Original subtitles

(ominous tones)

(eerie music)

- Am I?

Am I?

- [Alien] Dead? No, not exactly.

Your sentence has been adjusted.

- What?

- [Alien] The tribunal decided that in your case

execution was too lenient.

Too kind an end for a murderer of such voracious appetite.

You've been genetically devolved.

- What?

- [Alien] Genetically devolved.

This is your punishment.

The worst sentence we could pass.

You're a human being now.

- A human being?

- [Alien] Yes.

A primitive life form occupying the savage planet Earth.

We will land there soon and you will be left, banished.

A generous action on our part.

Better than you deserve.

- Banished.

- [Alien] Exactly.

You've no hope for return.

- But I, I'm alive.

- [Alien] Yes. For now.

But remember, de-evolution is a flawed process.

It doesn't always work.

Your ingenuity will determine your ability to survive.

Good luck.

At least it's a chance.

- I'll kill you.

- [Alien] A word of caution.

Guard your body well.

Damage to it may result in painful metamorphosis, or worse.

(spacecraft roaring)

(techno music)

(80's pop music)

♪ I'm like a loaded gun ♪

♪ Finger on the trigger ♪

♪ I'm like a time bomb ticking and my time is running low ♪

♪ I got an ache in my back ♪

♪ Keeps getting bigger ♪

♪ I'm working like a dog just to pay that man I owe ♪

- Yeah.

So he takes this big ass ball bearing

and drops it down the end of a high pressure hose.

And just as Dave comes around that corner, pow!

Lets him have it.

(laughing)

Knocked him dead on his ass.

That little squealer is lucky

we did not have to break his arm.

- Yep.

You told me.

- [Driver] Gimme a cigarette.

- [Passenger] I thought you quit.

- I did. I just want one.

Gimme one.

- Well...

if you really want me to.

- Give me a damn cigarette 'fore I knock your head off.

(driver coughs)

- There she is. - Where?

Where?

I got her.

(gunfire pops)

Ah, God, see what you made me do?

- Son of a bitch!

(rumbling)

- [Driver] What?

- Dad?

Dad?

- Shut up.

One of 'em's human.

- What's the other one?

- How the hell should I know?

(alien man screams)

(alien grunts)

(both grunting)

We got to do something.

(alien man yells)

- Shoot it.

- Yeah. Yeah, shoot it.

(gunfire pops)

(alien screams)

Yeehaw!

- Yeah, Dad!

- [Both] Yeah!

(spacecraft whirring)

(whoops)

- I'll bet he is glad to see us.

Howdy.

(owl hoots)

(punch thuds) (dad grunts)

- [Son] Dad!

(dad coughs)

Dad?

(unsettling music)

(alien man yells out)

(gagging)

(voice distorting)

(cracking)

(yelling)

(explosion booms)

(dad coughs)

- Shit.

- There ain't nobody gonna believe this.

- Oh, yeah?

Take the car, and go borrow Joey's van,

but don't tell him nothing.

If we can get this thing outta here, maybe we can sell it.

- Who'd pay money for this?

- Somebody will buy it.

The Army, the circus, fucking Johnny Carson.

And get some dry ice, too.

- Why don't we just put it in the trunk?

- I am not putting that thing in my car.

- Maybe we should just get the cops.

- Don't be stupid.

Just go do what the hell I told you.

Well, go on, goddamn it, go!

(car engine rattling) (unsettling music)

(sniffs)

(cracking)

(dad screams)

- [Male Dispatcher] Yeah, you clear?

5653, 5653, are you clear?

- [Man] You ever been to Hawaii?

- [Woman] Yeah, I was there last month.

- [Man] Yeah? How was it?

- [Woman] It was nice.

- [Man] That's it? I mean, some imagination.

Just nice?

- You wanna know the truth?

- No, not really.

- They kill each other over coconuts,

all they eat is fish, and it rains every day.

- That's not Hawaii. That's Cleveland.

See, I've been to Cleveland.

Come on. Play fair.

(woman chuckles)

- [Woman] Is that Scully?

- Where? Where?

That guy looks like him.

Yeah, now look, here's what we're gonna.

No hey, hey, hey, take it easy, wait, wait!

Oh, Jesus.

(80's pop music)

- Hold it, Scully.

Police. You're under arrest.

- [Man] Hey, asshole.

Fuck! Fuck!

- [Woman] Hands above your head now!

- I'm innocent. I didn't do nothing.

- I have a warrant for your arrest on charges of rape,

sodomy and attempted murder.

You have the right to remain silent.

Come on, mister.

Any...Let her go!

Scully, let her go.

I'm here either way.

Yeah, well, what are you gonna do?

Take a shot. Take a shot.

- [Hostage] No!

- [Scully] Loosen up, bitch!

(hostage crying)

- [Woman] Let her go, Scully!

Fuck around and I shoot your ass!

- [Scully] Back the fuck up!

- Shit.

(suspenseful music)

Hold it, Scully.

