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1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,480
This programme contains
strong language and adult humour.
2
00:00:04,520 --> 00:00:07,360
Introducing the new era, sick heads.
Calling us sick heads, charming.
3
00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:10,080
Two months of me, you can afford
to make this place less disgusting.
4
00:00:10,120 --> 00:00:12,560
You left the bloody crook in
the office crooking it up all day.
5
00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:15,200
Feels like we're keeping 'em here
for no reason. Know what I mean?
6
00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:17,920
Just hoarding Greek people. Get
rid of 'em. Brexit the lazy eejits.
7
00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:20,800
What do you want for your life? I've
been trying to have a wife for ages.
8
00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:22,520
You'll like it. Trust me, sexy.
9
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:28,000
All right, I'm Stath. I'm Roger.
10
00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:30,040
Nice to meet you, Roger. I'm Stath.
11
00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:31,840
Oh, this is my girlfriend, Katia.
12
00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:33,360
She's beautiful. Good afternoon.
13
00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:35,240
Yeah, she's looking stunning.
Thank you.
14
00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:37,480
You are, honestly. Oh, Stath. Innit?
15
00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:38,760
Oh, thank you.
16
00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:40,640
Thank you.
17
00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:42,840
Oh. Oh.
18
00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:45,840
Oh.
19
00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:51,160
Are you both from the agency, or...?
20
00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:53,840
No, Roger, I'm upholsterer.
Yeah. I told her to come,
21
00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:55,920
cos we're going to
a little awards thing after.
22
00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:58,440
You heard about it? Bloody hell.
23
00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:01,680
Er...no. Really?
The Haringey Letting Awards?
24
00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:05,200
We've got nomination
for Best Improvement in a Agency.
25
00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:07,320
Nothing? I don't know. Sorry.
26
00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:09,440
Well, I don't know with you, Roger.
27
00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:15,320
The telly's wicked.
Don't come with the flat.
28
00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:19,800
Is it all right
if I go out onto the balcony?
29
00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:21,080
Jesus Christ.
30
00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:24,360
Don't worry, it's going
to be finished soon.
31
00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:26,040
Can I have a go
at touring him round?
32
00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:28,040
What, you actually want to?
Yes, please.
33
00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:30,760
Sir, please,
how do we like the bathroom?
34
00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:32,720
Do you feel calm as hell
in here or what?
35
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,720
Oh, she's good.
36
00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:36,440
HE CHUCKLES
No. Oh.
37
00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:39,280
But, um... I think I am
going to make a complaint.
38
00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:41,040
Excuse me,
how can you make a complaint?
39
00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:42,840
I'm going to make a complaint.
40
00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:44,480
I'm going to make a complaint,
please.
41
00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:46,040
There's a boring pig in the toilet.
42
00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:47,800
Is there? It's him. Sorry.
43
00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:49,840
He's a boring pig. Oh, my God.
44
00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:52,240
Why you got so much passion
or something?
45
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:53,880
I love what I do. Mm.
46
00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:55,480
Oh.
47
00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:57,960
Oh, don't actually make a complaint,
please. No.
48
00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:09,120
I can't see.
What's everyone looking at?
49
00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:10,800
Oh, Sophie and Cem are kissing.
50
00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:13,320
It's so sweet.
I want to see that.
51
00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:15,720
I swear, I said I was going to
pick up like three people.
52
00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:17,920
It's like a cupboard in here.
I'm so uncomfortable.
53
00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:19,840
Al, don't you go getting
a bloody girlfriend.
54
00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:21,200
Don't worry, I won't.
55
00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:23,640
Got to save room in here
for the award. Yeah!
56
00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:26,480
If we win the award,
do we get to do a speech?
57
00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:28,600
Cos I want to do a joke where I say,
58
00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:30,800
"Thanks so much, everyone. Not."
59
00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:32,120
EVERYONE LAUGHS
60
00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:34,640
Oh, my God. Not as no.
As in, "No, I don't."
61
00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:36,680
Like a knock-knock on a door, innit?
62
00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:41,920
You lot have got to be the winners
this year, innit?
63
00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:45,320
Cos you lot are gangsta.
Thank you, Cem, we are a gangsta.
