOUR TRIP?

- DID YOU? - OH YES.

PUGSIE, TAKE HIS HAT AND COAT.

PUGSIE, DEAR PUGSIE.

LIESEL, TAKE HIS BAG AND PUT IT IN THE BEDROOM.

DEAR LOYAL LIESEL.

YOUR TRIP MUST'VE AGREED WITH YOU.

GOODNESS YOU LOOK FINE, DOESN'T HE BABY?

OH YES.

YOU KNOW-- PUGSIE, ORDER A CAB,

IT'S TIME WE WENT TO THE THEATRE.

MY WE LOOK BEAUTIFUL. ARE WE EXPECTING SOMEONE?

WHY YES, MY HUSBAND.

THAT'S A GOOD LITTLE WIFE FOR YOU.

DARLING, YOU BETTER HURRY.

WE'RE DUE AT THE THEATRE IN AN HOUR.

AND YOU CAN TELL ME ALL ABOUT OLMUTZ ON THE WAY.

AND DID YOU GIVE A GOOD PERFORMANCE, DEAR?

- SENSATIONAL! - OH.

I NEVER SANG OR ACTED BETTER IN MY LIFE.

I NEVER PLAYED TO A MORE APPRECIATIVE AUDIENCE.

YOU DON'T SAY.

HOW DID YOU SPEND YOUR EVENING, DEAR?

- READING. - READING?

YES, A BOOK.

- GOOD ONE? - NO.

- QUITE A DULL EVENING, HUH? - YES.

DARLING, HOW ODD YOU'RE BEING?

OLMUTZ IS AN ODD PLACE.

IT DOES ODD THINGS TO PEOPLE.

SO IT WOULD SEEM.

YES, A DISAPPOINTING LITTLE TOWN OLMUTZ.

NOT A DECENT HOTEL IN THE PLACE.

- OH DEAR! - HAIR IN THE BATHTUB,

AND THE FOOD WAS REVOLTING.

OH MY DEAR, HOW YOU MUST'VE SUFFERED.

YOU'LL NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH I'VE SUFFERED.

♪ [music]

Karl Lang: ♪ TO TELL THE TRUTHI NEVER KNEW THERE WERE MAIDENS

Karl Lang: SUCH AS YOU

Maria Lanyi: DO YOU MEAN THAT I AM CHARMING?

Karl Lang: IN A MANNER MOST ALARMING

Karl Lang: EACH TIME WE MEET YOU'RE SOMEONE NEW

Karl Lang: HOW CAN I BE SURE OF YOU?

Maria Lanyi: NOW I KNOW YOU'RE ONLY CHAFFING

Karl Lang: WISH I KNEW JUST WHYYOU'RE LAUGHING

Karl Lang: I AM JUST A CHOCOLATE SOLDIER MAN

Karl Lang: FOR ME YOU FEEL GREAT PITY

Karl Lang: JUST A FUNNY CHOCOLATE SOLDIER MAN

Karl Lang: IN A UNIFORM SO PRETTY

Maria Lanyi: OH YOU SILLY CHOCOLATE SOLDIER MAN

Maria Lanyi: JUST MADE TO PLEASEYOUR MISTRESS

Maria and Karl: SO SWEET I'D MELT IF I EVER FELT

Maria and Karl: A FULL GROWN MAIDEN'S KISSES

KARL, I THINK THE DOOR'S JAMMED.

NO, IT ISN'T. IT'S LOCKED.

LOCKED? WHATEVER FOR?

WELL THIS IS A NICE STATE OF AFFAIRS, I MUST SAY.

I SIT HOME ALL DAY AND DARNYOUR SOCKS AND MEND YOUR SHIRTS,

WHILE YOU GALLING ABOUT OLMUTZ.

AND THEN YOU RETURN AND LOCK ME OUT OF YOUR ROOM.

OH VERY PRETTY, I MUST SAY.

MADAM LANYI ON STAGE PLEASE.

♪ [music]

OH BERNARD, FIND OUT WHAT'S WRONG WITH KARL, PLEASE.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?

♪ [music]

GOOD HEAVENS, KARL, HAVE YOU GONE MAD?

I THINK I HAVE!

Karl Lang: ♪ AT LAST I KNOW THATYOU HAVE MADE A TOOL OF ME

Karl Lang: AND I WAS JUST A VICTIM OF YOUR WILES

Karl Lang: IN WAR'S GREAT GAME I KNOW YOU MADE A FOOL OF ME

Karl Lang: A FOOL [LAUGHS]

Karl Lang: BLINDED BY YOUR SMILES

Karl Lang: IN DREAMS, I WAS YOUR HERO

Karl Lang: LONG, LONG AGO

Karl Lang: BUT NOW I AM AT ZEROYES, THAT I KNOW

Karl Lang: YOU, YOU, YOU HAVE DISMAYED ME

Karl Lang: YOU HAVE DECEIVED MEYOU HAVE BETRAYED ME

Karl Lang: I LOVE BUT YOU--

Chorus: AT LAST! AT LAST! THE SPY IS IN OUR CLUTCHES!