- Go on. Get outta here.

Beat it.

Beat it!

You shoot me, and I'll slit her throat.

I mean it.

(Scully yelps in pain)

(hostage screaming)

(Scully laughs)

You wouldn't shoot me.

- Try me.

- In the back?

You ain't got the ba- (gunfire pops)

- [Woman] You have the right to remain silent.

- [Scully] Fucking leg.

- [Woman] Anything you say can and will be used against you.

- [Scully] Oh god!

- [Woman] You have a right to an attorney.

- [Scully] What's the matter with you, you bitch?

- [Woman] If you can't afford one

the court will appoint one. - You're in big trouble!

(Scully exclaims)

No, listen, baby.

Listen. I'm gonna tell you something.

I could really go for a honey like you.

Ow! You're hurting me!

Hey, I didn't think you heard what I said.

We can play house.

I'll bring my friend.

(Scully babbles)

(screams)

What, you can't even take a joke?

(upbeat music)

♪ Fast women, fast cars ♪

♪ Something blows up in my face ♪

(radio stations clicking)

♪ She said the innocence of youth is so antiquated ♪

♪ She leans back and laughs 'til you see ♪

♪ Just the whites of her eyes ♪

(unsettling music)

- [Son] Who's gonna pay money for this?

- [Dad] Yeah?

I Let me chant for some ♪

(driver yelling)

(body thuds) (tires squealing)

- Oh, my god. Oh, my god.

I don't believe this.

I don't believe this.

Tell me you're not dead.

- I'm not dead.

- Oh, my god, please be okay.

Please, mister.

Please, mister, please be okay.

Are you all right?

- I live. I think.

- Come on. Come on, I'll take you to the hospital.

Come on. Come on.

You know, I got hit by a car once.

I was seven.

I was playing with my brother's skateboard,

and zoomed out in the street, and wham!

A cookie truck crashed right into me.

Knocked me out cold for a minute.

My head was as big as a watermelon.

Really gross.

Driver felt bad.

Stopped by our house, gave us a whole case of cookies.

I mean, can you imagine?

What a joke.

Turned out okay, though,

'cause we sued the guy and went to Disneyland.

- Disneyland.

(gags)

- You sure you're okay?

- I am fine.

- Yeah, well, I'll take you to the hospital anyway.

(unsettling music)

(alien man grunts)

- Headlights bothering you?

Grab some sunglasses.

Some sunglasses in there.

Go ahead. Grab 'em.

Don't worry. It's registered.

I'm not a criminal.

You just can't be too careful these days, that's all.

For God's sake.

Go ahead, put 'em on, put 'em on.

Go ahead, go ahead.

(groans happily)

Kinda cute.

Kinda.

(siren wails)

- [Man On Radio] Parker, 148 Parker.

- [Woman On Radio] Unit 3 come in, Unit 3.

- [Man] Still some stuff out.

- [Woman On Radio] Pursuing a man down 128 South Boulevard.

- Where is he? - Hey, just take it easy.

There's no rush.

- What, is he dead?

- Oh, yeah, he's dead.

- Well, maybe we can bring him back. Anybody try CPR?

- Gee, you know, come to think of it, I guess we forgot.

- Where is he?

- He's over there in the bushes.

Why don't you go over there and see what you can do?

(woman gagging)

How you feeling?

- Better, thanks.

Sorry.

- Hey, that's okay.

Tell them the ambulance has arrived, will ya?

- Will you do it, okay?

(woman gagging)

- This is Unit 14.

Read me, over.

- [Woman On Radio] Unit 14.

Read you. Roger.

Over.

- The paramedics have arrived

and they're taking the body outta here.

We're leaving the scene and we're taking the, uh,

suspect in for questioning, over.

- [Woman On Radio] Copy Unit 14. Over and out.

- Funny, officer.

That's real funny.

- Hey, I thought you'd be amused.

- Yeah, well, you wanna tell me where the head is now,

or is that too much trouble?

- No trouble.

There is no head.

- There's no head?

- [Policeman] No head.

- [Paramedic] What happened?

- Well that's for him to know, and for us to find out.

- So, anyway, I was totally into it. Totally.

I was working out five, six days a week, four hours a day.

I was collecting unemployment, so I had the time.

I was taking all these aminos and vitamins,

eating all this health food and stuff, and I looked great.

I'll tell you, I looked great.

But, uh, everything's got its price, you know what I mean?

I mean, well, I developed

this terrible hemorrhoid situation, so,

so I just gave the whole thing up.

I mean, you got your health,

you got your wealth, you know what I mean?

(alien man growls)

I'm not speaking too frankly, am I?

- No.

- Good, 'cause I wouldn't wanna do that.

You sure you're okay?

(alien man grunts)

Well, here we are.

Look, I have an itty bitty baby favor to ask of you.

Would it be okay if I didn't go inside with you?

I mean, it's up to you,

but I'd kind of rather my insurance company

didn't find out about this.

