All language subtitles for Surrealestate s01e09 White Wedding.eng

Previously onSurrealEstate

CARL: So, how you doing?

I'm an industry pariah.

ZOOEY: Rita Weiss is probably

putting her sign in their
front yard as we speak.

Responsible for
domestic violence

and the death of innocents.

Well, you still
have your health.

I've been thinking that it
might be time for us to go legit

but now I've decided: Nah.

PHIL: We gotta be who we are.

We are going to come back
to the office tomorrow

ready to kick a whole lot of ass
and close a whole lot of escrow.

SUSAN: Hell, yeah, we are!

? Lively music ?

( Gasp )

PRIYA: Oh, my god!

( Laughter )

GUEST: Oh, jeez!

- That is fabulous!
- What do you think of this?

Do you think he'll enjoy it?

- PRIYA: Oh!
- SUSAN: Oh!

You need to get the
prong on this ring fixed!

It keeps catching.

It's bad luck to take it
off before the wedding.

Not sure that's a thing, Priya.

Well, it should be.

Mm. One hell of a rock.

It's been in Leon's
family for generations.

And now, so am I!

( Laughter )

Who is the, uh,
happy, spooky lady?

That's Ruby, Leon's great aunt.

Is she... okay?

She has a little dementia
but she's very sweet.

She took care of Leon
after his mom died.

Oh.

I'm going to see if she's okay.

Hi.

( Guests giggle )

How's the mother of
the bride holding up?

KAMALA: Oh. Ask her after

a few more of these.

Marty, let's get some more
hors d'oeuvres over there.

We have bridesmaid's
dresses to fill out.

Did you have something
to do with that?

Not guilty.

Nobody looks good in frosting.

Lovely wall colours.

The bold blue, invoking the sea,

the sky.

It's a nice house when it's
full of people like this.

( Laughter )

Fantastic!

Most of the time I'm alone

and it feels like.

Castle Dracula meets
Ice Station Zebra.

( Chuckles )

If you ladies don't stop
giving her such ugly lingerie,

I'll never have
any grandchildren.

It's good having her home.

Otherwise, I'd just rattle about
these rooms thinking about Dev.

Yeah, we all miss him.

Don't get me wrong.

I couldn't be happier for Priya.

I love...

- What's-his-name.
- Leon.

Leon.

He's smart, makes a good living.

I just wish Dev was here
to walk her down the aisle.

She's been planning this
wedding since high school.

A winter wedding at
the lodge. Candles

pine boughs and snow.

We're Desi. It's unnatural.

I almost sold this
place after Dev passed,

but Priya insisted
I hang onto it

so she and Leon could
get married here.

And... Then what?

I dump this beast.

Find somewhere small on a beach

where people see
pictures of snow and say,

"Jeez, what's that?"

Hang on. You're almost there.

Oh. I just wish it was over.

Ah!

Only my idiot sister would
think it's a good idea

to arm the bride.

Marty, let's do that ugly, fake,

cake-face thing.

Time to cut the cake, beti.

Cake time.

( Murmurs of approval )

Oh!

Oh, wow!

This is lovely.

All right...

? Sinister music ?

( Murmurs of shock )

( Squeal )

( Squelching )

GUEST 2: Oh, my God!

Who you gonna call?

? Opening Theme music ?

( Man screams )

( Phone buzzing )

What does this look like to you?

Like Jack the Ripper meets
the Pillsbury Doughboy.

MEGAN: Hi, Susan!

Hey! How's the new place?

It will be great. Some day.

So, I'm just... I'm really
worried about Priya.

You know, she's been my best
friend since we were little.

We need to help her.

And then we get to
sell her mom's house.

Happily ever afters all around.

What's the story?

Oh, it's a gorgeous
winter lodge.

Prime location, oversize lot,

magnificent,
handcrafted woodwork.

A legacy property

searching for a new trustee.

I was asking about the
buttercream stigmata.

What's the story there?

Oh! Priya cut it open
at her bridal shower

and it started bleeding!

Ew.

Maybe you should just focus
on the wedding right now.

I can multi-task!

I can be a friend

and a bridesmaid and a real
estate agent simultaneously.

This is the kind of
elite listing we need.

Looks like they've
stopped the bleeding.

I'll let you know when I
get our name on a contract.