64
00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:47,800
Cem, you keep saying respectful
stuff like that to me, man,
65
00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:50,040
I'm going to smile.
You know what I mean?
66
00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:53,280
The respect coming off
of the young men in this car. Flute!
67
00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:55,560
Me, you and Al should start
a business together, innit,
68
00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:57,640
built on the respect.
Imagine that one day.
69
00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:00,000
Oi, I'm respect,
let me be in it, too.
70
00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:02,480
I don't have any respect.
71
00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:04,240
Yes, Katia!
72
00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:06,560
She just chucked her coleslaw
out the window.
73
00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:14,280
Like I keep telling you, man,
any pal of Jules is a pal of Robbo.
74
00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:16,600
Who's Jules, and who's Robbo? I am.
75
00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:18,160
Nominees!
76
00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:21,120
Looking sharp, eh?
Lovely clothes you all always wear.
77
00:03:21,160 --> 00:03:22,840
Yes. We make good choices.
78
00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:25,080
I can't help but witness
that you drove Carole
79
00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:26,920
and Dean in the same car
as Smethwicks. Oh?
80
00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,080
And that to me
feels a little bit greasy.
81
00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:31,080
Oh, God, did I?
82
00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:33,600
Oi, did you lot
sneak into the back of my car?
83
00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:35,760
Away with ya, hitchhikers. What?
84
00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:38,800
Sod off, you muggy melts. Fire. Ooh.
85
00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:41,000
Right, guys,
now it's just true squad.
86
00:03:41,040 --> 00:03:43,920
Can I just say how proud I am
to be here with you lot?
87
00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:45,320
It's not even embarrassing.
88
00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:46,760
And, do you know what, Jules?
89
00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:48,880
We really appreciate...
Oh, God, get off.
90
00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:50,480
The baby just kicked first time.
91
00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:52,040
Not interested. Oh.
92
00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:54,600
See you inside. Dean.
Oh, good, it's got legs.
93
00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:57,840
That's not annoying, is it?
Legs in me while I'm trying to work.
94
00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:01,280
Can I touch the kick?
Would the father mind terribly?
95
00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:06,280
Ooh, it's hard. Ooh. So hard.
96
00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:08,840
Katia, poke the hard.
Right, that's enough now, thank you.
97
00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:12,240
Don't treat my midriff like a dog,
please. Thank you. Oh.
98
00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:13,680
I bet if we have a baby, yeah,
99
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:16,200
your tummy's going to be
even harder than Carole's, innit?
100
00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:18,120
Like metal, like a car.
101
00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:20,240
One baby? Give me a challenge.
102
00:04:20,280 --> 00:04:22,440
I want at least six, most ten.
103
00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:24,160
We won Best Agency,
104
00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:25,600
Most Unique Approach,
105
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:26,920
Best Colour Scheme.
106
00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:29,360
And I got Best Viewing Banter.
107
00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:32,520
Sorry, how are they
checking best viewing banter?
108
00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:34,880
You send in an audio recording.
109
00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:37,080
Don't worry, littl'un,
your time will come.
110
00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:39,600
You've got a little treat
in store. Littl'un's a no.
111
00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:41,720
Anthony Stappan. Fine, thanks.
112
00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:45,960
Hi, Anthony Stappan. Hello.
Hi, Anthony Stappan.
113
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:49,120
Hi, Anthony Stapp... I know
your name, we've met already. Yeah.
114
00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:50,920
Yeah. Well, you know,
I'm hosting tonight,
115
00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:53,600
so just sort of getting my name out
there, getting it on the scene.
116
00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:56,320
I'm doing that, too.
Sophie. Katia. Katia.
117
00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:59,400
Are you two lettings agents as well?
Cos that's what I am.
118
00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:00,800
Mm, no, I make the coffee.
119
00:05:00,840 --> 00:05:03,360
AL: Oh, come on, guys,
you're so much more than that.
120
00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:04,840
They're singers, Anthony.
121
00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:06,360
Yeah, we've got Adele over here
122
00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:08,400
and Mrs bloody Ricky
Backstreet Boy on the right.
123
00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:11,520
Congratulations. I was thinking of
getting some entertainment tonight.
124
00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:14,200
But, if you want to do a song or
summat, you know, that could work.