Of course, if you don't have insurance,

well, you know, maybe we could work something out.

We could, uh- - Where are we?

- At the hospital.

So what do you say, is that okay?

Is it a deal?

Come on, buddies, pals, friends?

(alien man growls)

Oh, great!

Thanks.

Thanks so much.

Thanks a lot.

You're such a love. (giggles)

Okay. Well, I'll see you later now.

Buh bye. Bye! Why don't you just go right in those doors.

I'm sure they'll take care of you. (giggles)

See ya.

Can you close the door?

Close the door.

Will you get? Close it.

That's right, just give it a shove.

Bye-bye. See ya.

(tires peeling)

(siren wails)

(upbeat music)

- [Alien] Savage planet Earth.

You're a human being now.

(horn honking)

You've been genetically devolved.

(arcade games beeping)

(horns honking)

- Hey, my man, check it out.

Flake, rock, smack.

I got coke.

Competitive prices, you see what I'm talking about?

I got flake, rock, crack, smoke, Quaaludes, lids and ludes.

I got bennies, uppers, downers, inners, outers.

Hey, check it out, man.

I got ludes, baby.

Hey, hey baby, where you going?

Where you going, mama? Hey, come back.

Where you going, baby?

(policeman exclaiming)

- You wanted to see us, Captain?

- Yeah. I got a homicide in the forest preserve.

Throat slasher.

I want you guys to take it.

- Sex crime?

Ritual murder?

- Maybe.

Anyway, it's hard to say.

They not only slashed the throat,

they, uh, chopped off the head.

- Chopped it off?

- Chopped it off and took it with 'em.

Now, I want you to go down to County and interview the son.

He's our only suspect.

But frankly, uh this is a strange piece of shit.

I mean, the kid's got a record, but he reported the murder.

Well, he didn't exactly report the murder.

He reported a headless monster from outer space.

The, uh, arresting officers found a hunting rifle

at the scene with a silencer on it.

You figure it out.

- Okay.

(people chattering)

(80's pop music)

(men grunting)

- Get up!

Get up.

You asshole!

(glass shattering)

(alien man gasping)

(pensive music)

(alien man calls out)

- Boy, I'll bust you up!

(alien man gasping)

(fire crackling)

I guess I ought to see the other guy, right?

I better get you fixed up, buddy.

Cops come through here, they'll run your ass to the morgue

or to the drunk tank.

Why don't you try this on for size?

(alien man exclaims)

Easy, partner.

- I am fine.

- Sure you are.

But you look like shit.

Put this on.

See what else I got here.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Not over that one. (alien man growls)

Never mind, never mind.

You do what you want.

You're from outta town, right?

Where you from?

- Disneyland.

(laughs)

(both laughing)

- You are weird, my man.

You are weird!

- Weird!

- Never mind. I'm kinda weird myself.

(sighs)

I'm getting tired.

Let's go down to the mission.

- Mission?

- Yeah.

Ritz Carlton's filled up, ain't it?

- I don't know.

(laughs)

(both laughing)

- I like you, man.

- I like you, man.

(chuckles)

- You a funny guy.

Come on, let's go.

Come on, my brother.

(pensive music)

(exclaims) Hold it.

(cat squeals) It's cool.

(cat squeals) - It's cool.

(homeless man yells out happily)

(wind howling)

(unsettling music)

(alien man exclaims)

- Come on, man.

Let's get some breakfast.

- Hi, Kip.

I'm Detective Pierce, and this is Detective Krieger.

We're gonna ask you a couple questions, all right?

What were you doing in the forest preserve last night?

- I already told the police.

We were hunting.

We were hunting deer.

- With a silencer?

- That's not what's important.

What's important is we saw this flying saucer.

Well, I mean, we didn't actually see it.

It was more of this, this bright ball of light.

And then this, this guy...

This monster came out of it.

The monster, he looked kinda like a lizard and a bug.

- A bug?

- Well, they were fighting.

Well, my dad took a shot at him, but it got away.

And then the guy, well, he looked kinda normal, at first.

He comes up to us like he wants to thank us, or something.

But when he gets up to us,

he just hits my dad, knocks him down.

And then this guy starts shaking,

turning into this alien thing.

Everything but his head.

His head just, just exploded!

Just completely disappeared!

My daddy sent me for help.

I got scared so, uh, so I went for the cops.

When we went back there...

my daddy...

my dad's head was ripped off,

and the thing was just, it was gone!

Oh, look, I know I sound crazy.

I don't know if I believe it myself.

But it's true.

And we deserve that money.

We discovered it.

My dad would have wanted it that way.

- All right, let's cut the bullshit, kid.

What the hell were you doing in the forest preserve?

- Fuck you!

You think I'm crazy, right?

Would that make everything better, if I was crazy?

Is that it?

Would that make things better?

- Okay!

All right, Kip, we just need to know what happened.

- Fuck you!

Fuck you!

Fuck you.

- It's the TV.

It gives 'em ideas.