I thought you were a workaholic.

Oh, I once sent her a
meeting invite titled

"work/life balance."

She declined it.

( Phone vibrates, rings )

Hey. You forget something?

RITA: Hey! Forgot to tell you

your face looks
like a rhino's butt.

Rita, I thought, hoped,
prayed you were someone else.

If only.

Look, we need to
talk face-to-face.

I'll come by your office
tomorrow, nine o'clock.

( Phone hangs up )

? Emotional music ?

( Crying, gasping )

KAMALA: You take over.

LEON: Hey.

Hey. It's all right.

( Sniffling, crying )

We've had a crap few weeks.

It's going to get better.

Leon, I don't know how much
more of this I can take!

First, I fell in the shower
and then the hutch tipped over.

It missed you.

But, like, by an inch!

The house is trying to kill me.

( Sigh)

Then I murdered our cake.

You should stay away from me.

Honey...

For your own good.

It's all good.

Look,

in a few weeks we'll be married

then we'll be off to Fiji.

And then we'll have a whole,
beautiful life together.

( Sigh )

God, I hope so.

Nothing's gonna stop
me from marrying you.

? Music fades out ?

So, I told the guests the cake
had raspberry filling in it

and the heat from the kitchen
caused pressure to build,

so when the knife cut in, it...

Is that what happened?

How's Priya?

Ach. She's a wreck.

This wedding is
going to kill us all.

I heard about her fall.

And her close call
with the hutch.

That girl has never
been a prima ballerina,

but ever since those
kids got engaged

she's been bumping into
this and falling down that.

And this all happened here?

That's right.

In this house?

What are you getting at?

? Mysterious music ?

Maybe it's not Priya.

Or the wedding.

Maybe it's the house.

( Scoffs )

The people I work with,

they have

a very particular set of skills.

I thought you were
in real estate.

Yes, but we... our agency

specializes in
houses that have some

challenges.

It happens more than
you might think.

Let us help you.

We'll get Priya
through the wedding.

Afterward, let us sell
this house for you

and we'll find
you a lovely condo

on a sun-soaked beach.

I like you, Susan.

You've always been a
good friend to Priya.

She loved having you over
because you would always

clean her room.

The housekeeper
always forgot to clean

the top of the baseboards.

Can you still do the things?

Only when I absolutely have to.

I remember having you over
for dinner all those times.

Nobody ever had to
pass you the salt.

( Laughs )

So, the house.

Can we help you?

Hm.

Wonderful! I'll put
together the contracts.

I don't think there's any rush.

Oh!

What are you doing here, Ruby?

Do I know you?

I'm Priya's mom.

Oh.

Leon's Priya!

Oh.

She's so lovely.

Hm.

? Gentle music ?

Are you Priya?

Oh, no. I'm Priya's friend.

I'm Susan.

Oh.

Would you like to
sit by the window?

I thought I was.

Leon says Ruby has occasional
glimmers of clarity

but I've yet to witness one.

Aunt Ruby, can we get you a
glass of wine or something?

There's only more to come.

More wine?

More blood.

I heard

business is in the crapper.

Oh, we've been better.

Well, here's the thing:
I have a property.

Several properties, in fact,

that could

benefit

from your particular brand of

horseshit.

You want to hire us?

On a consulting basis.

You want to hire us.

For an agreed-upon
percentage of.

? Playful music ?

Come on.

You gotta say the words.

( Chuckles )

I...

want...

- Mm.
- To hire you.

Ooh.

Was it as good for
you as it was for me?

Hm.

You are such a used diaper

full of medical waste.

So, what's the catch?

What do you mean?

Well, what you're doing
could be considered

in some cultures

a nice thing.

( Laughter )

( Inhale )

Don't kid yourself.

I have clients.

They have houses with problems

that you and the rest of the
cast of Cabin In The Woods

might be able to solve.

In the end,

I am going to make money.

A lot of it.

If that makes me the
happy little helicopter

that lowers a rope to help
you save you from yourselves,

I'll just have to
live with that.

Thank you.

Hm.

Seriously.

You owe me big time.

Pus dumpster.

Da-dun-da-dah.

Hm.

( Contented sigh )

Just wow!

Do not tell my mom
that I showed you.

Oh, it is magnificent.