125
00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:16,520
What would you need? Yeah.
126
00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:18,680
Is there a microphone? Yeah.
127
00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:20,640
Is there? Yeah.
128
00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:23,280
Oh, Sophie, we should sing
a song on a microphone.
129
00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:25,600
ALL TOGETHER: Oh, my God.
130
00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:27,200
What is this? Do it like that?
131
00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:29,280
AL: What song do you think
you're going to sing?
132
00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:31,280
Yeah, something from the heart,
I hope?
133
00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:33,320
Why is Julian
mingling everyone all day?
134
00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:34,840
Separate from each other, please.
135
00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:37,360
I don't like this nick and mix
of different agencies, Julian.
136
00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:40,040
Every time I look at you, man.
VASOS: Stath. What? Come.
137
00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:41,520
Now. JULIAN: All right.
138
00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:43,400
Do a big breathe for me.
139
00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:45,160
What's going on? OK.
140
00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:49,200
I want to speak some
more questions to you.
141
00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:51,120
Ah, Steven. What?
142
00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:54,800
Steven and I are going away
for a holiday of our dreams.
143
00:05:54,840 --> 00:05:57,600
What, are you going two weeks
Cyprus? Was it wedding or dead?
144
00:05:57,640 --> 00:05:58,800
Is someone dead?
145
00:05:58,840 --> 00:06:01,520
Can I come?
I want to get some almonds.
146
00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:03,000
Oh! No, sweetheart.
147
00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:06,320
We're going to Southampton for
one year to stay with my cousin.
148
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:09,200
What you going to do
in Southampton for one year?
149
00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:11,640
Just be with my sweet Steven.
150
00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:13,320
See the sights.
151
00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:14,760
Have fish and chips.
152
00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:17,120
Have pub lunch.
Have Kentucky chicken.
153
00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:19,360
Have hot soup. Have a burger.
154
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:21,360
Have some soup.
Have some curry?
155
00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:23,640
Don't add meals to it.
156
00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:27,160
Dad, what we going to do,
just not see you for a whole year?
157
00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:30,040
Why not see your girlfriend
and boyfriend instead?
158
00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:33,600
You're both ready to go now...
159
00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:36,120
..and it is letting me do my dream.
160
00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:39,440
Thank you so much, my babies.
That's OK.
161
00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:42,360
Did I tell you that we're going to
sing today with music?
162
00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:45,000
And now I think I might be famous!
163
00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:47,560
See, this is wonderful.
164
00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:50,080
What you going to do about
Michael and Eagle?
165
00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:52,360
Julian is going to look after
things, OK?
166
00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:53,680
He's going to look after you.
167
00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:56,560
But you are the main one.
The family one, OK?
168
00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:58,680
OK.
169
00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:03,640
I'm sorry, I'm just so happy
about you going on holiday.
170
00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:06,320
I'm happy about you
going on holiday.
171
00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:10,320
And I want to win the award, too!
172
00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:20,200
Oh, my God,
there's free chewing gum!
173
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,480
Oh, mint flavour.
174
00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:25,000
And sherry! Have you seen this?
175
00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:27,560
Oh, my God,
and the stage is so high.
176
00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:29,320
I think we should do that one
we did
177
00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:31,520
about women's rights
that we came up with,
178
00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:34,680
cos look, there are women here,
they could learn about their rights.
179
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,880
Oh, my God. Ooh.
180
00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:40,040
Sister, my queen, how we going to
do it without a backing track?
181
00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:42,840
I would happily clap from the crowd.
Whatever.
182
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:45,240
You give me beat, I give you treat.
183
00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:49,160
Oh, my God, like mm, mm, mm,
here, here.
184
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:50,800
Sophie!
185
00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:53,640
Is that where you're sat?
Isn't it a little bit lonely?
186
00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,640
Oh, VIP in the house.
187
00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:57,480
Come on now. VI...
188
00:07:57,520 --> 00:08:00,120
It's cos we're not up for an award.
Do the dance.
189
00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:02,120
Sophie, can I have that meal deal
back, please?
190
00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:04,280
We're not allowed drinks
or chewing gum or nothing.
191
00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:07,120
Cos you don't listen. I said bring
your packed lunch and get prepared.