The drugs make 'em crazy, and the TV gives 'em ideas.

This country's going right into the crapper.

- Boo! (laughs)

You, come on.

(exclaims) Let me go!

I'm gonna get you, pig!

I'm gonna get you!

Are you all right?

- [Scully] I'm gonna get you!

- Lunatic.

- [Woman On PA] Doctor Powell,

please call 4991, Doctor Powell.

- [Woman] Soup is for you.

Here you go.

Coffee?

Soup is good for you.

God bless you.

The soup is for you.

God bless you.

Here's the coffee.

Here's some coffee.

Here's the soup.

The soup is for you.

Soup?

Here, hon.

The soup, the soup is for free.

God loves you.

- Say, Julius, my main man.

Gimme a dollar.

I'm halfway to a pint.

- [Julius] I ain't got a dollar.

What I look like, Donald Chump?

Why don't you ask my friend and main buddy here?

What's your name again, homie?

- Bob. Bob Laney.

- Bob.

- [Man] Well, put here there, Jim?

- Bob.

- Bob.

- I ain't got a dollar.

- (laughs) You don't, huh?

Well, don't leave me hanging.

Go on. Shake it.

It won't cost you nothing.

Ah. - Ah.

(Bob slurping)

- Hey, come on, man, don't do that.

Hey man, what's the matter?

You sick or something?

Hey. Come on.

Hey, man, spit it out.

Hey, man, don't.

Come on, spit it out.

(onlookers exclaiming)

- Oh, man!

Jeez.

God damn.

(unsettling music)

- Isn't that something?

- [Krieger] What happened to this guy?

- If I didn't know better,

I'd say his head had been squeezed off.

The lacerations around the neck are too irregular

to indicate anything else, and it appears that a wild animal

ate some of Mr Robert Laney,

almost immediately after he was dead.

- Ate him?

- Not his best day.

I have to run some tests yet.

- [Pierce] Do you think he was killed somewhere else,

then dumped in the preserve?

- Probably not.

That would be inconsistent with the condition of the body.

Blood would have pooled in various places

since the heart wasn't pumping.

- Connie, what do you think happened to the head?

- I don't know.

Maybe animals took it.

- Do you think it's still at the scene?

- Oh, that would make your life a lot easier, wouldn't it?

(pensive music)

(man whooping)

- Hey, yo, ain't this the life?

Think of all them fools up there running around,

punching that clock, kissing somebody's ass,

killing themselves for money.

Look at us.

Man, I'm telling you,

things don't get no better than this, homeboy!

You want a taste, man?

Let's crack this bottle.

♪ Buh, buh, buh, buh ♪

♪ Buh, buh, buh, buh ♪

(Julius chuckles)

Beethoven's 5th, Julius' pint.

- I ain't shitting you, man.

I won the lottery.

And that's more than you can say.

- Then what the hell happened to the money?

Man, you talking shit.

- The daily game, man, not Lotto.

It wasn't but 890 bucks.

Shit, I spent that in a week.

- Go ahead, man, turn it up.

- Hey, Humphrey, save some for the fish!

(unsettling music) (gurgling)

- Hey, homeboy, what's up?

(creaking)

- Holy shit.

(alien man yelling)

- Fuck. Shit.

(gagging)

(yelling)

(suspenseful music)

(horn honking)

(siren wailing)

(panting)

(alien man slurping)

- Well, what did I tell you?

Wasn't it beautiful?

Today was my kinda day.

But be prepared to bundle up tonight.

Especially in the western suburbs.

Tomorrow, a cold front coming down from Canada

and a warm front coming up from the Gulf

could collide and cause some precipitation.

Will it be clear, or will it get nasty for this weekend?

Be back with you in just a moment.

- [Announcer] Up next, sports on Channel Ten Metro News.

- [Woman On TV] Escape to paradise tonight on a waterbed

from The Waterbed Hunt.

Sleep problems?

One of our flotation systems-

- Chodiss. - Restore the joy

to your favorite leisure activity.

So many models to choose from.

The solid, early American pioneer-

- Hey, Chodiss!

- [Woman On TV] Arabian splendor,

or the handsome, hand crafted Versailles.

Drift off to sleep tonight on a bed from the Waterbed Hunt.

- What's the matter?

- You got a cigarette on ya?

- You're not allowed to smoke in here, and you know that.

- Um, babe, baby, you gotta help me.

I'm dying.

- Okay, you want me to call a nurse?

No, come on, cut it out, cut it out.

I'm not kidding.

Now, listen.

Give me a butt so I can smoke it

while I'm moving my bowels in the toilet, huh?

- You're supposed to use the bedpan.

- Oh, man.

Don't make me beg you.

I can't use that fucking thing.

Hey hey, hey hey look.

Here. Here.

I swear to God.

I swear on my mother's grave that I won't do nothing.

Just let me sit on the toilet and move my bowels

and smoke a cigarette while I'm doing it.

Is that too much to ask outta you?

Huh? - Forget it, Scully.