( Happy sigh )

It doesn't suck.

( Unintelligible
excited voices )

What's going on out there?

Hm, it didn't feel
this snug at the shop.

Susan, I am deputizing you.

Hit me with a Taser

if you see me
consuming any sugar

before the reception.

( Commotion continues )

Susan?

? Mysterious music ?

( Fabric tightening )

AUNT RUBY: No one hears me!

No one listens!

Ruby!

Can I help you?

Oh!

( Fabric tightening )

( Gasping )

AUNT RUBY: I tried to fix it,

but I can't.

It's okay. You're-you're
just turned around.

Oh!

( Fabric tightening )

( Panicked breathing )

PRIYA: Susan!

- Ah, I'll be right back, okay?
- I'll be right back.

Oh!

Oh.

Oh.

( Gasping )

( Fabric tightening )

Susan!

( Fabric tightening )

( Bass hit )

( Large exhale )

( Gasping )

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SUSAN: Six listin

Rita gave us six listings?
What's wrong with them?

- Oh, just the usual.
- I got Phil, August and Zooey

doing the initial prep.

We'll see what's going on here
and we'll divide and conquer.

It's a nice place.

Is the family around?

Brunch.

We pretty much have
the house to ourselves.

When Priya's dad was alive,

this whole front

was planted with marigolds.

He was from Bangalore

and wanted the place
to smell like home.

I'll never forget that.

Dev and his marigolds.

? Mysterious music ?

( Bass hit and
high-pitched ring )

Let's go inside.

I get why she wants
to get married here.

Some of my best memories
were in this house.

Parties, sleepovers,

watching the NBA
finals with her dad.

Yeah, I practically
grew up here.

So, Dad kept the faith?

Kamala is Christian
but they made it work.

Dev kept the old ways,
the daily worship.

Puja.

So, this was Dad.

You don't think that...?

Gotta consider everything.

No.

Dev loved Priya.

He would never want to hurt her.

Maybe that's not his intention.

? Gentle music fades out ?

So, those are all bedrooms

and the master suite is
at the end of the hall...

Shit.

Aunt Ruby?

Why are you here alone?

Ah.

I needed a nap.

Hey, Susan.

Ruby was feeling a little
tired so we left early.

- Leon, this is Luke Roman.
- We work together.

Leon Baptiste.

Most know me as the
groom around here.

- Congratulations.
- Thank you.

You were talking to the man.

Uh, what man?

Uh-uh.

The father of the bride.

You were talking in
front of the house.

? Mysterious music ?

They were talking?

His name was Dev.

Why was he so upset?

Okay.

LUKE: We weren't
actually talking.

There was no conversation.

But he is a presence
in that house.

You feel him everywhere.

I will never believe

Dev would want to do
anything to hurt Priya.

These dead souls,
they hate change.

They're stuck here
like a bug in amber

and a lot of them resent
the ones they left behind

move on with their lives,
change addresses, get married.

Well, what about that
Aunt Ruby person?

She raised Leon.

Maybe-maybe she's trying
to stop the wedding

to keep him for herself?

And now you're speculating.

If it is Dev...

Help him, okay?

Don't dissemble his molecules

with one of August's
contraptions.

That is the plan.

Do you mind if I drop
you off at the office?

Gotta help Megan
move some things.

Sure.

Okay.

Even though I don't
want to believe

that you're actually there,

I'd like to share two thoughts.

First,

I'm leaving on my own terms,

in a calm, confident manner.

Not fleeing in terror.

I win. You lose.

And second?

You missed out on
a really great kid.

Luke grew up to be this
smart, kind, wonderful man.

Not because of you,
but in spite of you.

But I have to believe
that it was you

that brought him
into this weird,

awful little world
full of death and

monsters

and things that don't
make any empirical sense.

? Emotional music ?

So, damn you for that.

( Slams door )

( House and Victoria laugh )

On to e

we're going to
divide and conquer.

Zooey, keep us organized.

It is my entire raison d'�tre.

Let's do this.

? Driving rock music ?

( Bass hit and
high-pitched ring )

( Board clatters )

( Knuckles crack )

? Rock music continues ?

? Doorbell ?

Back together again.

? Gentle emotional score ?

Amazing job, everybody.

PHIL: Come here.