192
00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:09,400
Brother, what are you doing?
It's not a food bank.
193
00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:11,200
No, that's sick.
194
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:13,600
Stath, good luck winning, man.
195
00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:15,480
You got a good attitude.
196
00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:17,480
Thank you.
Sorry you're over there.
197
00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:19,000
Free chewing gum. Chew. Have a chew.
198
00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:20,600
Could you please take your seats
199
00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:24,000
and the awards will
begin in approximately 15 seconds.
200
00:08:25,960 --> 00:08:27,800
Hey, Julian, good luck, friend.
201
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,320
Cheeky swifter?
202
00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:31,360
What is it? Champagne.
203
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:33,200
Turkish. No.
204
00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:34,680
Oh!
205
00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:36,640
DRUMROLL
206
00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:40,840
CLEARS THROAT
Thank you.
207
00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:43,920
FEEDBACK Ooh. Hello, everyone.
208
00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:46,960
Or should I say,
hello, lettings agents.
209
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,760
Bloody hell, he's hilarious.
210
00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:52,280
Tonight, we're going to be
giving awards to agencies
211
00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:56,000
and agents who are not only
fantastic, but also...
212
00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:57,440
..amazing.
213
00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:59,280
CHEWING
214
00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:03,440
And just to say, it's great to hear
so much chewing amongst you all.
215
00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:05,640
The chewing gum is free,
so help yourself
216
00:09:05,680 --> 00:09:07,560
to as much of it as you can manage.
217
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:12,200
So, first up, it is the winner
of biggest agency by office size,
218
00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:13,680
not number of employees.
219
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,400
The winner is, um...
220
00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:18,880
DRUMROLL Wriggly Let. Wriggly Let.
221
00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:23,080
Best social media presence
goes to...
222
00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:24,800
-..CoolVibe.
-Lets.
223
00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:28,360
Woo! Very deserving, that one.
224
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:32,120
Best agent-client relationship
goes to Abinash Supiya -
225
00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:34,680
hope I pronounced that right -
from Shy Guy Lets
226
00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:36,800
and his client Mr Charlie Perkins.
227
00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:38,600
Woo!
228
00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:41,960
We just really hit it off
at the viewing. Very deserving.
229
00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:49,160
Most money made in the year -
230
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:51,520
Smethwicks!
231
00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:54,960
Don't clap it.
It's about time.
232
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,440
Quickest viewings.
233
00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:58,360
Yeah, it goes to Smethwicks.
234
00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:01,600
Smethwicks. It's Smethwicks.
235
00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:04,600
This means the universe to me.
236
00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:07,320
I don't they should have won!
Shut up.
237
00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:09,640
So let's move on to
this next award, then.
238
00:10:09,680 --> 00:10:10,800
THEY SING
239
00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:13,080
Sorry, is someone clapping...?
240
00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:15,760
Excuse me, is someone
clapping in the wrong bits?
241
00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:17,480
Sorry.
242
00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:21,040
So...now this one is voted for
by a team of previous winners.
243
00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:25,160
It's for lettings agent of the year,
and the winner is, this year,
244
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:28,040
Dean Townsend
from Michael and Eagle Lettings.
245
00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:29,840
We won!
246
00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:32,960
And by winning this award,
247
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,600
Dean agrees to be
part of the Lettings Mentor Scheme
248
00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:37,640
so he'll be
going across the borough
249
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:41,000
sort of giving his expert opinion
to agencies and so on.
250
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:43,440
I really look forward to him
coming over to see me,
251
00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:47,720
just giving me a few sort of,
you know, tricks of the business.
252
00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:49,640
Yes, Dean!
253
00:10:49,680 --> 00:10:54,280
Do I have to do that thing,
that giving my opinion?
254
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,280
Yeah. Do you not want to?
255
00:10:58,320 --> 00:10:59,760
Fuck sake.
256
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,600
I did drama at Uni.
257
00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:06,360
Fuck am I doing?
258
00:11:09,560 --> 00:11:13,920
Right, thank you. Thank you
very much to Dean Townsend.
259
00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:17,720
So we're now going to take
a very, very long interval.
260
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:21,400
Enjoy your chewing gum,
and the sherry.