No can do ski.

- Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Gimme that thing.

Jesus H. Christ,

you gotta make a federal case outta everything.

- [Woman On TV] Or simply irresistible.

Sybil brings out the...

No two feelings are alike.

(Chodiss exclaiming)

(Scully grunts)

- [Man On TV] Portrait of a serial killer.

Critics agree, "Henry" is truly disturbing.

See it for yourself, but not alone.

“Henry, Portrait of a Serial Killer."

A Channel Ten world premiere, Sunday at 8:00.

(pensive music)

- [Announcer] Channel Ten Metro News.

- [Weatherman] My five day forecast

Increasing chance of some showers tonight and tomorrow,

then clear, warmer.

Highs in the 60's, lows in the 40's.

Cool around the lakes.

That's about it.

Back to you, Dave.

- Police report finding an unemployed transient

murdered tonight in an alley,

three blocks from the Pacific Mission.

This is the second (Scully grunts)

Decapitation murder (bed squeaking)

Reported in the city in as many days,

(Chodiss moans) but police declined

to speculate on whether the murders are in some way related.

Unlike the previous killing,

both the body and the head of the victim

have been recovered.

- [Pierce] You take me to the nicest places, Charlie.

- [Krieger] Stick with me, kid.

- [Pierce] There's 10 guys in there

we should be booking right now.

- [Man On Dispatcher] Battery in progress.

Progress 16 minutes.

Who's available?

(upbeat music) (people chattering)

(man yelling out)

- What's your fucking problem?

You got a problem?

- Yeah, I got a problem!

Yeah! Some of that.

Get back! Get back!

Get back. - Yo, fucking-

(gunfire pops) (people screaming)

♪ My hand can be used like a knife ♪

♪ I know you don't see me now ♪

♪ And that's okay ♪

♪ Well I can wait 1,000 days ♪

♪ And I need no tender salad bar ♪

♪ Is gonna let you let me in to where you are ♪

(swanky music)

- Darling, you look marvelous.

(laughs)

(Chodiss moans)

- [Woman On PA] Doctor McAmeny, 2601.

Doctor McAmeny, 2601.

- And then he just twisted his head off,

like you take the cap off a bottle of wine.

Blood's everywhere, and I started running.

Man, I mean, I ran for my life.

- But you had been drinking all day.

- Yeah, but I wasn't drunk.

I saw the guy turn into a monster.

His hands, his arms, okay, his, his head, okay,

his head got real weird,

and then he ripped Julius' head off.

Twisted it right off.

- Look at me. Could I do that?

I'm asking you, could a regular person do that?

- Yeah.

Did your monster have a name?

- As a matter of fact, he did.

Very particular about it, too.

Uh, Bob Laney.

His name was Bob Laney.

- Diana, can I talk to you for a minute, please, outside?

Wait a second, Krieg.

Mr. Whitefeather, this is Detective Krieger.

Tell him the monster's name.

- Bob Laney.

- Diana.

Krieger, I don't know what it's gonna have

anything to do with this, but Bob-

- I got some bad news.

Scully escaped.

Chodiss was guarding him at the hospital,

and he attacked her.

It's bad.

He beat her up pretty bad.

- Is she gonna be okay?

- Yeah, they think so.

Look, um, why don't you go down to the hospital

and I'll finish this up.

I shoulda wasted him.

- What?

- I shoulda wasted him when I had the chance.

- Oh, yeah, right.

Yeah, I forgot.

This is all your fault.

Go on.

Get outta here, will ya?

(waves crashing)

(unsettling music)

- [Alien] You're a human being now.

♪ Buh, buh, buh, buh ♪

♪ Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh ♪

- [Man] Say, Julius, my main man.

(airplane roars)

(unsettling music)

(voice distorting)

- You can see her now.

- What time is it?

- 7:30.

- Thanks.

- Don't stay too long. - Okay.

- [Woman On PA] May I have your attention, please?

The nursing grand rounds are now being held

in the professional building room B.

- Hey, Pierce.

How you doing?

- How are you doing?

I brought you some flowers.

- Thanks.

- So how you doing?

- Lousy.

- Yeah.

I heard.

- God. I fucked up.

So bad.

- You didn't fuck up.

It coulda happened to any of us.

- God, that asshole could have killed me.

I guess I'm lucky, huh?

- Can I do anything for you?

Feed your plants?

Water your cat?

(both chuckling)

- Thanks.

- I'm gonna have to get you

a pair of sunglasses for that black eye.

(both laughing) - Does it look that bad?

- [Pierce] I'll have you looking like a rock star.

- [Woman On PA] Dr. Frank Weisman, 2211.

Doctor Weisman, 22-

- You get outta here real quick, okay?

- Diana, can you do me a favor?

- [Diana] Anything.

- Can you catch that prick for me?

- He's top on my list.

(unsettling music)

(gagging)

(glass shattering)

- [Julius] Yo man, this is the life.

- [Man] Say, Julius.

Say, Julius.