I want you guys to take
another look at this.

So, now we're all about
Priya's place, right?

Absolutely. Are things okay?

So far so good.

Leon took the ring
to the jeweler

and had that jagged prong fixed.

You don't suppose that
was it the whole time?

Some sort of jewelry curse?

Sure! Maybe. Seems unlikely.

Probably not.

So, when is the ceremony?

Saturday night.

A Christian ceremony with
some Hindi traditions.

Really charming.

How do you think her father
would feel about that?

Dev was very open-minded.

Hey, Luke. You got a second?

We noticed this when we
mapped out Rita's places.

They look totally
random until...

( Computer beep )

You drop in one more data point.

The Donovan House.

As Donovan gets closer,

our P.K.E. readings get higher.

Now that Megan has relocated
and the house is vacant

in the, uh, corporeal sense,

I'd like to take some
additional readings.

You don't want to
go to the wedding.

I've, uh, walked the
aisle with four daughters.

I've experienced four
rehearsal dinners.

I've survived four receptions,

restrained myself from
murdering four best men

after four tasteless toasts.

I've done my time.

So, what's tonight?

Tonight is a quiet
evening at home;

A family dinner.

Are you invited?

I'm family.

I would really like to check
the energy of that family.

Can we be your plus four?

Plus three.

I got homework to do.

They did want me to
find the photographer.

Well, there you go.

You just stop by and take
a couple shots of the fam

with your Kirlian CDC,

have a little champagne
and fried eggplant curry,

then you're off the hook.

Ah, I do adore fried
eggplant curry.

I need to talk to
Priya about her father.

Ah, no.

( Sigh )

I really think that
it is possible.

No, I-I don't mean no. I mean,

I'll talk to her.
It should be me.

( Overlapping conversations,
laughter and light music )

( Shutter clicking )

Lovely. Thank you, ladies.

KAMALA: With pleasure.

Nothing demonic there.

Yeah, well something
possessed her

to buy those shoes.

Anything?

Mm.

I'm collecting imagery
on everyone in the family

but thus far I've not
seen anything alarming.

What about her?

All of her numbers are normal.

If anything, a bit low.

Maybe she's in
energy-saving mode?

Ooh, god, your boss is

attractive.

You and he aren't...?

No, no.

No, I'm trying to
hit all of the bad

life choices before I
start repeating any.

Any ideas about why these
things keep happening to me?

- We'll figure it out.
- Don't worry.

You know the other night,

when my corset was
about to kill me

there was a second I was afraid
you weren't gonna, you know?

Do the thing.

I-I'm sorry. It's just,

you know, I-I never liked to...

You know, I never told anyone.

You're a good friend.

Well, all of those
summers by the lake,

it was pretty cool
being the only cabin

that always had a campfire.

Priya, I wanted to talk
to you about your dad.

Oh, you know, I hate
to see Ruby alone.

( Footsteps away )

Aunt Ruby?

? Gentle music ?

Are you all right?

Oh...

So many pretty people.

I am just so glad
that you're here

to see Leon and I get married.

No, I-I'm not, dear.

( Laughs )

Of course you are.

I'll be here, darling,

but you'll be dead.

? Ominous music ?

y,

Hi, Zooey! Is Susan around?

- Hi!
- Hi.

Hi.

Mm.

- All righty.
- Ooh.

Increased energy
around the shrine,

but nothing unexpected.

Religious iconography
always interferes

with normal energy flows.

Tell me about it.

It interfered with
20 years of my life.

The greatest concentration
of P.K.E. in the house

is right here.

LUKE: Dad again.

So, nothing out of the
ordinary on the guests.

Even your friend
in the wheelchair.

God, I thought she'd
bend the needle.

But these...

Are the last photos I took.

The happy couple?

Now, that is weird.

There's nothing on the bride.

Bride is clean.

The groom

is carrying some serious
metaphysical baggage.

Or he's being targeted.

How do you feel about
hacking into some

international birth and
death certificate records?

Oh, I love it.

It's like existentially
Googling your exes.

Mm.

Thank you for picking
this up for me.

Sorry I couldn't
make it less hideous.

So, I, um...

I-I tried to talk
to you last night

but things got a little weird.

Ah, you think?

"You're gonna be
dead?" Who says that?