261
00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:24,280
I've gotta go talk to him. Sorry,
I got my hand caught in your hair.
262
00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:25,360
I've gotta talk to him.
263
00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:28,440
Dean! That is wicked.
Top, top, wicked times ten.
264
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:31,240
Stath, stop, stop, stop. Times 20.
What? I don't want to seem like
265
00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:33,360
I give a shit, trust me.
But I can't with Julian.
266
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:34,600
You want to chat to your dad.
267
00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:37,320
Julian's looking to sack all you
lot apart from me and Carole.
268
00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:39,960
He can look all day,
it's not hide and seek.
269
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,960
He can't do that.
It's my dad's business too.
270
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,160
No, he signed it over to Julian.
271
00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:45,960
He doesn't own it any more.
272
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,000
He signed...?
273
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,520
The agency over to Julian.
274
00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:52,440
Do you understand when I say stuff?
275
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:53,840
Yes.
276
00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:58,120
Can you chill in our area
for the second half?
277
00:11:58,160 --> 00:12:01,120
Cos Bits and the other guy are just
sleeping together the whole time.
278
00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:03,920
Sorry, I've got to practise our song
about women.
279
00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:05,480
I'm scared I don't know the words.
280
00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:08,320
I keep saying winging.
It's women.
281
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:11,200
Are you going to sing a song, yeah?
OK. Why?
282
00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:13,720
I thought you knew!
YELLING
283
00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:17,000
Is dad tickling Stath? Oh,
he's always wanted him to do that.
284
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,800
Oh, they're coming over.
Hi, dad. Hello, princess.
285
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,280
We've gotta sort this out.
286
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:23,800
Dad, why are you shaking the belt?
Stath, Stath...
287
00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:26,480
Do you want that? Give it to me.
What? Look, I'll come back for you.
288
00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:29,040
Let me in! I'll come back
for you. Dad!
289
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:31,000
What, so we can come out now, yeah?
290
00:12:31,040 --> 00:12:33,920
My breath is honkin',
I need some chewing gum, you know.
291
00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:37,800
Anyone got any gums licensed for me?
Yeah? All right, all right.
292
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,240
Whatever it is, the logo
just has to represent ME.
293
00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:42,880
I was thinking like a silhouette of
me with my hand on my heart,
294
00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:44,320
like honesty. Values.
295
00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:46,440
What, a sword?
What would I be doing with that?
296
00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:47,880
Oh, swinging it? Yeah, I love that.
297
00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:49,720
What, he's buying a sword
on the phone now?
298
00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:51,440
What, you scared I'm going to
come for you?
299
00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:53,160
Hang on, hang on.
I'll call you back, yeah?
300
00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:55,400
All right, sorry about that.
All right, bye-bye, bye.
301
00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:57,440
Right! What can I do for you?
What's that?
302
00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:59,520
Good news about Dean, though, innit?
Yeah.
303
00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:01,040
What's that? Is that a scarf?
304
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:05,360
That is a...dividing thing
from downstairs.
305
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:07,920
Anyway, don't act like
I don't know a thing
306
00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:11,520
that I do know about you sacking me.
307
00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:13,840
Oh, I didn't know
you knew about that.
308
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:15,520
Yeah, sorry,
going to have to lose you.
309
00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:17,560
Well...don't.
310
00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:19,440
Keep me, please.
311
00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:21,200
Well, look, don't worry about it.
312
00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:23,760
You know, I'm only keeping Dean,
so that's something, innit?
313
00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:26,840
Wait, you'll get rid of Carole?
Are you mad? She's very skilful.
314
00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:28,000
Well, no, she's not.
315
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,920
And even if she's was, she's
pregnant and that's an illness.
316
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:33,400
How are you going to talk about
new life like that?
317
00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:35,720
Are you fiendish? Dad, I beg you,
hit him with that thing.
318
00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:38,400
That isn't a problem for anyone.
319
00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:40,080
You said you would keep Stathy.
320
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:41,280
That was the promise.
321
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:43,600
Right, well,
I don't know what I said, do I?
322
00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:46,120
But, you know, I don't mind that
I've changed my mind about
323
00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:49,040
whatever promise I've made, so.
OK. OK, Mr Fuck Smart.