Say, Julius.

(voice distorting)

- [Man] Easy boy, what do ya got?

(voice distorting)

- The wound is quite similar to that of the other victim.

This time, they found the head, but, uh...

Well, take a look for yourself.

It's not exactly a matched set.

Meet Robert Laney.

- The other victim.

- Right.

Dental records. Positive I.D.

- What's going on here?

- I've had blood drinkers and skin peelers,

but this is a new one on me.

And here's the really weird part.

Histopathology found elements

of a third blood type in Laney's head.

- The perpetrator.

Great.

- I didn't say on his head.

I said in his head.

- [Diana] This is too strange.

- And guess what.

This one was eaten too.

- So we're dealing with a serial killer

who's not only a cannibal,

he injects his victims with his own blood.

- That third blood type,

we haven't been able to classify yet.

- Classify? - Yeah.

We don't even know if it's human.

(animal trumpets)

- [Tour Guide] Cost $2 million over the last few years.

Now I'd like to show you another section of the museum

that's also of great interest.

Uh, if you'd like to step this way...

Thank you.

Step this way, please.

Excuse me, sir.

Sir?

Please, everyone, uh, stand back, please.

Uh, everything's fine.

- [Woman On PA] Will the owner of a red Buick,

license plate BH1017,

please remove your car from the emergency entrance?

- Hello, beautiful.

Miss me?

- Busy day for you?

- That's the way I like it.

This one ain't much.

Passed out at the museum.

He came to before we got there.

He didn't want us to touch him, so we didn't.

Probably hasn't bathed in a couple of years.

He's got some terrible kind of skin condition

on the back of his hand.

You can handle it.

- Gee. Thanks so much.

- [Woman On PA] Dr. Jack Jones, respiratory therapy.

- [Paramedic] Let's go.

- [Woman On PA] 1186, stat.

- Sorry, love. Duty calls.

- Oh, leaving me again?

- It's a cold, cruel world, darling.

Ciao.

(unsettling music)

- [Woman On PA] Dr. Jack Jones, please call 1186.

- Shit. Shit.

(patient yells)

(alien man grumbling)

- Dead. Dead.

Dead.

(electricity crackling)

- Syringe, Nurse!

- [Nurse] Yes, Doctor.

- Dead.

Dead.

Dead.

(doctor moaning) - Doctor, oh, my God!

- [Woman On PA] Doctor Rina, please call the operator.

Dr. James Rina, please call the operator.

- Oh!

Oh! Oh, my God.

Yes. Do you have an appointment?

(alien man growls)

- Well, all right.

Come in.

Come back in 15 minutes, Nurse.

(nurse exclaims) Now, what's the matter with you...?

- Man, oh, man.

- What's happened?

(alien man babbles)

Now, I'm not gonna hurt you.

I just wanna take a look at your neck.

(alien man babbles)

I can't help you unless you let me examine you.

(unsettling music)

(voices distorting and overlapping)

(yelling)

(unsettling music)

(head cracking)

(unsettling music)

- [Woman On PA] Would all first year nursing students

please report to room 307 at 3.00 p.m. today.

(unsettling music)

- Dr. Cheever.

Dr. Cheever.

- [Man] He examines it, examines it, examines it.

(unsettling music)

(nurse screaming)

(car alarm beeping)

(engine revs)

- [Dispatcher] 1748, 335 on South Appleton.

- [Diana] What a day.

Krieg

- [Krieger] Yeah?

- What if they're telling the truth?

- Who? - The witnesses.

- Witnesses never tell the truth.

- [Diana] I'm serious.

- So am I.

- All right.

Then what was Robert Laney's head

doing at the scene of Roosevelt's death?

- I don't know.

Maybe it was part of the killer's ritual.

I don't know.

- [Diana] Maybe.

- Look, the kid's a dope fiend, the Indian's a wino.

I mean, what?

Are you trying to say that there are people from outer space

visiting us here? Is that what you're trying to say?

- No, no. I mean, I don't know.

But sometimes, you wonder.

- Look, look, we home grow 'em right here.

Look around you.

I mean, (chuckles) we got enough nutsy fagans here.

I mean, Jesus Christ, we don't have to import this shit.

Look at it.

- That's what I like about you, Krieg.

You really let me know what you think, you know?

You don't fuck around.

Hey, watch it, lady.

- [Dispatcher] Unit 22, come in. Come in, unit 22. Over.

- Unit 22. Over.

218, Unit 22.

In Roten Hospital.

You got another one.

Repeat, 218-

- Yeah, I know what that is.

- Yeah, we're on our way.

Kick it, baby.

Let's go.

(tires peeling) (siren wailing)

(unsettling music)

- [Alien] Dead? No, not exactly.

- [Man] All right, come in.

- [Alien] You're a human being now.

(woman screams)

- Can I help you?

What can I do for you?

I'll be with you in a moment.

- Are these yours?

- Yes.

- They must be working you hard, Doc.

What was it, a car accident?