Chorus: AS WE TOLD YOU WHEN WE STARTED

Chorus: OUR WORK THEN SEEMED HALF-HEARTED

Chorus: WHEN WE CHASE A SPY WE GATHER

Chorus: [INDISTINCT]

Chorus: SO KINDLY TAKE A LETTER/\TELL THE KING WE FOUND THE SPY

Maria Lanyi: HOW COULD YOU THINKI EVER COULD DOUBT YOU?

Maria Lanyi: I NEVER DREAMED THAT YOU WOULD BETRAY

Maria Lanyi: SAD WAS MY HEART AND LONELY WITHOUT YOU

Maria Lanyi: UNTIL THIS HAPPY WEDDING DAY

Maria Lanyi: THIS IS OUR HAPPY WEDDING DAY

Maria Lanyi: COME, COME I LOVE YOU ONLY

Maria Lanyi: MY HEART IS TRUE

Maria Lanyi: COME COME MY LIFE IS LONELY

Maria Lanyi: I LONG FOR YOU

Maria Lanyi: COME, COME NAUGHT CAN EFFACE YOU

Maria Lanyi: MY ARMS ARE ACHINGNOW TO EMBRACE YOU

Maria Lanyi: THOU ART DIVINE

Maria Lanyi: COME, COME I LOVE YOU ONLY

Maria Lanyi: COME BE ALL MINE

[laughing]

OH THIS IS TOO DELICIOUS!

THIS IS TOO FUNNY FOR WORDS.

IT'S NO LAUGHING MATTER.

IF YOU COULD ONLY SEE YOURSELF,YOU LOOK SO FOOLISH.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

YOU DON'T THINK THAT I WAS TAKEN IN, DO YOU?

NOW DON'T TELL ME-- OF COURSE, I KNEW.

- OF COURSE, I DID. - YOU DID NOT.

WHY, YOU TRUST YOURSELF TO PLAY A VERY DIFFICULT PART

EFFICIENTLY WELL TO DECEIVE EVEN ME?

SO I DID.

AND YET YOU REFUSE TO BELIEVE I CAN PLAY ONE EQUALLY WELL.

WHEN DID YOU RECOGNIZE ME?

AT TWELVE THIRTY

YOU STARTED THE SONG OF THE FLEA,

AT TWELVE THIRTY-ONE I RECOGNIZED YOU.

OH NO YOU DIDN'T.

AT TWELVE THIRTY TWO I WANTED TO LAUGH IN YOUR FACE.

LIES, ALL LIES.

AT TWELVE THIRTY-THREE

I DECIDED TO PLAY THIS LITTLE COMEDY UNTIL HE END.

I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.

PROVE TO ME ONE LITTLEPLACE WHERE I GAVE MYSELF AWAY.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY GAVE YOU AWAY?

- WHAT? - YOUR KISS.

MY KISS.

OH YES!

I WAS AFRAID OF THAT.

NO MAN ON EARTH CAN KISS LIKE YOU, DEAR.

DARLING--

♪ [music]

Karl Lang: ♪ FORGIVE, FORGIVE, FORGIVE

Karl Lang: WITHOUT YOUR LOVE I WILL NOT LIVE

Karl Lang: AND SO I HUMBLY STANDBEFORE YOU

Karl Lang: TO SAY, MY DEAR ONE I ADORE YOU

Karl Lang: MY DOUBTS AND FEARS HAVE PASSED

Karl Lang: AND WE ARE HEART TO HEART AT LAST

Karl Lang: SINCE YOU ARE ALL THE WORLD TO ME

Karl Lang: TOGETHER WE WILL ALWAYS BE

Karl Lang: TO LAUGH, TO LOVE, TO LIVE

Karl Lang: FORGIVE, FORGIVE, FORGIVE

Maria Lanyi: COME, COME I LOVE YOU ONLY

Maria Lanyi: MY HEART IS TRUE

Maria Lanyi: COME, COME MY LIFE IS LONELY

Maria Lanyi: I LONG FOR YOU

COME, COME! I WANT TO EMBRACE YOU.

MY ARMS ARE REACHING OUT TO EMBRACE YOU.

OH HOW DIVINE.

I LOVE YOU MERRILY.

PLEASE BE MINE.