324
00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:51,720
I changed my mind. Oh, my God.
It's not your business now.
325
00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:53,200
Sorry, sorry, boring.
326
00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:56,360
Boring chat, this.
Right, you signed it over, OK?
327
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,440
You can't take it back.
328
00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:00,680
All the investment I'm getting
is on the basis
329
00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:03,800
that I staff the business with
people who can let flats. Exactly.
330
00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:06,680
Stath's let one flat in six months.
And he's living in his car.
331
00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:08,920
Come on, don't be stupid.
Living what?
332
00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:11,240
He has flat.
333
00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:13,400
I was living in my car,
334
00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:16,360
but I've been staying with Katia
for the last three nights.
335
00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:18,520
Shut up. Don't say stuff.
336
00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:20,960
You said something about
someone being stupid
337
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:23,080
and you're stupid, cos it's smoking.
338
00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:25,320
And there's dead cows
on the cigarette box,
339
00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:28,000
and so you're going to die like
a cow tonight. Come on, Stathy.
340
00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:29,760
But wait. Come on, Stathy.
341
00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:32,720
Yeah, I'll see you downstairs.
Yeah, I'll say something nice...
342
00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:34,720
HE RANTS IN GREEK
343
00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:39,240
No, no, leave the door,
I'm going to come down in a...
344
00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:41,160
No, that's, you can't do that,
that locks it.
345
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:42,800
Oh, you've cracked it.
346
00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:45,440
What?
Oh, what, it's the first floor.
347
00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:47,000
You don't think I can climb down?
348
00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:48,440
Stath!
349
00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:05,200
Oh, my God, oh, my God, as a joke
before we sing, we should say,
350
00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:07,880
"We're not letting agents,
we're singing agents.
351
00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:09,960
Licensed to sing." Oh.
352
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,800
I'm going to find Steven.
353
00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:14,200
I am so sorry, Stathy.
354
00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:16,680
He said he wouldn't do this.
355
00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:18,440
I pissed it. No.
356
00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:21,040
Oh, my God, Stath, Stath, we're
not.. Yeah? ..letting agents.
357
00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:22,520
You're not? We're singing agents.
358
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:24,080
Right, there you are, thank you.
359
00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:26,240
Where's Julian?
Our thing's up in a bit.
360
00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:29,840
He's coming,
he's just wearing a suit elsewhere.
361
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:34,080
Did Dean tell you about Julian
doing the sack on us?
362
00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:35,840
Oh, yeah.
363
00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:37,080
Oh, chick, yeah.
364
00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:38,840
Oh, chicky,
I did know about that, yeah.
365
00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:40,560
I'm so sorry.
Yeah, it's rotten, innit?
366
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:43,080
But, do you know what, chickadoo,
you're gonna be fine, ain't ya?
367
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:45,600
Why are you sorry?
He's doing the sack on you as well.
368
00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:46,680
Boom, shank.
369
00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:48,760
Ah, no, he's not, no.
370
00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:50,120
I'm part of the new thing as well.
371
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:52,960
So, it's me,
Dean, Smethwicks lot, yeah.
372
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:54,920
Yeah, he just said he's firing you,
to me.
373
00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:56,360
Mm, he, No.
374
00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:57,440
No.
375
00:15:57,480 --> 00:15:59,520
No, he can't fire me
while I'm pregnant.
376
00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:02,240
I'll take him to the fucking law.
377
00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:04,760
Oh, so when it's you, it's bad,
but when it's me, it's,
378
00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:07,000
"Oh, chickeny chicken,
you're a chicken."
379
00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:11,720
Yeah, well, I've got a little baby
child on the way to support.
380
00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:15,200
And Lord knows his dad doesn't have
381
00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:17,880
a £2 coin to his big stupid name.
382
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:20,280
What, is the dad not giving
you money?
383
00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:22,640
What is he cheap as you like?
384
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:24,120
You tell me that.
385
00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:25,800
Tell you about what?
386
00:16:25,840 --> 00:16:27,600
Cause it's, yeah...
387
00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:29,000
The baby is yours, so...
388
00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:32,480
Please.
389
00:16:32,520 --> 00:16:35,560
Yeah, well,
I've only slept with you and Cook.