- She's old?
- She's batshit crazy.

I don't care if she raised
Leon. That is not okay.

So, um, we've known each
other since the fourth grade.

Yes, since you sucker-punched
Todd Prentiss for calling me

- a racist name.
- Not accurate.

He saw it coming. He
was just too slow.

You were my hero.

God, I think that that's when I
decided that I wanted to be you.

Me?

Well, you were way more
popular than I ever was!

And you were much
better at sports.

Yeah, but when you
hit a softball,

it seemed to go further

and, occasionally,
change direction.

I know, that's before
you could control it,

but it did give you
this air of mystery.

And you had secrets and,
ah, you were so smart.

You know that people used to
think that you were an alien?

Silly Earthlings.

( Laughter )

Oh, god, it feels so
good to laugh again.

You know, I'm afraid to go out.

If you guys don't figure
out what is going on.

Actually, we...

We have a theory.

( Sigh )

Okay.

I need to talk to
you about your dad.

Did he stiff you on money
you won betting on the NBA?

- Priya...
- 'Cuz you really should have

said something when we
were settling the estate.

Have you seen him?

Lately?

I mean, I think about
my dad every day

I'm not talking about memories.

? Emotional music ?

Have you

seen him?

In the house?

Wait, all of this bad shit
that's been happening,

you think it's my dad?

My dead dad.

That he-he's trying
to stop the wedding?

That he's trying to hurt me?

Yeah.

He may not be the

the father you remember.

I'm not listening
to this anymore.

Wha... Priya! Hold on.

I am aware of your company's
weird little specialty.

You are seeing spooks around
every corner now, aren't you?

Priya!

You know, maybe you
shouldn't be at the wedding.

Just stay away from.

Ooh!

? Ominous music ?

This elevator is perfect.

Zero defects.

You're kidding me?

You don't understand:

What you described
literally can't happen.

Well, the doors opened,
and nothing was there.

According to...?

People.

All I can tell you is that
this is a properly installed,

properly maintained medium

for safe vertical transport.

Hm. So you'll be
riding it down, then?

I'm off to the Donovan house.

Good luck.

I believe I'll take the stairs.

Hm. Good choice.

Priya, I know you and your dad

had such an amazing
relationship.

When we were in high school,

I had that strict
11 o'clock curfew

and if some boy dropped me off

even a minute after 11,

Dad would blink the light
switch three times and it meant,

"I'm not going to embarrass
you with an appearance,

but you need to know
that I'm watching.

? Warm music ?

"And I love you."

Dev was a great dad.

And not just to you.

My dad was working all the time.

Traveling...

Dev was always there for me.

Me, too.

You okay?

( Sigh )

Uh, yeah.

Just curious: What do you
know about the spooky aunt?

Ruby?

Uh, she raised Leon.

He worships her.

How bad is her dementia?

She's a little
slow on the uptake.

Has trouble recognizing people.

I've just found that
people with dementia

are kind of like the things
we find in old houses:

We just kind of
understand each other.

Tonight is the rehearsal dinner?

Yep. ( Sigh )

The show must go on!

? Gentle music ?

What the...?

Hello!

I thought you were long gone.

Oh.

Let me help.

Thank you. This is, uh,
the last of my stuff.

We're leaving a bunch of
my grandfather's furniture

and books;

Some of his art.

Susan wants it for staging.

Ah.

( Hatch closes )

I never want to
go in there again.

I don't blame you.

But you're going inside anyway.

It's my job.

Yeah.

? Gentle music ?

You know,

I used to be scared of you.

Really?

That pleases me to no end.

That I was scared of you?

That you no longer are.

Megan...

Luke is a very...

Very fine man.

But he is an anomaly.

He walks an odd,
often lonely path.

I'm so glad you've chosen
to walk it with him,

for however long.

It isn't always easy.

Ahh...

Why is it that the
sweetest rewards

only sing to us on the
other side of hardship?

That's beautiful.

Is that Shakespeare?

No, just a thought
I had this morning

while feeding my cat.

Hm.

Go.

Leave this awful place behind.

( Engine turns over )

? Ominous music ?

Shall we dance?

( Soft approaching footsteps )

( Bass hit and
high-pitched ring )

AUNT RUBY (ETHEREAL):
Oh. Oh, my...