- Nosebleed.

- Nosebleed? (laughing)

You're a funny guy, Doc.

Don't worry, I'll take care of these.

Nosebleed. (laughs)

(unsettling music)

- I'm a funny guy.

(upbeat music on radio)

- Hi, Dr. Cheever.

Hi.

(unsettling music) (dog barking)

- [Nurse] Oh, Doctor.

Dr. Cheever.

Dr. Cheever.

(nurse exclaims)

Dr. Cheever.

- [Alien] What's the matter with you?

- [Man] Do whatever the hell you want to do.

(indistinct arguing)

I'm tired of hearing that.

I'm tired of having the same argument over and over again.

(clock chimes)

(egg cracking)

(dog barking)

(dog snarls)

♪ We can do anything ♪

♪ By working with each other ♪

♪ I ain't gonna work for free ♪

♪ Tell me what's in this for me ♪

♪ We can do anything ♪

♪ By working with each other ♪

♪ Come on, kids, take a shot ♪

♪ Show them what we really got ♪

♪ We can do anything ♪

♪ By working with each other ♪

♪ I'm a tree without roots ♪

♪ I'm a flower without seed ♪

♪ If I don't kill you first ♪

♪ Would you please, please kill me ♪

♪ Grass in the yard is burnt oh baby ♪

♪ Grass in the yard is burnt Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Oedipus my wheels ♪

♪ Oedipus my wheels ♪

♪ Come on ♪

♪ Kill your mama, kill your papa ♪

♪ Kill Madonna, I'll kill your mama ♪

♪ Oedipus my wheels ♪

♪ Oedipus my wheels ♪

♪ I said Oedipus my wheels ♪

♪ Oedipus my wheels ♪

♪ Didn't I kill your dad ♪

♪ That's a big one ♪

♪ You know it's out of my hands ♪

♪ Love you metro ♪

♪ Grass in the yard is burnt oh baby ♪

♪ Grass in the yard is burnt, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Oedipus my wheels ♪

♪ Oedipus my wheels ♪

♪ I said Oedipus my wheels ♪

♪ Oedipus my wheels ♪

♪ Get out of my way ♪

♪ Get out of my way I said Oedipus my wheels ♪

♪ Get out of my way I said out of my way ♪

♪ Oedipus my wheels ♪

♪ Fuck me, fuck you, fuck me ♪

♪ Fuck you, fuck me, fuck you ♪

♪ Fucky, fucky, fucky, fucky, yeah ♪

- That stunk.

- What're you talking about?

That was great.

You stink.

Oedipus my wheels?

Oedipus my ass.

- I liked the part about killing your parents.

- Why shouldn't I wanna kill my parents?

What have they ever done for me?

- You are seriously twisted, man, you know it?

- Okay, here it is.

(metal music)

- You look like shit!

- I do not. - Not you, him.

- I look great.

- [Woman] He looks great.

- I do. - He does.

- You look great. - I do.

- You sound like shit.

- Fuck you, man.

- We may never find our friends again.

- [Man On TV] We tried, now, let's eat.

- We don't have any money.

- Oh! - No problem.

We'll carve out an I.O.U.

- [Group] Yeah.

♪ Kill your mama, kill your papa ♪

- The natives are restless.

- Maybe it's the headhunter.

- Not funny, Lance.

- Head, head, I need my head.

- Now what is it?

- It's Vlad.

- [Boy] Who's Vlad?

- Dr. Cheever's dog.

He's a pain in the ass.

- Well, let's kill it and eat it.

- Well.

I like your new song, Lance.

It's stupid.

Stupid songs sell.

Why don't the rest of you guys write some songs?

- Make a speech, why don't you?

- Shut up!

- Have some respect for a fellow artist.

- My good man, the sting of your humor

is no more relevant than that of a butterfly's fart.

- Uh, where're you going?

- I'm gonna go see a man about a horse.

(ominous music)

(Vlad growls)

(tense, upbeat music)

(yelling)

- [Boy] You've gotta go! You've gotta go!

- Open the fucking door, maggots!

(liquid splurting)

(gunfire pops)

(dogs barking)

(yelling on TV)

- [Woman On TV] What's the matter?

- [Child On TV] My tummy hurts.

- [Woman On TV] What did you eat?

- [Child On TV] Everything!

(unsettling music)

(Diana gasps)

(evil laughing)

(Diana screaming)

(phone rings)

(panting)

- [Diana] Yeah?

Okay.

3040 Lakeview Terrace.

Yeah, I got it.

Okay.

- [Dispatcher] 1632.

- What do you think it is?

- I have no fucking idea.

- [Dispatcher] Unit 22, repeat that last description.

- Yeah.

Okay, its head belongs to the dog next door,

and its body, it's a monster.

- A monster? - Yeah. A monster.

You call Scarcelli, and you wake him up.

Are they sure it's dead?

- Yeah.

- Absolutely sure?

- No pulse, no respiration, what else is there?