390
00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:37,640
And, erm, yeah, well...
391
00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:40,720
I found out he's had the snip,
so, yeah.
392
00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:42,680
Gonna be a dad. Congrats.
393
00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:47,320
Why don't you look at me?
Am I meat?!
394
00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:48,360
Well...
395
00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:51,400
Where are we running? Katia?
396
00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:52,440
To my grave!
397
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:55,720
Oh. Right, where's Julian?
398
00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:58,280
I can give you £120.
399
00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:00,000
Is...? Do you want that?
400
00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:04,480
And the extra, I could get £40 from
my dad, I promise, every Sunday.
401
00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:06,440
Julian.
402
00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:07,640
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
403
00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:12,440
And the award for most improvement
in an agency goes to...
404
00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:13,680
..Michael and Eagle.
405
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:16,600
Stathy!
406
00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:19,840
Your daddy doesn't want
to do the speech. Do you do it?
407
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:20,880
APPLAUSE
408
00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:32,080
I didn't faint,
I just tripped over the sherry.
409
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:37,200
There you go.
410
00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:38,680
Hmm.
411
00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:41,080
What, do I just tell a story
or something?
412
00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:42,240
Yeah, whatever you like.
413
00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:44,280
Just big up Anthony Stappan Rentals,
or...
414
00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:46,360
Right. Don't worry,
you don't have to do it.
415
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:47,400
Ah.
416
00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:49,440
Erm...
417
00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:52,880
I'm Stath, I work for
Michael and Eagle Lettings.
418
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:55,840
It's my dad's thing, his business.
419
00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:59,040
He started the business
when I finished school,
420
00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:01,960
cos I wanted to be a hairdresser,
but I cut someone's back.
421
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:06,920
He wanted it to just be a family
thing, but...
422
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:10,720
it got quite hard just me and him,
because...
423
00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:13,280
I kept forgetting
to let the flats, or whatever.
424
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:19,920
It's stupid that we're just winning
this improvement award now, cos...
425
00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:24,000
..like...
426
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:25,840
..I hate the business now.
427
00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:27,840
What's better improvements?
428
00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:33,080
Turning nothing into a business,
like what my father, Dad, done?
429
00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:37,720
Er... Or turning a good family
business into a posh shithole?
430
00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:39,080
Which is what Julian...
431
00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:40,120
What?
432
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:42,440
Just in defence of the awards,
they've only been running for a
433
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:44,960
year, so there's no way you could
have won it previously, you know?
434
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,680
Right, well don't... Oh, sorry.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
435
00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:49,360
Really? Just last year?
436
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:50,400
Yeah, last year. Mm.
437
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:52,720
Right.
438
00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:55,400
OK, well, thank you.
439
00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:58,280
Oh, and if anyone has any work,
can I have it?
440
00:18:58,320 --> 00:18:59,920
Cos I'm having a baby with Kat...
441
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,480
With Carole.
442
00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:03,880
CHEESY AWARDS MUSIC PLAYS
443
00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:07,320
Well...
444
00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:08,960
..lucky Carole.
445
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:11,040
Maybe she ran back in here? Yeah,
446
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:12,880
I think if she was running away,
447
00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:14,800
she probably would have just
kept running out.
448
00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:17,000
Well, I think that is
more or less us finished.
449
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:19,360
There were a couple of girls who
said they were gonna do a song.
450
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:20,760
Is that happening, or...?
451
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:24,400
Oh, my God, what's Katia doing, man?
I'm not a solo singer.
452
00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:26,720
If I go up there they're gonna
chuck kaka at me.
453
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:31,000
Have you seen Sophie?
454
00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:33,840
Are you all right, geez?
455
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:35,320
Celebrating your win, yeah?
456
00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:38,280
Are you sure you know it?
457
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:40,240
I think I can...
458
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:41,520
Let's do it.
459
00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:43,400
Everybody in the house,
460
00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:47,120
thank you very much
for letting me on stage.
461
00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:48,920
Now...
AL LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
462
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:52,880
Thank you very much.
463
00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:54,680
Oh, clap, yeah.
464
00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:58,880
OFF-KEY: I... I just wanna get
down to the club
465
00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:02,920
♪ And enjoy my female rides... ♪
466
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:05,160
She's good at singing, innit?