It's okay.

I'm Luke.

I'm a friend of Priya's.

I can...

I hear you

but we're not speaking.

You and me, Ruby

we both have

a way.

A gift.

If being old is a gift,

I'd like to give it back.

( Approaching footsteps )

( Knocking )

PHIL: Got a second?

LUKE: You find something?

We are all friends here.

Go ahead.

? Emotional music ?

This is your "something new".

Your father picked it
out just before he...

Well, you know.

He knew Leon was the
one before you did.

And the death certificates
followed the marriage licenses

by only days, sometimes hours.

Luke, this goes
back generations.

1926.

( Low rumble )

The first love

can never be the first wife.

( Sniffle )

Leon's great-great-grandfather,
Isaiah,

was promised to a woman

named Johanna.

But Isaiah loved another girl,

named Anora.

But, still,

a broken promise can
be a powerful thing.

( Sniffle )

There's always been whispers
about Johanna's mother

that she had a-a certain power.

And Johanna

she made a promise
that very night

that the first love
of all Baptiste men

would die before they could wed.

And so, it has been ever since.

Leon is next to have
his heart broken.

( Sobbing )

The wedding is not until
tomorrow and Priya's still okay.

So, maybe we can

Johanna will not be cheated.

Priya must sleep tonight.

But she won't wake up.

She won't wake up.

( Sobbing )

Sh, sh, sh.

Sh, sh, sh.

( Creaking )

? Mysterious music ?

( Click )

( Static )

( Beeps )

- ( Faster beeping )
- Oh, dear.

- Ahh!
- ( Tumbling down stairs )

- You people are insane.
- Leon, tell them they're wrong!

It's a stupid old legend.

Leon, was your mother
your father's first wife?

Of course!

They were going to get married
right after I was born.

She died. That's why
my Aunt Ruby raised me.

- Leon.
- Wait!

M-my grandmother!

She married my grandfather,
and she was his first.

His second love.

I'm sorry. I've been studying
your family history all day.

Yours too, by the
way. We need to talk.

Okay, but what about my family?

( Wind and thunder )

( Female voice )

Jesse Baptiste.

Engaged to Renee Pierre.

She died.

A year later he marries your
grandma, Keisha Samaroo.

Your grandfather, Zuriel,
engaged to Felicia Henry.

She dies so he married.

Oh, okay! Just stop!

Look, I am sorry! I won't

I won't see her again,
okay? So, just don't!

- There's another way.
- You get married right now.

- PRIYA & LEON: Now?
- KAMALA: Now?

All right. But how?

I know a guy.

( Thunder crackles )

I was really your first love?

First and last.

Dearly beloved.

( Growls and screams )

The short version, Father. Hm?

Do you, Priya, pledge
to do the things.

( Otherworldly
howls and groans )

I do!

- Great. Super.
- So, do you, Leon...

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- All the things! I do!

JOHANNA: You must not!!

( Bed slams to floor )

( Creaking; Screams )

- Who's got the ring?
- Any ring will do!

Priya, your necklace!

Wrap it around his
finger! Use it as a ring!

Look out!

( Kukri clatters to floor )

Now that Priya and Leon have
given themselves to each other

by solemn vows with the joining
of hands, I pronounce you.

( Echoing otherworldly sobbing )

( Relieved sigh )

It's Daddy!

? Uplifting music ?

I now pronounce
you man and wife!

( Gasping )

You okay?

You smell that too, right?

Marigolds.

Daddy's marigolds.

( Sigh )

Nice work, Padre.

Believe it or not, I've worked
worse weddings than that.

( Phone buzzes, dings )

( Text whoosh )

? Mysterious music ?

It's a bunch of
texts from August.

He's back at the Donovan house.

Megan is gone?

Afraid.

August doesn't do "afraid".

( Engine revving hard )

( Tires screech )

( Footsteps on stairs )

( Bass hit and
high-pitched ring )

( Creaking wood )

( Howl )

( Thud )

Luke!

( Door closes )

Luke!

Okay, buddy. Look
at me! Look at me.

Stay with me. Stay with me. Yes.

Luke!

- PHIL: Oh, no, no, no!
- SUSAN: Call 911! Call 911!

PHIL: Stay with me!

? Closing theme ?

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