- Could this thing come alive and rip somebody's head off?

- What do you think?

- [Dispatcher] Send it to the morgue.

- Did you tell Scarcelli it's a dog headed monster?

- He believes you.

He told me to tell you to send it to the morgue.

That's where you send dead monsters.

- Come on, kid, I'll buy you a drink.

Come on.

- [Dispatcher] Uh, yeah, a citizen called at 4940 Stone.

- When I was working sex crimes down in area 4,

we had this, this young, pretty girl.

She was a runaway.

She said her father had been doing her

and had been doing her for a long time.

She cried, and she begged us to take her in,

to stay at Audi House.

And I vowed to bring him in.

So we brought him in, and we turned on the heat.

Turns out he was a substantial joe,

and a loving father, and that she made the whole thing up.

It gets you.

- Yeah.

Well, listen, it's, uh, it's late and I'm beat,

so let's solve the problems

of the universe tomorrow, okay, kid?

What do you say?

- (chuckles) Okay, Charlie.

- You know your problem?

You got no social life.

- What, do you want me to get married,

and all this would go away?

- No, no, this'll all be the same.

The only difference is,

you'll be driving in a station wagon to PTA meetings.

- Who'd take care of you, Charlie?

- God.

♪ So I'd sit all alone ♪

♪ Hands on the telephone ♪ Let's go, huh?

- Thank you, Joey.

- [Krieger] See you later, pal.

♪ I'm on the line ♪

(liquid trickling)

- Hey. Hey!

What do you think you're doing?

- I'm taking a piss.

What's it to you?

- It's my fucking city, asshole,

not your personal toilet bowl.

- (chuckles) Hey.

Get lost.

- I'm a police officer

and you're under arrest for indecent exposure.

- Hey, look, Officer, I was just taking a leak, I-

- Wipe it up. - Huh?

- Wipe it up.

- It's raining!

- Wipe it.

Now.

- [Perpetrator] Look, Officer-

- Hey, you, you, you.

Go on. Get out of here.

It's enough.

Get outta here.

Diana, I wanna talk to you.

- Krieger, I hate when you do that!

I had it under control.

Fuck!

- I think it's time you went home, Diana.

- I hate that. I hate that shit.

- You're making much too much of this.

I've done it myself, you know.

Dogs piss in the street every day.

- Well, good for dogs, all right?

I wanna go home.

- Okay, kid. Let's go.

Come on.

(unsettling music)

(evil laughing)

(engine revs)

(unsettling music)

(dog whimpering)

(creaking)

(dog whimpers)

(suspenseful music)

(knife clicks)

(gunfire pops) (Scully grunts)

(unsettling music) (thunder crashes)

(people chattering)

- Thanks.

- How you doing?

- I'm all right.

- Never a dull moment.

- Not on this job.

Krieger?

I've never killed anybody before.

- It's never easy.

Maybe you ought to take some time off, kid.

- Ah, I'm okay.

I'm gonna stay.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

It's your call.

- I just finished talking with the FBI.

They wanna talk to you guys.

- [Krieger] About what?

- About that thing you found last night.

They don't know what to make of it.

- [Krieger] Well, what the hell do you expect us to do?

- Just explain it away.

- You can't do that.

You have to see it for yourself.

It's not human.

- If it's not human, what is it?

(phone rings)

- Detective Pierce, homicide.

Yes.

We'll get over there right away.

Trouble.

That thing we sent Connie, she thinks it's still alive.

(dramatic opera music)

(gasps)

(alien man growling)

(ominous tones)

Connie?

We came here as fast as...

Connie?

- Oh, my God.

(grunts) (tense music)

(alien man growls)

(Diana screams)

(gunfire pops)

(ominous music)

(gunfire pops)

(Diana coughs)

- [Man] Oh my god.

- What's going on here?

- It's all right. Everything's under control.

Call downtown.

Tell Captain Scarcelli to get his ass down here now.

Will you do that for me, please?

- Right away. - Thank you.

You all right?

Would you get her some water?

You know all that money

we're spending exploring outer space?

We, we gotta stop.

I, uh, I think my nose is broken.

(crashing) (glass shattering)

(woman screams)

(gunfire pops)

(alien man growls) Fucking bastard!

(Krieger yells)

(neck cracking)

(gunfire pops)

(gunfire pops)

(gunfire pops)

(gunfire pops)

(gunfire pops)

(extinguisher clangs)

- Take it easy.

Take it easy.

It's over. It's over.

- We'll take him. FBI.

- You can't kill it!

(alien man exclaiming)

(gunfire pops)

- It's dead now.

- [Dispatcher] Unit 20, come in.

Unit 20.

Where are they going?

They don't know what they're doing.

- The Feds never do.

- No.

(unsettling music)

(alien man screaming)

(tires squealing)

(ambulance crashes)

(80's pop music)

(voice distorting)

(man yelling)

(man yelling)

(growling)

(man yelling)

(voice distorting)

- [Man] Shoot it!

(growling)