467
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:07,440
AL SINGS OFF-KEY:
Licking champagne out the glass.
468
00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:08,720
♪ Women are so blessed.
469
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:11,000
♪ Got my sisters by my side... ♪
470
00:20:12,360 --> 00:20:14,200
He's good at singing, innit?
471
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:17,360
BOTH OFF-KEY: And we don't need
no bullshit, baby.
472
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:21,000
♪ Boys ain't nothing
but bullshit crazy.
473
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:22,520
♪ Where my crazy ladies?
474
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:26,200
♪ I wanna get married in Ibiza
to my girls... ♪
475
00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:28,800
♪ Because girls run the world
476
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:31,720
♪ So, raise a glass of beer
and set fire to the beer
477
00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:33,760
♪ But make sure it's safe
478
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:39,360
♪ Keep all the women safe... ♪
479
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:41,160
SCATTERED APPLAUSE
480
00:20:58,440 --> 00:20:59,920
They're good singers, innit?
481
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:05,080
Oi, you know in your thing you said
you're looking for a job.
482
00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:06,440
What's going on with that?
483
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:07,760
The...
484
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:10,720
My dad's having the soup
in Southampton
485
00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:13,120
and Julian's... I don't know.
486
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:17,520
What, if you're being serious,
we should start our own thing.
487
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:19,240
Respecting flats or
whatever you said.
488
00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:20,520
It'd be sick.
489
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:21,560
Think about it. Nah.
490
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:26,080
Yeah.
491
00:21:26,120 --> 00:21:29,200
What, our own thing?
That's a true idea, innit?
492
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:30,360
With Al, too, as well.
493
00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:33,280
Just have proper gentlemen working
there, innit?
494
00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:35,080
That's... I could do that!
495
00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:38,040
This just says your name.
496
00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:39,960
Yeah, Cem.
497
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:41,600
Ah, sick, I'm gonna tell Sophie.
498
00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:47,680
You crunched me well tight, innit?
499
00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:49,680
Oh, sorry, did I hurt you?
500
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:52,080
No. It's the singing girl,
innit?
501
00:21:52,120 --> 00:21:53,120
Sick man.
502
00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:56,360
I didn't eat my crisps,
so...
503
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:57,520
..you can have it.
504
00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:01,680
I think Al fancies me.
505
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:05,760
Ah...
506
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:06,800
OK.
507
00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:11,600
What, do you fancy Al?
508
00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:13,280
Err...
509
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:15,080
I think so, yeah.
510
00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:21,040
Ah, OK.
Shit, but I fancy you. Yeah.
511
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:23,320
Beautiful singing, you two.
512
00:22:23,360 --> 00:22:25,400
Sorry, did you tell them?
I forgot, we've gotta go.
513
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:28,400
What? I just said about how
me and Al fancy each other.
514
00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:29,520
Does Cem know? Oh, no.
515
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:33,000
Oh, Cem, are you annoyed?
516
00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:35,080
Yeah.
517
00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:37,120
I'm sorry, Cem. Stath. What?
518
00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:38,480
See you two in a bit.
519
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:44,080
What?! Carole's baby?
520
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:49,160
I'm not even sure Carole's gonna
let me call the baby Katia.
521
00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:51,480
Wait, am I gonna be
the auntie to the baby, or not?
522
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:53,600
I don't know.
Carole hasn't told me anything.
523
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:54,640
Right. Sorry.
524
00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:58,920
But, Stath,
think about when we have crisps
525
00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:02,960
and chats in the living room,
there's gonna be a baby there now.
526
00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:04,400
What, me and you? Yeah.
527
00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:07,800
And we could tell it stuff,
like when we tell each other stuff.
528
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:09,400
We could say, animal noises...
529
00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:12,640
..or drinks choices.
530
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:16,360
♪ A cat goes ring
531
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:18,240
♪ A dog goes boff
532
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:22,000
BOTH: And the cow runs away
533
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:23,880
CAROLE SCREAMS
534
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:24,920
Julian!
535
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:28,160
Do you think
he tripped over the bikes?
536
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:52,760
Subtitles by Red Bee Media
537
00:23:52,810 --> 00:23:57,360
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